1
00:00:00,123 --> 00:00:03,501
20% IS A PRETTY
GENEROUS TIP, JOE.

2
00:00:03,584 --> 00:00:05,879
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT'S
MORE GENEROUS THAN THAT? 50%.

3
00:00:05,962 --> 00:00:07,339
YOU KNOW WHAT'S

4
00:00:07,422 --> 00:00:08,798
EVEN MORE GENEROUS THAN THAT?

5
00:00:08,881 --> 00:00:10,383
I SEE WHERE YOU'RE GOING.

6
00:00:11,759 --> 00:00:13,427
WHAT'S UP
WITH THE GREED, JOE?

7
00:00:13,510 --> 00:00:15,055
ALL RIGHT, LOOK,
I'M SORRY, YOU GUYS

8
00:00:15,138 --> 00:00:16,597
BUT IT'S JUST
THAT I GOT TO GET

9
00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:18,975
THESE NEW HEAD SHOTS MADE,
AND THEY'RE REALLY EXPENSIVE

10
00:00:19,058 --> 00:00:19,976
YOU KNOW?

11
00:00:20,059 --> 00:00:22,062
I'M DOWN TO, LIKE, THREE.

12
00:00:22,145 --> 00:00:23,938
ACTUALLY, TWO
'CAUSE ONE OF THEM

13
00:00:24,021 --> 00:00:25,899
I KIND OF BLACKENED IN
SOME TEETH.

14
00:00:25,982 --> 00:00:27,192
WHY'D I DO THAT?

15
00:00:27,275 --> 00:00:28,400
GOD!

16
00:00:28,483 --> 00:00:30,237
WELL, ISN'T THERE
SOMETHING YOU CAN DO

17
00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:31,738
TO EARN A LITTLE
EXTRA MONEY?

18
00:00:31,821 --> 00:00:33,198
I MEAN, CAN'T
YOU PICK UP…

19
00:00:33,281 --> 00:00:34,908
I DON'T KNOW,
AN EXTRA SHIFT HERE?

20
00:00:34,991 --> 00:00:38,411
OR… YOU KNOW, I USED
TO BEG FOR MONEY.

21
00:00:39,996 --> 00:00:41,331
OF COURSE, IT HELPS

22
00:00:41,414 --> 00:00:43,416
IF YOU'VE GOT A LITTLE
OF THIS GOING ON.

23
00:00:43,499 --> 00:00:45,043
WOW. I STILL HAVE IT.

24
00:00:45,126 --> 00:00:46,502
YEAH.

25
00:00:46,585 --> 00:00:48,713
OH, WAIT, WAIT. DON'T YOU
HAVE AN AUDITION TODAY?

26
00:00:48,796 --> 00:00:50,298
YEAH, MAYBE
YOU'LL GET THAT JOB.

27
00:00:50,381 --> 00:00:51,591
OH, HA, HA, HA.

28
00:00:51,674 --> 00:00:54,094
OOH!

29
00:00:54,177 --> 00:00:56,637
WAIT A MINUTE… I USED TO GET
MEDICAL EXPERIMENTS

30
00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:57,931
DONE ON ME ALL THE TIME.

31
00:00:58,014 --> 00:01:01,475
AH, FINALLY AN EXPLANATION.

32
00:01:01,558 --> 00:01:02,936
NO, NO, I USED TO GET PAID

33
00:01:03,019 --> 00:01:05,230
FOR ALL KINDS
OF MEDICAL STUFF, REMEMBER?

34
00:01:05,313 --> 00:01:08,566
LET'S SEE, UH… WELL, I DON'T
WANT TO DONATE SPERM AGAIN.

35
00:01:08,649 --> 00:01:11,569
I REALLY PREFER DOING THAT
AT THE HOME OFFICE, YOU KNOW.

36
00:01:11,652 --> 00:01:13,487
OOH, OOH!

37
00:01:13,570 --> 00:01:17,117
MAYBE THEY WANT SOME OF MY BLOOD
OR SPIT OR SOMETHING, HUH?
JOEY.

38
00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:19,953
YEAH.
WHAT'D I TELL YOU
ABOUT TALKING TO YOUR FRIENDS

39
00:01:20,036 --> 00:01:21,288
WHILE YOU'RE WORKING?

40
00:01:21,371 --> 00:01:23,623
UH… DO IT?

41
00:01:23,706 --> 00:01:26,793
THAT GUY'S BEEN WAITING
FOR HIS COFFEE FOR TEN MINUTES.

42
00:01:26,876 --> 00:01:29,045
HE'S COMPLAINED ABOUT YOU
THREE TIMES.

43
00:01:31,714 --> 00:01:33,716
WELL, WHERE WAS I?

44
00:02:14,590 --> 00:02:15,758
HI.
HEY.

45
00:02:15,841 --> 00:02:17,302
HEY, WHAT HAVE YOU
GUYS BEEN UP TO?

