1 00:00:34,699 --> 00:00:35,899 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 2 00:00:35,980 --> 00:00:38,019 That is it. You just barge in here. 3 00:00:38,100 --> 00:00:39,219 - You don't knock. - I'm sorry. 4 00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:40,539 You have no respect for anybody's privacy. 5 00:00:40,620 --> 00:00:41,859 - Rachel, wait, wait. - No, you wait. 6 00:00:41,940 --> 00:00:44,140 - This is ridiculous… - Can I just say one thing? 7 00:00:44,219 --> 00:00:45,300 What? What? 8 00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:48,420 That's a relatively open weave and I can still see your… 9 00:00:49,620 --> 00:00:50,860 nippular area. 10 00:01:42,979 --> 00:01:45,500 Oh, honey, honey, tell them the story about your patient 11 00:01:45,580 --> 00:01:49,340 who thinks things are like other things, you know? 12 00:01:49,420 --> 00:01:53,060 Like when the phone rings and she takes a shower. 13 00:01:54,259 --> 00:01:57,099 That's pretty much it. 14 00:01:57,179 --> 00:01:59,300 But you tell it really well, sweetie. 15 00:01:59,379 --> 00:02:01,700 Aw, thanks. Okay. 16 00:02:01,780 --> 00:02:04,860 Now, go away, so we can talk about you. 17 00:02:04,940 --> 00:02:07,459 Okay. I'll miss you. 18 00:02:08,259 --> 00:02:10,539 - Isn't he great? - He's so cute. 19 00:02:10,619 --> 00:02:11,860 And he seems to like you so much. 20 00:02:11,940 --> 00:02:14,099 I know, I know, he's so sweet 21 00:02:14,179 --> 00:02:15,860 oh, and so complicated, you know. 22 00:02:15,940 --> 00:02:19,099 And for a shrink, he's not too shrinky. 23 00:02:19,179 --> 00:02:20,940 So you think you'll do it on his couch? 24 00:02:21,019 --> 00:02:24,340 I don't know. I don't know. I think that's a little weird. 25 00:02:24,420 --> 00:02:26,500 You know, it's vinyl. 26 00:02:28,740 --> 00:02:30,740 Okay. You guys want anything else? 27 00:02:30,819 --> 00:02:31,979 Oh, yes, could I have one of those… 28 00:02:32,060 --> 00:02:33,620 No, I'm sorry. We're all out of those. 29 00:02:33,699 --> 00:02:35,139 - Anybody else? - Okay. 30 00:02:35,220 --> 00:02:36,940 Did I, uh, did I miss something between… 31 00:02:37,020 --> 00:02:40,500 No. She's still upset because I saw her boobies. 32 00:02:40,579 --> 00:02:43,859 Well, what? What-what were you doing seeing her boobies? 33 00:02:43,940 --> 00:02:46,340 It was an accident, it's not like I was across the street 34 00:02:46,419 --> 00:02:48,900 with a telescope and a box of doughnuts. 35 00:02:49,539 --> 00:02:51,940 Okay, okay. Can we change the subject, please? 36 00:02:52,020 --> 00:02:54,699 Yeah, 'cause, hello, these are not her boobies. 37 00:02:54,780 --> 00:02:56,539 These are her breasts. 38 00:02:57,220 --> 00:03:01,060 Okay, Pheebs. I was hoping for more of a change. 39 00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:02,979 I don't know why you're so embarrassed. 40 00:03:03,060 --> 00:03:05,220 They were very nice boobies. 41 00:03:06,060 --> 00:03:07,940 Nice? They were nice? 42 00:03:08,819 --> 00:03:12,180 I mean, t-t-that's it? I mean, mittens are nice. 43 00:03:13,180 --> 00:03:17,180 Okay. Rock. Hard place. Me. 44 00:03:20,299 --> 00:03:24,259 You're… you're… you're so funny. 45 00:03:24,819 --> 00:03:26,460 He's really funny. 46 00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:30,340 I wouldn't want to be there when-when the laughter stops. 47 00:03:31,620 --> 00:03:33,379 Back up there, sparky. 