1 00:00:00,091 --> 00:00:02,177 YEAH? 2 00:00:02,260 --> 00:00:03,761 WELL, I STARTED BUILDING ONE. 3 00:00:03,844 --> 00:00:05,430 BUT THEN, I DECIDED 4 00:00:05,513 --> 00:00:08,808 TO TAKE IT TO THE NEXT STEP. 5 00:00:08,891 --> 00:00:10,393 YOU'RE BUILDING A POST OFFICE? 6 00:00:12,144 --> 00:00:13,522 NO, AN ENTERTAINMENT UNIT 7 00:00:13,605 --> 00:00:15,440 WITH A MAIL CUBBY BUILT RIGHT IN. 8 00:00:15,523 --> 00:00:17,651 IT'S A ONE-DAY JOB, MAX. 9 00:00:17,734 --> 00:00:19,861 OKAY. 10 00:00:19,944 --> 00:00:22,780 MY WORD, THOSE ARE SNUG. 11 00:00:24,073 --> 00:00:24,991 OH, YEAH. 12 00:00:25,074 --> 00:00:26,909 THESE ARE MY OLD WORK PANTS. 13 00:00:26,992 --> 00:00:29,203 SERGIO VALENTI. 14 00:00:38,796 --> 00:00:40,423 POWER SAW KIND OF GOT AWAY FROM ME THERE. 15 00:01:33,768 --> 00:01:35,144 HEY, PHEEBS. HEY. 16 00:01:35,227 --> 00:01:36,229 ANY SIGN OF YOUR BROTHER? 17 00:01:36,312 --> 00:01:38,356 NO, BUT HE'S ALWAYS LATE. 18 00:01:38,439 --> 00:01:39,482 I THOUGHT YOU ONLY MET HIM ONCE. 19 00:01:39,565 --> 00:01:40,941 YEAH, I DID. 20 00:01:42,318 --> 00:01:44,237 I THINK IT SOUNDS, LIKE, BIG SISTER-Y. 21 00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:46,030 YOU KNOW, "FRANK'S ALWAYS LATE." 22 00:01:46,113 --> 00:01:48,408 OH HO. WELL, RELAX, HE'LL BE HERE. 23 00:01:48,491 --> 00:01:50,868 YEAH. NO, I KNOW. I'M JUST NERVOUS. 24 00:01:50,951 --> 00:01:52,787 IT'S JUST, YOU KNOW… 25 00:01:52,870 --> 00:01:54,830 MOM'S DEAD, DON'T TALK TO MY SISTER… 26 00:01:54,913 --> 00:01:56,666 GRANDMA'S BEEN SLEEPING A LOT LATELY. 27 00:01:56,749 --> 00:01:58,042 YOU KNOW? 28 00:01:58,125 --> 00:01:59,669 IT'S JUST LIKE THE LAST DESPERATE CHANCE 29 00:01:59,752 --> 00:02:02,338 TO HAVE A FAMILY KIND OF THING. 30 00:02:02,421 --> 00:02:03,798 YOU'RE SO SWEET TO WAIT WITH ME. 31 00:02:03,881 --> 00:02:05,300 WELL, ACTUALLY, GUNTHER SENT ME. 32 00:02:05,383 --> 00:02:06,593 YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE CUPS OUT HERE. 33 00:02:06,676 --> 00:02:07,844 IT'S A THING. MM. 34 00:02:11,305 --> 00:02:13,725 DOES ANYONE ELSE THINK DAVID COPPERFIELD'S CUTE? 35 00:02:15,976 --> 00:02:19,063 NO, BUT HE TOLD ME HE THINKS YOU'RE A FOX. 36 00:02:20,857 --> 00:02:22,651 ALL RIGHT, JANICE LIKES HIM. 37 00:02:22,734 --> 00:02:25,487 IN FACT, SHE LIKES HIM SO MUCH SHE PUT HIM ON HER, UH… 38 00:02:25,570 --> 00:02:26,696 FREEBIE LIST. 39 00:02:29,782 --> 00:02:31,367 HER WHAT? 40 00:02:31,450 --> 00:02:32,826 WELL, WE HAVE A DEAL WHERE WE EACH GET TO PICK 41 00:02:32,909 --> 00:02:34,329 FIVE DIFFERENT CELEBRITIES 42 00:02:34,412 --> 00:02:37,332 THAT WE CAN SLEEP WITH… 43 00:02:37,415 --> 00:02:39,626 AND THE OTHER ONE CAN'T GET MAD. 44 00:02:39,709 --> 00:02:43,087 AH, THE HEART OF EVERY HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP… 45 00:02:43,170 --> 00:02:47,049 HONESTY, RESPECT AND SEX WITH CELEBRITIES. 46 00:02:47,132 --> 00:02:48,802 SO, CHANDLER, WHO'S ON YOUR LIST? 47 00:02:48,885 --> 00:02:50,219 AH, KIM BASINGER… 48 00:02:50,302 --> 00:02:53,097 UH, CINDY CRAWFORD, HALLE BERRY… 49 00:02:53,180 --> 00:02:54,098 YASMINE BLEETH. 50 00:02:54,181 --> 00:02:55,891 OH, BOY. 51 00:02:55,974 --> 00:02:58,269 AND, UH, JESSICA RABBIT. 52 00:03:00,104 --> 00:03:01,815 NOW, YOU DO REALIZE THAT SHE'S A CARTOON 53 00:03:01,898 --> 00:03:04,233 AND WAY OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE? 54 00:03:04,316 --> 00:03:06,820 YEAH, I KNOW. I KNOW. I JUST ALWAYS WONDERED IF I COULD GET HER EYES 55 00:03:06,903 --> 00:03:08,529 TO POP OUT OF HER HEAD. 56 00:03:09,946 --> 00:03:11,741 HEY, MONICA, WHO WOULD YOURS BE? 57 00:03:11,824 --> 00:03:15,286 FIRST I NEED A BOYFRIEND, THEN I CAN HAVE A LIST. 58 00:03:15,369 --> 00:03:16,579 JUST A GAME, MON. 59 00:03:19,290 --> 00:03:20,834 RACH, HOW ABOUT YOU? 60 00:03:20,917 --> 00:03:22,502 OH, I DON'T KNOW. 61 00:03:22,585 --> 00:03:23,753 I GUESS… 62 00:03:23,836 --> 00:03:25,421 CHRIS O'DONNELL, JOHN F. KENNEDY, JR. 63 00:03:25,504 --> 00:03:28,424 DANIEL DAY-LEWIS, STING AND PARKER STEVENSON. 