1 00:00:03,665 --> 00:00:06,458 - Hey. - Hey. Wow, it is true what they say: 2 00:00:06,626 --> 00:00:08,418 Pregnant bellies look like a drum. 3 00:00:10,964 --> 00:00:12,131 Ha, ha. 4 00:00:12,298 --> 00:00:16,885 Well, it's just I'm so pregnant that my guitar doesn't fit anymore. 5 00:00:17,053 --> 00:00:19,888 So I thought, till I'm not, I'm gonna play my songs on this drum. 6 00:00:20,056 --> 00:00:21,765 It sounds really cool. 7 00:00:21,933 --> 00:00:25,394 Listen, listen. Ahem. Okay. 8 00:00:26,062 --> 00:00:29,439 Smelly cat, smelly cat 9 00:00:29,607 --> 00:00:33,026 What are they feeding you? 10 00:00:39,033 --> 00:00:40,242 Wow, Pheebs, that sounds great. 11 00:00:40,410 --> 00:00:43,829 I know, I know! And I've only been playing for, like, an hour. 12 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:49,001 - Phoebe. Phoebe. Hi. - Hey. 13 00:00:49,169 --> 00:00:50,210 What are you doing here? 14 00:00:50,378 --> 00:00:52,713 Um, actually I came down to ask you a big favor. 15 00:00:52,881 --> 00:00:56,633 Oh, well, don't tell me you want to keep more of your stuff in my uterus. 16 00:00:58,887 --> 00:01:02,514 No, no, no. Okay. Now, see. Ahem. 17 00:01:02,682 --> 00:01:05,058 I want to name the girl baby Leslie. 18 00:01:05,226 --> 00:01:08,854 And, um, Frank wants to name one of the boy babies... 19 00:01:09,022 --> 00:01:10,814 Frank Jr., Jr. 20 00:01:12,650 --> 00:01:14,109 Wouldn't that be Frank III? 21 00:01:14,485 --> 00:01:16,320 Don't get me started. 22 00:01:17,906 --> 00:01:20,240 Anyway, um, since there are three babies... 23 00:01:20,408 --> 00:01:23,744 and, um, we both got to put our names in... 24 00:01:23,912 --> 00:01:27,456 we would be truly honored if you would name the other boy baby. 25 00:01:27,624 --> 00:01:29,249 Oh, wow. 26 00:01:29,417 --> 00:01:31,793 - That's so nice. Oh, oh! - Ha, ha. 27 00:01:31,961 --> 00:01:33,003 Cougar. 28 00:01:35,089 --> 00:01:36,340 You think about it. 29 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:32,479 I left a bra drying on the shower rod. 30 00:02:32,730 --> 00:02:35,565 You don't think your son will think it's yours and be traumatized? 31 00:02:35,733 --> 00:02:38,443 Hey, Mommy can have a wife. Daddy can have a bra. 32 00:02:40,989 --> 00:02:42,239 Oh, it's time to go. 33 00:02:42,407 --> 00:02:44,866 Oh, no, no, no. See, that clock's a little fast. 34 00:02:45,034 --> 00:02:48,161 Uh, we still have 17 minutes. 35 00:02:48,329 --> 00:02:51,415 Huh. What can we do in 17 minutes... 36 00:02:51,582 --> 00:02:52,874 twice? 37 00:02:53,835 --> 00:02:56,044 Well, that's ambitious. 38 00:02:57,922 --> 00:03:00,716 - Okay, you can ignore that. - That's Carol with your son. 39 00:03:00,883 --> 00:03:03,051 Uh, believe me, when he's older, he'll understand. 40 00:03:04,470 --> 00:03:07,597 Ross. - I'll be right there. 41 00:03:12,020 --> 00:03:16,148 - Hello. Hello. Hey. - Hi. 42 00:03:16,316 --> 00:03:18,150 Uh, Emily, this is Carol and Susan. 43 00:03:18,318 --> 00:03:21,486 - Hey, it's so nice to finally meet you. - You too. 44 00:03:21,654 --> 00:03:24,448 Susan's gonna be shooting a commercial in London next week. 45 00:03:24,615 --> 00:03:26,199 I'm so excited. I've never been there. 46 00:03:26,367 --> 00:03:28,201 - Oh, well, I'll show you around. Great. 