1 00:00:01,072 --> 00:00:02,740 HUH? IT'S LIKE, UH… 2 00:00:02,823 --> 00:00:05,035 IN A WAY YOU, YOU COMPLETE ME. 3 00:00:05,118 --> 00:00:06,161 YOU KNOW? 4 00:00:08,413 --> 00:00:09,331 KITCHEN. 5 00:00:09,414 --> 00:00:10,332 WHAT? 6 00:00:10,415 --> 00:00:13,042 YOU COMPLETE ME KITCHEN, MATEY. 7 00:00:14,461 --> 00:00:17,089 ROSS, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. 8 00:00:17,172 --> 00:00:18,716 WHAT? 9 00:00:18,799 --> 00:00:20,676 THAT SHE'S GOING TO MOVE IN WITH YOU 10 00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:22,928 AND THEN MAYBE SHE'LL FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU 11 00:00:23,011 --> 00:00:25,389 AND THEN, WHEN SHE FINDS OUT YOU'RE ALREADY MARRIED 12 00:00:25,472 --> 00:00:27,349 OH, SHE'LL JUST BE HAPPY, YOU KNOW? 13 00:00:27,432 --> 00:00:29,017 YOU'RE JUST… YOU'RE VERY SAD. 14 00:00:29,100 --> 00:00:32,771 OH… MY… GOD. 15 00:00:32,854 --> 00:00:35,190 I… I SEE WHAT THIS IS. 16 00:00:35,273 --> 00:00:39,027 YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH RACHEL. 17 00:00:39,110 --> 00:00:40,862 WHAT? OF COURSE. 18 00:00:40,945 --> 00:00:43,823 IT ALL ADDS UP. I MEAN, YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH HER. 19 00:00:43,906 --> 00:00:45,867 IT'S ALWAYS, "ROSS, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT RACHEL?" 20 00:00:45,950 --> 00:00:48,370 "ROSS, WHY ARE YOU MOVING IN WITH RACHEL?" 21 00:00:48,453 --> 00:00:49,538 "WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO CONFESS 22 00:00:49,621 --> 00:00:51,123 YOUR SECRET MARRIAGE TO RACHEL?" 23 00:00:51,206 --> 00:00:53,667 YOU WANT HER. 24 00:00:53,750 --> 00:00:54,710 NO! 25 00:00:54,793 --> 00:00:58,797 UH. OH, SAVED BY THE BELL. 26 00:00:58,880 --> 00:00:59,964 HELLO? 27 00:01:01,383 --> 00:01:02,635 HEY, RACH, 28 00:01:02,718 --> 00:01:04,177 AREN'T THESE CANDLESTICKS MINE? 29 00:01:04,260 --> 00:01:05,679 NO, NO, I BOUGHT THOSE. 30 00:01:05,762 --> 00:01:07,389 OH, RIGHT. I FORGOT… 31 00:01:07,472 --> 00:01:08,974 YEAH. 32 00:01:09,057 --> 00:01:11,727 THAT YOU'RE A LIAR. 33 00:01:11,810 --> 00:01:12,894 NO, NO. 34 00:01:12,977 --> 00:01:13,895 THAT'S GREAT. 35 00:01:13,978 --> 00:01:15,439 I'LL BE THERE MONDAY. 36 00:01:15,522 --> 00:01:17,650 AND THANK YOU AGAIN. OKAY. 37 00:01:17,733 --> 00:01:22,321 UM, THAT WAS THE HEAD OF THE PALEONTOLOGY DEPARTMENT 38 00:01:22,404 --> 00:01:26,492 AT "N"… UH, "Y"… UH, "U." 39 00:01:26,575 --> 00:01:31,747 WOW. UH, WHAT… DID HE… UH, SAY? 40 00:01:31,830 --> 00:01:35,334 WELL, REMEMBER THAT PAPER I HAD PUBLISHED LAST YEAR ON SEDIMENT 41 00:01:35,417 --> 00:01:37,252 FLOW RATE? HUH? THEY LOVED IT. 42 00:01:37,335 --> 00:01:39,087 WELL, WHO WOULDN'T? 43 00:01:40,129 --> 00:01:41,130 I KNOW. 44 00:01:43,049 --> 00:01:45,344 ANYWAY, THEY ASKED ME TO BE A GUEST LECTURER. 45 00:01:45,427 --> 00:01:48,054 I MEAN, IT'S TEMPORARY, BUT, IF THEY LIKE ME 46 00:01:48,137 --> 00:01:50,223 IT COULD LEAD TO A FULL-TIME JOB. 47 00:01:50,306 --> 00:01:53,310 HOW GREAT WOULD THAT LOOK ON THE MAILBOX, HUH? 48 00:01:53,393 --> 00:01:54,478 PROFESSOR GELLER. 49 00:01:54,561 --> 00:01:56,062 YEAH, PROFESSOR AND MRS. 50 00:01:58,231 --> 00:01:59,608 AND MRS.? 51 00:01:59,691 --> 00:02:01,401 UH… 52 00:02:01,484 --> 00:02:03,737 OH, YEAH. YOU KNOW, YOU AND ROSS ARE STILL MARRIED. 53 00:02:05,071 --> 00:02:06,490 WHAT? 54 00:02:06,573 --> 00:02:08,825 JUST KIDDING. 55 00:02:11,787 --> 00:02:12,871 OH, GOD! 56 00:02:12,954 --> 00:02:14,832 CAN YOU IMAGINE? 57 00:02:14,915 --> 00:02:15,957 NO! 58 00:02:17,041 --> 00:02:18,835 SAVED YOUR ASS. 59 00:02:57,248 --> 00:02:58,417 HI. 60 00:02:58,500 --> 00:02:59,626 HI. 61 00:02:59,709 --> 00:03:01,169 OH, WHAT'S THE MATTER? 