1 00:00:01,208 --> 00:00:02,542 IT WAS SO GOOD. 2 00:00:02,625 --> 00:00:03,960 I THINK YOU KILLED US. 3 00:00:05,545 --> 00:00:07,923 I COULDN'T POSSIBLY EAT ANOTHER BITE. 4 00:00:08,006 --> 00:00:11,593 I NEED SOMETHING SWEET. 5 00:00:11,676 --> 00:00:13,345 DOES ANYONE WANT TO WATCH TV? 6 00:00:13,428 --> 00:00:14,721 YEAH. 7 00:00:16,681 --> 00:00:19,434 MONICA, YOUR REMOTE DOESN'T WORK. 8 00:00:19,517 --> 00:00:22,771 PHOEBE, YOU HAVE TO LIFT IT AND POINT. 9 00:00:22,854 --> 00:00:25,190 OH. 10 00:00:25,273 --> 00:00:27,484 OH, FORGET IT. 11 00:00:27,567 --> 00:00:29,695 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT WE SHOULD ALL DO? 12 00:00:29,778 --> 00:00:31,571 WE SHOULD PLAY THAT GAME WHERE EVERYONE SAYS 13 00:00:31,654 --> 00:00:33,281 ONE THING THAT THEY'RE THANKFUL FOR. 14 00:00:33,364 --> 00:00:35,325 OH, I… I AM THANKFUL 15 00:00:35,408 --> 00:00:38,244 FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL FALL WE'VE BEEN HAVING. 16 00:00:38,327 --> 00:00:40,080 THAT'S SWEET, JOEY. VERY NICE. 17 00:00:40,163 --> 00:00:42,332 YEAH, THE OTHER DAY I WAS AT THE BUS STOP 18 00:00:42,415 --> 00:00:45,127 AND THIS LOVELY FALL BREEZE CAME IN OUT OF NOWHERE 19 00:00:45,210 --> 00:00:47,212 AND BLEW THIS CHICK'S SKIRT RIGHT UP. 20 00:00:48,713 --> 00:00:50,090 OH, WHICH REMINDS ME 21 00:00:50,173 --> 00:00:52,968 I'M ALSO THANKFUL FOR THONGS. 22 00:01:43,310 --> 00:01:45,353 I MEAN, IT'S NOT SO MUCH AN UNDERPANT 23 00:01:45,436 --> 00:01:48,690 AS IT IS A FEAT OF ENGINEERING. 24 00:01:48,773 --> 00:01:50,859 IT'S AMAZING HOW MUCH THEY CAN DO 25 00:01:50,942 --> 00:01:53,237 WITH SO LITTLE MATERIAL. 26 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:54,821 YOU KNOW, AND THE WAY THEY PLAY WITH YOUR MIND. 27 00:01:54,904 --> 00:01:56,865 I MEAN, IS IT THERE? IS IT NOT THERE? 28 00:01:58,366 --> 00:02:02,079 ARE YOU AWARE THAT YOU'RE STILL TALKING? 29 00:02:02,162 --> 00:02:03,830 IS ANYONE THANKFUL FOR ANYTHING ELSE 30 00:02:03,913 --> 00:02:06,041 BESIDES A THONG? 31 00:02:06,124 --> 00:02:07,292 HUH, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO PICK. 32 00:02:07,375 --> 00:02:09,086 AM I MORE THANKFUL FOR MY DIVORCE 33 00:02:09,169 --> 00:02:10,503 OR MY EVICTION? 34 00:02:10,586 --> 00:02:11,922 WOW. SEE, AND I DIDN'T THINK 35 00:02:12,005 --> 00:02:13,965 YOU'D BE ABLE TO COME UP WITH ANYTHING. 36 00:02:16,425 --> 00:02:19,429 I'M SORRY, IT'S JUST THIS IS THE WORST THANKSGIVING EVER. 37 00:02:19,512 --> 00:02:22,057 NO, NO, NO, NO. I AM THE KING OF BAD THANKSGIVINGS. 38 00:02:22,140 --> 00:02:23,976 YOU CAN'T JUST SWOOP IN HERE WITH YOUR BAD MARRIAGE 39 00:02:24,059 --> 00:02:26,270 AND TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME. 40 00:02:26,353 --> 00:02:27,980 NO, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TELL THE WHOLE STORY 41 00:02:28,063 --> 00:02:29,689 ABOUT HOW YOUR PARENTS GOT DIVORCED AGAIN, ARE YOU? 42 00:02:29,772 --> 00:02:30,983 OH, GOD NO. 43 00:02:31,066 --> 00:02:34,194 NO, NO, COME ON, I WANT TO HEAR IT. 44 00:02:36,196 --> 00:02:40,951 IT WOULDN'T BE THANKSGIVING WITHOUT CHANDLER BUMMING US OUT. 45 00:02:41,034 --> 00:02:42,869 IT'S A TRADITION LIKE THE PARADE… 46 00:02:42,952 --> 00:02:45,038 IF THE PARADE DECIDED IT WAS GAY, MOVED OUT 47 00:02:45,121 --> 00:02:47,498 AND ABANDONED ITS ENTIRE FAMILY. 48 00:02:50,210 --> 00:02:52,545 NOW, CHANDLER, DEAR, JUST BECAUSE 49 00:02:52,628 --> 00:02:54,338 YOUR FATHER AND I ARE GETTING A DIVORCE 50 00:02:54,421 --> 00:02:56,716 DOESN'T MEAN WE DON'T LOVE YOU. 51 00:02:56,799 --> 00:02:59,052 IT JUST MEANS HE WOULD RATHER SLEEP 52 00:02:59,135 --> 00:03:02,305 WITH THE HOUSEBOY THAN WITH ME. 53 00:03:04,473 --> 00:03:06,893 MORE TURKEY, MR. CHANDLER? 