47 00:03:28,369 --> 00:03:31,872 Also, I was hoping to catch a show. So if you can make any suggestions... 48 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:33,874 Oh, there's tons of terrific stuff. 49 00:03:34,459 --> 00:03:36,376 - I'll go with you. - Oh. 50 00:03:36,544 --> 00:03:37,627 Oh, I'm sorry. 51 00:03:38,463 --> 00:03:40,922 Oh. Look at you two bonding. 52 00:03:41,090 --> 00:03:44,384 - Making us late for the airport so... - Are you all right? 53 00:03:44,552 --> 00:03:48,096 Oh, he's fine, he's fine. It's just us getting along is difficult for him... 54 00:03:48,264 --> 00:03:50,766 because he doesn't like me. 55 00:03:50,933 --> 00:03:52,684 Ha, ha. Come on. That's... 56 00:03:52,852 --> 00:03:54,061 It's true. 57 00:03:59,484 --> 00:04:02,152 - Hi. - Hey. Hey, do we have a baby name yet? 58 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:04,571 Ugh, no. It's so hard. 59 00:04:04,739 --> 00:04:07,199 I went through this whole book and found nothing. 60 00:04:07,367 --> 00:04:10,994 I want a name that's really, like, you know, strong and confident. 61 00:04:11,162 --> 00:04:13,080 You know? Like Exxon. 62 00:04:15,249 --> 00:04:17,793 Well, it certainly worked for that Valdez kid. 63 00:04:18,753 --> 00:04:23,006 Oh, oh, Pheebs. You want a strong name? How about The Hulk? 64 00:04:24,217 --> 00:04:25,884 No, I'm not sure about Hulk... 65 00:04:26,052 --> 00:04:28,804 but I like the idea of a name starting with "The." 66 00:04:29,931 --> 00:04:32,641 Well, you want a good name, heh, go with Joey. 67 00:04:32,809 --> 00:04:34,643 Joey's your pal, Joey's your buddy. 68 00:04:34,936 --> 00:04:37,229 Where is everybody? They're hanging out with Joey. 69 00:04:38,815 --> 00:04:40,649 Know what? If you're gonna name him Joey... 70 00:04:40,817 --> 00:04:42,692 you should name him Chandler. 71 00:04:43,569 --> 00:04:47,114 Oh, come on, Chandler's funny, he's sophisticated, and he's very lovable... 72 00:04:47,281 --> 00:04:49,658 once you get to know him. 73 00:04:49,826 --> 00:04:52,160 Hey, Joey's lovable too. 74 00:04:52,328 --> 00:04:55,789 But the thing about Joey is, if you need him, he'll be there. 75 00:04:55,957 --> 00:05:00,210 Chandler will be there for you too. I mean, he might be a little late... 76 00:05:00,378 --> 00:05:03,004 but he'll be there. And he'll bring you some cold soda... 77 00:05:03,172 --> 00:05:06,633 if what you need him for is that you're really hot. 78 00:05:07,677 --> 00:05:09,469 What do you say? What do you say? 79 00:05:09,637 --> 00:05:14,182 Well, I like the idea of naming him after someone I love. 80 00:05:14,350 --> 00:05:17,436 And Joey and Chandler are both great names. 81 00:05:23,192 --> 00:05:24,693 All right, I don't... 82 00:05:24,861 --> 00:05:26,987 Maybe I will just name him The Hulk. 83 00:05:28,614 --> 00:05:32,742 I knew I shouldn't have mentioned it. That's what I wanted to name my kid. 84 00:05:35,580 --> 00:05:38,707 Hey, Mon? If you were hoping to sleep with Joshua for the first time tonight... 85 00:05:38,875 --> 00:05:40,959 which one of these would you want to be wearing? 86 00:05:41,127 --> 00:05:45,088 You know what? It really creeps me out choosing other people's sex clothes. 