GO, GO, GO. YES!
FOR ONCE, I AM GOING TO SIT DOWN
AND TRY TO WATCH ONE OF THESE THINGS.
HALF TIME.
HEY, WHO WANTS TO THROW
THE BALL AROUND?
MAYBE GET A LITTLE THREE-ON-THREE GOING.
OH, THAT WOULD BE SO MUCH FUN.
CAN I PLAY TOO?
I NEVER PLAYED FOOTBALL, LIKE, EVER.
GREAT. YOU CAN COVER CHANDLER.
NO, I DON'T REALLY WANT TO PLAY.
YOU NEVER WANT TO DO ANYTHING SINCE YOU AND JANICE BROKE UP.
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
I WANTED TO WEAR MY BATHROBE
AND EAT PEANUT CLUSTERS ALL DAY.
I WANTED TO START DRINKING IN THE MORNING.
DON'T SAY THAT I DON'T HAVE GOALS.
CHANDLER, YOU HAVE TO START GETTING OVER HER.
IF YOU PLAY, YOU GET SOME FRESH AIR.
MAYBE YOU'LL TAKE YOUR MIND OFF JANICE.
IF YOU DON'T PLAY, EVERYONE'LL BE MAD AT YOU
'CAUSE THE TEAMS WON'T BE EVEN.
COME ON.
ALL RIGHT. I'LL PLAY.
YAY!
ROSS?
WHAT?
WANT TO PLAY FOOTBALL?
UM, MONICA AND I
AREN'T SUPPOSED TO PLAY FOOTBALL.
SAYS WHO, YOUR MOM?
YEAH. YES.
EVERY THANKSGIVING
WE USED TO HAVE A TOUCH FOOTBALL GAME
CALLED THE GELLER BOWL.
NO, NO, YOU SAY THAT PROUDLY.
ANYWAY, ROSS AND I WERE ALWAYS CAPTAINS
AND, UM, IT GOT KIND OF COMPETITIVE
AND ONE YEAR, GELLER BOWL VI
I ACCIDENTALLY BROKE ROSS'S NOSE.
IT WAS SO NOT AN ACCIDENT.
SHE SAW I WAS ABOUT TO TAG HER
SO SHE THREW HER BIG, FAT GRANDMA-ARM ELBOW IN MY FACE
JUST KEPT RUNNING.
YEAH.
TO SCORE THE WINNING TOUCHDOWN, BY THE WAY.
WHOA, WHOA.
UH, YOU DID NOT WIN THE GAME.
THE TOUCHDOWN DIDN'T COUNT
BECAUSE OF THE SPECTACULARLY ILLEGAL…
AND BY THE WAY, SAVAGE… NOSE BREAKING.
I WON THE GAME.
OH, YEAH?
THEN HOW COME YOU DIDN'T GET THE GELLER CUP?
THERE WAS A GELLER CUP?
YES. IT WAS THE TROPHY YOU GOT IF YOU WON THE GAME
BUT OUR DAD SAID NOBODY WON THAT GAME
AND HE WAS SICK OF OUR FIGHTING
SO HE TOOK THE TROPHY…
THREW IT IN THE LAKE.
AND WAS THE CURSE LIFTED?
ANYWAY…
THAT'S WHEN MOM SAID
WE WERE NOT ALLOWED TO PLAY FOOTBALL AGAIN.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I THINK WE SHOULD PLAY A GAME.
IT'S BEEN 12 YEARS.
CAN I SEE YOU FOR A SECOND?
WUSS!
ALL RIGHT, WE'RE GOING TO PLAY.
WAIT A MINUTE, HOW WILL WE GET THERE?
MY MOM WON'T LET ME CROSS THE STREET.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
HEY!
HERE WE GO.
ALL RIGHT, PHEEBS.
OKAY, LET'S BRING IT IN.
THROW IT TO ME, THROW IT TO ME.
THAT ALMOST HIT ME IN THE FACE.
ALL RIGHT
WE HAVE TO PICK CAPTAINS.
AND THEN TENNILLES.
SO HOW DO WE DECIDE THAT?
WHY DON'T WE JUST BUNNY UP?
WHAT?
BUNNY!
OKAY, LOOKS LIKE
ROSS AND I ARE CAPTAINS.
I BUNNIED FIRST, SO I GET TO PICK FIRST.
JOEY.
MONICA…
I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND.
SWEETIE, DON'T WORRY.
YOU'LL GET PICKED.
CHANDLER.
ROSS!
PHOEBE.
SWEETIE, NOW I PICK YOU.
YOU DON'T PICK ME.
YOU'RE STUCK WITH ME.
OKAY.
