1
00:00:07,671 --> 00:00:09,338
Huh.

2
00:01:04,713 --> 00:01:07,296
I say "Tupelo Honey" by Van Morrison.

3
00:01:07,380 --> 00:01:08,838
No way!

4
00:01:08,921 --> 00:01:11,838
The most romantic song ever
was "The Way We Were."

5
00:01:11,921 --> 00:01:16,963
Ah, I think the one that Elton John wrote
for, um, that guy on Who's the Boss?

6
00:01:19,088 --> 00:01:21,130
–What song was that?
–Um…

7
00:01:21,213 --> 00:01:24,338
Hold me close, young Tony Danza

8
00:01:29,088 --> 00:01:30,671
– Hi, Monica.
– Hi, Mon.

9
00:01:30,755 --> 00:01:32,421
Hey, Mon.

10
00:01:34,296 --> 00:01:35,838
Oh, my God!

11
00:01:35,921 --> 00:01:37,838
–Has she slept at all?
– Nope.

12
00:01:37,921 --> 00:01:39,963
It's been three nights in a row.

13
00:01:40,046 --> 00:01:41,921
She finally stopped crying yesterday.

14
00:01:42,005 --> 00:01:45,213
But then she found one of Richard's
cigar butts on the terrace…

15
00:01:45,296 --> 00:01:49,796
Oh. Okay, that explains it.
I got a call at 2:00 in the morning,

16
00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:52,255
and all I could hear
was this squeaky sound.

17
00:01:52,338 --> 00:01:54,880
So I thought,
"Oh, it's a mouse or a possum."

18
00:01:56,630 --> 00:02:00,046
Then I realized, like, okay,

19
00:02:00,130 --> 00:02:04,088
where would a mouse or a possum
get the money to make the phone call?

20
00:02:06,963 --> 00:02:09,463
– Morning.
–Morning. Hey.

21
00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,463
You made pancakes?

22
00:02:12,796 --> 00:02:15,005
Yeah, like there's any way
I could ever do that.

23
00:02:15,671 --> 00:02:18,671
Monica and Rachel had syrup

24
00:02:18,755 --> 00:02:22,130
Uh, uh
Now I can get my man to cheer up

25
00:02:24,796 --> 00:02:26,296
Good morning, Joey.

26
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:27,671
Good morning.

27
00:02:28,713 --> 00:02:29,921
Here's a thought.

28
00:02:30,005 --> 00:02:32,713
Why don't you stay home from work
and just hang out with me?

29
00:02:32,796 --> 00:02:34,171
Oh, I wish.

30
00:02:34,255 --> 00:02:37,546
You have that report to finish,
and I've got to see my lawyer.

31
00:02:37,630 --> 00:02:40,921
I can't believe I date
a girl who's getting divorced.

32
00:02:41,005 --> 00:02:43,505
–I'm such a grownup.
–Ha–ha–ha.

33
00:02:43,588 --> 00:02:45,380
I gotta go, I gotta go.

34
00:02:45,463 --> 00:02:46,713
Not without a kiss.

35
00:02:46,796 --> 00:02:49,046
Maybe I won't kiss you so you'll stay.

36
00:02:49,130 --> 00:02:51,380
Kiss her. Kiss her.

37
00:02:53,380 --> 00:02:55,838
I'll see you later, sweetie.
Bye, Joey.

38
00:02:55,921 --> 00:02:58,046
Bye–bye, Janice.

39
00:03:00,130 --> 00:03:01,755
So when are you dumping her?

40
00:03:01,838 --> 00:03:03,255
Nope.

41
00:03:03,338 --> 00:03:04,505
Not this time.

42
00:03:04,588 --> 00:03:06,963
Heh. Come on, quit yanking me.

43
00:03:10,421 --> 00:03:12,088
I'm not yanking you.

44
00:03:13,671 --> 00:03:15,880
–This is Janice.
–Yeah, I know.

45
00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:17,421
She makes me happy.

46
00:03:18,963 --> 00:03:20,963
Okay. All right.

47
00:03:21,046 --> 00:03:24,588
You look me in the eye and tell me,
without blinking,

48
00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:27,380
that you're not breaking up
with her. No blinking.

49
00:03:30,421 --> 00:03:32,005
I'm not breaking up with her!

50
00:03:39,338 --> 00:03:40,463
What's that?

51
00:03:40,546 --> 00:03:43,338
God, look what I found in the drain!

