HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.
NONE OF THAT, NOT WHILE YOU'RE LIVING UNDER MY ROOF.
WHAT?
LOOK, JUST BECAUSE I KNOW ABOUT YOU TWO
DOESN'T MEAN I LIKE LOOKING AT IT.
AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE AT AN AUDITION FOR ANOTHER HOUR?
WELL, I'M SORRY IF I'M NOT A MIDDLE-AGED, BLACK WOMAN.
AND I'M ALSO SORRY
IF SOMETIMES I GO TO THE WRONG AUDITION.
OKAY, LOOK, IF I HAVE TO PRETEND I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU TWO
THEN YOU TWO ARE GOING TO HAVE TO PRETEND
THERE'S NOTHING TO KNOW ABOUT.
OKAY. SORRY. OKAY.
SORRY.
I CAN HEAR THAT!
RACHEL'S AT WORK.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOU!
HEY.
HELLO. HEY.
HEY. WHAT'S THAT?
MY MOM SENT ME A FAMILY HEIRLOOM
THAT ONCE BELONGED TO MY GRANDMOTHER.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
A YEAR AGO, I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A FAMILY
AND NOW I HAVE HEIRLOOMS, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.
HEE-HEE.
OH! GOD!
AH!
OOH, SOFT.
IS THIS MINK? YEAH.
WHY WOULD MY MOTHER SEND ME A FUR?
DOESN'T SHE KNOW ME, BUT AT ALL?
PLUS, I HAVE A PERFECTLY FINE COAT
THAT NO INNOCENT ANIMAL SUFFERED TO MAKE.
YEAH, JUST SOME 9-YEAR-OLD FILIPINO KIDS
WHO WORKED THEIR FINGERS BLOODY FOR 12 CENTS AN HOUR.
THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN.
I MADE THAT UP.
HEY.
ROSS.
ROSS…
YOU CAN'T PUT UP FLIERS IN HERE.
HOW COME? EVERYBODY ELSE DOES.
YOU CAN'T.
WHAT IS THAT?
OH, UH…
I'M JUST GETTING RID OF A COUPLE OF THINGS.
THIS IS ALL OF YOUR THINGS.
YES. YES, IT IS.
NO, BUT IT'S GOOD.
SEE, EMILY THINKS WE SHOULD GET ALL NEW STUFF.
STUFF THAT'S JUST OURS, TOGETHER.
YOU KNOW, BRAND-NEW.
BASICALLY, THIS IS
A GETTING-RID-OF-ANYTHING- RACHEL-EVER-TOUCHED SALE.
TOUCHED, USED, SAT ON, SLEPT ON…
I'LL TAKE IT ALL.
HEY, ROSS, YOU'RE OKAY WITH THAT?
LOOK, IF I CAN JUST DO WHAT EMILY WANTS
AND GET HER TO NEW YORK, I'M SURE EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE.
BUT DON'T YOU THINK THAT'S A LITTLE EXTREME?
AFTER WHAT I DID, CAN YOU BLAME HER?
YOU GOT OFF EASY. WHEN MY FRIEND, SILVIE'S HUSBAND
SAID SOMEONE ELSE'S NAME IN BED
SHE CURSED HIM AND TURNED HIS THINGIE GREEN.
WHAT IS HE DOING?
EMILY THINKS ROSS'S FURNITURE'S GOT "RACHEL COOTIES"?
ALL RIGHT, CALM DOWN, JOEY.
NO. EVERYTHING'S GETTING ALL MESSED UP, YOU KNOW?
EMILY WON'T LET ROSS SEE RACHEL.
WE'RE NOT GOING TO STOP SEEING RACHEL.
HENCE, ROSS STOPS SEEING US.
OH, I HATE THIS.
EVERYTHING'S CHANGING.
YEAH, I KNOW, WE'RE LOSING ROSS.
JOEY SAID "HENCE."
LOOK, I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS, EITHER
BUT, YOU KNOW, IF ROSS SAYS HE'S HAPPY
THEN WE'LL JUST HAVE TO KEEP OUR FEELINGS
ABOUT EMILY TO OURSELVES.
ARE YOU COOL WITH THAT?
NO.
BUT, YOU KNOW, I'M AN ACTOR.
I'LL ACT COOL.
OOH…
OH, GOD! STORAGE ROOMS GIVE ME THE CREEPS.
MONICA, COME ON, PLEASE, HURRY UP. HONEY, PLEASE.
IF YOU WANT THE LITTLE, ROUND WAFFLES YOU'VE GOT TO WAIT
TILL I FIND THE LITTLE ROUND WAFFLE IRON.
