1 00:00:12,319 --> 00:00:14,480 Do you think they have yesterday's Daily News? 2 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:15,560 Why? 3 00:00:15,639 --> 00:00:18,080 I just wanna check my horoscope, see if it was right. 4 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:23,200 Oh, my God. Phoebe. Don't look now, but, behind you there's a guy 5 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:24,639 who has the potential to break our hearts 6 00:00:24,719 --> 00:00:26,520 and plunge us into depression. 7 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:28,000 Where? 8 00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:29,640 Come to Mama. 9 00:00:30,719 --> 00:00:32,360 Okay, he's coming. Be cool. 10 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:35,399 - Nice hat. - Thanks. 11 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:38,840 - We should do something. Whistle. - We're not gonna whistle. 12 00:00:38,919 --> 00:00:39,959 - Yeah, come on, do it. - No. 13 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,040 - Do it. - Woo-hoo! 14 00:00:47,359 --> 00:00:49,559 I can't believe you did that. 15 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,679 Why did I woo-hoo? 16 00:01:37,759 --> 00:01:40,160 What was I hoping? He'd turn around and say: 17 00:01:40,239 --> 00:01:42,199 "I love that sound. I must have you now"? 18 00:01:43,839 --> 00:01:46,160 I just wish there was something we could do. 19 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:50,119 Hello. Hello, coma guy. 20 00:01:51,959 --> 00:01:54,039 Get up, you Girl Scout! Up! 21 00:01:54,119 --> 00:01:56,520 - Phoebe, what are you doing? - Maybe nobody's tried this. 22 00:02:00,119 --> 00:02:04,239 I wish we at least knew his name. Would you look at that face? 23 00:02:04,319 --> 00:02:08,319 Even sleeping he looks smart. I bet he's a lawyer. 24 00:02:08,399 --> 00:02:10,399 Yeah, but did you see the dents in his knuckles? 25 00:02:10,479 --> 00:02:11,920 That means he's artistic. 26 00:02:12,239 --> 00:02:16,280 Okay. He's a lawyer who teaches sculpting on the side. 27 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:18,599 And he can dance. 28 00:02:18,679 --> 00:02:22,680 And he's the kind of guy who, when you're talking, he's listening, 29 00:02:22,759 --> 00:02:25,039 and not saying, "Yeah, I understand", 30 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:27,120 but wondering what you look like naked. 31 00:02:27,199 --> 00:02:28,280 Stop it. 32 00:02:30,319 --> 00:02:32,599 I wish all guys could be like him. 33 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:35,680 I know. 34 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:43,160 Are there no conscious men in the city for you two? 35 00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:47,400 - He doesn't have anyone. - Yeah. We feel kind of responsible. 36 00:02:48,199 --> 00:02:50,560 I can't believe you said, "Woo-hoo." 37 00:02:51,199 --> 00:02:53,000 I don't even say, "Woo-hoo." 38 00:02:53,079 --> 00:02:54,519 She's coming up. 39 00:02:54,599 --> 00:02:55,720 Folks, when we come back, 40 00:02:55,799 --> 00:02:57,960 we'll talk about her new book Euphoria Unbound, 41 00:02:58,039 --> 00:02:59,599 with always-interesting Nora Tyler Bing. 42 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,599 Put the kids to bed for this one. 43 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:02,680 Don't watch this. 44 00:03:02,759 --> 00:03:05,079 Weekend at Bernie's is on Showtime and HBO and Cinemex. 45 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:08,199 - No way. - Come on. She's your mom. 46 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:10,319 Exactly. Weekend at Bernie's. 47 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:12,840 Dead guy getting hit in the groin 20, 30 times. 48 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:15,240 No? 49 00:03:15,319 --> 00:03:18,240 Chandler, I gotta tell you I love your mom's books. I love her books. 50 00:03:18,319 --> 00:03:21,120 I cannot get on a plane without one. This is so cool. 51 00:03:21,199 --> 00:03:23,120 You wouldn't think it's cool if you were 11, 52 00:03:23,199 --> 00:03:27,199 and all your friends were passing around page 79 of Mistress Bitch. 53 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:30,440 Come on, Chandler. I love your mom. I think she's a blast. 54 00:03:30,519 --> 00:03:33,400 You can say that. She's not your mom. Please. She's the… 55 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,359 Hi, sweetie. 56 00:03:37,519 --> 00:03:40,079 When did Rigatoni get back from Rome? 57 00:03:41,639 --> 00:03:43,039 - Last night. - Really? 58 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:46,359 So then his plane didn't explode in a big ball of fire? 59 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:48,400 Just a dream I had. 60 00:03:48,479 --> 00:03:50,079 But, phew. 61 00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:52,720 She's on. 62 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:56,799 Nora Bing. 63 00:03:58,160 --> 00:03:59,280 Before we get to the book. 64 00:03:59,359 --> 00:04:01,880 What is this about you being arrested in London? 