1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,086
WHO WOULD YOU
RATHER HAVE KISS
HER? ME OR CHANDLER?

2
00:00:03,169 --> 00:00:04,462
THAT'S A GOOD POINT.
YEAH.

3
00:00:04,545 --> 00:00:06,715
UH, WELL SINCE I HAVE
THAT WHOLE HISTORY

4
00:00:06,798 --> 00:00:08,258
WITH RACHEL,
I GUESS PHOEBE.

5
00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:09,467
OKAY. GREAT.

6
00:00:09,550 --> 00:00:11,135
PHEEBS! PHEEBS!
LISTEN…

7
00:00:11,218 --> 00:00:13,430
ROSS WANTS TO KISS YOU
AT MIDNIGHT.

8
00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:14,514
IT'S SO OBVIOUS.

9
00:00:14,597 --> 00:00:16,182
WHY DOESN'T HE JUST ASK?

10
00:00:16,265 --> 00:00:17,851
RACHE… RACHE, LISTEN.

11
00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:19,352
I'M GOING TO KISS
YOU AT MIDNIGHT.

12
00:00:19,435 --> 00:00:20,437
WHAT?
EVERYONE'S GOT TO.

13
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:21,813
CAN'T KISS ROSS.
YOU GOT HISTORY.

14
00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:23,147
SO?
SO, WHO WOULD
YOU RATHER

15
00:00:23,230 --> 00:00:24,733
HAVE KISS YOU,
ME OR CHANDLER?

16
00:00:24,816 --> 00:00:25,734
OH, GOOD POINT.

17
00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:26,984
YEAH.

18
00:00:27,067 --> 00:00:29,696
THREE… TWO… ONE…

19
00:00:29,779 --> 00:00:31,322
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

20
00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:38,663
HAPPY NEW YEAR.

21
00:00:38,746 --> 00:00:39,873
HAPPY NEW YEAR.

22
00:00:39,956 --> 00:00:41,625
HAPPY NEW YEAR,
PHEEBS.
YOU, TOO.

23
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,042
HAPPY NEW YEAR, JOEY.

24
00:00:43,125 --> 00:00:45,419
SO, THAT DO
ANYTHING FOR YOU?

25
00:01:34,385 --> 00:01:35,303
YOU KNOW WHAT?

26
00:01:35,386 --> 00:01:36,387
I'M GOING TO GO

27
00:01:36,470 --> 00:01:37,806
OUT ON A LIMB AND SAY

28
00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:39,307
NO DIVORCES IN '99!

29
00:01:39,390 --> 00:01:40,433
YEAH, BABY!

30
00:01:42,351 --> 00:01:44,437
BUT YOU'RE DIVORCE
ISN'T EVEN FINAL YET.

31
00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:46,189
JUST THE ONE DIVORCE IN '99!

32
00:01:46,272 --> 00:01:47,272
YEAH, BABY!

33
00:01:48,357 --> 00:01:49,442
YOU KNOW WHAT?

34
00:01:49,525 --> 00:01:51,277
I AM GOING TO BE HAPPY
THIS YEAR.

35
00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:53,613
I AM GOING TO MAKE MYSELF HAPPY.

36
00:01:53,696 --> 00:01:56,282
DO YOU WANT US TO
LEAVE THE ROOM OR…?

37
00:01:56,365 --> 00:01:58,618
EVERY DAY, I AM GOING
TO DO ONE THING

38
00:01:58,701 --> 00:02:00,453
I HAVE NEVER DONE BEFORE.

39
00:02:00,536 --> 00:02:03,456
THAT, MY FRIENDS,
IS MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION.

40
00:02:03,539 --> 00:02:05,124
OOH! THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

41
00:02:05,207 --> 00:02:06,417
YEAH.

42
00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:08,336
MINE IS TO PILOT
A COMMERCIAL JET.

43
00:02:08,419 --> 00:02:09,546
OH…

44
00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:11,130
THAT'S A GOOD ONE, TOO, PHEEBS.

45
00:02:11,213 --> 00:02:13,758
NOW ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS FIND A PLANELOAD OF PEOPLE

46
00:02:13,841 --> 00:02:16,177
WHOSE RESOLUTION
IS TO PLUMMET TO THEIR DEATHS.

47
00:02:16,260 --> 00:02:19,681
MAYBE YOUR RESOLUTION
SHOULD BE NOT TO MAKE
FUN OF YOUR FRIENDS

48
00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:21,516
ESPECIALLY THE ONES
WHO MAY SOON

49
00:02:21,599 --> 00:02:24,477
BE FLYING YOU
TO EUROPE FOR FREE
ON THEIR OWN PLANE.

50
00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:26,938
SHE HAS A BETTER CHANCE
OF SPROUTING WINGS

51
00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:28,314
AND FLYING UP YOUR NOSE

52
00:02:28,397 --> 00:02:30,859
THAN YOU DO
OF NOT MAKING FUN OF US.