87 00:05:45,756 --> 00:05:48,717 Sorry. I'm just so excited. 88 00:05:48,885 --> 00:05:51,678 I've been waiting for this for months. I got my hair colored. 89 00:05:51,846 --> 00:05:55,474 I got new sheets. I'm making him a very fancy meal. 90 00:05:55,641 --> 00:05:57,350 What am I making him, by the way? 91 00:05:57,810 --> 00:06:02,189 Well, you're making him a frisée salad with goat cheese and pine nuts... 92 00:06:02,356 --> 00:06:06,193 wild rice, roasted asparagus and salmon en croute. 93 00:06:06,736 --> 00:06:08,570 I thought I was making him filet mignon. 94 00:06:10,031 --> 00:06:13,783 Yeah, you were, but you decided to make salmon because you had some left over. 95 00:06:13,951 --> 00:06:17,162 And then you realized if you bitched about it, then you would stop cooking... 96 00:06:17,330 --> 00:06:21,374 and you would have to make your famous baked potato and Diet Coke. 97 00:06:22,585 --> 00:06:25,170 Wow, I really get crabby when I cook. 98 00:06:27,715 --> 00:06:28,757 - Hey. - Hey. 99 00:06:28,925 --> 00:06:30,175 Hey. 100 00:06:30,343 --> 00:06:32,427 So, uh, Emily called last night. 101 00:06:32,595 --> 00:06:34,471 And now you're giving me the message? 102 00:06:38,726 --> 00:06:42,437 Turns out that Emily is just crazy about Susan. 103 00:06:42,605 --> 00:06:46,274 Yeah. They're going to the theater together. 104 00:06:46,442 --> 00:06:48,777 They're going to dinner. 105 00:06:48,945 --> 00:06:51,196 They're going horseback riding. 106 00:06:52,156 --> 00:06:54,824 God, Susan is so fun. 107 00:06:57,912 --> 00:07:00,830 Look, this is just a little too familiar. 108 00:07:00,998 --> 00:07:04,292 Okay, for, like, six months before Carol and I split up... 109 00:07:04,460 --> 00:07:08,630 all I heard was, "My friend Susan is so smart. 110 00:07:08,798 --> 00:07:12,884 My friend Susan is so funny. My friend Susan is so great." 111 00:07:13,844 --> 00:07:17,138 You actually think that something could happen between Emily and Susan? 112 00:07:17,306 --> 00:07:20,183 Hey, they're going to the gym together. 113 00:07:21,769 --> 00:07:23,186 Two women... 114 00:07:23,354 --> 00:07:24,980 stretching. 115 00:07:25,856 --> 00:07:28,692 You know, they take a steam together, things get a little playful. 116 00:07:28,859 --> 00:07:30,610 Didn't you see Personal Best? 117 00:07:30,778 --> 00:07:32,779 No, but I'm gonna. 118 00:07:35,032 --> 00:07:37,284 Hi. Hi. You're crazy. 119 00:07:37,910 --> 00:07:40,036 Okay, this is Emily. Emily is straight. 120 00:07:40,204 --> 00:07:41,246 How do you know? 121 00:07:41,414 --> 00:07:43,915 I mean, we thought Carol was straight before I married her. 122 00:07:45,042 --> 00:07:48,086 Yeah, definitely. I don't like the name Ross. 123 00:07:51,465 --> 00:07:54,009 What a weird way to kick me when I'm down. 124 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:57,178 No, no, I just meant for the baby. 125 00:07:57,722 --> 00:07:58,972 Oh. 126 00:08:00,224 --> 00:08:02,559 What's wrong with Ross? 127 00:08:02,727 --> 00:08:04,519 It's just, you know, something like this... 128 00:08:04,687 --> 00:08:06,938 would never happen to The Hulk, you know. 129 00:08:09,150 --> 00:08:10,734 Actually, that's not true. 130 00:08:10,901 --> 00:08:15,530 In The Incredible Hulk, number 72, Dr. Bruce Banner found... 