1
00:00:31,110 --> 00:00:33,909
Joey, just slow down, they're
not gonna be sold out of papers

2
00:00:33,990 --> 00:00:35,150
at one o'clock in the morning.

3
00:00:35,230 --> 00:00:37,669
I'm excited, I've never
gotten reviewed before.

4
00:00:37,749 --> 00:00:41,230
You were so amazing as the king.
I'm really impressed, I was.

5
00:00:41,669 --> 00:00:42,869
Although you know what?

6
00:00:42,950 --> 00:00:45,829
You might wanna consider
wearing underwear next time.

7
00:00:45,910 --> 00:00:47,509
Yeah, 'cause when you sat down
on your throne,

8
00:00:47,590 --> 00:00:50,509
you could kind of see
your… royal subjects.

9
00:00:52,310 --> 00:00:53,470
Here it is, here it is!

10
00:00:54,349 --> 00:00:57,950
"The only thing worse than
the mindless adolescent direction"

11
00:00:58,029 --> 00:01:01,990
"is Joseph Tribbiani's disturbingly
unskilled portrayal of the king."

12
00:01:02,990 --> 00:01:05,310
Okay, look,
that is one guy's opinion.

13
00:01:05,389 --> 00:01:07,910
- Alright? Pheebs, read yours.
- Okay.

14
00:01:07,990 --> 00:01:11,550
"The only thing worse than the
mindless adolescent direction…"

15
00:01:11,630 --> 00:01:13,990
Does anybody have one
from a different paper?

16
00:01:15,270 --> 00:01:16,389
Ross, read yours.

17
00:01:16,990 --> 00:01:18,109
I don't want to.

18
00:01:19,910 --> 00:01:22,789
Joey, honey, they don't
know what they're talking about.

19
00:01:22,870 --> 00:01:24,149
- Yes.
- Maybe they do.

20
00:01:24,789 --> 00:01:27,669
I've been doing this 10 years
and I haven't gotten anywhere.

21
00:01:27,749 --> 00:01:29,389
- There's got to be a reason.
- Oh, come on, man,

22
00:01:29,469 --> 00:01:33,390
- You're just paying your dues.
- No, no, no it's-it's too hard.

23
00:01:33,789 --> 00:01:37,149
- It's not worth it. I quit.
- Come on, that's crazy.

24
00:01:37,229 --> 00:01:39,630
Wait, wait, wait, wait
one minute. Wait a minute.

25
00:01:39,709 --> 00:01:41,910
I believe this will
change your mind.

26
00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:43,589
"In a mediocre play,"

27
00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:47,429
"Joseph Tribbiani was able to achieve
brilliant new levels of…"

28
00:01:47,509 --> 00:01:49,069
Continued on page 153.

29
00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:50,910
"Sucking."

30
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:39,149
When I was little
I wanted to be a veterinarian,

31
00:02:39,230 --> 00:02:43,029
but then I found out you have to put
your hands into cows and stuff.

32
00:02:44,589 --> 00:02:47,350
- Hi.
- Hey.

33
00:02:47,429 --> 00:02:48,670
Are-are you okay?

34
00:02:48,749 --> 00:02:51,230
Yeah, yeah, just a tough day
at work, you know.

35
00:02:51,309 --> 00:02:53,670
A stegosaurus fell over
and trapped a kid.

36
00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:59,350
Well, look, I know this jacket.
This is the… Fun Bobby's jacket.

37
00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:01,270
Where is he? What?
He's here, isn't he?

38
00:03:01,350 --> 00:03:03,149
- Maybe.
- Don't toy with me.

39
00:03:03,909 --> 00:03:05,510
- Geller!
- Hey, Fun Bobby!

40
00:03:05,589 --> 00:03:08,270
Hey! Whoa, you been
working out, huh?

41
00:03:08,350 --> 00:03:09,350
Not at all.

42
00:03:09,709 --> 00:03:10,749
I love this guy.

43
00:03:12,270 --> 00:03:14,869
Hey, I was so psyched to hear
you're back with my sister.

44
00:03:14,950 --> 00:03:17,270
- You and me both.
- Hey, so what did I miss? Come on.

45
00:03:17,350 --> 00:03:19,790
Oh, we were trying
to make Joey feel better.

46
00:03:20,149 --> 00:03:21,790
Hey, do you need me
to pick you up?

47
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:24,749
- Uh, no, I'm alright, man, really.
- No, I'm picking you up.

48
00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:27,110
Hey, no, seriously,
I don't need you to…

49
00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:31,149
Alright! It still works.

50
00:03:31,550 --> 00:03:34,749
Okay, now, before I go, does
anybody else need to be picked up?

51
00:03:35,790 --> 00:03:36,869
I'm still gonna go.