LET'S PLAY FROM THE TRASH CAN
TO THE LIGHT POST.
TWO-HAND TOUCH. WE'LL KICK OFF.
ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE, LISTEN.
I'VE GOT EXACTLY 28 MINUTES
BEFORE I HAVE TO BASTE AGAIN.
WOW, JUST LIKE IN THE PROS.
HUDDLE UP!
ALL RIGHT, HUDDLE UP. RIGHT OVER HERE.
COOL! THIS IS MY FIRST HUDDLE.
OKAY, SO WHAT DO YOU GUYS REALLY THINK OF CHANDLER?
PHOEBE, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING, RIGHT?
YEAH.
OKAY. JOEY WILL CATCH IT.
YOU AND I WILL BLOCK.
WHAT'S BLOCK?
YOU SAID YOU KNEW WHAT YOU WERE DOING.
I THOUGHT YOU MEANT IN LIFE.
BREAK.
THE BALL IS JANICE, THE BALL IS JANICE.
OW! OW!
OH, SON OF A…! OW!
COME ON.
SORRY. I'M SORRY.
YOU KNOW WHAT…
WE'RE JUST GOING TO THROW IT.
YES!
YES! SCORE!
SEVEN TO NOTHING.
HONEY…
COME ON, LET'S GO.
LOSERS WALK.
YEAH? LOSERS TALK.
NO. ACTUALLY, LOSERS RHYME.
ALL RIGHT.
43, 74…
YOU WANT TO GO SHOTGUN?
YEAH.
HIKE.
ONE MISSISSIPPI, TWO MISSISSIPPI
THREE MISSISSIPPI.
HA! I ALMOST CAUGHT THAT ONE.
YEAH, GREAT.
NOW THE SCORE'S SEVEN TO ALMOST SEVEN.
OKAY.
THIS PLAY, DO A DOWN AND OUT
TO THE RIGHT.
BREAK.
WAIT. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
YOU…
YOU GO LONG.
HOW LONG?
UNTIL WE START TO LOOK VERY SMALL.
BREAK.
SET, HIKE.
ONE MISSISSIPPI, TWO MISSISSIPPI.
SWITCH, SWITCH, SWITCH.
HA!
HEY, THANKS FOR STOPPING OUR BALL.
YOU ARE PLAYING AMERICAN FOOTBALL?
YEAH.
WOW.
YOU'RE, LIKE, FROM A WHOLE OTHER COUNTRY.
I'M DUTCH.
HI. I'M JOEY.
I'M MARGHA.
I'M SORRY, DUTCH.
I DIDN'T GET THAT LAST LITTLE BIT.
YOU WANT TO PLAY
FOOTBALL OR…
HI. I'M CHANDLER.
HELLO, CHANDLER.
HER NAME IS DUTCH, AND ALSO MARC-HA.
MARGHA.
MARC-HA.
MAR-GHA.
COME ON, GUYS, LET'S GO.
SECOND DOWN.
UH, HELLO, IT'S THIRD DOWN.
NO, IT'S NOT. IT'S SECOND.
WOW.
WOW, WHAT?
IT AMAZES ME THAT YOU'RE STILL PULLING STUFF LIKE THIS.
PULLING WHAT?
IT'S SECOND DOWN.
OKAY, IT'S SECOND DOWN.
TAKE ALL
THE SECOND DOWNS YOU NEED.
I HEARD THAT.
I SAID IT LOUD.
IT IS OKAY IF I STAY AND WATCH?
YEAH, STICK AROUND.
AS LONG AS YOU NEED TO.
THAT WENT WELL.
I THINK SO.
I WAS THINKING ABOUT ASKING HER FOR HER NUMBER.
THANKS, MAN, BUT I THINK IT MAKES A STRONGER STATEMENT
IF I ASK FOR IT MYSELF.
WHOA, OH.
NO, I WAS THINKING ABOUT FOR ME.
PART OF THAT WHOLE "GETTING OVER JANICE" THING
YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT.
OH, YEAH. THAT. ALL RIGHT.
IF IT MEANS THAT MUCH TO YOU, I'LL LET YOU HAVE HER.
THANKS.
"LET ME HAVE HER"?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
LIKE, IF YOU DIDN'T, I WOULDN'T HAVE A SHOT?
I DON'T LIKE TO SAY IT OUT LOUD
BUT…
YEAH.
DON'T FEEL BAD
WE ALL HAVE OUR STRENGTHS.
YOU'RE BETTER WITH NUMBERS AND STUFF.
MATH!
YOU'RE GIVING ME MATH?
ALL RIGHT, LOOK.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
FORGET ABOUT IT.
