Hey. Hey.
Wow!
You look nice. What's the occasion?
Monica and I are celebrating our ten month anniversary.
Got reservations at Jean-Georges.
Wow! How'd you get in there?
Oh, made a few calls, pulled some strings
and they agreed to seat us at 11:30
if we both have a chicken and didn't get dessert.
Alright.
Hi, Chandler. Hey, Caitlin.
Somebody got a haircut. Ugh! I hate it!
I look like an eight-year-old boy.
Yeah, well, if that was true, gym class
would've been a lot more interesting.
It's, uh…$27 even.
Oh, okay. Here you go.
Hey, where's the chicken? Oh, it's in the back.
The duck pissed him off.
He said that eggs came first.
Thanks. I'll see you later. Okay, bye.
What the hell was that?
What? The flirting!
Aren't you supposed to be going out with, boy,
I don't know, hm, let's see, my sister?
I was not flirting. Well, it was totally flirting!
"Somebody got a haircut.."
Okay, first of all, the impression, uncanny.
And second, that was not flirting, that was just
casual conversation between two people.
That is all! Yeah, right!
You wanna see flirting? I'll show you flirting.
I'm good.
I am so proud of Joey!
I can't believe he's gonna be on "Law and Order".
I know, but don't you think
that it should be called "Order and Law?"
Well, no, because first they arrest the guy
and then try him.
Yeah, don't get me started on that.
I was not flirting.
And on your anniversary! For shame!
'What's going on?'
Chandler was hitting on
the hot delivery girl.
I was not. And oh, God, shh!
Well, I'm sorry, but you were! Okay?
And besides, if anyone should be hitting on her
it-it's the guy who's single, okay?
The guy who, who-who can do something about it.
Sounds like someone wants to be Mr. Pizza Delivery Girl.
Well… Is that what this is about?
You like Caitlin?
Ross, we broke up two years ago.
You've been married since then.
I think it's okay that we see other people.
Well, I-I was watching her
the other day at the pizza place
and she was just so sexy and funny
and has the cutest little…
Okay. You know what? We don't need her measurements.
Hey, pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni.
Ross, I know she's pretty and you love her
but is she stupid?
She forgot my vegetarian!
This is perfect!
She'll have to come back here with your pizza
and when she does, I will turn on the charm
Oh, Ross.
Oh, I am so glad you don't eat meat.
See? Vegetarianism benefits everyone.
Hey, everybody, look who's here! You remember my grandmother.
'Hi.' Buona sera.
Big night! Yeah, it's so cool.
So Joey on "Law and Order". You must be very proud.
Chandler, she doesn't understand a word of English.
Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were Joey's other grandmother.
I've done it again.
Now, Nonnie…Nonnie's my biggest fan!
Yeah, she's the only one in the family
who's always believed in me.
Si. Big star!
My big fat Joey star.
'Yeah.'
Yeah.
I, uh, weighed, like, 27 pounds when I was born, so..
Hey! Happy anniversary.
Happy anniversary, ten months.
Oh..
So, um, when I was in the shower
I was thinking about our first night in London.
Oh, uh, Joey's grandmother's right there.
Is that the one who speaks English or the one who doesn't?
The one who doesn't.
That was some hot love you gave me.
Okay, I'm gonna go get ready. Hey, hey.
Why don't you wear those earrings I got you tonight?
Oh, that's a great idea, I was saving them
for something special.
Okay.
You've got to go home. But I like it here.
You gotta go home and get the earrings
you borrowed from me, okay?
Chandler wants me to wear them tonight.
Well, I think they're in my purse.
Why don't you go get dressed and I'll look for 'em.
Okay.
Rach, hi. I need those earrings you borrowed.
Oh. Um…okay.
Yeah, I'll-I'll be right back. Okay.
Wow, Pheebs, you speak Italian?
I guess so.
Here you go. Thank you.
Wait, Rach. Where's the other one?
Oh, what, you-you want both of them?
Rachel Karen Green, where's the other earring?
Okay, okay, okay. Look, just don't freak out.
But I kind of lost it.
'Oh, I know it's in the apartment'
but I definitely lost it.
What-what am I gonna tell Monica?
She wants to wear them tonight.
I don't know. Tell her to wear her own earrings!
These are her earrings.
No! No!
You lent me Monica's earrings?
I'm not allowed to borrow her stuff!
Why not? Because I lose her stuff!
Okay, now, you see that blind guy right there?
I'm gonna bash his head in later.
Oh, uh, my big scene's coming up, uh..
…the big scene coming up.
If you said, "Big lima bean bubbling up"
would she understand the difference?
Rach, what are you doing?
Oh, I-I just can't watch. It's too scary.
It's a diaper commercial.
Oh, yeah, well, you know me. Babies, responsibilities..
Eaah!
'Pizza delivery!' I'll get it!
I will get that!
Hi! Hi.
One, uh, vegetarian pizza. It's $12.50.
Oh. Uh..
By the way, if it makes you feel any better, uh..
…I happen to like eight-year-old boys.
You what?