52
00:03:37,749 --> 00:03:39,110
Okay, I'll see
you later, babe.

53
00:03:39,189 --> 00:03:42,869
Uh, public display
of affection coming up.

54
00:03:42,950 --> 00:03:44,189
You can avert your eyes.

55
00:03:51,830 --> 00:03:53,070
- See ya.
- Bye.

56
00:03:54,029 --> 00:03:56,350
- Aah, Fun Bobby is so great.
- Oh, isn't he?

57
00:03:56,950 --> 00:03:59,670
Oh, you know, I really think
this time it may work with him.

58
00:03:59,749 --> 00:04:01,390
I mean he just makes
me feel so good.

59
00:04:01,469 --> 00:04:02,909
And I've been feeling
so lousy, you know,

60
00:04:02,990 --> 00:04:05,350
last couple of months
no job, no boyfriend.

61
00:04:05,429 --> 00:04:07,429
Well, at least my cup
is half full.

62
00:04:08,270 --> 00:04:09,749
Half full of love.

63
00:04:12,670 --> 00:04:14,510
And for our two week
anniversary he's gonna take me

64
00:04:14,589 --> 00:04:16,230
to his cousin's cabin
for the weekend.

65
00:04:16,309 --> 00:04:18,149
Cabin of love.

66
00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:22,589
We went through a lot
of wine tonight, you guys.

67
00:04:22,670 --> 00:04:24,270
Really, I only had two glasses.

68
00:04:24,350 --> 00:04:25,950
- I just had a glass.
- Two.

69
00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:27,429
I had one glass.

70
00:04:27,510 --> 00:04:29,110
Uh, I had about a mugful
in this lovely

71
00:04:29,189 --> 00:04:32,149
"I got boned at the museum
of natural history" mug.

72
00:04:33,749 --> 00:04:35,629
Okay, so that's-that's

73
00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:38,670
what, two bottles and yet,
somehow we went through five?

74
00:04:45,389 --> 00:04:46,470
- Oh.
- Ooh.

75
00:04:47,429 --> 00:04:48,429
Oh.

76
00:04:51,110 --> 00:04:53,670
So what?
So he drank a lot tonight.

77
00:04:53,749 --> 00:04:55,710
Yeah, but, you know,
now that I think about it

78
00:04:55,790 --> 00:04:57,829
I don't think
I've ever seen Fun Bobby

79
00:04:57,910 --> 00:04:59,910
without, uh,
a drink in his hand.

80
00:04:59,990 --> 00:05:02,110
Yeah, and ooh,
oh, yeah, you know,

81
00:05:02,189 --> 00:05:05,069
did you notice, how he always
starts his stories with,

82
00:05:05,150 --> 00:05:08,470
"Okay, I was so wasted"
or," Oh, we were so bombed"

83
00:05:08,550 --> 00:05:13,110
or, um, "So I wake up and I'm
in this dumpster in Connecticut."

84
00:05:14,790 --> 00:05:17,590
Monica, have you ever been
with him when he wasn't drinking?

85
00:05:17,670 --> 00:05:21,350
Well, we just happen to go to a lot
of places where you might drink.

86
00:05:21,429 --> 00:05:24,429
I mean, how do you go to a wine
tasting without having a drink?

87
00:05:24,509 --> 00:05:28,230
Or-or to a club,
or to the… zoo?

88
00:05:32,710 --> 00:05:34,990
Thanks.
Rach, does this have non-fat milk?

89
00:05:35,069 --> 00:05:37,869
Um…I-I don't know.
Why don't you taste it?

90
00:05:40,230 --> 00:05:41,550
Mmm. No.

91
00:05:41,629 --> 00:05:44,189
Oh, well, too late.
Sorry, you already had some.

92
00:05:47,150 --> 00:05:49,990
What do you say we make
these coffees Irish?

93
00:05:53,749 --> 00:05:54,749
Cake!

94
00:05:56,069 --> 00:05:58,470
Yeah, we're gonna,
we're gonna get some cake.

95
00:06:00,869 --> 00:06:03,069
You know, it seems like
you've been making an awful

96
00:06:03,150 --> 00:06:04,990
lot of stuff "Irish" lately.

97
00:06:05,069 --> 00:06:06,110
Well, I would make them Belgian,

98
00:06:06,189 --> 00:06:08,910
but the waffles are hard to get
into that flask.

99
00:06:09,790 --> 00:06:11,790
- Bobby.
- Yeah, okay.

100
00:06:12,350 --> 00:06:14,350
Look, maybe
this is none of my business

101
00:06:14,429 --> 00:06:18,990
or maybe it is, I don't know,
but I'm kinda worried about you.

