GOOD, YOU GUYS ARE ALL HERE.
HEY, WHAT'S UP?
WELL, I HAVE A JOB INTERVIEW AT RALPH LAUREN TOMORROW.
OH…
CONGRATULATIONS.
OH, BOY, THAT GUY'S UNDERWEAR SUCKS.
WHAT?
OH, I GOT THIS PAIR MARKED "XS."
LET ME TELL YOU, THERE WAS NO ROOM FOR "XS" ANYTHING IN THERE.
ANYWAY
I'LL BE THE COORDINATOR OF THE WOMEN'S COLLECTION.
I'LL WORK RIGHT UNDER THE DIRECTOR.
IT'S THE PERFECT
PERFECT JOB FOR ME.
WELL, IF YOU NAIL THE INTERVIEW, YOU'LL GET IT.
YOU WANT TO WORK ON YOUR INTERVIEW SKILLS?
OKAY. OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
HI. HI.
VERY GOOD HANDSHAKE.
GOOD WRIST ACTION.
LET ME TRY.
OKAY.
OH, MY GOD! WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?
DID I SQUEEZE IT TOO HARD?
LET'S JUST SAY I'M GLAD I'M NOT CHANDLER.
THAT'S RIGHT, ROSS… I CAN SEE YOU IN YOUR NEW APARTMENT
AND YOU CAN SEE ME… SAME AS YESTERDAY.
SAME AS THE DAY BEFORE.
IS HE DOING HIS "SHARK ATTACK" BIT YET?
NOPE. WAIT.
THERE HE GOES.
VERY FUNNY, ROSS.
VERY LIFELIKE AND FUNNY. OKAY.
OH, NO, NO, NO.
I WASN'T WAVING AT YOU, LADY.
WHOA, MAYBE I WAS.
HEY, MONICA, THIS TOTALLY HOT GIRL IN ROSS' BUILDING
IS FLIRTING WITH ME.
GET IN THERE, MAN.
FLIRT BACK. MIX IT UP.
YEAH, I'M DOWN WITH THAT.
OKAY, HERE GOES.
HOW… YOU…
A-DOING?
IT WORKED.
SHE'S WAVING ME OVER.
OKAY, I'LL BE RIGHT OVER.
LET'S SEE.
SHE'S ON THE THIRD FLOOR.
WOW, SHE IS PRETTY, HUH?
TELL ME ABOUT IT, HUH?
NO, NO, NO.
NO, NO, I'M NOT WITH HER.
NO, THAT'S JUST MONICA.
BLEAH! UH-UH.
HEY, JOEY.
GREAT STUFF, HUH?
THIS YOUR PLACE?
YEAH, OF COURSE, IT IS. COME ON IN.
WOO, WOO
GO BY THE WINDOW.
YOU CAN PRETEND TO BE SURFING.
BUT I COUNTED.
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO LIVE HERE.
OH, MAN.
WHAT HAPPENED?
I ENDED UP AT ROSS' PLACE.
I MUST HAVE MISCOUNTED OR SOMETHING.
DAMN! SHE'S NOT THERE ANYMORE.
LOOK, ROSS IS DOING HIS "WATCHING TV" BIT.
NO, JOEY, I THINK HE'S JUST WATCHING TV.
We've lost visual contact with the suspect.
OKAY, NOW I REALLY HAVE TO GO.
IT'S SO UNFAIR THAT OUR DATE
HAS TO GET CUT SHORT JUST 'CAUSE SOME GUY
SHOT AT A STORE CLERK.
I KNOW, BUT IT'S MY JOB, SWEETHEART.
OKAY, BUT MAYBE I COULD COME, TOO.
Suspect has just emerged naked from the sewer.
ALL RIGHT, YOU GO.
OKAY, BYE.
OH, GOD.
WHAT?
OH, I JUST MISS HIM SO MUCH.
WOW, FOR JUST A WEEK
YOU GUYS ARE REALLY CLOSE, HUH?
YEAH, IT'S WEIRD.
I CAN'T HELP IT, THOUGH.
HE'S SO SWEET.
HE'S LIKE THIS LITTLE PUPPY DOG, YOU KNOW?
BUT LIKE A REALLY TOUGH ONE WHO SHOOTS BAD GUYS.
I JUST LOVE THE BEGINNING PARTS
OF RELATIONSHIPS, YOU KNOW?
YOU JUST CAN'T KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF EACH OTHER.
I KNOW. IT IS THE BEST.
