1
00:00:03,564 --> 00:00:04,982
So, now, what is this, now?

2
00:00:05,149 --> 00:00:07,442
- Googlie Worm.
- Ha-ha-ha.

3
00:00:07,610 --> 00:00:08,652
And this?

4
00:00:08,820 --> 00:00:10,237
Glow Pop Jiggly Jam.

5
00:00:12,031 --> 00:00:14,283
Bait is so funny.

6
00:00:14,867 --> 00:00:17,286
Hey, um, what's this?

7
00:00:17,912 --> 00:00:20,497
Oh, a hunk of sandwich from last year.

8
00:00:21,332 --> 00:00:25,836
Oh, Geller's got one hooked.
Oh! Looks like a big one. Oh! Oh!

9
00:00:26,004 --> 00:00:29,214
It's the classic struggle between man...

10
00:00:31,843 --> 00:00:33,468
Someone knocked over a lamp.

11
00:00:35,471 --> 00:00:38,390
Hey, you know what's gonna be great
about the fishing trip?

12
00:00:38,558 --> 00:00:42,227
When my dad gives me that, "Joey,
what are you doing with your life?" stuff...

13
00:00:42,395 --> 00:00:45,397
I can say, "Well, I'm doing a movie
with Charlton Heston, Dad.

14
00:00:45,565 --> 00:00:47,524
- What are you doing with your life?"
- Aw.

15
00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:55,032
You don't have to stop having fun
just because I'm here.

16
00:00:55,199 --> 00:00:57,909
Kathy didn't cheat on all of you.

17
00:00:59,579 --> 00:01:00,787
Well, except you.

18
00:01:10,548 --> 00:01:12,674
I don't think you should
leave Chandler alone.

19
00:01:12,842 --> 00:01:15,260
It's only been two days
since he broke up with Kathy.

20
00:01:15,428 --> 00:01:17,012
You can go fishing next week.

21
00:01:17,180 --> 00:01:20,223
There's nothing I can do right now.
He's still in his sweatpants.

22
00:01:20,391 --> 00:01:22,309
That's only phase one.

23
00:01:23,186 --> 00:01:26,688
You know? I'll be back for phase two.
I would never miss phase two.

24
00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:28,482
What's phase two?

25
00:01:28,649 --> 00:01:30,776
Getting drunk and going to a strip club.

26
00:01:33,029 --> 00:01:35,530
How does going to a strip club
make him better?

27
00:01:35,698 --> 00:01:37,741
There are naked ladies there.

28
00:01:38,117 --> 00:01:41,286
It helps him get to phase three,
picturing yourself with other women.

29
00:01:41,454 --> 00:01:44,289
- There are naked ladies there too.
- Yeah.

30
00:01:45,792 --> 00:01:48,752
Would you give me one minute, please?

31
00:02:40,304 --> 00:02:42,764
So these will match the jacket
you picked out for me last week?

32
00:02:42,932 --> 00:02:44,224
Mm-hm.

33
00:02:44,392 --> 00:02:46,184
There we go.

34
00:02:47,395 --> 00:02:49,771
There it is.

35
00:02:49,939 --> 00:02:51,398
- Oh, you know what I need?
- Yeah?

36
00:02:51,566 --> 00:02:55,026
- Gloves. Brown leather dress gloves.
- Oh, okay.

37
00:02:55,194 --> 00:02:58,488
Uh, well, let's see. You're about a...
Well, this one is large. Ha, ha.

38
00:02:58,656 --> 00:03:00,740
And, uh, this one...

39
00:03:00,908 --> 00:03:03,160
- Also a large?
- Yeah. Okay.

40
00:03:03,327 --> 00:03:05,745
- Yeah.
- Two larges coming right up. Ha, ha.

41
00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:10,542
- Rachel, could I have a moment?
Yes.

42
00:03:10,710 --> 00:03:13,462
I was wondering, my niece, you see,
is in town from London.

43
00:03:13,629 --> 00:03:15,922
- Uh-huh.
- Shropshire, really, but you know.

44
00:03:16,090 --> 00:03:18,258
She's about your age, I'd say.

45
00:03:18,468 --> 00:03:22,095
Anyway, I have tickets for the opera.
Die Fledermaus.

46
00:03:22,263 --> 00:03:24,973
I was wondering if you would
keep her company this evening.

47
00:03:25,183 --> 00:03:26,600
- Sure. You got it.
Oh, good.