46
00:02:17,385 --> 00:02:19,137
OH, WE WENT TO A SELF-DEFENSE
CLASS TODAY.

47
00:02:19,220 --> 00:02:20,180
WOW.
YEAH.

48
00:02:20,263 --> 00:02:21,722
KICKING A GUY IN THE
CROTCH ALL MORNING

49
00:02:21,805 --> 00:02:23,933
REALLY TAKES IT
OUT OF YOU.

50
00:02:24,016 --> 00:02:26,394
TAKES IT OUT OF YOU?

51
00:02:26,477 --> 00:02:28,938
NO, NOW WE CAN KICK
ANYBODY'S ASS.

52
00:02:29,021 --> 00:02:30,064
YEAH.

53
00:02:30,147 --> 00:02:31,232
AFTER ONE CLASS?

54
00:02:31,315 --> 00:02:32,733
I DON'T THINK SO.

55
00:02:32,816 --> 00:02:34,526
WHAT? YOU WANT TO SEE ME
SELF-DEFEND MYSELF?

56
00:02:34,609 --> 00:02:36,904
GO OVER THERE AND PRETEND
YOU'RE A SEXUAL PREDATOR.

57
00:02:36,987 --> 00:02:38,906
GO ON, I DARE YOU!

58
00:02:38,989 --> 00:02:41,826
WELL, OF COURSE,
YOU CAN DEFEND YOURSELF

59
00:02:41,909 --> 00:02:44,412
FROM AN ATTACK
YOU KNOW IS COMING.

60
00:02:44,495 --> 00:02:46,122
THAT'S NOT ENOUGH.

61
00:02:46,205 --> 00:02:49,834
LOOK, I STUDIED KAR-ATEY
FOR A LONG TIME

62
00:02:49,917 --> 00:02:52,253
AND THERE'S
A CONCEPT

63
00:02:52,336 --> 00:02:54,464
YOU SHOULD
REALLY BE FAMILIAR WITH.

64
00:02:54,547 --> 00:02:58,717
IT'S WHAT THE JAPANESE
CALL UNAGI.

65
00:03:00,219 --> 00:03:02,430
ISN'T THAT A KIND OF SUSHI?

66
00:03:02,513 --> 00:03:04,640
NO, IT'S A CONCEPT.

67
00:03:04,723 --> 00:03:06,726
YEAH, IT IS. IT IS.
IT'S FRESHWATER EEL.

68
00:03:06,809 --> 00:03:09,812
ALL RIGHT,
MAYBE IT MEANS THAT, TOO.

69
00:03:09,895 --> 00:03:11,189
OH, I WOULD KILL

70
00:03:11,272 --> 00:03:13,900
FOR A SALMON SKIN
ROLL RIGHT NOW.

71
00:03:13,983 --> 00:03:16,569
YOU KNOW, FINE, GET ATTACKED;
I DON'T EVEN CARE.

72
00:03:17,694 --> 00:03:19,613
COME ON, ROSS. WE'RE SORRY.

73
00:03:19,696 --> 00:03:21,616
PLEASE TELL US WHAT IT IS.

74
00:03:23,784 --> 00:03:29,207
UNAGI IS A STATE
OF TOTAL AWARENESS, OKAY?

75
00:03:29,290 --> 00:03:33,086
ONLY BY ACHIEVING TRUE UNAGI
CAN YOU BE PREPARED

76
00:03:33,169 --> 00:03:36,381
FOR ANY DANGER
THAT MAY BEFALL YOU.

77
00:03:36,464 --> 00:03:39,133
YOU MEAN, IN CASE
SOMEONE'S TRYING TO STEAL

78
00:03:39,216 --> 00:03:42,303
YOUR BAMBOO SLEEPING MAT
OR YOUR KETTLE OF FISH?

79
00:03:45,181 --> 00:03:48,101
ALL I'M SAYING IS,
IT'S ONE THING
BEING PREPARED

80
00:03:48,184 --> 00:03:50,520
FOR AN ATTACK AGAINST,
LIKE, EACH OTHER.

81
00:03:50,603 --> 00:03:53,440
WHOLE 'NOTHER STORY
BEING PREPARED
FOR AN ATTACK

82
00:03:53,523 --> 00:03:55,358
I DON'T KNOW,
LIKE, A SURPRISE!

83
00:04:02,532 --> 00:04:05,076
ALL RIGHT, YOU KNEW
THAT WAS COMING

84
00:04:05,159 --> 00:04:07,953
BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN
YOU HAVE UNAGI.

85
00:04:10,247 --> 00:04:11,416
OOH, YOU KNOW WHAT?

86
00:04:11,499 --> 00:04:12,959
IF WE MADE RESERVATIONS

87
00:04:13,042 --> 00:04:15,169
WE COULD HAVE UNAGI
IN ABOUT A HALF HOUR.

88
00:04:15,252 --> 00:04:16,462
YOU KNOW WHAT…?

89
00:04:18,589 --> 00:04:20,007
HEY, HEY, IS MONICA HERE?