OH, GOD.
SO HOW LONG DID THAT LAST FOR YOU AND CHANDLER?
WHAT? IT'S STILL GOING ON.
COME ON.
SERIOUSLY, WHEN DID IT END?
I AM SERIOUS.
I MEAN, WE'RE ALL OVER EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME.
WELL, YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE
BETTER THAN I DO.
I WAS JUST CURIOUS.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST CALM DOWN, PHOEBE, ALL RIGHT?
WHY DON'T YOU JUST GET
ALL YOUR FACTS
BEFORE YOU RUN AROUND TELLING EVERYBODY
YOU'RE THE ONLY HOT COUPLE?
GOD, I AWOKE THE BEAST.
I WAS WRONG
OBVIOUSLY.
I JUST, I MISSPOKE.
IT'S OKAY.
WELL, IT IS OKAY.
I MEAN, AS LONG AS YOU KNOW THAT
CHANDLER AND I ARE ALSO VERY HOT AND FIERY.
I MEAN, JUST AS HOT AS YOU.
I MEAN, OUR FLAME…
WHOO!
IT IS ON FIRE!
HEY, MONICA, HERE'S YOUR BROOM BACK.
MMM.
YOU ARE SO CUTE.
OH, HEY.
HOW'D THE INTERVIEW GO?
OH, HORRIBLE.
I DID THE STUPIDEST, MOST EMBARRASSING THING.
DID YOU TELL THE GUY
YOU WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH HIS WIFE
AND THEN FALL
RIGHT OUT OF YOUR CHAIR?
NO.
SO WHAT HAPPENED?
OH, IT WAS HORRIBLE.
AND THE INTERVIEW PART WENT SO WELL.
I EVEN MADE HIM LAUGH.
HE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT A BOAT
AND I WAS, LIKE, WELL
"YEAH, IF YOU'VE GOT ENOUGH LIFE JACKETS."
OH. TRUST ME. IT-IT WAS ACTUALLY…
IT WAS VERY FUNNY. ANYWAY, SO
WE WERE SAYING GOOD-BYE
AND, UH, OH…
WHAT HAPPENED?
ALL RIGHT, WELL, WE WERE SHAKING HANDS
AND HE KIND OF LEANED IN TOWARD ME…
YOU KNOW, MAYBE HE WAS GOING TO OPEN THE DOOR
BUT I TOTALLY MISREAD HIM
AND, I, UH…
YOU KNOW?
YOU KISSED HIM?
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.
WELL, YOU COULD'VE TRIED…
NOT KISSING HIM.
THANKS, CHANDLER.
HEY, RACH, A GUY FROM RALPH LAUREN CALLED.
YOU GOT A SECOND INTERVIEW.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
I GOT A SECOND INTERVIEW. YES.
I BET THAT KISS ISN'T LOOKING
LIKE SUCH A MISTAKE NOW, IS IT?
WAIT. YOU DON'T THINK
THAT'S WHY HE WANTS ME BACK?
YEAH.
NO?
KISS? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
OH, WELL, I-I ACCIDENTALLY KISSED HIM IN THE INTERVIEW
AND NOW HE WANTS ME BACK.
YOU KNOW, OF COURSE, BECAUSE
"LET'S BRING BACK THE GIRL WHO KISSES EVERYBODY."
COME ON, RACH.
OH, MY GOD, WHAT IF HE THINKS I'M THE KIND OF GIRL
THAT WILL JUST SLEEP WITH HIM?
HE PROBABLY WANTS YOU BACK
BECAUSE YOU'RE RIGHT FOR THE JOB.
MAYBE. I-I… I DON'T KNOW.
OH, GOD! HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID?
OH, RACHEL, LOOK, DON'T SAY THAT.
I-I THINK YOU JUST NEED A HUG FROM JOEY.
COME ON.
SHE'S BACK!
HOT GIRL'S BACK!
AH, WELL, I'M NOT TOTALLY BACK YET
BUT I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR…
NO, IN ROSS' BUILDING, SHE'S BACK!
OKAY. WAIT THERE. I'LL BE OVER IN A SECOND.
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR.
GOT IT!
I GOT TO CHECK OUT THIS HOT GIRL.
THERE SHE IS.
DAMN IT!
DID YOU MOVE?
YES.
I LIVED WITH YOU GUYS FOR A WHILE
AND THEN I FOUND THIS PLACE.
I'M ROSS.
YES?
UH…
DO YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE A HOT GIRL IN THERE?
