1 00:00:06,003 --> 00:00:09,964 Sail by AWOLNATION 2 00:00:54,290 --> 00:00:55,590 I think my period's coming. 3 00:01:03,937 --> 00:01:04,940 Hi. 4 00:01:04,941 --> 00:01:07,857 Are you all right? What's happened? Are you hurt? 5 00:01:07,858 --> 00:01:08,939 No. Oh, good. 6 00:01:10,911 --> 00:01:11,926 Nice haircut. 7 00:01:11,927 --> 00:01:12,940 It's better. 8 00:01:16,893 --> 00:01:17,900 Can I come in? 9 00:01:17,901 --> 00:01:19,852 Why didn't you text? 10 00:01:19,853 --> 00:01:20,903 Well, I just thought I'd pop by. 11 00:01:20,904 --> 00:01:23,913 Tell the truth. I need to speak to Martin. Martin? 12 00:01:23,914 --> 00:01:26,871 Martin. Martin! Why on earth would you want to speak to... 13 00:01:26,872 --> 00:01:30,881 Martin? Hello! Hello! My wife in my study! hello! 14 00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:31,929 Give me two. 15 00:01:31,930 --> 00:01:34,950 Gang bangs, Asian, I'd put a tenner on it. 16 00:01:34,951 --> 00:01:36,903 Finished. 17 00:01:36,904 --> 00:01:38,919 Well, hello, you. 18 00:01:40,917 --> 00:01:42,894 She wants to talk to you about something. 19 00:01:42,895 --> 00:01:44,879 Oh, well, it must be my lucky day. 20 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:47,886 You said she only likes to talk to people she fancies. 21 00:01:48,891 --> 00:01:49,895 Ergh. 22 00:01:49,896 --> 00:01:51,907 Can you leave us? Why? 23 00:01:51,908 --> 00:01:54,888 He's organising your surprise birthday party. 24 00:01:57,866 --> 00:02:01,904 A... You know I hate sur... OK. 25 00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:05,947 I have a week to organise that now. 26 00:02:05,948 --> 00:02:07,868 Best of luck. 27 00:02:07,869 --> 00:02:08,880 Nice top. 28 00:02:08,881 --> 00:02:09,885 Ergh. 29 00:02:09,886 --> 00:02:13,885 Thanks. Do you deal in sculptures as well as paintings and papier mache? 30 00:02:13,886 --> 00:02:15,894 Depends on the quality of the piece. 31 00:02:20,902 --> 00:02:22,906 Fuck me! 32 00:02:22,907 --> 00:02:25,946 Hm... What a pair! I know, right? 33 00:02:27,924 --> 00:02:28,946 Where d'you get this? 34 00:02:28,947 --> 00:02:32,961 Oh, just a... Stole it from a market. 35 00:02:32,962 --> 00:02:34,933 It's quite a piece. 36 00:02:34,934 --> 00:02:36,918 Who's the artist? 37 00:02:36,919 --> 00:02:39,921 Just a... ..market artist. 38 00:02:39,922 --> 00:02:41,883 Huh. 39 00:02:41,884 --> 00:02:44,876 If I sell it, I take 10%. Deal? 40 00:02:44,877 --> 00:02:45,889 Deal. 41 00:02:45,890 --> 00:02:48,954 OK, well, I'll get her photographed now. 42 00:02:48,955 --> 00:02:50,970 Don't tell Claire, please. 43 00:02:50,971 --> 00:02:52,899 Or what? 44 00:02:52,900 --> 00:02:55,888 Or I'll... I'll... 45 00:02:55,889 --> 00:02:57,899 You've got nothing on me, princess. 46 00:02:58,934 --> 00:03:01,898 Or I'll tell her you were watching gang bangs. 47 00:03:02,959 --> 00:03:04,922 Please don't do that again. 48 00:03:07,977 --> 00:03:09,935 I wasn't, by the way. 49 00:03:23,934 --> 00:03:24,940 Ergh. 50 00:03:28,972 --> 00:03:30,955 Disappointing. 51 00:03:30,956 --> 00:03:34,893 Erm... Where did you get that? 52 00:03:34,894 --> 00:03:35,915 I brought it with me. 53 00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:37,938 No, you didn't. Give it back. 54 00:03:37,939 --> 00:03:39,918 Tight. 55 00:03:39,919 --> 00:03:40,961 Patch things up with Harry? 56 00:03:40,962 --> 00:03:43,990 Yeah, we're, erm... We're engaged, so... 57 00:03:43,991 --> 00:03:45,904 God! What? 58 00:03:45,905 --> 00:03:46,966 No, we're not engaged! 