53
00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:33,695
IN FACT, I'LL BET YOU 50 BUCKS
YOU CAN'T GO THE WHOLE YEAR

54
00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:34,988
WITHOUT MAKING FUN OF US.

55
00:02:35,071 --> 00:02:36,698
YOU KNOW WHAT?
BETTER YET… A WEEK.

56
00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:38,449
I'LL TAKE THAT BET, MY FRIEND.

57
00:02:38,532 --> 00:02:40,243
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

58
00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:43,621
PAYING ME THE 50 BUCKS CAN BE
THE "NEW THING" YOU DO THAT DAY.

59
00:02:45,623 --> 00:02:47,625
AND IT STARTS RIGHT NOW.

60
00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:50,879
ALL RIGHT,
MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION

61
00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:52,714
IS TO LEARN HOW
TO PLAY GUITAR.

62
00:02:52,797 --> 00:02:54,382
REALLY? HOW COME?

63
00:02:54,465 --> 00:02:56,718
WELL, YOU KNOW THOSE,
UH, SPECIAL SKILLS

64
00:02:56,801 --> 00:02:58,302
I HAVE LISTED
ON MY RESUME?

65
00:02:58,385 --> 00:03:01,890
WELL, I WOULD LOVE IT
IF ONE OF THOSE WAS TRUE.

66
00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:04,141
DO YOU WANT ME TO TEACH YOU?
I'M A GREAT TEACHER.

67
00:03:04,224 --> 00:03:06,061
OH, REALLY? WHO HAVE YOU TAUGHT?

68
00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:08,395
WELL, I TAUGHT ME
AND I LOVED ME.

69
00:03:09,438 --> 00:03:10,565
OH, THAT'D BE GREAT.

70
00:03:10,648 --> 00:03:11,983
YEAH. THANKS, PHEEBS.

71
00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:14,277
OH, LOOK…
BLAIR FORGOT HER GLASSES

72
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,320
AND SHE'S GOING
TO REALLY BE
NEEDING THESE

73
00:03:16,403 --> 00:03:18,322
TO KEEP AN
EYE ON THAT
BOYFRIEND

74
00:03:18,405 --> 00:03:19,824
WHO, FROM WHAT I HEAR

75
00:03:19,907 --> 00:03:22,159
NEEDS TO KEEP HIS STAPLER
IN HIS DESK DRAWER

76
00:03:22,242 --> 00:03:24,662
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'M
TALKING ABOUT.

77
00:03:24,745 --> 00:03:26,957
HEY, RACHE, MAYBE YOUR
RESOLUTION SHOULD BE

78
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,374
TO, UM… GOSSIP LESS.

79
00:03:28,457 --> 00:03:30,501
I DON'T GOSSIP.

80
00:03:33,212 --> 00:03:35,131
MAYBE SOMETIMES
I FIND OUT THINGS

81
00:03:35,214 --> 00:03:38,593
OR I HEAR SOMETHING AND I
PASS THAT INFORMATION ON.

82
00:03:38,676 --> 00:03:41,304
YOU KNOW, KIND OF LIKE
A PUBLIC SERVICE.

83
00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:43,056
DOESN'T MEAN
I'M A GOSSIP.

84
00:03:43,139 --> 00:03:45,767
I MEAN, WOULD YOU
CALL TED KOPPEL A GOSSIP?

85
00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:47,518
WELL, IF TED KOPPEL TALKED ABOUT

86
00:03:47,601 --> 00:03:50,271
HIS CO-WORKER'S BOTCHED
BOOB JOBS, YEAH, I WOULD.

87
00:03:50,354 --> 00:03:52,398
THEY WERE LIKE THIS!

88
00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:59,322
I'LL SEE YOU
TOMORROW.

89
00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:00,656
OKAY.

90
00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:02,826
HEY.

91
00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:03,952
HEY
HEY.

92
00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:05,662
I JUST ASKED THAT GIRL OUT.

93
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:06,663
NICE.

94
00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:07,747
NICE… YEAH.

95
00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:09,124
IS THAT PART
OF YOUR RESOLUTION?

96
00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:10,416
YOUR "NEW THING"
FOR TODAY?

97
00:04:10,499 --> 00:04:11,584
YES, IT IS.

98
00:04:11,667 --> 00:04:12,669
SEE?

99
00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:14,129
"ELIZABETH…

100
00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:16,172
…HORNSWOGGLE"?

101
00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:19,258
THAT'S RIGHT.

102
00:04:19,341 --> 00:04:23,137
ELIZABETH… HORNSWOGGLE.

103
00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:26,891
HORN… SWOGGLE?

104
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:29,226
YOU OKAY, CHANDLER?

105
00:04:29,309 --> 00:04:30,520
IS THERE SOMETHING…?

106
00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:33,064
SOMETHING FUNNY
ABOUT THAT NAME?

107
00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:35,108
NO. NO. I JUST THINK
THAT MAYBE I'VE…

108
00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:36,901
I'VE HEARD IT SOMEWHERE BEFORE.