NOPE.
I'M ALL ALONE.
YEAH. SORRY ABOUT THAT.
OH. HEY, LITTLE GIRL.
UH, IS YOUR MOMMY OR SISTER OR BABY-SITTER
BY ANY CHANCE A HOT GIRL?
DADDY!
LATER, GIRL.
OH, MAN.
HOT GIRL?
HI, RACHEL. HI.
COME ON IN.
OKAY.
IT'S REALLY NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
THANK YOU.
OH, RACHEL
UH…
WHAT?
JUST, UH…
EXCUSE ME?
YEAH, LET ME…
WAIT! WAIT!
ALL RIGHT. I SEE WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.
LOOK, I AM SORRY
IF I HAVE GIVEN YOU THE WRONG IMPRESSION
BUT I AM NOT SOME HUSSY
WHO WILL JUST SLEEP AROUND TO GET AHEAD.
WELL…
EVEN THOUGH I KISSED YOU
THAT DOES NOT GIVE YOU
THE RIGHT TO DEMAND SEX FROM ME.
I DO NOT WANT THIS JOB THAT BAD.
GOOD DAY, SIR.
OH!
YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE
WHAT THAT SLEAZEBALL FROM RALPH LAUREN DID TO ME.
OKAY. OKAY, THAT'S AMAZING.
HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?
YOU GOT INK ON YOUR LIP.
OH.
OH…
WHAT DO YOU SAY
MAYBE SOME TIME, I HOLD YOUR GUN?
I DON'T KNOW.
WE'RE REALLY NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT.
WHAT COULD HAPPEN?
I MEAN…
YEAH. I'M GOING TO SAY NO.
PHOEBE, DO YOU WANT TO GO SEE A MOVIE
AFTER DINNER TONIGHT?
OH, WE CAN'T. WE ALREADY HAVE PLANS.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
UM, WELL, SAME THING WE DID ALL DAY.
JUST HANG OUT AT GARY'S APARTMENT.
HE IS SO AMAZING.
WE NEVER LEFT THE BEDROOM.
BUT HAVE FUN AT THE MOVIE.
OH, WELL, WE'RE NOT SEEING A MOVIE.
YOU'RE NOT?
THEN WHY DID YOU ASK US IF WE WANTED TO GO?
OH, UM, THAT'S BECAUSE I JUST, YOU KNOW…
WANTED TO KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS WERE DOING
SO, YOU KNOW
YOU WOULDN'T WALK IN ON ME AND CHANDLER
WHILE WE WERE… YOU KNOW, DOING IT ALL NIGHT.
WILL YOU EXCUSE ME FOR JUST A SECOND?
OKAY.
CHANDLER, CAN I SEE YOU FOR A SECOND?
UH, YEAH. OKAY.
WE HAVE GOT TO BEAT THEM.
WHAT?
BECAUSE… GARY AND PHOEBE
THINK THEY'RE A HOTTER COUPLE THAN WE ARE.
OH. SO?
"SO"?
SO WE'VE GOT TO GO UPSTAIRS
AND HAVE A LOT OF SEX AND PROVE THEM WRONG.
YOU HAVE GOT TO STOP THIS COMPETITIVE THING.
OKAY? IT'S CRAZY.
JUST TO IMPRESS GARY AND PHOEBE
YOU WANT ME TO GO UPSTAIRS
AND HAVE SEX WITH YOU OVER AND OVER AND OVER…
AND I'M SAYING NO TO THIS WHY?
GET YOUR COAT!
HI.
EXCUSE ME.
YOU SHOULD CHECK THIS OUT.
TELL THE OTHER TENANTS.
APPARENTLY, HE'S RUNNING AROUND
LOOKING FOR SOME KIND OF HOT GIRL.
HUH!
WHO ISN'T?
I DON'T THINK WE'VE MET.
I'M… I'M ROSS.
I KNOW.
YOU'RE THE GUY WHO WOULDN'T CHIP IN
FOR THE HANDYMAN.
NEVER MIND.
NO, I ACTUALLY THOUGHT IT WAS REALLY UNFAIR
THE WAY EVERYONE REACTED.
I MEAN, YOU HAD JUST MOVED IN.
I HAD JUST MOVED IN.
THANK YOU.
LISTEN, UM…
JEN.
JEN, I KNOW THIS MAY SOUND A LITTLE…
BUT, UH… WOULD YOU MAYBE
WANT TO GRAB A CUP OF COFFEE SOMETIME, OR…?
