1
00:00:15,809 --> 00:00:17,519
Whoa! What happened to you?

2
00:00:17,530 --> 00:00:20,157
It's not my fault. They put
the saloon next to the salon

3
00:00:20,361 --> 00:00:21,946
and I got very confused.

4
00:00:24,615 --> 00:00:26,325
What's your name, stranger?

5
00:00:26,408 --> 00:00:29,370
They call me "Quiet Burp".

6
00:00:29,453 --> 00:00:31,330
Yeah, I've heard about you.

7
00:00:32,539 --> 00:00:33,848
Flush.

8
00:00:33,859 --> 00:00:36,194
Oh yeah? Know what a flush can't handle?

9
00:00:37,545 --> 00:00:38,754
Four deuces.

10
00:00:40,183 --> 00:00:41,267
Way to go.

11
00:00:41,423 --> 00:00:44,093
Something doesn't smell
right about that hand.

12
00:00:44,176 --> 00:00:45,511
Your cards neither.

13
00:00:45,594 --> 00:00:47,012
You're calling me a cheat?

14
00:00:47,023 --> 00:00:49,859
I just don't like the
feeling I'm getting plucked.

15
00:00:53,519 --> 00:00:55,437
Let's go. Train's leaving the station.

16
00:00:55,521 --> 00:00:57,189
Who's your handler, Burp?

17
00:00:57,273 --> 00:00:58,440
I'm Vivienne,

18
00:00:58,524 --> 00:01:00,234
which is a man's name back now.

19
00:01:00,317 --> 00:01:01,986
That's what you're telling yourself?

20
00:01:02,069 --> 00:01:03,320
I'm the man with no name.

21
00:01:07,366 --> 00:01:09,201
I got Buffalo, Burp and Wild.

22
00:01:09,285 --> 00:01:12,371
- But what was your name again?
- Django. Unclaimed.

23
00:01:12,454 --> 00:01:15,374
I know you had those deuces
stuffed down your pants, Burp!

24
00:01:15,457 --> 00:01:18,627
We could finish this
conversation on a moonless night.

25
00:01:18,711 --> 00:01:21,547
Yeah? And what do you
say we finish it now?

26
00:02:20,469 --> 00:02:22,138
I don't get why we're
transporting your money

27
00:02:22,149 --> 00:02:23,150
in the first place.

28
00:02:23,161 --> 00:02:24,621
Why not just build your own bank?

29
00:02:24,632 --> 00:02:26,425
Don't lecture me on business sense.

30
00:02:26,654 --> 00:02:29,406
I made all my money in
not sharp enough bone saws

31
00:02:29,490 --> 00:02:30,616
during the Civil War.

32
00:02:30,627 --> 00:02:32,504
Dulled the first batch of blades myself.

33
00:02:33,494 --> 00:02:34,787
Oh now, here's something.

34
00:02:34,870 --> 00:02:37,289
"Lady hanged for wearing pants."

35
00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:39,510
Good. One less wacko on the streets.

36
00:02:39,705 --> 00:02:42,666
"American West, uninhabited asterisk."

37
00:02:42,711 --> 00:02:44,838
I wonder what the asterisk means.

38
00:02:47,914 --> 00:02:49,332
Would you look at this, kid?

39
00:02:49,343 --> 00:02:52,680
In a few days we'll be striking
it rich in the current West.

40
00:02:53,750 --> 00:02:55,084
Oh weird.

41
00:02:55,095 --> 00:02:56,756
Does this look vegetarian to you?

42
00:02:56,767 --> 00:02:58,727
You know, I never do this,
but I'm gonna say something.

43
00:02:58,738 --> 00:03:00,573
I think we should be
keeping a low profile.

44
00:03:00,729 --> 00:03:02,106
People are still pretty upset.

45
00:03:02,117 --> 00:03:03,535
Look, it was a mutual decision

46
00:03:03,691 --> 00:03:06,026
to kick John Wilkes Booth
out of our improv group.

47
00:03:06,037 --> 00:03:07,371
Who knew he was gonna do that?

48
00:03:07,528 --> 00:03:08,904
I do feel kind of bad, though.

49
00:03:08,915 --> 00:03:10,167
Honestly, I was just glad

50
00:03:10,322 --> 00:03:12,783
he finally made an
active choice on stage.

51
00:03:14,909 --> 00:03:16,871
Can I just be the first person to say

52
00:03:16,882 --> 00:03:19,331
I love seeing this country by train?

