1 00:00:22,414 --> 00:00:24,450 You know that feeling when a guy you like sends you a text 2 00:00:24,450 --> 00:00:27,434 at two o'clock on a Tuesday night asking if he can come and find you, 3 00:00:27,434 --> 00:00:30,434 and you've accidentally made it out like you've just got in yourself, 4 00:00:30,434 --> 00:00:32,478 so you have to get out of bed, drink wine, get in the shower, 5 00:00:32,478 --> 00:00:35,438 shave everything, dig out some Agent Provocateur business - 6 00:00:35,438 --> 00:00:36,474 suspender belt, the whole bit - 7 00:00:36,474 --> 00:00:38,454 and wait by the door until the buzzer goes? 8 00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:44,462 And then you open the door to him, 9 00:00:44,462 --> 00:00:46,482 like you've almost forgotten he's coming over. 10 00:00:46,482 --> 00:00:48,486 Oh. 11 00:00:48,486 --> 00:00:50,442 Hi. Hey. 12 00:00:52,502 --> 00:00:54,426 Hey. 13 00:00:55,470 --> 00:00:56,478 Hey. 14 00:00:57,486 --> 00:01:00,446 And then you get to it immediately. 15 00:01:10,410 --> 00:01:13,426 After some pretty standard bouncing, you realise... 16 00:01:14,490 --> 00:01:17,498 .. he's edging towards your arsehole. 17 00:01:17,498 --> 00:01:19,442 But you're drunk 18 00:01:19,442 --> 00:01:21,458 and he made the effort to come all the way here, 19 00:01:21,458 --> 00:01:23,482 so you let him. He's thrilled. 20 00:01:25,442 --> 00:01:27,454 I'm so thrilled. 21 00:01:31,502 --> 00:01:37,414 And then the next morning, you wake to find him... 22 00:01:37,414 --> 00:01:42,414 fully dressed, sat on the side of the bed, gazing at you. 23 00:01:49,494 --> 00:01:52,458 He says that... Last night was incredible. 24 00:01:52,458 --> 00:01:55,490 Which you think is an overstatement, but then he goes on to say that... 25 00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:57,490 It was particularly special because... 26 00:01:58,494 --> 00:02:00,506 ..I've never managed to actually... 27 00:02:01,506 --> 00:02:03,506 .. up the bum with anyone before. 28 00:02:05,450 --> 00:02:07,450 To be fair, he does have a large penis. 29 00:02:07,450 --> 00:02:11,418 And although it's always been a fantasy of mine, I've... 30 00:02:11,418 --> 00:02:13,430 never found anyone I could do it with. 31 00:02:14,446 --> 00:02:16,418 And then he touches your hair... 32 00:02:21,418 --> 00:02:23,422 .. and thanks you with a genuine, earnest... 33 00:02:26,438 --> 00:02:27,450 Thank you. 34 00:02:29,446 --> 00:02:31,454 It's sort of moving. 35 00:02:31,454 --> 00:02:32,506 Then he kisses you gently. 36 00:02:40,482 --> 00:02:41,498 And then he leaves. 37 00:02:51,418 --> 00:02:53,486 And you spend the rest of the day wondering... 38 00:02:57,434 --> 00:02:59,454 Do I have a massive arsehole? 39 00:03:36,506 --> 00:03:39,478 Wow! Er... this doesn't happen very often, does it? 40 00:03:39,478 --> 00:03:41,430 No. 41 00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:42,478 I su... 42 00:03:42,478 --> 00:03:44,434 I suppose it's... 43 00:03:44,434 --> 00:03:46,490 It's quite rare, yeah. 44 00:03:46,490 --> 00:03:48,422 I hate myself. 