102
00:06:20,230 --> 00:06:21,990
Okay, look,
this isn't the first time

103
00:06:22,069 --> 00:06:23,550
somebody's said something
to me about this,

104
00:06:23,629 --> 00:06:26,949
but I don't know, I always
made excuses about it like,

105
00:06:27,030 --> 00:06:30,389
I'm just a social drinker.
Or, hey, come on, it's flag day.

106
00:06:32,869 --> 00:06:34,429
So, what are you saying now?

107
00:06:35,910 --> 00:06:38,749
I guess, I'm saying…
I'll try and quit.

108
00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:41,710
I kind of like that
you worry about me.

109
00:06:44,629 --> 00:06:46,470
So, what's going on, huh?

110
00:06:47,350 --> 00:06:49,509
I am gonna try
and quit drinking.

111
00:06:49,590 --> 00:06:50,629
Oh, why?

112
00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:56,110
- Hey.
- Hey.

113
00:06:56,189 --> 00:06:57,269
- Hey.
- Hey.

114
00:06:57,829 --> 00:06:59,389
Guess who's back
in show business?

115
00:06:59,470 --> 00:07:01,429
Ooh! Ooh! Lorne Greene?

116
00:07:04,189 --> 00:07:06,389
No. No, Pheebs. You know why?
'Cause he's dead.

117
00:07:06,470 --> 00:07:07,470
Oh, no.

118
00:07:09,790 --> 00:07:11,670
Okay, I guess it's gonna
seem kind of bittersweet now,

119
00:07:11,749 --> 00:07:13,309
but Joey, that's who.

120
00:07:13,389 --> 00:07:15,189
- Oh! Really?
- Yeah.

121
00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:18,389
My agent just called me with
an audition for "Days of Our Lives."

122
00:07:18,470 --> 00:07:19,590
Oh! Yes!

123
00:07:20,389 --> 00:07:22,429
Well, we have to celebrate.
You know what we should do?

124
00:07:22,509 --> 00:07:24,269
We should do like
a soap opera theme.

125
00:07:24,350 --> 00:07:26,429
Hey, yeah, we could all
sleep together

126
00:07:26,509 --> 00:07:28,550
and then one of us could
get amnesia.

127
00:07:31,949 --> 00:07:33,150
Hey, Rach, what time
do you get off?

128
00:07:33,230 --> 00:07:34,470
We're all gonna
do something tonight.

129
00:07:34,550 --> 00:07:37,150
Um, well, actually,
I'm already done.

130
00:07:37,230 --> 00:07:38,990
But I-I've kind of got plans.

131
00:07:40,110 --> 00:07:41,350
You have other friends?

132
00:07:42,670 --> 00:07:45,350
Yeah. I, uh,
I have… I-I have a date.

133
00:07:45,429 --> 00:07:46,990
- What?
- With a man?

134
00:07:48,749 --> 00:07:50,910
What? What is so strange
about me having a date?

135
00:07:50,990 --> 00:07:53,550
What about Ross?
I mean, are you still mad him

136
00:07:53,629 --> 00:07:54,949
'cause he made that
list about you?

137
00:07:55,030 --> 00:07:56,869
No, no, I'm not mad at him.

138
00:07:56,949 --> 00:07:59,749
I'm not really
anything at him anymore.

139
00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:02,470
- What are you talking about?
- I don't know.

140
00:08:03,629 --> 00:08:07,350
Wh-whatever I was feeling,
I'm… not.

141
00:08:07,829 --> 00:08:11,110
- But you guys came so close.
- Oh, I know. I'm sorry, you guys.

142
00:08:11,189 --> 00:08:12,509
You're just gonna have
to get used to the fact

143
00:08:12,590 --> 00:08:14,590
that I will not be dating Ross.

144
00:08:16,790 --> 00:08:17,790
Here he is.

145
00:08:18,150 --> 00:08:19,150
Hi.

146
00:08:19,230 --> 00:08:21,350
Guys. This is Russ.

147
00:08:22,350 --> 00:08:23,350
Hi.

148
00:08:34,429 --> 00:08:36,829
No. No, no, no, no, I'm not
saying you're not talented.

149
00:08:36,910 --> 00:08:38,309
You're very talented.

150
00:08:38,389 --> 00:08:40,189
It's just that with the bird
dead and all,

151
00:08:40,269 --> 00:08:41,990
there's very little act left.

152
00:08:42,869 --> 00:08:44,670
Oh, honey,
give me a break.

153
00:08:44,749 --> 00:08:46,269
Oh. I'll talk to you later.

154
00:08:46,710 --> 00:08:48,590
Well, there's
my favorite client.

155
00:08:48,670 --> 00:08:51,110
So, tell me, darling,
how was the audition?

