- Hey. - Hey. Hold on a second.
Nice.
- Hey, I got something for you. - What's this?
Eight hundred and twelve bucks.
I don't know what big Leon told you,
but it's an even thousand if you want me for the whole night.
- What is this for? - Well, I'm making money now.
And this is paying you back for head shots, electric bills
and so many slices of pizza, I can't even count.
- I love you, man. - Well, thanks, man.
Now I can get my pony.
This is a little extra something
for always being there for me.
I don't know what to say.
- What do you say? - I don't know.
- It's a bracelet. - Isn't it?
And it's engraved too. Check it out.
"To my best bud."
Thanks, best bud.
- Put it on. - Now?
No. Something this nice should be saved for a special occasion.
No, no, that's the beauty part. It goes with everything.
You put this on, you're good to go.
Man… You are so wearing that bracelet.
I so am.
You have any idea what this will do for your sex life?
It'll probably slow it down at first,
but once I get used to the extra weight, I'll be back on track.
- Well, this all looks good. - Great.
And if I wanna call for a reference on your last job?
That's there on the bottom, "see the manager, Chandler Bing".
Alright, let's see if you're as good in person
as you are on paper. Make me a salad.
A salad? I could do something a little more complicated.
No, just a salad will be fine.
Alright, you got it.
Now, I want you to tell me what you're doing while you're doing it.
Alright.
Well, I'm tearing the lettuce.
- Is it dirty? - Don't worry. I'm gonna wash it.
Don't. I like it dirty.
It's your call.
So, what're you going to do next?
Well, I thought that I would cut up the tomatoes.
Are they firm?
- They're alright. - You sure they haven't gone bad?
You sure they're not very, very bad?
No, really, they're okay.
You gonna slice them up real nice?
Actually, I was gonna do them julienne.
I'm outta here.
Yello?
No, Rachel's not here right now. Can I take a message?
Alright. And how do we spell Casey?
Is it like, "At The Bat" or "And The Sunshine Band"?
Okay. Bye-bye.
Who's this Casey?
Some guy she met at the movies.
Really? What does he want with her?
Well, I'm guessing he wants to do a little dance,
you know, make a little love.
Well, pretty much get down tonight.
I don't know. I don't get…
I don't get it, I mean, like two months ago
Rachel and I were this close, right?
Now I'm taking messages from guys she meets at the movies?
This Casey should be taking down my messages, you know?
Or Rachel and I should be together and we should get
some kind of message service.
Hang in there. It's gonna happen.
How do you know that?
Because she's your lobster.
She's going somewhere.
Come on, you guys, it's a known fact
that lobsters fall in love and mate for life.
And you know what, you can actually see
old lobster couples walking around their tank holding claws, like…
Hey, you feeling better?
Yeah, I think that fifth shower actually got the interview off me.
So, do you have any other possibilities?
Yeah, there is the possibility that I won't make rent.
Monica, if you want, I can lend you some money.
No, no, because if I couldn't pay you back right away
then I'd feel guilty and tense every time I saw you.
Okay. Well, then why don't you borrow it from mom and dad?
You feel guilty and tense around them already.
You might as well make some money off of them.
You know, the man's got a point.
What is that sparkly thing?
That thing? It's a…
Yeah, it's a little flashy.
No, no. No, no.
It's not flashy, not for a Goodfella.
Man! Man, that is sharp.
That must have cost you quite a few doubloons.
- Hi. - Hi.
- Hi, darling. - So, what's this?
Some of your old stuff.
Well, sweetie, we have a surprise for you.
We're turning your room into a gym.
Wow, that is a surprise. Just one little question.
Why not Ross' room?
Gosh, we talked about that,
but your brother has so many science trophies
and plaques and merit badges.
Well, we didn't want to disturb them.
God forbid.
- Hi. - Hi.
Rachel. We were so sorry to hear about your parents splitting up.
You know, they're just separated,
so, you know, never know. We'll see.
I can't say any of us were surprised.
Your parents have been unhappy ever since we've known them.
Especially after that incident in Hawaii.
What incident?
No, no. I must be thinking of someone else.
Maybe me.
Don't you have some folding to do?
Go fold, dear, fold. You fold. Go ahead.