52
00:03:43,421 --> 00:03:44,796
What?

53
00:03:45,838 --> 00:03:48,380
It's some of Richard's hair!

54
00:03:48,463 --> 00:03:50,088
What do I do with this?

55
00:03:50,171 --> 00:03:53,171
Getting it away from me
would be job one.

56
00:03:54,296 --> 00:03:57,505
It's weird, but I don't want
to throw this away.

57
00:03:57,588 --> 00:03:59,713
This is all I have left of him.

58
00:03:59,796 --> 00:04:01,380
Gross…

59
00:04:02,171 --> 00:04:03,255
drain hair.

60
00:04:03,338 --> 00:04:05,088
Ew!

61
00:04:09,755 --> 00:04:14,880
Cool! Oh, it looks like a tiny
little person drowning in your cereal.

62
00:04:17,505 --> 00:04:20,421
–God, what is wrong with me?
–You need to get some sleep.

63
00:04:20,505 --> 00:04:21,963
I need to get some Richard.

64
00:04:25,588 --> 00:04:27,921
You broke up with him for a reason.

65
00:04:28,005 --> 00:04:32,088
I know. I know.
I'm just so tired of missing him.

66
00:04:32,171 --> 00:04:35,171
Tired of wondering why he
hasn't called. Why hasn't he?

67
00:04:35,255 --> 00:04:37,463
Maybe because you told him not to?

68
00:04:38,421 --> 00:04:40,671
What are you, the Memory Woman?

69
00:04:42,463 --> 00:04:44,755
They're not breaking up!
Chandler and Janice?

70
00:04:44,838 --> 00:04:47,213
They're not breaking up!
He didn't blink!

71
00:04:48,796 --> 00:04:51,338
I'm not surprised.
Have you seen them together?

72
00:04:51,421 --> 00:04:52,588
They're really cute.

73
00:04:52,671 --> 00:04:55,838
"Cute"? This is Janice!

74
00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:57,421
You remember Janice?

75
00:04:57,505 --> 00:05:00,130
Yes, I remember. She's annoying.
But you know what?

76
00:05:00,213 --> 00:05:02,796
She's his girlfriend now.
I mean, what can we do?

77
00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:06,671
There you go! That's the spirit
I'm looking for! "What can we do?"

78
00:05:07,505 --> 00:05:08,713
Huh?

79
00:05:08,796 --> 00:05:11,213
All right, who's first, huh? Ross?

80
00:05:11,296 --> 00:05:14,255
Chandler's our friend,
and Janice makes him happy.

81
00:05:14,338 --> 00:05:17,005
So I say we be adult about it
and accept her.

82
00:05:17,088 --> 00:05:19,046
We'll call that Plan B.

83
00:05:41,505 --> 00:05:42,755
Honey…

84
00:05:42,838 --> 00:05:45,255
–I was wondering…
–Mmm.

85
00:05:45,338 --> 00:05:49,171
Do you still have
that, um, Navy uniform?

86
00:05:50,630 --> 00:05:53,463
No, I had to return it
to the costume place.

87
00:05:53,546 --> 00:05:54,755
Oh.

88
00:05:54,838 --> 00:05:56,880
I think I have an old band uniform
from high school.

89
00:05:57,880 --> 00:06:00,213
You remember not having sex
in high school, right?

90
00:06:00,296 --> 00:06:02,130
Yeah.

91
00:06:05,963 --> 00:06:07,463
Well, honey, what about you?

92
00:06:07,546 --> 00:06:08,755
–What?
–I mean…

93
00:06:10,046 --> 00:06:15,046
Do you have any fun, you know,
fantasy–type things?

94
00:06:16,046 --> 00:06:17,630
No.

95
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:20,796
Come on. You gotta have one.

96
00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:22,880
Nope.

97
00:06:23,963 --> 00:06:25,671
–Ross, you know what?
–What?

98
00:06:25,755 --> 00:06:29,463
If you tell me, I might do it.

99
00:06:37,171 --> 00:06:38,921
Okay.

100
00:06:39,171 --> 00:06:40,921
–Ahem.
–Um.

101
00:06:41,005 --> 00:06:44,921
Did you ever see, um,
Return of the Jedi?

102
00:06:50,921 --> 00:06:52,630
Yeah.

103
00:06:53,921 --> 00:06:56,588
Do you remember the scene

104
00:06:58,255 --> 00:07:00,421
with, um, Jabba the Hutt?