53
00:03:21,031 --> 00:03:22,240
Ah shoot.

54
00:03:22,251 --> 00:03:23,961
Hey, Vivienne. No biggie here.

55
00:03:24,044 --> 00:03:26,004
But did you need that
money for anything?

56
00:03:35,180 --> 00:03:36,390
Hand over the money!

57
00:03:36,473 --> 00:03:37,474
They already got us.

58
00:03:37,558 --> 00:03:38,976
Oh perfect!

59
00:03:38,987 --> 00:03:41,615
Well, I'm really glad we
stopped for lunch, Jim.

60
00:03:46,264 --> 00:03:49,684
Boy! 5,000 dollars bounty
for catching the robber.

61
00:03:49,695 --> 00:03:52,531
I'm sure glad I get to
form a posse with you guys.

62
00:03:52,614 --> 00:03:54,950
Hey, how'd you get the
name Wild Joe, anyway?

63
00:03:55,033 --> 00:03:57,703
I once kissed a woman
I wasn't engaged to.

64
00:03:57,786 --> 00:03:59,538
Ruined her for every other man.

65
00:03:59,621 --> 00:04:02,791
And I almost entered a
ghost pepper challenge.

66
00:04:02,948 --> 00:04:04,699
Gave it a real hard thought.

67
00:04:04,710 --> 00:04:06,545
Hey, look at little Bobby
Oppenheimer over there

68
00:04:06,628 --> 00:04:07,963
playing with firecrackers.

69
00:04:07,974 --> 00:04:11,895
Man, is there anything more common
in these times than a rural Jew?

70
00:04:14,636 --> 00:04:17,347
All right. The bandit's
trail leads to Golden Stream.

71
00:04:17,431 --> 00:04:18,971
But look sharp, fellas, to get there,

72
00:04:18,981 --> 00:04:21,101
we gotta cross through Indian territory.

73
00:04:21,185 --> 00:04:22,269
Look.

74
00:04:25,063 --> 00:04:26,940
Am I speaking with Mrs. Kowalski?

75
00:04:27,024 --> 00:04:29,485
- I like their long shirts.
- Tell 'em.

76
00:04:29,568 --> 00:04:31,195
I like your long shirts.

77
00:04:34,698 --> 00:04:36,408
Be on the lookout for rattlers, fellas.

78
00:04:36,492 --> 00:04:40,287
If you get bit, the only cure is
for someone to suck the poison out.

79
00:04:40,370 --> 00:04:41,371
Is that right?

80
00:04:41,455 --> 00:04:45,334
Hey, I'm just gonna go take a wavy
leak by those cool sandy bushes.

81
00:04:46,293 --> 00:04:47,920
Letter for Quiet Burp.

82
00:04:48,003 --> 00:04:49,087
That's me.

83
00:04:49,171 --> 00:04:50,631
Oh cool. Wow.

84
00:04:50,714 --> 00:04:53,133
Without addresses, I
spent the past nine years

85
00:04:53,217 --> 00:04:54,593
just asking everyone I see.

86
00:04:55,511 --> 00:04:57,179
Oh, it's my letter from Skidmore!

87
00:04:57,262 --> 00:04:58,347
Did you get in?

88
00:04:58,430 --> 00:05:00,974
No, it's... it's for someone else.

89
00:05:01,058 --> 00:05:02,100
But the guy said Quiet...

90
00:05:02,184 --> 00:05:04,228
They put me on the
overweight list, okay?

91
00:05:04,311 --> 00:05:05,729
Bunch of wise guys.

92
00:05:05,813 --> 00:05:08,607
If you need me, I'll be
binge watching the campfire.

93
00:05:19,576 --> 00:05:20,577
That'll show 'em.

94
00:05:20,661 --> 00:05:23,497
Separating those
carpetbaggers from their money.

95
00:05:23,580 --> 00:05:26,291
Huh, and their Tucks
Medicated pads, too.

96
00:05:26,447 --> 00:05:27,990
Guys, we got a problem.

97
00:05:28,001 --> 00:05:30,170
Somebody dip some palm
fronds in the creek

98
00:05:30,254 --> 00:05:32,548
and stuff them through
the crescent moon hole.

99
00:05:37,636 --> 00:05:39,096
All right. The tracks have stopped.

100
00:05:39,179 --> 00:05:41,056
So the guy's gotta be
around here somewhere.