The, uh, your hair. Before. Your hair.
You said you thought that your hair looked
like an eight-year-old boy's
and I'm-I'm just saying I like it.
The-the hair.
Oh. Thanks.
You understand, I don't actually like eight-year-old boys?
You know, all I'm looking for is the money.
Here you go. Now, stop bringing us pizzas, you.
I'm gonna try.
You're welcome.
You couldn't let me have her, could you?
What? This is a girl I really like.
And you, you had to swoop in there!
What's going on?
Chandler was totally flirting
with the hot delivery girl!
Thank you for that.
I was not flirting.
It's okay. I don't care. It-it's fine.
Really? Really?
It's no big deal! I do it all the time.
So, uh..
…you-you-you flirt with guys all the time?
Sure. It doesn't mean anything.
Just like I know it doesn't mean anything with you.
Okay, but there's a big difference, alright?
You're a lot hotter than I am. True story.
Gee, like, this actually bothers you?
Yes, it does bother me, I think it'd bother a lot of people.
Rachel, when, uh, when you were going out with Ross
did it bother you when he flirted with other women?
Uh…no, no.
It bothered me when he slept with other women.
And thank you for that.
But, you know, I never really had anything to worry about.
Ross was never really good at the flirting thing.
What are you talking about? It-it worked with you.
Oh! You know what? No, you're right!
We met, you flirted and then, bam!
Nine years later, you had me!
Alright. Alright.
You-you know what I'm gonna do?
I am gonna order another pizza.
And when Caitlin gets here
you-you, I will show you how well I flirt.
In fact, I will-I will..
…I will get her phone number.
And not the one on the menu.
I found it. Oh! Oh, thank God!
Where was it? On your dresser.
Okay, that is the one we already have!
Okay, here's my big scene! My big scene's here.
What do you bet? Nobody heard anything?
No bet.
Anybody home?
Oh, my God! What?
O-okay. Everybody just keep smiling.
It'll kill my grandmother if she finds out.
Well, what is it?
Ah, they cut me out of the show.
What?
Are-are you sure? Maybe your scene's coming up.
'Not likely. 'Cause you see that body bag right there?'
'Yeah.' I'm in it.
I don't know, but this little old lady lives for my career.
When they dumped me off "Days of Our Lives"
she almost died!
That's not good. You're not smiling.
Not that face! Smile, everybody smile.
Joey, why don't you just tell her what happened?
I mean, it's not your fault!
If we keep talking this way, aren't we gonna
freak her out soon?
Oh, uh-uh, soon. Soon.
I'm gonna be on soon. I.. There I am!
Don't you know? Sam Waterston.
Oh, no, no. That's-that's me! That's me.
No! Sam Waterston.
"Crimes And Misdemeanors," "Capricorn One."
She doesn't know "hello", but she knows "Capricorn One".
Phoebe, I have to have those earrings.
We're gonna leave as soon as the show's over.
But I already gave them back to you.
No, you didn't. Alright.
I already didn't gave them back to you.
That's what I said.
Rachel…where's that other earring?
It's not here, Phoebs. It's not here.
Oh! I went to Joey and Chandler's last night.
Okay, make sure you check Chandler's jewelry box.
Wait a minute. What, Chandler has a jewelry box?
Okay, we have, like, ten minutes.
Do you want me to get into that now?
Hey, Phoebs. Hey.
How's that, uh..
…vegetarian pizza working out for you?
You and those, the vegetables have a real, uh..
…thing going on, huh?
Why are you being weird?
Do you like it?
No. That would be, "Why are you being cute?"
Okay. I'm working on my flirting.
Oh! I did not get that.
So, uh, Monica, do you-do you like the "Law and Order"?
Yeah, it's good.
See, I'm finding out all this stuff about you today
like, you-you like the "Law and Order"
and-and you've flirted with every guy
in the tri-state area.
Oh, okay, let me get this straight.
It's okay for you to flirt, but not for me?
I'm so glad we cleared that up.
Look, I'm sorry, but some things are different
for men and for women.
Alright, go-go on. Teach me something about men and women.
Okay, I've already taught you so much already, but whatever.
See, when you flirt with a guy, you think
"I'm just flirting. No big deal."
But the guy is thinking, "Finally!
Somebody who wants to sleep with me."
No way! It's true.
Well, that's pathetic. Again, true.
And this goes for all guys? All guys that are awake.
Then we go to sleep, and all the guys
from the other end of the world wake up
and behave the exact same way.
Alright. It's another commercial and I still haven't told her.
Joey, this is like the last commercial.
look, you got, like, ten minutes left.
I know, I know! What am I gonna do? Oh!
No! You are not gonna run out and leave her here.
Yeah, alright.
Joey! Uh..
Joey's gonna be right back.
Right back?
Meanwhile, let's-let's, let's talk about you.
So…you're old and small.
Did you find it? The earring? Mo.
But look, I found my sunglasses under the couch.
I've been looking for these since, like, last summer.
Okay, those are my sunglasses.
You borrowed them from me.
Okay. Calm down. Here they are.