45 00:03:49,426 --> 00:03:51,470 Er, are you going to work? 46 00:03:51,470 --> 00:03:55,442 Oh, no, actually... OK, er, this is going to sound crazy 47 00:03:55,442 --> 00:03:57,442 but I think that I should take your number 48 00:03:57,442 --> 00:03:58,470 and I think I should call it, 49 00:03:58,470 --> 00:04:02,426 and I think I should ask you if you want to go out for a drink with me. 50 00:04:03,482 --> 00:04:04,502 Er... 51 00:04:04,502 --> 00:04:07,430 Fuck me! You've got a boyfriend? 52 00:04:07,430 --> 00:04:09,410 Er, no, er... 53 00:04:09,410 --> 00:04:10,494 No, we broke up quite recently, actually. 54 00:04:10,494 --> 00:04:13,474 Oh, my God. I'm so sorry/really pleased. 55 00:04:13,474 --> 00:04:15,418 Er... 56 00:04:15,418 --> 00:04:17,458 How the hell did he manage to fuck that up? 57 00:04:18,506 --> 00:04:20,494 'Power rarely gives up without a fight... 58 00:04:22,462 --> 00:04:25,462 '.. particularly in places where there are divisions of tribe, 59 00:04:25,462 --> 00:04:26,466 'divisions of sect. 60 00:04:28,466 --> 00:04:31,482 'We also know that populism can take dangerous turns. 61 00:04:31,482 --> 00:04:34,454 'And there will be difficult days along the way. 62 00:04:35,474 --> 00:04:39,410 'From the extremism of those who would use democracy 63 00:04:39,410 --> 00:04:42,434 'to deny minority rights to the nationalism that left...' 64 00:04:42,434 --> 00:04:43,498 What are you doing? Nothing! 65 00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:49,470 Harry! 66 00:04:49,470 --> 00:04:52,438 I know what you were doing. I was watching the news. 67 00:04:53,466 --> 00:04:54,490 Really? Yeah. 68 00:04:56,446 --> 00:04:57,498 Really? 69 00:04:57,498 --> 00:04:58,502 Yeah. 70 00:04:59,498 --> 00:05:01,494 What was he talking about, then? 71 00:05:01,494 --> 00:05:04,438 What? Please, I just need to hear this. 72 00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:05,490 What was he talking about? 73 00:05:08,454 --> 00:05:09,458 Iraq. 74 00:05:13,486 --> 00:05:14,506 Don't say anything. 75 00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:18,414 And please don't stop me leaving. 76 00:05:19,438 --> 00:05:20,462 Please don't! OK. 77 00:05:20,462 --> 00:05:21,478 Don't! 78 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:28,430 Look, I've really tried to be there for you through this. 79 00:05:28,430 --> 00:05:30,462 You can't say I haven't tried. 80 00:05:30,462 --> 00:05:33,502 Don't say anything. And please don't contact me 81 00:05:33,502 --> 00:05:37,418 or turn up at my house drunk in your underwear. It won't work this time. 82 00:05:37,418 --> 00:05:38,422 It will. 83 00:05:40,414 --> 00:05:41,486 I'm taking that posh shampoo. 84 00:05:46,466 --> 00:05:47,506 He was talking about democ... 85 00:05:49,454 --> 00:05:50,462 Oh, he was just... 86 00:05:52,434 --> 00:05:55,474 .. really kind and supportive with my work. 87 00:05:55,474 --> 00:05:58,446 He'd cook all the time, run baths, hoover. 88 00:05:58,446 --> 00:06:00,434 He'd laugh at all of my jokes. 89 00:06:00,434 --> 00:06:02,490 He was really great with my family, my friends loved him. 90 00:06:02,490 --> 00:06:04,498 Plus, he was really fucking affectionate. 