109
00:04:39,319 --> 00:04:42,156
OH, REALLY?
WHERE?

110
00:04:43,199 --> 00:04:45,118
SOMEWHERE FUNNY, I'LL BET.

111
00:04:46,744 --> 00:04:47,662
HEY…

112
00:04:47,745 --> 00:04:48,663
GUESS WHAT?

113
00:04:48,746 --> 00:04:50,123
I HAVE A DATE
WITH, UH…

114
00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:52,583
ELIZABETH
HORNSWOGGLE.

115
00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:55,336
HORNSWOGGLE?

116
00:04:55,419 --> 00:04:58,173
OH, THIS MUST BE KILLING YOU.

117
00:04:58,256 --> 00:04:59,507
SEE YOU LATER.

118
00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:00,967
SEE YOU.

119
00:05:01,050 --> 00:05:03,511
ALL RIGHT, PHEEBS, I AM READY
FOR MY FIRST LESSON.

120
00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:04,512
OKAY.

121
00:05:04,595 --> 00:05:05,513
OH, NO, NO.

122
00:05:05,596 --> 00:05:07,098
YOU DON'T TOUCH
THE GUITAR.

123
00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:08,850
NO. NO. FIRST,
YOU LEARN HERE.

124
00:05:08,933 --> 00:05:10,143
THEN YOU LEARN HERE.

125
00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:12,228
OH… OKAY.

126
00:05:13,353 --> 00:05:14,271
OKAY…

127
00:05:14,354 --> 00:05:15,356
LESSON ONE.

128
00:05:15,439 --> 00:05:16,941
CHORDS.

129
00:05:17,024 --> 00:05:20,904
NOW, UM, I DON'T KNOW
THE ACTUAL NAMES OF THE CHORDS

130
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:23,031
UM, BUT I-I-I

131
00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:25,158
MADE UP NAMES
FOR THE WAY MY HAND LOOKS

132
00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:26,408
WHILE I'M DOING THEM.

133
00:05:27,785 --> 00:05:28,745
SO, THEN

134
00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:30,871
THIS IS "BEAR CLAW."

135
00:05:31,914 --> 00:05:34,125
OKAY. UM,
"TURKEY LEG…"

136
00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:37,419
AND "OLD LADY."

137
00:05:39,421 --> 00:05:43,217
WHAT AN INTERESTING APPROACH
TO GUITAR INSTRUCTION.

138
00:05:44,718 --> 00:05:46,846
YOU KNOW, SOME MIGHT
FIND IT AMUSING.

139
00:05:46,929 --> 00:05:48,639
I, MYSELF, FIND IT REGULAR.

140
00:05:52,518 --> 00:05:54,896
HEY, EVERYBODY.
RACHEL WAS SO
GOOD TODAY.

141
00:05:54,979 --> 00:05:56,313
SHE DIDN'T GOSSIP AT ALL.

142
00:05:56,396 --> 00:05:58,108
I DIDN'T.
EVEN WHEN I FOUND OUT…

143
00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,817
UM… ALL RIGHT…

144
00:05:59,900 --> 00:06:01,152
WELL, LET'S JUST SAY

145
00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:03,113
I FOUND OUT SOMETHING
ABOUT SOMEONE

146
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,865
AND LET'S JUST SAY…
SHE'S GOING TO KEEP IT.

147
00:06:07,449 --> 00:06:08,826
HEY, PHEEBS.

148
00:06:08,909 --> 00:06:10,161
CHECK THIS OUT.

149
00:06:14,248 --> 00:06:16,793
OOH! YOU-YOU NAILED
THE "OLD LADY."

150
00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:18,211
OH!

151
00:06:21,797 --> 00:06:22,715
YEAH…

152
00:06:22,798 --> 00:06:23,967
YEAH. LISTEN, SO…

153
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,384
I THOUGHT I WAS
GETTING BETTER

154
00:06:25,467 --> 00:06:26,594
SO, ON MY WAY HOME TODAY

155
00:06:26,677 --> 00:06:28,303
I STOPPED BY THIS
GUITAR STORE AND…

156
00:06:28,386 --> 00:06:30,431
DID YOU-DID YOU TOUCH
ANY OF THE GUITARS

157
00:06:30,514 --> 00:06:31,557
WHILE YOU WERE THERE?

158
00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:33,309
DID YOU?

159
00:06:35,936 --> 00:06:37,063
NO.

160
00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:39,982
GIVE ME YOUR HANDS.

161
00:06:41,317 --> 00:06:42,693
STRINGS.

162
00:06:42,776 --> 00:06:44,112
GIVE IT.

163
00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:45,321
PICK.

164
00:06:45,404 --> 00:06:46,446
OH!

165
00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:50,534
DO YOU WANT TO LEARN
TO PLAY GUITAR?

166
00:06:50,617 --> 00:06:51,535
YES.