54 00:03:10,605 --> 00:03:12,356 YOU'RE RIGHT, YOURS IS WORSE. 55 00:03:12,439 --> 00:03:14,901 YOU ARE THE KING OF BAD THANKSGIVINGS. 56 00:03:14,984 --> 00:03:17,487 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT. I'VE GOT ONE THAT'S WORSE. 57 00:03:17,570 --> 00:03:20,907 REALLY? WORSE THAN "MORE TURKEY, MR. CHANDLER?" 58 00:03:22,742 --> 00:03:24,203 OH, DID THE LITTLE RICH BOY 59 00:03:24,286 --> 00:03:25,537 HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE BUTLER? 60 00:03:25,620 --> 00:03:27,163 YES, MINE'S WORSE. 61 00:03:33,211 --> 00:03:36,673 MORE BANDAGES! MORE BANDAGES! 62 00:03:36,756 --> 00:03:40,010 PLEASE, CAN I GET SOME MORE BANDAGES IN HERE? 63 00:03:40,093 --> 00:03:41,844 THIS MAN IS DYING! 64 00:03:46,182 --> 00:03:47,558 OH, NO. 65 00:03:50,895 --> 00:03:54,191 IN THIS LIFE, PHOEBE. 66 00:03:54,274 --> 00:03:55,817 OH, THIS LIFE. OH, OKAY. 67 00:03:55,900 --> 00:03:57,235 NO, CHANDLER'S IS WORSE. 68 00:03:58,861 --> 00:03:59,988 MAN, IT MUST BE SO COOL, 69 00:04:00,071 --> 00:04:01,447 REMEMBERING STUFF LIKE THAT. 70 00:04:01,530 --> 00:04:05,077 I DON'T HAVE ANY PAST LIFE MEMORIES. 71 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:06,203 OF COURSE YOU DON'T, SWEETIE. 72 00:04:06,286 --> 00:04:07,578 YOU'RE BRAND NEW. 73 00:04:09,789 --> 00:04:12,125 I KNOW MONICA'S WORST THANKSGIVING. 74 00:04:12,208 --> 00:04:13,752 LET'S NOT TELL THIS STORY. 75 00:04:13,835 --> 00:04:14,878 OH, COME ON. 76 00:04:14,961 --> 00:04:16,504 OH, NO. I KNOW, I KNOW. 77 00:04:16,587 --> 00:04:17,964 IT'S THE ONE WHERE JOEY 78 00:04:18,047 --> 00:04:21,426 GOT MONICA'S TURKEY STUCK ON HIS HEAD. 79 00:04:21,509 --> 00:04:22,761 WHAT? WHAT? 80 00:04:22,844 --> 00:04:25,638 JOEY GOT A TURKEY STUCK ON HIS HEAD? 81 00:04:25,721 --> 00:04:27,224 HEY, IT'S NOT LIKE IT SOUNDS. 82 00:04:27,307 --> 00:04:29,517 IT'S EXACTLY LIKE IT SOUNDS. 83 00:04:36,524 --> 00:04:37,525 HELLO? 84 00:04:39,861 --> 00:04:44,074 HELLO? 85 00:04:44,157 --> 00:04:45,992 PHOEBE? 86 00:04:46,075 --> 00:04:48,953 JOEY? WHAT'S GOING ON? 87 00:04:51,664 --> 00:04:53,083 OH, MY GOD! 88 00:04:53,166 --> 00:04:54,459 I KNOW. 89 00:04:54,542 --> 00:04:58,088 IT'S STUCK! 90 00:04:58,171 --> 00:05:00,757 STEP. HOW DID IT GET ON? 91 00:05:00,840 --> 00:05:03,802 I PUT IT ON TO SCARE CHANDLER. 92 00:05:03,885 --> 00:05:05,220 OH, MY GOD! 93 00:05:05,303 --> 00:05:07,472 MONICA'S GOING TO TOTALLY FREAK OUT. 94 00:05:07,555 --> 00:05:09,308 WELL, THEN HELP ME GET IT OFF. 95 00:05:09,391 --> 00:05:12,102 PLUS, IT SMELLS REALLY BAD IN HERE. 96 00:05:12,185 --> 00:05:14,187 OF COURSE IT SMELLS REALLY BAD. 97 00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:17,523 YOU HAVE YOUR HEAD UP A DEAD ANIMAL. 98 00:05:17,606 --> 00:05:19,359 OOH, OH. MONICA. 99 00:05:23,071 --> 00:05:25,031 HEY. HEY. 100 00:05:26,741 --> 00:05:27,700 HEY, DID YOU GET THE TURKEY BASTE…? 101 00:05:27,783 --> 00:05:30,620 OH, MY GOD! 102 00:05:30,703 --> 00:05:32,496 WHO IS THAT? 103 00:05:32,579 --> 00:05:35,000 IT'S JOEY. 104 00:05:35,083 --> 00:05:37,627 WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY? 105 00:05:37,710 --> 00:05:39,087 NO, IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY. 106 00:05:39,170 --> 00:05:42,132 IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE SCARY. 107 00:05:42,215 --> 00:05:43,591 WELL, GET THAT OFF NOW. 108 00:05:43,674 --> 00:05:45,635 I CAN'T. IT'S STUCK. 109 00:05:45,718 --> 00:05:48,388 I DON'T CARE. THAT HAS TO FEED 20 PEOPLE AT MY PARENTS' HOUSE 110 00:05:48,471 --> 00:05:50,474 AND THEY'RE NOT GOING TO EAT IT OFF YOUR HEAD! 111 00:05:50,557 --> 00:05:51,808 HOLD ON, OKAY? 112 00:05:51,891 --> 00:05:53,893 LET'S JUST ALL THINK. 