I WANT THE LITTLE, ROUND WAFFLES.
ALL RIGHT.
OH, HERE IT IS.
RIGHT UNDERNEATH A CAN OF BUG BOMB.
I WONDER IF THE BEST PLACE TO PUT SOMETHING THAT COOKS FOOD
IS UNDERNEATH THE CAN OF POISON?
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL HAVE TOAST.
OH, MY GOD!
AH!
FOG HIM! FOG HIM!
FOG HIM!
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS COAT.
I'LL TAKE IT.
THAT MIGHT WORK.
OOH, YEAH.
HUH? ALL RIGHT, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
YOU'RE ON IN FIVE, MS. MINNELLI.
NO, NO, NO. IT'S JUST A BIT SUDDEN.
NO, IT'S GREAT, OKAY?
I AM TOTALLY ON BOARD.
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
ALL RIGHT, BYE.
WHAT'S THE MATTER, ROSS?
NOTHING. NO, NO, UH, ACTUALLY… GREAT NEWS.
I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH EMILY
AND LOOKS LIKE I'M MOVING TO A NEW APARTMENT.
WHOO-HOO!
WHY?
WELL, HER THOUGHT IS, AND I AGREE
FRESH, NEW FURNITURE, WHY NOT A FRESH, NEW APARTMENT?
HER COUSIN HAS THIS GREAT PLACE TO SUBLET.
IT'S GOT A VIEW OF THE RIVER ON ONE SIDE
AND COLUMBIA ON THE OTHER.
THAT'S WAY UPTOWN.
THAT'S LIKE THREE TRAINS AWAY…
WHICH IS GREAT.
I LOVE TO RIDE THAT RAIL.
SO YOU'RE REALLY OKAY WITH THIS?
YES. YES. I MEAN, IT'S KIND OF FAR FROM WORK
BUT, UH, YOU KNOW, I'LL GET SO MUCH DONE ON THE COMMUTE.
I'VE BEEN GIVEN THE GIFT OF TIME.
YOU KNOW, THAT'S SO FUNNY 'CAUSE LAST CHRISTMAS, I GOT THE GIFT OF SPACE.
WE SHOULD GET THEM TOGETHER AND MAKE A CONTINUUM.
NOW HE'S MOVING?
MAN, WHAT IS EMILY DOING TO HIM?
OW!
HE'S NOT EVEN HERE!
YOU GUYS! YOU GUYS!
WE WERE JUST IN THE STORAGE AREA
AND WE SAW THIS REALLY CREEPY MAN.
IT WAS LIKE THIS CRAZY-EYED, HAIRY BEAST-MAN.
HE WAS LIKE A… LIKE A BIGFOOT
OR A YETI OR SOMETHING.
AND HE CAME AT US
WITH AN AX, SO RACHEL
HAD TO USE A BUG BOMB ON HIM.
YEAH, I PULLED THE TAB
AND I JUST FOGGED HIS YETI ASS.
UH, LIKE DARK HAIR, BUSHY BEARD?
YEAH. YEAH, YOU FOGGED DANNY.
OH, PLEASE. WE DID NOT FOG DANNY.
WHO'S DANNY?
DANNY JUST MOVED IN DOWNSTAIRS.
YEAH, HE JUST GOT BACK
FROM THIS FOUR-MONTH TREK IN THE ANDES.
NICE FELLA.
OH, HE'S NICE. HE'S NICE.
YOU KNOW, YOU ALWAYS…
STICK UP FOR THE PEOPLE WE FOG.
YEAH. HI.
YOU MIGHT NOT REMEMBER US
BUT WE ARE THE GIRLS THAT FOGGED YOU.
YEAH. WE'RE… WE'RE
REALLY SORRY WE FOGGED YOU.
YEAH.
OKAY.
HMM.
HI. UH, JUST SO YOU KNOW
WE… WE DIDN'T MEAN TO FOG YOU.
WE ACTUALLY THOUGHT YOU WERE, LIKE, A YETI OR SOMETHING.
OKAY.
YES?
HI. UH, SORRY TO BOTHER YOU
BUT I DON'T THINK THAT WE CAN ACCEPT
YOUR ACCEPTANCE OF OUR APOLOGY.
IT JUST DOESN'T REALLY SEEM LIKE YOU MEAN IT. YEAH.
OKAY.
WOW. THAT GUY IS SO RUDE.
REALLY. WHAT IS WITH THAT GUY?
I MEAN, YOU'D FORGIVE ME IF I FOGGED YOU.
WELL, YOU DID A LITTLE BIT.
OH, MY GOD.
HONEY, I'M SO SORRY.
I TOTALLY FORGIVE YOU.