101
00:05:41,932 --> 00:05:43,559
- Hey, hey, you guys see that?

102
00:05:43,570 --> 00:05:46,031
I, I may go in just as a joke.

103
00:05:46,186 --> 00:05:49,064
I may... join you just as a joke.

104
00:05:55,153 --> 00:05:56,989
All right. I'll see you guys inside.

105
00:05:57,072 --> 00:05:59,790
Hey, and to think this horse saved me

106
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:02,160
when someone was gonna put me down.

107
00:06:02,316 --> 00:06:05,319
I wouldn't worry over
cinching them knots too tight.

108
00:06:05,330 --> 00:06:07,040
Named Sheriff West.

109
00:06:07,124 --> 00:06:09,543
Okay, I am obsessed with your coat.

110
00:06:09,626 --> 00:06:11,587
Will you stop saying
that to everyone we meet?

111
00:06:11,670 --> 00:06:14,882
You fellas ain't the first
hired guns to blow into my town.

112
00:06:14,965 --> 00:06:17,467
So you got any notions
of stirring up trouble?

113
00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:19,428
You snuff that lantern out now.

114
00:06:19,511 --> 00:06:20,804
Take a step out of line.

115
00:06:20,888 --> 00:06:23,181
The next one will be on to the scaffold.

116
00:06:23,265 --> 00:06:26,476
Don't take much to earn
tickets to a necktie social.

117
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,270
Do you have these
written down somewhere?

118
00:06:37,779 --> 00:06:38,864
Of course, if you prefer,

119
00:06:38,947 --> 00:06:41,116
we could just head on
down to the marshal's.

120
00:06:41,199 --> 00:06:43,222
They got just about everything you need

121
00:06:43,232 --> 00:06:45,662
so long as it's from the brand Nautica.

122
00:06:49,738 --> 00:06:52,074
All the envelopes are sealed.

123
00:06:52,085 --> 00:06:54,338
Hey, buddy. Is that
your schoolhouse teacher?

124
00:06:54,421 --> 00:06:55,922
School house?

125
00:06:56,006 --> 00:06:58,258
This is Arizona State University.

126
00:06:58,342 --> 00:07:00,802
Yeah? Any idea whose
sheets she's hanging?

127
00:07:00,886 --> 00:07:04,181
Her husband died in childbirth.

128
00:07:04,264 --> 00:07:06,099
His picture is in that locket.

129
00:07:06,183 --> 00:07:08,435
Oh, it's huge. She likes fat guys.

130
00:07:08,518 --> 00:07:09,936
Well, actually, word is

131
00:07:10,020 --> 00:07:12,648
the pictures of the
piece he was swinging.

132
00:07:12,659 --> 00:07:15,954
I see. Well, maybe we could
still be really good friends.

133
00:07:16,943 --> 00:07:20,072
Hey, there. Name is Quiet Burp.

134
00:07:20,155 --> 00:07:21,657
A-ha. Nice to meet you.

135
00:07:21,668 --> 00:07:25,088
I'm the "hair blowing in the
wind school mom", Lucy Stools.

136
00:07:26,923 --> 00:07:29,509
You know, I'd love to learn
more about Golden Stream.

137
00:07:29,577 --> 00:07:30,786
Would you be up for dinner?

138
00:07:30,797 --> 00:07:33,300
Oh, well, it's nice of an
armed stranger to wander into

139
00:07:33,449 --> 00:07:35,368
an active classroom to ask me this.

140
00:07:35,545 --> 00:07:37,172
How about 6:30?

141
00:07:37,183 --> 00:07:39,894
Perfect. And hey, maybe
we could go dancing after.

142
00:07:40,050 --> 00:07:41,551
I haven't been in forever.

143
00:07:43,303 --> 00:07:46,390
I wish there was a way to
dance that didn't involve this.

144
00:07:50,291 --> 00:07:51,550
All right, decent crowd.

145
00:07:51,561 --> 00:07:52,979
Now let's go through our warm ups.

146
00:07:53,063 --> 00:07:55,273
Say it with me. "Cute
cowboys come quick.

147
00:07:55,357 --> 00:07:56,858
Cute cowboys come quick."

148
00:07:56,942 --> 00:07:58,151
What are we even performing?

149
00:07:58,162 --> 00:08:01,290
Well, if there's one thing
freezing grizzled cowboys want, see,

150
00:08:01,446 --> 00:08:03,031
it's a Shakespearean drama.