131 00:08:17,158 --> 00:08:20,619 You know, never mind. My girlfriend's a lesbian. 132 00:08:23,414 --> 00:08:26,583 So I decided I'm definitely gonna go with either Joey or Chandler. 133 00:08:26,751 --> 00:08:28,335 - Oh. - Oh, oh, oh. 134 00:08:28,502 --> 00:08:30,295 You gotta pick Joey. 135 00:08:30,463 --> 00:08:33,006 I mean, name one famous person named Chandler. 136 00:08:33,424 --> 00:08:36,801 - Raymond Chandler. - Someone you didn't make up. 137 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:41,056 Okay, there are no famous Joeys. Except for, heh... 138 00:08:41,223 --> 00:08:42,641 Joey Buttafuoco. 139 00:08:44,143 --> 00:08:46,686 - Yeah, that guy really hurt us. Yeah. 140 00:08:47,730 --> 00:08:50,231 Well, how about a compromise then? Okay, what if it's... 141 00:08:50,399 --> 00:08:52,984 you know, Chan-no-ey? 142 00:08:53,402 --> 00:08:56,863 Okay, look, Joey? Come on, think about it. He'll never be president. 143 00:08:57,031 --> 00:08:59,491 I mean, there's never gonna be a President Joey. 144 00:09:00,201 --> 00:09:02,327 All right, look, I didn't want to bring this up. 145 00:09:02,495 --> 00:09:06,748 But Chandler is the stupidest name I've heard in my life. 146 00:09:06,916 --> 00:09:09,334 It's not even a name. It's barely even a word. 147 00:09:09,502 --> 00:09:11,878 Okay, it's kind of like chandelier but it's not. 148 00:09:14,090 --> 00:09:18,593 All right? It's a stupid, stupid, non-name. 149 00:09:22,014 --> 00:09:23,306 Wow. 150 00:09:24,100 --> 00:09:27,977 You're right. I have a horrible, horrible name. 151 00:09:31,190 --> 00:09:34,275 I'm sorry, man. I didn't... I'm sorry. 152 00:09:35,277 --> 00:09:37,654 So I guess it's Joey, then. I mean... 153 00:09:45,746 --> 00:09:48,540 This is so nice. Thank you for doing this. 154 00:09:48,708 --> 00:09:51,793 Oh. Please. Cooking soothes me. 155 00:09:56,507 --> 00:09:58,383 - So dig in. - All right. 156 00:09:58,551 --> 00:10:01,594 - Well, it all looks so good. - Mm. 157 00:10:02,304 --> 00:10:03,555 Mm. 158 00:10:04,765 --> 00:10:05,807 Oh, my God. 159 00:10:05,975 --> 00:10:08,309 Oh, I know. My God, this rice is so... 160 00:10:08,477 --> 00:10:10,520 I am so good. 161 00:10:11,355 --> 00:10:12,564 Behind you. 162 00:10:14,024 --> 00:10:17,986 Oh, yeah, sorry. They used to live here, and sometimes they migrate back over. 163 00:10:19,155 --> 00:10:22,991 Is there, uh...? Is there some way that they could, uh, not be here? 164 00:10:23,159 --> 00:10:25,952 It's just that, uh, farm birds really kind of freak me out. 165 00:10:26,996 --> 00:10:30,165 - Yeah. Okay, okay. - Okay, great. 166 00:10:30,332 --> 00:10:32,459 Here we go. Here we go. Whoa. 167 00:10:33,627 --> 00:10:35,712 - Whoa. - Oh, sorry. 168 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,047 There you go. 169 00:10:47,016 --> 00:10:49,517 Hey. How'd you do that? 170 00:10:49,685 --> 00:10:51,019 Come on. 171 00:10:53,105 --> 00:10:54,814 - All gone. - Heh. 172 00:10:54,982 --> 00:10:56,274 So, farm birds, huh? 173 00:10:56,442 --> 00:10:59,694 Yeah, it's my only weird thing, I swear. 174 00:10:59,862 --> 00:11:03,782 And I would have told you about it but I didn't know that they'd be here. 175 00:11:03,949 --> 00:11:08,036 - Oh. - So, uh, ahem. 176 00:11:08,662 --> 00:11:11,331 - Ha, ha. - Okay. 177 00:11:11,499 --> 00:11:13,958 So can I serve you a little... 