156
00:08:51,189 --> 00:08:54,670
Well, I think it went pretty well.
I-I got a callback for Thursday.

157
00:08:55,309 --> 00:08:58,230
Joey, have you
ever seen me ecstatic?

158
00:08:58,710 --> 00:09:01,070
- No.
- Well, here it is.

159
00:09:05,269 --> 00:09:08,909
Okay, uh, listen, there's
something I wanna talk to you about.

160
00:09:09,269 --> 00:09:12,590
- The network casting lady…
- Oh, isn't Lori a doll?

161
00:09:12,669 --> 00:09:16,190
Yeah, yeah, she's great
but I kinda got the feeling

162
00:09:16,269 --> 00:09:19,190
that she was
sort of coming onto me.

163
00:09:19,710 --> 00:09:23,350
And I definitely would get the part
if I would have, you know…

164
00:09:27,789 --> 00:09:30,029
If I would have sent
the little general in.

165
00:09:32,669 --> 00:09:33,749
I see.

166
00:09:33,830 --> 00:09:36,430
Well, I'm just gonna
put in a call here

167
00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:39,269
and we'll find out what's going on
and straighten it out.

168
00:09:39,350 --> 00:09:40,350
Yeah, hi.

169
00:09:41,029 --> 00:09:42,190
Lori, please.

170
00:09:44,509 --> 00:09:45,789
Hi, darling.

171
00:09:46,190 --> 00:09:49,110
So, how about Joey Tribbiani
for the part of the cab driver?

172
00:09:49,190 --> 00:09:50,389
Isn't he terrific?

173
00:09:51,310 --> 00:09:52,310
Uh-huh.

174
00:09:53,830 --> 00:09:54,830
Uh-huh.

175
00:09:55,669 --> 00:09:57,269
Okay, doll, talk
to you later.

176
00:09:57,830 --> 00:10:00,190
Yeah, you're gonna
have to sleep with her.

177
00:10:03,509 --> 00:10:05,230
- What's the matter?
- Fun Bobby.

178
00:10:05,789 --> 00:10:08,430
- What? Isn't he sober?
- Oh, he's sober, alright.

179
00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:11,470
Just turns out that Fun Bobby
was fun for a reason.

180
00:10:12,710 --> 00:10:14,950
- Oh. Okay.
- Thanks.

181
00:10:16,310 --> 00:10:18,029
Alright, here you go, sweetie.

182
00:10:19,230 --> 00:10:20,310
Thanks.

183
00:10:20,389 --> 00:10:21,830
You want to hear
something funny?

184
00:10:21,909 --> 00:10:22,909
Oh, God, yes.

185
00:10:24,950 --> 00:10:29,110
There are no hardware stores open
past midnight in the village.

186
00:10:32,110 --> 00:10:33,149
That is funny.

187
00:10:34,710 --> 00:10:36,830
I needed to buy
a hammer the other night

188
00:10:36,909 --> 00:10:39,350
and I'm out walking
around the neighborhood.

189
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:42,990
But apparently, there
are no hardware stores

190
00:10:43,070 --> 00:10:45,470
open past midnight
in the Village.

191
00:10:50,269 --> 00:10:52,509
Say, honey, don't you have
to be at your interview now?

192
00:10:52,590 --> 00:10:53,590
Oh, yeah.

193
00:10:56,749 --> 00:10:58,389
- See you guys.
- Bye…

194
00:10:59,830 --> 00:11:01,789
…ridiculously dull Bobby.

195
00:11:03,149 --> 00:11:04,350
Oh, my God.

196
00:11:04,909 --> 00:11:06,070
It's not that bad.

197
00:11:06,149 --> 00:11:07,430
Not that bad?

198
00:11:07,909 --> 00:11:09,749
Did you not hear
the hammer story?

199
00:11:10,190 --> 00:11:12,190
Okay, okay.
Don't get all squinky.

200
00:11:13,749 --> 00:11:16,509
Maybe it was the kind of story
where you had to be there.

201
00:11:16,590 --> 00:11:18,230
But I'm going to be there

202
00:11:18,310 --> 00:11:20,549
for the rest… of my life.

203
00:11:21,269 --> 00:11:22,470
I mean, I can't
break up with him.

204
00:11:22,549 --> 00:11:23,990
I'm the one who made
him quit drinking.

205
00:11:24,070 --> 00:11:26,909
- He's dull because of me.
- Alright, don't say that.

206
00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:28,470
He's probably always been dull.

207
00:11:28,549 --> 00:11:31,230
You just…
You know, set it free.

208
00:11:33,669 --> 00:11:35,470
- Hi.
- Hey, Ross. Bah!

209
00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:38,509
Hi, Russ.