48 00:03:34,819 --> 00:03:36,539 What did you mean by that? 49 00:03:36,620 --> 00:03:38,060 Well, it just seems as though that 50 00:03:38,139 --> 00:03:39,620 maybe you have intimacy issues, you know 51 00:03:39,699 --> 00:03:44,460 that you use your humor as a way of keeping people at a distance. 52 00:03:46,180 --> 00:03:49,819 I mean, hey. I just met you. I don't know you from Adam. 53 00:03:50,699 --> 00:03:52,740 Only child, right? 54 00:03:52,819 --> 00:03:55,819 Parents divorced before you hit puberty. 55 00:03:57,620 --> 00:03:59,660 Uh-huh. How did you know that? 56 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,500 It's textbook. 57 00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:04,500 - Hey, you guys. - Hey, Joe. 58 00:04:04,579 --> 00:04:06,660 - You all know my dad. - Hey, hey, hey. 59 00:04:07,060 --> 00:04:08,060 Hey, how long you in the city? 60 00:04:08,139 --> 00:04:10,539 Just for a couple of days. I got a job Midtown. 61 00:04:10,620 --> 00:04:12,299 I figured I'm better off staying with the kid 62 00:04:12,379 --> 00:04:15,259 than hauling my ass back and forth on a ferry. 63 00:04:15,340 --> 00:04:16,660 I don't know this one. 64 00:04:16,740 --> 00:04:18,579 - Oh, this is my friend, Roger. - Hi. 65 00:04:18,660 --> 00:04:20,859 - Good to meet you, Roger. - You too, sir. 66 00:04:20,940 --> 00:04:23,740 What happened to the puppet guy? 67 00:04:23,819 --> 00:04:25,220 Dad. 68 00:04:25,299 --> 00:04:27,379 Oh, oh. Excuse me. 69 00:04:27,460 --> 00:04:29,539 So, Ross, how's the wife? 70 00:04:32,020 --> 00:04:33,220 0 for two, huh? 71 00:04:33,299 --> 00:04:36,939 Uh, Chandler, quick, say something funny. 72 00:04:44,619 --> 00:04:47,260 I got to go. Miss you too. 73 00:04:47,340 --> 00:04:49,419 I love you, but it's getting real late now… 74 00:04:49,499 --> 00:04:51,059 - Let me say hi. - Oh, wha-no wait… 75 00:04:51,140 --> 00:04:55,020 Hey, ma, listen. I made the appointment with Dr. Bozita and… 76 00:04:56,179 --> 00:04:58,059 Excuse me? 77 00:05:01,059 --> 00:05:03,700 Did you know this isn't ma? 78 00:05:11,179 --> 00:05:12,900 Her name's Ronni. 79 00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:16,140 She's a pet mortician. 80 00:05:19,380 --> 00:05:20,660 Sure. 81 00:05:21,260 --> 00:05:22,900 So, how long you been… 82 00:05:25,380 --> 00:05:27,419 Remember when you were a little kid, I used to take you 83 00:05:27,499 --> 00:05:29,660 to the navy yard and show you the big ships? 84 00:05:29,739 --> 00:05:31,059 Since then? 85 00:05:31,140 --> 00:05:33,260 No. It's only been six years. 86 00:05:33,340 --> 00:05:35,340 I just wanted to put a nice memory in your head 87 00:05:35,419 --> 00:05:38,340 so you'd know I wasn't always such a terrible guy. 88 00:05:40,900 --> 00:05:43,979 Joe, you ever been in love? 89 00:05:45,099 --> 00:05:46,099 I don't know. 90 00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:49,739 Then you haven't. You're burning your tomatoes. 91 00:05:50,419 --> 00:05:51,660 You're one to talk. 92 00:05:53,859 --> 00:05:56,900 Joe, your dad's in love big time and the worst part of it is 93 00:05:56,979 --> 00:05:58,059 it's with two different women. 