64 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:32,387 SPIDER-MAN? 65 00:03:32,470 --> 00:03:34,514 HARDY BOY. 66 00:03:34,597 --> 00:03:35,890 PETER PARKER. 67 00:03:35,973 --> 00:03:38,476 THANK YOU. 68 00:03:38,559 --> 00:03:40,436 WHAT ABOUT YOU, HONEY? WHO'D BE ON YOUR LIST? 69 00:03:40,519 --> 00:03:42,397 I… I DON'T KNOW. THAT KIND OF THING 70 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:44,816 REQUIRES SOME SERIOUS THOUGHT. 71 00:03:44,899 --> 00:03:48,403 FIRST I'LL DIVIDE MY PROSPECTIVE CANDIDATES INTO CATEGORIES. 72 00:03:48,486 --> 00:03:50,112 WHAT A GEEK. 73 00:03:51,823 --> 00:03:53,408 EVERYBODY, THIS IS FRANK. 74 00:03:53,491 --> 00:03:55,159 THIS IS MY HALF-BROTHER, FRANK. 75 00:03:55,242 --> 00:03:57,579 THIS IS EVERYBODY. THIS IS ROSS. 76 00:03:57,662 --> 00:03:58,580 HI. HOW ARE YOU? HEY. 77 00:03:58,663 --> 00:04:00,582 CHANDLER. HI. 78 00:04:00,665 --> 00:04:01,791 JOEY. HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY… 79 00:04:01,874 --> 00:04:03,543 HI. 80 00:04:03,626 --> 00:04:04,836 THIS IS MONICA. 81 00:04:04,919 --> 00:04:07,046 WHOA. 82 00:04:07,129 --> 00:04:08,214 AND THIS IS RACHEL. 83 00:04:08,297 --> 00:04:09,215 HI. 84 00:04:09,298 --> 00:04:10,299 W-WHOA… 85 00:04:12,677 --> 00:04:14,596 I'M GOING TO GET COFFEE. 86 00:04:14,679 --> 00:04:16,848 HEY, HOW DO YOU GUYS GET ANYTHING DONE? 87 00:04:17,849 --> 00:04:19,809 WE DON'T REALLY. 88 00:04:21,727 --> 00:04:23,145 DO YOU GUYS HAVE A LOT OF BIG PLANS? 89 00:04:23,228 --> 00:04:25,273 OH, YEAH. WE'RE GOING TO, LIKE, CONNECT 90 00:04:25,356 --> 00:04:27,108 AND BOND AND EVERYTHING. 91 00:04:27,191 --> 00:04:28,526 YEAH, I WAS THINKING MAYBE WE COULD GO DOWN 92 00:04:28,609 --> 00:04:32,321 TO TIMES SQUARE AND PICK UP SOME NINJA STARS. 93 00:04:32,404 --> 00:04:33,656 OH, AND MY FRIEND, LARRY 94 00:04:33,739 --> 00:04:35,992 HE WANTS ME TO TAKE A PICTURE OF A HOOKER. 95 00:04:37,827 --> 00:04:41,205 WE REALLY DON'T TAKE ADVANTAGE OF LIVING IN THIS CITY. 96 00:04:55,011 --> 00:04:56,762 OH, SORRY. DID I GET YOU? 97 00:04:58,597 --> 00:05:00,099 NO, YOU DIDN'T "GET ME". 98 00:05:00,182 --> 00:05:01,726 IT'S AN ELECTRIC DRILL. 99 00:05:01,809 --> 00:05:04,646 YOU "GET ME," YOU KILL ME! 100 00:05:04,729 --> 00:05:06,981 CALM DOWN. DO YOU WANT THIS UNIT OR NOT? 101 00:05:07,064 --> 00:05:09,859 I DO NOT WANT THIS UNIT. 102 00:05:09,942 --> 00:05:11,527 WELL, YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME THAT BEFORE. 103 00:05:11,610 --> 00:05:14,656 I'M NOT A MIND READER. 104 00:05:14,739 --> 00:05:17,241 AND WE'RE OUT OF BEER. OKAY, I'M GOING TO MONICA'S. 105 00:05:18,409 --> 00:05:20,036 FINE! 106 00:05:25,917 --> 00:05:29,754 HEY. WHERE YOU HEADING IN THOSE PANTS, 1982? 107 00:05:31,380 --> 00:05:34,676 OH, MONICA, LISTEN. I SAW DOWN AT THE HARDWARE STORE 108 00:05:34,759 --> 00:05:36,511 THEY GOT THOSE DESIGNER TILES ON SALE 109 00:05:36,594 --> 00:05:38,387 IF YOU EVER WANT TO REDO YOUR BATHROOM FLOOR. 110 00:05:38,470 --> 00:05:40,306 WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY BATHROOM FLOOR? 111 00:05:40,389 --> 00:05:41,933 NOTHING, IT'S JUST… 112 00:05:42,016 --> 00:05:44,894 OLD AND DINGY, THAT'S ALL. 113 00:05:44,977 --> 00:05:46,479 I HIGHLY DOUBT THAT. 114 00:05:46,562 --> 00:05:47,730 OH, YEAH? 115 00:05:47,813 --> 00:05:49,440 IF YOU, UH… 116 00:05:49,523 --> 00:05:51,108 MOVE YOUR HAMPER 117 00:05:51,191 --> 00:05:53,110 YOU CAN SEE THE COLOR THE TILE USED TO BE. 118 00:05:53,193 --> 00:05:56,698 YEAH. 119 00:05:56,781 --> 00:05:59,492 I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? 