62 00:03:01,252 --> 00:03:05,006 WELL… YOU KNOW THAT PSYCHIC I SEE? YEAH. 63 00:03:05,089 --> 00:03:07,634 WELL, SHE TOLD ME THAT I'M GOING TO DIE THIS WEEK, SO I'M KIND OF 64 00:03:07,717 --> 00:03:10,637 BUMMED ABOUT THAT. WHAT? 65 00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:11,847 YEAH, AND I KNOW YOU GUYS DON'T KNOW 66 00:03:11,930 --> 00:03:13,098 A LOT ABOUT PSYCHIC READINGS 67 00:03:13,181 --> 00:03:14,516 BUT THAT ONE IS PRETTY MUCH 68 00:03:14,599 --> 00:03:16,017 THE WORST ONE YOU CAN GET. 69 00:03:17,393 --> 00:03:18,854 PHOEBE, THAT'S CRAZY. 70 00:03:18,937 --> 00:03:20,480 I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE WOULD SAY THAT TO YOU. 71 00:03:20,563 --> 00:03:22,482 YEAH, HONEY, YOU DON'T BELIEVE HER, DO YOU? 72 00:03:22,565 --> 00:03:23,942 I DON'T KNOW. 73 00:03:24,025 --> 00:03:25,944 SHE, YOU KNOW, SAID THAT I'D HAVE TRIPLETS. 74 00:03:26,027 --> 00:03:28,488 BUT SHE ALSO SAID ONE OF THEM WOULD BE BLACK. 75 00:03:29,990 --> 00:03:31,324 JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY, 76 00:03:31,407 --> 00:03:33,034 DID SHE TELL YOU HOW YOU'RE GOING TO GO? 77 00:03:33,117 --> 00:03:34,494 NO, 'CAUSE SHE DIDN'T TELL ME I WAS GOING TO DIE 78 00:03:34,577 --> 00:03:36,204 TILL THE VERY END OF THE SESSION 79 00:03:36,287 --> 00:03:38,791 AND I WAS NOT GOING TO WASTE A WHOLE OTHER HOUR THERE. 80 00:03:38,874 --> 00:03:40,834 I MEAN, I'VE ONLY GOT A WEEK LEFT, YOU KNOW? 81 00:03:40,917 --> 00:03:43,753 I'VE REALLY GOT TO START LIVING NOW. 82 00:03:47,089 --> 00:03:48,007 HEY, EVERYONE. 83 00:03:48,090 --> 00:03:49,509 OH, HI. 84 00:03:49,592 --> 00:03:52,262 HEY, UH, WELL, TODAY'S MY FIRST LECTURE 85 00:03:52,345 --> 00:03:54,306 AND I KIND OF WANTED TO TRY IT OUT ON YOU GUYS. 86 00:03:54,389 --> 00:03:55,389 DO YOU MIND? 87 00:03:57,392 --> 00:03:59,519 NO, THAT'D BE GREAT. OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 88 00:03:59,602 --> 00:04:00,646 SURE. 89 00:04:00,729 --> 00:04:02,772 OKAY. 90 00:04:09,738 --> 00:04:12,407 "THERE ARE THREE PRIMARY THEORIES 91 00:04:12,490 --> 00:04:14,534 "CONCERNING SEDIMENT FLOW RATE. 92 00:04:14,617 --> 00:04:18,288 "EACH OF THESE THEORIES CAN BE FURTHER SUBCATEGORIZED…" 93 00:04:18,371 --> 00:04:22,291 OH, THIS IS IT. THIS IS WHAT'S GOING TO KILL ME. 94 00:04:25,754 --> 00:04:27,798 "THE FIRST OF THESE SUBCATEGORIES… 95 00:04:27,881 --> 00:04:29,466 UH, ROSS. 96 00:04:29,549 --> 00:04:32,594 ARE THERE, UH, ARE THERE NAKED CHICKS ON THAT PIECE OF PAPER? 97 00:04:34,930 --> 00:04:36,348 NO. WHY? 98 00:04:36,431 --> 00:04:38,183 WELL, I JUST NEVER SEEN A GUY STARE SO HARD 99 00:04:38,266 --> 00:04:40,602 AT A PIECE OF PAPER THAT DIDN'T HAVE NAKED CHICKS ON IT. 100 00:04:40,685 --> 00:04:42,855 OH. 101 00:04:42,938 --> 00:04:44,481 OKAY. 102 00:04:44,564 --> 00:04:45,815 OKAY. 103 00:04:48,276 --> 00:04:50,236 "THERE ARE THREE… 104 00:04:50,319 --> 00:04:51,529 "PRIMARY THEORIES… 105 00:04:53,155 --> 00:04:56,158 "CONCERNING SEDIMENT FLOW RATE. 106 00:04:58,286 --> 00:04:59,663 "EACH OF THESE 107 00:04:59,746 --> 00:05:02,708 "THEORIES CAN BE FURTHER SUBCATEGORIZED… 108 00:05:02,791 --> 00:05:04,584 "INTO… 109 00:05:04,667 --> 00:05:06,753 WHY DON'T YOU OPEN WITH A JOKE? 110 00:05:08,212 --> 00:05:09,756 OPEN WITH A JOKE? 111 00:05:09,839 --> 00:05:11,884 IT'S A UNIVERSITY, NOT A COMEDY CLUB. 112 00:05:11,967 --> 00:05:14,678 WELL, WAIT A MINUTE. HOLD THE PHONE. 113 00:05:14,761 --> 00:05:17,055 YOU'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT CHUCKLES UNIVERSITY? 114 00:05:18,306 --> 00:05:19,432 OKAY. 115 00:05:19,515 --> 00:05:20,642 WE'RE KIDDING. COME ON. 116 00:05:20,725 --> 00:05:21,935 ROSS, HEY, YOU KNOW 117 00:05:22,018 --> 00:05:23,395 WHAT MIGHT MAKE IT LESS BORING? 118 00:05:23,478 --> 00:05:25,397 THANK YOU. 119 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,774 SOME, UM, SOME VISUAL AIDS. 120 00:05:27,857 --> 00:05:29,651 OOH-OOH! YOU KNOW WHAT'S A GOOD VISUAL AID? 121 00:05:29,734 --> 00:05:31,653 PLEASE DON'T SAY "NAKED CHICKS." 