151
00:08:03,042 --> 00:08:05,753
So I give you... Richard the third.

152
00:08:05,875 --> 00:08:08,836
Now, during my full frontal
scene, I want you to remain calm.

153
00:08:08,954 --> 00:08:11,456
Because if I see you getting
nervous, then I'll get nervous.

154
00:08:11,540 --> 00:08:13,208
Which scene does he get nude in?

155
00:08:13,291 --> 00:08:15,836
I don't know. It's one of
the castle ones, I think.

156
00:08:15,919 --> 00:08:17,129
I don't know. Now, come on!

157
00:08:17,212 --> 00:08:20,090
Let's show these cowboys and
Indians what they're fighting for.

158
00:08:20,173 --> 00:08:23,593
"Shine out fair sun till
I have bought a glass

159
00:08:23,677 --> 00:08:26,930
so that I may see my shadow as I pass."

160
00:08:27,931 --> 00:08:29,015
Shoot. We're losing them.

161
00:08:29,099 --> 00:08:30,475
Maybe we try a little improv.

162
00:08:30,559 --> 00:08:31,601
Okay. Okay.

163
00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:34,396
- Um, I need a location.
- Yellowstone.

164
00:08:34,479 --> 00:08:36,273
- Occupation.
- Yellowstone rancher.

165
00:08:36,356 --> 00:08:38,191
Can I hear from anyone else, please?

166
00:08:38,275 --> 00:08:40,736
- Need a little red meat here.
- A barrel maker.

167
00:08:40,819 --> 00:08:42,404
There's some fertile ground.

168
00:08:42,487 --> 00:08:44,823
- I see why you mentioned it.
- One barrel, please, sir.

169
00:08:44,906 --> 00:08:46,992
Damn it, Dog Holiday!
Don't play along with them.

170
00:08:47,075 --> 00:08:49,828
We just want to see
programs about Yellowstone.

171
00:08:49,911 --> 00:08:51,747
Can be way before right now,

172
00:08:51,830 --> 00:08:54,541
soared and near right
now or in the future.

173
00:08:54,624 --> 00:08:57,461
As long as it's a year plus Yellowstone.

174
00:08:57,544 --> 00:09:00,464
Fine. This is Yellowstone 1471.

175
00:09:00,547 --> 00:09:03,008
And in Yellowstone there's a naked king.

176
00:09:04,968 --> 00:09:08,513
I think I owe John Wilkes Booth
an apology for his improv skills.

177
00:09:08,597 --> 00:09:11,016
How do we bomb harder than
the minstrel performers?

178
00:09:11,099 --> 00:09:13,560
I can think of only one
thing that will save us.

179
00:09:13,682 --> 00:09:16,769
Here's my impression
of James A. Garfield.

180
00:09:16,813 --> 00:09:19,107
I am James A. Garfield.

181
00:09:19,118 --> 00:09:21,745
I like lasagna and I hate Mondays.

182
00:09:21,902 --> 00:09:24,988
His impression is helped by none
of us ever having heard his voice.

183
00:09:25,072 --> 00:09:27,157
I bet he sounds like that, though.

184
00:09:32,151 --> 00:09:35,863
Tonight's special is a
souffle and a filet mignon.

185
00:09:35,874 --> 00:09:38,085
Sorry. These words just got here.

186
00:09:38,168 --> 00:09:39,586
I thought you were the Sheriff.

187
00:09:39,597 --> 00:09:41,891
Lot of jobs, not enough people.

188
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,420
I'm trying to avoid glutton.

189
00:09:43,529 --> 00:09:45,823
And I told you I
didn't want any trouble.

190
00:09:46,541 --> 00:09:48,459
So were you in the Civil War?

191
00:09:48,470 --> 00:09:49,763
Yeah, I fought for the middle.

192
00:09:49,774 --> 00:09:52,277
A couple of days in, I
found a two sided uniform.

193
00:09:52,318 --> 00:09:54,362
Oh, still wearing it, wow.

194
00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:56,394
Eventually, both sides caught on.

195
00:09:56,478 --> 00:09:58,688
So I survived by hiding
under a pile of bodies.

196
00:09:58,976 --> 00:10:01,597
For four years ate
nothing but dead butts.

197
00:10:01,608 --> 00:10:03,527
Oh, well, I'm glad you made it out.

198
00:10:03,538 --> 00:10:06,124
Yeah, it was either that or
live in Atlanta as a woman.