- Do you want a refill? - No, I'm alright. Thanks.
You gotta give me a second. I want to get this just right. Okay.
Dude, 11 o'clock, totally hot babe checking you out.
That was really good. Think I'm ready for my penis now.
I know what you're thinking. Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's.
- I'm Gail. - Chandler.
I really have to be somewhere, but it was nice meeting you.
What?
This is excellent. He could have got me a VCR,
a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the woman repeller.
The eyesore from the Liberace House of Crap!
- It's not that bad. - Yeah, easy for you to say.
You don't have to sport some reject from the Mr. T collection.
Chandler…
"I pity the fool that puts on my jewellery! I do! I do!"
"I pity the fool that…"
Hey, man! We were just doing some impressions over here.
Do your Marcel Marceau.
That's actually good.
Would you look at that guy? How long has he been talking to her?
It's like, back off, buddy.
She's a waitress, not a geisha.
I think she's okay.
Look at that.
See how she's pushing him away, and he won't budge?
I'm gonna do something.
You can get a condo on the mountainside. You ski in,
ski out. It's great.
Excuse me? Are you Rachel?
What?
Ross Geller.
Well, God, in your ad you said you were pretty, but wow.
What are you doing?
Oh my God. Is this the wrong day?
I don't believe it. I guess if it works out,
we'll have something to tell the grandkids.
- You sure will. - Right?
- I've got to go. - Alright.
- Wait. - Take care.
Okay. See you later. Nice meeting you.
You're welcome.
- What? - I was saving you.
Saving me from the pleasant conversation
with the interesting man?
See, from where I was sitting…
Ross, listen to me. I am not yours to save.
- But you are. - What?
Well, you're my lobster.
Okay, are you being like, the blind date guy again?
No, no. You're my lobster.
See, lobsters,
in the tank, when they're old,
they get with the, they walk around holding the claws.
In the tank, you know, with the holding?
Pheebs, you wanna help me out with the whole lobster thing?
Do the claws again.
Rach, forget the lobsters, okay? Let's talk… What about us?
Ross, there is no us.
- Okay? - No, but…
No, listen to me.
I fell for you and I get clobbered.
You, then, fall for me and I, again, somehow get clobbered.
I'm tired of being clobbered, you know?
It's just not worth it.
- Well, but… - No "but" Ross.
We are never gonna happen, okay? Accept that.
Except that what?
No.
Accept that.
Hey, man. Look, it's my best bud. How you doing?
You are really getting good at that Marcel Marceau thing.
Hey, listen, what do you say we play some ball? You and me.
Okay, that's my bad.
If you hated the bracelet so much, Chandler, you should've just said so.
Doesn't the fact that I wore it even though I hated it
say something about our friendship and how much it means to me?
What about the fact that you insulted the bracelet
and you made fun of me?
Well, that's the part where I'm a wank.
But I was hoping we wouldn't focus on that.
Come on, man, I said I was sorry like a hundred times.
I promise, I will never take it off my… wrist.
But if you want to stay in there and be mad,
you know, you just, you stay in there.
You know what?
I am here on my knees,
holding up these couch cushions
as a symbol of my sorrow and regret,
much like they did in biblical times.
Though you may haveth anger now…
You know that Steffi Graf has quite a tush.
I'm just saying. It's right there.
- Hey, guys. - Hi, darling.
Where's my grandson? You didn't bring him?
No, he's at Carol's and Susan's today.
A woman in my office is a lesbian.
I'm just saying.
Jack, look, there's that house paint commercial
that cracks you up.
- Where have you been? - Emotional hell.
Did they lend you the money yet?
- No, but I haven't asked them yet. - Come on, Monica, do it.
Hey, you guys. Monica has some news.
Yeah, so…
Listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before,
but I'm no longer at my job. I had to leave it.
- Why? - Because they made me.
You were fired?
- What are you gonna do? - Judy, relax.
This is our little harmonica we're talking about.
We taught her well.
Ten percent of your pay check, where does it go?
- In the bank. - The bank…
There you go. So she dips into her savings.
That's what it's there for. She's gonna be fine.
And if you need a little extra you know where to find it.
Anything larger back there?
I can't believe it.