122 00:05:31,736 --> 00:05:33,572 WHY NOT? 123 00:05:33,655 --> 00:05:35,281 YOU KNOW, I DON'T EVEN KNOW 124 00:05:35,364 --> 00:05:38,451 WHY I BOTHER TO EVEN TALK TO YOU GUYS ABOUT IT, YOU KNOW? 125 00:05:38,534 --> 00:05:41,329 I'M JUST GOING TO DO IT ON MY OWN WITH NO NAKED CHICKS. 126 00:05:41,412 --> 00:05:44,290 THAT'S THE WAY I DID IT UNTIL I WAS 19. 127 00:05:49,545 --> 00:05:51,048 HI. HEY. 128 00:05:51,131 --> 00:05:52,674 ANY GOOD MAIL? 129 00:05:52,757 --> 00:05:54,259 YES. YOU GOT SOMETHING FROM THE SCREEN ACTORS GUILD. 130 00:05:54,342 --> 00:05:56,053 OOH. IT'S PROBABLY A RESIDUAL CHECK. 131 00:05:56,136 --> 00:05:59,139 HEY, CAN YOU OPEN IT FOR ME? I GOT A… 132 00:06:00,431 --> 00:06:02,601 "BENEFITS LAPSED." 133 00:06:02,684 --> 00:06:04,019 HMM. THAT'S WEIRD. 134 00:06:04,102 --> 00:06:05,478 I DON'T REMEMBER BEING IN A MOVIE CALLED 135 00:06:05,561 --> 00:06:06,561 "BENEFITS LAPSED." 136 00:06:07,563 --> 00:06:09,357 IT'S NOT A CHECK. 137 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:12,945 THEY'RE SAYING YOUR HEALTH INSURANCE EXPIRED BECAUSE… 138 00:06:13,028 --> 00:06:14,529 YOU DIDN'T WORK ENOUGH LAST YEAR. 139 00:06:14,612 --> 00:06:15,530 LET ME SEE THAT. 140 00:06:15,613 --> 00:06:17,449 ALL RIGHT. 141 00:06:17,532 --> 00:06:19,116 OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. 142 00:06:19,199 --> 00:06:21,453 THIS SUCKS. 143 00:06:21,536 --> 00:06:24,873 WHEN I HAD INSURANCE, I COULD GET HIT BY A BUS OR… 144 00:06:24,956 --> 00:06:26,499 OR CATCH ON FIRE, YOU KNOW? 145 00:06:26,582 --> 00:06:28,043 AND IT WOULDN'T MATTER. 146 00:06:28,126 --> 00:06:29,962 NOW I GOT TO BE CAREFUL? 147 00:06:30,045 --> 00:06:32,005 I'M SORRY, MAN. 148 00:06:32,088 --> 00:06:34,215 THERE'S NEVER A GOOD TIME TO HAVE TO… 149 00:06:34,298 --> 00:06:36,009 STOP CATCHING ON FIRE. 150 00:06:37,719 --> 00:06:39,805 ALL RIGHT, WELL… I GUESS I GOT TO GO GET A JOB. 151 00:06:39,888 --> 00:06:41,180 I'M GOING TO GO SEE MY AGENT. 152 00:06:41,263 --> 00:06:42,849 OKAY, AND MAKE SURE TO LOOK BOTH WAYS 153 00:06:42,932 --> 00:06:44,559 BEFORE YOU CROSS THE STREET. 154 00:06:44,642 --> 00:06:47,104 MAKE SURE TO LOOK BOTH WAYS 155 00:06:47,187 --> 00:06:48,855 BEFORE YOU CROSS THE STREET. 156 00:06:55,153 --> 00:06:56,195 HEY. 157 00:06:56,278 --> 00:06:58,280 HEY, PHEEBS, YOU'RE STILL ALIVE. 158 00:07:00,033 --> 00:07:01,827 HOW ARE YOU FEELING? 159 00:07:01,910 --> 00:07:04,997 OH, IT'S SO EXHAUSTING WAITING FOR DEATH. 160 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:07,623 OH, BY THE WAY, DO YOU THINK… 161 00:07:11,252 --> 00:07:12,545 PHEEBS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 162 00:07:12,628 --> 00:07:14,840 I WAS PREPARING YOU FOR MY DE… 163 00:07:14,923 --> 00:07:16,633 DIDN'T YOU THINK I WAS DEAD? 164 00:07:16,716 --> 00:07:18,010 DID THAT NOT COME OFF? 165 00:07:18,093 --> 00:07:20,095 NO. YEAH, SCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME. 166 00:07:20,178 --> 00:07:22,514 I THOUGHT WE'D LOST YOU FOREVER. 167 00:07:22,597 --> 00:07:24,099 PHEEBS, YOU WANT TO LIE DOWN? 168 00:07:24,182 --> 00:07:25,809 YEAH. THANKS. 169 00:07:25,892 --> 00:07:28,520 AND, LISTEN, CAN YOU DO ME A FAVOR? 170 00:07:28,603 --> 00:07:31,106 CAN YOU JUST, UH, WAKE ME UP IN A COUPLE HOURS… 171 00:07:31,189 --> 00:07:32,440 YOU KNOW, IF YOU CAN? 172 00:07:36,152 --> 00:07:37,570 MONICA… 173 00:07:40,615 --> 00:07:42,367 DID-DID YOU TAKE THESE BACK? 174 00:07:42,450 --> 00:07:44,703 NO, NO. I JUST… I LIKED THEM SO MUCH 175 00:07:44,786 --> 00:07:47,413 THAT I WENT OUT AND BOUGHT SOME FOR MYSELF. 