199
00:10:06,279 --> 00:10:07,656
But I'm a different person now.

200
00:10:07,739 --> 00:10:10,659
I wish I'd experienced
more when I was younger.

201
00:10:10,670 --> 00:10:12,547
And look at me now. A widow.

202
00:10:12,702 --> 00:10:14,871
I mean, my students
don't even respect me.

203
00:10:14,955 --> 00:10:17,165
I would have loved
having you as a teacher.

204
00:10:17,249 --> 00:10:20,293
You're smart, pretty and I don't know.

205
00:10:20,377 --> 00:10:23,588
Seeing you today, I felt
more than I have in a while.

206
00:10:23,672 --> 00:10:26,842
That's funny. I felt the
same spark with you, too.

207
00:10:30,512 --> 00:10:32,347
Madeline? From Atlanta?

208
00:10:32,430 --> 00:10:34,850
No, no, that is no longer my truth.

209
00:10:39,441 --> 00:10:41,320
All we need is a little costume repair.

210
00:10:41,398 --> 00:10:42,732
Find our opening. Let's see.

211
00:10:42,816 --> 00:10:46,319
Livery stable, brothel,
three dry goods stores.

212
00:10:46,516 --> 00:10:47,809
Wait a minute. That's it!

213
00:10:50,574 --> 00:10:52,951
It's the ultimate zag holiday.

214
00:10:53,034 --> 00:10:55,996
We'll ride this wave right
onto the streets of Paris.

215
00:10:56,007 --> 00:10:57,967
Get your high waters
on and start selling.

216
00:10:58,123 --> 00:11:00,667
Can I interest you in
checking out our supply, sir?

217
00:11:00,750 --> 00:11:02,686
Picture yourself
waking up in the morning

218
00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:05,130
and climbing into some cold, wet jeans.

219
00:11:05,213 --> 00:11:07,507
Some wet candies for the kids? Mmm?

220
00:11:07,591 --> 00:11:09,926
We supply the wettest
flower in the West.

221
00:11:10,010 --> 00:11:12,262
Oatmeal ready to eat
before it's even opened.

222
00:11:12,345 --> 00:11:14,181
Get your Chris D'Elia hair tonic.

223
00:11:14,264 --> 00:11:16,433
Perfect for your stringiest events.

224
00:11:20,194 --> 00:11:22,321
It's peaceful out here, isn't it?

225
00:11:22,439 --> 00:11:26,735
The wind, the birds, the thousand
Asians dynamiting a mountain.

226
00:11:28,945 --> 00:11:30,530
You know, usually men don't want

227
00:11:30,614 --> 00:11:32,073
anything to do with me.

228
00:11:32,157 --> 00:11:36,244
See, my late husband and I had
eight children, but 12 died at birth.

229
00:11:36,328 --> 00:11:38,538
The mortality rate's 140%.

230
00:11:38,622 --> 00:11:40,790
But the truth is, these past two scenes

231
00:11:40,874 --> 00:11:43,376
are the most fun I've had in a while.

232
00:11:44,127 --> 00:11:45,712
Me too, Lucy.

233
00:11:52,284 --> 00:11:53,626
Sorry, I was holding that.

234
00:11:53,637 --> 00:11:55,347
I didn't want to crack my saddle.

235
00:12:03,146 --> 00:12:05,440
Y'all know if this is
the way to the saloon?

236
00:12:05,451 --> 00:12:08,288
I'm a Pinkerton agent
in need of direction.

237
00:12:11,112 --> 00:12:15,033
And once I find the saloon,
I'm going in buns glazing.

238
00:12:15,044 --> 00:12:17,589
Yippee-ki-yay, mister.

239
00:12:22,661 --> 00:12:25,330
I can't believe this. Lucy,
you're the train robber?

240
00:12:25,502 --> 00:12:26,836
I was sent to bring you in.

241
00:12:26,993 --> 00:12:28,451
You don't understand.

242
00:12:28,462 --> 00:12:30,505
I was only doing it
because of the destruction

243
00:12:30,799 --> 00:12:33,510
your bosses bone saw
brought upon the soldiers.

244
00:12:33,593 --> 00:12:36,805
The stolen money was
redistributed to their families.

245
00:12:36,888 --> 00:12:38,848
Wait, you mean Vivienne's a bad guy?

246
00:12:38,932 --> 00:12:41,685
Name one movie where
the good guy uses a cane.