59 00:03:46,967 --> 00:03:49,989 No, he's back at the flat packing up all his stuff again. 60 00:03:49,990 --> 00:03:50,990 Oh. 61 00:03:50,991 --> 00:03:52,966 I'm sorry. 62 00:03:52,967 --> 00:03:55,991 He really... .. used to make you laugh. 63 00:03:55,992 --> 00:03:58,920 He also used to say things like... 64 00:03:58,921 --> 00:03:59,990 You're not like other girls. 65 00:03:59,991 --> 00:04:02,931 You can... .. keep up. 66 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:05,947 I like Harry. 67 00:04:05,948 --> 00:04:06,982 I liked his songs. 68 00:04:17,996 --> 00:04:20,992 I admire how much Harry commits to our break-ups. 69 00:04:24,974 --> 00:04:26,938 I mean, this is a new detail, 70 00:04:26,939 --> 00:04:28,936 but he does usually go the extra mile. 71 00:04:28,937 --> 00:04:31,919 A few times, he's even cleaned the whole flat. 72 00:04:36,926 --> 00:04:38,941 Like it's a crime scene. 73 00:04:38,942 --> 00:04:40,004 I've considered timing a break-up 74 00:04:40,005 --> 00:04:42,930 for when the flat needs a bit of a going over. 75 00:04:49,966 --> 00:04:51,940 I don't think this is working. 76 00:04:53,999 --> 00:04:56,007 What? 77 00:04:56,008 --> 00:04:59,011 But he always leaves... 78 00:05:04,003 --> 00:05:07,005 .. him to come back for. 79 00:05:07,006 --> 00:05:10,024 Got to think about all the people I can have sex with now. 80 00:05:11,977 --> 00:05:14,017 I'm not obsessed with sex, 81 00:05:14,018 --> 00:05:16,990 I just can't stop thinking about it. 82 00:05:16,991 --> 00:05:18,991 The performance of it. 83 00:05:18,992 --> 00:05:20,983 The awkwardness of it. 84 00:05:20,984 --> 00:05:22,992 The drama of it. 85 00:05:22,993 --> 00:05:28,932 The moment you realise someone wants your body. 86 00:05:29,959 --> 00:05:31,024 Not so much the feeling of it. 87 00:05:33,972 --> 00:05:36,980 Probably got about 48 hours before Harry comes back. 88 00:05:39,938 --> 00:05:40,947 I should get on it. 89 00:05:41,970 --> 00:05:44,017 I took half an hour trying to look nice 90 00:05:44,018 --> 00:05:46,983 and I ended up looking amazing. 91 00:05:46,984 --> 00:05:48,017 Just one of those days. 92 00:05:48,018 --> 00:05:50,992 Gorgeous, fresh-faced, new top, little bit sexy, 93 00:05:50,993 --> 00:05:55,023 on my way to open my cafe and... Oh, God. 94 00:05:55,024 --> 00:05:57,955 Yeah, you check me out, chub-chub, 95 00:05:57,956 --> 00:05:59,970 because it's never gonna happen. 96 00:05:59,971 --> 00:06:02,027 Oh, God, he can't believe how attractive I am. 97 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:05,009 Kind of worried I'm going to make a sex offender out of the poor guy. 98 00:06:05,010 --> 00:06:07,033 Here we go. This better be good. Here we go. 99 00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:08,974 Hooker slag. 100 00:06:10,952 --> 00:06:11,978 Oi! 101 00:06:25,981 --> 00:06:26,990 Oh. 102 00:06:28,006 --> 00:06:29,043 Dropped my cucumber. 103 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:36,021 Just dropped my... 104 00:06:41,002 --> 00:06:43,977 Erm... Could I get a cheese sandwich to go, please? 105 00:06:43,978 --> 00:06:44,981 Sure. 106 00:06:48,045 --> 00:06:54,018 That'll be, er, £12.55, please. 107 00:06:54,019 --> 00:06:55,978 London, eh? 108 00:06:55,979 --> 00:06:57,000 Thanks. 109 00:07:02,045 --> 00:07:04,977 Where do I recognise her? Is she famous? 110 00:07:09,971 --> 00:07:11,037 Boo's death hit the papers. 