OH, GOOD. YOU DECIDED TO TELL HIM
ABOUT THE RICHARD THING.
OH, NO.
YOU CANNOT SEE HIM EVER AGAIN.
YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.
THAT'S SO FUNNY.
I THINK I JUST DID.
I HAVE FOUND MY IDENTICAL HAND TWIN.
WHAT'S AN IDENTICAL HAND TWIN?
IT'S A GUY WITH MY IDENTICAL HANDS.
I'M GOING TO BE A MILLIONAIRE.
YAY!
YES, COME ON!
YOU ACTUALLY THOUGHT I WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU?
NO.
LAST NIGHT WAS EMBARRASSING FOR YOU, TOO.
I JUST DON'T EMBARRASS THAT EASILY.
I THINK THE CHECK-IN IS THAT WAY.
AH.
HELLO!
OH, KIDS LOVE ME.
HEY!
PHOEBE!
YOU GUYS ARE HERE!
YAY!
WHAT'D YOU DO, GO TO A COSTUME PARTY?
LET ME GUESS.
PANCHO VILLA.
AND YOU'RE BOB SAGET.
"PANCHO VILLA"?
YEAH.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, PHEEBS? I DON'T…
OH, MY GOD!
YOU DREW ON ME?
HEY, YOU WET MY PANTS!
HEY…
WHOA, WHAT KIND OF PARTY WAS THIS?
ROSS, I HAVE BEEN WALKING AROUND LIKE THIS SINCE THE PLANE?
YOU HAVE SO CROSSED A LINE.
RACH, WAIT.
THE MEN'S ROOM IS THAT WAY.
OH!
WHAT?
THAT'S, LIKE, THE THIRD TIME THAT LADY'S WON
ON A MACHINE I WAS PLAYING.
OH, I BET SHE'S ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE.
M-M-MOLE PEOPLE?
WHAT? NO. NO, A LURKER.
OH. WHAT'S A LURKER?
OKAY, WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING A MACHINE
AND IT HASN'T PAID OUT
A LURKER WAITS FOR YOU TO GIVE UP AND THEN…
KILLS YOU?
NO, THEY SWOOP IN AND STEAL YOUR JACKPOT.
OH. MM-HMM.
HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS?
MY NANA USED TO DO IT, MM-HMM.
THAT'S HOW SHE PAID FOR ALL MY DANCE…
KARATE LESSONS.
DANCE KARATE?
YES. IT'S A DEADLY BUT BEAUTIFUL SPORT.
OKAY
IT WON'T COME OFF.
WHAT?
IT WON'T COME OFF.
OH, MY GOD.
RACH, ARE YOU SURE?
NO. ACTUALLY, I TOOK IT OFF AND THEN I DREW IT BACK ON.
HEY, HEY! YOU MADE IT!
JOEY! HEY, HEY!
HI.
WHO'S YOUR FRIEND? HE'S HOT.
THANKS, MAN.
HEY, LISTEN, I TALKED TO CHANDLER.
I'M SORRY ABOUT THE MOVIE.
DON'T BE SORRY.
I DON'T NEED IT ANYMORE.
I FOUND MY IDENTICAL HAND TWIN.
YOUR WHAT?
MY IDENTICAL HAND TWIN.
YEAH, THE PERSON WHOSE HANDS ARE EXACTLY LIKE MINE.
THIS THING IS A GOLD MINE.
WHAT?
WHA…? HOW…?
THAT'S NOT GOING TO MAKE YOU ANY MONEY.
OKAY. WELL, IF THAT'S HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT IT, FINE.
NONE OF YOU ARE GOING TO GET TO LIVE WITH ME
IN MY GREAT BIG HAND-SHAPED MANSION.
'CEPT YOU, PHEEBS.
YOU CAN LIVE IN THE THUMB.
ALL RIGHT, BABY, COME ON!
YES! YES! YES!
I AM ON FIRE!