YOU GO FOR THE GIRL.
WE'LL SEE WHO GETS HER.
CHANDLER, I WANT YOU TO RUN A POST PATTERN
TO THE LEFT, OKAY?
SWEETIE…
YEAH, I KNOW. GO LONG.
YOU KNOW, ALL I'M DOING
IS RUNNING BACK AND FORTH FROM THE HUDDLE.
WELL, UH…
YOU WANT TO JUST STAY OUT THERE?
CAN I SEE THAT FOR A SEC?
YEAH.
OKAY.
HUT, HIKE.
ONE MISSISSIPPI…
WHAT THE HELL'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?
IT'S MY FAVORITE JERSEY.
WELL, NOW YOU HAVE TWO.
HEY, I AM GOOD AT MATH.
I WAS STILL GOING TO LET YOU HAVE HER
BUT FORGET ABOUT IT.
PREPARE TO FEEL VERY BAD ABOUT YOURSELF.
I'VE BEEN PREPARING FOR THAT
MY ENTIRE LIFE.
OR SOMETHING ABOUT YOU THAT'S MEAN.
COME ON, GUYS, LET'S GO.
TIE SCORE.
RUNNING OUT OF TIME.
42, 38, HIKE.
OH, BROKEN BOOBS!
OW!
PHOEBE, RUN!
TOUCHDOWN, TOUCHDOWN!
NO, NO, NO.
UH, HELLO. THE BUZZER BUZZED.
IT DOESN'T COUNT.
AFTER THE SNAP.
BEFORE THE SNAP.
AFTER. BEFORE.
DOES IT REALLY MATTER?
YES!
BUT, OKAY.
I MADE A TOUCHDOWN.
MY FIRST TOUCHDOWN.
PHEEBS, THAT'S GREAT.
IT DOESN'T COUNT.
DOES SO COUNT.
CHEATER, CHEATER, COMPULSIVE EATER.
OH, MY GOD.
KNOW WHAT? THAT'S FINE.
MAYBE YOU HAVEN'T GROWN UP, BUT I HAVE.
OH, OKAY.
DEAD LEG!
OKAY, OKAY, FINE, FINE.
YOU WANT TO WIN BY CHEATING?
PHOEBE, THE TOUCHDOWN DOES COUNT.
YOU WIN.
OH, YAY. NO.
I WON'T GO THROUGH THIS
WITH YOU AGAIN.
I WANT TO BEAT YOU WHEN YOU CAN'T BLAME IT
ON THE BROKEN NOSE, THE BUZZER
OR THE FACT YOU THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE GETTING MONO.
LET'S JUST CALL THIS
TIE SCORE AND IT'S HALF TIME.
FIRST OF ALL, I DON'T PLAY WITH CHEATERS
AND SECOND OF ALL
YOU KNOW I HAD SWOLLEN GLANDS.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I THINK YOU'LL PLAY.
OH, REALLY?
WHY IS THAT?
WHOEVER WINS, GETS THIS.
THE GELLER CUP.
IS EVERYBODY ELSE SEEING A TROLL DOLL
NAILED TO A 2 x 4?
OKAY, GOOD.
WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT?
WHEN MOM AND DAD DROVE YOU
TO THE HOSPITAL TO GET YOUR NOSE FIXED
I SWAM INTO THE LAKE AND FISHED IT OUT.
THAT CUP IS MINE.
NO, IT'S NOT. YOU WANT IT…
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO WIN IT.
ALL RIGHT, SO ARE WE NOT HAVING DINNER AT ALL?
COME ON, PHOEBE.
IT'S TIME TO GET SERIOUS.
HUDDLE UP.
JOEY, KEEP YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME.
IT'S HARD, YOU KNOW?
HIS HUDDLE'S CLOSER TO THE DUTCH GIRL.
ALL RIGHT, IF I TAKE CHANDLER OUT OF THE RUNNING
WILL YOU BE ABLE TO FOCUS?
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
JUST MAKE SURE HE CATCHES THE BALL.
I'LL TAKE CARE OF THE REST.
BREAK.
HERE YOU GO.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
COME ON! THIS WAY.
WHOA! WHOA!
TACKLED BY A GIRL.
BET YOU DON'T SEE THAT EVERY DAY.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
WHAT'S WITH THE TACKLING?
WHAT?
I JUST TOUCHED HIM AND HE WENT OVER.
OKAY. YOU WANT TO PLAY ROUGH?
WE CAN PLAY ROUGH.
LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE..!
…THREE MISSISSIPPI.
HERE!
HIKE!
I LOVE THIS GAME!
HEY, WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?
I WENT REALLY LONG.