167
00:06:51,618 --> 00:06:53,079
THEN DON'T TOUCH ONE!

168
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:56,124
HI.

169
00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:57,292
HI!

170
00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:58,835
HI, BEN!

171
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:01,171
AUNTIE MONICA!

172
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,381
ROSS IS WEARING LEATHER PANTS!

173
00:07:07,718 --> 00:07:11,597
DOES NOBODY ELSE SEE
THAT ROSS IS WEARING
LEATHER PANTS?

174
00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:14,516
SOMEONE! COMMENT
ON THE PANTS!

175
00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:16,894
THEY'RE
VERY NICE.

176
00:07:16,977 --> 00:07:17,979
I REALLY
LIKE THEM.

177
00:07:18,062 --> 00:07:19,521
YEAH.
NICE STUFF.

178
00:07:20,981 --> 00:07:23,026
NOT WHAT I
HAD IN MIND.

179
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,735
SEE, PEOPLE LIKE ROSS

180
00:07:24,818 --> 00:07:27,197
DON'T GENERALLY WEAR
THESE TYPES OF PANTS.

181
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,615
YOU SEE, THEY'RE
VERY TIGHT.

182
00:07:29,698 --> 00:07:32,869
MAYBE THERE'S
SOMETHING IN
THAT AREA.

183
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:34,370
THEY LOOK GOOD.
I LIKE THEM.

184
00:07:34,453 --> 00:07:35,371
WAY TO GO.

185
00:07:35,454 --> 00:07:36,789
THEY LOOK
GREAT.

186
00:07:36,872 --> 00:07:38,624
WHERE DID YOU
GET THEM?

187
00:07:38,707 --> 00:07:41,002
SEE, I… I NEEDED
A NEW THING FOR TODAY

188
00:07:41,085 --> 00:07:43,254
AND THERE'S THIS
LEATHER STORE I GO BY

189
00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:44,839
THAT ALWAYS
SMELLS SO GOOD.

190
00:07:44,922 --> 00:07:46,507
AND I THOUGHT
TO MYSELF, WOW.

191
00:07:46,590 --> 00:07:48,051
YOU KNOW,
I'VE NEVER OWNED

192
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:52,679
A REALLY GOOD-SMELLING
PAIR OF PANTS BEFORE.

193
00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:56,767
OH, COME ON!

194
00:08:01,105 --> 00:08:02,982
OKAY, SERIOUSLY,
WHAT DO YOU THINK?

195
00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:04,359
AWFUL.
ABSOLUTELY AWFUL.

196
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:05,525
YEAH. AWFUL.

197
00:08:08,779 --> 00:08:09,864
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

198
00:08:09,947 --> 00:08:10,907
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

199
00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:12,158
IT'S MY NEW YEAR'S
RESOLUTION.

200
00:08:12,241 --> 00:08:13,659
TO BLIND MY CHILD?

201
00:08:13,742 --> 00:08:15,995
NO. TO TAKE MORE
PICTURES OF ALL
OF US TOGETHER.

202
00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:18,289
I MEAN, I REALLY
THINK IT'S THE
BEST RESOLUTION

203
00:08:18,372 --> 00:08:20,208
BECAUSE EVERYONE
CAN ENJOY THE
PICTURES.

204
00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:23,127
WELL, EVERYONE WILL
ENJOY MY MUSIC AS WELL.

205
00:08:34,138 --> 00:08:35,472
OH, MY GOD.

206
00:08:35,555 --> 00:08:38,684
THESE PANTS… I'M BURNING UP.

207
00:08:40,602 --> 00:08:42,688
SHE WANTS TO SNUGGLE NOW?

208
00:08:42,771 --> 00:08:44,774
WHAT? IS SHE TRYING TO KILL ME?

209
00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:47,485
IT'S LIKE A VOLCANO IN HERE.

210
00:08:48,735 --> 00:08:50,071
ARE YOU HOT?

211
00:08:50,154 --> 00:08:51,739
NO.

212
00:08:51,822 --> 00:08:54,616
OKAY. MUST JUST
BE ME, THEN.

213
00:09:07,963 --> 00:09:10,674
THAT WAS JUST THE PANTS
ON THE COUCH.

214
00:09:12,968 --> 00:09:16,013
UM, HEY, DO YOU-DO YOU MIND
IF I USE YOUR BATHROOM?

215
00:09:16,096 --> 00:09:17,140
OH, GO AHEAD.

216
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:18,265
THANKS.

217
00:09:55,844 --> 00:09:57,763
AH…

218
00:09:57,846 --> 00:09:59,098
HEY!

219
00:09:59,181 --> 00:10:00,766
MY FAVORITE
PART'S COMING UP!

220
00:10:00,849 --> 00:10:02,101
'KAY.

221
00:10:19,034 --> 00:10:20,619
OH, MY GOD!

222
00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:25,666
"TIGER."

223
00:10:25,749 --> 00:10:27,084
"DRAGON."