SEE YOU LATER, MON.
CHANDLER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE? I'M GOING HOME.
WAIT. WHY?
CHANDLER?
CHANDLER, LOOK.
I'M SORRY.
I WAS JUST PLAYING FOR ONE SECOND.
I WAS TRYING TO FIND YOU AND TELL YOU THAT…
LOOK, IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO SEE RICHARD AGAIN, I WON'T.
HE MEANS NOTHING TO ME.
OH, COME ON.
I WAS THERE.
I KNOW HE'S THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.
NOT ANYMORE.
REALLY?
REALLY.
ALL RIGHT?
LET'S FORGET ABOUT THIS "GOING HOME" STUFF
AND START CELEBRATING OUR ANNIVERSARY.
OKAY, THIS IS EMPTY.
YEAH, I WANTED TO MAKE A DRAMATIC SCENE
BUT I HATE PACKING.
UH, HEY, WHERE'S THE OTHER GUY?
WHICH GUY?
HE'S KIND OF TALL, DARK HAIR
HAND LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE THIS, SEE?
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE HANDS
BUT THE GUY WHO WAS HERE BEFORE ME
JUST WENT TO THE RESTROOM.
OKAY.
HOW YOU DOING?
VERY BUSY.
ALL RIGHT! OKAY!
YES, HELLO, I HAVE A QUESTION.
UM, I USED YOUR PEN TO DRAW ON MY FRIEND'S FACE.
A BEARD AND A MUSTACHE.
THANK YOU.
NO, SHE DIDN'T THINK SO.
I KNOW. IT'S, LIKE…
ANYWAY, UM…
MAKEUP DIDN'T COVER IT AND WE'VE TRIED EVERYTHING
TO GET IT OFF AND NOTHING'S WORKED.
WHAT DO WE DO?
YEAH.
UH-HUH… YEAH.
OH, OKAY.
OKAY, THANK YOU.
YEAH, IT'S NOT COMING OFF.
WHAT?
WHAT ELSE DID HE SAY?
UM, HE SAID HE THOUGHT I WAS FUNNY, SO…
OKAY, LOOK, LOOK, LET'S JUST GO DOWNSTAIRS, WE'LL HAVE SOME FUN
AND YOU WILL FORGET ALL ABOUT IT.
ROSS, NO!
THERE IS NO WAY I AM LEAVING THIS ROOM LOOKING LIKE THIS.
OH, COME ON, RACH, IT'S NOT THAT BAD.
ROSS, I AM A HUMAN DOODLE!
LOOK, JUST BECAUSE SOME IDIOT DREW ON YOUR FACE
DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE ANY FUN, OKAY?
BESIDES… HEY, HEY, HEY
NO ONE'S GOING TO EVEN LOOK AT YOU, OKAY?
THIS IS VEGAS, HELLO?
THERE ARE TONS OF OTHER FREAKS HERE.
THERE ARE TONS OF FREAKS HERE, NO OTHER.
COME ON. NO ONE WILL NOTICE, I SWEAR.
COME ON.
OKAY, THERE WAS SOME STARING AND POINTING.
OKAY, I NEED, I NEED A DRINK.
HEY, YOU KNOW, THEY REALLY OVERCHARGE YOU
FOR THAT STUFF.
BUT WHO CARES, BECAUSE IT'S ALL ON ME.
THAT IS ONE BIG DRINK.
MACADAMIA NUT?
UM, WOW!
THAT'S, THAT'S SOME PRICEY NUT.
MM.
YOU REALLY LIKE THOSE MACADAMIA NUTS, HUH?
NOPE.
GET OUT OF HERE, YOU LURKER!
GO ON, GET!
HEY, PHEEBS.
YOU MADE UP.
YEAH, I COULDN'T BE MAD AT HIM FOR TOO LONG.
YEAH, SHE COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT THE CHAND-LOVE.
OKAY, GET A ROOM.