111 00:07:11,038 --> 00:07:14,008 Local cafe girl gets hit by bike and a car 112 00:07:14,009 --> 00:07:15,996 and another bike. 113 00:07:15,997 --> 00:07:18,012 Er, no. She, er... She used to work here. 114 00:07:18,013 --> 00:07:19,015 Oh. 115 00:07:21,995 --> 00:07:23,998 I'm sorry, I don't have any change. 116 00:07:32,050 --> 00:07:35,979 The next man who walks in here is getting ridden to death. 117 00:07:37,985 --> 00:07:40,037 Dad! Hi. 118 00:07:40,038 --> 00:07:41,065 Not ideal. 119 00:07:41,066 --> 00:07:46,024 Erm... How are you, eh, darling? Erm... 120 00:07:47,056 --> 00:07:48,995 You busy? 121 00:07:48,996 --> 00:07:50,004 A bit. 122 00:07:50,005 --> 00:07:51,050 Well, I won't keep you, er... 123 00:07:52,994 --> 00:07:56,036 I just wanted to talk about, er, you know, when you... 124 00:07:56,037 --> 00:07:58,057 When you dropped in the other night. 125 00:07:58,058 --> 00:08:01,987 OK. I can't help thinking that I... 126 00:08:01,988 --> 00:08:03,044 We, er... Yeah? 127 00:08:03,045 --> 00:08:04,983 I know that we, er... 128 00:08:06,026 --> 00:08:08,028 .. don't have much of a chance to, er... 129 00:08:09,995 --> 00:08:11,076 Did you take the sculpture? 130 00:08:11,077 --> 00:08:12,994 Did you, erm... 131 00:08:14,024 --> 00:08:15,984 .. take the sculpture? 132 00:08:15,985 --> 00:08:16,990 Did you take it? 133 00:08:19,986 --> 00:08:21,001 No. 134 00:08:21,002 --> 00:08:22,005 What sculpture? 135 00:08:22,006 --> 00:08:24,998 Oh, right, fine, good. 136 00:08:24,999 --> 00:08:27,026 Good, you said no and... 137 00:08:28,064 --> 00:08:30,053 .. that means I can go. 138 00:08:30,054 --> 00:08:31,083 All right, great. 139 00:08:33,071 --> 00:08:37,031 Oh... Are you ha... Are you healthy? 140 00:08:42,013 --> 00:08:45,053 Hey. Do you do, like, hot organic-y food? 141 00:08:45,054 --> 00:08:47,010 Of course. 142 00:08:47,011 --> 00:08:48,076 What would you like? 143 00:08:48,077 --> 00:08:51,031 Erm... Like, risotto. Yeah. 144 00:08:51,032 --> 00:08:52,996 Sure. Grab a seat. 145 00:09:13,099 --> 00:09:15,006 Hey. 146 00:09:16,076 --> 00:09:17,079 Hi. 147 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:19,013 Hey. 148 00:09:19,014 --> 00:09:20,017 Hey. 149 00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:21,059 It's nice to see you. 150 00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:22,093 You, too. 151 00:09:22,094 --> 00:09:24,086 Fucked me up the arse. 152 00:09:24,087 --> 00:09:26,039 What are you getting? 153 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:28,072 Oh, just these. For my... 154 00:09:28,073 --> 00:09:30,063 .. tiny, bleeding vagina. 155 00:09:31,074 --> 00:09:32,077 Hot. 156 00:09:32,078 --> 00:09:34,049 You? Stock cubes. 157 00:09:34,050 --> 00:09:35,064 Hot. 158 00:09:36,067 --> 00:09:38,019 I hope it's a light flow. 159 00:09:38,020 --> 00:09:40,091 Oh, it never is. 160 00:09:40,092 --> 00:09:43,102 It never... ..is. 161 00:09:45,042 --> 00:09:48,108 Listen, er, you around later? 162 00:09:48,109 --> 00:09:51,090 Er... Yes, fucking yes, please, yes. 163 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,015 Yes. 164 00:09:53,016 --> 00:09:54,035 Cool. 165 00:09:54,036 --> 00:09:55,042 Cool. 166 00:10:01,091 --> 00:10:03,042 Yes! 167 00:10:03,043 --> 00:10:06,035 I'm so happy with my body now. 168 00:10:06,036 --> 00:10:08,063 I don't have to define myself by how I look 169 00:10:08,064 --> 00:10:11,021 because I've just got a fucking great body. 170 00:10:11,022 --> 00:10:14,049 Yeah, I can do other stuff now! That's so great! 