Phoebe?
What do we do? I don't know. I don't know!
Alright, well…we're just
gonna have to tell Monica, that's all.
Oh, God! She's gonna kill me!
I suppose, I could tell her it was just all my fault.
Oh, that'd be great!
Mon, could I talk to you for a sec?
Yeah. What is it?
Um..
I…lost one of your earrings.
I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry.
Wow.
Alright, well, I mean, what can you do?
If you've lost it, you lost it.
I'll replace it. I promise.
I feel so terrible. Alright, sweetie.
That's fine. You didn't do it on purpose.
No. Oh, look at you.
Come here.
Feel better? Yeah! You're the best!
Okay, wait a minute.
Wait a minute. I-I-I can't do this.
Listen, honey, this is, it's not Phoebe's fault.
She lent me the earrings.
I lost it. I'm so sorry, honey.
I feel terrible, too.
That is exactly why I do not lend you stuff!
I mean, first, it's my jewelry, and if it's not my jewelry
it-it's my blue sweater, and if it's not my blue sweater
it's my sunglasses!
Your sunglasses? Yes!
Oh, right.
'Pizza.' I will, mine, mine, mine!
Okay, here goes.
Prepare yourselves for some class-A flirting.
Okay, hold on.
Okay.
Hey, you have nothing to prove.
And if you really like this girl
I don't think flirting is the right way…
Uh-uh-uh.
You'll see. Okay.
Oh, what's-what's her name?
Caitlin.
Caitlin!
Hey, oh, we-we can't keep eating like this.
It's, uh, $12.50. Okay.
So..
Do you make the pizzas in one of those, uh
wood burning ovens?
No, actually, um, I think they're gas.
Gas? Wow!
Intense.
If this is the way all the Gellers flirt
we don't have a problem.
Hey, uh..
You know that smell gas has?
Yeah. They put that in.
What? The gas is odorless.
But they add the smell
so you know when there's a leak.
Well, okay.
A lot of other gas smells.
Oh, the humanity!
Met-methane smells..
You know what? Um, actually..
I…I really, I should go.
Oh, but I-I-I haven't paid you yet.
You know what? That's okay.
You guys have ordered so many
that this one's on me.
It was..
Was I talking to her about gas?
More so than anything else.
I-I-I found it interesting.
I'm sorry. Oh, hey, hey.
Don't worry about it. Uh..
In nine years, she and I will be right there.
Okay, well, I'm gonna..
…clear out some of these boxes.
Ross? Yeah?
What else do they add smell to?
Caitlin! Caitlin!
Hi. Hi, hi, I'm Rachel.
Oh, right. From upstairs? People with all the pizza..
Oh, was there a problem? No, no, no.
Everything is, they're fine. Great pizza.
But, it's actually, uh, my friend Ross..
…he, uh, he just gets really nervous
when he's flirting.
Oh, my God!
That was flirting?
Yeah. I know, I know.
But, uh, just…I'm telling you
once-once you get past that part..
…that where it-it just feels like you wanna die..
…uh, he's-he's a really good person.
The guy with the gas? Yeah.
I-I'm-I'm telling you, he's really sweet
and he's really funny and he's just
oh, he's just got a good heart.
And besides, I, you know
I think he really likes you.
Really? Well, you know?
We have seven people and, like, ten pizzas.
What do you think?
I just, I thought Joey was there.
Then I move to dismiss.
Hey, Ross?
Um, I just ran into Caitlin in the hallway
and-and uh, you must be getting better
at this flirting stuff than I thought.
What do you mean? Well, at least I don't get it.
But she wanted me to give you her phone number.
And she just gave you this? Yeah.
Rach, thanks. But I don't need you doing me any favors, okay?
Uh, I-I didn't. I didn't.
She thought you were cute!
Well, that I can believe. Yeah!
Hey…is the show still on?
Almost over, man.
'Hey, Nonnie.'
Oh, oh, is that the Pope?
Why am I looking?
Oh, Nonnie, here I am. Look, this is my big scene!
Alright, back off.
I got a gun!
I'm not afraid to use it!
Oh, Joey! That's right, Nonnie.
You couldn't have at least, changed your shirt?
Now, I want a suitcase filled with $100,000..
Shoo, shoo, shoo.
…filled with $100,000 in small bills.
And if I don't get.. Shoo!
And if I don't get it..
…I'm gonna shoot this duck!
Oh, no!
I'm coming up!
And she's supposed to buy this?
Joey, bravo! Bellissimo!
Commencing countdown.
Engines..
…on.
That's, uh, scenes from next week's show.
Next week.
I am definitely gonna watch that.
What about these? These look the same?
Definitely. Not as each other.
Oh, then, no.
Hey, you ready? Hi. Yeah.
You look amazing. Well..
I'm the luckiest man in the world!
Oh, you're about to get a little luckier.
Where's the earrings? Oh, right, the earrings.
They look great!
Does your boyfriend have the best taste or what?
My boyfriend really does have great taste.
Thanks for picking out the earrings, man.
Mm-hmm.