AUNT SYLVIA PASSED AWAY.
YES!
YES! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!
WE WERE ALL PRETTY SHAKEN UP ABOUT IT.
AM I MISSING SOMETHING?
I ALWAYS THOUGHT DEATH WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SAD IN A WAY.
WELL, AUNT SYLVIA WAS…
WELL, NOT A NICE PERSON.
SHE WAS A CRUEL, CRANKY, OLD BITCH.
AND I'M SORRY SHE DIED.
DID DAD SAY I GET THE DOLLHOUSE?
YOU GET THE DOLLHOUSE.
I GET THE DOLLHOUSE!
WELL, A HOUSE FOR DOLLS.
THAT IS SO COOL.
WHEN I WAS A KID, I HAD A BARREL.
UH, PHEEBS, YOU HAD A BARREL FOR A DOLLHOUSE?
NO, JUST A BARREL.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU CAN PLAY WITH MY DOLLHOUSE.
REALLY? REALLY?
ANY TIME YOU WANT.
WHEN I WAS YOUNGER
ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS PLAY
WITH THIS DOLLHOUSE.
BUT NO.
IT WAS TO BE LOOKED AT BUT NEVER PLAYED WITH.
MY GRANDMOTHER USED TO SAY THE SAME THING TO ME.
HEY, SOPHIE.
HEY, RACH.
THANKS FOR LUNCH, CHANDLER.
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO WALK ME BACK UP HERE.
OH, THAT'S OKAY.
NO PROBLEM.
UM, HONEY, YOU DO REALIZE
WE DON'T KEEP THE WOMEN'S LINGERIE
HERE IN THE OFFICE.
YES, I REALIZE THAT.
SUMMER CATALOGUE?
THAT'S THE STUFF.
RACHEL, I NEED THE VERSACE INVOICE.
HELLO.
YOU DON'T WORK FOR ME.
JOANNA, THIS IS MY FRIEND, CHANDLER BING.
JOANNA.
BING.
THAT'S A GREAT NAME.
THANKS. IT'S GAELIC FOR "THY TURKEY'S DONE."
I'M GOING TO GO. NICE MEETING YOU.
YOU, TOO.
BYE, CHANDLER.
SO, UH, WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?
OH, NOTHING.
HE'S JUST GOOFY LIKE THAT.
I ACTUALLY HARDLY NOTICE IT ANYMORE.
OH, NO, NO, NO.
I MEAN, IS HE…
MARRIED OR INVOLVED WITH ANYONE?
NO, NO.
HE'S NOT MARRIED OR INVOLVED.
WITH ANYONE.
WELL, RACHEL…
ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
FORGET IT.
I'LL ASK HIM FOR YOU IF YOU WANT ME TO.
WOULD YOU?
OR IS IT JUST TOO SAD AND DESPERATE…
YOU KNOW, SOMETHING THAT SOPHIE WOULD DO?
I AM HERE.
I KNOW THAT.
LOOK AT IT.
OH, WALLPAPER'S A LITTLE FADED.
THAT'S OKAY.
CARPET'S A LITTLE LOOSE.
HARDWOOD FLOORS!
HEY.
HELLO.
OH!
OH, MONICA, IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL!
I KNOW!
SO I'M HERE, READY TO PLAY.
OKAY.
I BROUGHT A BUNCH OF STUFF FOR THE HOUSE.
SO CHECK IT OUT.
WHAT'S THIS?
THAT'S A DOG.
EVERY HOUSE SHOULD HAVE A DOG.
NOT ONE THAT CAN PEE ON THE ROOF.
WELL, MAYBE IT'S SO BIG
BECAUSE THE HOUSE WAS BUILT ON RADIOACTIVE WASTE.
AND IS THIS IN CASE THE HOUSE SNEEZES?
NO, NO.
THAT'S THE GHOST FOR THE ATTIC.
I DON'T WANT A GHOST.
WELL, NOBODY WANTS A GHOST.
BUT YOU'VE GOT ONE.
BECAUSE THE HOUSE IS SITTING ON
AN ANCIENT INDIAN BURIAL GROUND.
WAIT A MINUTE.
THE HOUSE WAS BUILT ON RADIOACTIVE WASTE
AND AN ANCIENT INDIAN BURIAL GROUND?
THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN.
OKAY, OBVIOUSLY YOU DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT THE U.S. GOVERNMENT.