65 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,039 What is that about? 66 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:06,759 - Your mom was arrested? - I'm busy beaming with pride. 67 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:08,720 This is kind of embarrassing 68 00:04:08,799 --> 00:04:13,039 but occasionally after I've been intimate with a man… 69 00:04:13,599 --> 00:04:16,560 Why would she say that's embarrassing? 70 00:04:16,639 --> 00:04:19,960 I just get this craving for Kung Pao chicken. 71 00:04:20,039 --> 00:04:21,680 That's too much information. 72 00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:28,519 So now you're doing this book tour thing. How's that going? 73 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:32,600 Fine. I'm leaving for New York tomorrow, which I hate. 74 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:34,759 But I get to see my son, who I love. 75 00:04:36,639 --> 00:04:40,399 This is the way that I find out. Most moms use the phone. 76 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:44,839 Don't take this wrong, I just don't see you as a mom somehow. 77 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:48,240 - I don't mean that bad. - No. I'm a fabulous mom. 78 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:50,719 I bought my son his first condoms. 79 00:04:56,639 --> 00:04:58,759 And then he burst into flames. 80 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:11,399 Let's see. "Congress is debating a new deficit-reduction bill. 81 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:13,560 "The mayor wants to raise subway fares again. 82 00:05:14,199 --> 00:05:16,399 "The high today was 45." 83 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:18,440 And teams played sports. 84 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:46,759 - What about Glen? - No. 85 00:05:46,839 --> 00:05:49,639 - He could be a Glen. - Not special enough. 86 00:05:50,279 --> 00:05:52,319 How about Agamemnon? 87 00:05:52,399 --> 00:05:54,159 Way too special. 88 00:06:02,399 --> 00:06:04,680 I'm famished. What do I want? 89 00:06:04,759 --> 00:06:08,040 Please, God, don't let it be Kung Pao chicken. 90 00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:11,040 You watched the show. What did you think? 91 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:14,000 I think you need to come out of your shell just… 92 00:06:16,399 --> 00:06:21,040 What is this dive? Only you could've picked this place. 93 00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:22,560 Come on. Shut up. It's fun. 94 00:06:22,639 --> 00:06:23,959 - Hi. - Give me a hug. 95 00:06:25,159 --> 00:06:26,920 I think we're ready for some tequila. 96 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:28,000 I know I am. 97 00:06:28,079 --> 00:06:29,600 - Who's doing shots? - Hit me. 98 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:31,360 - I'm in. - There you go. Ross? 99 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:34,360 I'm not really a shot-drinking kind of guy. 100 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:39,600 Hi. Sorry. Sorry we're late. We kind of just lost track of time. 101 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:43,759 But a man can change. 102 00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:51,600 Anyone want me to appraise anything? 103 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:04,560 Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written. 104 00:07:04,639 --> 00:07:06,959 No, I mean it. When I read Euphoria at Midnight, 105 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:08,680 all I wanted to do was become a writer. 106 00:07:08,759 --> 00:07:11,399 Please, honey. If I can do it, anybody can. 107 00:07:11,959 --> 00:07:14,319 You just start with half a dozen European cities, 108 00:07:14,399 --> 00:07:16,600 throw in 30 euphemisms for male genitalia, 109 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:19,440 and, bam, you have got yourself a book. 110 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:23,000 My mother, ladies and gentlemen. 111 00:07:25,959 --> 00:07:28,880 Yeah, any messages for room 226? 112 00:07:30,159 --> 00:07:33,240 - You okay, slugger? - Yeah. I'm fine. 113 00:07:45,399 --> 00:07:50,000 - What is with you tonight? - Nothing. 114 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:52,120 Okay, thank you. 115 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:57,680 It's the Italian hand-licker, isn't it? 116 00:07:57,759 --> 00:08:00,399 No. It's the one he's licking. 117 00:08:01,159 --> 00:08:05,000 - She's supposed to be with you. - You're good. 118 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:09,759 Ross, listen to me. I have sold 100 million copies of my books, 119 00:08:09,839 --> 00:08:11,000 and you know why? 120 00:08:11,079 --> 00:08:13,560 The girl on the cover with her nipples showing? 