176 00:07:47,496 --> 00:07:49,875 OH. YEAH, THEY'RE REALLY GREAT, AREN'T THEY? 177 00:07:49,958 --> 00:07:51,459 I LOVE THEM. 178 00:07:51,542 --> 00:07:52,544 YEAH. 179 00:07:52,627 --> 00:07:53,753 NICE TRY. 180 00:07:56,338 --> 00:07:57,340 HELLO. 181 00:07:57,423 --> 00:07:58,717 HEY. HOW'D THE LECTURE GO? 182 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:00,719 IT WENT GREAT. 183 00:08:00,802 --> 00:08:05,140 AND I DIDN'T NEED ANY JOKES OR NAKED CHICKS EITHER. 184 00:08:05,223 --> 00:08:06,850 WOW. THAT'S GREAT, ROSS. 185 00:08:06,933 --> 00:08:08,393 I'M SORRY WE WEREN'T MORE SUPPORTIVE BEFORE. 186 00:08:08,476 --> 00:08:10,062 I KNEW ALL I HAD TO DO WAS LET 187 00:08:10,145 --> 00:08:11,813 THE MATERIAL SPEAK FOR ITSELF, HUH? 188 00:08:11,896 --> 00:08:13,190 EVERYONE'S ALL, UH 189 00:08:13,273 --> 00:08:15,316 "ROSS, YOU HAVE TO BE FUNNY AND SEXY." 190 00:08:15,399 --> 00:08:17,360 WELL, I PROVED THEM WRONG. 191 00:08:17,443 --> 00:08:19,029 AND NOW, 192 00:08:19,112 --> 00:08:21,406 I'M GOING TO PASS THE NEWS ON TO JOEY AND CHANDLER. 193 00:08:21,489 --> 00:08:22,866 THAT YOU'RE NOT FUNNY OR SEXY? 194 00:08:22,949 --> 00:08:24,325 THAT'S RIGHT. 195 00:08:29,831 --> 00:08:32,042 HEY, ESTELLE, LISTEN… 196 00:08:32,125 --> 00:08:33,585 WELL, WELL, WELL. 197 00:08:33,668 --> 00:08:35,628 JOEY TRIBBIANI. 198 00:08:35,711 --> 00:08:37,923 SO YOU CAME BACK, HUH? 199 00:08:38,006 --> 00:08:39,925 THEY THINK THEY CAN DO BETTER 200 00:08:40,008 --> 00:08:43,678 BUT THEY ALL COME CRAWLING BACK TO ESTELLE. 201 00:08:45,180 --> 00:08:47,057 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 202 00:08:47,140 --> 00:08:48,474 I NEVER LEFT YOU. 203 00:08:48,557 --> 00:08:50,143 YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN MY AGENT. 204 00:08:50,226 --> 00:08:51,228 REALLY? 205 00:08:51,311 --> 00:08:52,437 YEAH. 206 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:53,772 OH, WELL. 207 00:08:53,855 --> 00:08:55,941 NO HARM, NO FOUL. 208 00:08:56,024 --> 00:08:57,192 LOOK, ESTELLE… 209 00:08:57,275 --> 00:08:58,735 YOU GOT TO GET ME SOME WORK. 210 00:08:58,818 --> 00:09:00,278 I LOST MY HEALTH INSURANCE. 211 00:09:00,361 --> 00:09:01,738 ALL RIGHT. 212 00:09:01,821 --> 00:09:04,991 FIRST THING WE GOT TO DO… DAMAGE CONTROL. WHY? 213 00:09:05,074 --> 00:09:07,452 WELL, I THINK, UH… 214 00:09:07,535 --> 00:09:09,829 SOMEONE OUT THERE… 215 00:09:09,912 --> 00:09:12,623 MAY HAVE BEEN BAD-MOUTHING YOU ALL OVER TOWN. 216 00:09:15,251 --> 00:09:16,251 THAT BASTARD! 217 00:09:23,718 --> 00:09:24,761 HI. 218 00:09:24,844 --> 00:09:26,221 HEY. 219 00:09:26,304 --> 00:09:27,722 SO ESTELLE 220 00:09:27,805 --> 00:09:30,058 LINED UP A BUNCH OF AUDITIONS FOR ME TOMORROW 221 00:09:30,141 --> 00:09:32,936 AND I'LL HAVE MY HEALTH INSURANCE BACK IN NO TIME. 222 00:09:33,019 --> 00:09:35,272 THAT'S GREAT, BUT… 223 00:09:35,355 --> 00:09:37,648 SHOULDN'T YOU BE ON THE TOILET RIGHT NOW? 224 00:09:40,484 --> 00:09:41,653 WHAT? 225 00:09:41,736 --> 00:09:43,655 WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? 226 00:09:43,738 --> 00:09:45,073 NOTHING. 227 00:09:45,156 --> 00:09:47,784 WELL, I GOT THIS BLINDING PAIN IN MY STOMACH 228 00:09:47,867 --> 00:09:49,869 WHEN I WAS LIFTING WEIGHTS BEFORE 229 00:09:49,952 --> 00:09:51,537 AND THEN I, UH, PASSED OUT 230 00:09:51,620 --> 00:09:53,873 AND, UH, I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO STAND UP SINCE. 231 00:09:55,708 --> 00:09:58,295 BUT, UH, I DON'T THINK IT'S ANYTHING SERIOUS, YOU KNOW? 232 00:09:58,378 --> 00:09:59,587 THIS SOUNDS LIKE A HERNIA. 233 00:09:59,670 --> 00:10:01,464 YOU HAVE TO… YOU GO TO THE DOCTOR. 234 00:10:01,547 --> 00:10:04,425 NO WAY. OKAY, LOOK, IF I'M GOING TO GO TO THE DOCTOR FOR ANYTHING 235 00:10:04,508 --> 00:10:07,303 IT'S GOING TO BE FOR THIS THING STICKING OUT OF MY STOMACH. 236 00:10:11,015 --> 00:10:12,725 THAT'S A HERNIA. 