SO I GO OVER THERE…
EXCUSE US.
I'M SORRY.
IT'S A LITTLE CROWDED. DO YOU MIND IF WE SIT…
YEAH, COULD YOU SKOOCH?
MOVE OVER JUST A LITTLE BIT?
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
KEEP ON SKOOCHING.
GRACIAS.
SO…
I GO OVER THERE, AND I'M…
WHAT… WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
WHAT'S THE MATTER? TIM…
I HAVE A FEELING…
I… MY WIFE IS SLEEPING WITH HER GYNECOLOGIST.
OH, NO. REALLY?
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
WELL, YOU KNOW, HE'S GOT ACCESS.
YOU KNOW, YOU JUST FEEL AND YOU GET, YOU KNOW?
LIKE GOING BOWLING AND YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN SOMEBODY ELSE'S SHOES?
THAT'S THE ONE.
ALL RIGHT, SO YOU WENT TO PETE'S…
WHAT HAPPENED?
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?
I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE IT'S MY WOUND.
FORGET IT.
YOUR WOUND?
IT'S NOT HEALED YET?
NO. IT OOZES.
COULD YOU PASS THE CREAM?
OH, THERE'S THE CREAM.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
TOMAS, THIS IS GOING TO BE HARD,
BUT I WANTED IT TO COME FROM ME AND NOBODY ELSE.
WHAT IS IT, TIM? IT'S ME. I'VE BEEN SLEEPING WITH YOUR WIFE.
SO YOU'RE THE GYNECOLOGIST?
HEY, I'M TRYING TO HAVE A PRIVATE CONVERSATION.
OH, CAN I HAVE A NAPKIN, PLEASE?
PLEASE HAND A…
GIVE ME THE THING, ALL RIGHT?
OH, THAT'S IT, ALL RIGHT. ENOUGH!
AND YOU ARE NO LONGER MY FRIEND!
WE ARE FINISH!
NADA! NO MORE!
YOU ARE A BASTARD FOR DOING THIS!
GET AWAY FROM ME!
TOMAS, PLEASE.
COME BACK HERE.
SO, MONICA, WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO TELL US?
I HAVE NO IDEA.
SO, COME ON, WHAT WAS THE BIG NEWS
PETE WANTED TO TELL YOU, MON?
OR SHOULD I SAY, MRS. MONICA BECKER?
NO, NO. OH, KEEP YOUR NAME
DON'T TAKE HIS NAME.
HE DIDN'T ASK ME TO MARRY HIM.
WELL, THEN, DEFINITELY DON'T TAKE HIS NAME.
HE WANTED TO TELL ME HE'S GOING TO COMPETE
IN SOME ULTIMATE FIGHTING COMPETITION THINGY.
PETE? WHAT?
WHY? WHAT IS IT?
I DON'T KNOW, EXACTLY.
IT'S SORT OF LIKE WRESTLING.
OH?
BUT WITHOUT THE COSTUMES.
OH.
AND IT'S NOT FAKE.
IT'S TOTALLY BRUTAL.
YEAH, IT'S TWO GUYS IN THE RING,
AND THE RULES ARE…
THERE ARE NO RULES.
YOU CAN, LIKE, BITE
AND PULL PEOPLE'S HAIR AND STUFF?
ANYTHING GOES EXCEPT EYE-GOUGING AND FISHHOOKING.
WHAT'S FISHHOOKING?
"WHAT'S FISH…"
THANKS, MAN. THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN REALLY HARD TO DESCRIBE.
WHAT IS THAT TASTE?
WHAT? MY HANDS ARE TOTALLY CLEAN.
I JUST GAVE THE DUCK A BATH.
SO THANKS FOR THE WARM WELCOME.
IT'S GOOD TO HAVE YOU GUYS ON MY TEAM.
I COME TO PLAY. I HOPE YOU DO, TOO.
NOW LET'S GO OUT THERE AND GET 'EM.
AND REMEMBER…
THERE IS NO "I" IN "TEAM."
YES, BUT THERE'S TWO IN "MARTINI."
SO EVERYBODY BACK TO MY OFFICE.