210
00:11:38,590 --> 00:11:40,749
I've just got two more tables
to clean and then we'll go, okay?

211
00:11:40,830 --> 00:11:43,869
Okay, I'll just sit here and, uh…

212
00:11:44,389 --> 00:11:45,990
…chat with your, uh…

213
00:11:47,070 --> 00:11:49,350
…friend… type… people.

214
00:11:55,269 --> 00:11:56,389
- Rachel.
- Yeah.

215
00:11:56,749 --> 00:11:57,950
- Hi.
- Hi.

216
00:11:58,029 --> 00:12:00,430
Okay, so you know what
you're doing, right?

217
00:12:01,470 --> 00:12:03,549
- Waitressing?
- Well, yeah, but no.

218
00:12:03,629 --> 00:12:05,350
I mean, um, okay.

219
00:12:05,430 --> 00:12:08,389
Doesn't-doesn't Russ
just remind you of someone?

220
00:12:08,749 --> 00:12:09,749
Huh?

221
00:12:10,149 --> 00:12:11,149
Bob Saget?

222
00:12:11,749 --> 00:12:12,749
Oh, yeah.

223
00:12:13,509 --> 00:12:15,350
No, no, no, no. Oh, oh.

224
00:12:15,749 --> 00:12:17,389
- Hi.
- Oh, my, oh.

225
00:12:17,869 --> 00:12:19,110
Wha…
What's wrong?

226
00:12:19,590 --> 00:12:20,909
I…
Okay.

227
00:12:21,230 --> 00:12:25,669
She's just upset because she buttered
a spider into her toast this morning.

228
00:12:27,230 --> 00:12:28,230
Alright.

229
00:12:30,509 --> 00:12:32,509
Listen, Pheebs,
this is gonna be okay.

230
00:12:33,590 --> 00:12:35,029
Ross, Russ. Russ, Ross.

231
00:12:36,749 --> 00:12:37,749
- Hi.
- Hi.

232
00:12:39,230 --> 00:12:41,389
Are you a, uh,
friend of Rachel's?

233
00:12:41,470 --> 00:12:42,710
Yes. Yes, I am.

234
00:12:42,789 --> 00:12:45,070
Are you a, uh,
a friend of Rachel's?

235
00:12:45,149 --> 00:12:47,590
Actually, I'm, uh,
kind of, uh…

236
00:12:48,549 --> 00:12:49,909
…you know, uh…

237
00:12:49,990 --> 00:12:54,070
…date… type… thing…
of Rachel's.

238
00:12:54,990 --> 00:12:56,590
- A date?
- Yeah.

239
00:12:56,669 --> 00:12:57,669
I'm her date.

240
00:12:58,110 --> 00:12:59,950
Oh, oh, you're, uh, you…

241
00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:02,310
Oh, you're the date?

242
00:13:02,789 --> 00:13:05,430
You know, this is actually good
because if we ever lose Ross,

243
00:13:05,509 --> 00:13:06,549
we have a spare.

244
00:13:07,110 --> 00:13:10,669
Oh, you are
the uh, paleontologist.

245
00:13:10,749 --> 00:13:12,549
Yes. Yes, I am.

246
00:13:12,629 --> 00:13:13,909
And you are a…

247
00:13:15,749 --> 00:13:16,869
Periodontist.

248
00:13:16,950 --> 00:13:19,110
See, they're
as different as night and…

249
00:13:20,509 --> 00:13:21,710
…later that night.

250
00:13:22,549 --> 00:13:25,070
Well, I am going
to, uh, get a beverage.

251
00:13:26,110 --> 00:13:28,190
Uh, it was nice-nice,
uh, meeting you.

252
00:13:28,269 --> 00:13:29,310
Ditto.

253
00:13:34,509 --> 00:13:36,749
I, uh, well, I met Russ.

254
00:13:37,710 --> 00:13:38,710
Oh.

255
00:13:39,350 --> 00:13:42,350
Hey, I didn't know we
were, uh, seeing other people.

256
00:13:42,430 --> 00:13:45,070
Well, we're not
seeing each other, so…

257
00:13:46,029 --> 00:13:48,830
Well, uh, for your information,
there's a woman at the museum

258
00:13:48,909 --> 00:13:54,110
who's curator of moths and other
uh… winged things.

259
00:13:55,509 --> 00:13:57,990
Who's, uh… let it be known
that she is drawn to me

260
00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:01,070
much like a…
Well, you know…

261
00:14:01,149 --> 00:14:03,950
Ahem, well, so far I've been
keeping her at bay,

262
00:14:04,029 --> 00:14:05,509
but if this is the deal…

263
00:14:05,590 --> 00:14:08,110
- Well, yeah, this is the deal.
- Okay, well, have a nice evening.