WE HAVE ONE.
I KNOW. USE IT.
OH, YEAH.
THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU TAKE GOOD CARE OF THOSE BABIES.
EXCUSE ME?
IT'S ME, JOEY.
DO I KNOW YOU?
JOEY…
OH, YEAH.
YEAH, THE HAND GUY.
OKAY, SO, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO
ABOUT THIS HAND TWIN THING?
NOTHING.
LOOK, YOU AND I HAVE BEEN GIVEN A GIFT, OKAY?
WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING WITH IT
LIKE HAND MODELING, HUH?
OR MAGIC.
AND YOU KNOW NASA's GOING TO WANT TO TALK TO US.
I HAVE TO GET BACK TO WORK.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
WE COULD HAVE OUR OWN SHOW, YOU KNOW?
WE COULD CLAP OUR HANDS TOGETHER.
PEOPLE WILL LOVE IT
HUH?
AND I WROTE A SONG FOR US.
SEE?
THAT'S OKAY.
BUT YOU HAVEN'T EVEN HEARD THE CHORUS!
OH, MY GOD.
I'M STARTING TO LOOK LIKE MY GREAT-AUNT MURIEL.
ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT?
WE DON'T HAVE TO GO DOWNSTAIRS.
WE CAN BRING VEGAS UP TO US.
ALL RIGHT, COME ON. COME ON.
LET'S GO. WE'LL PLAY SOME BLACKJACK.
HERE WE GO. 13.
HIT ME.
OOH, 23.
WHICH IS WHAT WE PLAY TO AT THIS CASINO.
YOU WIN TEN DOLLARS.
I BET $20.
RIGHT.
A NEW PAIR OF SHOES FOR THE CHAN-CHAN MAN.
YES!
I'VE NEVER SEEN A ROLL LIKE THIS IN MY LIFE!
THAT'S RIGHT, BABY!
OKAY, WHAT DO I WANT NOW?
OKAY, UH, AN EIGHT.
UH, A SIX.
PICK A NUMBER!
THAT IS YOUR ONLY JOB!
EIGHT, EIGHT.
THANK YOU.
OKAY, IF YOU GET THIS ONE
WE BUY EVERYBODY HERE A STEAK DINNER.
EIGHT AGAIN.
YES! YES!
WE AREN'T REALLY GOING
TO BUY THESE PEOPLE STEAK DINNERS, ARE WE?
NO.
OKAY, GOOD.
OKAY, WHAT DO I WANT NOW?
UH, TRY A HARD EIGHT.
WHAT? TWO FOURS.
OKAY.
EIGHT THE HARD WAY.
YES!
DON'T YOU LET HER GO.
YOU'RE A LUCKY GUY.
THANK YOU, MR. DRUNKEN GAMBLER.
OKAY, YOU GET THIS
AND WE GET THE BIGGEST SUITE IN THE PLACE.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
WE GET THE BIGGEST SUITE IN THE PLACE.
ALL RIGHT, THE BIGGEST SUITE IN THE PLACE.
COME ON.
YES! I LOVE YOU!
I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT WE WERE FIGHTING ABOUT.
THAT'S 'CAUSE I HAD LUNCH WITH RI…
ME, NEITHER!
OKAY, WHAT DO I WANT NOW?
ANOTHER HARD EIGHT.
"HARD EIGHT"?
YOU SHOULD CALL IT "EASY EIGHT."
OKAY, OKAY, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
YOU ROLL ANOTHER HARD EIGHT…
AND WE GET MARRIED HERE TONIGHT.
COME ON, ROLL!
SHUT UP!
IT JUST GOT INTERESTING!
WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?
YOU ROLL ANOTHER HARD EIGHT
AND WE GET MARRIED HERE TONIGHT.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
YES. I LOVE YOU.
I'VE NEVER LOVED ANYBODY AS MUCH AS I LOVE YOU.