YOU… CHUCKLES.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
IT'S BING, SIR.
I'M SORRY. I WAS JUST…
NO, NO. I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID.
FUNNY. I LIKE FUNNY.
OH. WELL…
THIS TEAM'S ABOUT HARD WORK,
BUT IT'S ALSO ABOUT HAVING FUN.
GOOD TO HAVE YOU ABOARD, BING!
THAT'S RIGHT. RYDER.
WINONA RYDER, FOR SIX.
THANK YOU.
YEAH, WE HAVE THE RESERVATIONS.
ALL RIGHT, BUDDY.
WAY TO GO!
DUDE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
THANK YOU. TODAY, MY BOSS KEPT SLAPPING MY BUTT
AND HE WAS ACTING LIKE IT WAS NO BIG DEAL.
WHAT DID YOU DO ABOUT IT?
I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. I DIDN'T WANT TO BE THE GUY
WHO HAS A PROBLEM WITH HIS BOSS SLAPPING HIS BOTTOM.
I GOT TO TELL YOU, I THINK IT'S OKAY TO BE THAT GUY.
YEAH, MAYBE IT'S LIKE, YOU KNOW, THAT JOCK THING.
YOU KNOW, HOW FOOTBALL PLAYERS
PAT EACH OTHER AFTER TOUCHDOWNS.
YOU KNOW, I DON'T UNDERSTAND GUYS.
I MEAN, I… I WOULD NEVER CONGRATULATE MONICA
ON A GREAT STEW
BY, YOU KNOW, GRABBING HER BOOB.
YEAH, I KNOW. FOR A REALLY GREAT STEW
YOU JUST STICK YOUR HEAD IN BETWEEN THEM.
CAN WE PLEASE GO EAT?
YEAH. WHAT ARE WE GETTING?
ANYTHING BUT STEW.
ALL RIGHT, SO, CHANDLER, FROM NOW ON
DON'T GIVE YOUR BOSS A CHANCE TO GET YOU.
JUST DON'T TURN YOUR BACK TO HIM.
YEAH, OR YOU COULD TEACH HIM A LESSON, YOU KNOW?
WHAT YOU COULD DO IS YOU COULD RUB SOMETHING
THAT SMELLS REALLY BAD
ON YOUR BUTT, RIGHT?
THEN, WHEN HE GOES TO SMACK YOU
HIS HAND WILL SMELL.
NOW, WHAT COULD YOU RUB ON YOUR BUTT
THAT WOULD SMELL BAD?
WHAT IF JOEY WAS PRESIDENT?
HEY, RACH, CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?
YEAH. OKAY.
YOU CAN TOTALLY SAY NO.
BUT, UM, WOULD IT BE OKAY WITH YOU
IF I SET ROSS UP ON A DATE?
OH. UH… WITH WHO?
MY FRIEND BONNIE.
SHE ALWAYS THOUGHT ROSS WAS REALLY CUTE.
AND NOW THAT YOU TWO AREN'T TOGETHER
SHE ASKED IF I COULD SET IT UP.
BUT IF YOU'RE NOT COOL WITH IT…
WHICH ONE IS BONNIE AGAIN?
YOU REMEMBER HER FROM MY BIRTHDAY PARTY TWO YEARS AGO?
SHE'S, LIKE, AVERAGE HEIGHT…
MEDIUM BUILD…
BALD.
OH.
THAT'S FINE.
GREAT! OKAY.
GOOD FOR YOU.
ALL RIGHT!
YOU ARE IRON!
YOU ARE STEEL!
LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.
HOW COME WHEN I CALL YOUR COMPUTER SUPPORT LINE
I HAVE TO WAIT AN HOUR AND A HALF?
I TOLD YOU, WE'RE ADDING NEW OPERATORS ALL THE TIME.
CAN WE CONCENTRATE ON MY TRAINING?
IT'S JUST HARD WHEN I KNOW I HAVE E-MAIL I CAN'T GET!
HI.
MONICA.
HEY.
HI, HONEY.
ON THE TABLE.
HEY, UM… SO LISTEN, UM…
MY FRIENDS WERE TELLING ME A LITTLE BIT ABOUT
THIS ULTIMATE FIGHTING THING.