237 00:10:12,808 --> 00:10:15,812 WHY'D I HAVE TO START WORKING OUT AGAIN? 238 00:10:15,895 --> 00:10:17,855 DAMN YOU 15s! 239 00:10:21,734 --> 00:10:23,028 WELL, WE'RE A LITTLE EARLY. 240 00:10:23,111 --> 00:10:24,821 THE LECTURE DOESN'T END FOR 15 MINUTES. 241 00:10:24,904 --> 00:10:26,405 YEAH, BUT, YOU KNOW, WE COULD SNEAK IN AND WATCH. 242 00:10:26,488 --> 00:10:28,658 YEAH. OH, HEY, LOOK. 243 00:10:28,741 --> 00:10:30,327 THERE'S SOME KAPPA KAPPA DELTAS. 244 00:10:30,410 --> 00:10:31,828 I WAS A KAPPA. 245 00:10:31,911 --> 00:10:33,079 HEY, SISTERS. 246 00:10:35,790 --> 00:10:38,500 WOW. WE REALLY ARE BITCHES. 247 00:10:42,504 --> 00:10:44,257 RIGHT. SO WHEN RIGBY GOT HIS SAMPLES 248 00:10:44,340 --> 00:10:45,550 BACK FROM THE LABORATORY 249 00:10:45,633 --> 00:10:48,386 HE MADE A STARTLING DISCOVERY. 250 00:10:50,721 --> 00:10:54,767 WHAT HE BELIEVED TO BE IGNEOUS WAS, IN FACT, SEDIMENTARY. 251 00:10:56,269 --> 00:10:59,355 IMAGINE HIS CONSTERNATION WHEN… 252 00:11:03,109 --> 00:11:05,361 OH, BLOODY 'ELL. 253 00:11:10,158 --> 00:11:13,036 WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? 254 00:11:13,119 --> 00:11:14,746 LOOK, I WAS NERVOUS. 255 00:11:14,829 --> 00:11:17,540 YOU GUYS HAD ME ALL WORRIED I WAS GOING TO BE BORING. 256 00:11:17,623 --> 00:11:21,127 I GOT UP THERE AND THEY WERE ALL, LIKE, STARING AT ME. 257 00:11:21,210 --> 00:11:22,419 I OPENED MY MOUTH 258 00:11:22,502 --> 00:11:25,422 AND THIS BRITISH ACCENT JUST CAME OUT. 259 00:11:25,505 --> 00:11:28,301 YEAH, AND NOT A VERY GOOD ONE. 260 00:11:28,384 --> 00:11:31,054 WILL YOU PLEASE…? 261 00:11:31,137 --> 00:11:32,931 DR. GELLER, KURT RATHMAN. 262 00:11:33,014 --> 00:11:35,225 I'M A PROFESSOR IN THE PALEONTOLOGY DEPARTMENT HERE. 263 00:11:35,308 --> 00:11:37,769 DO YOU HAVE A MOMENT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR LECTURE? 264 00:11:37,852 --> 00:11:41,231 I'M SORRY, I'VE GOT PLANS WITH MY SISTER. 265 00:11:41,314 --> 00:11:43,691 MONICA GELLER-R-R-R… 266 00:11:45,818 --> 00:11:48,196 RIGHT. WILL YOU EXCUSE US FOR ONE MOMENT? 267 00:11:48,279 --> 00:11:49,989 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 268 00:11:50,072 --> 00:11:51,991 OH, YOU CAN HAVE AN ACCENT, BUT I CAN'T? 269 00:11:52,074 --> 00:11:55,494 TOP O' THE MORNIN' TO YE, LADDIES! 270 00:11:55,577 --> 00:11:57,789 WILL YOU JUST PLEASE STOP? 271 00:11:57,872 --> 00:12:00,583 YES, YES, BOMBAY IS 272 00:12:00,666 --> 00:12:03,127 VERY, VERY NICE THIS TIME OF YEAR. 273 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:21,103 HEY, WILL YOU GRAB ME A CRULLER? 274 00:12:23,398 --> 00:12:25,608 SIT DOWN! 275 00:12:25,691 --> 00:12:27,986 WILL YOU GO TO THE HOSPITAL? 276 00:12:28,069 --> 00:12:32,115 DUDE, HERNIA OPERATIONS COST, LIKE… A LOT, PROBABLY, OKAY? 277 00:12:32,198 --> 00:12:34,742 BESIDES, IT'S GETTING DARKER AND MORE PAINFUL. 278 00:12:34,825 --> 00:12:36,619 THAT MEANS IT'S HEALING. 279 00:12:36,702 --> 00:12:38,830 LOOK, I WILL LOAN YOU THE MONEY. 280 00:12:38,913 --> 00:12:42,875 JUST GO TO THE HOSPITAL, AND LET'S JUST GET THAT THING… 281 00:12:42,958 --> 00:12:45,211 PUSHED BACK IN? 282 00:12:45,294 --> 00:12:47,464 THANK YOU, BUT IT WOULD TAKE ME FOREVER 283 00:12:47,547 --> 00:12:49,466 TO PAY YOU THAT MONEY BACK, AND… 284 00:12:49,549 --> 00:12:51,508 I DON'T WANT THAT HANGING OVER MY HEAD, OKAY? 285 00:12:51,591 --> 00:12:53,594 AND BESIDES, AS SOON AS MY INSURANCE KICKS IN 286 00:12:53,677 --> 00:12:55,805 I CAN GET ALL THE FREE OPERATIONS I WANT, OKAY? 287 00:12:55,888 --> 00:12:59,683 I THINK I'LL PROBABLY START WITH THAT LASER EYE SURGERY THING. 