171 00:10:14,050 --> 00:10:16,070 Mike wants to start trying for a baby. 172 00:10:16,071 --> 00:10:18,028 OK. No... 173 00:10:18,029 --> 00:10:20,123 I can't blow this body on a baby, Steph. 174 00:10:20,124 --> 00:10:22,116 I'm going to have to leave him. 175 00:10:23,118 --> 00:10:28,071 Oh, shit. Oh. 176 00:10:28,072 --> 00:10:29,125 That is not hygienic. 177 00:10:29,126 --> 00:10:32,048 Sorry. Oh, gross. 178 00:10:32,049 --> 00:10:33,119 We're leaving now. 179 00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:35,124 I suppose you should meet Hillary. 180 00:10:35,125 --> 00:10:37,077 Two years ago, I... 181 00:10:39,063 --> 00:10:41,090 OK. The most important thing is, if you don't like it, 182 00:10:41,091 --> 00:10:44,040 we can't take it back, OK? OK. 183 00:10:44,041 --> 00:10:45,052 Happy birthday. 184 00:10:45,053 --> 00:10:46,114 I'm sorry, I panicked. 185 00:10:46,115 --> 00:10:49,053 As long as I can wear it or eat it I'm happy. 186 00:10:49,054 --> 00:10:52,034 You can do both of those things. 187 00:10:52,035 --> 00:10:53,117 Oh, my God, did you get me a... 188 00:10:53,118 --> 00:10:55,107 What is this? I... 189 00:10:55,108 --> 00:10:57,119 What the... What is... I don't know. 190 00:10:57,120 --> 00:10:59,120 What is it? Something to love. 191 00:10:59,121 --> 00:11:02,137 She's beautiful! 192 00:11:04,083 --> 00:11:06,080 You idiot! 193 00:11:06,081 --> 00:11:08,047 Escape artist. 194 00:11:14,091 --> 00:11:16,073 I don't feel anything about guinea pigs, 195 00:11:16,074 --> 00:11:17,097 they're pointless, 196 00:11:17,098 --> 00:11:19,135 but Boo took Hillary very seriously as a gift 197 00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:23,070 and, soon, everything became guinea pig-related. 198 00:11:26,067 --> 00:11:28,121 This is an excellent one. 199 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:33,086 Drink? 200 00:11:38,082 --> 00:11:40,141 Look, I'm, er, sorry about the mess. 201 00:11:40,142 --> 00:11:41,146 No problem. 202 00:11:41,147 --> 00:11:44,139 Do you want some prosciutto with that? Mm. 203 00:11:44,140 --> 00:11:47,100 Mm. Mm. 204 00:11:47,101 --> 00:11:48,106 Oh. 205 00:11:52,143 --> 00:11:54,098 So reliable. 206 00:11:54,099 --> 00:11:55,133 Utterly inaccessible. 207 00:11:55,134 --> 00:11:57,099 Relentlessly profound. 208 00:11:57,100 --> 00:12:00,107 All he wants is to get you in the bath and ask questions like... 209 00:12:00,108 --> 00:12:01,139 What are you afraid of? 210 00:12:02,151 --> 00:12:05,131 And you find yourself saying things like... 211 00:12:05,132 --> 00:12:09,083 I guess... .. losing the currency of youth. 212 00:12:13,138 --> 00:12:14,159 Ask me a question. 213 00:12:16,119 --> 00:12:19,083 When did you realise you were so good looking? 214 00:12:21,096 --> 00:12:23,147 I knew I was different when I was about nine, 215 00:12:23,148 --> 00:12:25,157 but shit got real around 11. 216 00:12:25,158 --> 00:12:27,097 Shit got real? 217 00:12:27,098 --> 00:12:30,089 You know... Aunts got weird. 218 00:12:33,136 --> 00:12:36,072 I have another question. 219 00:12:38,094 --> 00:12:39,135 Do you ever feel lonely? 220 00:12:42,079 --> 00:12:43,150 Yeah. 221 00:12:43,151 --> 00:12:45,131 Of course. 222 00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:47,131 Do you? 223 00:12:47,132 --> 00:12:48,150 Never. 224 00:12:53,103 --> 00:12:54,165 Do you want some pineapple? 225 00:12:57,116 --> 00:12:58,122 Yeah. 226 00:13:06,087 --> 00:13:07,145 God, yeah! 227 00:13:09,104 --> 00:13:10,169 Oh, they're so small! 