IT SOUNDS REALLY DANGEROUS.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO GET HURT BECAUSE I…
I KIND OF LIKE YOU.
BELIEVE ME, I DON'T WANT TO GET HURT, EITHER.
I'M BEING SMART ABOUT THIS.
SEE THESE GUYS?
THEY'RE THE BEST TRAINERS IN THE WORLD.
HOCHI HERE USED TO BE A PAID ASSASSIN.
A HOUSE PAINTER. HE USED TO BE A HOUSE PAINTER.
PROMISE ME YOU'LL BE CAREFUL.
I PROMISE.
ARE WE STILL ON FOR TONIGHT?
YEAH. GOOD.
MAYBE WE CAN HAVE A LITTLE WORKOUT OF OUR OWN.
NO! NO BOOM-BOOM BEFORE BIG FIGHT!
HOW ABOUT JUST A "BOOM"?
WOW, THAT WAS DEPRESSING.
I THINK I JUST BOUGHT A SOFT PRETZEL
FROM ONE OF THE KIDS FROM FAME.
OH… OH…
READY TO GO TO THE MOVIES?
MM-HMM. OH, RACH, THIS IS BONNIE.
HI.
THIS IS BONNIE?
YOU'RE BONNIE?
I CAN SHOW YOU AN I.D. IF YOU WANT.
OH, NO. I'M SORRY.
YOU LOOK A LOT DIFFERENT THAN THE LAST TIME I SAW YOU.
OH, YEAH. WELL, I JUST STARTED WEARING BRAS AGAIN.
OH, THAT MUST BE IT.
WELL, I HOPE YOU HAVE FUN TONIGHT.
THANKS. YOU, TOO.
YOU SAID SHE WAS BALD.
YEAH, SHE WAS BALD. SHE'S NOT NOW.
HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME THAT SHE HAS HAIR?
I DON'T KNOW. I HARDLY EVER SAY THAT ABOUT PEOPLE.
OH, WELL, THIS IS JUST PERFECT!
WELL, I'M SORRY.
I THOUGHT YOU SAID IT WAS OKAY.
YEAH, I SAID IT WAS OKAY WHEN I THOUGHT
SHE WAS SOME WEIRD BALD CHICK.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW…
THAT GIRL HAS GOT HAIR ALL OVER HER HEAD.
WELL, MAYBE IT WON'T WORK OUT.
MAYBE ROSS WON'T LIKE HER PERSONALITY.
DOES SHE HAVE A BAD PERSONALITY?
NO. BONNIE'S THE BEST.
BING!
READ YOUR COMPUTEK PROPOSAL.
REAL HOME RUN.
OOH!
BARELY GOT YOU THAT TIME.
GET OVER HERE.
COME ON.
WHAM! GOOD ONE.
THAT WAS A GOOD ONE.
KEEP AT IT, TEAM.
WHAT IS WITH HIM?
WITH HIM? YOU'RE HIS FAVORITE.
YOU'RE HIS GUY.
WE NEVER GET SMACKED.
WELL, THAT'S NOT TRUE. HE SMACKED YOU ONCE.
NOT ON PURPOSE. HE RICOCHETED OFF YOU AND GOT ME.
AND I'M TELLING YOU, I NEED SOME SMACKS.
I GOT A KID STARTING DARTMOUTH IN THE FALL.
DARTMOUTH? WHO WENT TO DARTMOUTH?
DARTMOUTH SUCKS.
DID YOU GO TO DARTMOUTH, BING?
NO, SIR. THERE YOU GO!
HEY.
GOD, ROSS, WHAT IS THAT?
IT'S THE ULTIMATE FIGHTING COMBO.
I SAVED 30 CENTS, PLUS I GET TO KEEP THE CUP. YAY!
FROM NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK
APPEARING IN HIS ULTIMATE FIGHTING CHAMPIONSHIP DEBUT…
HE'S KNOWN FOR HIS
432 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN…
INTRODUCING…
PETE… BECKER!
HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!
I LOVE YOU, PETE!