REALLY? YEAH.
OH…
HEY. HEY.
SO, LISTEN, YOU KNOW MY FRIEND CHRIS
WHO OWNS THE CREMATORIUM?
CREMATORIUM CHRIS? SURE.
WELL, HE SAID THAT HE
WOULD CREMATE MY FUR COAT FOR FREE
IF I, UM, YOU KNOW, BRING IN
THE NEXT PERSON I KNOW WHO DIES.
REALLY?
OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD, LOOK AT THESE PELTS.
DON'T GET TOO ATTACHED. SHE'S HAVING IT CREMATED.
WHAT?
PH-PHOEBE? HONEY?
HONEY, I KNOW YOU'RE QUIRKY AND I GET A BIG KICK OUT OF IT.
WE ALL DO, ACTUALLY.
BUT IF YOU DESTROY A COAT LIKE THIS…
I MEAN, THAT IS LIKE A CRIME AGAINST NATURE.
NO, NOT NATURE. FASHION.
THIS IS FASHION?
OKAY, SO TO YOU, DEATH IS FASHION.
THAT'S REALLY FUNNY.
YEAH. HERE'S… HERE'S PHOEBE
UH, SPORTING, YOU KNOW, A CUTTING-EDGE, HAIRY CARCASS
FROM, YOU KNOW, THE STEEL TRAPS OF WINTRY RUSSIA.
I MEAN, YOU REALLY THINK THIS LOOKS GOOD?
'CAUSE I DO.
YEAH. UH-HUH.
I KNOW. I MISS YOU, TOO.
I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU.
I LOVE YOU. BYE.
OKAY, WHAT IS IN HERE, ROCKS?
OH, NO. THIS IS MY COLLECTION OF, UH, FOSSIL SAMPLES.
SO ROCKS.
I'M REALLY GOING TO MISS THIS APARTMENT.
YOU KNOW, BEN… BEN TOOK HIS FIRST STEPS
RIGHT OVER THERE.
HMM.
HEY, REMEMBER WHEN I RAN INTO THIS THING
AND IT KIND OF KNOCKED ME OUT A LITTLE, HUH?
I LOVE THIS PLACE.
TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I WISH I DIDN'T HAVE TO MOVE.
UH, ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU'RE
NOT ENTIRELY HAPPY ABOUT THIS?
WELL, I MEAN, IF, UH…
IF EMILY GAVE ME A CHOICE…
YOU DO HAVE A CHOICE.
ROSS, WHY ARE YOU LISTENING TO HER?
ARE YOU CRAZY? WHAT?
WELL, IT'S NOT RIGHT, WHAT EMILY WANTS YOU TO DO.
SHE IS TOTALLY… OW!
STOP PINCHING ME.
LOOK, NOW, YOU GUYS SAID I ONLY HAVE TO KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT
AS LONG AS ROSS WAS HAPPY, RIGHT?
WELL, HE JUST TOLD ME
THAT HE'S NOT ENTIRELY HAPPY.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WE ALL HATE EMILY.
NO.
NO. ROSS, WE DO NOT HATE EMILY.
WE JUST… WE JUST THINK
THAT YOU'RE HAVING TO SACRIFICE A WHOLE LOT TO MAKE HER HAPPY.
YEAH.
WE JUST THINK THAT MAYBE SHE'S BEING
A LITTLE… UNREASONABLE.
YES. YES. UNREASONABLE.
UNREASONABLE?
HOW ABOUT WE HAVE THIS CONVERSATION
WHEN ONE OF YOU GUYS GETS MARRIED?
YOU HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK.
IT'S ABOUT COMPROMISE.
DO YOU ALWAYS LIKE IT? NO. DO YOU DO IT? YES.
BECAUSE IT'S NOT ALL LAUGHING, HAPPY, CANDY-IN-THE-SKY
DRINKING-COFFEE-AT-CENTRAL-PERK ALL THE TIME.
IT'S REAL LIFE, OKAY?
IT'S WHAT GROWNUPS DO.
I THINK HE'S RIGHT.
YOU GUYS HANG OUT AT THE COFFEEHOUSE WAY TOO MUCH.
GOD, I FEEL SO GUILTY ABOUT ROSS.
I KNOW.
I KIND OF FEEL LIKE IT'S MY FAULT.
KIND OF?
IF YOU HAD JUST KEPT THIS TO YOURSELF, NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED.
WELL, I'M KEEPING SO MANY THINGS TO MYSELF THESE DAYS
SOMETHING WAS BOUND TO SLIP OUT.
WELL, I THINK IT'S VERY BRAVE WHAT YOU SAID.
OH, YEAH.