113 00:05:59,232 --> 00:06:00,984 OKAY, I GOT IT. 114 00:06:01,067 --> 00:06:03,111 PHOEBE, YOU PULL. 115 00:06:03,194 --> 00:06:06,155 I'M GOING TO SPREAD THE LEGS AS WIDE AS I CAN. 116 00:06:08,491 --> 00:06:09,409 JOEY? YEAH. 117 00:06:09,492 --> 00:06:10,660 NOW IS NOT THE TIME. 118 00:06:10,743 --> 00:06:11,703 SORRY. RIGHT. SORRY. 119 00:06:11,786 --> 00:06:13,163 OKAY, ON THE COUNT OF THREE. 120 00:06:13,246 --> 00:06:16,124 ONE, TWO, THREE. 121 00:06:20,627 --> 00:06:22,130 IT WORKED. I SCARED YOU. 122 00:06:22,213 --> 00:06:25,884 I KNEW IT. HA-HA! 123 00:06:25,967 --> 00:06:26,968 I'M OVER HERE, BIG GUY. 124 00:06:27,051 --> 00:06:29,095 YEAH, YOU ARE. YEAH, HA-HA! 125 00:06:29,178 --> 00:06:31,180 I SCARED YOU. 126 00:06:34,517 --> 00:06:38,230 YOU-YOU DID LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT. 127 00:06:38,313 --> 00:06:40,773 HEY, I WASN'T THE ONLY ONE WHO LOOKED LIKE AN IDIOT, ALL RIGHT? 128 00:06:40,856 --> 00:06:44,110 REMEMBER WHEN ROSS TRIED TO SAY "BUTTERNUT SQUASH" 129 00:06:44,193 --> 00:06:45,987 AND IT CAME OUT… 130 00:06:46,070 --> 00:06:47,654 "SQUATTER NUTBOSH"? 131 00:06:50,074 --> 00:06:52,118 YEAH, THAT'S THE SAME. 132 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:56,039 WELL, THAT'S IT. THAT'S MY WORST THANKSGIVING. 133 00:06:56,122 --> 00:06:59,084 OH, WAIT. THAT CAN'T BE THE ONE THAT RACHEL WAS TALKING ABOUT 134 00:06:59,167 --> 00:07:01,627 'CAUSE SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT THAT HAPPENED. 135 00:07:01,710 --> 00:07:04,464 OH, RIGHT. WHAT WAS IT? 136 00:07:04,547 --> 00:07:06,591 I-I REALLY DON'T WANT TO TELL THIS STORY. 137 00:07:06,674 --> 00:07:09,261 OH, COME ON, MONICA. RELIVING PAST PAIN AND GETTING DEPRESSED 138 00:07:09,344 --> 00:07:12,764 IS WHAT THANKSGIVING'S ALL ABOUT. 139 00:07:12,847 --> 00:07:14,224 YOU KNOW, FOR ME ANYWAY. 140 00:07:14,307 --> 00:07:15,933 AND, OF COURSE, THE INDIANS. 141 00:07:17,393 --> 00:07:18,520 LOOK, UM, OF ALL PEOPLE 142 00:07:18,603 --> 00:07:20,397 YOU DO NOT WANT ME TO TELL THIS STORY. 143 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:22,441 WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? 144 00:07:22,524 --> 00:07:25,610 MONICA! I THINK RACHEL IS HERE. 145 00:07:25,693 --> 00:07:26,819 I'LL GET IT! 146 00:07:33,868 --> 00:07:35,620 HAPPY THANKSGIVING. 147 00:07:35,703 --> 00:07:37,205 NOT FOR ME. 148 00:07:37,288 --> 00:07:40,083 CHIP AND I BROKE UP. 149 00:07:40,166 --> 00:07:42,752 WHY? WHY? WELL, WHAT HAPPENED? 150 00:07:42,835 --> 00:07:44,712 OH, YOU KNOW HOW MY PARENTS ARE OUT OF TOWN 151 00:07:44,795 --> 00:07:46,131 AND CHIP WAS GOING TO COME OVER? 152 00:07:46,214 --> 00:07:47,591 YEAH, YEAH, AND YOU WERE GOING 153 00:07:47,674 --> 00:07:48,800 TO GIVE HIM, YOU KNOW… 154 00:07:48,883 --> 00:07:51,386 YOUR FLOWER. 155 00:07:51,469 --> 00:07:53,597 OKAY, MONICA, CAN YOU JUST CALL IT "SEX"? 156 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:56,849 IT REALLY CREEPS ME OUT WHEN YOU CALL IT THAT. 157 00:07:56,932 --> 00:07:59,311 OKAY, AND BY THE WAY, WHILE WE'RE AT IT 158 00:07:59,394 --> 00:08:02,271 A GUY'S THING IS NOT CALLED HIS "TENDERNESS." 159 00:08:05,107 --> 00:08:06,942 BELIEVE ME. 160 00:08:08,736 --> 00:08:10,780 HI. HI, RACHEL. 161 00:08:10,863 --> 00:08:12,865 HAPPY THANKSGIVING. YOU TOO, SWEETHEART. 162 00:08:12,948 --> 00:08:14,200 HEY. 163 00:08:14,283 --> 00:08:16,703 OH, HI. 164 00:08:19,706 --> 00:08:21,040 UH… EVERYONE 165 00:08:21,123 --> 00:08:24,586 THIS IS CHANDLER, MY ROOMMATE 166 00:08:24,669 --> 00:08:26,754 AND LEAD SINGER OF OUR BAND. 167 00:08:29,257 --> 00:08:30,675 ROSS. 168 00:08:30,758 --> 00:08:32,677 OH, THIS IS MONICA. 169 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:35,221 HI, I'M ROSS'S LITTLE SISTER. 