228 00:13:10,170 --> 00:13:13,104 They are so small! 229 00:13:13,105 --> 00:13:16,089 What? They're so small! 230 00:13:16,090 --> 00:13:17,146 So... Small! 231 00:13:17,147 --> 00:13:20,155 God, they are so fucking tiny! 232 00:13:20,156 --> 00:13:22,087 Yeah, I guess they're... 233 00:13:22,088 --> 00:13:26,089 Oh, God, they're hardly even there! I mean, what the fuck even are they? 234 00:13:26,090 --> 00:13:27,169 Bit much. 235 00:13:27,170 --> 00:13:29,112 Excuse me! 236 00:13:33,123 --> 00:13:34,141 Oh, yeah! 237 00:13:35,172 --> 00:13:38,092 I'm having a Harry panic. 238 00:13:38,093 --> 00:13:40,114 Madame Ovary's telling me to run back to safe place, 239 00:13:40,115 --> 00:13:41,183 I can make baby in safe place, 240 00:13:41,184 --> 00:13:43,145 but you've got to ride it out. 241 00:13:44,163 --> 00:13:47,111 Mustn't call Ha... 242 00:13:53,139 --> 00:13:54,152 Thanks for coming. 243 00:13:55,179 --> 00:13:57,135 That's OK. 244 00:13:57,136 --> 00:13:58,183 Are you OK? 245 00:13:58,184 --> 00:14:00,195 Your message sounded urgent. 246 00:14:03,150 --> 00:14:04,181 Were you busy? 247 00:14:04,182 --> 00:14:06,173 No, I was in the interval... Oh, cool. 248 00:14:06,174 --> 00:14:09,098 .. of Cats. OK. The musical. 249 00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:10,103 Was it good? 250 00:14:10,104 --> 00:14:11,149 Really good, actually. 251 00:14:11,150 --> 00:14:12,153 Really good. 252 00:14:13,169 --> 00:14:16,133 Sorry for interrupting. No, that's OK. 253 00:14:16,134 --> 00:14:19,165 I, er... I got the feeling it wasn't going to end well for the cats, 254 00:14:19,166 --> 00:14:23,148 so probably good to remember them like that before they all... 255 00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:27,138 Sorry. Erm... Are you OK? 256 00:14:28,173 --> 00:14:30,113 Who were you with? 257 00:14:30,114 --> 00:14:31,139 A work friend. 258 00:14:32,199 --> 00:14:34,113 A girl. 259 00:14:39,114 --> 00:14:40,167 I, erm... 260 00:14:44,187 --> 00:14:46,126 I found this. 261 00:14:52,182 --> 00:14:54,169 Thanks. 262 00:14:54,170 --> 00:14:56,137 I didn't realise I'd left it. 263 00:15:02,177 --> 00:15:03,206 Why's your hair wet? 264 00:15:06,122 --> 00:15:07,171 Don't look at me like that. 265 00:15:07,172 --> 00:15:09,182 Like what? Like what? 266 00:15:09,183 --> 00:15:12,214 Look, I don't want to sound cold or cruel or... You know... 267 00:15:12,215 --> 00:15:15,152 And I don't want to think I'm just off happy at the theatre 268 00:15:15,153 --> 00:15:18,157 all the time, either, I'm not, but 269 00:15:18,158 --> 00:15:20,141 I'm not going to... I just... 270 00:15:20,142 --> 00:15:22,199 If this is about us getting back together, I was serious, 271 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:24,221 this time I'm not just going to come running back. 272 00:15:24,222 --> 00:15:27,155 I really just need some time away from... 273 00:15:29,177 --> 00:15:31,186 I'm so glad you called. 274 00:15:31,187 --> 00:15:33,133 I'm so glad you picked up. 275 00:15:34,163 --> 00:15:35,209 I've missed you. 276 00:15:38,129 --> 00:15:39,150 I've missed you. 277 00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:43,168 Oh, my gosh, you feel good. 278 00:15:45,163 --> 00:15:47,154 I wish he'd just fuck me. 279 00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:49,154 All he wants to do is make love. 280 00:15:49,155 --> 00:15:50,155 Are you OK? 281 00:15:50,156 --> 00:15:52,171 Yeah, I'm really good. I'm amazing. 