288 00:13:01,227 --> 00:13:03,229 HEY… HEY. 289 00:13:03,312 --> 00:13:04,689 HEY… WHAT'S GOING ON? 290 00:13:04,772 --> 00:13:06,607 WELL, JOEY'S GOT A REALLY BAD HERNIA 291 00:13:06,690 --> 00:13:10,028 BUT IT'S NOTHING THAT A LITTLE LASER EYE SURGERY WON'T FIX, 292 00:13:10,111 --> 00:13:11,654 LOOK, I'M TELLING YOU… 293 00:13:11,737 --> 00:13:14,491 IF I PUT MY HAND ON MY STOMACH RIGHT HERE 294 00:13:14,574 --> 00:13:16,326 IT DOESN'T HURT THAT BAD. 295 00:13:16,409 --> 00:13:18,660 HEY! MAYBE YOU'LL DIE. 296 00:13:20,662 --> 00:13:22,623 CHANDLER, I'M SCARED. 297 00:13:22,706 --> 00:13:24,667 NO, WE CAN GO TOGETHER! 298 00:13:24,750 --> 00:13:26,585 JUST DON'T WAIT TOO LONG, THOUGH, OKAY? 299 00:13:26,668 --> 00:13:28,838 'CAUSE I'M OUT OF HERE SOMETIME BEFORE FRIDAY. 300 00:13:28,921 --> 00:13:31,508 YEAH, BUT I DON'T WANT TO DIE. 301 00:13:31,591 --> 00:13:33,051 NO, NO, IT'LL BE FUN. 302 00:13:33,134 --> 00:13:35,010 WE CAN COME BACK AND WE CAN HAUNT THESE GUYS. 303 00:13:40,849 --> 00:13:41,851 GIVE ME THEM! 304 00:13:41,934 --> 00:13:43,436 NO! THEY ARE MINE! 305 00:13:43,519 --> 00:13:45,522 YOU STOLE THEM FROM ME! YOU STOLE THEM FROM ME! 306 00:13:45,605 --> 00:13:47,982 GIVE ME THEM! GIVE ME THEM! 307 00:13:49,442 --> 00:13:51,444 YOU JUST WANT TO EACH TAKE ONE? 308 00:13:51,527 --> 00:13:55,490 YEAH, THAT SEEMS FAIR… WE NEVER USE THEM. 309 00:13:55,573 --> 00:13:59,118 LOOK, I REALLY NEED SOME HELP, OKAY? 310 00:13:59,201 --> 00:14:03,206 WHY, WHY DID I HAVE TO SPEAK IN A BRITISH ACCENT? 311 00:14:03,289 --> 00:14:04,790 WHAT DO WE DO? 312 00:14:04,873 --> 00:14:06,543 WELL… WHY DON'T YOU PHASE IT OUT? 313 00:14:06,626 --> 00:14:08,044 YEAH, PHASE THE ACCENT OUT… 314 00:14:08,127 --> 00:14:10,088 PEOPLE WILL THINK THAT, YOU'RE, YOU KNOW 315 00:14:10,171 --> 00:14:11,839 JUST ADJUSTING TO LIFE IN AMERICA. 316 00:14:11,922 --> 00:14:13,425 YEAH, COME ON, ROSS… 317 00:14:13,508 --> 00:14:15,009 NO ONE'LL EVEN NOTICE. 318 00:14:15,092 --> 00:14:17,094 I MEAN, THEY'RE PROBABLY NOT EVEN LISTENING TO YOU. 319 00:14:18,887 --> 00:14:20,639 THEY'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME? 320 00:14:20,722 --> 00:14:23,393 OF COURSE THEY'RE LISTENING TO YOU. 321 00:14:23,476 --> 00:14:25,311 EVERYBODY LISTENS TO YOU. 322 00:14:25,394 --> 00:14:27,397 MONICA, UH, YOU REALLY THINK I SHOULD TRY 323 00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:29,190 THIS "PHASING OUT" THING? 324 00:14:29,273 --> 00:14:30,983 I THINK YOU LOOK FINE. 325 00:14:34,654 --> 00:14:35,696 WHENEVER YOU'RE READY. 326 00:14:35,779 --> 00:14:37,198 OKAY. 327 00:14:38,324 --> 00:14:40,452 HEY, TIMMY… 328 00:14:40,535 --> 00:14:42,245 I'VE GOT A… 329 00:14:42,328 --> 00:14:44,456 SURPRISE… FOR YOU. 330 00:14:44,539 --> 00:14:46,374 HOLD IT, I'M SORRY. 331 00:14:46,457 --> 00:14:48,251 THE SURPRISE IS A NEW SWING SET. 332 00:14:48,334 --> 00:14:50,753 IF YOU COULD PLAY IT A LITTLE LESS INTENSE? 333 00:14:50,836 --> 00:14:52,755 YEAH, SURE. NO PROBLEM. 334 00:14:52,838 --> 00:14:55,257 UH, JUST HOLD ON ONE SECOND. 335 00:15:01,013 --> 00:15:03,641 HEY, TIMMY… 336 00:15:03,724 --> 00:15:07,312 I'VE GOT A SURPRISE FOR YOU. 337 00:15:07,395 --> 00:15:08,521 OH, MY GOD! 338 00:15:14,235 --> 00:15:18,197 …SO THAT'S WHY I FEED MY DOG PURINA ONE. 339 00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:20,408 PICK UP A BAG TODAY. 340 00:15:22,201 --> 00:15:23,578 THAT'S WHERE YOU PICK UP THE BAG. 341 00:15:23,661 --> 00:15:25,497 EXACTLY. 342 00:15:25,580 --> 00:15:30,042 NO, THE LINE IS "PICK UP A BAG," SO YOU NEED TO PICK UP THE BAG. 343 00:15:30,125 --> 00:15:31,127 OR… 344 00:15:31,210 --> 00:15:33,379 I COULD JUST POINT TO IT, HUH? 345 00:15:33,462 --> 00:15:35,590 "BLAH-BLAH-BLAH, PURINA ONE. 346 00:15:35,673 --> 00:15:39,677 POINT TO A BAG TODAY." 347 00:15:41,679 --> 00:15:43,640 I DIDN'T GET IT, DID I? 348 00:15:43,723 --> 00:15:46,475 NO. YEAH, OKAY. 349 00:15:49,645 --> 00:15:52,106 HI. I'M, UH, JOEY TRIBBIANI. 