224
00:10:27,167 --> 00:10:29,003
"ICEBERG."

225
00:10:29,086 --> 00:10:32,131
JOSEPH, DID YOU EVEN
STUDY AT ALL LAST NIGHT?

226
00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:34,008
YES. YES, I DID.

227
00:10:34,091 --> 00:10:35,509
THEN DO "ICEBERG."

228
00:10:36,635 --> 00:10:37,845
"G" SHARP.

229
00:10:37,928 --> 00:10:39,472
"G" SHARP?

230
00:10:40,722 --> 00:10:43,892
HAVE YOU BEEN STUDYING
THE REAL NAMES OF THE CHORDS?

231
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:46,437
HAVE YOU?

232
00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:49,232
OH, MY GOD.

233
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:51,526
WHAT? I-I DIDN'T
TOUCH A GUITAR!

234
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:53,361
NO, BUT YOU'RE
QUESTIONING MY METHOD.

235
00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:55,405
NO. I'M NOT
QUESTIONING IT, PHOEBE.

236
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:56,780
I'M SAYING
IT'S STUPID!

237
00:10:56,863 --> 00:10:58,282
WHAT?

238
00:11:00,451 --> 00:11:01,743
THANK YOU.

239
00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:05,081
YOU KNOW, NONE OF
MY OTHER STUDENT

240
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:07,416
THOUGHT I WAS STUPID!

241
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:10,710
YOUR OTHER STUDENT
WAS YOU!

242
00:11:12,045 --> 00:11:16,884
YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW,
MAYBE YOU JUST NEED TO
TRY A LITTLE HARDER.

243
00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:18,844
MAYBE I NEED TO TRY
A REAL TEACHER!

244
00:11:18,927 --> 00:11:20,513
RIGHT HERE. HERE.
ANDY COOPER.

245
00:11:20,596 --> 00:11:21,931
HE TEACHES GUITAR.

246
00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:24,016
AND LOOK. OOH, THERE'S
A NICE PICTURE OF HIM

247
00:11:24,099 --> 00:11:25,393
WITH A LITTLE KID, YEAH.

248
00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:27,394
AND THE KID'S GOT A GUITAR!

249
00:11:28,562 --> 00:11:30,064
FINE!

250
00:11:30,147 --> 00:11:32,442
YOU GO LEARN FROM YOUR…
QUALIFIED INSTRUCTOR!

251
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:33,943
BUT DON'T COME CRYING TO ME

252
00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:35,610
WHEN EVERYONE
IS SICK AND TIRED

253
00:11:35,693 --> 00:11:38,030
OF HEARING YOU PLAY
"BAD, BAD, LEROY BROWN."

254
00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:44,453
OH, FINE. TAKE HIS SIDE!

255
00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:53,129
I can't wait to be with you.

256
00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:55,672
I'll sneak over
as soon as Ross picks up Ben.

257
00:11:55,755 --> 00:11:57,258
I'll just tell Rachel

258
00:11:57,341 --> 00:11:59,843
I'm going to be doing laundry
for a couple of hours.

259
00:11:59,926 --> 00:12:02,680
Laundry? Huh.
Is that my new nickname?

260
00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:08,477
You know what your nickname is,
Mr. Big…

261
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:21,907
HELLO.

262
00:12:21,990 --> 00:12:24,701
JOEY, IT'S ROSS.
I NEED SOME HELP.

263
00:12:24,784 --> 00:12:26,870
UH, CHANDLER'S NOT HERE.

264
00:12:26,953 --> 00:12:28,664
WELL, YOU CAN HELP ME.

265
00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:31,750
OKAY.

266
00:12:31,833 --> 00:12:33,919
LISTEN, I'M IN
ELIZABETH'S BATHROOM…

267
00:12:34,002 --> 00:12:36,422
NICE.

268
00:12:36,505 --> 00:12:38,924
NO, I GOT REALLY HOT
IN MY LEATHER PANTS

269
00:12:39,007 --> 00:12:40,635
SO I TOOK THEM OFF

270
00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:43,596
BUT THEY MUST HAVE SHRUNK
FROM THE SWEAT OR SOMETHING

271
00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:47,099
OR MY LEGS EXPANDED
FROM THE HEAT.

272
00:12:47,182 --> 00:12:50,603
BUT I CAN'T GET THEM
BACK ON, JOEY.

273
00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:52,021
I CAN'T!

274
00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:55,023
OH, THAT IS QUITE A SITUATION.

275
00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:59,612
UH, DO YOU SEE ANY,
LIKE, POWDER?

276
00:12:59,695 --> 00:13:01,572
POWDER, YEAH, YEAH.

277
00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:02,781
I HAVE POWDER.

278
00:13:02,864 --> 00:13:04,241
Good, good, okay.

279
00:13:04,324 --> 00:13:05,493
SPRINKLE SOME
ON YOUR LEGS.