282 00:15:53,193 --> 00:15:55,213 He's wasting me. 283 00:15:55,214 --> 00:15:59,227 I was once fucking this guy who would breathe on every thrust... 284 00:15:59,228 --> 00:16:01,151 You're so young! 285 00:16:01,152 --> 00:16:02,173 You're so young! 286 00:16:02,174 --> 00:16:05,156 I masturbate about that all the time. 287 00:16:05,157 --> 00:16:07,221 I masturbate a lot these days. 288 00:16:07,222 --> 00:16:09,184 Especially when I'm bored. 289 00:16:10,231 --> 00:16:13,146 Or angry. 290 00:16:13,147 --> 00:16:14,163 Or upset. 291 00:16:14,164 --> 00:16:16,235 Can we just... Or happy. 292 00:16:16,236 --> 00:16:18,176 Oh. Yeah. 293 00:16:18,177 --> 00:16:19,212 Ah. 294 00:16:19,213 --> 00:16:21,201 Yeah. 295 00:16:21,202 --> 00:16:22,231 Amazing. 296 00:16:23,238 --> 00:16:28,152 Shall I? No, could you just... Just stay there. 297 00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:29,212 Ah. 298 00:16:29,213 --> 00:16:32,205 No, don't. Just... Ah. 299 00:16:32,206 --> 00:16:34,238 Yeah. Sh, sh! Ah! 300 00:16:34,239 --> 00:16:36,198 Yeah. 301 00:16:36,199 --> 00:16:41,162 Yes. Just... Ah, just... Ah, God. 302 00:16:43,149 --> 00:16:45,177 Ah! 303 00:16:45,178 --> 00:16:46,213 Oh! 304 00:16:46,214 --> 00:16:48,162 Oh! 305 00:16:48,163 --> 00:16:50,163 Oh! 306 00:16:50,164 --> 00:16:51,197 Ah! 307 00:17:04,164 --> 00:17:06,215 Look, I think we should stop masturbating. 308 00:17:10,194 --> 00:17:13,202 And don't say anything yet, I just... 309 00:17:13,203 --> 00:17:16,215 I just think it might help us focus on each other. 310 00:17:16,216 --> 00:17:18,176 You know, be more present. 311 00:17:18,177 --> 00:17:20,180 Really successful couples do it. 312 00:17:22,226 --> 00:17:25,178 Erm... I've hidden our vibrators. 313 00:17:25,179 --> 00:17:26,183 Our? 314 00:17:26,184 --> 00:17:27,229 I thought it might be fun. 315 00:17:27,230 --> 00:17:28,251 To find them? 316 00:17:28,252 --> 00:17:30,231 No, just to try and not... 317 00:17:31,249 --> 00:17:34,169 .. touch ourselves, to try and... 318 00:17:34,170 --> 00:17:36,202 ..save our touches... 319 00:17:36,203 --> 00:17:39,194 .. for each other. I mean, what do you think? 320 00:17:39,195 --> 00:17:41,190 Well, I think you're being really sexy. 321 00:17:41,191 --> 00:17:44,244 Don't! Oh! I'm joking. 322 00:17:44,245 --> 00:17:46,253 I never masturbate. 323 00:17:46,254 --> 00:17:47,263 I don't know how. 324 00:17:51,191 --> 00:17:54,202 Yeah, also, I thought we should try and surprise each other 325 00:17:54,203 --> 00:17:56,218 once every day, just a, you know... 326 00:17:56,219 --> 00:17:58,251 A sweet little something, just to keep it... 327 00:17:58,252 --> 00:18:01,180 You know? Are you getting this out of a book? 328 00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:04,250 I've already planned your first surprise, so... 329 00:18:04,251 --> 00:18:07,223 Don't eat too much before dinner. 330 00:18:12,271 --> 00:18:14,189 See you later. 331 00:18:15,208 --> 00:18:18,196 And I will see you later, too. 332 00:18:27,235 --> 00:18:29,211 Oh. 333 00:18:29,212 --> 00:18:30,239 Hi. 334 00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:33,200 Just thought I'd pop by for some lunch. 335 00:18:33,201 --> 00:18:34,236 Bit weird. 336 00:18:34,237 --> 00:18:35,279 Yes, well... 337 00:18:39,227 --> 00:18:41,203 How are you? 338 00:18:41,204 --> 00:18:42,267 Quiet day? 339 00:18:42,268 --> 00:18:44,203 Yeah, I'm fine. 340 00:18:44,204 --> 00:18:45,278 You OK? You look stressed. 