42 TO 21!
LIKE THE TURKEY, ROSS IS DONE!
IT'S NO SURPRISE THAT YOU'RE WINNING.
YOU PICKED FIRST, SO YOU GOT THE BETTER TEAM.
YOU'RE SO PATHETIC.
WHY CAN'T YOU ACCEPT IT?
WE'RE WINNING BECAUSE I'M BETTER THAN YOU.
OH, WHAT A GREAT ARGUMENT… EXHALING.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'LL PROVE IT TO YOU, OKAY?
I'LL TRADE YOU JOEY FOR RACHEL
AND I'LL STILL WIN THE GAME.
WHA..? THE GUYS AGAINST THE GIRLS?
SEE, THAT'S RIDICULOUS, MONICA
BECAUSE I'M ONLY DOWN BY THREE TOUCHDOWNS.
OH… THEN BRING IT ON.
OH, UNLESS, OF COURSE
YOU'RE AFRAID YOU MIGHT LOSE TO A BUNCH OF GIRLS.
FINE, FINE.
RACHEL, YOU'RE WITH MONICA.
JOEY, YOU'RE WITH ME.
I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ARE TRADING ME.
LET'S SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE ON A WINNING TEAM.
YOU'RE GOING TO LET ME PLAY?
ALL RIGHT, THEN.
THE GAME IS OVER? WE EAT NOW?
THE GAME'S NOT OVER.
WE'RE JUST SWITCHING TEAMS.
CHANDLER FINDS ME SO INTIMIDATING
THAT IT'S BETTER IF WE'RE ON THE SAME TEAM.
RIGHT, OKAY, LET'S PLAY.
LET'S GO.
WHOA, HOLD ON A SECOND, JOE.
WHERE DO DUTCH PEOPLE COME FROM?
UH, WELL, THE, UH…
PENNSYLVANIA DUTCH COME FROM PENNSYLVANIA.
AND THE, UH, OTHER DUTCH PEOPLE?
THEY COME FROM SOMEWHERE NEAR THE NETHERLANDS, RIGHT?
NICE TRY.
YOU SEE, THE NETHERLANDS IS THIS MAKE-BELIEVE PLACE
WHERE PETER PAN AND TINKERBELL COME FROM.
OH, MY.
ENOUGH WITH GEOGRAPHY FOR THE INSANE.
LET'S PLAY SOME BALL.
WHOA, NO, UH-UH.
I'M NOT PLAYING WITH THIS GUY NOW.
FINE WITH ME.
I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS.
LET'S JUST CUT TO THE CHASE.
HEIDI, WHICH OF MY BOYS DO YOU LIKE?
Joey and Chandler: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
SHH! SHH!
WHICH DO I LIKE?
YEAH, YOU KNOW
FOR DATING, GENERAL MERRIMENT
TAKING BACK TO YOUR WINDMILL…
WELL, IF I HAD TO CHOOSE RIGHT NOW…
WHICH, BY THE WAY, I FIND REALLY WEIRD…
I WOULD HAVE TO SAY…
CHANDLER.
YES!
NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.
SHE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THE QUESTION.
WHY DON'T YOU HAVE CAPTAIN HOOK EXPLAIN IT?
I'M SORRY, JOEY. THAT IS MY TRUTH.
YOU HEAR THAT?
THAT IS HER TRUTH, MR. I'LL-LET-YOU-HAVE-HER.
I WIN. YOU SUCK.
I RULE ALL.
MINI-WAVE AND CELEBRATION TO ME!
A-WOO-HOO!
I AM NOW THINKING
I WOULD LIKE TO CHANGE MY ANSWER TO… NO ONE.
W-W-WHAT?
I NOW FIND YOU SHALLOW AND, UM…
A DORK.
BYE-BYE.
NICE GOING.
YOU JUST SAVED YOURSELF A COUPLE MONTHS OF SEX.
YOU KNOW WHAT? DOESN'T MATTER
BECAUSE SHE PICKED ME.
ME!
FROM NOW ON, I GET THE DATES
AND YOU HAVE TO STAY HOME ON SATURDAY NIGHTS
WATCHING READY, SET, COOK.
SAVE THE BREAKTHROUGHS FOR THERAPY, OKAY?
THE CLOCK IS TICKING.
WE HAVE NO TIME, AND WE ARE LOSING.
WE ARE LOSING TO GIRLS.
WE'RE NOT GOING TO LOSE TO GIRLS.
HEY, IT'S 42 TO 21.
THIS SUCKS.
I WAS JUST UP BY THAT MUCH.
ARE WE PLAYING FOOTBALL OR WHAT?