178 00:11:14,126 --> 00:11:15,418 What, what, what? 179 00:11:15,586 --> 00:11:20,131 Nothing. Uh, it's just that I know that they're still out there. 180 00:11:21,801 --> 00:11:24,969 They're across the hall. I mean, that's two doors away. 181 00:11:25,137 --> 00:11:28,932 It's gonna take them a long time to peck their way back over here. 182 00:11:30,726 --> 00:11:32,685 That's not funny. 183 00:11:33,395 --> 00:11:35,897 - Uh... - Okay, you know... 184 00:11:36,065 --> 00:11:39,526 Would you feel better if we went someplace else? 185 00:11:39,693 --> 00:11:43,571 I mean, we could pack all this stuff up and, you know, go to your apartment. 186 00:11:43,739 --> 00:11:45,865 Oh, they're working on it this week. It's a mess. 187 00:11:46,033 --> 00:11:49,035 But, uh, I'm staying at my parents' house. We could go there. 188 00:11:49,203 --> 00:11:50,829 - Your parents'? - They're out of town. 189 00:11:50,996 --> 00:11:52,705 Oh. 190 00:11:52,873 --> 00:11:56,793 It's a huge place, and it's got this gorgeous view of the park. 191 00:11:56,961 --> 00:11:58,461 It'd be very, very romantic. 192 00:11:58,921 --> 00:12:02,507 - What do you say? - Yeah, that works. 193 00:12:04,802 --> 00:12:06,135 They can smell the fear. 194 00:12:09,348 --> 00:12:10,390 Hey. 195 00:12:10,558 --> 00:12:11,683 How's Ben? 196 00:12:11,851 --> 00:12:15,353 Well, I asked him if he wanted to eat. He said no. 197 00:12:15,521 --> 00:12:17,897 I asked him if he wanted to sleep. He said no. 198 00:12:18,065 --> 00:12:21,025 I asked what he wanted to do. He said no. 199 00:12:21,193 --> 00:12:22,902 So he's sweeping. 200 00:12:23,571 --> 00:12:26,281 Hey, buddy. Hey. 201 00:12:26,448 --> 00:12:29,409 So, um, any word from Susan? 202 00:12:29,577 --> 00:12:32,912 Ooh, yeah, she said she's having so much fun with Emily. 203 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:35,039 Uh-huh, uh-huh. 204 00:12:36,375 --> 00:12:40,086 Uh, by the by, did it ever occur to you that... 205 00:12:40,254 --> 00:12:44,299 I don't know, maybe they might be having a little too much fun? 206 00:12:44,466 --> 00:12:45,758 What's too much fun? 207 00:12:45,926 --> 00:12:49,429 You know, the kind of fun you and Susan had when we were married. 208 00:12:50,681 --> 00:12:52,807 Oh, my God. You are so paranoid. 209 00:12:52,975 --> 00:12:54,601 - Am I? - Yes. 210 00:12:54,768 --> 00:12:56,311 Am I? 211 00:12:56,812 --> 00:12:57,937 I can't speak for Emily... 212 00:12:58,105 --> 00:13:00,732 but Susan is in a loving, committed relationship. 213 00:13:00,900 --> 00:13:03,860 Uh-huh. Carol, so were we. 214 00:13:04,028 --> 00:13:06,821 All right, just imagine for a moment... 215 00:13:07,156 --> 00:13:10,366 that Susan meets someone, and they really hit it off. 216 00:13:10,534 --> 00:13:12,702 Say they're coming back from the theater... 217 00:13:12,870 --> 00:13:15,496 and they stop at a pub for a couple of drinks. 218 00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:17,957 They're laughing, you know. 219 00:13:18,125 --> 00:13:20,501 Someone innocently touches someone else. 220 00:13:21,420 --> 00:13:22,879 There's electricity. 