341 00:18:45,279 --> 00:18:47,215 Well, I'm successful, so... 342 00:18:49,214 --> 00:18:50,255 Do you have rye bread? 343 00:18:50,256 --> 00:18:54,231 No, but I have some normal bread you can puke up after. 344 00:18:54,232 --> 00:18:56,211 Great. 345 00:18:56,212 --> 00:18:57,241 What do you want on it? 346 00:18:57,242 --> 00:19:00,193 Oh, just tomatoes is fine. 347 00:19:00,194 --> 00:19:01,265 Just tomatoes? 348 00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:03,262 Just a tomato sandwich? 349 00:19:03,263 --> 00:19:05,263 Yes. Is there a problem? 350 00:19:05,264 --> 00:19:06,293 No. 351 00:19:08,277 --> 00:19:11,257 Listen, I don't want to know anything about this surprise party, 352 00:19:11,258 --> 00:19:13,249 but, if you could just, erm, 353 00:19:13,250 --> 00:19:16,270 have it at mine this Friday at 7:30, that'd be great. 354 00:19:16,271 --> 00:19:19,223 I can organise it and act surprised 355 00:19:19,224 --> 00:19:21,232 but, if you could just, erm... 356 00:19:21,233 --> 00:19:23,234 Do you know what, why don't I just do it? 357 00:19:23,235 --> 00:19:26,224 I can organise it, do the food, act surprised, 358 00:19:26,225 --> 00:19:28,212 and just take it off your hands. 359 00:19:28,213 --> 00:19:31,210 I mean, I can see that you're busy, so... OK, if you want. 360 00:19:31,211 --> 00:19:34,211 Well, I don't want to, but I think it would be easier for everyone 361 00:19:34,212 --> 00:19:35,254 if I could just... OK. 362 00:19:35,255 --> 00:19:37,295 I mean, I've done it, it's done. 363 00:19:37,296 --> 00:19:39,296 It's this Friday at 7:30 at mine. 364 00:19:40,303 --> 00:19:42,209 Great. 365 00:19:47,289 --> 00:19:49,224 How behind are you? 366 00:19:49,225 --> 00:19:50,303 If it's money that you need... 367 00:19:50,304 --> 00:19:53,231 I don't need money. 368 00:19:53,232 --> 00:19:54,289 That'll be £25, please. 369 00:19:57,269 --> 00:19:59,215 London... 370 00:20:00,226 --> 00:20:01,253 Thanks. 371 00:20:04,267 --> 00:20:07,235 Can't believe that thing's still alive. 372 00:20:07,236 --> 00:20:09,284 Oh, any news on Harry? 373 00:20:09,285 --> 00:20:11,240 Yeah, we're back together. 374 00:20:11,241 --> 00:20:12,286 Oh, God, I can't keep up. 375 00:20:20,228 --> 00:20:21,249 Hello! 376 00:20:23,249 --> 00:20:24,270 Harry? 377 00:20:28,314 --> 00:20:30,294 Oh. 378 00:20:30,295 --> 00:20:32,275 Shit. 379 00:20:32,276 --> 00:20:35,223 Surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise. 380 00:21:25,265 --> 00:21:27,312 Surprise! Argh! 381 00:21:27,313 --> 00:21:29,289 Argh! 382 00:21:29,290 --> 00:21:31,242 It's me! It's me! It's me! 383 00:21:31,243 --> 00:21:33,281 Why would you do that? I thought I was going to get raped! 384 00:21:33,282 --> 00:21:36,266 I'm sorry! Baby, I'm sorry! I thought you wanted a surprise! 385 00:21:36,267 --> 00:21:37,297 It was a ninja surprise! 386 00:21:37,298 --> 00:21:38,318 Oh, my God, my heart! 387 00:21:38,319 --> 00:21:40,299 I'm shaking so much! Oh, my God! 388 00:21:42,315 --> 00:21:45,279 Oh, my God! Oh! Oh, my God! 389 00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:47,275 OK. It's OK. Are you OK? 390 00:21:47,276 --> 00:21:49,320 Oh, my God. 391 00:21:49,321 --> 00:21:51,285 Did you have a good day? 392 00:21:51,286 --> 00:21:53,335 I did, yeah. Fine, thanks. I'm so sorry. 393 00:21:53,336 --> 00:21:56,342 I'm sorry. I didn't think you were going to react like that. 394 00:21:56,343 --> 00:22:00,271 I'm... I'm sorry, it was a joke. 395 00:22:00,272 --> 00:22:01,338 It was a good joke. 396 00:22:04,274 --> 00:22:05,329 Jesus. 