94 00:05:58,140 --> 00:06:01,499 Oh, man, please tell me one of them is ma. 95 00:06:01,580 --> 00:06:03,780 Of course, of course, one of them's ma. 96 00:06:03,859 --> 00:06:05,700 What's the matter with you? 97 00:06:12,780 --> 00:06:15,020 It's like if you woke up one day 98 00:06:15,099 --> 00:06:17,979 and found out your dad was leading this double life. 99 00:06:18,059 --> 00:06:21,179 He's, like, actually some spy working for the CIA. 100 00:06:22,900 --> 00:06:24,499 That would be cool. 101 00:06:24,820 --> 00:06:26,580 This blows. 102 00:06:27,660 --> 00:06:30,820 Yeah. I know. I mean, why can't parents just stay parents? 103 00:06:30,900 --> 00:06:33,299 Why do they have to become people? 104 00:06:33,380 --> 00:06:34,900 Why do they have… 105 00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,419 Why… 106 00:06:38,660 --> 00:06:41,979 …can't you stop staring at my breasts? 107 00:06:43,099 --> 00:06:44,499 What? 108 00:06:46,380 --> 00:06:47,380 What? 109 00:06:48,419 --> 00:06:50,660 Did you not get a good enough look the other day? 110 00:06:50,739 --> 00:06:52,939 Alright, alright. We're all adults here. 111 00:06:53,020 --> 00:06:55,260 There's only one way to resolve this. 112 00:06:55,340 --> 00:06:57,499 Since you saw her boobies, 113 00:06:57,580 --> 00:07:00,419 I think you're going to have to show her your pee-pee. 114 00:07:08,460 --> 00:07:10,939 You know, I don't see that happening. 115 00:07:11,739 --> 00:07:15,340 Come on. He's right. Tit for tat. 116 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:21,340 Well, I'm not showing you my tat. 117 00:07:24,859 --> 00:07:26,340 - Hello? - It's Phoebe. 118 00:07:26,419 --> 00:07:28,099 And Rog. 119 00:07:29,380 --> 00:07:30,419 Come on up. 120 00:07:30,499 --> 00:07:33,380 Oh, good. Rog is here! 121 00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:37,539 - What's the matter with Rog? - It's nothing, it's a little thing. 122 00:07:37,619 --> 00:07:38,820 I hate that guy. 123 00:07:39,859 --> 00:07:42,380 What, so, he was a little analytical. 124 00:07:42,460 --> 00:07:46,020 That's what he does, you know. Come on. He's not that bad. 125 00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:47,460 That's where you're wrong. 126 00:07:47,539 --> 00:07:49,979 Why would I marry her if I thought on any level 127 00:07:50,059 --> 00:07:51,700 that she was a lesbian? 128 00:07:52,539 --> 00:07:56,260 I don't know. Maybe you wanted your marriage to fail. 129 00:08:00,780 --> 00:08:02,619 Why? Why would I? Why? 130 00:08:02,700 --> 00:08:03,900 Why? Why? Why? 131 00:08:03,979 --> 00:08:07,619 I don't know. Maybe… maybe low self-esteem. 132 00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:11,460 Maybe to compensate for overshadowing a sibling. 133 00:08:11,539 --> 00:08:13,140 - Maybe you… - Wait, wait, wait. 134 00:08:13,220 --> 00:08:15,340 Go back to that sibling thing. 135 00:08:15,419 --> 00:08:17,059 Well, I don't know. 136 00:08:17,140 --> 00:08:20,419 I don't know, it's conceivable that you wanted 137 00:08:20,499 --> 00:08:23,179 to sabotage your marriage, so that the sibling would feel like 138 00:08:23,260 --> 00:08:25,619 less of a failure in the eyes of the parents. 139 00:08:28,380 --> 00:08:33,099 That's ridiculous. I don't feel guilty for her failures. 140 00:08:35,499 --> 00:08:37,099 So, you think I'm a failure. 141 00:08:37,179 --> 00:08:38,179 - Isn't he good? - Yeah. 142 00:08:38,260 --> 00:08:41,380 No, no, that's-that's-that's not what I was saying. 