264
00:14:08,190 --> 00:14:09,190
Thank you.

265
00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:11,269
- Ahem. Russ, you ready?
- Yeah.

266
00:14:13,029 --> 00:14:14,310
- Bye.
- Bye.

267
00:14:17,869 --> 00:14:18,869
She's dating?

268
00:14:20,029 --> 00:14:21,509
- She's dating?
- Yes.

269
00:14:21,590 --> 00:14:23,869
Yes, but did you
see who she was dating?

270
00:14:24,830 --> 00:14:25,830
What do you mean?

271
00:14:26,350 --> 00:14:27,909
- Do you not see it?
- See what?

272
00:14:27,990 --> 00:14:30,869
I don't know what she sees
in-in that goober.

273
00:14:32,549 --> 00:14:34,029
And it…
And it takes him, what?

274
00:14:34,110 --> 00:14:37,310
Like-like, I don't know,
uh, uh, hello,

275
00:14:37,389 --> 00:14:39,470
a week to get out
a sentence?

276
00:14:40,350 --> 00:14:42,110
Yeah, it's annoying,
isn't it?

277
00:14:44,549 --> 00:14:45,549
Yeah.

278
00:14:51,869 --> 00:14:53,190
- Hey.
- Hey.

279
00:14:54,590 --> 00:14:55,590
Whoa, whoa.

280
00:14:56,749 --> 00:14:58,190
So I'm guessing
you didn't get the part

281
00:14:58,269 --> 00:15:00,509
or Italy called
and said it was hungry.

282
00:15:02,230 --> 00:15:03,749
The part's mine if I want it.

283
00:15:04,669 --> 00:15:05,869
- Oh, my God!
- Yeah.

284
00:15:05,950 --> 00:15:08,310
If I'm willing to sleep
with the casting lady.

285
00:15:08,389 --> 00:15:09,389
Oh, my…

286
00:15:10,070 --> 00:15:11,070
…God.

287
00:15:12,070 --> 00:15:15,830
Ten years I've been waiting for a
break like this Chandler, ten years.

288
00:15:15,909 --> 00:15:19,389
I mean, "Days of Our Lives",
that's actually on television.

289
00:15:20,470 --> 00:15:21,830
So what are you gonna do?

290
00:15:21,909 --> 00:15:24,029
I guess I could sleep
with her, I mean…

291
00:15:24,669 --> 00:15:26,029
But how can I do that?

292
00:15:26,110 --> 00:15:27,509
Well, I-I've got a pop up book

293
00:15:27,590 --> 00:15:29,749
that told me everything
I needed to know.

294
00:15:30,549 --> 00:15:32,549
I've never slept with
someone for a part.

295
00:15:32,629 --> 00:15:33,869
Well, is she…

296
00:15:36,110 --> 00:15:37,549
- Sorry.
- It's alright.

297
00:15:38,590 --> 00:15:40,230
- Is she good-looking?
- Yeah.

298
00:15:40,310 --> 00:15:41,669
She's totally good-looking.

299
00:15:41,749 --> 00:15:43,710
I mean, if I met her
in a bar or something,

300
00:15:43,789 --> 00:15:45,310
I'd be buying her breakfast.

301
00:15:47,950 --> 00:15:49,990
You know, after having
slept with her.

302
00:15:54,990 --> 00:15:56,749
You know, maybe this
isn't such a big deal.

303
00:15:56,830 --> 00:15:58,310
You know, I mean,
the way that I see it is.

304
00:15:58,389 --> 00:16:01,590
You get a great job
and you get to have sex.

305
00:16:02,830 --> 00:16:04,389
You know, I mean,
throw in a tree and a fat guy

306
00:16:04,470 --> 00:16:05,869
and you've got Christmas.

307
00:16:08,869 --> 00:16:12,710
I just, I just don't think that I
want it that way though, you know?

308
00:16:13,149 --> 00:16:15,470
I mean, let's say
I do make it, alright.

309
00:16:15,549 --> 00:16:17,310
I'm always gonna
look back and wonder

310
00:16:17,389 --> 00:16:20,789
if it was because of my talent
or because of, you know…

311
00:16:20,869 --> 00:16:22,350
…the little general.

312
00:16:24,190 --> 00:16:26,710
Didn't you used to call
it the little major?

313
00:16:27,549 --> 00:16:30,590
Yeah, but after Denise DeMarco,
I had to promote it.

314
00:16:35,549 --> 00:16:37,070
Can I get you
something from the bar?

315
00:16:37,149 --> 00:16:38,830
Yes, I would like something.

316
00:16:39,909 --> 00:16:41,669
No. No, thank you.

317
00:16:42,110 --> 00:16:44,590
If you want a drink,
it's okay with me.