170 00:08:35,304 --> 00:08:38,224 OKAY. 171 00:08:39,726 --> 00:08:41,811 I'M SO GLAD YOU COULD COME, CHANDLER. 172 00:08:41,894 --> 00:08:44,189 WE GOT PLENTY OF FOOD, SO I HOPE YOU'RE HUNGRY. 173 00:08:44,272 --> 00:08:46,274 OH, MOM, CHANDLER HATES THANKSGIVING 174 00:08:46,357 --> 00:08:48,568 AND DOESN'T EAT ANY THANKSGIVING FOOD. 175 00:08:48,651 --> 00:08:53,156 OH. OH, I'M SO GLAD YOU BROUGHT HIM HERE, THEN. 176 00:08:53,239 --> 00:08:55,908 HEY, CHANDLER, UM… IF YOU WANT, I CAN MAKE YOU 177 00:08:55,991 --> 00:08:57,869 SOME MACARONI AND CHEESE FOR DINNER. 178 00:08:57,952 --> 00:09:00,121 WELL, AS LONG AS THE PILGRIMS DIDN'T EAT IT, THEN I'M IN. 179 00:09:04,250 --> 00:09:05,251 DAMN IT. 180 00:09:13,551 --> 00:09:15,720 SO, UH…, RACHE 181 00:09:15,803 --> 00:09:18,848 DOES IT, DOES IT FEEL WEIRD AROUND HERE NOW? 182 00:09:18,931 --> 00:09:22,018 YOU KNOW, SINCE I'VE BEEN AWAY AT COLLEGE? 183 00:09:22,101 --> 00:09:24,520 OH. NO, NOT REALLY. 184 00:09:25,605 --> 00:09:27,815 WELL, THAT'S COOL. 185 00:09:27,898 --> 00:09:28,898 SO DO…? 186 00:09:33,237 --> 00:09:34,197 OH! 187 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:36,741 I CANNOT BELIEVE CHIP DUMPED ME 188 00:09:36,824 --> 00:09:39,327 FOR THAT SLUT NANCY BRANSON. 189 00:09:39,410 --> 00:09:40,786 I AM NEVER GOING OUT WITH HIM AGAIN, YOU KNOW. 190 00:09:40,869 --> 00:09:43,789 I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH HE BEGS. 191 00:09:43,872 --> 00:09:45,291 I THINK HIS BEGGING DAYS ARE OVER 192 00:09:45,374 --> 00:09:47,084 NOW HE'S GOING OUT WITH NANCY BRANSON. 193 00:09:49,253 --> 00:09:51,923 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'VE JUST HAD IT WITH HIGH SCHOOL BOYS. 194 00:09:52,006 --> 00:09:53,717 THEY'RE JUST… SILLY. 195 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:57,053 THEY'RE JUST SILLY, STUPID BOYS. 196 00:09:57,136 --> 00:09:58,638 I'M GOING TO START DATING MEN. 197 00:09:59,930 --> 00:10:02,100 UH, I'M SORRY, JUDY. 198 00:10:02,183 --> 00:10:05,978 I COULDN'T FIND THAT BOWL YOU AND JACK WERE LOOKING FOR. 199 00:10:07,855 --> 00:10:10,858 CALL THEM "MOM AND DAD," YOU LOSER. 200 00:10:13,068 --> 00:10:14,068 MONICA! 201 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:20,451 HEY, CHANDLER… 202 00:10:24,872 --> 00:10:26,416 DID YOU LIKE THE MACARONI AND CHEESE? 203 00:10:26,499 --> 00:10:29,335 OH, YEAH. IT WAS GREAT. YOU SHOULD BE A CHEF. 204 00:10:29,418 --> 00:10:31,379 OKAY. 205 00:10:34,757 --> 00:10:36,926 GUESS WHAT? ALL THIS STUFF 206 00:10:37,009 --> 00:10:39,512 ABOUT NANCY BRANSON BEING A SLUT WAS ALL A RUMOR, 207 00:10:39,595 --> 00:10:41,055 SO CHIP DUMPED HER 208 00:10:41,138 --> 00:10:43,057 AND HE WANTS TO COME OVER TO MY HOUSE TONIGHT. 209 00:10:43,140 --> 00:10:45,644 OH, THAT IS SO GREAT! 210 00:10:45,727 --> 00:10:46,978 OH, GOSH, LISTEN. 211 00:10:47,061 --> 00:10:49,188 IF YOU AND CHIP DO IT TONIGHT 212 00:10:49,271 --> 00:10:51,566 PROMISE ME YOU'LL TELL ME EVERYTHING. 213 00:10:51,649 --> 00:10:53,943 OH, TOTALLY, TOTALLY. YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT THAT BIG A DEAL. 214 00:10:54,026 --> 00:10:55,654 WE ALREADY KIND OF DID IT ONCE, YOU KNOW. 215 00:10:55,737 --> 00:10:57,405 I KNOW, BUT THIS TIME YOU'RE GOING 216 00:10:57,488 --> 00:10:59,157 TO DEFINITELY KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOU DID IT. 217 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:01,993 I KNOW. OH, AND CHIP PROMISED 218 00:11:02,076 --> 00:11:03,453 THAT-THAT THIS TIME IT WOULD LAST 219 00:11:03,536 --> 00:11:05,788 AT LEAST FOR AN ENTIRE SONG. 220 00:11:08,123 --> 00:11:10,710 SO I'M THINKING OF ASKING RACHEL OUT TONIGHT. 