143 00:08:41,460 --> 00:08:43,539 All these years, I thought you were on my side, 144 00:08:43,619 --> 00:08:46,099 but maybe what you were doing was sucking up to mom and dad, 145 00:08:46,179 --> 00:08:47,499 so they'd keep liking you better. 146 00:08:47,580 --> 00:08:50,059 Hey, I married a lesbian to make you look good. 147 00:08:54,459 --> 00:08:57,020 You're right. I mean, you're right. 148 00:08:57,100 --> 00:09:01,020 It wasn't just the Weebles, but it was the Weeble play palace 149 00:09:01,419 --> 00:09:04,539 and the Weebles cruise ship 150 00:09:04,620 --> 00:09:06,819 oh, which-which had this little lifeboat 151 00:09:06,900 --> 00:09:09,100 for the Weebles to wobble in. 152 00:09:10,419 --> 00:09:12,339 That's tough, tough stuff. 153 00:09:12,780 --> 00:09:15,660 Come on, Pheebs. We gonna catch that movie, we gotta get going. 154 00:09:15,740 --> 00:09:17,819 Um, okay. Feel better, Rachel, okay? 155 00:09:17,900 --> 00:09:19,219 Pheebs, we're gonna be late, sweetie. 156 00:09:19,299 --> 00:09:21,780 Oh, okay. Listen, thanks for everything, Mon. 157 00:09:21,860 --> 00:09:22,939 No problem. 158 00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:25,380 Listen, guys, it was great seeing you again. 159 00:09:25,459 --> 00:09:26,740 Yeah. 160 00:09:27,299 --> 00:09:29,860 Mon, uh, easy on those cookies, okay? 161 00:09:29,939 --> 00:09:34,419 Remember, they're just food. They're not love. 162 00:09:38,380 --> 00:09:40,620 I hate that guy. 163 00:09:43,299 --> 00:09:45,539 Goodnight, you guys. 164 00:09:47,339 --> 00:09:50,219 Oh, look. It's the woman we ordered. 165 00:09:54,059 --> 00:09:56,059 Hey. Can, uh, can we help you? 166 00:09:56,140 --> 00:10:00,339 Aw, no, thanks. I'm just waiting for, uh, Joey Tribbiani. 167 00:10:00,860 --> 00:10:02,780 Uh, I'm Joey Tribbiani. 168 00:10:02,860 --> 00:10:05,780 Oh, oh, no, not you. Big Joey. 169 00:10:05,860 --> 00:10:10,539 Oh, my God, you're so much cuter than your pictures. 170 00:10:12,699 --> 00:10:14,900 I'm Ronni. 171 00:10:17,059 --> 00:10:18,740 Cheese Nip? 172 00:10:20,219 --> 00:10:22,740 Uh, Joey's having an embolism 173 00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:25,140 but I'd go for a nip, you know. 174 00:10:30,620 --> 00:10:33,140 Now, you see, most people, when their pets pass on 175 00:10:33,219 --> 00:10:35,699 they want them sorta laid out like they're sleeping. 176 00:10:35,780 --> 00:10:39,780 But occasionally, you get your person who wants them in a pose 177 00:10:39,860 --> 00:10:42,459 like, ah, chasing their tail. 178 00:10:42,819 --> 00:10:46,339 Or, uh, jumping to catch a Frisbee. 179 00:10:47,100 --> 00:10:50,260 Joey, if I go first, I wanna be looking for my keys. 180 00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:53,699 That's a good one. 181 00:10:53,780 --> 00:10:56,140 - Hey, Joe. - Hey, dad. Ronni's here. 182 00:10:56,219 --> 00:10:57,539 - Huh? - Hi. 183 00:10:57,620 --> 00:10:58,939 - Hey. - Hey. 184 00:10:59,020 --> 00:11:00,059 Hello, babe. 185 00:11:00,780 --> 00:11:02,780 What are you doing here? 186 00:11:02,860 --> 00:11:05,939 Oh, uh, well, you left your good hair at my apartment. 187 00:11:06,020 --> 00:11:09,459 I figured you'd need it tomorrow for the meeting. 188 00:11:11,339 --> 00:11:13,179 Thank you… 189 00:11:14,059 --> 00:11:17,620 So, who's up for a big game of KerPlunk? 190 00:11:20,860 --> 00:11:23,620 Look, I… I shouldn't have come. 191 00:11:23,699 --> 00:11:26,219 I better get going. I don't want to miss the last train. 