397 00:22:05,330 --> 00:22:07,338 I thought you'd be later. 398 00:22:07,339 --> 00:22:10,270 Argh! Oh, my God! 399 00:22:10,271 --> 00:22:12,277 Oh, God, sorry! I just had to get that out! 400 00:22:12,278 --> 00:22:14,271 I'm still in shock! I'm still shaking! 401 00:22:18,262 --> 00:22:19,299 That was horrible. 402 00:22:19,300 --> 00:22:20,336 It was a surprise. 403 00:22:20,337 --> 00:22:22,258 I know. 404 00:22:22,259 --> 00:22:23,270 Thank you. 405 00:22:23,271 --> 00:22:24,293 It's fine. 406 00:22:26,304 --> 00:22:28,291 Shall I go and get us some wine? 407 00:22:36,332 --> 00:22:38,268 I know what you look like! 408 00:22:38,269 --> 00:22:39,306 I know what you took! 409 00:22:39,307 --> 00:22:41,288 That is the last time! 410 00:22:43,339 --> 00:22:46,322 Splashed out on a special bottle for a special... 411 00:22:49,360 --> 00:22:50,366 Harry? 412 00:22:52,281 --> 00:22:54,347 I had to go into the history on my computer 413 00:22:54,348 --> 00:22:58,323 to find something I'd seen on the H&M website this morning and... 414 00:22:59,368 --> 00:23:02,347 I don't want to point fingers but... 415 00:23:02,348 --> 00:23:06,345 .. anal, gang bang, mature, big cock, 416 00:23:06,346 --> 00:23:10,334 small tits, hentai, Asian, teen, 417 00:23:10,335 --> 00:23:15,299 MILF, big butts, lesbian, gay, facial, fetish, 418 00:23:15,300 --> 00:23:20,297 bukake, young and old, swallow, rough, voyeur 419 00:23:20,298 --> 00:23:21,331 and public. 420 00:23:27,289 --> 00:23:28,334 Why are you being so sexy? 421 00:23:30,322 --> 00:23:31,355 Don't make me hate you. 422 00:23:32,371 --> 00:23:34,345 Loving you's painful enough. 423 00:23:38,328 --> 00:23:39,338 OK, sorry... 424 00:23:41,325 --> 00:23:43,343 .. but I really think you should write that down. 425 00:23:43,344 --> 00:23:45,340 I know it's not appropriate but I really think 426 00:23:45,341 --> 00:23:47,344 you should write that down. It's really good... 427 00:23:47,345 --> 00:23:49,345 I'm not going to write down... No, I'm serious! 428 00:23:49,346 --> 00:23:52,308 For your songs and stuff. It's perfect! It's poetic yet real. 429 00:23:52,309 --> 00:23:53,310 Serious. 430 00:24:03,380 --> 00:24:06,372 Don't... .. make me... 431 00:24:06,373 --> 00:24:10,313 Hate you. Yeah, I know, thank you. 432 00:24:10,314 --> 00:24:13,318 Loving you is painful... 433 00:24:15,340 --> 00:24:16,381 What am I doing? 434 00:24:19,302 --> 00:24:21,319 Look, there's someone at work who loves me. 435 00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:24,305 Well, she told me she loves me and I said we couldn't be together 436 00:24:24,306 --> 00:24:25,345 because I had to know. 437 00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:28,354 Do you want to be alone? 438 00:24:33,306 --> 00:24:34,368 You will never see me again. 439 00:24:36,375 --> 00:24:40,351 I'll always love you but I just can't take it any more. 440 00:24:40,352 --> 00:24:43,328 I don't hate you, I'm scared for you. 441 00:24:45,370 --> 00:24:47,344 He's going to write that down. 442 00:24:55,333 --> 00:24:58,355 Don't hate you... Scared... 443 00:25:05,368 --> 00:25:10,329 I'm going to go pack my things up from the bedroom again, but, erm... 444 00:25:10,330 --> 00:25:12,322 I'm... I'm not going to clean. 445 00:25:12,323 --> 00:25:13,412 It's still in pretty good shape, so... 446 00:25:16,360 --> 00:25:19,410 If I don't see you after that, goodbye. 447 00:25:27,372 --> 00:25:31,354 Forever. 448 00:25:37,415 --> 00:25:38,420 He'll be back.