SURE.
THAT WOULD BE NICE.
UM… OH.
MY NUMBER'S ON THERE.
GIVE ME A CALL.
I WILL GIVE YOU A CALL.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
OKAY.
FORGOT MY PAPER.
THAT WAS AMAZING.
OH, PHOEBE AND GARY ARE SO GOING
TO HEAR ABOUT THIS AT DINNER.
THAT WAS AMAZING.
WE ARE THE HOTTEST.
NO ONE IS HOTTER THAN WE ARE.
WE'RE THE BEST.
NO, YOU'RE THE BEST.
I AM THE BEST.
HEY, GUYS.
WHAT YOU BEEN DOING?
HEY, JOEY, ISN'T THAT THE GIRL
WHO WAVED AT YOU THE OTHER DAY?
I DON'T KNOW, BUT I CAN SEE
THROUGH YOUR SHEET.
YEAH. YEAH, THAT'S HER.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? IT DOESN'T MATTER.
I'LL NEVER GET TO MEET HER ANYWAY
BECAUSE IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND HER APARTMENT.
SHE LIVES IN, LIKE, SOME HOT-GIRL PARALLEL UNIVERSE
OR SOMETHING.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
SHE OBVIOUSLY LIVES ON THE SECOND FLOOR
SEVENTH APARTMENT FROM THE LEFT.
NO, NO, NO.
SHE LIVES ON THE THIRD FLOOR
EIGHTH APARTMENT FROM THE LEFT.
NO. THOSE FIRST TWO WINDOWS… THAT'S THE LOBBY.
AND THAT OTHER WINDOW OVER THERE… THAT'S THE STAIRWAY.
YOU'VE BEEN COUNTING WRONG.
I DID NOT KNOW THAT.
THANK YOU, MONICA.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I ALMOST LOST ANOTHER GIRL
BECAUSE OF COUNTING.
SO, ARE YOU READY?
YEAH. I'LL JUST GET MY COAT.
OKAY.
COULD YOU GET THAT?
SURE.
NO! NO!
PLEASE, SIT.
FIRST, I WOULD LIKE TO SAY
THANK YOU FOR AGREEING TO SEE ME AGAIN.
THAT'S, UH, QUITE ALL RIGHT.
BUT I FEEL OBLIGATED TO TELL YOU
THAT THIS MEETING IS BEING VIDEOTAPED.
OKAY, UM…
WELL, FIRST, I WOULD LIKE TO START
BY APOLOGIZING FOR KISSING YOU AND, UH, FOR YELLING AT YOU.
FAIR ENOUGH.
NOW, YOU'RE PROBABLY GOING TO HIRE
ONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO, UH…
WHO DID NOT, UM…
YELL AT YOU AND STORM OUT.
MM-HMM.
AND I THINK THAT'S A BIG MISTAKE AND HERE'S WHY.
I MADE A HUGE FOOL OF MYSELF AND I CAME BACK.
THAT SHOWS COURAGE.
WHEN I THOUGHT YOU WANTED SEX
IN EXCHANGE FOR THIS JOB, I SAID NO.
THAT SHOWS INTEGRITY.
AND I WAS NOT AFRAID
TO STAND UP FOR MYSELF
AND THAT SHOWS COURAGE.
OKAY, NOW, I KNOW THAT I'VE ALREADY SAID COURAGE
BUT, YOU KNOW, YOU GOT TO HAVE COURAGE.
AND, UM…
AND FINALLY, WHEN I THOUGHT
YOU WERE MAKING SEXUAL ADVANCES IN THE WORKPLACE
I SAID NO AND I WAS NOT LITIGIOUS.
SO THERE YOU GO.
YOU GOT… YOU GOT COURAGE
YOU GOT INTEGRITY, YOU GOT COURAGE AGAIN
AND NOT LITIGIOUS.
LOOK, MISTER…
ZELNER.
ZELNER. I KNEW THAT.
OH, I KNEW THAT.
UH…
I REALLY, REALLY WANT THIS JOB.
AND I THINK…
I THINK I WOULD BE REALLY GOOD AT IT.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
YEAH?
I MAY REGRET THIS, BUT, UH…
I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU A SHOT.
OH, YOU ARE?
MM-HMM.
REALLY? YEAH.
OH, THANK YOU.
OH, GOD…
OH, WOULD IT BE COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE
IF I GAVE YOU A HUG?
YES. OKAY.