AND HIS OPPONENT, FROM HUNTINGTON BEACH, CALIFORNIA…
HE'S A 300-POUND
STREET FIGHTER…
TANK ABBOTT!
PETE! PETE!
THAT GUY'S PRETTY HUGE.
DON'T WORRY. HOCHI TAUGHT ME HOW TO USE
AN OPPONENT'S STRENGTH AND WEIGHT AGAINST HIM.
THEN THAT GUY IS IN SERIOUS, SERIOUS TROUBLE.
ALL RIGHT, YOU GO GET HIM! LET'S GO!
HERE WE GO, GENTLEMEN. HERE WE GO.
ARE YOU READY?
LET'S GET IT ON!
UH-OH.
OH!
HEY.
IT'S ME.
MO-NI-CA.
CAN I JUST TELL YOU HOW PROUD I AM OF YOU?
IT WOULD BE NICE AFTER HEARING 20,000 PEOPLE CHANT
"YOU SUCK!"
I MEAN, I THOUGHT YOU WERE NUTS AT FIRST
BUT YOU DID IT.
NOW YOU CAN JUST LOOK BACK AT THIS WHOLE THING
WITH NO REGRETS.
LOOK BACK?
WELL, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO KEEP GOING, ARE YOU?
WELL, LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION.
AM I THE ULTIMATE FIGHTING CHAMPION?
NO, BUT…
WELL, I'M NOT GOING TO STOP
UNTIL I'M THE ULTIMATE FIGHTING CHAMPION.
THAT GUY STOOD ON YOUR NECK UNTIL YOU PASSED OUT.
LET ME TELL YOU A STORY.
WHEN I SET OUT TO CREATE MOSS 865
DO YOU THINK IT JUST HAPPENED OVERNIGHT?
NO. THERE WAS MOSS ONE
THAT BURNED DOWN MY DAD'S GARAGE.
THERE WAS MOSS TWO THAT WOULD ONLY SCHEDULE APPOINTMENTS IN JANUARY
AND 862 OTHERS THAT I LEARNED FROM
JUST LIKE I LEARNED FROM THIS FIGHT
NEVER TO LET A GUY STAND ON MY NECK.
YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT ALREADY?
LOOK, I'M GOING TO GET BETTER.
OKAY? I PROMISE YOU.
OKAY.
JUST… GET A LOT BETTER… FAST.
OH, ONE OTHER THING…
HOCHI THINKS THAT YOU BEING RINGSIDE
MAY HAVE AFFECTED MY CONCENTRATION.
YEAH.
TH-THAT WAS THE PROBLEM.
HEY. HEY. HOW LONG UNTIL PETE'S FIGHT?
OH, ABOUT FIVE MINUTES.
RIGHT NOW THEY'RE INTERVIEWING HIS OPPONENT.
APPARENTLY, HE TRAINS BY GOING TO IRAN
AND PULLING THE ARMS OFF THIEVES.
WOW.
HOT DOG?
FOUR, PLEASE.
I'M REALLY NERVOUS.
THANK YOU.
SO, ROSS, HOW, UM… HOW DID IT GO WITH BONNIE?
OH, I GOT TO TELL YOU.
I WASN'T EXPECTING TO LIKE HER AT ALL.
I MEAN, I ACTUALLY WASN'T EXPECTING
TO LIKE ANYONE RIGHT NOW, BUT…
SHE'S REALLY TERRIFIC.
OH, IT'S TOO BAD.
NO, I… I'M SAYING I LIKED HER.
YEAH. THERE ARE OTHER FISH IN THE SEA.
PHEEBS, I THINK SHE'S GREAT, OKAY?
WE'RE GOING OUT AGAIN.
OKAY. I HEAR YOU.
ARE YOU CAPABLE OF TALKING ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE?
HEY, WHICH ONE'S MY TURKEY BURGER?
UH, THE ONE NEXT TO MY FOOT.
HEY, THE FIGHT'S STARTING.
OKAY. WE'LL BE RIGHT IN.
SO DID YOUR BOSS TRY TO SLAP YOU AGAIN TODAY?
NINE TIMES.