121 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:20,560 No, because I know how to write men that women fall in love with. 122 00:08:20,639 --> 00:08:22,639 Believe me, I cannot sell a Paolo. 123 00:08:22,719 --> 00:08:25,959 People will not turn 325 pages for a Paolo. 124 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:27,800 Come on. The guy's a secondary character. 125 00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:31,480 He's just a complication you eventually kill off. 126 00:08:33,639 --> 00:08:34,880 When? 127 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,519 He's not a hero. 128 00:08:40,079 --> 00:08:41,279 You know who our hero is? 129 00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:44,039 The guy on the cover with his nipples showing? 130 00:08:44,799 --> 00:08:46,439 No, it's you. 131 00:08:46,519 --> 00:08:48,159 - Please. - No, really. 132 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:50,279 Come on. You're smart. You're sexy. 133 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:52,919 - Right. - Come on, kiddo. 134 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,480 You're gonna be fine, believe me. 135 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:16,320 I'll just pee in the street. 136 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:27,559 Is Chandler here? 137 00:09:27,639 --> 00:09:29,399 - Yeah. - Wait. Come here. 138 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:34,159 Okay, about last night, you know… 139 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:35,840 Chandler. You didn't tell… 140 00:09:35,919 --> 00:09:38,000 Okay, I'm thinking we don't need to tell Chandler. 141 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:40,679 It was just a kiss. One kiss. No big deal, right? 142 00:09:40,759 --> 00:09:42,639 - Right. No big deal. - Okay. 143 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:44,320 In Bizarro-world. 144 00:09:47,679 --> 00:09:48,919 You broke the code. 145 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:51,919 - What code? - You don't kiss your friend's mom. 146 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:55,600 Sisters are okay. Maybe a hot-looking aunt. 147 00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:57,519 But not a mom. Never a mom. 148 00:10:00,679 --> 00:10:02,600 What are you guys doing out here? 149 00:10:02,679 --> 00:10:06,159 Joey and I had discussed getting in an early morning racquetball game. 150 00:10:07,639 --> 00:10:10,519 But apparently somebody overslept. 151 00:10:12,399 --> 00:10:14,399 Yeah, well, you don't have your racquet. 152 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:16,600 No. No, I don't, because it's being restrung. 153 00:10:16,679 --> 00:10:19,279 Somebody was supposed to bring me one. 154 00:10:19,759 --> 00:10:23,080 Yeah. You didn't call and leave your grip size. 155 00:10:25,519 --> 00:10:28,320 Okay, you guys are spending way too much time together. 156 00:10:31,279 --> 00:10:32,840 Okay, I'm scum. 157 00:10:32,919 --> 00:10:35,360 - How could you let this happen? - I don't know. 158 00:10:35,439 --> 00:10:39,399 It's not like she's a regular mom. You know? She's sexy. She's… 159 00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:41,439 You don't think my mom's sexy? 160 00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:45,480 Not in the same way. 161 00:10:45,559 --> 00:10:47,279 I'll have you know that Gloria Tribbiani 162 00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:49,360 was a handsome woman in her day, all right? 163 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:53,720 You think it's easy giving birth to seven children? 164 00:10:55,799 --> 00:10:58,679 Okay, I think we're getting into a weird area here. 165 00:11:00,279 --> 00:11:02,360 Hey. What are you guys doing out here? 166 00:11:02,439 --> 00:11:05,399 Not playing racquetball. 167 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,559 - He forgot to leave his grip size. - He didn't get the goggles. 168 00:11:10,639 --> 00:11:12,320 Right. 169 00:11:13,439 --> 00:11:15,559 Sounds like you two have issues. 170 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:19,880 Goodbye, baby. 171 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:24,639 Do they wait for me to do this? 172 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:32,480 - So are you gonna tell him? - I'm not gonna tell him. 173 00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:33,600 Why would I tell him? 174 00:11:33,679 --> 00:11:36,840 How about, because if you don't, his mother might? 175 00:11:37,159 --> 00:11:39,200 What are you guys doing here? 176 00:11:39,279 --> 00:11:42,200 He's not even wearing a jock strap. 