221 00:11:10,793 --> 00:11:12,128 YOU KNOW, MAYBE PLAYING HER THAT SONG 222 00:11:12,211 --> 00:11:13,421 WE WROTE LAST WEEK. 223 00:11:13,504 --> 00:11:14,506 "EMOTIONAL KNAPSACK"? YEAH. 224 00:11:14,589 --> 00:11:17,175 RIGHT ON. 225 00:11:17,258 --> 00:11:19,260 OH, BUT DON'T TAKE TOO LONG, OKAY? 226 00:11:19,343 --> 00:11:20,804 BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, WE'RE GOING TO TEST OUT 227 00:11:20,887 --> 00:11:23,972 OUR FAKE I.D.s TONIGHT, RIGHT, CLIFFORD ALVEREZ? 228 00:11:25,641 --> 00:11:29,395 LISTEN, ROWLAND CHENG… 229 00:11:29,478 --> 00:11:32,565 IF THINGS GO WELL, I MAY BE OUT WITH HER ALL NIGHT. 230 00:11:32,648 --> 00:11:34,984 DUDE, DON'T DO THAT TO ME. 231 00:11:35,067 --> 00:11:37,654 NO, IT'S COOL. YOU CAN STAY HERE. MY PARENTS WON'T MIND. 232 00:11:37,737 --> 00:11:39,531 NO, IT'S NOT THAT. I JUST DON'T WANT TO BE STUCK HERE 233 00:11:39,614 --> 00:11:40,740 ALL NIGHT WITH YOUR FAT SISTER. 234 00:11:40,823 --> 00:11:41,824 HEY. 235 00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:47,747 MONICA, WHY DON'T YOU FINISH OFF THESE PIES? 236 00:11:47,830 --> 00:11:50,374 I DON'T HAVE ANY MORE ROOM IN THE FRIDGE. 237 00:11:52,418 --> 00:11:54,170 NO. 238 00:11:54,253 --> 00:11:56,422 NO, THANK YOU. 239 00:11:56,505 --> 00:11:57,841 WELL, JUDY, YOU DID IT. 240 00:11:57,924 --> 00:11:59,842 SHE'S FINALLY FULL. 241 00:12:04,597 --> 00:12:06,265 I CALLED YOU FAT? 242 00:12:06,348 --> 00:12:07,559 I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER THAT. 243 00:12:07,642 --> 00:12:08,768 WELL, I DO. 244 00:12:08,851 --> 00:12:11,270 I'M SO SORRY. I REALLY AM. 245 00:12:11,353 --> 00:12:12,896 BUT, COME ON, I WAS AN IDIOT BACK THEN. 246 00:12:12,979 --> 00:12:14,816 I RUSHED THE STAGE AT A WHAM! CONCERT, 247 00:12:14,899 --> 00:12:17,777 FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. 248 00:12:17,860 --> 00:12:19,821 OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU CALLED HER FAT. 249 00:12:19,904 --> 00:12:23,324 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LET GEORGE MICHAEL SLAP YOU. 250 00:12:24,784 --> 00:12:26,035 I AM REALLY SORRY. 251 00:12:26,118 --> 00:12:27,245 THAT IS SO TERRIBLE. 252 00:12:27,328 --> 00:12:29,497 I'M SO, SO SORRY. 253 00:12:29,580 --> 00:12:32,417 ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW, THAT'S NOT THE THANKSGIVING I WAS TALKING ABOUT. 254 00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:35,294 YES, IT WAS. NO, IT WASN'T. IT WAS ACTUALLY… 255 00:12:35,377 --> 00:12:36,755 THANKSGIVING'S OVER. LET'S GET READY FOR CHRISTMAS. 256 00:12:36,838 --> 00:12:39,923 WHO WANTS TO GO GET A CHRISTMAS TREE? 257 00:12:40,006 --> 00:12:43,302 OOH, NO. I HAVE THE CUTEST CHRISTMAS STORY. 258 00:12:43,385 --> 00:12:45,346 BUT WE WANT TO HEAR MONICA'S THANKSGIVING STORY. 259 00:12:45,429 --> 00:12:47,014 FINE. ALL RIGHT. MINE HAD A DWARF 260 00:12:47,097 --> 00:12:49,475 THAT GOT BROKE IN HALF BUT, YOU KNOW, WHATEVER. 261 00:12:51,477 --> 00:12:54,689 SO, RACHEL, YOUR MOM TELLS ME YOU CHANGED YOUR MAJOR AGAIN. 262 00:12:54,772 --> 00:12:57,066 WELL, YEAH, I HAD TO. THERE WAS NEVER ANY PARKING 263 00:12:57,149 --> 00:13:00,111 BY THE PSYCHOLOGY BUILDING. 264 00:13:00,194 --> 00:13:01,780 HI, RACHEL. OH, HI. 265 00:13:01,863 --> 00:13:03,989 WOW, LOVE YOUR NEW NOSE. 266 00:13:04,072 --> 00:13:05,324 JACK… 267 00:13:05,407 --> 00:13:07,619 WHAT? DR. WILSON'S AN ARTIST. 268 00:13:07,702 --> 00:13:09,287 HE REMOVED MY MOLE CLUSTER. 269 00:13:09,370 --> 00:13:10,830 WANT TO SEE? 270 00:13:10,913 --> 00:13:12,123 I'LL GET IT. 271 00:13:12,206 --> 00:13:14,500 NO, GOD. PLEASE LET ME. 272 00:13:17,628 --> 00:13:19,505 HEY. HEY. 273 00:13:22,925 --> 00:13:25,804 HAPPY THANKSGIVING. HI. 274 00:13:25,887 --> 00:13:27,764 GOD, YOUR HAIR SURE IS DIFFERENT. 