120 00:05:59,575 --> 00:06:01,202 RELAX, RELAX. HERE, HOLD THIS. 121 00:06:01,285 --> 00:06:02,662 THIS OLD STUFF COMES RIGHT UP. 122 00:06:02,745 --> 00:06:04,204 I'LL SHOW YOU. 123 00:06:06,707 --> 00:06:08,793 A LITTLE MORE THAN I WANTED TO SEE. 124 00:06:10,461 --> 00:06:11,921 OH. 125 00:06:12,004 --> 00:06:13,172 LOOK AT THAT. 126 00:06:13,255 --> 00:06:15,132 EVERY INCH OF THIS IS GLUED DOWN. 127 00:06:15,215 --> 00:06:16,509 IT'D TAKE FOREVER TO PRY THIS UP. 128 00:06:16,592 --> 00:06:18,928 YOU SHOULD UH… YOU SHOULD JUST LEAVE IT. 129 00:06:20,345 --> 00:06:22,181 I CAN'T LEAVE IT. 130 00:06:22,264 --> 00:06:24,600 YOU GOUGED A HOLE IN MY DINGY FLOOR. 131 00:06:25,643 --> 00:06:26,644 UH… 132 00:06:33,818 --> 00:06:35,277 YEAH, THERE YOU GO. 133 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:36,863 AW… 134 00:06:36,946 --> 00:06:39,032 YEAH, THAT'S NICE. WE CAN PUT IT BACK THERE 135 00:06:39,115 --> 00:06:42,367 AFTER THE SURGEONS REMOVE IT FROM YOUR COLON. 136 00:06:50,208 --> 00:06:51,794 OOH! OOH! WHAT? 137 00:06:51,877 --> 00:06:53,379 YEAH, I KNOW WHAT I WANTED TO ASK YOU. 138 00:06:53,462 --> 00:06:56,090 UM, CAN YOU ROLL YOUR TONGUE? 139 00:06:56,173 --> 00:06:58,801 'CAUSE… 'CAUSE I CAN, AND MY MOM COULDN'T 140 00:06:58,884 --> 00:07:00,219 AND I THOUGHT, YOU KNOW 141 00:07:00,302 --> 00:07:02,764 I FIGURED THAT WAS SOMETHING I GOT FROM OUR DAD. 142 00:07:02,847 --> 00:07:05,307 WELL, WAIT, YOU MEAN LIKE THIS? 143 00:07:05,390 --> 00:07:06,350 YEAH. 144 00:07:06,433 --> 00:07:08,144 YEAH, YOU CAN DO IT TOO. YEAH. 145 00:07:09,854 --> 00:07:11,230 YOU'RE NOT DOING IT. 146 00:07:11,313 --> 00:07:12,690 OH, RIGHT. OKAY, YEAH. 147 00:07:12,773 --> 00:07:14,441 MY MOM COULD AND I CAN'T. 148 00:07:16,068 --> 00:07:18,112 WE DON'T HAVE THAT. 149 00:07:23,868 --> 00:07:25,160 WHEN'S YOUR BIRTHDAY? 150 00:07:25,243 --> 00:07:26,788 FEBRUARY 16. 151 00:07:26,871 --> 00:07:29,456 I KNOW A GUY WHO'S THE 18th. 152 00:07:31,125 --> 00:07:32,501 THAT'S CLOSE. 153 00:07:34,503 --> 00:07:35,713 WHEN'S YOURS? 154 00:07:35,796 --> 00:07:37,882 OCTOBER 25. 155 00:07:41,969 --> 00:07:43,554 THAT'S THE SAME MONTH AS HALLOWEEN. 156 00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:46,473 YEAH. 157 00:07:48,851 --> 00:07:51,979 SO, UM, WHAT KIND OF THINGS DO YOU LIKE TO DO AT HOME? 158 00:07:53,064 --> 00:07:54,314 MELT STUFF. 159 00:07:58,652 --> 00:08:00,696 OKAY, I'VE GOT THREE OF MY FIVE. 160 00:08:00,779 --> 00:08:02,364 THREE OF YOUR FIVE WHAT? 161 00:08:02,447 --> 00:08:05,785 CELEBRITIES I'M ALLOWED TO SLEEP WITH. 162 00:08:05,868 --> 00:08:08,203 MY GOD, YOU ARE GIVING THIS A LOT OF THOUGHT. 163 00:08:08,286 --> 00:08:09,413 HEY, IT'S HARD, OKAY? 164 00:08:09,496 --> 00:08:10,957 I ONLY HAVE TWO SPOTS LEFT. 165 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:12,792 WHO YOU GOT IT NARROWED DOWN TO? 166 00:08:12,875 --> 00:08:15,628 OKAY… ELIZABETH HURLEY. 167 00:08:15,711 --> 00:08:17,171 OOH, VERY ATTRACTIVE. 168 00:08:17,254 --> 00:08:18,172 YEAH. 169 00:08:18,255 --> 00:08:20,507 FORGIVING. 170 00:08:21,633 --> 00:08:23,552 SUSAN SARANDON. 171 00:08:24,803 --> 00:08:27,306 YOU KNOW WHAT? SHE'S TOO POLITICAL. 172 00:08:27,389 --> 00:08:28,641 SHE PROBABLY WOULDN'T LET YOU DO IT 173 00:08:28,724 --> 00:08:31,060 UNLESS YOU DONATED FOUR CANS OF FOOD FIRST. 174 00:08:33,604 --> 00:08:35,815 AND ISABELLA ROSSELLINI. 175 00:08:35,898 --> 00:08:37,775 OOH… VERY HOT, VERY SEXY. 176 00:08:37,858 --> 00:08:41,195 BUT, UH… YOU KNOW, SHE'S TOO INTERNATIONAL. 