48
00:03:26,767 --> 00:03:29,561
Count me in. Me, Fledermaus. Great.
I really...

49
00:03:29,729 --> 00:03:34,483
Oh, yes, of course. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you so very much.

50
00:03:34,650 --> 00:03:36,109
So?

51
00:03:38,404 --> 00:03:39,529
So...

52
00:03:44,035 --> 00:03:46,745
- Gloves?
- Oh, right. Sorry, I'll be right back.

53
00:03:46,913 --> 00:03:49,247
Actually, you know what? I gotta take off.

54
00:03:49,415 --> 00:03:52,375
But I was curious,
do you have any plans for tonight?

55
00:03:52,752 --> 00:03:54,461
No, nothing.

56
00:03:54,629 --> 00:03:57,464
I invested in this nightclub.
Would you like to come?

57
00:03:57,632 --> 00:03:59,549
Yeah, that would be great.

58
00:03:59,717 --> 00:04:01,635
You're into hard-core S and M, right?

59
00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:06,556
- Well, I guess.
- I'm kidding.

60
00:04:06,724 --> 00:04:09,100
Oh. Ha-ha-ha. Whew.

61
00:04:09,268 --> 00:04:12,604
I'm gonna put you on the VIP list, okay?
Look for me.

62
00:04:12,772 --> 00:04:14,981
- Yeah. Great. You betcha.
- I'll see you tonight.

63
00:04:15,149 --> 00:04:17,150
Okay.
- Okay.

64
00:04:17,318 --> 00:04:19,986
- I almost forgot the tickets, didn't I?
- What?

65
00:04:20,154 --> 00:04:23,490
For you and Emily. Tonight.
Die Fledermaus.

66
00:04:24,742 --> 00:04:26,785
Oh. Oh, right.

67
00:04:26,953 --> 00:04:29,579
I think you'll like it.
It has two of the Three Tenors.

68
00:04:29,747 --> 00:04:32,207
Okay.

69
00:04:37,463 --> 00:04:41,174
I can't believe Kathy did this to me.
I really thought that she was the one.

70
00:04:42,468 --> 00:04:43,718
Well, I'll tell you what.

71
00:04:43,886 --> 00:04:46,388
From now on,
I am not getting out of this chair, ever.

72
00:04:46,556 --> 00:04:49,724
Okay? From now on,
this chair is the one.

73
00:04:49,892 --> 00:04:52,727
You know what else is the one?
My sweatpants.

74
00:04:53,479 --> 00:04:56,731
Come on, man,
just take the sweats off, okay?

75
00:04:56,899 --> 00:04:59,317
Just take them off
and we'll have some fun.

76
00:05:02,863 --> 00:05:04,781
- Hey.
Hi.

77
00:05:04,949 --> 00:05:07,492
- Did you catch any big fish?
- Oh, my God, you guys have no idea.

78
00:05:07,660 --> 00:05:09,244
Oh, wow.
- Oh, my God, you stink.

79
00:05:09,412 --> 00:05:10,704
Oh, are you kidding?

80
00:05:11,455 --> 00:05:13,331
Three days on the lake without a shower.

81
00:05:13,499 --> 00:05:16,543
Plus, I fell into that big tub of worms
at the bait stand.

82
00:05:18,588 --> 00:05:19,796
Hey, how's he doing?

83
00:05:19,964 --> 00:05:22,090
He hasn't gotten out of that chair
in two days.

84
00:05:22,258 --> 00:05:23,675
Ahem. Hey, buddy, how's it going?

85
00:05:30,558 --> 00:05:33,560
You see that?
He just needed his pal to come home.

86
00:05:33,728 --> 00:05:35,186
I gotta go memorize my lines.

87
00:05:35,354 --> 00:05:37,939
Me and Charlton Heston,
bright and early tomorrow, baby.

88
00:05:38,107 --> 00:05:39,733
- Yeah.
Yeah.

89
00:05:41,027 --> 00:05:42,068
- Hey.
Hey.

90
00:05:42,236 --> 00:05:43,987
Hey.
- Hey, Monica.

91
00:05:44,155 --> 00:05:47,490
- Uh-oh. What's the matter?
- Oh...

92
00:05:47,658 --> 00:05:51,828
Joshua invited me
to this fancy club opening tonight.

93
00:05:53,205 --> 00:05:54,873
But I already told Mr. Waltham...