OKAY, SO IF AN EIGHT COMES UP
WE TAKE IT AS A SIGN AND WE DO IT.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
OKAY!
OKAY.
HARD EIGHT.
OKAY, THAT'S A FOUR!
AND WHERE… WHERE… WHERE'S THE OTHER ONE?
IT WENT UNDER THE TABLE.
NOBODY MOVE!
OKAY, YOU LOOK THAT WAY, I'LL LOOK THIS WAY!
HERE IT IS. HERE IT IS.
THAT COULD BE A FOUR OR A FIVE.
IT'S YOUR CALL.
IT'S A FOUR.
I THINK SO, TOO.
OH, WELL. LOST AGAIN.
THAT'S IT!
YOU AND ME, OUTSIDE!
I WOULDN'T WANT TO SEE YOU LOSE
A CHUNK OF THAT PRETTY BLOND HAIR.
OH!
BE COOL. BE COOL.
OKAY, LADY, YOUR LURKING DAYS ARE OVER.
WHAT? YEAH.
FROM NOW ON, EVERYONE YOU LURK
I'M GOING TO LURK FIRST.
IF YOU MOVE ON TO SOMEONE ELSE
I'M GOING TO BE ONE STEP AHEAD OF YOU
EVERY SINGLE TIME.
AND THEN I'LL BE ON YOUR ASS EVERY HOUR OF EVERY DAY…
TILL MONDAY.
'CAUSE THAT'S WHEN I GO HOME.
WHEN DO YOU LEAVE?
ALSO MONDAY.
WHAT TIME?
MAYBE WE CAN SHARE A CAB.
HIT ME.
WE NEED MORE CARDS.
YEAH, AND WE ALSO NEED MORE, UM, DRINKS.
HOLD ON A SECOND.
WOOP. OKAY.
HELLO, VEGAS? YEAH.
WE WOULD LIKE SOME MORE ALCOHOL AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?
WE WOULD LIKE SOME MORE BEERS.
WHA…? HELLO?
OH, I FORGOT TO DIAL.
THAT MUST BE OUR ALCOHOL AND BEERS.
HEY. HEY, IT'S JOEY!
I LOVE JOEY!
OH, I LOVE JOEY!
OH, JOEY LIVES WITH A DUCK.
HI!
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, YOU GUYS.
I NEED SOME HELP, OKAY?
SOMEONE HAS GOT TO HELP ME
CONVINCE MY HAND TWIN TO COOPERATE.
I'LL DO IT.
HEY, WHATEVER YOU NEED ME TO DO, I'M YOUR MAN.
HEY.
WHOA… WHOA… WHOA.
ARE YOU… ARE YOU OKAY?
YEAH. FINE. THANKS.
HEY, RACH.
HOW YOU DOIN'?
I'M DOIN' GOOD, BABY. HOW YOU DOIN'?
YEAH.
ROSS, DON'T LET HER DRINK ANYMORE.
OH…
HERE'S THAT MACADAMIA NUT.
OH.
NOPE. SOMETHING ELSE.
OOPS.
ALL RIGHT, SO WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO NOW?
I WANT TO GET OUT OF THE ROOM.
I… YOU KNOW, I…
I REALLY MISS DOWNSTAIRS.
MMM.
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY I AM LEAVING THIS HOTEL ROOM.
WELL, HELLO.
HI. WELCOME TO VEGAS.
I'M ROSS.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU.
EXCUSE ME, SIR.
YOU'VE GOT A LITTLE SOMETHING RIGHT…
OH. WOW.
HELLO.
NO! OH!
WHOO!
I WON!
I WON! I FINALLY WON!
I WON! THAT WAS MY QUARTER!
HERE. TAKE A HIKE, TOOTS.
EXCUSE ME, SIR.
THIS LADY PLAYED MY QUARTER.
THIS IS MY MONEY.
IS THAT TRUE, MISS?
UM… SELLS DRUGS TO KIDS.
WHAT?