177 00:08:41,278 --> 00:08:42,738 YOU KNOW, SHE'S NEVER GOING TO BE AROUND. 178 00:08:42,821 --> 00:08:45,741 SO? SO, YOU GOT TO PLAY THE ODDS. 179 00:08:45,824 --> 00:08:49,037 PICK SOMEBODY WHO'S IN THE COUNTRY ALL THE TIME. 180 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:52,247 YEAH, 'CAUSE THAT'S WHY YOU WON'T GET ISABELLA ROSSELLINI… 181 00:08:52,330 --> 00:08:53,330 GEOGRAPHY. 182 00:09:04,009 --> 00:09:08,139 OKAY, SO, BY "MELTING" YOU MEANT MELTING. 183 00:09:08,222 --> 00:09:09,515 YEAH. 184 00:09:09,598 --> 00:09:11,017 SO, IS IT LIKE ART? 185 00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:12,893 YEAH, YOU CAN MELT ART. 186 00:09:14,812 --> 00:09:16,397 HEY, CAN I USE YOUR PHONE? 187 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,399 MMM. YEAH, SURE. 188 00:09:18,482 --> 00:09:19,692 WHY, YOU WANT TO CALL YOUR MOM? 189 00:09:19,775 --> 00:09:22,277 NO, I WANT TO MELT IT. 190 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:25,114 OH, WELL, UM, NOT RIGHT NOW. 191 00:09:31,536 --> 00:09:33,455 YOU KNOW WHAT, I THINK I'M JUST GOING TO GO TO BED. 192 00:09:33,538 --> 00:09:35,624 I THINK THE FUMES ARE GIVING ME A HEADACHE. 193 00:09:35,707 --> 00:09:38,836 YEAH, YEAH… 194 00:09:40,296 --> 00:09:42,715 GOOD NIGHT… BRO. 195 00:09:42,798 --> 00:09:44,424 GOOD NIGHT. 196 00:09:48,929 --> 00:09:50,431 HERE. 197 00:09:50,514 --> 00:09:52,641 JUST IN CASE. YOU KNOW. 198 00:09:52,724 --> 00:09:54,643 OH, EXCELLENT. 199 00:10:07,281 --> 00:10:08,657 WHAT KIND OF KARATE IS THAT? 200 00:10:08,740 --> 00:10:10,284 NO KIND. 201 00:10:11,660 --> 00:10:13,246 HE JUST MAKES IT UP. 202 00:10:13,329 --> 00:10:14,413 OH. 203 00:10:14,496 --> 00:10:15,957 HOW'S IT GOING WITH YOU GUYS? 204 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:18,375 SO FAR IT KIND OF BLOWS. 205 00:10:22,379 --> 00:10:24,423 I JUST THOUGHT, YOU KNOW, THAT… 206 00:10:24,506 --> 00:10:25,716 HE'D FEEL MORE LIKE A BROTHER. 207 00:10:25,799 --> 00:10:26,884 YOU KNOW, LIKE YOU AND ROSS 208 00:10:26,967 --> 00:10:28,510 JUST LIKE CLOSE AND CONNECTED AND… 209 00:10:28,593 --> 00:10:29,929 HONEY, WE'RE CLOSE NOW 210 00:10:30,012 --> 00:10:31,222 BUT YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE THE YEARS 211 00:10:31,305 --> 00:10:33,057 OF NOOGIES AND WEDGIES 212 00:10:33,140 --> 00:10:37,812 AND FLYING WEDGIES AND ATOMIC WEDGIES AND… 213 00:10:37,895 --> 00:10:41,315 THAT'S WHEN THE WAISTBAND ACTUALLY GOES OVER YOUR HEAD. 214 00:10:41,398 --> 00:10:43,400 AH. 215 00:10:43,483 --> 00:10:45,861 WE USED TO DRIVE EACH OTHER CRAZY PLAYING THE SHADOW GAME. 216 00:10:45,944 --> 00:10:48,990 HOW DO YOU PLAY THE SHADOW GAME? 217 00:10:49,073 --> 00:10:51,366 I JUST ASKED YOU. 218 00:10:51,449 --> 00:10:53,619 I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS. 219 00:10:53,702 --> 00:10:55,121 THAT IS WHAT THE GAME IS. 220 00:10:55,204 --> 00:10:57,497 YOU JUST GAVE UP REALLY QUICKLY. 221 00:11:00,084 --> 00:11:01,294 YOU SEEN JOEY? 222 00:11:01,377 --> 00:11:02,711 WHAT'S THE MATTER? OH, JUST… 223 00:11:02,794 --> 00:11:04,213 THIS! 224 00:11:08,967 --> 00:11:10,719 YOU KNOW WHAT, IT'S MY FAULT REALLY 225 00:11:10,802 --> 00:11:13,805 BECAUSE THE COUCH IS WHERE WE USUALLY KEEP THE VARNISH. 226 00:11:15,933 --> 00:11:18,269 HEY, SOMEBODY WANT TO HAND ME ONE OF THOSE TILES? 227 00:11:20,604 --> 00:11:21,689 WHAT'S GOING ON? 228 00:11:21,772 --> 00:11:23,440 HE'S RE-TILING MY FLOOR. 229 00:11:23,523 --> 00:11:24,650 YO! 230 00:11:24,733 --> 00:11:26,819 SPACKLE BOY. 231 00:11:26,902 --> 00:11:28,154 GET UP. 232 00:11:28,237 --> 00:11:30,363 AH-AH! YOU STARTED THIS, YOU WILL FINISH IT. 233 00:11:30,446 --> 00:11:32,365 HE STARTED MINE FIRST. 234 00:11:32,448 --> 00:11:35,493 BUILD THE UNIT, CINDERELLY, LAY THE TILES, CINDERELLY. 