247
00:12:41,768 --> 00:12:42,894
I don't...

248
00:12:42,905 --> 00:12:45,365
Uh, Michael J. Fox documentary?

249
00:12:45,522 --> 00:12:47,232
Who's Michael J. Fox?

250
00:12:47,387 --> 00:12:48,555
Ah, you don't know him,

251
00:12:48,566 --> 00:12:51,444
but your great, great, great
grandkids are gonna love him.

252
00:12:54,531 --> 00:12:56,616
I don't know about you
fellas, but I'm pretty beat.

253
00:12:56,700 --> 00:13:00,662
Stayed up with a prostitute last
night and got the full service.

254
00:13:00,745 --> 00:13:03,832
- What'd you do?
- Cried in her lap mostly.

255
00:13:03,915 --> 00:13:06,209
The chicks will do
anything in this town.

256
00:13:06,293 --> 00:13:07,794
What did you get up to, Django?

257
00:13:07,877 --> 00:13:10,964
I rode over and said hi to
the other Black guy in town.

258
00:13:11,047 --> 00:13:12,340
Oh yeah? How's he doing?

259
00:13:12,424 --> 00:13:13,967
Not well.

260
00:13:14,050 --> 00:13:16,469
Where you been, Quiet?

261
00:13:16,553 --> 00:13:18,805
We spent all this time
hunting for that train robber,

262
00:13:18,888 --> 00:13:20,181
and you haven't helped one bit.

263
00:13:20,265 --> 00:13:22,600
Interesting you say
that. Hey, quick update.

264
00:13:22,684 --> 00:13:24,936
The school mom's the bad
guy, but I'm in love with her

265
00:13:25,020 --> 00:13:26,980
and want you guys to be cool with it.

266
00:13:27,063 --> 00:13:29,482
Oh, and we're registered
at the wet goods store.

267
00:13:29,566 --> 00:13:31,818
We can't let you get married, Quiet.

268
00:13:31,901 --> 00:13:35,447
You promised we were gonna
have the most epic summer ever!

269
00:13:35,530 --> 00:13:37,866
We still can. You three
will be my groomsmen.

270
00:13:37,949 --> 00:13:39,868
Which one of us is the best man?

271
00:13:39,951 --> 00:13:43,288
Oh, it's uh... it's a friend
from a high school posse.

272
00:13:43,371 --> 00:13:46,374
- Ah, come on.
- That's

273
00:13:46,458 --> 00:13:47,876
Look, I'm sorry. I just...

274
00:13:47,959 --> 00:13:49,878
You never forget your
first posse, you know?

275
00:13:49,961 --> 00:13:52,839
You told us we were the
best posse you ever had.

276
00:13:52,922 --> 00:13:54,632
They say possess posse,

277
00:13:54,716 --> 00:13:57,844
but I can see this one's not
as tight as it used to be.

278
00:13:57,927 --> 00:13:59,262
Okay, well, you know something?

279
00:13:59,345 --> 00:14:01,347
I think this posse stinks.

280
00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:05,643
Sorry. Burp. With this
5,000, we can live like kings

281
00:14:05,727 --> 00:14:09,397
in the most cosmopolitan
city in America, Saint Louis.

282
00:14:14,897 --> 00:14:16,101
So what do you need to show me?

283
00:14:16,112 --> 00:14:18,198
Well, I was drinking
from the stream earlier,

284
00:14:18,281 --> 00:14:19,783
and something caught my eye.

285
00:14:21,326 --> 00:14:22,911
Gold panning. Of course.

286
00:14:22,994 --> 00:14:26,206
Now there's gonna be temptation to
kill each other when we find gold.

287
00:14:26,289 --> 00:14:27,832
So let's agree on a pact.

288
00:14:27,916 --> 00:14:29,209
I'll watch your stuff here

289
00:14:29,292 --> 00:14:31,419
while you turn your
back and start panning.

290
00:14:32,253 --> 00:14:35,381
Oh, and if you hear a metallic
click, it's probably a twig.

291
00:14:35,465 --> 00:14:38,968
I'd counsel you fellas against
laying a claim to these parts

292
00:14:39,052 --> 00:14:42,222
or may I head upstream
hell bent for leather.

293
00:14:42,305 --> 00:14:44,974
Thank you, man without teeth.
We'll bear that in mind.

294
00:14:45,058 --> 00:14:48,311
Just saying there's
gold up in them up hills.