221 00:13:23,047 --> 00:13:25,006 It's new. It's exciting. 222 00:13:25,174 --> 00:13:28,676 Are you telling me there isn't even the slightest possibility... 223 00:13:28,844 --> 00:13:30,720 of something happening? 224 00:13:32,264 --> 00:13:33,806 - Maybe. - Oh, my God. 225 00:13:33,974 --> 00:13:37,018 I didn't really believe it until you just said it. 226 00:13:41,649 --> 00:13:46,361 None of the other kids believed me, I swear to God, that duck pushed me. 227 00:13:47,029 --> 00:13:50,198 Wow. This place is fabulous. 228 00:13:50,366 --> 00:13:53,242 Yeah, let me show you around. This is the downstairs living room. 229 00:13:53,410 --> 00:13:55,244 There's two living rooms? 230 00:13:55,412 --> 00:14:00,166 God, growing up here, this place must have been a real babe magnet. 231 00:14:00,334 --> 00:14:03,670 Yeah, well, it would have been, but, uh, my parents just moved here. 232 00:14:03,837 --> 00:14:07,215 Well, you should know this place is a real babe magnet. 233 00:14:07,591 --> 00:14:09,550 Want to make out? 234 00:14:11,428 --> 00:14:15,556 You know, here's an idea. Why don't I put the food in the fridge... 235 00:14:15,724 --> 00:14:18,267 and we can eat it later? 236 00:14:18,435 --> 00:14:20,395 - That sounds like a plan. - Heh. 237 00:14:20,562 --> 00:14:23,523 Um, is there a place that I could go freshen up? 238 00:14:23,691 --> 00:14:28,152 Oh, yeah. Yeah. Um, just down the hall and, uh, second door to your left. 239 00:14:31,365 --> 00:14:34,325 - Oh, hi, darling. - Mom, Dad, what are you guys doing here? 240 00:14:34,493 --> 00:14:38,413 - Oh, we cut the trip short. - France sucks. 241 00:14:39,623 --> 00:14:43,292 Um, this may be a little weird, but I've got a date here. 242 00:14:43,460 --> 00:14:44,752 Say no more. 243 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:48,047 We'll just grab some food, take it with us upstairs and be out of your hair. 244 00:14:48,215 --> 00:14:51,050 Oh, that'd be great. So you didn't even get to Italy? 245 00:14:51,218 --> 00:14:53,136 Yep. Sucks. 246 00:15:16,577 --> 00:15:18,411 Hi, you. 247 00:15:19,747 --> 00:15:21,789 Oh, my God. 248 00:15:21,957 --> 00:15:25,084 I know. I can do more than cook. 249 00:15:26,628 --> 00:15:27,712 Uh... 250 00:15:32,134 --> 00:15:34,886 I like her. She seems smart. 251 00:15:40,309 --> 00:15:42,727 Rachel, my parents. 252 00:15:42,895 --> 00:15:46,814 So nice to meet you. Hello, hello. 253 00:15:47,441 --> 00:15:52,570 Oh, Joshua, that $500 was for groceries. 254 00:15:54,114 --> 00:15:58,993 What, this? Oh, no. That's not what it is. 255 00:15:59,161 --> 00:16:00,995 Okay, I work in fashion. 256 00:16:01,163 --> 00:16:05,041 See, and this is a real dress, actually. 257 00:16:05,209 --> 00:16:08,294 They're wearing it in Milan. 258 00:16:08,462 --> 00:16:12,840 So part of my job is to wear the clothes and then I see how people respond. 259 00:16:13,008 --> 00:16:17,887 And then I report back to my superiors at Bloomingdale's, so... 260 00:16:18,055 --> 00:16:20,598 And obviously, in this case... 261 00:16:20,766 --> 00:16:23,518 I am going to report back: 262 00:16:23,727 --> 00:16:26,854 "U.S.A. Not ready." 