94
00:05:55,041 --> 00:05:59,377
that I would take his niece
to the dumb old opera.

95
00:05:59,879 --> 00:06:02,005
So, what are you gonna do?

96
00:06:03,382 --> 00:06:05,675
- I don't know, sweetie.
- No. Help me.

97
00:06:06,218 --> 00:06:08,928
- I can't. I have to work.
- Phoebe?

98
00:06:09,096 --> 00:06:11,514
I would, but I get my morning sickness
in the evening.

99
00:06:12,892 --> 00:06:15,852
Ooh, no, unless she wants to spend
the night holding my hair back for me.

100
00:06:16,020 --> 00:06:19,898
Ugh. Gosh, you guys, come on. This is...
I have to meet Joshua.

101
00:06:20,066 --> 00:06:22,692
This is my one chance
for him to see the fun Rachel.

102
00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:26,988
You know, the "Wouldn't it be great
if she were my wife?" Rachel.

103
00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:30,825
Are Joey and Chandler back?

104
00:06:30,993 --> 00:06:34,162
Oh, Chandler's still in phase one,
and Joey's that thing you smell.

105
00:06:34,330 --> 00:06:35,580
Oh.

106
00:06:39,835 --> 00:06:44,381
Hi.

107
00:06:46,592 --> 00:06:48,051
So?

108
00:06:50,429 --> 00:06:51,471
No.

109
00:06:51,639 --> 00:06:53,807
Oh, come on.

110
00:06:55,559 --> 00:06:59,104
- I think she's here.
- No, wait, wait, wait. Ross, please?

111
00:06:59,271 --> 00:07:02,607
You want me to take some girl
I've never met to the opera...

112
00:07:02,775 --> 00:07:05,985
so you can go to a club
and flirt with some guy?

113
00:07:06,153 --> 00:07:09,531
Hmm. Yeah, that is a toughie.

114
00:07:09,699 --> 00:07:11,741
Oh, she's looking down the hall.

115
00:07:13,119 --> 00:07:14,869
She looked right at me.

116
00:07:15,329 --> 00:07:18,748
Oh, wait, you can't see people
through that little hole, can you?

117
00:07:19,792 --> 00:07:21,960
Hello.

118
00:07:22,128 --> 00:07:23,962
Hello?
- Aah!

119
00:07:25,089 --> 00:07:27,716
Oh, I'll be right there.
Okay, Ross, please. Come on.

120
00:07:27,883 --> 00:07:29,300
I thought we had moved on.

121
00:07:29,468 --> 00:07:32,804
I thought we'd gotten to a place
where we could be happy for each other.

122
00:07:32,972 --> 00:07:34,222
I mean, was that just me?

123
00:07:36,142 --> 00:07:40,019
- All right, I'll do it.
- Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.

124
00:07:40,563 --> 00:07:42,439
- Emily?
- Yes.

125
00:07:42,606 --> 00:07:45,567
- I'm Rachel Green.
- Thank goodness.

126
00:07:45,735 --> 00:07:50,071
There has been a teeny change of plans.
It turns out I'm not free tonight, so...

127
00:07:50,239 --> 00:07:52,323
Really? Heh.

128
00:07:52,491 --> 00:07:56,828
That's lovely. I must have missed your call,
even though I didn't leave the flat all day.

129
00:07:56,996 --> 00:07:59,247
- Well, no, I...
- No, no, no, that's not rude.

130
00:07:59,415 --> 00:08:00,832
It's in keeping with a trip...

131
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:04,961
where I've already been run down
by one of your wiener carts...

132
00:08:05,129 --> 00:08:07,797
and been strip-searched
at John F. Kennedy Airport.

133
00:08:07,965 --> 00:08:09,549
Apparently, I look like someone...

134
00:08:09,717 --> 00:08:13,052
who's got a balloon full of cocaine
stuffed up their bum.

135
00:08:15,514 --> 00:08:18,308
I think you look great.

136
00:08:19,101 --> 00:08:21,853
Good night.
It was very nice to meet you all.

137
00:08:25,316 --> 00:08:26,858
I'll get her.

138
00:08:27,485 --> 00:08:29,694
- Please hurry.
- Okay.

139
00:08:30,821 --> 00:08:32,989
Don't you just love the way they talk?

140
00:08:33,157 --> 00:08:34,657
"Ooh. Oh."

141
00:08:42,541 --> 00:08:43,541
Oh!