350 00:15:52,189 --> 00:15:54,149 I'M HERE TO AUDITION FOR "MAN." 351 00:15:55,568 --> 00:15:57,069 YOU MEAN "DYING MAN"? 352 00:15:57,152 --> 00:15:59,655 YES! 353 00:16:01,490 --> 00:16:02,741 OKAY, COME ON… DO IT ONE MORE TIME. REALLY? REALLY? 354 00:16:02,824 --> 00:16:04,535 YES! OKAY. 355 00:16:08,456 --> 00:16:10,291 HELLO, ROSS? THIS IS DR. McNEELY 356 00:16:10,374 --> 00:16:12,084 FROM THE FAKE ACCENT UNIVERSITY. 357 00:16:12,167 --> 00:16:15,671 WE'D LIKE YOU TO COME ONBOARD WITH US FULL-TIME. 358 00:16:18,549 --> 00:16:19,758 HEY! 359 00:16:19,841 --> 00:16:21,260 HEY! 360 00:16:21,343 --> 00:16:22,679 LISTEN TO THIS… 361 00:16:22,762 --> 00:16:24,889 MY READING WAS WRONG; I'M NOT GOING TO DIE. 362 00:16:24,972 --> 00:16:26,807 REALLY? HOW DO YOU KNOW? 363 00:16:26,890 --> 00:16:28,392 BECAUSE MY PSYCHIC IS DEAD. 364 00:16:29,810 --> 00:16:32,855 SHE MUST HAVE READ THE CARDS WRONG. 365 00:16:32,938 --> 00:16:34,440 OH… WELL, I'M SORRY. 366 00:16:34,523 --> 00:16:36,526 EH, BETTER HER THAN ME. 367 00:16:36,609 --> 00:16:38,068 HEY, LET'S BAKE COOKIES! 368 00:16:44,199 --> 00:16:46,702 LISTEN, I'M REALLY GLAD YOU GOT THE PART. 369 00:16:48,287 --> 00:16:50,956 BUT ARE YOU SURE YOU CAN DO THIS? 370 00:16:51,039 --> 00:16:54,210 YEAH! AND, HEY, MAN, THANKS FOR COMING WITH ME. 371 00:16:54,293 --> 00:16:57,505 AND THANKS AGAIN FOR HELPING ME TAKE A SHOWER. 372 00:16:57,588 --> 00:17:02,635 NOW, IS THAT "NEVER TALKING ABOUT IT AGAIN"? 373 00:17:02,718 --> 00:17:03,802 HIYA. 374 00:17:03,885 --> 00:17:05,638 HEY, JOEY, WE'RE READY FOR YOU. 375 00:17:05,721 --> 00:17:07,056 UH, JOEY, THIS IS ALEX. 376 00:17:07,139 --> 00:17:09,100 HE'S GOING TO BE PLAYING YOUR SON. 377 00:17:09,183 --> 00:17:10,768 HI, ALEX. 378 00:17:10,851 --> 00:17:15,356 AND, UH, AS YOU CAN SEE, MY HANDS… NOT IN MY PANTS. 379 00:17:15,439 --> 00:17:16,439 OKAY… 380 00:17:18,192 --> 00:17:20,945 ALL RIGHT, UH, ALEX, NOW, WHEN JOEY SAYS HIS LINE 381 00:17:21,028 --> 00:17:23,155 "TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOUR MAMA, SON"… 382 00:17:23,238 --> 00:17:24,657 THAT'S YOUR CUE TO CRY. 383 00:17:24,740 --> 00:17:25,950 GOT IT? 384 00:17:26,033 --> 00:17:27,785 ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO THIS. 385 00:17:30,663 --> 00:17:34,083 SCENE FIVE, TAKE ONE. 386 00:17:34,166 --> 00:17:36,085 AND… ACTION! 387 00:17:36,168 --> 00:17:38,838 TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOUR MAMA, SON. 388 00:17:46,261 --> 00:17:49,223 TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOUR MAMA, SON. 389 00:17:52,768 --> 00:17:54,228 COME ON, SON… 390 00:17:54,311 --> 00:17:57,398 YOUR MAMA'S GOOD PEOPLE. 391 00:17:57,481 --> 00:17:58,399 CUT! 392 00:17:58,482 --> 00:18:00,276 ALEX, REMEMBER… 393 00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:01,611 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO CRY. 394 00:18:01,694 --> 00:18:03,237 CAN YOU CRY FOR US THIS TIME? 395 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:05,448 OKAY. 396 00:18:05,531 --> 00:18:07,157 ALL RIGHT, FROM THE TOP. 397 00:18:08,992 --> 00:18:12,037 SCENE FIVE, TAKE TWO. 398 00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:14,749 TAKE 36 IS UP. 399 00:18:14,832 --> 00:18:16,959 ALL RIGHT, LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN. 400 00:18:17,042 --> 00:18:18,461 ARE YOU READY, JOE? 401 00:18:18,544 --> 00:18:19,878 UH, ONE THING… 402 00:18:19,961 --> 00:18:21,798 IS IT ALL RIGHT WITH YOU IF I… IF I SCREAM 403 00:18:21,881 --> 00:18:23,508 RIGHT UP UNTIL YOU SAY "ACTION"? 404 00:18:23,591 --> 00:18:24,884 UH, SURE. 405 00:18:27,553 --> 00:18:28,721 ACTION! 406 00:18:28,804 --> 00:18:31,473 TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOUR MAMA, SON. 407 00:18:33,559 --> 00:18:35,770 CUT! 408 00:18:35,853 --> 00:18:37,480 I'M SORRY. 