91 00:06:10,430 --> 00:06:12,498 Sounds like a dickhead. Yeah. 92 00:06:12,498 --> 00:06:16,462 So, was that, like, "You CAN have my number," or...? What are we...? 93 00:06:16,462 --> 00:06:18,498 Yes. Yeah, I guess that's a yes. 94 00:06:18,498 --> 00:06:20,490 Oh, my gosh. Great. Er... 95 00:06:23,462 --> 00:06:25,426 Put that in there. 96 00:06:27,450 --> 00:06:29,498 And I'll be sure to treat you like a nasty little bitch. 97 00:06:32,422 --> 00:06:33,482 Er, that was a joke. Oh, no, I know. 98 00:06:33,482 --> 00:06:35,478 I know! OK. I was, like, "Oh!" 99 00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:38,462 OK. Great, wow! Er... 100 00:06:38,462 --> 00:06:40,426 I'll buzz you, then? 101 00:06:45,430 --> 00:06:47,430 I can't stop smiling. Sorry, I... 102 00:06:47,430 --> 00:06:48,470 It's OK. 103 00:06:48,470 --> 00:06:50,422 I'll go. 104 00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:10,478 Thank you for coming in today. 105 00:07:10,478 --> 00:07:13,422 We really appreciate you considering us 106 00:07:13,422 --> 00:07:15,446 for your small business start-up loan. 107 00:07:15,446 --> 00:07:16,498 No problem. 108 00:07:16,498 --> 00:07:18,442 I've read your application form. 109 00:07:18,442 --> 00:07:20,438 Thank you. It was... 110 00:07:20,438 --> 00:07:21,474 funny. Oh. 111 00:07:23,454 --> 00:07:25,442 OK, that wasn't my intention, but... 112 00:07:25,442 --> 00:07:27,418 As you are probably aware, 113 00:07:27,418 --> 00:07:30,462 we haven't had the opportunity to support many - 114 00:07:30,462 --> 00:07:33,410 any - women-led businesses since the... 115 00:07:33,410 --> 00:07:35,410 Sexual harassment case. 116 00:07:35,410 --> 00:07:37,418 The sexual harassment case. 117 00:07:37,418 --> 00:07:38,422 Yes. 118 00:07:40,414 --> 00:07:42,478 Are you all right? Oh, yeah, sorry. I just, er... 119 00:07:42,478 --> 00:07:45,438 I ran from the station, so I'm just a bit hot. 120 00:07:45,438 --> 00:07:47,458 I'm really excited about... Water? 121 00:07:47,458 --> 00:07:48,502 No, thanks. I'm fine. 122 00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:51,422 Actually, yeah, water would be great. If I could... 123 00:07:51,422 --> 00:07:55,426 Sure. There are a couple of details that we need to iron out, 124 00:07:55,426 --> 00:07:58,494 and one or two bits and pieces I'm going to need to see some more on. 125 00:07:58,494 --> 00:08:00,418 It says in here 126 00:08:00,418 --> 00:08:03,434 that you opened a business with your partner... Mm-hm. 127 00:08:06,422 --> 00:08:08,502 I'm sorry, that kind of thing won't get you very far here any more. 128 00:08:08,502 --> 00:08:11,498 Oh, no, sorry. I thought I had a top on underneath. 129 00:08:11,498 --> 00:08:14,506 Yeah, OK. No, seriously. In this case, genuine accident. 130 00:08:14,506 --> 00:08:17,426 I can see, given our history, why you might think... 131 00:08:17,426 --> 00:08:19,446 No! Seriously, I wasn't trying to. I was hot. 132 00:08:19,446 --> 00:08:21,422 I take this kind of thing very seriously. 133 00:08:21,422 --> 00:08:23,446 I'm not trying to shag you! Look at yourself! 134 00:08:32,466 --> 00:08:34,442 Please leave. 