WELL, THEN, HOW ABOUT A HANDSHAKE?
AH, OH, GOD, I'M SORRY.
I, UH…
OH, GOD, I'M SORRY.
I DID NOT MEAN TO TOUCH THAT…
I MEAN YOU.
THERE. THERE, UM…
OKAY, SO, THANK YOU.
I'M GOING TO LEAVE.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU SO…
HEY, I'LL SEE YOU MONDAY.
OKAY.
ARE YOU TIRED, CHANDLER?
YOU BETTER BELIEVE HE'S TIRED
AFTER THE DAY WE HAD
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
HONEY, THE TORTILLA CHIPS KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
SO, CHANDLER, DO YOU LIKE THAT BADGE I GOT YOU?
OH, YEAH, IT'S SO COOL.
NOW I GOT TO GO.
OFFICER BING'S GOT A 10-100.
THAT'S PEE-PEE.
PHOEBE, YOU… YOU HAVE A…
A TWIG IN YOUR HAIR.
OH… UM, WE KIND OF TOOK A LITTLE DETOUR
ON OUR WAY OVER HERE.
YEAH, WE WERE TAKING A LITTLE STROLL THROUGH THE PARK
AND NO ONE WAS AROUND, SO…
YOU DIDN'T.
WE DID.
WE VIOLATED SECTION 12
PARAGRAPH SEVEN OF THE CRIMINAL CODE.
THE PARK, HUH?
PUBLIC PLACE.
MM-HMM.
I HEAR YOU.
CAN YOU EXCUSE ME FOR A SECOND?
OH…
HI, CHANDLER.
MONICA, THIS IS THE MEN'S ROOM.
ISN'T IT?
YES, IT IS.
BUT, SEE, I'VE ALWAYS FOUND THE MEN'S BATHROOM VERY SEXUAL.
HAVEN'T YOU?
NO.
AND IF I DID, I DON'T THINK WE'D BE GOING OUT.
MONICA, THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS.
COME ON, WE CAN'T LET THEM WIN.
WE HAVE ALREADY PROVED THAT WE ARE HOT, OKAY?
SO WHY ARE YOU GETTING SO OBSESSED ABOUT THIS THING?
BECAUSE PHOEBE AND GARY ARE IN THAT…
CAN'T-KEEP-THEIR- HANDS-OFF-EACH-OTHER
DOING-IT-IN- THE-PARK PHASE.
OH! SO?
SO… IT'S REALLY SAD
THAT WE'RE NOT THERE ANYMORE.
OH, WOW, IS THAT WHAT THIS HAS ALL BEEN ABOUT?
WASN'T IT A LOT MORE EXCITING
WHEN WE WERE, YOU KNOW
ALL OVER EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME?
WELL, YEAH, THAT WAS GREAT.
THAT WAS REALLY… GREAT.
BUT TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH
I'M MORE EXCITED ABOUT WHERE WE ARE NOW.
REALLY?
YEAH.
I'VE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP
THAT'S LASTED THIS LONG BEFORE, YOU KNOW?
AND TO GET PAST THE BEGINNING
AND STILL WANT TO BE AROUND EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME…
WELL, I THINK THAT'S PRETTY INCREDIBLE.
AND THE FACT THAT THIS IS ALL HAPPENING WITH YOU…
YEAH, I THINK THAT'S PRETTY EXCITING.
THAT'S SO SWEET.
I KNOW THAT I WAS ACTING A LITTLE CRAZY, BUT, UM…
I FEEL THE SAME WAY.
YEAH?
YOU KNOW WHAT I JUST REALIZED?
YOU JUST FREAKED OUT ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP.
I DID NOT.
YES, YOU DID; ADMIT IT.
YOU FREAKED OUT.
OKAY, I FREAKED OUT A LITTLE.
A LITTLE? YOU FREAKED OUT BIG TIME, OKAY?
AND I FIXED IT.
WE HAVE SWITCHED PLACES.
I AM THE RELATIONSHIP KING
AND YOU ARE THE CRAZY, IRRATIONAL SCREW-UP.
OOH-OOH!
AND NOW WE'RE BACK.
I CANNOT BELIEVE ROSS IS BUYING THIS.
THANK GOD.
I CAN'T WATCH HIM ANYMORE.
YOU GUYS READY FOR THE MOVIES?
YEAH.
THANK YOU FOR LOANING US PAMELA AND YASMINE.
MAN, THEY CANNOT GET ENOUGH.