177 00:11:47,639 --> 00:11:49,320 What did I ask? 178 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:01,960 - Hi. - Hi. 179 00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:05,000 What are you doing here? 180 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:07,880 Nothing. I just thought I'd stop by after the… 181 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:10,480 That I, you know. So, what are you doing here? 182 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:14,320 I'm not really here. 183 00:12:14,399 --> 00:12:18,759 I just thought I'd drop these off on the way. My way. 184 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:24,120 Do you come here a lot 185 00:12:24,639 --> 00:12:25,919 without me? 186 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:28,600 No. 187 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:34,320 So do you think he's doing any better than he was this morning? 188 00:12:35,919 --> 00:12:38,439 How would I know? I wasn't here. 189 00:12:38,519 --> 00:12:41,759 Really? Not even to change his pajamas? 190 00:12:45,519 --> 00:12:49,519 - Oh, my God. - You're my friend. I had to tell you. 191 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:51,200 I can't believe it. 192 00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:53,360 Paolo kissed my mom? 193 00:12:54,919 --> 00:12:58,000 Yeah, I don't know if you noticed, but he had a lot to drink. 194 00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:00,519 You know how he gets when he's drunk… 195 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:04,279 I can't do this. I did it. 196 00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:06,720 It was me. I'm sorry. I kissed your mom. 197 00:13:07,279 --> 00:13:08,600 What? 198 00:13:08,679 --> 00:13:10,559 I was really upset about Rachel and Paolo 199 00:13:10,639 --> 00:13:12,320 and I think I had too much tequila, 200 00:13:12,399 --> 00:13:15,159 and Nora, Mrs. Mom, your Bing, was… 201 00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:19,519 She was just being nice, you know? But nothing happened. 202 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,200 Nothing. Ask Joey. Joey came in… 203 00:13:22,279 --> 00:13:24,000 You knew about this? 204 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:26,120 Knowledge is a tricky thing. 205 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:29,880 I spent the entire day with you. Why didn't you tell me? 206 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,080 You're lucky I caught them when I did, 207 00:13:32,159 --> 00:13:33,919 or else who knows what would've happened? 208 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,360 Thanks, man. Big help. 209 00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:38,039 I can't believe this. What the hell were you thinking? 210 00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:40,240 I wasn't. I don't know. I… 211 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:41,320 Of all my friends, 212 00:13:41,399 --> 00:13:43,720 no one knows the crap I go through with my mom more than you. 213 00:13:43,799 --> 00:13:46,000 - I know. - I can't believe you did this. 214 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:48,360 - Me neither. - I'm mad at you for not telling me. 215 00:13:48,439 --> 00:13:51,600 - What are you mad at me… - Let me slam the door. 216 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:54,240 Chandler, I didn't kiss her. He did. 217 00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:55,960 See what happens when you break the code? 218 00:13:56,039 --> 00:13:57,759 Joey. 219 00:14:06,159 --> 00:14:08,960 - Rach. - Hey. 220 00:14:09,039 --> 00:14:12,159 "A Woman Undone. By Rachel Karen Green." 221 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:15,600 Yeah, I thought I'd give it a shot. I'm still on the first chapter. 222 00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:20,559 Do you think his "love stick" can be "liberated from its denim prison"? 223 00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:24,320 Yeah, I'd say so. 224 00:14:24,399 --> 00:14:27,439 And there's no "J" in "engorged." 225 00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:30,519 - Hey, Rach. - Hey. 226 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:31,840 - Hello. - Hello. 227 00:14:32,759 --> 00:14:35,240 - You going to the hospital tonight? - No. You? 228 00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:37,000 No. You? 229 00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:41,519 You just asked me. 230 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:43,519 Okay, maybe it was a trick question. 231 00:14:44,799 --> 00:14:48,279 - Rachel, can we do this now? - Okay. 232 00:14:49,279 --> 00:14:51,519 I am so hot. 233 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:55,759 And here's a picture of my mother and father on their wedding day. 234 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:58,480 Now, you tell me she's not a knockout. 235 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:02,039 I cannot believe we're having this conversation. 236 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:04,519 Come on, just try to picture her not pregnant. That's all. 237 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:09,880 Central Perk is proud to present Miss Phoebe Buffay. 