135 00:08:34,442 --> 00:08:35,478 Oh... 136 00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:38,486 No, you don't understand. I NEED this... 137 00:08:38,486 --> 00:08:41,426 I need this loan. Please, just leave. 138 00:08:55,438 --> 00:08:56,502 Perv. Slut. 139 00:08:56,502 --> 00:08:58,462 Wow! 140 00:08:58,462 --> 00:09:01,474 'The lecture will commence shortly.' 141 00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:13,482 My sister. She's uptight and beautiful and probably anorexic, 142 00:09:13,482 --> 00:09:16,446 but clothes look awesome on her, so... 143 00:09:16,446 --> 00:09:18,410 You're almost late. 144 00:09:18,410 --> 00:09:19,450 Had to do a flash poo in Pret. 145 00:09:19,450 --> 00:09:21,438 Oh, Christ. Did you wash your hands? 146 00:09:21,438 --> 00:09:22,446 Of course not. 147 00:09:23,446 --> 00:09:26,470 Oh, my God! You are disgusting! Fucking hell. 148 00:09:26,470 --> 00:09:30,410 Of course I washed my hands. It's not like I grew up without a mother. 149 00:09:32,458 --> 00:09:34,458 Heard from Dad? No. 150 00:09:36,450 --> 00:09:38,474 Dad's way of coping with two motherless daughters 151 00:09:38,474 --> 00:09:40,462 was to buy us tickets to feminist lectures, 152 00:09:40,462 --> 00:09:43,426 start fucking our godmother and eventually stop calling. 153 00:09:46,462 --> 00:09:49,470 You look tired. Thanks. I've been sleeping really well recently. 154 00:09:57,418 --> 00:09:58,422 Shit! 155 00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:06,430 I'm wearing the top that she lost years ago, so... 156 00:10:06,430 --> 00:10:08,422 this is going to be tense. 157 00:10:08,422 --> 00:10:10,478 Do you want to take your coat off? No. 158 00:10:14,482 --> 00:10:16,414 Oh, sorry. Thanks. 159 00:10:20,414 --> 00:10:21,438 So, any luck... 160 00:10:21,438 --> 00:10:23,478 Oh, God, can we just have two seconds... I was going to ask 161 00:10:23,478 --> 00:10:25,490 about the cafe. I don't want to talk about it yet. 162 00:10:25,490 --> 00:10:27,442 We won't talk, then. Fine. 163 00:10:29,454 --> 00:10:31,454 Hair looks nice. Oh, fuck off. 164 00:10:34,450 --> 00:10:37,482 The only thing harder than having to tell your super-high-powered, 165 00:10:37,482 --> 00:10:39,466 perfect, anorexic, rich super-sister 166 00:10:39,466 --> 00:10:40,494 that you've run out of money 167 00:10:40,494 --> 00:10:43,490 is having to ask her to bail you out. 168 00:10:49,474 --> 00:10:51,418 I'm just going to ask her. 169 00:10:53,466 --> 00:10:55,466 I'm just going to ask her. 170 00:10:55,466 --> 00:10:57,490 I'm just going to ask her. I'm just going to come... 171 00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,434 Do you need to borrow money? No! 172 00:10:59,434 --> 00:11:01,414 I can't do it. I can't do it, I can't do it. 173 00:11:01,414 --> 00:11:02,426 I can't do it. 174 00:11:02,426 --> 00:11:03,502 So business is good, then? Yeah. 175 00:11:03,502 --> 00:11:05,426 It's good. It's really good. 176 00:11:05,426 --> 00:11:07,482 It's really, really good. Yeah, it's really good. 177 00:11:07,482 --> 00:11:09,498 Sounds like it's really good. 178 00:11:09,498 --> 00:11:11,414 It is. 179 00:11:12,462 --> 00:11:14,430 Hey. Hey. 180 00:11:16,474 --> 00:11:19,430 Can I get you anything? No, thanks, I'm good. 181 00:12:05,482 --> 00:12:07,474 Are you sure I can't get you anything at all? 182 00:12:07,474 --> 00:12:09,458 Is Harry helping? 