235 00:11:38,747 --> 00:11:40,333 WHOA. 236 00:11:40,416 --> 00:11:42,126 BIG OCTOPUS. 237 00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:45,712 YEAH. 238 00:11:49,633 --> 00:11:51,093 HELLO? 239 00:11:51,176 --> 00:11:54,305 OH, MY GOD, I TOTALLY FORGOT. 240 00:11:54,388 --> 00:11:56,765 WELL, CAN'T SOMEONE ELSE DO IT? 241 00:11:56,848 --> 00:11:58,850 BUT I HAVE COMPANY. 242 00:12:02,062 --> 00:12:05,274 YEAH, NO, THAT'S ALL RIGHT. I'LL COME IN. OKAY. 243 00:12:05,357 --> 00:12:08,361 FRANK, I'M REALLY SORRY, BUT I HAVE TO GO INTO WORK. 244 00:12:08,444 --> 00:12:09,862 IT'S ONE OF MY REGULARS 245 00:12:09,945 --> 00:12:12,198 AND HE'S INSISTING THAT I DO HIM, SO… 246 00:12:12,281 --> 00:12:14,158 HEY, WHAT KIND OF WORK DO YOU DO? 247 00:12:14,241 --> 00:12:16,285 OH! I'M A MASSEUSE. 248 00:12:16,368 --> 00:12:18,620 I GIVE PEOPLE MASSAGES AND STUFF. 249 00:12:18,703 --> 00:12:23,584 YOU… YOU WORK AT ONE OF THOSE MASSAGE PARLORS? 250 00:12:23,667 --> 00:12:27,129 WELL, WE DON'T CALL IT THAT, BUT YEAH. 251 00:12:30,590 --> 00:12:32,425 THAT'S WILD. 252 00:12:32,508 --> 00:12:34,595 NO, I HAD NO IDEA. 253 00:12:34,678 --> 00:12:36,096 ALL RIGHTY. 254 00:12:37,639 --> 00:12:39,350 I'LL BE BACK IN A LITTLE BIT. 255 00:12:39,433 --> 00:12:41,352 UNLESS, YOU WANT TO COME WITH ME. 256 00:12:41,435 --> 00:12:44,272 YOU MEAN, LIKE WATCH? 257 00:12:44,355 --> 00:12:46,732 NO, NO. YOU CAN GET ONE YOURSELF. 258 00:12:46,815 --> 00:12:48,734 IT'LL BE ON THE HOUSE, YOU KNOW… 259 00:12:48,817 --> 00:12:50,778 WHAT ARE BIG SISTERS FOR? 260 00:12:50,861 --> 00:12:53,989 I DON'T THINK THIS… YOU KNOW. 261 00:12:54,072 --> 00:12:55,199 NO, NO, NO. 262 00:12:55,282 --> 00:12:56,742 I WOULDN'T DO YOU MYSELF. 263 00:12:56,825 --> 00:12:59,828 I MEAN, THAT WOULD BE WEIRD. 264 00:12:59,911 --> 00:13:01,872 YEAH… NO, I'LL GET ONE OF THE OTHER GIRLS TO DO IT. 265 00:13:01,955 --> 00:13:03,958 OH! THIS IS SO MUCH FUN! 266 00:13:04,041 --> 00:13:05,876 YAY! 267 00:13:05,959 --> 00:13:07,086 ARE YOU EXCITED? 268 00:13:07,169 --> 00:13:08,170 YEAH. 269 00:13:10,005 --> 00:13:12,466 HEY, DO MONICA AND RACHEL WORK THERE? 270 00:13:14,968 --> 00:13:17,221 IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 271 00:13:17,304 --> 00:13:20,557 IT'S LIKE THE FIRST BATHROOM FLOOR THERE EVER WAS. 272 00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:21,934 WHOA! 273 00:13:22,017 --> 00:13:24,019 WHAT ARE YOU GOING IN THERE FOR? 274 00:13:24,102 --> 00:13:27,147 YOU WANT, LIKE, A NUMBER? 275 00:13:30,025 --> 00:13:31,110 HEY. 276 00:13:31,193 --> 00:13:32,819 HI. BYE. 277 00:13:34,363 --> 00:13:35,448 OKAY… 278 00:13:35,531 --> 00:13:37,158 I'M DONE WITH MY CHOICES. 279 00:13:37,241 --> 00:13:39,117 THESE ARE FINAL. 280 00:13:40,702 --> 00:13:42,621 WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME. 281 00:13:42,704 --> 00:13:44,123 YEAH, VERY OFFICIAL. 282 00:13:44,206 --> 00:13:45,666 OH, YEAH. WELL, YOU KNOW, 283 00:13:45,749 --> 00:13:48,294 CHANDLER PRINTED IT UP ON HIS COMPUTER. 284 00:13:48,377 --> 00:13:49,836 AND WHO LAMINATED IT? 285 00:13:51,587 --> 00:13:53,924 THAT WAS ME. 286 00:13:54,007 --> 00:13:55,926 ALL RIGHT, LET ME SEE. 287 00:13:56,009 --> 00:13:59,972 HUH… "UMA THURMAN, WINONA RYDER, ELIZABETH HURLEY 288 00:14:00,055 --> 00:14:01,806 "MICHELLE PFEIFFER… 289 00:14:02,849 --> 00:14:04,642 DOROTHY HAMILL"? 290 00:14:10,190 --> 00:14:12,776 HEY, IT'S MY LIST. 291 00:14:12,859 --> 00:14:15,529 OKAY, HONEY, YOU DO REALIZE SHE ONLY SPINS LIKE THAT ON ICE. 292 00:14:20,158 --> 00:14:21,118 OW, OW, OW! 293 00:14:21,201 --> 00:14:22,703 OW, OW, OW, OW! 294 00:14:22,786 --> 00:14:24,038 OW, OW. 295 00:14:24,121 --> 00:14:25,498 OW, YOU KNOW, OW… 296 00:14:25,581 --> 00:14:26,999 HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON? 297 00:14:27,082 --> 00:14:28,376 SHE BROKE MY ARM. 298 00:14:28,459 --> 00:14:29,835 HE TOUCHED MY FANNY. 