275 00:13:27,847 --> 00:13:29,557 YEAH, WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT THAT. 276 00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:31,225 I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW STUPID WE USED TO LOOK. 277 00:13:31,308 --> 00:13:32,308 YEAH. 278 00:13:35,855 --> 00:13:37,482 SO, UH, WHERE'S MONICA? 279 00:13:37,565 --> 00:13:38,691 SHE'S UPSTAIRS. 280 00:13:38,774 --> 00:13:40,276 MONICA, COME DOWN. 281 00:13:40,359 --> 00:13:42,821 EVERYONE'S HERE… ROSS, RACHEL 282 00:13:42,904 --> 00:13:44,906 AND THE BOY WHO HATES THANKSGIVING. 283 00:13:48,576 --> 00:13:50,829 HI, CHANDLER. 284 00:13:50,912 --> 00:13:52,996 OH, MY GOD. 285 00:13:53,079 --> 00:13:54,833 W-W-WHAT'S THE MATTER? IS THERE… 286 00:13:54,916 --> 00:13:58,711 IS THERE SOMETHING ON MY DRESS? 287 00:13:58,794 --> 00:14:02,173 YOU LOOK SO DIFFERENT, TERRIFIC. 288 00:14:02,256 --> 00:14:03,842 THAT DRESS, THAT BODY. 289 00:14:03,925 --> 00:14:05,426 DUDE. SORRY. 290 00:14:06,761 --> 00:14:08,095 YES, YES. MONICA IS THIN. 291 00:14:08,178 --> 00:14:09,430 IT'S WONDERFUL, 292 00:14:09,513 --> 00:14:11,098 BUT WHAT WE REALLY WANT TO HEAR ABOUT 293 00:14:11,181 --> 00:14:12,851 IS ROSS'S NEW GIRLFRIEND. 294 00:14:12,934 --> 00:14:14,435 OH, MOM. 295 00:14:14,518 --> 00:14:17,730 OKAY. UM, HER NAME IS CAROL 296 00:14:17,813 --> 00:14:19,816 AND SHE'S REALLY PRETTY AND SMART 297 00:14:19,899 --> 00:14:22,318 AND, UH, SHE'S… SHE'S ON THE LACROSSE TEAM 298 00:14:22,401 --> 00:14:24,988 AND THE GOLF TEAM, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? 299 00:14:25,071 --> 00:14:27,197 SHE PLAYS FOR BOTH TEAMS. 300 00:14:29,742 --> 00:14:31,953 SO, CHANDLER, I GUESS I'LL SEE YOU AT DINNER. 301 00:14:34,121 --> 00:14:35,456 DUDE. SORRY. 302 00:14:37,458 --> 00:14:40,461 OH, MY GOD. THAT WAS SO AWESOME. 303 00:14:40,544 --> 00:14:42,922 YOU TOTALLY GOT HIM BACK FOR CALLING YOU FAT. 304 00:14:43,005 --> 00:14:44,716 HE WAS JUST DROOLING ALL OVER YOU. 305 00:14:44,799 --> 00:14:46,425 THAT MUST HAVE FELT SO GREAT. 306 00:14:46,508 --> 00:14:47,510 WELL, IT DIDN'T. 307 00:14:47,593 --> 00:14:48,594 WHAT? 308 00:14:48,677 --> 00:14:51,556 YEAH. I MEAN, YEAH, I LOOK GREAT 309 00:14:51,639 --> 00:14:53,224 AND, YEAH, I FEEL GREAT, AND, YEAH, MY HEART'S 310 00:14:53,307 --> 00:14:57,061 NOT IN TROUBLE ANYMORE, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. 311 00:14:57,144 --> 00:14:59,647 I JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE I GOT HIM BACK, YOU KNOW? 312 00:14:59,730 --> 00:15:01,941 I JUST WANT TO HUMILIATE HIM. I WANT TO… 313 00:15:02,024 --> 00:15:04,360 I WANT HIM TO BE LIKE NAKED AND I WANT TO POINT AT HIM 314 00:15:04,443 --> 00:15:06,779 AND I WANT TO LAUGH. 315 00:15:06,862 --> 00:15:08,072 OKAY. 316 00:15:08,155 --> 00:15:11,826 THAT WE MAY BE ABLE TO DO. 317 00:15:11,909 --> 00:15:12,994 HOW? 318 00:15:13,077 --> 00:15:14,829 WELL, GUYS TEND TO GET NAKED 319 00:15:14,912 --> 00:15:16,915 BEFORE THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE SEX. 320 00:15:16,998 --> 00:15:18,833 WHAT? 321 00:15:18,916 --> 00:15:20,877 I DIDN'T WORK THIS HARD A-A-AND LOSE ALL THIS WEIGHT 322 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:24,296 JUST SO I COULD GIVE MY FLOWER TO SOMEONE LIKE HIM. 323 00:15:24,379 --> 00:15:26,632 OKAY, FIRST OF ALL, IF YOU KEEP CALLING IT THAT 324 00:15:26,715 --> 00:15:28,384 NO ONE'S EVER GOING TO TAKE IT. 325 00:15:28,467 --> 00:15:30,762 AND THEN, SECOND OF ALL 326 00:15:30,845 --> 00:15:32,346 YOU'RE NOT GOING TO ACTUALLY HAVE SEX WITH HIM. 327 00:15:32,429 --> 00:15:33,556 YOU'RE JUST GOING TO MAKE HIM THINK 328 00:15:33,639 --> 00:15:35,850 THAT YOU ARE. 329 00:15:35,933 --> 00:15:37,769 YEAH. 330 00:15:37,852 --> 00:15:40,021 AND THEN WHEN HE'S NAKED, I CAN THROW HIM OUT IN THE FRONT YARD 331 