Would you stop already? God, get out of the bitter barn
and play in the hay.
You're right. I should play in the hay.
Forget about the fact that I just dropped 400 dollars
to replace a bracelet that I hated to begin with.
Bring on the hay.
Hey.
I've got something that's gonna make you happy.
Guess what Gunther found.
Hey, now you have two.
Now you have two…
What am I gonna do?
Hey.
How come you have two?
Well, this one's for you.
- Get out. - No, I can't.
No, no, listen I know how much this means to you
and I also know that this is about more than just jewellery.
It's about you and me and the fact that we're best buds.
Is this friendship? I think so.
Check it out. We're bracelet buddies.
That's what they'll call us.
Here you go. You can pay me back whenever you like.
You have dinosaur checks?
Yeah, I mean, you get your money
and you learn a little something. What's wrong with that?
Nothing.
Hey, you're a cheapasaurus.
I'm kidding.
Thank you. I'm very grateful.
Hey, Mon, what is this?
That was my bathing suit from high school.
I was a little bigger then.
I thought that's what they use to cover Connecticut when it rains.
Hey, Monica, what's on this videotape?
I don't know. You got me. Let's put it in.
- Hi. - Hey.
Over here, Jack.
Okay. I see Rachel's coming up the path.
Doesn't she look pretty? Jack, can you get this?
Oh, my God.
What is with your nose?
They had to reduce it because of my deviated septum.
Okay, I was wrong. That's what they use to cover Connecticut.
You know what this is? This is us getting ready for the prom.
You know what, you guys? We don't have to watch this.
- Yeah, come on. - Yeah, we do.
Did you get a shot of Monica? Where's Monica?
Over here, dad.
Wait. How do you zoom out?
There she is.
Some girl ate Monica.
Shut up! The camera adds ten pounds.
So, how many cameras are actually on you?
- You look so great. - So do you. Beautiful.
- What? - Shoot.
I think I got mayonnaise on you.
That's okay, it's just the shoulder. It's not my dress.
Everybody smile.
Dad, turn it off.
- It is off. - Dad, it is not.
- What's with the red light? - That's the "off" light.
Right, Ross?
Looking good, Mr. Kotter.
- You look really pretty tonight. - Thanks.
So, what are you gonna do this summer?
You know, I'm gonna hang out and work on my music.
Is my hook unhooked? These things keep falling down.
I can't keep them up.
Let me see. I don't know.
- What are you gonna do… - The guys are here!
…this summer?
Work on your music?
Oh, my God! Look, there's Roy Gublick!
You know, Roy saw "Star Wars" 317 times.
His name was in the paper.
Where's Chip? Why isn't he here yet?
He'll be here, okay? Take a chill pill.
There.
I just told Rachel that Roy touched my boob.
I can't go to my own prom without a date. I can't. It's too lame.
If you're not going, I don't wanna go either.
I'm gonna kick Chip's ass.
I have a wonderful idea.
You should take Rachel to the prom.
Mom, doubtful.
Jack, give me that. Talk to your son.
- You got it? - I got it. This thing is heavy.
Your mother's right. Take her. You could wear my tux.
- Dad, she won't wanna go with me. - Of course she would.
You're a college man.
- I don't know. - Well, come on.
Don't you wanna find out?
I can't believe I don't get to go to my own prom.
This is so harsh.
Okay.
- Hold my board. - Atta boy.
You guys, you know, I think we've seen enough.
- Let's turn it off. - No!
Okay, fine. Well, I'm not gonna watch, alright?
Come on, kid. Let's go.
Boy, are you handsome!
- Let's show them. - Just a sec, dad.
Be cool. Just be cool.
Okay, dad.
Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight in shining…
Oh, no.
- Bye, don't wait up! - Bye, you guys! Chip, stop!
Oh, dear. Jack, how do I turn this off?
- Press the button. - Which one? Which button?
- Jack? - The button.
I can't believe you did that.
Yeah, well…
See? He's her lobster.
Dance with him.
- Mom, I'm hungry. - Dance with your father.
I may not know any of your flash dances,
but I'm no slouch on the dance floor.
Alright.
- Oh, Jack! - Oh, Judy!
Oh, Judy. Yes! Yes!