SHE SELLS DRUGS TO KIDS.
IT WAS MY QUARTER.
WAS IT HER QUARTER?
HOW ABOUT WE TALK ABOUT THIS OVER DINNER, HUH?
OKAY, LADY, YOU'RE OUT OF HERE.
NO, NO, YOU CAN'T ARREST ME!
NO, I WON'T GO BACK! I WON'T GO BACK TO THAT HELLHOLE!
I'M JUST TAKING YOU OUTSIDE.
OH, OKAY.
OKAY, COME ON, I CAN'T GET MARRIED
UNTIL I GET SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW
SOMETHING BORROWED AND SOMETHING BLUE.
OKAY, OKAY.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. OKAY.
OKAY, HERE'S SOMETHING BLUE AND NEW.
YOU ARE SO EFFICIENT.
I LOVE YOU.
LET'S GO.
NO, NO, NO, WAIT!
WE NEED SOMETHING OLD.
UH, OKAY… I HAVE A CONDOM IN MY WALLET
THAT I'VE HAD SINCE I WAS 12.
THAT'LL WORK.
I DON'T THINK SO.
OKAY, NOW WE JUST NEED SOMETHING BORROWED.
HERE, JUST TAKE THIS.
THAT'S STEALING.
WE'LL… WE'LL BRING IT BACK.
JUST PUT IT UNDER YOUR DRESS.
AW.
OKAY, ONE THING AT A TIME.
ARE YOU GOING TO PLAY?
NO, NO. I DON'T REALLY HAVE ANY MONEY.
NOT YET, ANYWAY. HUH?
CAN'T SIT HERE IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO PLAY.
ALL RIGHT.
OH, YEAH.
OH, HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO.
OH…
HELLO.
MY NAME IS REGINA FILANGIE.
I'M A BUSINESSWOMAN IN TOWN ON BUSINESS.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE MY CARD?
OH, WHAT DID I DO WITH MY FILOFAX?
I MUST'VE LEFT IT IN CONFERENCE ROOM "B."
FOURTEEN.
HIT ME.
OH, MY GOD.
MAY I JUST SAY THAT YOU TWO GENTLEMEN
HAVE THE EXACT SAME HANDS?
THEY'RE IDENTICAL.
NOW, I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THAT IN THE BUSINESS WORLD.
STOP IT.
MISS FILANGIE?
MAY I ASK YOU A QUESTION
AS AN IMPARTIAL PERSON AT THIS TABLE?
PLEASE STOP IT.
HUH… UH, WOULDN'T YOU PAY GOOD MONEY
TO SEE THESE IDENTICAL HANDS SHOWCASED
IN SOME TYPE OF A, UH, ENTERTAINMENT VENUE, HUH?
IF YOU LEAVE NOW, I WILL CHOP OFF MY HAND AND GIVE IT TO YOU.
DIDN'T I JUST THROW YOU OUT OF HERE?
NO, YOU THREW OUT PHOEBE.
I'M REGINA FILANGIE.
FILANGIE.
COME ON, LADY.
PLEASE… PLEASE TAKE HIM, TOO.
ME? OH, COME ON, MAN.
FORGET ABOUT IT, BUDDY. COME ON.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
DON'T LET HIM DO THIS! COME ON!
I'M YOUR HAND TWIN!
HELLO. ONE MARRIAGE, PLEASE.
YEP. WE WANT TO GET MARRIED.
WELL, THERE'S A SERVICE IN PROGRESS.
HAVE A SEAT.
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
UH, THAT'S "THE WEDDING MARCH."
DOES THAT FREAK YOU OUT?
NO, ONLY BECAUSE IT'S THE GRADUATION SONG.
OKAY, THIS IS IT.
WE'RE GOING TO GET MARRIED.
ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS?
WELL, HELLO, MRS. ROSS.
WOO-HOO! WELL, HELLO, MR. RACHEL.
WAIT! OKAY.