183 00:12:09,458 --> 00:12:11,426 We broke up. 184 00:12:11,426 --> 00:12:13,494 What? Again? 185 00:12:13,494 --> 00:12:16,414 If you see him, I'm a wreck, OK? 186 00:12:16,414 --> 00:12:20,434 God! Just don't get drunk and scream through his letterbox again. 187 00:12:20,434 --> 00:12:22,430 Wow! Thanks for the vote of confidence. 188 00:12:22,430 --> 00:12:24,462 Don't get drunk and shit in your sink again. 189 00:12:24,462 --> 00:12:26,474 When are you going to stop bringing that up? 190 00:12:26,474 --> 00:12:29,446 When you do something better. 191 00:12:29,446 --> 00:12:32,438 I have two degrees, a husband and a Burberry coat. 192 00:12:32,438 --> 00:12:35,486 You shat in a sink. 193 00:12:35,486 --> 00:12:36,498 Oh. 194 00:12:36,498 --> 00:12:39,450 Hi. Thank you. No problem. 195 00:12:41,418 --> 00:12:43,410 Nothing is ever going to be better. 196 00:12:48,482 --> 00:12:51,490 I swear there are pants that give you thrush. 197 00:12:51,490 --> 00:12:53,414 What are yours made from? 198 00:12:54,454 --> 00:12:55,470 Don't know. 199 00:12:57,474 --> 00:12:59,414 I need to get sexy pants. 200 00:12:59,414 --> 00:13:02,446 I hate my body, I hate my body, I hate my body, I hate my body. 201 00:13:02,446 --> 00:13:05,446 Fucking last-minute bastard trendy parties. 202 00:13:05,446 --> 00:13:07,450 Why do we do it to ourselves? 203 00:13:10,454 --> 00:13:13,422 Oh, my God. Definitely not. That does nothing for you. 204 00:13:13,422 --> 00:13:14,438 I hate that. 205 00:13:16,458 --> 00:13:17,482 What? 206 00:13:17,482 --> 00:13:20,446 These are MY clothes, Boo. I've been wearing these all day. 207 00:13:21,446 --> 00:13:23,430 Oh, God. 208 00:13:23,430 --> 00:13:24,462 Were you wearing your coat? 209 00:13:24,462 --> 00:13:26,414 Yes. But... 210 00:13:27,454 --> 00:13:28,470 Nothing here looked nice, 211 00:13:28,470 --> 00:13:30,474 so I thought I'd wear what I was wearing anyway. 212 00:13:30,474 --> 00:13:31,506 Are you joking? 213 00:13:31,506 --> 00:13:33,478 Are YOU joking? 214 00:13:33,478 --> 00:13:34,494 Yes. 215 00:13:36,462 --> 00:13:38,458 Oh, my... It's not really that bad at all. 216 00:13:38,458 --> 00:13:40,438 Why didn't you tell me? I love you. 217 00:13:40,438 --> 00:13:42,458 I'll buy... I've got to get a whole new outfit now. 218 00:13:42,458 --> 00:13:43,478 I'll buy you pants. 219 00:13:43,478 --> 00:13:46,422 I'll buy you sexy pants. I've been so many places today! 220 00:13:46,422 --> 00:13:48,450 I'll buy you sexy pants! Fuck off. 221 00:13:48,450 --> 00:13:50,474 I'm sorry. I think it's a lovely dress. 222 00:13:52,422 --> 00:13:55,418 Ugh! I mean, you really shouldn't wear such cheap materials. 223 00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:57,418 They don't let your fanny breathe. 