192 00:11:26,299 --> 00:11:28,339 No, no, hon, I don't want you taking that thing this… 193 00:11:28,419 --> 00:11:30,219 Oh, where am I gonna stay? Here? 194 00:11:32,620 --> 00:11:34,579 We'll go to a hotel. 195 00:11:35,299 --> 00:11:37,380 Go to a hotel. 196 00:11:37,459 --> 00:11:39,140 - No, you won't. - No, we won't. 197 00:11:39,219 --> 00:11:41,699 If you go to a hotel, you'll be doing stuff. 198 00:11:42,140 --> 00:11:45,380 I want you right here, where I can keep an eye on you. 199 00:11:45,459 --> 00:11:47,260 You're gonna keep an eye on us? 200 00:11:47,339 --> 00:11:49,579 That's right, mister and I don't care how old you are. 201 00:11:49,660 --> 00:11:53,140 As long as you're under my roof you're gonna live by my rules. 202 00:11:56,419 --> 00:11:59,419 And that means, no sleeping with your girlfriend. 203 00:12:00,100 --> 00:12:03,179 Wow. He's strict. 204 00:12:03,260 --> 00:12:04,699 Now, dad, you'll be in my room. 205 00:12:04,780 --> 00:12:07,020 Ronni, uh, you can stay in Chandler's room. 206 00:12:07,740 --> 00:12:09,939 Thanks. You're a good kid. 207 00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:12,419 Come on. I'll show you to my room. 208 00:12:13,699 --> 00:12:15,500 That sounds so weird when it's not followed by 209 00:12:15,579 --> 00:12:17,179 "No, thanks. It's late." 210 00:12:21,539 --> 00:12:22,860 Okay, now, this is just for tonight. 211 00:12:22,939 --> 00:12:24,660 Starting tomorrow, you got to make a change. 212 00:12:24,740 --> 00:12:27,059 - Six years is long enough. - What kind of change? 213 00:12:27,140 --> 00:12:28,620 Well, either you break it off with Ronni… 214 00:12:28,699 --> 00:12:31,339 - I can't do that. - Then you come clean with ma. 215 00:12:31,419 --> 00:12:33,020 - This is not right. - Yeah, but this… 216 00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:36,100 I don't want to hear it. Now, go to my room. 217 00:12:49,140 --> 00:12:51,100 Hey, kicky. 218 00:12:53,179 --> 00:12:55,780 - What are you doing? - Just trying to get comfortable. 219 00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:59,780 - I can't sleep in my underwear. - Well, you're gonna. 220 00:13:05,020 --> 00:13:06,059 I've been thinking. 221 00:13:06,140 --> 00:13:10,140 You know, about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls. 222 00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:15,380 Are they end-to-end or tall like pancakes? 223 00:13:16,059 --> 00:13:18,140 You know what I mean, about how I'm always going out 224 00:13:18,219 --> 00:13:19,380 with all these women. 225 00:13:19,459 --> 00:13:21,740 I always figured, when the right one comes along 226 00:13:21,819 --> 00:13:25,419 I'd be able to be a stand-up guy and go the distance, you know? 227 00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:27,539 Now, I'm looking at my dad, thinking… 228 00:13:27,620 --> 00:13:31,020 Hey, you're not him. You're you. 229 00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:32,219 When they were all over you 230 00:13:32,299 --> 00:13:34,740 to go into your father's pipe-fitting business, did you cave? 231 00:13:34,819 --> 00:13:36,339 - No. - No. 232 00:13:36,419 --> 00:13:39,699 You decided to go into the out-of-work actor business. 