299 00:14:29,918 --> 00:14:31,504 NO. SHE TOUCHED MINE FIRST. 300 00:14:31,587 --> 00:14:32,671 THAT'S MY JOB. 301 00:14:32,754 --> 00:14:34,548 SO, WAIT. WHAT'S THE DEAL HERE? 302 00:14:34,631 --> 00:14:36,800 I CAN HAVE SEX WITH YOU, BUT I CAN'T TOUCH YOU? 303 00:14:36,883 --> 00:14:38,427 EWW! EWW! 304 00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:40,137 YOU CAN'T HAVE SEX WITH HER. 305 00:14:40,220 --> 00:14:41,972 WHAT DID YOU THINK I WAS, A HOOKER? 306 00:14:42,055 --> 00:14:43,974 NO, OKAY… YOU'RE A "MASSEUSE." 307 00:14:44,057 --> 00:14:47,728 IT'S COOL. I'M NOT A COP. 308 00:14:47,811 --> 00:14:50,731 HEY, J-JASMINE, CAN YOU ASK MR. WIFFLER 309 00:14:50,814 --> 00:14:52,316 IF HE CAN WAIT FOR, LIKE, FIVE MINUTES? 310 00:14:52,399 --> 00:14:53,734 FINE. 311 00:14:53,817 --> 00:14:56,862 I DON'T LIKE YOU. 312 00:14:56,945 --> 00:14:59,532 SO… THAT'S WHAT YOU THOUGHT I DID? 313 00:14:59,615 --> 00:15:01,200 GOD! 314 00:15:01,283 --> 00:15:03,369 THAT'S NOT WHAT I DO! 315 00:15:03,452 --> 00:15:05,162 WAIT, THAT… THAT… 316 00:15:05,245 --> 00:15:06,830 WAIT, THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU DO? 317 00:15:06,913 --> 00:15:08,707 NO! 318 00:15:08,790 --> 00:15:10,709 WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT? 319 00:15:10,792 --> 00:15:12,711 I DON'T KNOW. I MEAN, YOU KNOW… 320 00:15:12,794 --> 00:15:16,048 THIS IS THE CITY, YOU KNOW? I JUST… I MEAN, I… 321 00:15:16,131 --> 00:15:18,926 I DON'T KNOW. 322 00:15:19,009 --> 00:15:22,846 WHATEVER. IT'S THE PERFECT END TO THE PERFECT WEEKEND, ANYWAY. 323 00:15:23,972 --> 00:15:25,349 OH… WAIT. 324 00:15:25,432 --> 00:15:26,475 NO, YOU'RE RIGHT. 325 00:15:26,558 --> 00:15:29,395 NO, IT WAS PERFECT, UH… 326 00:15:29,478 --> 00:15:31,980 I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I SCREWED IT UP SO BAD. 327 00:15:33,315 --> 00:15:35,401 YOU REALLY THOUGHT IT WAS PERFECT? 328 00:15:35,484 --> 00:15:37,736 WELL, NO, MAYBE IT WASN'T PERFECT 329 00:15:37,819 --> 00:15:40,448 BUT, YOU KNOW, IT WAS PRETTY COOL, YOU KNOW. 330 00:15:40,531 --> 00:15:43,367 'CAUSE WE HAD ALL THOSE GREAT TALKS, YOU KNOW? 331 00:15:46,495 --> 00:15:47,829 YEAH. UM… 332 00:15:47,912 --> 00:15:50,999 WHICH ONES IN PARTICULAR WERE GREAT FOR YOU? 333 00:15:51,082 --> 00:15:52,334 WELL, YOU KNOW 334 00:15:52,417 --> 00:15:54,836 ABOUT THE TONGUE THING, YOU KNOW… 335 00:15:54,919 --> 00:15:58,507 AND HOW I TOLD YOU ABOUT MY LIKES AND MY DISLIKES. 336 00:15:58,590 --> 00:15:59,925 I DON'T… 337 00:16:00,008 --> 00:16:01,594 HOW I LIKE TO MELT STUFF 338 00:16:01,677 --> 00:16:06,056 AND HOW I DISLIKE STUFF THAT DOESN'T MELT? 339 00:16:06,139 --> 00:16:07,849 RIGHT. OKAY. MM-HMM. 340 00:16:07,932 --> 00:16:09,268 YEAH, YOU KNOW… 341 00:16:09,351 --> 00:16:11,019 'CAUSE I FEEL LIKE I CAN REALLY TALK TO YOU 342 00:16:11,102 --> 00:16:13,813 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE MY SISTER. YOU KNOW? 343 00:16:16,274 --> 00:16:17,192 YEAH. 344 00:16:17,275 --> 00:16:18,944 I GUESS I DO. YEAH. 345 00:16:19,027 --> 00:16:20,571 AND THEN I GO FEEL YOUR FRIEND UP 346 00:16:20,654 --> 00:16:23,865 AND MAKE YOU MAD AT ME. 347 00:16:23,948 --> 00:16:25,951 WELL, I WASN'T HOPPING MAD… 348 00:16:26,034 --> 00:16:27,953 YOU KNOW… 349 00:16:28,036 --> 00:16:30,038 YOU HOPPED A LITTLE BIT. 350 00:16:32,082 --> 00:16:35,669 YEAH, I'M REALLY SORRY… REALLY. 351 00:16:35,752 --> 00:16:40,048 WELL, OKAY. 352 00:16:40,131 --> 00:16:42,092 ALL RIGHT, WELL, THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART OF THE WEEKEND. 