142
00:08:43,709 --> 00:08:45,710
- What?
- It kicked. I think the baby kicked.

143
00:08:45,878 --> 00:08:47,170
- Oh, my God.
- Ha, ha.

144
00:08:47,338 --> 00:08:51,090
Oh, no, wait. Oh. That was the elastic
in my underwear busted.

145
00:08:52,802 --> 00:08:54,928
Oh, my God. I overslept.

146
00:08:55,095 --> 00:08:58,598
I was supposed to be on the set
a half an hour ago. I gotta get out of here.

147
00:08:58,766 --> 00:09:01,100
What? Joey, you can't go like that.
You stink.

148
00:09:01,268 --> 00:09:04,020
I fell asleep before I could shower.
Now I don't have time.

149
00:09:04,188 --> 00:09:06,689
They're 10 blocks away.
If I run, I can make it.

150
00:09:06,857 --> 00:09:09,192
Yeah, run 10 blocks.
That'll help the smell.

151
00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:12,904
Hey. Whoa! Slow down.
No, keep moving. Whoa.

152
00:09:13,072 --> 00:09:17,242
- So how did it go with Joshua last night?
- Oh. Well, I didn't see Joshua.

153
00:09:17,409 --> 00:09:20,328
But I did punch a girl in the face.

154
00:09:20,496 --> 00:09:21,538
- What?
- Why?

155
00:09:21,705 --> 00:09:24,123
The whole night was horrible.
It was pouring rain.

156
00:09:24,291 --> 00:09:29,254
And there was no Rachel Green on the list,
but there was a Rachel Greep.

157
00:09:29,421 --> 00:09:31,214
Oh. So did you get to meet her?

158
00:09:34,260 --> 00:09:37,929
No, there is no Rachel Greep.
But then this other girl overheard us.

159
00:09:38,097 --> 00:09:41,641
And she was all, "I'm Rachel Greep,
I'm Rachel Greep," and he let her in.

160
00:09:41,809 --> 00:09:44,269
- So you hit her in the face?
- No, she was already in.

161
00:09:44,436 --> 00:09:47,772
But then this big bitch behind me
tried to steal my umbrella...

162
00:09:47,940 --> 00:09:49,023
so I clocked her.

163
00:09:50,359 --> 00:09:52,360
Ugh. I can't believe this.

164
00:09:52,528 --> 00:09:56,948
All I wanted was just a few hours
outside of work to see Joshua...

165
00:09:57,116 --> 00:10:00,618
so that he could go ahead
and start falling in love with me.

166
00:10:02,454 --> 00:10:05,456
Aw. Pheebs.

167
00:10:07,084 --> 00:10:08,251
Honey, that's your name.

168
00:10:10,212 --> 00:10:13,840
That's short for Phoebe?
I thought that's what we called each other.

169
00:10:17,386 --> 00:10:19,679
Hey, you're wearing pants.
- That's right.

170
00:10:19,847 --> 00:10:22,724
Where are the guys?
I'm ready to get drunk and see strippers.

171
00:10:24,018 --> 00:10:27,604
- It's 9:30 in the morning.
- They got a breakfast buffet.

172
00:10:29,940 --> 00:10:32,817
- Hello? Oh, hey, Ross.
- Ooh. Let me talk to him.

173
00:10:32,985 --> 00:10:34,027
Oh, my God.

174
00:10:34,194 --> 00:10:35,528
- Can't I just...?
- Shh. Wait, what?

175
00:10:35,696 --> 00:10:38,031
- It's my phone and she's shush...
- Shh. Please.

176
00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:39,616
What's he saying?

177
00:10:40,034 --> 00:10:42,368
He's with Emily at a bed and breakfast
in Vermont.

178
00:10:42,536 --> 00:10:44,454
What? Oh, my God.

179
00:10:44,622 --> 00:10:47,999
Who the hell is Emily? No.

180
00:10:50,711 --> 00:10:52,503
They're in Vermont?
How did this happen?

181
00:10:52,671 --> 00:10:54,088
Ow.

182
00:10:54,924 --> 00:10:57,634
How did he end up in Vermont
with that awful witch?

183
00:10:58,177 --> 00:11:00,178
Maybe she doesn't hit him all the time.

184
00:11:01,597 --> 00:11:03,014
When we met her...

185
00:11:03,182 --> 00:11:05,183
she was soaking, her feet were wet.