ALL RIGHT. I CAN'T SIT HERE ANYMORE.
I HAVE TO WALK PLACES.
PHEEBS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THE COAT?
HOW ABOUT THE WHOLE ANIMAL RIGHTS THING?
WELL, I'VE BEEN READING UP, AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION
MINKS ARE NOT VERY NICE.
OKAY, I ADMIT IT, I LOVE THIS COAT, OKAY.
IT'S THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HAD WRAPPED AROUND ME
INCLUDING PHIL HUNTLEY.
REMEMBER PHIL HUNTLEY? HE WAS FINE.
HI.
SO, YOU LIKE THE SHORT HAIR BETTER?
WHAT?
YETI… DANNY?
HAD TO CUT MY HAIR TO GET RID OF THE, UH… FOGGER SMELL.
OH.
LISTEN, OH, I'M SO SORRY.
I WOULD-I WOULD HAVE NEVER FOGGED YOU
YOU KNOW, IF YOU HADN'T LOOKED SO, YOU KNOW, UH…
ABSOLUTELY.
SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST INTO APPEARANCES.
WHAT?
THAT'S COOL. THAT'S COOL.
WHOA! WHOA! NO!
NO, THAT IS NOT COOL.
YOU-YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME.
COME ON. YOU'VE GOT THE SHOPPING BAGS
AND THE SAKS CATALOGUE.
SO, UH, FROM THAT, YOU THINK
YOU'VE GOT ME ALL FIGURED OUT?
WELL, YOU DON'T.
YOU KNOW, I COULD HAVE TOYS FOR UNDERPRIVILEGED KIDS IN HERE.
DO YOU?
WELL, YOU KNOW, IF KIDS LIKE TO PLAY WITH CAPRI PANTS.
OKAY.
AND STOP SAYING THAT.
I HATE THAT.
OKAY.
FINE. I JUDGED YOU.
I MADE A SNAP JUDGMENT, BUT YOU DID IT, TOO
AND YOU'RE WORSE, BECAUSE YOU ARE STICKING TO YOUR STUPID SNAP JUDGMENT.
YOU CAN'T EVEN OPEN UP YOUR MIND FOR A SECOND
TO SEE THAT YOU MIGHT BE WRONG.
WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT YOU?
THAT PIZZA PLACE ACROSS THE STREET ANY GOOD?
WHAT?
I'M HUNGRY. WANT TO GET SOME PIZZA?
YOU CAN KEEP YELLING IF THERE'S MORE.
OKAY.
STOP SAYING THAT.
I HATE THAT.
UH, ROSS…
ARE YOU STILL MAD AT US? YUP.
OH, GOOD, 'CAUSE WE HAVE AN "I'M SORRY" SONG.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M REALLY NOT IN THE MOOD.
LOOK, ROSS, I FEEL REALLY BAD.
I MEAN, YOU'RE GOING THROUGH ALL THIS STUFF
AND… I JUST ACTED LIKE A JERK.
YEAH, WE ARE SO SORRY.
YOU'RE KIND OF STEPPING ON THE SONG.
LOOK… WE WERE WAY OUT OF LINE, ALL RIGHT?
WE TOTALLY SUPPORT YOU.
WHATEVER YOU DECIDE, WHATEVER YOU DO.
OKAY, NOW YOU'RE JUST TAKING LINES RIGHT OUT OF THE SONG.
LOOK, THIS IS HARD ENOUGH, OKAY.
I REALLY NEED YOU GUYS RIGHT NOW.
YES. EXACTLY.
AND THAT'S WHY…
WHY DON'T YOU COME OVER TONIGHT
AND I'LL MAKE YOU YOUR FAVORITE DINNER?
COME ON.
OKAY.
THANKS, YOU GUYS.
PHEEBS, ARE YOU WEARING FUR?
OKAY, LET'S GET SOME PERSPECTIVE, PEOPLE.
IT'S NOT LIKE I'M WEARING A SEEING-EYE DOG COAT.
HEY, YOU KNOW, ROSS
I, UH… I THINK I KIND OF UNDERSTAND
WHY I KIND OF LOST IT TODAY.
YOU DO, HUH?
YEAH, YOU SEE, I'M AN ACTOR, RIGHT?
SO I GOT TO KEEP MY EMOTIONS RIGHT AT THE SURFACE, YOU KNOW?
I GOT A LOT OF BALLS IN THE AIR, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
IT'S TOUGH. GUYS LIKE ME, YOU KNOW, YOU WANDER AROUND…
YOU'RE ALONE.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I'M NOT SURE.
HI.
HEY, LOOK AT YOU. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
OH, I WENT TO HAVE PIZZA WITH DANNY.
HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? THAT YETI IS ONE SMOOTH TALKER.
I HOPE YOU'RE NOT TOO FULL, 'CAUSE DINNER'S ALMOST READY.
YEAH, YOU KNOW, I THINK
I'M PROBABLY JUST GOING TO HANG OUT IN ROOM.
OH, NO. WHY?
COME ON, YOU GUYS.
IF EMILY KNEW I WAS HERE HAVING DINNER WITH YOU
SHE WOULD FLIP OUT AND YOU KNOW IT.
IT'S OKAY. I REALLY… I DON'T MIND.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST STAY.
PLEASE. IT WOULD REALLY MEAN A LOT FOR ME IF YOU STAY.
ROSS, I JUST…
RACHEL, PLEASE. JUST HAVE DINNER WITH US.
OKAY, OKAY, JOEY, IT'S OKAY. SETTLE DOWN.
ALL RIGHT. I'M SORRY.
I'M SORRY.
YOU SEE, RACH, I'M AN ACTOR.
HEY!
HEY, LOOK, THE UGLY NAKED GUY'S BACK.
OH, MY GOD!
WE HAVEN'T SEEN HIM IN SO LONG.
OH, GOD, I REALLY MISSED THAT FAT BASTARD.
WOW. THIS IS SO WEIRD.
I JUST REALIZED THIS MAY BE THE LAST TIME
WE'RE ALL HANGING OUT TOGETHER.
IT'S ALMOST AS IF HE KNEW.
I'LL GET IT.
HELLO.
HI, EMILY.
YEAH, YOU TRACKED HIM DOWN. HOLD ON ONE SECOND.
HEY.
YEAH, YEAH, WE'RE, UH…
WE'RE JUST HAVING DINNER.
UH, YEAH, SURE. HOLD ON.
SHE WANTS TO SAY HI.
HOLD ON.
HI, EMILY.
HELLO, EVERYONE.
SO, WHO AM I SAYING HELLO TO?
WELL, UH…
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT WHO'S HERE
BUT I CAN TELL YOU FOR DAMN SURE
WHO'S NOT HERE, AND THAT'S RACHEL.
Well, I should hope not.
Ross knows better than that by now.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
RACHEL IS HERE.
She's there?
OH, YEAH, THERE SHE IS.
YEAH, YEAH, SHE'S HERE.
ROSS, TAKE ME OFF SPEAKER PHONE.
HI.
HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?
I THOUGHT I'D MADE MY FEELINGS ABOUT RACHEL PERFECTLY CLEAR.
LOOK, EMILY, I'M JUST HAVING DINNER WITH MY FRIENDS, OKAY?
YOU OBVIOUSLY CAN'T KEEP AWAY FROM HER.
Emily, that's ridiculous.
LOOK, I'M MOVING FOR YOU.
I'M CUTTING FRIENDS OUT OF MY LIFE FOR YOU.
PLEASE, JUST GET ON THE PLANE AND COME TO NEW YORK, OKAY? YOU'LL SEE.
You're the only person I want to be with.
I'LL FEEL BETTER WHEN I'M THERE
AND I CAN KNOW WHERE YOU ARE ALL THE TIME.
WELL, YOU…
YOU CAN'T KNOW WHERE I AM ALL THE TIME.
LOOK, THIS MARRIAGE IS NEVER GOING TO WORK
IF YOU DON'T TRUST ME.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
SO… CAN YOU TRUST ME?
NO.
I THINK IT'S GOING OKAY.
YEAH, LOOKS LIKE HE'S SMILING.
HOW CAN YOU TELL?
YOU CAN ONLY SEE THE BACK OF HIS HEAD.
YOU CAN TOTALLY TELL.
HERE, LOOK, WATCH ME.
SMILE. FROWN. SMILE.
FROWN… SMILE…
WELL, I GUESS THAT'S IT.
WHAT?
WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT HAPPENED?
MY MARRIAGE IS OVER.
SWEETIE…
OH, LOOK AT YOU.
YOU'RE SHIVERING.
HERE.
ROSS, HONEY, IS THERE ANYTHING WE CAN DO?
YEAH.
YOU CAN HELP ME GET MY FURNITURE BACK FROM GUNTHER.
OKAY, STOP TORMENTING ME!
THIS IS MINK, OKAY?
THEY'RE MEAN AND THEY HATE SQUIRRELS.
AND, YOU KNOW, OKAY
MOST OF THESE PROBABLY WANTED TO BE COATS.
ALL RIGHT, FINE. NO, I GET IT.
HERE, YOU TAKE IT.
ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? I'M COLD!