318
00:16:44,669 --> 00:16:45,749
I've got to get used to it.

319
00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:48,310
No, really, I wouldn't
feel right about it.

320
00:16:48,710 --> 00:16:50,190
Just some water, please.

321
00:16:50,830 --> 00:16:52,389
So the light went out
in my refrigerator.

322
00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:54,950
I'd like a scotch
on the rocks with a twist.

323
00:16:55,789 --> 00:16:56,789
I'm sorry.

324
00:16:57,149 --> 00:16:59,549
Hey, we're having some
fun now, huh, Ross?

325
00:16:59,629 --> 00:17:01,430
Want to do another one,
huh, Russ?

326
00:17:03,950 --> 00:17:05,789
Okay, 11 letters.

327
00:17:06,549 --> 00:17:09,669
"Atomic element number 101
ends in ium."

328
00:17:10,149 --> 00:17:11,149
Dysprosium.

329
00:17:11,749 --> 00:17:13,110
Dysprosium?

330
00:17:13,190 --> 00:17:14,629
Try mendelevium.

331
00:17:15,070 --> 00:17:17,350
And weenie
number two has it.

332
00:17:17,830 --> 00:17:20,149
Unless, of course, nine down
"Knights in White Satin"

333
00:17:20,230 --> 00:17:21,869
was sung by the Doody Blues.

334
00:17:24,789 --> 00:17:27,749
You don't see it?
You actually don't see it?

335
00:17:27,830 --> 00:17:28,990
- What?
- Okay.

336
00:17:29,070 --> 00:17:30,670
Honey, you're dating Ross.

337
00:17:31,109 --> 00:17:32,870
No, Pheebs, I'm dating Russ.

338
00:17:32,950 --> 00:17:34,390
Russ is Ross.

339
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,509
- Russ, Ross.
- Steve, Sleeve.

340
00:17:37,069 --> 00:17:38,870
Okay, fine,
no one is named Sleeve.

341
00:17:40,390 --> 00:17:41,950
Pheebs, what the hell
are you talking about?

342
00:17:42,029 --> 00:17:43,589
Other than their names
being similar,

343
00:17:43,670 --> 00:17:45,950
I'm sorry, I do not see
what you're seeing.

344
00:17:46,430 --> 00:17:50,509
For your information it's
a card sharp not a card shark.

345
00:17:50,589 --> 00:17:52,109
You could not be more wrong.

346
00:17:52,430 --> 00:17:55,230
You could try, but you
would not be successful.

347
00:17:55,749 --> 00:17:56,870
Okay, I'm gonna get
some more coffee

348
00:17:56,950 --> 00:17:59,430
before the pinching
and eye poking begins.

349
00:18:01,630 --> 00:18:04,150
- I know what your problem is.
- Oh, you do, do you?

350
00:18:04,230 --> 00:18:05,670
Uhm-hm, you're jealous.

351
00:18:07,349 --> 00:18:09,390
Uh… of what?

352
00:18:09,470 --> 00:18:12,069
You're jealous because
I'm a real doctor.

353
00:18:14,230 --> 00:18:15,950
Hey, you're a doctor of gums.

354
00:18:16,390 --> 00:18:18,870
That's the smallest body
part you can major in.

355
00:18:19,749 --> 00:18:22,710
It's like, day one floss.
Day two here's your diploma.

356
00:18:22,789 --> 00:18:24,749
- You listen…
- No, no. Let me finish.

357
00:18:24,829 --> 00:18:27,990
- No, let me finish.
- No, you let me finish.

358
00:18:29,710 --> 00:18:31,069
- Hi.
- Hi.

359
00:18:33,190 --> 00:18:34,190
Ew.

360
00:18:34,710 --> 00:18:36,349
Ew, ew, ew…

361
00:18:40,990 --> 00:18:42,670
Did Joey say what he was
gonna do when he left?

362
00:18:42,749 --> 00:18:44,870
No. I don't even
think heknew.

363
00:18:45,509 --> 00:18:48,309
Hey, would you sleep with somebody
to get a great job?

364
00:18:48,390 --> 00:18:50,710
I don't know.
Who would I have to sleep with?

365
00:18:50,789 --> 00:18:51,829
Me.

366
00:18:54,390 --> 00:18:55,990
Why would I have
to sleep with you?

367
00:18:56,069 --> 00:18:58,230
It's my game.
You want the job, or not?

368
00:19:00,749 --> 00:19:01,870
- Hi.
- Hey.

369
00:19:01,950 --> 00:19:03,950
- Morning.
- Where are you going?

370
00:19:04,029 --> 00:19:07,150
Bobby and I are going away
for the weekend, remember?

371
00:19:08,509 --> 00:19:10,230
What's with all
the bottles of liquor?