186
00:11:05,351 --> 00:11:06,935
Who wouldn't be miserable?

187
00:11:07,102 --> 00:11:11,397
Once I got her into a dry pair of shoes,
she was a totally different person.

188
00:11:11,565 --> 00:11:15,193
Ross, come quickly. There's a deer outside
eating fruit from the orchard.

189
00:11:15,361 --> 00:11:19,197
I gotta go! There's a deer outside
eating fruit from the orchard!

190
00:11:21,700 --> 00:11:25,578
He had to go. There was a deer outside
eating fruit from the orchard.

191
00:11:27,039 --> 00:11:29,374
I don't get this. She was horrible.

192
00:11:29,541 --> 00:11:31,584
Okay, I'm gonna go stand over there.

193
00:11:33,379 --> 00:11:36,965
- Why do you care so much, anyway?
- I don't care.

194
00:11:38,634 --> 00:11:42,011
You know what? I'm just upset
that I'm getting nowhere with Joshua.

195
00:11:42,179 --> 00:11:46,432
Know what? Still, you do not just meet
someone and go flitting off to Vermont.

196
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:49,644
Well, when you first met Barry,
you flitted off to Vail.

197
00:11:49,812 --> 00:11:54,774
Ugh. You know, could you just for once
not remember every little thing?

198
00:11:57,653 --> 00:12:00,238
So, you know, when's he getting back?

199
00:12:00,406 --> 00:12:01,906
- A couple of days.
- Know what?

200
00:12:02,074 --> 00:12:04,242
I knew something like this
was gonna happen.

201
00:12:04,410 --> 00:12:06,494
What are you doing?

202
00:12:06,954 --> 00:12:09,914
Chandler. You can't just go back a phase.

203
00:12:10,082 --> 00:12:13,543
Yes, you can. You're thinking about time.
You can't go back in time.

204
00:12:15,587 --> 00:12:19,966
Why don't you just...? Why don't you do
your phase-two strip-club thing with us?

205
00:12:20,134 --> 00:12:23,428
- Yeah, come on, we can be guys.
- Heh. No, you can't.

206
00:12:24,513 --> 00:12:27,265
Come on, let us be guys.
Maybe we wanna be guys.

207
00:12:27,433 --> 00:12:28,558
You don't wanna be guys.

208
00:12:28,726 --> 00:12:31,477
You'd be all hairy
and you wouldn't live as long.

209
00:12:31,645 --> 00:12:32,937
You know, you...

210
00:12:33,105 --> 00:12:36,858
Would you just stop being such a wuss
and get those off?

211
00:12:37,026 --> 00:12:39,986
And you come with us
and watch naked girls dance around.

212
00:12:41,739 --> 00:12:43,281
Okay.

213
00:12:44,658 --> 00:12:46,451
I'm sorry.

214
00:12:51,373 --> 00:12:53,291
Hey, Joey Tribbiani. I'm here, I'm here.

215
00:12:53,459 --> 00:12:55,460
Calm down, we got time.
We're running a little late.

216
00:12:55,627 --> 00:12:56,669
Oh.

217
00:12:58,839 --> 00:13:00,339
All set.

218
00:13:04,011 --> 00:13:07,305
Look at that.
Charlton Heston eating a licorice whip.

219
00:13:08,015 --> 00:13:10,516
Yeah, he loves them.
I've never seen him with...

220
00:13:14,021 --> 00:13:18,983
Whoa. Yeah. What the hell is that?
What smells so bad?

221
00:13:19,151 --> 00:13:21,110
- You.
- Oh.

222
00:13:21,278 --> 00:13:26,157
I could see why you would think that.
But actually, you know who I think it is?

223
00:13:26,325 --> 00:13:30,161
- You?
- No, no. It's Heston.

224
00:13:32,748 --> 00:13:34,832
- What?
- The man reeks.

225
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:38,252
Smells like he went on a three-day
fishing trip and then ate licorice. Ick.

226
00:13:38,921 --> 00:13:40,129
There's no way he smells.

227
00:13:40,297 --> 00:13:43,424
He's the only one around here
with a shower in his dressing room.

228
00:13:43,592 --> 00:13:47,595
Really? A shower, huh?
And, uh, which room might that be?

229
00:13:48,222 --> 00:13:51,015
The one with "Heston" on it.

230
00:13:51,975 --> 00:13:54,102
Interesting.