HEY.
I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.
SURE. WHAT'S UP?
OH, SORRY.
I MEANT CHANDLER.
I-I KNOW.
WELL, IF SOMETHING COMES UP…
WELL, I'M GLAD YOU GUYS
HAVE PASSED THAT LITTLE AWKWARD PHASE.
OKAY, MY BOSS, JOANNA.
WHEN YOU LEFT, SHE STARTED ASKING QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU.
OH, LIKED WHAT SHE SAW, HUH?
DUG MY ACTION, DID SHE?
CHECKIN' OUT THE CHAN-CHAN MAN!
THAT WAS… SURREAL.
OKAY, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
YOU INTERESTED AT ALL?
YEAH, SHE SEEMED COOL, ATTRACTIVE.
I'LL DO IT.
OH, THANK YOU, CHANDLER.
THIS IS SO GREAT.
SHE'S GOING TO LOVE ME.
HEY, DINOSAUR ATTACK.
QUICK, EVERYBODY INTO THE HOUSE.
AHH!
RUFF! RUFF!
ALL RIGHT, PHOEBE, YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT'S IT.
THAT'S IT.
NO DINOSAURS, NO GHOSTS
NO GIANT DOGS, OKAY?
THEY'RE NOT THE RIGHT SIZE
THEY'RE NOT VICTORIAN, AND THEY JUST DON'T GO.
OKAY.
FINE.
COME, DINOSAUR.
WE'RE NOT WELCOME IN THE HOUSE OF NO IMAGINATION.
PHEEBS, WHILE WE'RE HOVERING AROUND THE SUBJECT
I JUST HAVE TO SAY THAT DINOSAURS
THEY DON'T GO "RUFF."
THE LITTLE ONES DO.
HEY, KATE.
MORNING.
I WENT TO THAT RESTAURANT YOU TOLD ME ABOUT…
HEY, LOVELY.
COME TALK TO ME FOR A MINUTE.
THEN I ATE THE FOOD.
IT WAS GOOD. I HAD THE FISH.
HI.
I'M LAUREN, KATE'S UNDERSTUDY.
OH, HEY. JOEY TRIBBIANI.
I KNOW.
I'M A BIG FAN OF YOURS.
WHAT?
I USED TO SCHEDULE MY CLASSES
SO I COULD WATCH DR. DRAKE RAMORAY
ON DAYS OF OUR LIVES.
GET OUT OF HERE.
REALLY?
ABSOLUTELY.
OH, BUT THEN THEY WENT
AND DROPPED YOU DOWN THAT ELEVATOR SHAFT.
THEY GAVE ME THE SHAFT, ALL RIGHT.
YOU'RE SO FUNNY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING AFTER REHEARSAL?
DO YOU WANT TO GET A DRINK OR SOMETHING?
WELL, UH…
YEAH. YEAH, SURE.
A DRINK SOUNDS GREAT.
COOL.
I'LL SEE YOU THEN.
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, IT'S TIME TO ACT
MY TALKING PROPS.
HEY.
LOOK, EVERYBODY. LOOK AT MY NEW DOLLHOUSE.
WOW!
OH!
LOOK, LOOK.
HEY, WHAT'S THIS?
OH, OKAY, IT'S A SLIDE INSTEAD OF STAIRS.
LOOK.
OH!
VERY INTERESTING, PHOEBE.
WHAT'S THIS?
THE LICORICE ROOM.
YOU CAN EAT ALL THE FURNITURE.
AND WHEN GUESTS COME OVER
THEY CAN STAY ON THE TOOTSIE ROLL-A-WAY BED.
THIS IS THE COOLEST HOUSE EVER.
HEY, DOES ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME
IN THE AROMA ROOM?
ALL RIGHT.
I WOULD.
HEY, GUYS
GUYS, DID YOU SEE MY NEW CHINA CABINET?
UH-HUH. UH-HUH.
WATCH. WATCH.
OOH! OOH!
AND, AND…
AH! AH!
HEY, MY FATHER'S HOUSE DOES THAT.
OKAY, HOW DID IT GO?
TELL ME EVERYTHING.
WELL, THE MOVIE WAS GREAT.
THE DINNER WAS GREAT.
AND THERE'S NOTHING LIKE A COOL, CRISP NEW YORK EVENING.