238 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:13,120 Thanks. 239 00:15:13,639 --> 00:15:15,159 Hi. Okay. 240 00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:18,480 I'd like to start with a song that's about a man I recently met 241 00:15:18,559 --> 00:15:21,559 who's come to be very important to me. 242 00:15:23,799 --> 00:15:25,039 Okay. 243 00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:31,240 You don't have to be awake To be my man 244 00:15:33,399 --> 00:15:38,159 Long as you have brain waves I'll be there to hold your hand 245 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:42,000 Though we just met the other day 246 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:45,159 There's something I have got to say 247 00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:49,120 Okay, thank you very much. I'm gonna take a short break. 248 00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:54,799 Okay, that was Phoebe Buffay, everybody. 249 00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:58,759 - What the hell was that? - Phoebe just started… 250 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:02,240 I believe I was talking to Joey. All right, there, mother-kisser? 251 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:09,080 "Mother-kisser." 252 00:16:10,439 --> 00:16:11,799 I'll shut up. 253 00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:14,480 Chandler, can I say something? I know you're still mad at me. 254 00:16:14,559 --> 00:16:17,720 I just wanna say that there were two people there that night, okay? 255 00:16:17,799 --> 00:16:20,679 - There were two sets of lips. - Yes, well, I expect this from her. 256 00:16:20,759 --> 00:16:23,480 Okay? She's always been a Freudian nightmare. 257 00:16:23,559 --> 00:16:26,720 Okay, but if she always behaves like this, why don't you say something? 258 00:16:26,799 --> 00:16:29,639 Because it's complicated. It's complex. 259 00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:31,240 You kissed my mom. 260 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:37,200 We're rehearsing a Greek play. 261 00:16:38,559 --> 00:16:40,360 - That's funny. We done now? - No. 262 00:16:40,439 --> 00:16:43,639 Okay, you mean you're not gonna talk to her, tell her how you feel? 263 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:46,960 That would be a no. Just because you played tonsil tennis with my mom, 264 00:16:47,039 --> 00:16:50,200 doesn't mean you know her, all right? Trust me, you can't talk to her. 265 00:16:50,279 --> 00:16:52,480 Okay. "You can't"? Or you can't? 266 00:16:53,759 --> 00:16:58,000 Okay, that's my finger. Okay, that's my knee. 267 00:16:58,080 --> 00:16:59,720 Still doing the play. 268 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:09,159 All right, what did you do with him? 269 00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:15,239 - You're awake. - Look at you. 270 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:16,360 How do you feel? 271 00:17:16,439 --> 00:17:19,479 A little woozy, but basically okay. 272 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:21,600 Gosh, you look good. 273 00:17:21,679 --> 00:17:23,320 I feel good. 274 00:17:24,239 --> 00:17:25,760 Who are you? 275 00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:27,520 - Sorry. - I'm Phoebe Buffay. 276 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:30,159 I'm Monica Geller. I've been taking care of you. 277 00:17:30,239 --> 00:17:31,280 We both have. 278 00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:33,199 So the Etch A Sketch is from you guys? 279 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:34,679 Actually, it's just from me. 280 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:37,280 - Yeah, I got you the foot massager. - Know who shaved you? That was me. 281 00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:40,080 - I read to you. - I sang. 282 00:17:41,639 --> 00:17:43,080 Well, thanks. 283 00:17:43,159 --> 00:17:45,399 - Oh, my pleasure. - You're welcome. 284 00:17:45,479 --> 00:17:48,239 So I guess I'll see you around. 285 00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:50,959 What? That's it? 286 00:17:51,719 --> 00:17:53,280 "See you around"? 287 00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:56,600 - What do you want me to say? - I don't know. 288 00:17:56,679 --> 00:17:57,880 Maybe… 289 00:17:58,199 --> 00:17:59,520 "That was nice." 290 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:00,919 "It meant something to me." 291 00:18:02,199 --> 00:18:03,919 "I'll call you." 292 00:18:04,679 --> 00:18:07,919 - All right. I'll call you. - I don't think you mean that. 293 00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:13,199 This is so typical. 294 00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:15,999 We give, and we give, 295 00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:17,639 and we give. 296 00:18:17,719 --> 00:18:19,999 And then we just get nothing back. 297 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:23,679 And then one day, it's just, you wake up and "See you around." 