COME ON, YOU HAIRY-BACKED MARYS.
WE HAVE TO DO THIS.
WE ARE PLAYING FOR WOMEN EVERYWHERE.
JUST THINK ABOUT EVERY LOUSY DATE YOU EVER HAD.
EVERY GUY WHO KEPT ONE EYE ON THE T.V.
WHILE YOU WERE MAKING OUT.
OH, MY GOD, YOU DATED SOMEONE WITH A GLASS EYE TOO?
COME ON, OKAY?
COME ON, THIS IS FOR ALL WOMANKIND.
LET'S KILL 'EM!
YEAH! KILL 'EM!
ALL RIGHT.
WELL, NO, I WANT TO KILL THEM, TOO
BUT THEY'RE BOYS.
YOU KNOW, HOW ARE WE GOING TO BEAT THREE BOYS?
WE STILL HAVE A MINUTE AND A HALF LEFT
AND WE'RE DOWN BY TWO POINTS.
TWO POINTS, LADIES.
PHOEBE, YOU DO A BUTTONHOOK AGAIN.
RACHEL, YOU GO LONG.
NO. COME ON, DON'T MAKE ME GO LONG.
USE ME. THEY NEVER COVER ME.
HONEY, THERE'S A REASON.
COME ON, I AM NOT LAME, OKAY?
I CAN DO SOMETHING. I CAN THROW.
WOULD YOU LET ME THROW?
THIS IS MY GAME TOO.
COME ON, LET HER THROW THE BALL.
ALL RIGHT, RACHEL
SWEEP BEHIND, I'LL PITCH IT TO YOU
YOU THROW IT TO PHOEBE.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
BREAK. BREAK.
OKAY…
THIRTY-TWO…
SEVENTY-ONE, HIKE.
ONE MISSISSIPPI, TWO MISSISSIPPI
THREE MISSISSIPPI!
OW!
OH, GOD! I'M SO SORRY.
ARE YOU OKAY?
NO, I'M NOT OKAY.
SORRY. THEY WERE JUST ALL COMING AT ME
AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
30 SECONDS LEFT ON THE TIMER…
OKAY, SO WE GET TO TAKE THAT, UH, STUPID TROLL-THING HOME.
NO, YOU DON'T. COME ON, HURRY.
WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME.
HUDDLE UP.
OKAY.
OH…
OH, THIS IS OUR LAST HUDDLE.
ALL RIGHT…
PHOEBE, GET OPEN.
RACHEL… GO LONG.
OKAY.
BREAK.
I SCORED A TOUCHDOWN!
WE DID IT! WE WIN!
TOUCHDOWN! WHOO!
WE WIN!
YES!
YOU KNOW, RACHEL, FUNNY THING…
ACTUALLY, THE END ZONE STARTS AT THAT POLE
SO YOU'RE FIVE FEET SHORT, SO…
WE WIN.
WHOO!
YES! YES, YES, YES…
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT
EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO ME, THOUGH.
IF NOBODY TAGGED RACHEL
THEN ISN'T THE PLAY STILL GOING?
I GOT IT! I GOT IT! I GOT IT!
LET GO! LET GO!
TOUCHDOWN, BUDDY. WE WIN.
NO WAY! LET GO!
LET GO? I'M A TINY LITTLE WOMAN.
GUYS, GUYS, COME ON.
IT'S THANKSGIVING.
IT'S NOT IMPORTANT WHO WINS OR LOSES.
THE IMPORTANT THING IS
THE DUTCH GIRL PICKED ME.
ME, NOT YOU. HOLLAND LOVES CHANDLER.
THANK YOU AMSTERDAM! GOOD NIGHT!
OW!
WE SHOULD PLAY FOOTBALL MORE OFTEN.
MAYBE THERE'S A LEAGUE WE COULD JOIN.
ISN'T THERE, LIKE
A NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE?
YES. YES, THERE IS.
THEY PLAY ON SUNDAYS AND MONDAY NIGHTS.
OH, SHOOT.
I WORK MONDAY NIGHTS.
OH…
MM. THIS STUFFING IS AMAZING.
DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD BRING THEM SOME?
WHEN THEY'RE HUNGRY ENOUGH, THEY'LL COME IN.
LET GO!
NO, YOU LET GO!
NO!
HOW COME IT'S ALWAYS US LEFT ON THE FIELD
HOLDING THE BALL?
I DON'T KNOW.
GUESS THE OTHER PEOPLE JUST DON'T CARE ENOUGH.
HEY, IT'S STARTING TO SNOW.
AHH…
GIVE IT TO ME! LET GO! GIVE IT!
COME ON, LET GO! LET GO!