OF COURSE, I DIDN'T GET TO ENJOY ANY OF THAT
BECAUSE JOANNA'S SUCH A BIG, DULL DUD.
CHANDLER IS FANTASTIC!
WHAT?
OH, GOD, WE JUST CLICKED.
HE CAME BY TO PICK ME UP, I OPENED THE DOOR
AND IT WAS JUST LIKE, "CLICK."
DID HE TELL YOU?
AND HE'S GOT SUCH A GOOD HEART.
DOESN'T HE HAVE A GOOD HEART?
AND HE'S SO SWEET.
HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO CALL
SO PUT HIM STRAIGHT THROUGH.
ISN'T THIS GREAT?
DON'T SPOIL IT.
COME ON, BABY, DON'T GO.
PLEASE.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
HELLO?
OH, IT'S YOU.
JUST ONE SEC.
I AM GOING TO TAKE THIS CALL.
WHEN I CONTINUE, I HOPE THAT THERE WILL APPEAR ON STAGE
THIS MAGICAL THING
THAT IN THE THEATER WE CALL
COMMITTING TO THE MOMENT!
THE GUY'S LIKE A CARTOON.
WHAT DO YOU SEE IN HIM, ANYWAY?
HE HAPPENS TO BE BRILLIANT.
WHICH IS MORE THAN I CAN SAY
FOR THAT SWEATER YOU'RE DATING.
HEY, I'M NOT INTERESTED IN HER SWEATER.
IT'S WHAT'S UNDERNEATH HER SWEATER THAT COUNTS.
AND BESIDES, SINCE WHEN DO YOU CARE WHO I'M GOING OUT WITH?
I DON'T CARE.
WHY? DO YOU WANT ME TO CARE?
DO YOU WANT ME TO WANT YOU TO CARE?
DO YOU?
WHAT?
OKAY, I'M AFRAID TO SAY THIS
BUT LET'S PICK IT UP WHERE WE LEFT OFF.
COME ON, BABY, DON'T GO.
PLEASE?
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
I'VE GOT NO REASON TO STAY.
STOP!
STOP IT!
YOU MUST STOP!
YOU ARE BAD ACTORS.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE PLAY.
I'LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING.
I CAN'T BELIEVE WE GO ON IN A WEEK.
HEY, IT'S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT.
SO SINCE WE'RE GETTING OFF EARLY
DO YOU WANT TO GO AND PAINT MUGS?
WHAT?
YOU KNOW, AT THE PLACE I TOLD YOU ABOUT LAST NIGHT?
OH, YEAH. WITH THE MUG PAINTING.
YEAH.
I WAS SO LISTENING TO THAT.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
I THINK I KIND OF NEED TO WORK ON MY STUFF TONIGHT.
OH, OKAY.
I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
OKAY.
GOOD NIGHT.
UH… ARE YOU OKAY?
YEAH, I GUESS.
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT THE SCENE, HUH?
I DON'T KNOW.
WELL, UM…
MAYBE IF IT HAD MORE HEAT.
HOW DO YOU MEAN?
WELL…
ADRIENNE'S LOOKING FOR A REASON TO STAY, RIGHT?
VICTOR CAN'T JUST KISS HER.
HE'S GOT TO…
HE'S GOT TO REALLY GIVE HER A REASON.
MAYBE HE COULD SLIP HER THE TONGUE.
OR MAYBE…
MAYBE HE COULD GRAB HER AND…
AND LIFT HER UP.
YEAH, AND THEN ADRIENNE
MAYBE SHE COULD WRAP HER LEGS AROUND HIS WAIST.
AND THEN SHE COULD RIP OFF HIS SHIRT AND KISS HIS CHEST
AND HIS STOMACH.
AND THEN HE CAN USE HIS TEETH…
HIS TEETH TO UNDO HER DRESS AND… AND…
BITE HER.
AND THEN RIGHT WHEN THE SCENE ENDS
HE COULD TAKE HER WITH THIS RAW, ANIMAL…
SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
YEAH, THAT'S PRETTY MUCH WHAT I HAD IN MIND.
YEAH.
HEY.
WHAT'S UP?
HI.
HEY.
IT'S A LITTLE EARLY TO BE DRINKING.
NO, NO.
THINGS, UH, FINALLY HAPPENED WITH KATE.
OH, YOU'RE KIDDING.
THAT'S GREAT.