298 00:18:25,999 --> 00:18:27,600 Let's go, Phoebe. 299 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:31,919 You know what? We thought you were different. 300 00:18:31,999 --> 00:18:34,120 But I guess it was just the coma. 301 00:18:38,719 --> 00:18:39,959 The car's running downstairs. 302 00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:42,639 I wanted to drop off these copies of my book for your friends. 303 00:18:43,639 --> 00:18:44,959 Anything you want from Lisbon? 304 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,760 No, just knowing you're there is enough. 305 00:18:48,439 --> 00:18:51,840 All right. Be good. I love you. 306 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:55,959 You kissed my best Ross. 307 00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:00,439 Or something to that effect. 308 00:19:01,399 --> 00:19:03,360 Okay. 309 00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:09,080 Look, it was stupid. 310 00:19:09,159 --> 00:19:11,360 - Really stupid. - Really stupid. 311 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,840 And I don't even know how it happened. 312 00:19:15,919 --> 00:19:19,560 I'm sorry, honey. I promise it will never happen again. 313 00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:23,679 - Are we okay now? - Yeah. 314 00:19:24,479 --> 00:19:26,999 No. 315 00:19:30,719 --> 00:19:33,199 The forbidden love of a man and his door. 316 00:19:35,399 --> 00:19:36,959 He did it. He told her off. 317 00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:38,719 And not just about the kiss, about everything. 318 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:39,999 - You're kidding? - No. 319 00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:42,520 He said, "When are you gonna grow up and start being a mom?" 320 00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:44,719 Wait, then she came back with: 321 00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:49,040 "The question is, when are you gonna grow up and realize I have a bomb?" 322 00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:52,679 Okay, wait. Are you sure she didn't say: 323 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:56,360 "When are you gonna grow up and realize I am your mom?" 324 00:19:59,919 --> 00:20:01,999 - That makes more sense. - You think? 325 00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:03,479 Yeah. 326 00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:05,800 So, what's going on now? 327 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:08,719 I don't know. I've been standing here spelling it out for you. 328 00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:13,040 I don't hear anything. Wait. 329 00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:14,360 What do you see? 330 00:20:14,439 --> 00:20:18,280 It's hard to tell. They're so tiny and upside down. Wait. 331 00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:21,719 They're walking away. 332 00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:24,999 No, they're not. They're coming right at us. Run! 333 00:20:27,679 --> 00:20:28,840 You okay, kiddo? 334 00:20:28,919 --> 00:20:32,120 - Yeah, I'm okay. - All right. You be good. 335 00:20:32,199 --> 00:20:33,800 Drive safe. 336 00:20:35,719 --> 00:20:38,239 - Mrs. Bing. - Mr. Geller. 337 00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:44,399 Hey. 338 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:47,679 You mean that? 339 00:20:48,479 --> 00:20:50,399 Yeah, why not? 340 00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:53,679 So I told her. 341 00:20:54,439 --> 00:20:56,439 - How did it go? - Awful. 342 00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:58,280 Couldn't have gone worse. 343 00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:01,719 - Well, how do you feel? - Pretty good. 344 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:05,320 I told her. 345 00:21:05,399 --> 00:21:07,399 Well, see? 346 00:21:07,479 --> 00:21:11,560 So maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, me kissing your mom. 347 00:21:11,639 --> 00:21:13,959 But we don't have to go down that road. 348 00:21:20,439 --> 00:21:22,399 Now, this is just the first chapter, 349 00:21:22,479 --> 00:21:27,320 and I want your absolute honest opinion. Okay? 350 00:21:27,639 --> 00:21:31,999 And on page two, he's not reaching for her "heaving beasts." 351 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:34,080 What's a "niffle"? 352 00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:37,080 You can usually find them on the heaving beasts. 353 00:21:39,199 --> 00:21:41,439 All right, so I'm not a great typist. 354 00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:45,320 Wait, did you get to the part about his "huge, throbbing pens"? 355 00:21:46,199 --> 00:21:49,239 Tell you, you don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those. 356 00:21:50,479 --> 00:21:52,399 - That's it. Give them back. - No.