231
00:14:01,860 --> 00:14:04,112
Gonna take my time

232
00:14:05,864 --> 00:14:10,618
Hey. I got some ones.
You wanna put them in her panties?

233
00:14:10,786 --> 00:14:13,204
No, thanks, Mom.

234
00:14:15,124 --> 00:14:17,959
Oh. No. Um, hi. That, that.

235
00:14:18,127 --> 00:14:20,878
You have to put that out
because I'm pregnant, so...

236
00:14:21,046 --> 00:14:24,799
Well, maybe you and your baby
ought to go to another strip club.

237
00:14:25,300 --> 00:14:28,010
Heh, heh. It's not my baby. Heh, heh.

238
00:14:30,430 --> 00:14:33,724
Very good. Yes. That was so good.

239
00:14:33,892 --> 00:14:38,312
Really, really enjoyed it. Very exotic.

240
00:14:38,981 --> 00:14:42,233
Well, I just checked our messages,
and Joshua didn't call.

241
00:14:42,401 --> 00:14:45,820
I mean, you would think he'd be worried
about me not showing up.

242
00:14:45,988 --> 00:14:50,783
Ugh. And you know what makes it worse?
Ross is all happy in Vermont.

243
00:14:50,951 --> 00:14:53,911
Come on, look where you are.

244
00:14:55,372 --> 00:14:59,208
- Another round of daiquiris.
- Remember, virgin for me, please.

245
00:14:59,376 --> 00:15:02,670
Oh, and don't let me leave
without getting the name of that carpet guy.

246
00:15:02,838 --> 00:15:04,463
Oh, come on.

247
00:15:05,257 --> 00:15:07,758
You know what?
I'm just gonna go home and call Kathy.

248
00:15:07,926 --> 00:15:11,095
- Well, if you think it'll help.
- No. That was a test.

249
00:15:11,263 --> 00:15:14,223
In a couple hours, I'm gonna get drunk
and wanna call Kathy...

250
00:15:14,391 --> 00:15:15,641
and you have to stop me.

251
00:15:15,809 --> 00:15:18,686
Then I'm gonna be so drunk,
I'm gonna wanna call Janice.

252
00:15:18,854 --> 00:15:20,605
- You should. How is she?
- Oh!

253
00:15:22,399 --> 00:15:24,984
I think somebody
needs another lap dance.

254
00:15:42,211 --> 00:15:45,254
Hello? Who's in there?

255
00:15:50,469 --> 00:15:51,886
How you doing?

256
00:15:52,846 --> 00:15:54,847
Who in the hell are you?

257
00:15:55,015 --> 00:15:58,517
Uh, guess you wouldn't believe me
if I said I was Kirk Douglas, huh?

258
00:15:59,895 --> 00:16:03,481
Put some pants on, kid,
so I can kick your butt.

259
00:16:04,483 --> 00:16:06,567
No, no, no, wait. You don't understand.

260
00:16:06,735 --> 00:16:09,570
See, I'm an actor.

261
00:16:10,739 --> 00:16:13,658
Joey Tribbiani.
I'm doing a scene with you today.

262
00:16:13,825 --> 00:16:15,034
And, well, I stink.

263
00:16:16,245 --> 00:16:18,246
- You're in this picture?
- Yeah, yeah.

264
00:16:18,413 --> 00:16:22,041
I'm one of the cops who won't work
with you because you're a loose cannon.

265
00:16:22,209 --> 00:16:25,169
Anyway, look, I'm really sorry, but I just...
I stink.

266
00:16:27,172 --> 00:16:29,674
- Joey, right?
- Yeah.

267
00:16:32,803 --> 00:16:36,305
Every actor, one time or another... Ah.

268
00:16:38,892 --> 00:16:40,810
Every actor thinks he stinks.

269
00:16:40,978 --> 00:16:44,522
Even Laurence Olivier
sometimes thought he stank.

270
00:16:44,690 --> 00:16:48,484
- Bob Redford won't even watch himself.
- No, no, no, you don't understand.

271
00:16:48,652 --> 00:16:51,028
- Listen to me.
- No... Yeah.

272
00:16:51,780 --> 00:16:53,823
I don't know one actor worth his salt...

273
00:16:53,991 --> 00:16:58,619
who one time in his career didn't say,
"God, I stink."

274
00:16:58,787 --> 00:17:03,374
Hell, I just did a scene out there.
First take, I stunk the place up.

275
00:17:04,584 --> 00:17:08,963
But the important thing
that you must remember...