105
00:07:02,463 --> 00:07:06,338
Jabba had as his prisoner,

106
00:07:06,421 --> 00:07:07,630
Princess Leia.

107
00:07:09,046 --> 00:07:11,296
Oh.

108
00:07:11,921 --> 00:07:13,713
Princess Leia was wearing

109
00:07:13,796 --> 00:07:18,463
this, um, gold bikini thing.

110
00:07:20,755 --> 00:07:22,796
It was pretty cool.

111
00:07:25,255 --> 00:07:29,380
Yeah, Princess Leia and the gold bikini?
Oh, every guy our age loved that.

112
00:07:31,463 --> 00:07:33,088
–Really?
–Mmm–hmm. Mmm.

113
00:07:33,463 --> 00:07:37,255
It's huge! That's the moment when
she stopped being a princess

114
00:07:37,338 --> 00:07:40,088
and she became, like, you know, a woman.

115
00:07:41,963 --> 00:07:44,838
Did you ever do the Leia thing?

116
00:07:44,921 --> 00:07:46,713
Oh, yeah. Mmm–hmm.

117
00:07:50,130 --> 00:07:52,963
Really? That great, huh?

118
00:07:53,046 --> 00:07:56,630
No, it's just that I got this new
pager, and I have it on "vibrate."

119
00:08:01,671 --> 00:08:03,213
See you.

120
00:08:03,296 --> 00:08:04,588
Hey.

121
00:08:04,671 --> 00:08:05,838
Hi, you guys!

122
00:08:05,921 --> 00:08:08,588
Look who I found standing
outside the Szechuan Dragon

123
00:08:08,671 --> 00:08:11,296
staring at a parking meter.

124
00:08:11,380 --> 00:08:15,921
–Ahem. Mon. Hi.
–Hi.

125
00:08:16,005 --> 00:08:19,338
–Why aren't you at work?
–Oh, they sent me home.

126
00:08:19,421 --> 00:08:20,963
Why?

127
00:08:21,046 --> 00:08:23,880
Because I don't work
at the Szechuan Dragon.

128
00:08:23,963 --> 00:08:26,338
You really need to get some sleep.

129
00:08:26,421 --> 00:08:27,671
I know I do.

130
00:08:27,755 --> 00:08:29,296
–Hi.
–Hi.

131
00:08:29,380 --> 00:08:31,338
Guess what? They published my paper.

132
00:08:31,421 --> 00:08:34,505
–Oh! Really? Let me see, let me see.
–Uh–huh.

133
00:08:34,588 --> 00:08:36,088
Rach, look!

134
00:08:36,171 --> 00:08:37,255
– No.
–Ooh.

135
00:08:37,338 --> 00:08:39,088
Hi. Ha, ha.

136
00:08:40,088 --> 00:08:42,130
Ha, ha! Oh.

137
00:08:42,213 --> 00:08:44,880
Where is my strong Ross Skywalker
to come rescue me?

138
00:08:51,213 --> 00:08:52,255
There he is!

139
00:08:56,921 --> 00:08:58,421
–Hey.
–Wheel!

140
00:08:58,505 --> 00:09:00,838
–Of!
–Fortune!

141
00:09:01,963 --> 00:09:03,255
This guy's so stupid.

142
00:09:03,338 --> 00:09:04,921
It's Count Rushmore!

143
00:09:09,213 --> 00:09:11,130
You should really go on this show.

144
00:09:12,963 --> 00:09:16,838
I got three tickets to
the Rangers tonight. What do you say?

145
00:09:16,921 --> 00:09:19,088
I say I am there!

146
00:09:19,171 --> 00:09:20,963
Cool! Oh.

147
00:09:21,046 --> 00:09:22,213
Is Ross going, too?

148
00:09:22,296 --> 00:09:23,755
No. Janice.

149
00:09:23,838 --> 00:09:25,880
Janice?

150
00:09:26,463 --> 00:09:30,088
Because I just feel bad for Ross,
you know?

151
00:09:30,171 --> 00:09:34,838
We always go together. We're like
The Three Hockey–teers, you know?

152
00:09:35,421 --> 00:09:39,880
I may be way out on a limb here,
but do you have a problem with Janice?

153
00:09:39,963 --> 00:09:41,755
No!