295
00:14:48,853 --> 00:14:51,981
"Them, the?" These
prospectors and their pronouns.

296
00:14:52,065 --> 00:14:53,149
Am I right?

297
00:14:54,567 --> 00:14:56,194
Oh, hey, hey, Mr. Burp.

298
00:14:58,947 --> 00:15:00,532
I can't... hear you.

299
00:15:00,615 --> 00:15:01,991
What's that?

300
00:15:05,036 --> 00:15:06,621
Oh, I get it.

301
00:15:06,704 --> 00:15:09,374
You were making fun of my stutter,

302
00:15:09,457 --> 00:15:12,210
you sadistic son of a bitch!

303
00:15:12,293 --> 00:15:14,045
Ah! No, no! Hey, hey! No, no, stop!

304
00:15:14,129 --> 00:15:16,089
But you were making fun of my stutter.

305
00:15:16,172 --> 00:15:17,257
Of course I was.

306
00:15:17,340 --> 00:15:19,467
We live in an era where you
can make fun of anything.

307
00:15:19,551 --> 00:15:22,762
You can make fun of and and even.

308
00:15:22,846 --> 00:15:25,515
And you can still call a.

309
00:15:25,598 --> 00:15:27,350
So say it all now before they stop you.

310
00:15:27,433 --> 00:15:30,270
- Before who stops you.
- Mostly.

311
00:15:33,857 --> 00:15:36,317
We know you're in there
'cause we already burned down

312
00:15:36,401 --> 00:15:38,862
two of your previously listed addresses.

313
00:15:38,945 --> 00:15:41,072
But I was born in an orphanage.

314
00:15:41,156 --> 00:15:43,616
Yeah, we found out.

315
00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:45,618
Get ready to draw.

316
00:15:48,413 --> 00:15:49,914
I put the sun in the corner.

317
00:15:49,998 --> 00:15:52,417
Sorry, Quiet. You lit
this fuse yourself.

318
00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:53,793
So either walk away

319
00:15:53,877 --> 00:15:56,337
or the undertaker will
have a busy afternoon.

320
00:16:21,988 --> 00:16:24,032
Sheriff West. Why are you helping us?

321
00:16:24,115 --> 00:16:25,575
Told you, when it comes to folks

322
00:16:25,658 --> 00:16:28,661
in this here town, I ain't
got no tolerance for violence.

323
00:16:28,745 --> 00:16:31,331
Plus, you laid me down a fair tip.

324
00:16:31,414 --> 00:16:33,499
Well, thanks. Now, come on, Lucy.

325
00:16:33,583 --> 00:16:36,044
Let's ride off to the inexplicable music

326
00:16:36,127 --> 00:16:38,755
from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

327
00:17:22,286 --> 00:17:23,996
- Ah great. My eyes are closed.

328
00:17:24,133 --> 00:17:26,427
I don't know why that
bothers me, but it does.

329
00:17:30,181 --> 00:17:31,808
Oh no, they're right on us.

330
00:17:31,891 --> 00:17:33,685
Quick, let's head for that canyon.

331
00:17:35,770 --> 00:17:37,272
Hey, do you see that newspaper?

332
00:17:37,355 --> 00:17:38,940
The Osage struck oil.

333
00:17:39,023 --> 00:17:41,985
Boy, I hope one day an
Italian tells their story.

334
00:17:44,153 --> 00:17:45,613
You know, I'm about fed up with these

335
00:17:45,697 --> 00:17:47,156
half-baked schemes of yours.

336
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:49,200
Oh, like you've hit so many bull's eyes.

337
00:17:49,284 --> 00:17:50,785
I said we should do a dog show.

338
00:17:50,868 --> 00:17:53,580
A talking dog and you
wanted to jump through hoops.

339
00:17:53,663 --> 00:17:54,831
Look out, Buffalo Bill.

340
00:17:54,914 --> 00:17:57,083
We got ourselves a
first rate entertainer.

341
00:17:57,166 --> 00:17:58,876
Wilkes Booth would have been on board.

342
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:00,920
Oh yeah, he had a lot
of high minded ideas.

343
00:18:01,004 --> 00:18:03,172
But now that you mention
it, I'm starting to wonder

344
00:18:03,256 --> 00:18:05,717
if we didn't kick the wrong
member out of our improv group.