224 00:13:59,478 --> 00:14:00,506 I know. 225 00:14:03,414 --> 00:14:04,490 Gosh, look at you all. 226 00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:12,462 Thank you so much for coming to Women Speak, 227 00:14:12,462 --> 00:14:16,438 opening women's mouths since 1998. 228 00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:19,486 Before we begin, I would like to ask you a question. 229 00:14:20,498 --> 00:14:23,454 I don't know about you... 230 00:14:23,454 --> 00:14:25,430 but I need some reassurance. 231 00:14:27,474 --> 00:14:31,422 So I pose the question to the women in this room today. 232 00:14:33,418 --> 00:14:35,418 Please raise your hands... 233 00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:38,474 .. if you would trade... 234 00:14:38,474 --> 00:14:41,466 five years of your life... 235 00:14:43,458 --> 00:14:46,454 .. for the so-called perfect body. 236 00:15:09,478 --> 00:15:12,466 Won't you get cold? Nah, I've got really hairy nipples. 237 00:15:17,486 --> 00:15:19,422 What? 238 00:15:21,450 --> 00:15:24,414 Fuck! Oh, fuck! What was that? 239 00:15:24,414 --> 00:15:26,410 Jesus! A fucking hug! 240 00:15:26,410 --> 00:15:27,478 Well, why the fuck did you do that? 241 00:15:27,478 --> 00:15:29,486 That's terrifying. Never do that again. 242 00:15:29,486 --> 00:15:31,418 I was just trying to... 243 00:15:38,490 --> 00:15:41,498 Are you OK? Yeah. 244 00:15:46,490 --> 00:15:48,454 Do you want to go for a drink, or...? 245 00:15:48,454 --> 00:15:50,482 I've got plans. OK, fine. Sure. 246 00:15:50,482 --> 00:15:52,478 See you next time, Women Speak, then. 247 00:15:57,414 --> 00:15:58,474 Do you want to go for a drink? 248 00:16:08,490 --> 00:16:12,414 My sister blows glass. She has done for a long time. 249 00:16:12,414 --> 00:16:13,446 I've never been in a fight. 250 00:16:13,446 --> 00:16:15,502 Well, I've been in a fight. Never been punched in the face. 251 00:16:15,502 --> 00:16:17,438 I've been punched in the leg. 252 00:16:17,438 --> 00:16:19,454 And someone once threw some punch in my face. 253 00:16:19,454 --> 00:16:22,434 So, my colours this season are sort of brown, mainly. 254 00:16:22,434 --> 00:16:25,458 But, like, you know, I wouldn't say no to a maroon. 255 00:16:25,458 --> 00:16:27,482 I wouldn't, like, jump down the throat of someone 256 00:16:27,482 --> 00:16:29,494 wearing something blue. It's just not for me. 257 00:16:29,494 --> 00:16:31,410 So... 258 00:16:31,410 --> 00:16:34,422 I'm going to go for a wazz. You... OK. 259 00:16:40,486 --> 00:16:44,430 Same again, while I'm up? Or perhaps, like, a little cocky-tail? 260 00:16:44,430 --> 00:16:45,466 Or, like, a nice shot? 261 00:16:45,466 --> 00:16:48,410 Oh, er... yeah, or we could just go back to mine. 262 00:16:48,410 --> 00:16:50,454 Wow! Er, thanks. 263 00:16:50,454 --> 00:16:53,506 Er, I've actually got work tomorrow, but, er, another drink here... 264 00:16:53,506 --> 00:16:56,438 Or we could go back to yours. Got to be up really early. 265 00:16:56,438 --> 00:16:58,498 I'll get you a cab in the morning. That's ridiculous! My God! 266 00:16:58,498 --> 00:17:00,490 OK, what the fuck is your problem? 267 00:17:02,434 --> 00:17:04,482 Oh, er... nothing. 