154
00:09:42,421 --> 00:09:43,546
Yes…

155
00:09:44,296 --> 00:09:46,921
Oh, God, how do I say this? Uh…

156
00:09:47,755 --> 00:09:49,838
Oh! Ah!

157
00:09:50,296 --> 00:09:52,796
You know that girl from the
restaurant with the hair?

158
00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:56,171
Ooh! That girl that I hate?
Ugh! She drives me crazy. Ew.

159
00:09:56,255 --> 00:09:57,963
Oh.

160
00:09:58,046 --> 00:10:02,505
Look, I don't hate Janice.
She's just a lot to take, you know?

161
00:10:05,130 --> 00:10:07,463
–Well, there you go.
–Oh.

162
00:10:07,546 --> 00:10:09,546
Don't look at me like that.

163
00:10:09,630 --> 00:10:12,005
She drove you nuts before, too, remember?

164
00:10:12,088 --> 00:10:15,463
I'm crazy about her now.
This could be the real thing.

165
00:10:15,546 --> 00:10:17,546
Capital R, capital T!

166
00:10:19,588 --> 00:10:22,463
Don't worry, those are the right letters.

167
00:10:23,213 --> 00:10:26,338
Look, what do you want me to say?

168
00:10:27,171 --> 00:10:29,046
I want you to say that you like her!

169
00:10:29,130 --> 00:10:32,171
I can't. It's like this chemical thing,
you know?

170
00:10:32,255 --> 00:10:35,213
Every time she starts laughing,
I just wanna…

171
00:10:37,755 --> 00:10:41,005
…pull my arm off so
I have something to throw at her.

172
00:10:43,505 --> 00:10:44,505
Thanks for trying.

173
00:10:46,255 --> 00:10:50,088
Oh, and by the way,
there is no Count Rushmore!

174
00:10:50,755 --> 00:10:53,505
Then who's the guy that painted
the faces on the mountain?

175
00:10:59,546 --> 00:11:01,296
–Ugh.
–How could you tell her?

176
00:11:01,380 --> 00:11:04,130
I didn't think
it would be that big a deal!

177
00:11:04,213 --> 00:11:06,171
Oh. She didn't think
it would be a big deal!

178
00:11:06,255 --> 00:11:08,630
Who are you talking to when you do that?

179
00:11:10,046 --> 00:11:14,255
Look, that was supposed to be
a private, personal thing between us.

180
00:11:14,338 --> 00:11:18,713
Phoebe is my girlfriend, okay?
We tell each other everything.

181
00:11:18,796 --> 00:11:20,880
Guys do the same thing.

182
00:11:20,963 --> 00:11:24,005
I mean, what about all that
locker–room stuff?

183
00:11:24,088 --> 00:11:27,046
That's different.
That's like, uh, who dated a stripper?

184
00:11:27,130 --> 00:11:30,505
Or who did it on the back
of the Staten Island ferry?

185
00:11:31,505 --> 00:11:32,671
–Both of those Joey?
–Yeah.

186
00:11:34,046 --> 00:11:37,421
But you don't talk about your girlfriend

187
00:11:37,505 --> 00:11:40,588
and the intimate stuff you do with her.

188
00:11:41,463 --> 00:11:43,671
–Not even with your best friend?
–No.

189
00:11:43,755 --> 00:11:44,755
That is so sad.

190
00:11:46,463 --> 00:11:48,921
You're missing out on so much.

191
00:11:49,213 --> 00:11:51,838
I mean, the bonding and the sharing.

192
00:11:52,088 --> 00:11:55,630
And knowing they're going through
the same thing you are.

193
00:11:55,713 --> 00:12:00,296
Oh. So, what, you tell each
other everything?

194
00:12:01,255 --> 00:12:02,255
Pretty much.

195
00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:08,713
Did you talk about
the Night of Five Times?

196
00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:14,838
Do you tell people about
the Night of Five Times?

197
00:12:14,921 --> 00:12:17,338
Uh, honey, that was with Carol.

198
00:12:17,421 --> 00:12:20,880
I know, but it's still worth
mentioning, I think.

199
00:12:22,505 --> 00:12:26,088
Relax every muscle in your body.

200
00:12:27,838 --> 00:12:31,838
Listen to the plinky–plunky music.

201
00:12:32,796 --> 00:12:35,713
Okay, now close your eyes,

202
00:12:35,796 --> 00:12:38,796
and think of a happy place.

203
00:12:39,171 --> 00:12:40,713
Tell me your happy place.