353 00:16:42,175 --> 00:16:43,844 RIGHT NOW. THIS. 354 00:16:43,927 --> 00:16:45,846 THIS? UH-HUH. 355 00:16:45,929 --> 00:16:48,140 OH, COME ON. WE WENT TO TIMES SQUARE. 356 00:16:48,223 --> 00:16:49,808 WE, WE FOUND NINJA STARS. 357 00:16:49,891 --> 00:16:51,810 I ALMOST GET MY ARM BROKEN BY A HOOKER… 358 00:16:51,893 --> 00:16:53,395 SHE'S NOT A HOOKER. 359 00:16:53,478 --> 00:16:56,231 WHEN I TELL MY FRIENDS ABOUT HER, SHE WILL BE. 360 00:17:02,862 --> 00:17:04,698 OKAY. ON THREE. 361 00:17:04,781 --> 00:17:06,700 ONE, TWO… 362 00:17:06,783 --> 00:17:08,536 WHY DON'T WE JUST GO ON TWO? 363 00:17:08,619 --> 00:17:09,703 WHY TWO? 364 00:17:09,786 --> 00:17:11,372 BECAUSE IT'S FASTER. 365 00:17:11,455 --> 00:17:13,374 I COULD HAVE COUNTED TO THREE, LIKE, FOUR TIMES 366 00:17:13,457 --> 00:17:14,833 WITHOUT ALL THIS TWO TALK. 367 00:17:14,916 --> 00:17:15,876 ALL RIGHT, BUT IN THE FUTURE… 368 00:17:15,959 --> 00:17:17,127 OKAY, OKAY. 369 00:17:17,210 --> 00:17:18,879 HEAVY THING, NOT GETTING LIGHTER. 370 00:17:18,962 --> 00:17:22,383 OKAY. ONE, TWO… 371 00:17:22,466 --> 00:17:24,635 SO WE ARE GOING WITH TWO? OH! 372 00:17:33,644 --> 00:17:36,480 A GOOD JOB, JOE. 373 00:17:36,563 --> 00:17:38,357 WOW. 374 00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:40,317 IT'S BIG. 375 00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:42,236 YEAH. YEAH. SO BIG, THAT IT ACTUALLY MAKES 376 00:17:42,319 --> 00:17:44,946 OUR DOORS LOOK SMALLER. 377 00:17:45,029 --> 00:17:46,407 MAYBE MY RULER'S WRONG. 378 00:17:46,490 --> 00:17:49,117 MAYBE ALL THE RULERS ARE WRONG. 379 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,370 LOOK, IT'S NOT THAT BAD. 380 00:17:51,453 --> 00:17:52,954 SO WHAT? IT BLOCKS A LITTLE OF YOUR DOOR 381 00:17:53,037 --> 00:17:54,331 A LITTLE OF MY DOOR. 382 00:17:54,414 --> 00:17:55,749 YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT? I GOT A BETTER IDEA. 383 00:17:55,832 --> 00:17:57,585 HOW ABOUT IT BLOCKS NONE OF MY DOOR 384 00:17:57,668 --> 00:17:59,461 AND A LOT OF YOUR DOOR? 385 00:18:01,713 --> 00:18:03,465 OKAY. LISTEN, BEFORE I FORGET 386 00:18:03,548 --> 00:18:05,676 THAT SIDE IS STILL WET. 387 00:18:10,013 --> 00:18:12,725 OKAY, SIR, LET ME JUST SEE IF I'VE GOT THIS RIGHT. 388 00:18:12,808 --> 00:18:16,228 SO THIS IS A HALF CAF, DOUBLE TALL, EASY HAZELNUT 389 00:18:16,311 --> 00:18:21,191 NON-FAT, NO FOAM, WITH WHIPPED, EXTRA HOT LATTE, RIGHT? 390 00:18:21,274 --> 00:18:23,068 OKAY. GREAT. 391 00:18:23,151 --> 00:18:25,278 YOU FREAK. 392 00:18:31,242 --> 00:18:32,494 THANK YOU. 393 00:18:32,577 --> 00:18:35,205 COFFEE TO GO, PLEASE. 394 00:18:38,375 --> 00:18:40,085 ISABELLA ROSSELLINI! 395 00:18:40,168 --> 00:18:41,253 ARE YOU SERIOUS? 396 00:18:41,336 --> 00:18:42,879 OH, MY GOD. 397 00:18:42,962 --> 00:18:46,717 DAMN, I CANNOT BELIEVE I TOOK HER OFF MY LIST. 398 00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,845 WHY? 'CAUSE OTHERWISE, YOU'D "GO FOR IT"? 399 00:18:51,179 --> 00:18:53,766 YEAH. MAYBE. 400 00:18:53,849 --> 00:18:55,768 OH-HO! YOU LIE. 401 00:18:55,851 --> 00:18:58,019 WHAT, YOU DON'T THINK I'D GO UP TO HER? 402 00:18:58,102 --> 00:19:01,981 ROSS, IT TOOK YOU TEN YEARS TO FINALLY ADMIT YOU LIKE ME. 403 00:19:03,567 --> 00:19:05,486 YEAH? WELL, MISSY, 404 00:19:05,569 --> 00:19:09,448 YOU BETTER BE GLAD THAT LIST IS LAMINATED. 405 00:19:09,531 --> 00:19:11,700 YOU KNOW WHAT, HONEY? YOU GO AHEAD. 406 00:19:11,783 --> 00:19:14,787 WE'LL CALL HER AN ALTERNATE. 407 00:19:14,870 --> 00:19:15,870 OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 408 00:19:15,953 --> 00:19:17,164 HOLD MY CRULLER. 