280
00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:07,036
IT WILL ABSORB SOME
OF THE MOISTURE

281
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:08,663
AND THEN YOU CAN GET
YOUR PANTS ON.

282
00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:10,205
OKAY, HOLD ON.

283
00:13:33,019 --> 00:13:36,106
THEY'RE NOT COMING ON, MAN.

284
00:13:36,189 --> 00:13:39,318
UM, YOU SEE ANY… OH, VASELINE?

285
00:13:41,027 --> 00:13:42,488
I… I SEE LOTION.

286
00:13:42,571 --> 00:13:43,656
I HAVE LOTION.

287
00:13:43,739 --> 00:13:44,990
WILL THAT WORK?

288
00:13:45,073 --> 00:13:47,243
YEAH, SURE. THROW SOME
OF THAT ON THERE.

289
00:13:47,326 --> 00:13:48,577
Hold on.

290
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,510
ROSS, YOU OKAY?

291
00:14:04,593 --> 00:14:05,802
THEY'RE STILL…

292
00:14:05,885 --> 00:14:08,097
THEY'RE STILL
NOT COMING ON, MAN.

293
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:11,684
AND THE LOTION AND THE POWDER
HAVE MADE A PASTE.

294
00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:13,185
REALLY?

295
00:14:13,268 --> 00:14:16,480
UH, WHAT COLOR IS IT?

296
00:14:16,563 --> 00:14:20,234
WHAT DIFFERENCE
DOES THAT MAKE?

297
00:14:20,317 --> 00:14:21,985
WELL, IF THE PASTE
MATCHES THE PANTS

298
00:14:22,068 --> 00:14:24,071
YOU CAN MAKE YOURSELF A PAIR
OF PASTE PANTS

299
00:14:24,154 --> 00:14:25,823
AND SHE WON'T KNOW
THE DIFFERENCE.

300
00:14:27,449 --> 00:14:29,201
JOEY, DO YOU
HAVE A MINUTE?

301
00:14:29,284 --> 00:14:30,745
DUDE, WHAT AM I…?

302
00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:32,455
RACHEL'S HERE.
SO GOOD LUCK, MAN.

303
00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:34,039
LET ME KNOW HOW
IT WORKS OUT.

304
00:14:35,791 --> 00:14:38,001
OH, JOEY, I HAVE
SUCH A PROBLEM.

305
00:14:38,084 --> 00:14:40,671
WELL, YOUR TIMING
COULDN'T BE BETTER.

306
00:14:40,754 --> 00:14:44,216
I AM PUTTING OUR FIRES
ALL OVER THE PLACE TODAY.

307
00:14:44,299 --> 00:14:45,593
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.

308
00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:48,887
JOEY, I HAVE GOT
TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.

309
00:14:48,970 --> 00:14:50,222
WHAT? WHAT IS IT?
WHAT IS IT?

310
00:14:50,305 --> 00:14:51,390
OH, MY GOD,
IT'S SO HUGE.

311
00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:52,933
BUT YOU JUST HAVE
TO PROMISE ME…

312
00:14:53,016 --> 00:14:54,226
YOU CANNOT TELL ANYONE.

313
00:14:54,309 --> 00:14:55,894
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

314
00:14:55,977 --> 00:14:56,895
WHAT?

315
00:14:56,978 --> 00:14:58,355
YES, YES, YES.

316
00:14:58,438 --> 00:14:59,732
YOU DO WANT TO KNOW.
THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE.

317
00:14:59,815 --> 00:15:00,983
I DON'T CARE, RACHE.

318
00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:02,485
LOOK, I AM TIRED
OF BEING THE GUY

319
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:05,028
WHO KNOWS ALL THE SECRETS
AND CAN'T TELL ANYONE.

320
00:15:05,111 --> 00:15:06,739
YOU KNOW SECRETS?
WHAT ARE THEY?

321
00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:08,532
AND YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO BE GOSSIPING.

322
00:15:08,615 --> 00:15:10,242
I KNOW, I JUST CAN'T
KEEP THIS ONE IN.

323
00:15:10,325 --> 00:15:11,451
SO I PICK UP THE PHONE…

324
00:15:17,165 --> 00:15:19,042
I'M NOT LISTENING
TO YOU.

325
00:15:34,516 --> 00:15:39,271
ROSS, UM, YOU'VE BEEN IN THERE
FOR A LONG TIME.

326
00:15:39,354 --> 00:15:42,191
I'M STARTING TO GET
KIND OF FREAKED OUT.

327
00:15:42,274 --> 00:15:44,818
ALL RIGHT,
I'M COMING OUT.

328
00:15:45,861 --> 00:15:48,029
HEY, CAN YOU TURN
THE LIGHTS OFF?

329
00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:51,534
NO.

330
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:55,287
LET'S JUST LEAVE THE LIGHTS ON.

331
00:16:03,545 --> 00:16:05,881
OH, MY GOD.

332
00:16:06,965 --> 00:16:08,967
I HAD A PROBLEM.