345
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:07,802
In fact, I bet we
could prop up his corpse

346
00:18:07,885 --> 00:18:10,013
and get a more convincing
performance right now.

347
00:18:10,096 --> 00:18:11,264
You know what? That's it!

348
00:18:18,771 --> 00:18:20,481
Okay, let's just cool off. Take a beat.

349
00:18:20,565 --> 00:18:22,264
Maybe grab a nap in our long johns

350
00:18:22,274 --> 00:18:24,277
that show the outlines of our packages.

351
00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:25,778
Holy crap! Look!

352
00:18:28,031 --> 00:18:29,198
Oh my God!

353
00:18:29,282 --> 00:18:32,118
After this long john
nap, we're gonna be rich.

354
00:18:36,027 --> 00:18:39,197
It's all over, Quiet. You
should just turn me in.

355
00:18:53,473 --> 00:18:55,808
Quick, Holiday. Gather
all the glitter you can

356
00:18:55,892 --> 00:18:59,228
to the inexplicable music from
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

357
00:19:02,357 --> 00:19:03,691
We did it, Quiet!

358
00:19:03,847 --> 00:19:04,973
You know, for a second there,

359
00:19:04,984 --> 00:19:06,778
I thought you were gonna turn me in.

360
00:19:06,789 --> 00:19:10,084
Oh good. Well, I'm sure that'll die
right here and never come up again.

361
00:19:10,165 --> 00:19:11,458
End of the line, Burp.

362
00:19:13,314 --> 00:19:15,275
Oh boss? Hey, perfect timing.

363
00:19:15,286 --> 00:19:16,454
Look who I found.

364
00:19:16,537 --> 00:19:18,164
I know you were on the run.

365
00:19:18,247 --> 00:19:20,416
Ah, I was wondering why
this thing kept beeping.

366
00:19:21,906 --> 00:19:24,868
How about a duel? I
win. You let us go free.

367
00:19:24,879 --> 00:19:26,005
Why would I agree to that?

368
00:19:26,089 --> 00:19:27,715
I'm the one with the aimed gun.

369
00:19:27,726 --> 00:19:29,603
Okay. No. Yeah, that makes sense.

370
00:19:33,284 --> 00:19:34,994
Man, that one was really up there.

371
00:19:37,121 --> 00:19:39,508
Undefeated.

372
00:19:39,519 --> 00:19:41,562
You're safe now, Lucy. And I, for one,

373
00:19:41,646 --> 00:19:44,607
am excited to quit this life
and settle down for good.

374
00:19:44,691 --> 00:19:46,109
Me too, Quiet.

375
00:19:46,192 --> 00:19:48,486
With you, I no longer
feel like I'm staring

376
00:19:48,569 --> 00:19:50,780
at the coals of a dwindling future.

377
00:19:50,863 --> 00:19:52,198
I have a whole life to live.

378
00:19:52,281 --> 00:19:53,991
Full of experiences.

379
00:19:54,075 --> 00:19:55,743
Starting with this one.

380
00:19:55,827 --> 00:19:57,120
Oh, Lucy.

381
00:19:57,203 --> 00:19:59,914
Yours is the only posse I want to be in.

382
00:20:11,801 --> 00:20:13,386
Look at this, Holiday.

383
00:20:13,397 --> 00:20:16,067
I've also got a lead on a
shipment of ostrich feathers.

384
00:20:16,222 --> 00:20:17,682
There'll be no stopping us.

385
00:20:17,765 --> 00:20:20,143
I know. I'm glad we converted
the schoolhouse to this.

386
00:20:20,226 --> 00:20:22,228
I love this DJ.

387
00:20:34,531 --> 00:20:36,742
That night there were 12 ODs

388
00:20:36,753 --> 00:20:39,172
and 24 horse related
drunk driving desks.

389
00:20:39,657 --> 00:20:42,070
Folks forget the real
hazard in the frontier

390
00:20:42,081 --> 00:20:44,250
laying out in disease or bullets.

391
00:20:44,261 --> 00:20:47,598
No, it was mostly them
bisexual nightclubs.

392
00:20:48,071 --> 00:20:50,365
Anyway, that'll be Edith calling.

393
00:20:50,502 --> 00:20:51,795
I'm Wild West.

394
00:20:51,878 --> 00:20:54,673
And I was in this episode a
lot less than you'd expect.

395
00:21:03,168 --> 00:21:08,168
- Synced and corrected by naFraC -
- www.addic7ed.com -