372
00:19:10,309 --> 00:19:12,710
What's going on?
Is Bobby drinking again?

373
00:19:12,789 --> 00:19:15,269
Oh no, no, this is not for him,
this is for me.

374
00:19:16,069 --> 00:19:17,069
That way he's still sober,

375
00:19:17,150 --> 00:19:20,470
but I find his stories about
shoelaces much more amusing.

376
00:19:24,789 --> 00:19:27,390
Aah, God, even his knock
is boring.

377
00:19:30,230 --> 00:19:33,430
- Hi. I'll be ready in just a second.
- Uh, could I talk to you a minute?

378
00:19:33,509 --> 00:19:34,509
Sure.

379
00:19:36,230 --> 00:19:39,749
- This is really hard for me to say.
- Oh, God! You fell off the wagon.

380
00:19:39,829 --> 00:19:42,349
Oh, no, no.
It's about you.

381
00:19:42,870 --> 00:19:43,870
What about me?

382
00:19:44,630 --> 00:19:46,670
I think you may have
a drinking problem.

383
00:19:50,029 --> 00:19:51,029
What? These?

384
00:19:51,430 --> 00:19:52,990
No, these are…

385
00:19:53,470 --> 00:19:54,749
…for cuts and scrapes.

386
00:19:55,789 --> 00:19:57,230
Look, I am just
not strong enough

387
00:19:57,309 --> 00:20:00,230
to be in a co-dependent
relationship right now, okay?

388
00:20:01,029 --> 00:20:02,069
Oh, shoot.

389
00:20:05,069 --> 00:20:07,630
Well, anyway, I hope
we can be friends.

390
00:20:08,069 --> 00:20:09,069
Okay.

391
00:20:12,190 --> 00:20:13,789
- Take care.
- Okay, you too.

392
00:20:14,190 --> 00:20:15,190
Bye.

393
00:20:18,829 --> 00:20:19,870
What happened?

394
00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:22,990
Well, we… we kind of broke up.

395
00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:24,390
Oh.

396
00:20:29,950 --> 00:20:31,589
Does anybody want these?

397
00:20:31,670 --> 00:20:32,670
I'll take one.

398
00:20:33,670 --> 00:20:37,390
Sometimes I like to hold stuff
like this and pretend I'm a giant.

399
00:20:41,670 --> 00:20:42,829
- Hey.
- Hey.

400
00:20:42,910 --> 00:20:45,749
- How'd the callback go?
- It was unbelievable.

401
00:20:45,829 --> 00:20:47,950
I walked in there,
and she was all over me.

402
00:20:48,390 --> 00:20:50,309
- So what you do?
- Well, I couldn't do it.

403
00:20:50,390 --> 00:20:52,069
I told her I didn't wanna
get the part that way.

404
00:20:52,150 --> 00:20:53,230
- Good for you.
- Wow.

405
00:20:53,309 --> 00:20:55,509
Oh, wait, wait, wait,
but then after I left her office

406
00:20:55,589 --> 00:20:56,990
she caught up
with me at the elevator

407
00:20:57,069 --> 00:20:58,870
and offered me an even
bigger part.

408
00:20:59,390 --> 00:21:00,430
So, and?

409
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:06,190
So, you are now looking at
Dr. Drake Ramoray neurosurgeon

410
00:21:06,269 --> 00:21:08,390
recurring in at least
four episodes!

411
00:21:09,910 --> 00:21:11,430
Alright, I got to go shower.

412
00:21:24,549 --> 00:21:25,549
Hi.

413
00:21:26,109 --> 00:21:27,269
- Oh, hey.
- Hi.

414
00:21:27,710 --> 00:21:30,029
I guess you guys heard
Rachel dumped me.

415
00:21:30,430 --> 00:21:31,670
Yeah, I'm sorry, man.

416
00:21:31,749 --> 00:21:34,710
Oh, all she said was that I remind
her too much of somebody.

417
00:21:34,789 --> 00:21:37,190
Do you have any idea
who she's talking about?

418
00:21:38,150 --> 00:21:40,470
Oh, I do.
It's, it's Bob Saget.

419
00:21:42,749 --> 00:21:44,069
- She hates him.
- Hmm.

420
00:21:44,749 --> 00:21:46,990
- Hey.
- Hey, Julie.

421
00:21:47,069 --> 00:21:48,749
- Hey, how are you doing?
- Hi.

422
00:21:48,829 --> 00:21:51,789
I don't know. I mean, it's definitely
weird not being with Ross

423
00:21:51,870 --> 00:21:53,549
but I guess I'm doing okay.

424
00:21:54,309 --> 00:21:57,029
Actually, I've got some
of his stuff that he…