I HAD TO PUT ON LOTION.
BUT IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY
BECAUSE TOMORROW I'M CONDUCTING AN EXPERIMENT
AND IF ALL GOES AS PLANNED, MY BUTT WILL BE SMACK-FREE.
FIGHT'S OVER.
EXCUSE ME. DOUG?
HEY, THERE, SPORTS FANS!
BING, YOU GOT THOSE NUMBERS FOR ME?
NO. I, UH… I DIDN'T DO THEM.
OH? YOU FORGOT?
NO. NO, I JUST DIDN'T DO THEM.
INSTEAD I HUNG OUT WITH SOME FRIENDS
AND HAD A COUPLE OF BEERS.
SO I CERTAINLY DON'T DESERVE ANY PRAISE
VERBAL OR… OTHERWISE.
WELL, I GOT TANKED MYSELF LAST NIGHT.
PRETTY DICEY DRIVE HOME.
TAPPAN ZEE BRIDGE NEVER LOOKED SMALLER.
THAT'S OKAY. YOU'RE STILL MY NUMBER ONE GUY. BING!
DOUG!
HMM?
I'M A LITTLE BIT UNCOMFORTABLE
WITH THE WAY THAT YOU EXPRESS YOURSELF.
IS IT THE SWEARING?
I MEAN IS IT THE CONSTANT SWEARING?
BECAUSE, I GOT TO TELL YOU, IF IT IS
WELL, YOU CAN JUST KISS MY ASS. HUH?
NO. NO, IT'S NOT ABOUT THE SWEARING.
IT'S MORE ABOUT, UH… THE WAY THAT YOU
OCCASIONALLY CONCENTRATE
YOUR ENTHUSIASM…
ON MY BUTTOCKS.
OH. OH, AND DON'T GET ME WRONG.
I APPRECIATE THE SENTIMENT.
IT'S JUST THAT I… I HAVE A RATHER…
SENSITIVE POSTERIOR…
AND, UH, BESIDES IT'S MAKING
ALL THE OTHER GUYS JEALOUS.
WELL, SAY NO MORE.
YOU KNOW, IT TAKES GUTS TO BRING THIS UP.
BING! YOU'RE OKAY.
OKAY.
HA…
HUH…
OKAY, WOULD YOU RATHER LIVE
IN THE SHIRT POCKET OF A SWEATY GIANT
OR INSIDE HIS SHOWER DRAIN?
OH, MY GOD.
PHOEBE, LOOK, IT'S ROSS AND THAT GIRL.
NO! NO! LOOK AT THAT!
IT'S A LINE OF ANTS!
THEY'RE WORKING AS A TEAM.
PHOEBE, COME ON.
RIGHT. OH, YEAH.
WOW. OH. IT LOOKS LIKE ROSS
IS BREAKING UP WITH HER.
OOF, I HOPE HE LETS HER DOWN EASY. LET'S GO.
COME ON, PHOEBE! LOOK AT THAT.
THEY'RE NOT BREAKING UP. LOOK AT THEM!
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS? THIS IS A SECOND DATE.
THAT'S WHAT THAT IS.
LOOK AT THAT. SHE'S JUST PUT HER HAND ON HIS THIGH.
OH, NO, THAT REALLY IS NOTHING.
SHE'S VERY SEXUALLY AGGRESSIVE.
OH! PHOEBE, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.
NOW HE LOVES HER. HE'S GOING TO MARRY HER,
AND THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.
YOU SAID IT WAS OKAY.
YOU SAID SHE WAS BALD.
WAS. WAS, WAS, WAS, WAS, WAS.
PHOEBE, WE JUST CAN'T LET IT HAPPEN, OKAY?
WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING. WE HAVE TO BREAK THEM UP, OKAY?
JUST GO IN THERE AND, LIKE, SHAVE HER HEAD.
YOU OWE ME ONE BALD GIRL.
OKAY, FIRST OF ALL, BREATHE.
SECOND OF ALL, I DON'T GET IT.
AREN'T YOU THE ONE THAT DECIDED YOU DIDN'T WANT TO BE WITH ROSS?
YES.