204
00:12:40,796 --> 00:12:43,338
Richard's living room, drinking wine.

205
00:12:43,421 --> 00:12:48,796
No, no, no. Not a Richard thing.
Just put down the glass and get out.

206
00:12:49,505 --> 00:12:51,880
I'm sorry, but that's my happy place.

207
00:12:51,963 --> 00:12:56,880
Okay, fine. Use my happy place.
Just don't move anything in there.

208
00:12:58,338 --> 00:12:59,505
I'll try not to.

209
00:12:59,588 --> 00:13:03,755
Okay. All right, so, you're in a meadow,

210
00:13:03,838 --> 00:13:06,588
millions of stars in the sky…

211
00:13:06,671 --> 00:13:08,838
You think breaking up was a mistake?

212
00:13:08,921 --> 00:13:11,380
There are no questions in the happy place.

213
00:13:12,671 --> 00:13:19,046
Just the warm breeze and the
moonlight flowing through the trees.

214
00:13:19,130 --> 00:13:21,546
I'll bet he's over me.
I'll bet he's fine.

215
00:13:21,630 --> 00:13:25,463
Betting and wagering of any kind
are not permitted in the happy place.

216
00:13:25,921 --> 00:13:27,088
Okay?

217
00:13:27,171 --> 00:13:30,796
There's just, you know,
the lovely waterfalls

218
00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:33,505
and the trickling fountains,

219
00:13:33,588 --> 00:13:38,630
and the calming sounds
of the babbling brook.

220
00:13:38,713 --> 00:13:40,630
–Okay, this isn't working.
–Oh.

221
00:13:40,713 --> 00:13:42,338
I'm still awake,
and now I have to pee.

222
00:13:42,421 --> 00:13:43,880
Oh.

223
00:13:44,255 --> 00:13:46,005
So I hear…

224
00:13:46,088 --> 00:13:47,338
you hate me!

225
00:13:48,713 --> 00:13:53,046
I, uh, never said "hate."
I was very careful about that.

226
00:13:53,130 --> 00:13:58,463
A little birdie told me you wanting to
rip your arm off and throw it at me.

227
00:14:00,088 --> 00:14:04,421
And you got "hate" from that?
You're taking a big leap there, I, uh…

228
00:14:04,505 --> 00:14:06,463
All right, fine, fine, fine!

229
00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:10,463
We have got to do something about
our little situation here.

230
00:14:10,546 --> 00:14:12,296
So this is my idea.

231
00:14:12,380 --> 00:14:16,130
You and me spending
some quality time together.

232
00:14:17,505 --> 00:14:18,671
But what does that––

233
00:14:18,755 --> 00:14:20,296
For Chandler!

234
00:14:21,963 --> 00:14:23,255
Okay. I'm in.

235
00:14:23,338 --> 00:14:29,546
Okay! This is what we'll call it:
Joey and Janice's Day of Fun!

236
00:14:30,421 --> 00:14:31,880
Does it have to be a day?

237
00:14:31,963 --> 00:14:36,255
Yes, because that's how long
it takes to love me.

238
00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:41,088
Yeah, I know. Ha.
I sleep in the next room.

239
00:14:45,338 --> 00:14:47,421
I went down to the post office,

240
00:14:47,505 --> 00:14:50,505
and it turns out it was
those videos that I ordered

241
00:14:50,588 --> 00:14:53,505
for Richard about the Civil War.

242
00:14:53,588 --> 00:14:55,838
He loved the Civil War.

243
00:14:57,338 --> 00:15:00,546
Do you want us to take you home?

244
00:15:00,796 --> 00:15:01,963
Uh–huh.

245
00:15:04,171 --> 00:15:06,671
Or maybe to a galaxy far, far away.

246
00:15:15,130 --> 00:15:18,046
Women tell each other everything.
Did you know that?

247
00:15:18,130 --> 00:15:20,296
Ha, ha. Yeah.

248
00:15:20,671 --> 00:15:23,171
No, Chandler, everything.

249
00:15:24,296 --> 00:15:27,130
Like stuff you like. Stuff she likes.

250
00:15:27,213 --> 00:15:30,463
Technique. Stamina. Girth.

251
00:15:31,963 --> 00:15:33,505
Girth?

252
00:15:34,380 --> 00:15:36,088
Why? Why? Why?

253
00:15:36,171 --> 00:15:38,088
Why would they do this?