268 00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:06,482 I, er... I-I like you. 269 00:17:06,482 --> 00:17:08,486 OK, you're a dick. 270 00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:10,426 What's going on? 271 00:17:11,434 --> 00:17:12,454 You're pathetic. 272 00:17:13,486 --> 00:17:16,450 Wait... Don't follow me. 273 00:17:16,450 --> 00:17:17,454 I-I wasn't. 274 00:17:18,474 --> 00:17:20,442 Y-You dropped this. 275 00:17:25,454 --> 00:17:27,422 Er... 276 00:17:40,418 --> 00:17:41,442 Come on. 277 00:17:56,458 --> 00:17:57,478 Are you OK? 278 00:18:05,434 --> 00:18:06,466 Are YOU OK? 279 00:18:08,494 --> 00:18:10,422 Sad face. 280 00:18:12,418 --> 00:18:13,430 I'm fine. 281 00:18:23,410 --> 00:18:24,462 Oh... 282 00:18:25,466 --> 00:18:27,506 You're such a lovely man. 283 00:18:33,482 --> 00:18:35,498 OK. Thank you. 284 00:18:37,474 --> 00:18:39,418 Stay there, stay there. You OK? 285 00:18:41,498 --> 00:18:42,506 Hey. 286 00:18:45,434 --> 00:18:48,454 Do you... Do you want to come home with me? 287 00:18:48,454 --> 00:18:49,474 What? 288 00:18:49,474 --> 00:18:51,494 No way! 289 00:18:51,494 --> 00:18:54,410 You naughty boy. 290 00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,426 Ugh! 291 00:19:03,426 --> 00:19:06,422 Ooh! Sing a song, Boo-Boo. 292 00:19:25,474 --> 00:19:26,506 Hey, come here. 293 00:19:28,418 --> 00:19:31,430 Let's never ask anyone for anything. They don't get it. 294 00:19:32,470 --> 00:19:34,418 Deal. Deal. 295 00:19:36,502 --> 00:19:37,506 Fuck it. 296 00:19:40,454 --> 00:19:42,410 This is totally fine. 297 00:19:43,498 --> 00:19:46,442 Hello. Open! 298 00:19:55,414 --> 00:19:56,422 All right, Dad? 299 00:19:57,470 --> 00:19:58,474 What's going on? 300 00:20:00,414 --> 00:20:01,498 Oh, I'm... I'm absolutely fine. 301 00:20:05,490 --> 00:20:06,494 I just, er... 302 00:20:09,462 --> 00:20:10,466 Yeah? 303 00:20:12,490 --> 00:20:15,418 Oh, it's nothing. It doesn't... 304 00:20:16,438 --> 00:20:19,466 It's... You know, it's nearly two o'clock in the morning. 305 00:20:23,474 --> 00:20:25,502 Yeah, OK. I'm... I don't want to... 306 00:20:25,502 --> 00:20:27,450 I'm going to... 307 00:20:27,450 --> 00:20:29,490 It was... 308 00:20:29,490 --> 00:20:30,506 Oh, fuck it. 309 00:20:30,506 --> 00:20:35,506 I have a horrible feeling that I'm a greedy, perverted, selfish, 310 00:20:35,506 --> 00:20:39,466 apathetic, cynical, depraved, 311 00:20:39,466 --> 00:20:43,438 morally bankrupt woman, who can't even call herself a feminist. 312 00:20:45,414 --> 00:20:46,506 Well, er... 313 00:20:52,454 --> 00:20:54,462 You get all that from your mother. 314 00:21:06,422 --> 00:21:08,418 Good one. 315 00:21:08,418 --> 00:21:10,498 Er, I'm going to call you a cab, darling. 316 00:21:10,498 --> 00:21:12,490 And, er... 317 00:21:12,490 --> 00:21:14,430 please don't go upstairs. 318 00:21:47,410 --> 00:21:49,498 To be fair, she's not an evil stepmother. 319 00:21:51,422 --> 00:21:52,466 She's just a cunt. 320 00:21:55,430 --> 00:21:56,450 Hi. 321 00:21:57,450 --> 00:21:59,446 Darling, I thought that must be you. 322 00:21:59,446 --> 00:22:02,422 Everything all right? Yeah, I just thought I'd swing by. 323 00:22:02,422 --> 00:22:04,434 Oh, how lovely. Lucky us. 324 00:22:04,434 --> 00:22:06,502 Don't worry - Dad's already booking me a taxi. 325 00:22:12,466 --> 00:22:13,486 What are you doing? 