233 00:13:40,780 --> 00:13:43,419 And that wasn't easy, but you did it. 234 00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:46,020 And I'd like to believe that when the right woman comes along, 235 00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:48,419 you will have the courage and the guts to say: 236 00:13:48,860 --> 00:13:51,179 "No, thanks. I'm married." 237 00:13:56,699 --> 00:13:58,500 You really think so? 238 00:13:58,579 --> 00:14:00,380 Yeah, I really do. 239 00:14:00,459 --> 00:14:03,980 - Thanks, Chandler. - Get off. 240 00:14:14,380 --> 00:14:15,419 - Hi. - Hi. 241 00:14:15,500 --> 00:14:16,660 - May I help you? - Uh, yeah, uh. 242 00:14:16,740 --> 00:14:20,140 Joey said I could use your shower since, uh, Chandler's in ours. 243 00:14:21,299 --> 00:14:23,299 Okay. Who are you? 244 00:14:23,380 --> 00:14:26,059 Oh, uh, I'm Ronni. Ronni Rappelano. 245 00:14:26,660 --> 00:14:28,579 The mistress. 246 00:14:30,459 --> 00:14:32,100 - Come on in. - Oh, thanks. 247 00:14:32,179 --> 00:14:33,339 - Hi, I'm Rachel. - Hi. 248 00:14:33,419 --> 00:14:34,500 - Bathroom's up there. - Right. 249 00:14:34,579 --> 00:14:38,299 Ronni, how long would you say Chandler's been in the shower? 250 00:14:38,380 --> 00:14:40,219 Oh, like, uh, five minutes. 251 00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:41,980 Perfect. 252 00:14:43,819 --> 00:14:48,020 Fasten your seat belts. It's pee-pee time. 253 00:14:53,179 --> 00:14:56,740 - Hey, Mr. Trib. - Hey. Good morning, dear. 254 00:14:57,699 --> 00:15:02,059 Chandler Bing, it's time to see your thing. 255 00:15:13,339 --> 00:15:15,819 - What's the matter with you? - I thought it was Chandler. 256 00:15:15,900 --> 00:15:16,900 Whoa, what? 257 00:15:16,980 --> 00:15:20,579 You were supposed to be in there so, I could see your thing. 258 00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:24,260 Sorry. My thing was in there with me. 259 00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:33,780 - Hey. - Hey, Pheebs. How's it going? 260 00:15:33,860 --> 00:15:36,699 Good. Roger's having a dinner thing 261 00:15:36,780 --> 00:15:38,539 and he wanted me to invite you guys. 262 00:15:42,620 --> 00:15:46,539 - So, what's going on? - Nothing, it's… It's just… 263 00:15:47,740 --> 00:15:49,100 It's Roger, you know. 264 00:15:50,140 --> 00:15:51,819 I don't know. There's something about… 265 00:15:51,900 --> 00:15:53,740 Basically, we just feel that he's… 266 00:15:53,819 --> 00:15:56,260 - We hate that guy. - We hate him. 267 00:15:56,339 --> 00:15:57,780 - Okay. - We're sorry, Pheebs. 268 00:15:57,860 --> 00:15:58,900 - We're sorry. - Okay. 269 00:15:59,260 --> 00:16:01,380 Okay, don't you think maybe, though, that it's just that 270 00:16:01,459 --> 00:16:05,100 he's so perceptive that it freaked you out? 271 00:16:05,179 --> 00:16:07,260 No, we hate him. 272 00:16:07,339 --> 00:16:08,660 I'm sorry. 273 00:16:20,860 --> 00:16:22,299 Ma. What are you doing here? 274 00:16:22,380 --> 00:16:25,780 I came to give you this and this. 275 00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:27,459 Big ring. 276 00:16:27,539 --> 00:16:31,179 Why did you fill your father's head with all that garbage 277 00:16:31,260 --> 00:16:33,620 about making things right? 278 00:16:33,699 --> 00:16:35,939 Things were fine the way they were. 279 00:16:36,020 --> 00:16:38,660 There's chicken in there. Put it away. 280 00:16:39,179 --> 00:16:41,980 For God's sake, Joey. Really. 281 00:16:44,219 --> 00:16:45,539 Hold on. You-you knew? 282 00:16:45,620 --> 00:16:48,419 Of course, I knew. What do you think? 