254
00:15:39,296 --> 00:15:42,796
Rachel says sharing's great and supposedly

255
00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:45,380
we ought to be doing it.

256
00:15:46,421 --> 00:15:48,755
Uh, do you want to?

257
00:15:50,171 --> 00:15:52,838
–We're not gonna talk about girth?
–No.

258
00:15:53,921 --> 00:15:55,296
–Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
–Yeah?

259
00:15:55,380 --> 00:15:57,588
All right, you go first.

260
00:15:57,671 --> 00:16:00,296
–Okay. Okay, I'll go first.
–Okay.

261
00:16:00,380 --> 00:16:02,755
So, uh, the other night,

262
00:16:02,838 --> 00:16:06,505
Rachel and I are in bed
talking about fantasies.

263
00:16:06,588 --> 00:16:10,588
And I happened to describe a particular

264
00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:12,546
Star Wars thing.

265
00:16:12,630 --> 00:16:15,046
–Princess Leia and the gold bikini.
–Yes!

266
00:16:15,796 --> 00:16:17,296
–I know!
–Yes.

267
00:16:18,505 --> 00:16:20,630
Whoa. Wow.

268
00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:22,296
–Well, that was easy.
–

269
00:16:22,380 --> 00:16:23,546
Okay, you go.

270
00:16:23,630 --> 00:16:24,630
–Okay.
–Okay.

271
00:16:25,296 --> 00:16:28,130
Okay, you know when you're
in bed with a woman…

272
00:16:28,213 --> 00:16:29,630
Uh.

273
00:16:29,713 --> 00:16:33,130
And, uh, ahem, you know,
you're fooling around,

274
00:16:33,213 --> 00:16:36,130
and you get all these
mental images in your brain?

275
00:16:36,213 --> 00:16:39,338
Like Elle MacPherson
or the girl at the Xerox place?

276
00:16:39,421 --> 00:16:42,255
–With the bellybutton ring? Oh.
–Oh! I know.

277
00:16:42,338 --> 00:16:45,171
And then all of a sudden,
your mom pops into your head.

278
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:50,505
And you're, like,
"Mom, get out of here!"

279
00:16:50,755 --> 00:16:53,463
But after that,
you can't think of anything else.

280
00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:58,921
And you can't stop what you're doing.
So it's kind of like you're…

281
00:16:59,255 --> 00:17:01,546
you know, you know…

282
00:17:01,630 --> 00:17:03,838
You don't know!

283
00:17:05,380 --> 00:17:07,380
Your mom?

284
00:17:07,463 --> 00:17:10,880
You're telling me about your mom?
What's the matter with you?

285
00:17:11,921 --> 00:17:14,796
–You said––
–I said "share," not "scare"!

286
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:17,171
Go sit over there!

287
00:17:22,505 --> 00:17:25,005
–We're back!
– Hey.

288
00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:27,838
What are you guys doing together?

289
00:17:27,921 --> 00:17:31,171
Joey and Janice's Day of Fun!

290
00:17:33,921 --> 00:17:35,171
–Really?
– Yeah, yeah.

291
00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:37,880
We went to a Mets game.
We got Chinese food.

292
00:17:37,963 --> 00:17:41,130
And, uh, you know,
I love this woman.

293
00:17:42,546 --> 00:17:44,005
You have got competition, buddy.

294
00:17:45,505 --> 00:17:49,088
Well, I just came by to give you a kiss.

295
00:17:49,171 --> 00:17:50,421
Mwah.

296
00:17:50,671 --> 00:17:55,880
I have to go pick up the baby.
So I'll see you later, sweetheart.

297
00:17:55,963 --> 00:17:57,046
You too, Chandler.

298
00:18:05,963 --> 00:18:11,213
–You still can't stand her, can you?
–I'm sorry, man. I tried! I really did!

299
00:18:13,338 --> 00:18:15,296
I appreciate you giving it a shot.

300
00:18:15,380 --> 00:18:17,963
But you know, the good thing is,

301
00:18:18,046 --> 00:18:21,630
is that we spent the whole day
together and I survived.

302
00:18:21,713 --> 00:18:25,046
And what's even more amazing,
so did she.

303
00:18:25,130 --> 00:18:26,963
It was Bat Day at Shea Stadium.

304
00:18:29,255 --> 00:18:30,546
I guess that's something.

305
00:18:30,630 --> 00:18:32,546
Oh, man, that's huge!