OH, IT WAS SO AMAZING.
AFTER THE… LOVEMAKING…
OH, MY.
I JUST…
I JUST WATCHED HER SLEEP FOR, LIKE, HOURS
JUST BREATHING IN AND BREATHING OUT.
AND THEN I KNEW SHE WAS DREAMING
'CAUSE HER EYES KEPT GOING LIKE THIS…
JOANNE'S GOT IT ALL WRONG, OKAY?
ALL I SAID WAS, "THIS WAS FUN.
"LET'S DO IT AGAIN SOMETIME.
I'LL GIVE YOU A CALL."
OH, GEE
I WONDER WHY SHE THINKS YOU WERE GOING TO CALL HER.
THAT'S WHAT YOU SAY AT THE END OF A DATE.
YOU CAN'T JUST SAY
"NICE TO MEET YOU. GOOD NIGHT"?
TO HER FACE?
IT'S THE END OF THE DATE.
SHE'S WAITING FOR ME TO SAY I'LL CALL HER
AND IT JUST COMES OUT.
I CAN'T HELP IT.
IT'S A COMPULSION.
COME ON, RACH
WHEN A GUY SAYS HE'S GOING TO CALL
IT DOESN'T MEAN HE'S GOING TO CALL.
THIS NEVER HAPPENED
TO YOU?
WELL, THEY ALWAYS CALLED.
BITE ME.
DID HE CALL?
NO. SORRY.
WHY? WHY?
HE SAID HE'D CALL.
WHY HASN'T HE CALLED?
MAYBE HE'S INTIMIDATED
BY REALLY SMART, STRONG, SUCCESSFUL WOMEN.
SOPHIE, PLEASE CLIMB OUT OF MY BUTT.
WHY HASN'T HE CALLED, RACHEL?
OKAY, OKAY.
UM, WELL, UH…
MAYBE HE FEELS AWKWARD BECAUSE YOU ARE MY BOSS.
WHY SHOULD HE FEEL AWKWARD?
YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO SHOULD FEEL AWKWARD
AND YOU DIDN'T TELL HIM NOT TO CALL ME, DID YOU?
NO, I…
BECAUSE IF YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE
WITH YOUR FRIEND DATING SOMEONE YOU WORK FOR
THERE ARE ALWAYS WAYS TO FIX THAT.
CALL HER. CALL HER NOW.
MULTIPLE… SO MANY PAPER CUTS.
"WHY HASN'T HE CALLED, RACHEL?
"WHY? I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
"HE SAID HE'D CALL. WHY?
I'M TELLING YOU, SHE'S FLIPPED OUT.
SHE'S GONE CRAZY.
OH. WELL, GIVE ME THE PHONE THEN.
THIS ISN'T FUNNY.
SHE THINKS IT'S MY FAULT THAT YOU HAVEN'T CALLED HER.
YOU HAVE TO CALL HER.
YOU CAN'T CALL SOMEBODY AFTER THIS LONG JUST TO SAY
"IN CASE YOU DIDN'T NOTICE, I DON'T LIKE YOU."
WELL, THEN
YOU'LL HAVE TO TAKE HER OUT AGAIN.
NO, SHE'S REALLY DULL
AND SHE GETS THIS GROSS MASCARA GOOP THING
IN THE CORNER OF HER EYE.
I DON'T CARE.
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE HER OUT AGAIN
AND END IT IN A WAY
THAT SHE KNOWS IT'S ACTUALLY ENDED.
AND I DON'T CARE HOW HARD IT IS FOR YOU.
DO NOT TELL HER THAT YOU WILL CALL HER AGAIN.
FINE, BUT IT'S JUST A LUNCH DATE.
AND FROM NOW ON, I GET MY OWN DATES.
I DON'T WANT YOU SETTING ME UP WITH ANYBODY EVER AGAIN.
THAT'S FINE.
THAT'S JUST A LOT OF BIG TALK, YOU KNOW.
I KNOW.
MON?
IN THE SHOWER!
OH! FIRE! THERE'S A FIRE! FIRE!
HEY.
HI.
SO, I, UH…
I TALKED TO LAUREN
AND I KIND OF TOLD HER HOW THINGS WERE WITH US.
DID YOU, UH, DID YOU TALK TO MARSHALL?
ABOUT WHAT?
YOU KNOW, ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED WITH US.