283 00:16:48,500 --> 00:16:50,500 Your father is no James Bond. 284 00:16:50,579 --> 00:16:52,620 You should have heard some of his cover stories. 285 00:16:52,699 --> 00:16:55,380 "I'm sleeping over at my accountant's." 286 00:16:55,459 --> 00:16:57,860 I mean, what is that? Please. 287 00:16:57,939 --> 00:16:59,219 So, then, wha-how could you… 288 00:16:59,299 --> 00:17:01,819 Do you remember how your father used to be? 289 00:17:01,900 --> 00:17:04,740 Always yelling. Always yelling. Nothing made him happy. 290 00:17:04,819 --> 00:17:07,260 Nothing made him happy, nothing. Not that wood shop. 291 00:17:07,339 --> 00:17:10,660 Not those stupid little ships in the bottle, nothing. 292 00:17:10,740 --> 00:17:11,819 Now, he's happy. 293 00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:14,980 I mean, it's nice. He has a hobby. 294 00:17:16,780 --> 00:17:20,339 Ma, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but… 295 00:17:20,419 --> 00:17:22,939 What the hell are you talking about? 296 00:17:23,699 --> 00:17:27,140 - And ma, what about you? - Me? I'm fine. 297 00:17:27,219 --> 00:17:30,340 Look, honey, in an ideal world 298 00:17:30,419 --> 00:17:35,179 there'd be no her and your father would look like Sting. 299 00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:37,739 And I'll tell you something else. 300 00:17:37,820 --> 00:17:41,699 Ever since that poodle stuffer came along 301 00:17:41,779 --> 00:17:43,459 he's been so ashamed of himself 302 00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:46,019 that he's been more attentive. 303 00:17:46,100 --> 00:17:47,779 He's been more loving. 304 00:17:47,860 --> 00:17:51,340 I mean, it's like every day's our anniversary. 305 00:17:51,419 --> 00:17:53,259 I'm happy for you? 306 00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:54,620 Well, don't be. 307 00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:57,860 I mean, because now everything's screwed up. 308 00:17:58,939 --> 00:18:02,820 I just want it the way it was. 309 00:18:02,900 --> 00:18:04,779 Ma, I'm sorry. 310 00:18:06,140 --> 00:18:07,900 I just did what I thought you'd want. 311 00:18:09,580 --> 00:18:14,019 I know you did, cookie. I know you did. 312 00:18:16,100 --> 00:18:18,140 So tell me. 313 00:18:18,860 --> 00:18:20,459 Did you see her? 314 00:18:21,540 --> 00:18:22,540 Yeah. 315 00:18:23,540 --> 00:18:26,100 You're ten times prettier than she is. 316 00:18:26,179 --> 00:18:27,939 That's sweet. 317 00:18:29,100 --> 00:18:30,820 Could I take her? 318 00:18:31,900 --> 00:18:34,499 With this ring? No contest. 319 00:18:37,900 --> 00:18:39,179 What's wrong, sweetie? 320 00:18:39,259 --> 00:18:40,620 Nothing. Nothing. 321 00:18:40,699 --> 00:18:41,779 I, now, what's wrong? 322 00:18:41,860 --> 00:18:44,340 - Come on. - Oh, okay. 323 00:18:47,340 --> 00:18:49,140 It's, I mean, it's nothing, I'm fine. 324 00:18:49,219 --> 00:18:51,259 It's just, um… it's my friends. 325 00:18:51,340 --> 00:18:54,380 They-they have a liking problem with you 326 00:18:54,459 --> 00:18:57,340 in that, um, they don't. 327 00:19:00,459 --> 00:19:01,900 They don't? 328 00:19:02,540 --> 00:19:06,100 But, you know, they don't see all the wonderfulness that I see. 329 00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:09,900 they don't see all the good stuff and all the sweet stuff. 