00:15:40,104 --> 00:15:42,023 AND LOCK THE DOOR, AND THEN ALL OUR NEIGHBORS 332 00:15:42,106 --> 00:15:43,942 WILL JUST HUMILIATE HIM. 333 00:15:44,025 --> 00:15:46,527 YEAH, AND THEN YOU WILL DEFINITELY GET HIM BACK. 334 00:15:46,610 --> 00:15:48,863 HOW DO I MAKE HIM THINK I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM? 335 00:15:48,946 --> 00:15:51,074 UH, HERE'S WHAT YOU DO. 336 00:15:51,157 --> 00:15:55,786 JUST ACT LIKE EVERYTHING AROUND YOU TURNS YOU ON. 337 00:15:58,288 --> 00:16:00,917 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WELL, LIKE ANYTHING CAN BE SEXY, 338 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,209 LIKE, UM… 339 00:16:02,292 --> 00:16:04,879 OH! OKAY, LIKE THIS… LIKE THIS DISHTOWEL. 340 00:16:04,962 --> 00:16:08,466 OOH… OOH… 341 00:16:08,549 --> 00:16:11,886 THIS FEELS SO GOOD AGAINST MY CHEEK. 342 00:16:11,969 --> 00:16:16,682 AND IF I GET A LITTLE HOT, I CAN JUST DAB MYSELF WITH IT. 343 00:16:16,765 --> 00:16:18,643 OR I CAN BRING IT DOWN TO MY SIDE 344 00:16:18,726 --> 00:16:20,311 AND MAYBE RUN IT THROUGH MY FINGERS 345 00:16:20,394 --> 00:16:22,021 WHILE I TALK TO HIM. 346 00:16:22,104 --> 00:16:23,397 I CAN DO THAT. 347 00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:25,108 YEAH? OKAY, GOOD, GOOD. 348 00:16:25,191 --> 00:16:27,819 HE'S COMING. HE'S COMING. 349 00:16:27,902 --> 00:16:29,695 HEY, WHAT'S UP? HEY. 350 00:16:31,572 --> 00:16:33,032 MONICA, I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD MAKE ME 351 00:16:33,115 --> 00:16:34,575 SOME OF THAT RIGHTEOUS MAC 'N' CHEESE 352 00:16:34,658 --> 00:16:36,285 LIKE LAST YEAR. 353 00:16:36,368 --> 00:16:38,037 UH, I'D LOVE TO. 354 00:16:43,959 --> 00:16:47,713 OOH… I LOVE MACARONI AND CHEESE. 355 00:16:50,049 --> 00:16:51,759 I LOVE… I LOVE THE WAY THIS BOX FEELS 356 00:16:51,842 --> 00:16:53,510 AGAINST MY CHEEK. 357 00:16:59,725 --> 00:17:00,643 OKAY. 358 00:17:00,726 --> 00:17:02,394 OH, AND I LOVE CARROTS. 359 00:17:02,477 --> 00:17:04,188 OH… 360 00:17:06,481 --> 00:17:09,401 SOMETIMES I LIKE TO PUT THEM BETWEEN MY FINGERS… 361 00:17:11,612 --> 00:17:14,198 LIKE THIS, AND… AND… AND HOLD THEM DOWN HERE 362 00:17:14,281 --> 00:17:16,242 WHILE I TALK TO YOU. 363 00:17:20,746 --> 00:17:23,248 UM, AN-AN-AND YOU KNOW, IF I GET REALLY HOT? 364 00:17:23,331 --> 00:17:26,210 UM, I-I LIKE TO… 365 00:17:26,293 --> 00:17:27,336 PICK UP THIS KNIFE 366 00:17:27,419 --> 00:17:29,296 AND… AND, UM, 367 00:17:29,379 --> 00:17:32,967 I PUT THE… THE COOL STEEL 368 00:17:33,050 --> 00:17:35,386 AGAINST, UM… 369 00:17:35,469 --> 00:17:37,263 MY BODY. 370 00:17:38,764 --> 00:17:40,307 ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 371 00:17:40,390 --> 00:17:42,684 OH, YEAH, YEAH. I'M FINE. IT'S… 372 00:17:57,992 --> 00:17:59,702 WHAT HAVE WE GOT HERE? 20-YEAR-OLD MALE. 373 00:17:59,785 --> 00:18:02,329 HE'S GOT A SEVERED TOE ON HIS RIGHT FOOT. 374 00:18:02,412 --> 00:18:04,707 OW! OW! 375 00:18:04,790 --> 00:18:07,043 COULD YOU PLEASE NOT DO THAT FEET-FIRST? 376 00:18:07,126 --> 00:18:08,836 YOU KNOW WHERE HIS INJURY IS. 377 00:18:08,919 --> 00:18:10,629 SEVERED TOE. YOU JUST SAID IT! 378 00:18:12,464 --> 00:18:14,633 SAYS HERE THE KNIFE WENT RIGHT THROUGH YOUR SHOE. 379 00:18:14,716 --> 00:18:17,678 OF COURSE IT DID. THEY'RE MADE OF WICKER. 380 00:18:17,761 --> 00:18:19,013 DID YOU BRING THE TOE? 381 00:18:19,096 --> 00:18:22,516 OH, YES. I HAVE IT RIGHT HERE ON ICE. 382 00:18:22,599 --> 00:18:25,686 DON'T WORRY, SON, WE'LL JUST REATTACH IT AND THEN… 383 00:18:25,769 --> 00:18:27,188 WHAT? WHAT IS IT? 384 00:18:27,271 --> 00:18:29,064 YOU BROUGHT A CARROT. 385 00:18:30,649 --> 00:18:31,943 WHAT? 386 00:18:32,026 --> 00:18:33,736 THIS ISN'T YOUR TOE. THIS IS A SMALL, 387 00:18:33,819 --> 00:18:36,239 VERY COLD PIECE OF CARROT. 