409 00:19:17,247 --> 00:19:19,667 OKAY. 410 00:19:19,750 --> 00:19:21,627 RACH, ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO LET HIM DO THIS? 411 00:19:21,710 --> 00:19:24,087 HONEY, HE'S ABOUT TO GO HIT ON ISABELLA ROSSELLINI. 412 00:19:24,170 --> 00:19:26,548 I'M JUST SORRY WE DON'T GOT POPCORN. 413 00:19:29,926 --> 00:19:31,052 HI… 414 00:19:31,135 --> 00:19:32,053 HI. 415 00:19:32,136 --> 00:19:33,847 I'M ROSS. 416 00:19:33,930 --> 00:19:35,265 YOU DON'T KNOW ME 417 00:19:35,348 --> 00:19:37,685 BUT I'M A BIG, BIG FAN OF YOURS. 418 00:19:37,768 --> 00:19:40,854 I MEAN, UM, BLUE VELVET… WHOO..! 419 00:19:43,774 --> 00:19:45,859 I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD MAYBE BUY YOU 420 00:19:45,942 --> 00:19:48,153 A, UM, CUP OF COFFEE. 421 00:19:48,236 --> 00:19:50,614 OR… REIMBURSE YOU FOR THAT ONE. 422 00:19:52,073 --> 00:19:54,826 AREN'T YOU WITH THAT GIRL OVER THERE? 423 00:19:59,289 --> 00:20:00,415 WELL, YEAH. KIND OF. 424 00:20:00,498 --> 00:20:01,875 BUT THAT'S OKAY. 425 00:20:01,958 --> 00:20:03,210 SEE, WE HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING. 426 00:20:03,293 --> 00:20:05,629 UM, SEE, WE EACH HAVE THIS LIST 427 00:20:05,712 --> 00:20:09,090 OF FIVE FAMOUS PEOPLE, AND YOU WERE ONE OF MINE. 428 00:20:09,173 --> 00:20:11,968 SO I'M ALLOWED TO SLEEP WITH YOU. 429 00:20:12,051 --> 00:20:13,053 NO, NO, NO. 430 00:20:13,136 --> 00:20:15,430 IT'S FLATTERING. 431 00:20:15,513 --> 00:20:17,015 WHOA! 432 00:20:17,098 --> 00:20:18,933 I DON'T KNOW… W-WAIT… 433 00:20:19,016 --> 00:20:20,101 WAIT. ISABELLA… 434 00:20:21,770 --> 00:20:23,731 DON'T-DON'T JUST DISMISS THIS SO FAST. 435 00:20:23,814 --> 00:20:26,191 THIS IS A ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY. 436 00:20:26,274 --> 00:20:27,400 YEAH, FOR YOU. 437 00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:31,655 IS THAT THE LIST? UM, YES. 438 00:20:31,738 --> 00:20:33,699 CAN I SEE IT? UM, NO. 439 00:20:33,782 --> 00:20:36,451 COME ON. BUT, OKAY… 440 00:20:36,534 --> 00:20:37,952 I'M NOT IN THE LIST. 441 00:20:38,035 --> 00:20:40,539 UM, SEE, BUT THAT'S NOT THE FINAL DRAFT. 442 00:20:40,622 --> 00:20:43,958 IT'S LAMINATED. 443 00:20:44,041 --> 00:20:45,753 YEAH… UM, OKAY, 444 00:20:45,836 --> 00:20:47,671 SO YOU WERE… YOU WERE ON MY LIST 445 00:20:47,754 --> 00:20:50,465 BUT THEN MY FRIEND CHANDLER… 446 00:20:53,134 --> 00:20:54,302 BROUGHT UP THE VERY GOOD POINT 447 00:20:54,385 --> 00:20:56,221 THAT YOU ARE INTERNATIONAL. 448 00:20:56,304 --> 00:20:58,014 SO I BUMPED YOU FOR WYNONA RYDER. 449 00:20:58,097 --> 00:21:00,016 LOCAL. 450 00:21:00,099 --> 00:21:01,894 YOU KNOW, IT'S IRONIC. 451 00:21:01,977 --> 00:21:06,815 BECAUSE I HAVE A LIST OF FIVE GOOFY COFFEEHOUSE GUYS 452 00:21:06,898 --> 00:21:09,902 AND YESTERDAY I JUST BUMPED YOU FOR… 453 00:21:09,985 --> 00:21:11,778 THAT GUY OVER THERE. 454 00:21:18,785 --> 00:21:20,704 WE'RE JUST GOING TO BE FRIENDS. 455 00:21:26,334 --> 00:21:28,253 YOU KNOW WHAT? MM? 456 00:21:28,336 --> 00:21:30,129 BET YOU I COULD FIT IN THERE. 457 00:21:32,590 --> 00:21:34,342 I GOT FIVE BUCKS SAYS YOU CAN'T. 458 00:21:36,427 --> 00:21:39,347 GET OUT YOUR CHECKBOOK, MISTER. 459 00:21:39,430 --> 00:21:42,017 OH, I THINK I HAVE THE CASH. 460 00:21:47,230 --> 00:21:50,066 YOU ARE DOGGED, MAN. 461 00:21:50,149 --> 00:21:52,277 I TOTALLY FIT. 462 00:21:52,360 --> 00:21:54,696 YEAH. YOU GOT ME. 463 00:21:54,779 --> 00:21:56,614 I'M OUT FIVE BIG ONES. 464 00:22:00,618 --> 00:22:01,954 THERE YOU GO. 465 00:22:02,037 --> 00:22:03,997 THANK YOU. 466 00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:05,248 CHA-CHING! 467 00:22:07,876 --> 00:22:11,212 OH, HELLO, MR. LINCOLN! 468 00:22:11,295 --> 00:22:13,924 BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME, BUDDY. 469 00:22:14,007 --> 00:22:16,676 AND THE DRINKS ARE ON ME.