330 00:19:09,979 --> 00:19:13,179 They just, you know, they think you're a little… 331 00:19:13,259 --> 00:19:16,300 - What? - Intense and creepy. 332 00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:21,620 But I don't. Me, Phoebe. 333 00:19:23,699 --> 00:19:25,900 I'm not at all surprised they feel that way. 334 00:19:25,979 --> 00:19:28,459 You're not? See, that's why you're so great. 335 00:19:28,540 --> 00:19:32,340 Actually, it's quite typical behavior when you have this kind of 336 00:19:32,419 --> 00:19:35,219 dysfunctional group dynamic. 337 00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:39,259 You know, this kind of co-dependent, emotionally stunted 338 00:19:39,820 --> 00:19:42,419 sitting in your stupid coffee house 339 00:19:42,499 --> 00:19:45,140 with your stupid big cups 340 00:19:45,219 --> 00:19:48,499 which, I'm sorry, might as well have nipples on them. 341 00:19:49,419 --> 00:19:50,499 And you're all, like… 342 00:19:50,580 --> 00:19:56,860 "Oh, define me. Define me. Love me! I need love!" 343 00:19:58,140 --> 00:19:59,499 So, you talked to your dad, huh? 344 00:20:00,019 --> 00:20:02,100 Yeah, he's going to keep cheating on my ma 345 00:20:02,179 --> 00:20:04,300 like she wanted, my ma's going to keep pretending 346 00:20:04,380 --> 00:20:05,900 she doesn't know, even though she does 347 00:20:05,979 --> 00:20:08,699 and my little sister, Tina, can't see her husband anymore 348 00:20:08,779 --> 00:20:10,699 'cause he got a restraining order. 349 00:20:11,620 --> 00:20:14,900 Which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today. 350 00:20:15,939 --> 00:20:19,100 Things sure have changed here on "Walton's Mountain." 351 00:20:20,900 --> 00:20:22,060 So, Joe, are you okay? 352 00:20:22,140 --> 00:20:25,660 Yeah, I guess. It's just… you know, they're parents. 353 00:20:25,739 --> 00:20:29,259 After a certain point, you got to let go. 354 00:20:29,340 --> 00:20:30,779 Even if you know better, 355 00:20:30,860 --> 00:20:33,019 you gotta let them make their own mistakes. 356 00:20:33,419 --> 00:20:36,739 And just think, in a couple of years we get to turn into them. 357 00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:38,100 Oh, please. 358 00:20:38,179 --> 00:20:40,140 If I turn into my parents, I'll either be 359 00:20:40,219 --> 00:20:43,739 an alcoholic blonde chasing after 20-year-old boys or… 360 00:20:44,459 --> 00:20:46,580 …I'll end up like my mom. 361 00:20:50,380 --> 00:20:51,380 - Hey. - Hey, Pheebs. 362 00:20:52,300 --> 00:20:53,340 How's it going? 363 00:20:54,060 --> 00:20:57,060 Oh, okay, except I broke up with Roger. 364 00:20:59,060 --> 00:21:00,140 Yeah, right. 365 00:21:00,219 --> 00:21:03,300 No, no, no. 366 00:21:03,939 --> 00:21:05,100 What happened? 367 00:21:05,179 --> 00:21:09,340 I don't know. I mean… he's a good person. 368 00:21:09,419 --> 00:21:11,060 And he can be really sweet. 369 00:21:11,140 --> 00:21:14,499 And in some ways, I think he is so right for me. 370 00:21:14,580 --> 00:21:17,939 It's just… I hate that guy. 371 00:21:24,459 --> 00:21:26,620 Hey, Joey. What's going on? 372 00:21:26,699 --> 00:21:29,860 Clear the tracks for the boobie payback express. 373 00:21:29,939 --> 00:21:32,140 Next stop, Rachel Green. 374 00:21:37,300 --> 00:21:40,459 Joey, what the hell were you doing? 375 00:21:40,540 --> 00:21:43,179 Sorry. Wrong boobies. 376 00:21:55,300 --> 00:21:56,300 Hello, Joey. 377 00:21:57,779 --> 00:21:59,380 Hello, dear.