333
00:16:15,014 --> 00:16:16,308
HEY, PHEEBS.

334
00:16:16,391 --> 00:16:18,310
OH, I CAN'T TALK TO YOU.

335
00:16:18,393 --> 00:16:21,814
I DON'T HAVE A FANCY AD
IN THE YELLOW PAGES.

336
00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:25,359
LOOK, PHEEBS, I JUST…

337
00:16:25,442 --> 00:16:26,610
I WANT TO APOLOGIZE

338
00:16:26,693 --> 00:16:30,656
FOR SAYING YOUR
METHOD WAS STUPID

339
00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:32,908
AND MAYBE…

340
00:16:32,991 --> 00:16:35,536
ASK YOU TO BE MY TEACHER AGAIN?

341
00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:37,872
AND-AND I PROMISE
I WON'T TOUCH A GUITAR

342
00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:39,456
UNTIL YOU SAY I'M READY.

343
00:16:48,632 --> 00:16:49,717
YOU REALLY THINK
I'M READY?

344
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:51,385
UH-HUH.

345
00:16:51,468 --> 00:16:53,762
WOW. COOL!

346
00:16:55,305 --> 00:16:56,598
OKAY.

347
00:17:13,490 --> 00:17:16,034
WAS THE CHORD AT LEAST
RIGHT BEFORE…?

348
00:17:16,117 --> 00:17:17,494
NO.

349
00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:27,797
OH, MY GOD!

350
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,173
WE HEARD ABOUT YOUR PANTS.

351
00:17:30,256 --> 00:17:31,508
I'M SO SORRY.

352
00:17:31,591 --> 00:17:34,428
THIS YEAR WAS SUPPOSED
TO BE GREAT.

353
00:17:34,511 --> 00:17:36,054
WELL, IT'S ONLY
THE SECOND DAY

354
00:17:36,137 --> 00:17:40,058
AND I'M A LOSER
WITH STUPID LEATHER PANTS

355
00:17:40,141 --> 00:17:42,060
THAT DON'T EVEN FIT!

356
00:17:42,143 --> 00:17:43,979
NO, YOU'RE
NOT A LOSER.

357
00:17:45,355 --> 00:17:47,691
LOOK AT ME!

358
00:17:53,780 --> 00:17:56,325
HEY, HEY, LOOK.
LOOK, ROSS.

359
00:17:56,408 --> 00:17:58,619
BEN DREW A PICTURE OF YOU.

360
00:17:58,702 --> 00:18:00,579
HUH? YOU'RE A COWBOY.

361
00:18:03,373 --> 00:18:04,959
OH.

362
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:07,669
BE-BECAUSE OF
THE LEATHER PANTS?

363
00:18:09,337 --> 00:18:11,006
SEE? BEN DOESN'T THINK
YOU'RE A LOSER.

364
00:18:11,089 --> 00:18:12,341
HE THINKS YOU'RE A COWBOY.

365
00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:13,717
I MEAN, THAT'S SOMETHING.

366
00:18:15,218 --> 00:18:17,888
HOWDY, PARTNER.
HEY-HEY.

367
00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:20,098
MAYBE I SHOULD GET
ANOTHER PAIR.

368
00:18:20,181 --> 00:18:23,853
OOH! YOU KNOW, THEY
HAD SOME WITH, UH…

369
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:27,272
WITH FRINGE
ALL DOWN THE SIDES.

370
00:18:29,399 --> 00:18:30,984
I'M GOING TO GO
KISS BEN GOOD NIGHT.

371
00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:39,075
I CAN'T BELIEVE
HE THINKS I'M A COWBOY.

372
00:18:39,158 --> 00:18:41,870
I WOULD MAKE A GOOD COWBOY.

373
00:18:46,124 --> 00:18:47,960
OKAY, NOW THAT
EVERYTHING'S
WRAPPED UP HERE

374
00:18:48,043 --> 00:18:50,671
I THINK I'M GOING
TO GO DO MY LAUNDRY.

375
00:18:50,754 --> 00:18:52,506
ME, TOO, YOU KNOW, IF
THIS SHIRT IS DIRTY.

376
00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:53,840
YEP.

377
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:02,224
HEY, I'M GOING
TO GO, TOO.

378
00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:03,893
I'M GOING TO GO TO THE AIRPORT.

379
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:06,144
I FIGURE IF I HANG ROUND THERE
LONG ENOUGH

380
00:19:06,227 --> 00:19:09,189
SOMEONE'S BOUND TO LEAVE
ONE OF THOSE PLANES UNATTENDED.

381
00:19:09,272 --> 00:19:11,190
GOOD LUCK, HONEY.
BYE.

382
00:19:13,359 --> 00:19:15,696
WOW.

383
00:19:15,779 --> 00:19:17,489
HEY, UH, JOEY,
REMEMBER THAT BIG THING

384
00:19:17,572 --> 00:19:18,908
I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU ABOUT?

385
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,075
OH, NO.