WELL, ISN'T HE YOUR FRIEND?
DON'T YOU WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY?
YES.
SO?
IT'S JUST, YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T EXPECT HIM
TO BE THIS HAPPY SO SOON.
OH…
OH, NO. WHAT?
OH, WE KILLED THEM ALL.
OH!
IT'S OKAY. IT'S NOT AS BAD AS IT LOOKS.
IT'S A PRECAUTION.
I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO MOVE MY SPINE.
PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE STOPPING NOW.
I'M FINE. I'D FIGHT TONIGHT,
IF THEY'D LET ME.
NOW, SEE THIS CIRCLE I'M MARKING OFF HERE?
THIS IS MY ZONE OF TERROR.
YOU ARE INSANE.
YOU'VE GOT TO GIVE THIS UP.
I CAN'T UNTIL I'M THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER.
I WILL DO IT.
I'M TELLING YOU, THE DAY WILL COME
WHEN CHILDREN WILL ARGUE OVER WHO WILL WIN A FIGHT…
ME OR SUPERMAN.
NOW, I'M NOT SAYING I CAN BEAT SUPERMAN,
BUT KIDS ARE STUPID.
SIT DOWN. ALL RIGHT, PLEASE, LISTEN TO ME.
YOU ARE TERRIBLE AT THIS.
YOU ARE THE WORST ULTIMATE FIGHTER EVER.
EVER.
YOU KNOW, I HAVE A TORN ROTATOR CUFF
A HAIRLINE FRACTURE ON MY RIGHT FOREARM
AND A SEVERELY BRUISED ADAM'S APPLE, BUT THAT
REALLY HURT.
WELL, THEN, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I CARE ABOUT YOU TOO MUCH
TO WATCH YOU HURT YOURSELF LIKE THIS.
SO IF YOU HAVE TO DO THIS
THEN YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO DO IT WITHOUT ME.
WELL, IF YOU'RE ASKING ME TO QUIT
THEN YOU'RE ASKING ME TO BE SOMEONE I'M NOT.
I'VE GOT TO DO THIS.
THEN I'VE GOT TO GO.
GOOD-BYE.
MON… MONICA? YES?
COULD YOU LEAVE A NOTE 'CAUSE I'M ON A LOT OF PAINKILLERS NOW
AND I DON'T KNOW IF I'LL REMEMBER THIS TOMORROW.
SO, IN CONCLUSION,
THE LINES ALL GO UP, SO I'M HAPPY.
GREAT JOB, TEAM. TOMORROW, 8:30.
PHIL, NICE JOB.
STEVENS, WAY TO GO.
GOLDBERG, YOU MANIAC.
I LOVE YA.
BING, GOOD JOB.
COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU.
THANK YOU, SIR.
OH, EXCUSE ME.
FORGOT MY BRIEFCASE.
YOU KNOW, BY ACCIDENT.
OF COURSE YOU DID. FORGOT SOMETHING ELSE, TOO, YOU BASTARD.
WELL, WHAT ABOUT YOU?
YOU'RE NOT FEELING LEFT OUT OR ANYTHING, ARE YOU?
NO.
NO. NOT AT ALL. THAT'S… THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
EVERYBODY ELSE GOT ONE AND YOU WANT ONE, TOO, DON'T YOU?
YES. YES, I DO.
NOW, GET ON OUT OF HERE, YOU.
Pete Becker is circling the ring now.
Looks like he's just trying to feel him out.
Oh! Bruza is charging!
RUN! RUN, YOU CRAZY, RICH FREAK.
NO. I CAN'T WATCH THIS.
CHECK IT OUT, HE'S WINNING. PETE'S WINNING.
REALLY?
NO-OH-OH.
Uh-oh. Bruza has Becker on the canvas and is going
for his favorite area.
OH! UH-OH!
IF THAT'S HIS FAVORITE AREA, WHY IS HE BEING SO MEAN TO IT?
THIS IS IRONIC.
OF YOUR LAST TWO BOYFRIENDS
RICHARD DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE KIDS
AND FROM THE LOOKS OF IT, NOW PETE CAN'T.
WHOA! NO!