263 00:16:27,648 --> 00:16:29,690 - Maybe in L.A. - Yes. 264 00:16:29,858 --> 00:16:32,944 - There you go. - So have you kids eaten yet? 265 00:16:33,112 --> 00:16:35,655 Well, ahem, we were going to do that after. I mean, um... 266 00:16:37,241 --> 00:16:39,117 - Next. - Well, we're starving. 267 00:16:39,284 --> 00:16:41,911 Why don't we just all go get something to eat? 268 00:16:42,079 --> 00:16:47,959 Yeah, well, ha, ha, no use wasting this baby just lying around the house. 269 00:16:48,877 --> 00:16:51,504 - So we'll go eat. Yeah. 270 00:16:51,672 --> 00:16:53,381 You'll wear that. 271 00:16:53,882 --> 00:16:56,884 We'll be eating and, of course, you'll be wearing that. 272 00:16:59,096 --> 00:17:02,056 Dude, I am sorry about what I said. 273 00:17:02,224 --> 00:17:05,226 Nope, nope, you're right. It is a ridiculous name. 274 00:17:06,103 --> 00:17:08,729 - It's not that bad. - Yes, it is. 275 00:17:09,481 --> 00:17:12,441 From now on, I have no first name. 276 00:17:13,318 --> 00:17:16,571 So you're just Bing? 277 00:17:18,448 --> 00:17:20,408 I have no name. 278 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:23,369 So, what are we supposed to call you? 279 00:17:23,620 --> 00:17:27,123 Okay, uh, for now, temporarily, you can call me... 280 00:17:27,916 --> 00:17:29,292 Clint. 281 00:17:30,586 --> 00:17:33,671 No way are you cool enough to pull off "Clint." 282 00:17:33,839 --> 00:17:36,174 Okay, so, what name am I cool enough to pull off? 283 00:17:36,341 --> 00:17:38,176 Um, Gene. 284 00:17:41,138 --> 00:17:44,348 It's Clint. It's Clint. 285 00:17:44,850 --> 00:17:46,767 - See you later, Gene. Bye, Gene. 286 00:17:48,020 --> 00:17:50,771 It's Clint. Clint! 287 00:17:53,692 --> 00:17:55,484 What's up with Gene? 288 00:17:59,531 --> 00:18:01,908 - You wore your nightie to dinner? - Oh, yeah. 289 00:18:02,075 --> 00:18:05,953 And the best part though, was when the waiter spilled water down my back. 290 00:18:06,121 --> 00:18:08,247 I jumped up and my boob popped out. 291 00:18:08,415 --> 00:18:10,208 - Oh, my God. - Oh, no. 292 00:18:10,375 --> 00:18:12,210 Yeah, it's all right. I got nice boobs. 293 00:18:15,672 --> 00:18:17,924 So I just picked up a message from Emily. 294 00:18:18,383 --> 00:18:21,510 She and Susan are going to a poetry reading together. 295 00:18:21,678 --> 00:18:23,888 - So? - So? 296 00:18:24,056 --> 00:18:25,848 Poetry? 297 00:18:26,016 --> 00:18:28,226 Susan's gay. 298 00:18:28,393 --> 00:18:30,728 They're being gay together. 299 00:18:31,730 --> 00:18:35,233 - Emily's straight. - Oh, wake up. 300 00:18:36,693 --> 00:18:37,860 Wow. 301 00:18:38,028 --> 00:18:40,404 Carol really messed you up. 302 00:18:40,572 --> 00:18:41,989 Excuse me? 303 00:18:42,157 --> 00:18:48,412 She turned you into this untrusting, crazy, jealous sycophant. 304 00:18:51,375 --> 00:18:54,877 All right, so I don't know what "sycophant" means, but the rest is right. 305 00:18:56,004 --> 00:18:59,548 I don't know what you're talking about. I am not a crazy, jealous person. 306 00:19:00,050 --> 00:19:01,092 Huh. 307 00:19:02,511 --> 00:19:04,595 - What? - She's totally right. 308 00:19:04,763 --> 00:19:07,473 When we were together, you got all freaked out about Mark... 309 00:19:07,641 --> 00:19:10,184 and there was nothing going on. - This makes sense. 