326 00:22:13,486 --> 00:22:17,474 Oh, painting. I find the night-times very... 327 00:22:17,474 --> 00:22:19,486 peaceful. Usually. 328 00:22:22,414 --> 00:22:23,458 Oh, warming up. 329 00:22:29,506 --> 00:22:32,490 Look, I know it's not really my place, but are you OK? 330 00:22:32,490 --> 00:22:35,442 Everyone's been really worried. Poor fucker. 331 00:22:35,442 --> 00:22:39,506 Yes, she's actually an expression of how women are subtle warriors. 332 00:22:39,506 --> 00:22:41,422 Strong at heart. 333 00:22:41,422 --> 00:22:43,466 We don't have to use muscular force to get what we want. 334 00:22:43,466 --> 00:22:45,446 We just use our... Tits. 335 00:22:45,446 --> 00:22:47,426 .. innate femininity. 336 00:22:48,462 --> 00:22:50,474 Tits don't get you anywhere these days. 337 00:22:50,474 --> 00:22:51,478 Trust me. 338 00:22:53,462 --> 00:22:55,450 It's very valuable, actually. 339 00:22:55,450 --> 00:22:57,446 How much? Thousands. 340 00:22:57,446 --> 00:22:59,458 Oh. Can I have it? 341 00:22:59,458 --> 00:23:01,450 No. 342 00:23:09,446 --> 00:23:10,502 What's that? 343 00:23:10,502 --> 00:23:12,454 Oh, er... 344 00:23:12,454 --> 00:23:13,470 my self-portrait. 345 00:23:21,410 --> 00:23:22,414 Oh. 346 00:23:23,466 --> 00:23:26,502 'Right, it's here.' Ooh, I think I can hear your dad. 347 00:23:29,442 --> 00:23:30,502 'Cab's here!' 348 00:23:30,502 --> 00:23:33,494 Thanks! Aw. Nice of him. 349 00:23:37,418 --> 00:23:38,442 Bye. Bye. 350 00:23:39,506 --> 00:23:41,418 Er... 351 00:23:41,418 --> 00:23:43,418 Please look after yourself. 352 00:23:43,418 --> 00:23:45,466 You really do look ghastly, darling. 353 00:23:54,414 --> 00:23:56,422 Oh, cafe, eh? Yeah. 354 00:23:57,486 --> 00:23:58,490 On your own? 355 00:24:00,430 --> 00:24:01,506 Er, kind of. 356 00:24:01,506 --> 00:24:04,478 Kind of? Go on. 357 00:24:04,478 --> 00:24:07,418 It's... It's quite a funny story, actually. 358 00:24:07,418 --> 00:24:09,450 Oh, no, that's good. It'll keep me going. 359 00:24:09,450 --> 00:24:10,454 Shoot. 360 00:24:12,426 --> 00:24:16,422 I opened the cafe with my friend Boo. Cute name. Yeah. 361 00:24:16,422 --> 00:24:19,478 Yeah, she's dead now. She accidentally killed herself. 362 00:24:19,478 --> 00:24:22,442 Wasn't her intention, but it wasn't a total accident. 363 00:24:22,442 --> 00:24:25,442 She didn't actually think she'd die. She just... 364 00:24:25,442 --> 00:24:28,410 found out that her boyfriend fucked someone else 365 00:24:28,410 --> 00:24:30,478 and wanted to punish him by ending up in hospital, 366 00:24:30,478 --> 00:24:32,474 not letting him visit her for a bit. 367 00:24:32,474 --> 00:24:35,422 She decided to walk into a busy cycle lane, 368 00:24:35,422 --> 00:24:38,430 wanting to get tangled in a bike - break a finger, maybe. 369 00:24:38,430 --> 00:24:40,498 As it turns out, bikes go fast and flip you into the road. 370 00:24:40,498 --> 00:24:44,426 Three people died. She was such a dick. 371 00:24:48,442 --> 00:24:51,426 So, yeah. Kind of on my own.