276
00:17:09,131 --> 00:17:12,091
no matter how badly
you think you stink...

277
00:17:12,259 --> 00:17:17,888
you must never, ever bust into
my dressing room and use my shower.

278
00:17:18,390 --> 00:17:20,057
Do you understand me?

279
00:17:20,225 --> 00:17:23,269
- Yes, sir. Yes, sir. I'm very sorry.
- Wait a minute.

280
00:17:23,437 --> 00:17:26,230
- Take your pants.
- Yeah. Oh, yeah.

281
00:17:29,109 --> 00:17:32,570
- So we did okay at the strip club, right?
- Oh, yeah. That was great.

282
00:17:32,738 --> 00:17:35,323
Thanks to you,
the hottest waitress there is quitting...

283
00:17:35,490 --> 00:17:37,491
to teach the third grade.

284
00:17:38,368 --> 00:17:40,369
I can't believe it. He still hasn't called.

285
00:17:40,537 --> 00:17:42,747
- Who, Josh?
- It's "Joshua."

286
00:17:42,914 --> 00:17:45,416
- What, he doesn't like "Josh"?
- No, I don't.

287
00:17:46,793 --> 00:17:49,086
All right.
Well, I'm gonna put my sweats back on.

288
00:17:49,254 --> 00:17:51,255
No, wait. You know what?
You were right.

289
00:17:51,423 --> 00:17:54,342
We really weren't great at being guys.
But do you know why?

290
00:17:54,509 --> 00:17:56,886
Because we're girls.

291
00:17:57,679 --> 00:18:00,056
- Yeah.
- Do you know what girls are good at?

292
00:18:00,223 --> 00:18:01,474
Stripping.

293
00:18:03,602 --> 00:18:06,604
No, listening. Sit.

294
00:18:06,772 --> 00:18:11,609
You know, maybe it would really,
really help if you would just talk.

295
00:18:11,777 --> 00:18:14,779
Yeah, come on.
What's going on in there?

296
00:18:16,448 --> 00:18:17,448
Yeah.

297
00:18:17,616 --> 00:18:21,118
And you know, if you wanna cry,
that's okay too.

298
00:18:22,037 --> 00:18:24,789
Okay, look,
I'm gonna have to ask you all to leave.

299
00:18:24,956 --> 00:18:26,374
Come on, Chandler.

300
00:18:26,541 --> 00:18:30,795
Look, forget it.
We tried, but phase three is a lost cause.

301
00:18:30,962 --> 00:18:32,630
Those strippers were insanely hot...

302
00:18:32,798 --> 00:18:35,674
and I couldn't picture myself
with any of them.

303
00:18:39,513 --> 00:18:41,889
- They really were pretty, weren't they?
Oh.

304
00:18:42,057 --> 00:18:44,600
- I really liked that fighter pilot one.
Oh, Candy?

305
00:18:44,768 --> 00:18:48,396
- Oh, she was so spunky.
- Yeah.

306
00:18:48,563 --> 00:18:51,524
You know,
I think if I were gonna be with a woman...

307
00:18:54,069 --> 00:18:55,861
it'd be with someone like Michelle.

308
00:18:56,029 --> 00:18:59,073
She was... Oh, she was just so petite.

309
00:18:59,241 --> 00:19:01,784
See, I don't know.
For me, it would have to be Chantal.

310
00:19:01,952 --> 00:19:03,285
- Oh, Chantal, yeah.
- Chantal.

311
00:19:03,453 --> 00:19:05,830
You know? Oh, my God. The... Oh.

312
00:19:05,997 --> 00:19:07,456
She had the smoothest skin.

313
00:19:07,624 --> 00:19:11,961
I mean, when I stuck that dollar bill
in her G-string and grazed her thigh...

314
00:19:12,129 --> 00:19:14,088
Phase three!

315
00:19:14,256 --> 00:19:16,006
I just achieved phase three!

316
00:19:16,341 --> 00:19:17,341
Really?

317
00:19:17,509 --> 00:19:20,010
I am totally picturing you
with all those women.

318
00:19:21,513 --> 00:19:25,558
- That's not phase three.
- Well, I'm there too.

319
00:19:26,893 --> 00:19:31,063
- Well, are we all together in a group?
- Stop it, you're killing me.

320
00:19:31,231 --> 00:19:33,149
I think I just moved on to phase four.