310 00:19:10,394 --> 00:19:11,852 It does not. 311 00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:14,855 Sure it does. In high school, you weren't jealous at all... 312 00:19:15,023 --> 00:19:17,817 even though all your girlfriends were cheating on you. 313 00:19:19,444 --> 00:19:22,863 All right, so up until '92, '93, he was very trusting. 314 00:19:23,031 --> 00:19:26,659 Then '94 hit, Carol left him, and bam. Paranoid City. 315 00:19:26,827 --> 00:19:28,119 Yeah. 316 00:19:28,287 --> 00:19:29,620 Absolutely, absolutely. 317 00:19:29,788 --> 00:19:30,955 This is so much fun. 318 00:19:31,581 --> 00:19:34,000 This is not fun. 319 00:19:35,294 --> 00:19:37,962 Look, all we're trying to say is... 320 00:19:38,130 --> 00:19:41,757 don't let what happened with Carol ruin what you've got with Emily. 321 00:19:43,969 --> 00:19:45,970 The '92 Ross wouldn't. 322 00:19:51,351 --> 00:19:54,478 I still think I was right about that whole Mark thing, though. 323 00:19:54,980 --> 00:19:58,274 Wha...? Well, you know what? I hope Emily is a lesbian. 324 00:20:04,906 --> 00:20:07,116 Drum roll. 325 00:20:07,451 --> 00:20:08,993 Okay. Okay. 326 00:20:09,244 --> 00:20:10,703 All right. 327 00:20:11,371 --> 00:20:15,583 Help. Am I a Mark or a John? 328 00:20:16,585 --> 00:20:19,420 Ehh, you're not tall enough to be a Mark. 329 00:20:19,921 --> 00:20:22,381 But you might make a good Barney. 330 00:20:24,134 --> 00:20:25,384 All right, look, I am serious. 331 00:20:25,552 --> 00:20:28,012 Tomorrow at 3:30, I'm going to the courthouse. 332 00:20:28,180 --> 00:20:29,847 You're actually going through with this? 333 00:20:30,015 --> 00:20:32,767 Hey, look, this name has been holding me back my entire life. 334 00:20:32,934 --> 00:20:36,771 Okay, it's probably why kids picked on me and why I never do well with women. 335 00:20:36,938 --> 00:20:40,691 So as of 4:00 tomorrow, I'm either gonna be Mark Johnson or John Markson. 336 00:20:42,277 --> 00:20:45,321 You've got problems because of you, not your name. 337 00:20:47,449 --> 00:20:51,160 This has got to stop. Chandler is a great name. 338 00:20:51,328 --> 00:20:52,995 In fact... 339 00:20:54,081 --> 00:20:55,581 Yes. 340 00:20:55,749 --> 00:20:58,959 I'm sorry, I know you really wanted me to name the baby Joey. 341 00:20:59,127 --> 00:21:03,381 But... So I'm gonna name the baby Chandler. 342 00:21:06,343 --> 00:21:07,385 Really? 343 00:21:07,552 --> 00:21:09,595 Yeah, but you have to keep the name too. 344 00:21:09,930 --> 00:21:12,139 - Okay, thanks. Okay. 345 00:21:12,307 --> 00:21:14,266 - You want to hug it out? - Yeah. 346 00:21:15,352 --> 00:21:17,686 - Yay, yay. Oh, yay! Yay. 347 00:21:17,854 --> 00:21:19,939 Okay, I'm gonna go tell Frank and Alice right now. 348 00:21:20,107 --> 00:21:21,315 Okay. 349 00:21:22,401 --> 00:21:24,610 - Bye, Pheebs. - Okay, bye. 350 00:21:25,195 --> 00:21:27,613 - Ha, ha. - Oh. 351 00:21:37,999 --> 00:21:42,128 Flight 004 is now arriving at Gate 17. 352 00:21:45,966 --> 00:21:48,259 - Nice luggage. - I was going to say. 353 00:21:48,844 --> 00:21:51,679 - Hey. - Hi. 354 00:21:52,848 --> 00:21:55,766 - I missed you. - Oh, I missed you too. 355 00:21:55,934 --> 00:21:57,643 Thanks for everything, I had a great time. 356 00:21:57,811 --> 00:21:59,770 Oh, so did I. 357 00:22:01,398 --> 00:22:03,190 No tongue.