388 00:18:36,322 --> 00:18:38,323 YOU BROUGHT A CARROT? 389 00:18:38,406 --> 00:18:40,409 OH, MY GOD. 390 00:18:40,492 --> 00:18:42,786 THERE'S A TOE IN MY KITCHEN. 391 00:18:44,746 --> 00:18:46,540 GOD, I'M SORRY! I'LL GO BACK AND GET IT! 392 00:18:46,623 --> 00:18:48,709 IT'S TOO LATE. ALL WE CAN DO NOW IS SEW UP THE WOUND. 393 00:18:48,792 --> 00:18:51,170 WITHOUT MY TOE? I NEED MY TOE. 394 00:18:51,253 --> 00:18:53,172 WHAT? NO, NO. I CAN GO REALLY FAST. 395 00:18:53,255 --> 00:18:54,590 DAD, GIVE ME THE KEYS TO YOUR PORSCHE. 396 00:18:54,673 --> 00:18:58,510 OH, I'M NOT FALLING FOR THAT ONE. 397 00:18:58,593 --> 00:19:00,221 THAT'S WHY I LOST MY TOE? 398 00:19:00,304 --> 00:19:01,722 BECAUSE I CALLED YOU FAT? 399 00:19:03,807 --> 00:19:06,477 I DIDN'T MEAN TO CUT IT OFF. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. 400 00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:07,937 THAT'S WHY, FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR 401 00:19:08,020 --> 00:19:11,315 PEOPLE CALLED ME SIR LIMPS-A-LOT? 402 00:19:11,398 --> 00:19:13,776 I'M SORRY. 403 00:19:13,859 --> 00:19:15,486 IT WASN'T YOUR WHOLE TOE. 404 00:19:15,569 --> 00:19:17,822 YEAH, WELL, I MISS THE TIP. 405 00:19:17,905 --> 00:19:20,532 IT'S THE BEST PART. 406 00:19:20,615 --> 00:19:21,992 IT HAS THE NAIL. 407 00:19:24,203 --> 00:19:25,371 CHANDLER… 408 00:19:27,497 --> 00:19:31,377 SIR LIMPS-A-LOT… I CAME UP WITH THAT. 409 00:19:33,295 --> 00:19:35,840 YOU'RE A DORK. 410 00:19:35,923 --> 00:19:37,842 I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. 411 00:19:37,925 --> 00:19:39,260 CHANDLER, I SAID I WAS SORRY. 412 00:19:39,343 --> 00:19:40,803 YEAH? WELL, SORRY DOESN'T BRING BACK 413 00:19:40,886 --> 00:19:43,055 THE LITTLE PIGGY THAT CRIED ALL THE WAY HOME. 414 00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:48,686 I HATE THIS STUPID DAY AND EVERYTHING ABOUT IT. 415 00:19:48,769 --> 00:19:50,813 I'LL SEE YOU LATER. OH, WAIT, CHANDLER. 416 00:19:50,896 --> 00:19:54,275 COME HERE. IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO? 417 00:19:54,358 --> 00:19:55,818 ANYTHING? 418 00:19:55,901 --> 00:19:58,570 YEAH, JUST… LEAVE ME ALONE FOR A LITTLE WHILE. 419 00:20:05,327 --> 00:20:07,288 OH, OH, I'M A DUCK. I GO, "QUACK, QUACK." 420 00:20:07,371 --> 00:20:09,164 I'M HAPPY ALL THE TIME. 421 00:20:20,259 --> 00:20:21,760 NICE TRY. 422 00:20:21,843 --> 00:20:23,178 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 423 00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:27,975 LOOK, MONICA… 424 00:20:32,313 --> 00:20:33,898 THIS IS NOT GOING TO WORK. 425 00:20:33,981 --> 00:20:35,274 I BET THIS WILL WORK. 426 00:20:44,158 --> 00:20:47,411 YOU ARE SO GREAT. I LOVE YOU. 427 00:20:56,211 --> 00:20:58,047 WHAT? 428 00:20:58,130 --> 00:20:59,798 NOTHING. I SAID… I SAID, "YOU'RE SO GREAT," 429 00:20:59,881 --> 00:21:02,092 AND THEN I JUST… I JUST STOPPED TALKING. 430 00:21:04,178 --> 00:21:06,013 YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. 431 00:21:06,096 --> 00:21:08,974 NO, I DIDN'T. 432 00:21:09,057 --> 00:21:10,184 YES, YOU DID. 433 00:21:10,267 --> 00:21:11,602 NO, I DIDN'T. 434 00:21:11,685 --> 00:21:14,021 YOU LOVE ME. 435 00:21:14,104 --> 00:21:15,356 NO, I DON'T! 436 00:21:15,439 --> 00:21:17,691 STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! 437 00:21:30,537 --> 00:21:32,873 GAUZE! GAUZE! 438 00:21:32,956 --> 00:21:35,709 I NEED TO GET SOME GAUZE IN HERE! 439 00:21:35,792 --> 00:21:38,170 CAN I PLEASE GET SOME MORE GAUZE? 440 00:21:41,798 --> 00:21:43,008 PHEW! 441 00:21:49,390 --> 00:21:52,601 THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS, HUH? 442 00:21:52,684 --> 00:21:54,228 OKAY. ALORS.