321
00:19:33,316 --> 00:19:36,193
- Oh, what is that?
- Where I don't want a relationship ever.

322
00:19:36,361 --> 00:19:39,864
I just wanna have sex with strippers
and my friends.

323
00:19:43,577 --> 00:19:47,163
Come on. Let me see that smile.

324
00:19:47,372 --> 00:19:48,497
I don't wanna.

325
00:19:49,249 --> 00:19:50,291
Please?

326
00:19:51,042 --> 00:19:53,377
I wanted to go to the strip club.

327
00:19:54,129 --> 00:19:56,046
You're gonna have plenty of chances,
okay?

328
00:19:56,214 --> 00:20:00,217
There are thousands of women out there
who are just waiting to screw me over.

329
00:20:01,386 --> 00:20:03,387
Yeah, all right.

330
00:20:04,222 --> 00:20:05,389
Hey.
- Hey.

331
00:20:05,557 --> 00:20:07,850
Hey. Ooh, how was Vermont?

332
00:20:08,018 --> 00:20:10,978
Emily is incredible.

333
00:20:11,146 --> 00:20:13,606
I mean,
there are no words to describe her.

334
00:20:13,773 --> 00:20:17,693
The whole weekend was like a dream.

335
00:20:18,528 --> 00:20:21,280
- Oh. And you. Rach. Hey.
- Oh, hey.

336
00:20:22,199 --> 00:20:24,950
- You were so right.
- What?

337
00:20:25,118 --> 00:20:27,912
What you said about us
finally being in a place...

338
00:20:28,079 --> 00:20:30,039
where we could really be happy
for each other.

339
00:20:30,207 --> 00:20:32,458
- Hmm.
- I mean, I...

340
00:20:32,626 --> 00:20:36,045
- I admit, I wasn't quite there.
- Mm-hm.

341
00:20:36,213 --> 00:20:39,340
You know, I mean,
the thought of you and that Josh guy...

342
00:20:39,508 --> 00:20:43,344
- "Joshua."
- Joshua guy at that club...

343
00:20:43,512 --> 00:20:45,679
dancing, having a good time.

344
00:20:45,847 --> 00:20:47,598
And the thought of it kind of...

345
00:20:48,767 --> 00:20:49,808
- You know?
- Yeah.

346
00:20:49,976 --> 00:20:53,729
But now, but now, I'm totally there.

347
00:20:53,897 --> 00:20:56,148
I'm finally where you are.

348
00:20:56,316 --> 00:20:58,067
Oh, thank goodness.

349
00:20:58,235 --> 00:21:01,278
Yeah, and thank you for Emily.

350
00:21:01,446 --> 00:21:05,115
Oh, no problem.
I'm so glad I could help, you know?

351
00:21:05,283 --> 00:21:07,159
I'm happy for you.

352
00:21:07,327 --> 00:21:08,452
Happy for you.

353
00:21:08,620 --> 00:21:11,956
Oh, no, happy for you.

354
00:21:16,628 --> 00:21:18,879
All right, ladies,
here's what we're gonna do.

355
00:21:19,047 --> 00:21:21,549
You are gonna take off my clothes.

356
00:21:21,716 --> 00:21:23,884
You two go get the oils.

357
00:21:24,052 --> 00:21:26,387
And you constantly scream
at the top of your voice:

358
00:21:26,555 --> 00:21:28,931
"Chandler's the king!
Chandler's the king!"

359
00:21:29,516 --> 00:21:31,517
No, I wanna be with her. I like her.

360
00:21:31,685 --> 00:21:34,812
Oh, that's fine. Go with your instincts.
Go with your instincts.

361
00:21:34,980 --> 00:21:36,313
Wait, what am I doing again?

362
00:21:36,481 --> 00:21:39,358
Would you please pay attention?
I could wake up at any moment.

363
00:21:39,526 --> 00:21:42,027
Hi, I'm Joshua.
I'm here to pick up Rachel.

364
00:21:42,195 --> 00:21:44,029
No, no, no, that's not Joshua.

365
00:21:44,864 --> 00:21:47,324
What do you want from me?
I never met the guy.

366
00:21:48,326 --> 00:21:53,622
So anyway, Rachel, I'm sorry you can't stay.
The rest of us have a lot of work to do.

367
00:21:57,294 --> 00:21:58,961
What are you doing?

368
00:21:59,838 --> 00:22:02,006
All right, listen, I gotta wake up.