NO.
AND THERE'S REALLY NO REASON WHY HE SHOULD FIND OUT
SO, UH, LET'S NOT MAKE A BIG DEAL OF IT, OKAY?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
IT WAS A BIG DEAL.
HEY, COME ON
YOU CAN'T TELL ME LAST NIGHT DIDN'T MEAN SOMETHING TO YOU.
I WAS THERE.
YOU'RE NOT THAT GOOD AN ACTRESS.
LOOK, UM, I WAS JUST CAUGHT UP IN THE MOMENT.
THAT'S ALL IT WAS.
JOEY, I'M SORRY YOU FEEL BAD, BUT…
HAVEN'T YOU EVER SLEPT WITH A WOMAN
WHERE IT MEANT MORE TO HER THAN IT DID TO YOU?
NO.
HI, KATE.
HI, LAUREN.
HI, PIG.
SORRY I, UH…
I SCARED YOU IN THERE.
OH, THAT'S OKAY.
BY THE WAY
I WAS JUST CHECKING THE SHOWER MASSAGER.
YEAH. SHH…
HEY.
WE TRIED TO REACH YOU AT WORK.
THERE'S… BEEN A FIRE.
WHAT?
OH, MY… OH, MY GOD!
WHAT HAPPENED?
WELL, WE BELIEVE IT ORIGINATED HERE…
IN THE AROMA ROOM.
DID EVERYONE GET OUT OKAY?
WELL, THE GIRAFFE'S OKAY AND SO IS THE PIRATE.
WHAT IS THIS?
NO, PHOEBE, DON'T LOOK.
YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE WHAT'S UNDER THERE.
THE FOSTER PUPPETS!
IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL.
IT'S RIGHT HERE, AND IT'S ALL THE TIME.
WELL, THANKS AGAIN FOR LUNCH.
YES, THIS… THIS WAS PLEASANT.
IT WAS, WASN'T IT?
THE FOOD THERE WAS GREAT.
WASN'T IT?
SO TAKE CARE.
YOU, TOO.
WELL, THIS WAS GREAT.
I'LL GIVE YOU A CALL.
WE SHOULD DO IT AGAIN SOMETIME.
GREAT. I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.
RACHEL, ANY MESSAGES?
SOPHIE'S DESK.
CHANDLER…
ARE YOU GOING TO CALL HER?
NO.
CHANDLER…
I'M SORRY, OKAY?
I'M WEAK AND PATHETIC AND SORRY.
OKAY, YOU ARE GOING TO TELL HER.
YOU ARE GOING TO TELL HER NOW.
I'M NOT GOING TO CALL YOU.
WHAT?
I'M SORRY.
I'M… I'M… I'M SORRY
THAT I SAID I WAS GOING TO WHEN I'M NOT.
LOOK, THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.
AND THIS ISN'T RACHEL'S FAULT.
IT'S ME.
I HAVE SERIOUS, SERIOUS PROBLEMS WHEN IT COMES TO WOMEN.
I HAVE ISSUES WITH COMMITMENT, INTIMACY…
MASCARA GOOP.
AND I'M REALLY SORRY.
IT'S JUST THAT THIS IS NOT…
THIS ISN'T GOING TO WORK OUT.
WELL, THIS ISN'T HOW I WAS HOPING THIS WOULD END
BUT I GUESS I HAVE TO APPRECIATE YOUR HONESTY.
YEAH. OKAY.
SO…
THIS WAS GREAT.
I'LL GIVE YOU A CALL.
WE SHOULD DO IT AGAIN SOMETIME.
SO, ANYWAY, BETH, WHAT I'M SAYING IS
I SHOULD HAVE CONSIDERED YOUR FEELINGS
BEFORE I WENT HOME WITH YOU THAT NIGHT.
I'VE, UH…
I'VE RECENTLY LEARNED WHAT IT'S LIKE
TO BE ON YOUR SIDE OF IT
AND I'M SORRY.
SO, DO YOU THINK YOU CAN FORGIVE ME?
GREAT.
THANKS.
OKAY.
BYE.
WHEW.
HELLO. JENNIFER?
OH, HI, MRS. LORIO.
IS JENNIFER THERE?
AH, SHE'S NOT HOME, HUH?
WELL, UH, ACTUALLY
I KIND OF NEED TO TALK TO YOU, TOO.