306
00:18:32,630 --> 00:18:36,130
Now I know I can stand to be
around her. Which means

307
00:18:36,213 --> 00:18:38,005
I get to hang out with you.

308
00:18:38,088 --> 00:18:40,838
Which is kind of
the whole point anyway.

309
00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:43,671
Okay.

310
00:18:45,713 --> 00:18:50,171
Oh, hey! We, uh, stopped by
the coffee shop and, uh, ran into Ross.

311
00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:57,046
Oh, God.

312
00:18:57,130 --> 00:18:59,755
If it makes you feel any better,
I do it, too.

313
00:19:01,005 --> 00:19:02,713
Oh.

314
00:19:02,796 --> 00:19:04,796
–Really?
–Oh, yeah!

315
00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:07,255
I always picture your mom
when I'm having sex.

316
00:19:12,421 --> 00:19:14,755
April 12, 1861.

317
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:21,796
The United States garrison
at Fort Sumter was fired upon.

318
00:19:23,255 --> 00:19:25,130
It is now under bombardment by––

319
00:19:36,671 --> 00:19:38,046
Dad, what are you doing here?

320
00:19:38,130 --> 00:19:42,546
It's your mother's bridge night, so I
came into the city for a Moni–cuddle.

321
00:19:42,630 --> 00:19:44,505
Oh.

322
00:19:46,755 --> 00:19:49,046
Since when did you start smoking cigars?

323
00:19:50,130 --> 00:19:54,088
I don't.
I just like the smell of them.

324
00:19:54,546 --> 00:19:57,713
So, uh,
what are you really doing here?

325
00:19:57,796 --> 00:19:59,880
I just wanted to make sure you're okay.

326
00:20:01,630 --> 00:20:03,296
Why wouldn't I be okay?

327
00:20:03,380 --> 00:20:04,880
I saw Richard.

328
00:20:06,421 --> 00:20:07,963
Oh?

329
00:20:08,046 --> 00:20:10,005
So how you doing?

330
00:20:10,255 --> 00:20:11,713
I'm fine.

331
00:20:11,796 --> 00:20:15,005
I'm just a little tired, but I'm okay.

332
00:20:15,088 --> 00:20:18,005
–Ahem. How's Richard doing?
–You don't want to know.

333
00:20:18,088 --> 00:20:20,880
No, I really, really do.

334
00:20:20,963 --> 00:20:23,463
Well, he's doing terrible!

335
00:20:25,838 --> 00:20:27,255
Really?

336
00:20:28,005 --> 00:20:30,171
Worse than when he broke up with Barbara.

337
00:20:31,463 --> 00:20:36,005
–You're not just saying that, are you?
–No, the man is a mess!

338
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:39,463
–Was he crying?
–No.

339
00:20:39,755 --> 00:20:43,421
Do you think he was waiting till
after you left, so he could cry?

340
00:20:43,505 --> 00:20:45,213
Maybe.

341
00:20:46,755 --> 00:20:48,421
I think so.

342
00:20:48,505 --> 00:20:51,796
Honey, relationships are hard.
Like with your mom and me.

343
00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:55,796
You know, after we graduated from
college, we broke up for a while.

344
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:58,505
It seems her father, your grandfather,

345
00:20:58,588 --> 00:21:01,296
wanted her to travel around Europe
like he did.

346
00:21:01,380 --> 00:21:04,213
Of course, he got to do it
on Uncle Sam's nickel

347
00:21:04,296 --> 00:21:08,671
because he was also strafing
German troop trains at the time.

348
00:21:08,755 --> 00:21:09,755
However…

349
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:52,838
Okay, here we go.

350
00:21:52,921 --> 00:21:56,088
I am Jabba's prisoner. And you…

351
00:21:56,671 --> 00:21:59,338
have a really weird look on your face.

352
00:21:59,421 --> 00:22:00,963
What? Honey, what is it?

353
00:22:01,046 --> 00:22:02,630
Did I get the hair wrong?

354
00:22:02,713 --> 00:22:05,296
Or what? Did you just
picture it differently? What?

355
00:22:05,380 --> 00:22:09,171
No, no. It's, um,
it's not you. It's, um…

356
00:22:13,838 --> 00:22:18,171
What is it? Come on, sweetie.
You're, like, freaking me out here.

357
00:22:20,630 --> 00:22:23,421
I hate Chandler.
The bastard ruined my life!