386
00:19:22,869 --> 00:19:24,038
I'M NOT GOING
TO TELL YOU

387
00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:25,748
BUT IF YOU FOUND OUT ON YOUR OWN

388
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:28,124
THAT WOULD BE OKAY, AND THEN
WE COULD TALK ABOUT IT, RIGHT?

389
00:19:28,207 --> 00:19:30,210
WELL,
THEN IT WOULDN'T BE A SECRET

390
00:19:30,293 --> 00:19:32,046
SO, YEAH, THAT WOULD BE OKAY.

391
00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:33,255
YEAH, YEAH.

392
00:19:33,338 --> 00:19:35,799
YEAH.

393
00:19:35,882 --> 00:19:38,052
HEY, UH, JOE, WOULD
YOU MIND GOING OVER

394
00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:41,013
INTO CHANDLER'S BEDROOM
AND GETTING THAT BOOK BACK

395
00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:43,264
THAT HE BORROWED
FROM ME?

396
00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:48,812
NOW? YOU WANT ME
TO GO OVER THERE NOW?

397
00:19:48,895 --> 00:19:50,397
HMM.

398
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:52,107
DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING?

399
00:19:52,190 --> 00:19:54,109
DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING?

400
00:19:54,192 --> 00:19:55,778
I MIGHT KNOW SOMETHING.

401
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:57,446
I MIGHT KNOW SOMETHING, TOO.

402
00:19:57,529 --> 00:19:58,948
WHAT'S THE THING YOU KNOW?

403
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,574
I CAN'T TELL YOU
TILL YOU TELL ME.

404
00:20:00,657 --> 00:20:01,491
I CAN'T TELL YOU.

405
00:20:01,574 --> 00:20:02,242
I CAN'T TELL YOU.

406
00:20:02,325 --> 00:20:03,576
OKAY, FINE.

407
00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:14,546
YOU DON'T KNOW.

408
00:20:14,629 --> 00:20:16,840
HOW ABOUT I GO OVER AND
WALK INTO CHANDLER'S BEDROOM

409
00:20:16,923 --> 00:20:18,467
AND SEE THE THING
I THINK THAT I KNOW

410
00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:20,426
IS ACTUALLY THE THING
I THINK THAT I KNOW.

411
00:20:21,636 --> 00:20:22,930
YOU KNOW!

412
00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:23,847
AND YOU KNOW!

413
00:20:23,930 --> 00:20:25,099
YEAH, I KNOW!

414
00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:26,600
CHANDLER AND MONICA?

415
00:20:26,683 --> 00:20:28,226
OH, THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE!

416
00:20:28,309 --> 00:20:29,603
HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN?

417
00:20:29,686 --> 00:20:30,980
TOO LONG! OH,
MY GOD, RACHE!

418
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:32,940
I'VE BEEN DYING TO TALK
TO SOMEONE ABOUT THIS

419
00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:34,066
FOR SO LONG!

420
00:20:34,149 --> 00:20:35,191
BUT LISTEN, LISTEN.

421
00:20:35,274 --> 00:20:36,777
YOU CAN'T SAY
ANYTHING TO ANYBODY.

422
00:20:36,860 --> 00:20:38,236
THEY'RE SO WEIRD ABOUT THAT.

423
00:20:38,319 --> 00:20:39,529
LISTEN…

424
00:20:40,530 --> 00:20:41,949
HEY, PHOEBE!

425
00:20:42,032 --> 00:20:43,325
HEY. IT'S RAINING.

426
00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:45,952
I DON'T LIKE TO FLY
IN THE RAIN, SO…

427
00:20:47,787 --> 00:20:49,164
OH!

428
00:20:49,247 --> 00:20:51,792
I AM GOING TO GO FOR
A WALK IN THE RAIN.

429
00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:53,251
OH, YEAH, ME, TOO.

430
00:20:57,338 --> 00:20:59,133
THAT'S WEIRD.

431
00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:01,927
I BET THEY'RE DOING IT.

432
00:21:07,140 --> 00:21:09,685
OH, GOOD. OKAY, LOOK,
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

433
00:21:09,768 --> 00:21:13,981
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE,
SO YOU WIN, OKAY? HERE.

434
00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:15,149
PHEEBS, FLYING A JET?

435
00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:16,900
BETTER MAKE IT A SPACESHIP

436
00:21:16,983 --> 00:21:19,652
SO YOU CAN GET BACK
TO YOUR HOME PLANET.

437
00:21:21,238 --> 00:21:22,948
AND ROSS,
PHONE CALL FOR YOU TODAY.

438
00:21:23,031 --> 00:21:24,908
TOM JONES…
HE WANTS HIS PANTS BACK!

439
00:21:26,076 --> 00:21:27,661
AND "HORNSWOGGLE"?

440
00:21:27,744 --> 00:21:29,830
WHAT ARE YOU… DATING
A CHARACTER FROM FRAGGLE ROCK?