409 00:18:37,563 --> 00:18:39,190 HEY, HEY, JOE, WHY DON'T YOU LIFT UP YOUR SHIRT? 410 00:18:39,273 --> 00:18:42,234 TAKE A LOOK AT THIS, KIDDO. 411 00:18:44,904 --> 00:18:46,905 WE HAVE HIM CRYING, JOHN! 412 00:18:46,988 --> 00:18:48,866 ROLL THE DAMN CAMERAS! 413 00:18:53,412 --> 00:18:54,330 HELLO? 414 00:18:54,413 --> 00:18:55,665 HELLO, IS ROSS THERE? 415 00:18:55,748 --> 00:18:56,708 UH, NO, HE'S NOT. 416 00:18:56,791 --> 00:18:58,167 CAN I TAKE A MESSAGE? 417 00:18:58,250 --> 00:18:59,877 Yes. This is Russell, Ross's divorce lawyer. 418 00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:02,171 JUST TELL HIM THAT SINCE I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM 419 00:19:02,254 --> 00:19:04,465 I ASSUME HE'S DECIDED TO GIVE THE MARRIAGE A TRY. 420 00:19:04,548 --> 00:19:06,133 ROSS GOT MARRIED AGAIN? 421 00:19:07,175 --> 00:19:09,637 NO! 422 00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:11,806 ALL RIGHT, KEEP GOING. 423 00:19:11,889 --> 00:19:15,309 WE ARE PHASING THE ACCENT OUT… PHASING IT OUT. 424 00:19:15,392 --> 00:19:20,732 SO WITHOUT RETESTING THE RESULTS IN THE LA-BOR-ATORY 425 00:19:20,815 --> 00:19:24,443 THE TEAM WOULD NEVER HAVE I-DENTI-FIED… 426 00:19:26,403 --> 00:19:29,948 THE INITIAL ERRORS IN THEIR… 427 00:19:30,031 --> 00:19:34,203 CARBON-DATING ANAL-YSIS. 428 00:19:34,286 --> 00:19:38,123 WERE THERE ANY QUESTIONS AT THIS POINT? 429 00:19:38,206 --> 00:19:39,250 YES? 430 00:19:39,333 --> 00:19:41,168 WHAT'S HAPPENING TO YOUR ACCENT? 431 00:19:42,878 --> 00:19:44,380 COME AGAIN. 432 00:19:44,463 --> 00:19:46,381 WHAT'S-WHAT'S THIS NONSENSE? 433 00:19:51,052 --> 00:19:53,806 ALL RIGHT, I'M-I'M NOT ENGLISH. 434 00:19:54,849 --> 00:19:58,185 I'M FROM LONG ISLAND. 435 00:19:58,268 --> 00:20:01,230 I WAS REALLY NERVOUS, AND THE ACCENT JUST, UH… 436 00:20:01,313 --> 00:20:02,732 JUST CAME OUT. 437 00:20:02,815 --> 00:20:04,859 I'M SORRY. 438 00:20:07,277 --> 00:20:10,322 SO, IF WE COULD JUST GET BACK TO THE LECTURE. 439 00:20:10,405 --> 00:20:13,826 UM… WERE THERE ANY QUESTIONS? 440 00:20:16,537 --> 00:20:18,163 ABOUT PALEONTOLOGY? 441 00:20:21,458 --> 00:20:22,376 ALL RIGHT, LOOK, I WAS JUST TRYING 442 00:20:22,459 --> 00:20:24,462 TO MAKE A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION. 443 00:20:24,545 --> 00:20:27,172 OBVIOUSLY, I SCREWED UP. 444 00:20:27,255 --> 00:20:28,925 BUT WHAT YOU GUYS THINK OF ME IS REALLY IMPORTANT 445 00:20:29,008 --> 00:20:31,677 BECAUSE I'M-I'M HOPING TO GET A PERMANENT JOB HERE. 446 00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:34,597 SO IF YOU JUST GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE 447 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:36,390 TO MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION… 448 00:20:36,473 --> 00:20:39,268 ROSS! ARE YOU CRAZY? 449 00:20:39,351 --> 00:20:40,686 I AM STILL YOUR WIFE? 450 00:20:40,769 --> 00:20:42,647 WHAT, WERE YOU JUST NEVER GOING TO TELL ME? 451 00:20:42,730 --> 00:20:44,398 WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? 452 00:20:45,774 --> 00:20:48,027 OH! I COULD JUST KILL YOU! 453 00:20:52,948 --> 00:20:54,575 WELL, 'ELLO, RACHEL! 454 00:21:03,751 --> 00:21:05,169 SO, YOU'VE REALLY DONE THIS BEFORE? 455 00:21:05,252 --> 00:21:06,504 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 456 00:21:06,587 --> 00:21:09,089 YOU JUST TAKE A BIG, BIG SWING, OKAY? 457 00:21:09,172 --> 00:21:10,507 NOW, DON'T HOLD BACK. OKAY. 458 00:21:13,385 --> 00:21:14,303 HEY! 459 00:21:14,386 --> 00:21:15,805 HEY! 460 00:21:15,888 --> 00:21:16,973 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 461 00:21:17,056 --> 00:21:18,223 WE'RE JUST CELEBRATING 462 00:21:18,306 --> 00:21:20,935 THAT JOEY GOT HIS HEALTH INSURANCE BACK. 463 00:21:21,018 --> 00:21:22,853 OH, ALL RIGHT.