90
00:04:20,090 --> 00:04:21,175
NO. UH-UH.

91
00:04:21,258 --> 00:04:22,676
LOOK, I NEED YOUR HELP…
I DON'T KNOW

92
00:04:22,759 --> 00:04:24,554
WHAT TO GET HER
FOR VALENTINE'S DAY.

93
00:04:24,637 --> 00:04:27,265
WELL, VALENTINE'S DAY
WAS TWO WEEKS AGO

94
00:04:27,348 --> 00:04:29,600
SO I WOULDN'T
GET HER A CALENDAR.

95
00:04:30,767 --> 00:04:32,270
SHE WAS WORKING
ON VALENTINE'S DAY

96
00:04:32,353 --> 00:04:33,854
SO WE'RE CELEBRATING
IT TONIGHT.

97
00:04:33,937 --> 00:04:36,566
OH, HEY, WHY DON'T YOU
BOOK A DAY FOR BOTH OF YOU

98
00:04:36,649 --> 00:04:38,234
AT ONE OF THOSE
ROMANTIC SPAS?

99
00:04:38,317 --> 00:04:40,861
OOH, JOEY, THAT'S ACTUALLY
A REALLY GOOD IDEA.

100
00:04:40,944 --> 00:04:43,364
YEAH, AND, OF COURSE,
CROTCHLESS PANTIES.

101
00:04:46,116 --> 00:04:47,368
WELL, AS APPEALING

102
00:04:47,451 --> 00:04:49,370
AS THAT DOES SOUND
TO HER BOYFRIEND…

103
00:04:49,453 --> 00:04:50,663
AND HER BROTHER…

104
00:04:53,999 --> 00:04:55,376
I CAN'T DO THAT.

105
00:04:55,459 --> 00:04:57,878
WE PROMISED WE'D MAKE
EACH OTHER GIFTS THIS YEAR.

106
00:04:57,961 --> 00:04:59,380
OH, I LOVE THAT.
YOU GUYS!

107
00:04:59,463 --> 00:05:00,881
YOU CAN'T MAKE
CROTCHLESS PANTIES?

108
00:05:00,964 --> 00:05:01,965
YOU TAKE…

109
00:05:03,467 --> 00:05:05,428
YOU TAKE A PAIR OF SCISSORS
AND JUST CUT THE…

110
00:05:05,511 --> 00:05:07,430
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY!

111
00:05:07,513 --> 00:05:10,016
SO, MAKING THINGS…
THAT SOUNDS SO MUCH FUN.

112
00:05:10,099 --> 00:05:11,392
YEAH, I THOUGHT SO, TOO

113
00:05:11,475 --> 00:05:13,478
UNTIL I PAPIER-MACHE'D
ONE OF MY EYES SHUT.

114
00:05:13,561 --> 00:05:14,937
I LOVE PAPIER-MACHE.

115
00:05:15,020 --> 00:05:16,314
WHAT DID YOU MAKE?

116
00:05:16,397 --> 00:05:18,441
I MADE A ( gibberish ).

117
00:05:18,524 --> 00:05:20,527
WHAT IS THAT?

118
00:05:20,610 --> 00:05:21,611
NOTHING!
OH.

119
00:05:23,820 --> 00:05:25,156
SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

120
00:05:25,239 --> 00:05:26,616
WELL, HAVE YOU GUYS
MADE ANYTHING

121
00:05:26,699 --> 00:05:28,201
THAT MAYBE
I COULD TAKE CREDIT FOR?

122
00:05:28,284 --> 00:05:29,577
OOH, I HAVE. I HAVE.

123
00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:31,912
UM, I STARTED MAKING
THESE LITTLE SOCK BUNNIES.

124
00:05:31,995 --> 00:05:33,206
OH, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

125
00:05:33,289 --> 00:05:34,457
LOOK.

126
00:05:35,499 --> 00:05:36,750
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.

127
00:05:36,833 --> 00:05:38,502
THAT IS MY SOCK.

128
00:05:40,212 --> 00:05:41,964
NOW IT'S YOUR
LITTLE BUNNY FRIEND.

129
00:05:52,141 --> 00:05:54,143
OKAY.

130
00:05:58,689 --> 00:06:02,276
THIS… THIS ACTUALLY
IS A ( gibberish ).

131
00:06:02,359 --> 00:06:03,819
HEY!

132
00:06:03,902 --> 00:06:04,820
HEY.

133
00:06:04,903 --> 00:06:06,197
HONEY, CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION

134
00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:07,657
ABOUT THE VALENTINE'S DAY GIFTS?

135
00:06:07,740 --> 00:06:08,991
OH, YEAH.

136
00:06:09,074 --> 00:06:10,451
DO WE HAVE TO MAKE
THE ENTIRE THING?

137
00:06:10,534 --> 00:06:11,578
YES.

138
00:06:11,661 --> 00:06:13,329
WHY, DID YOU FORGET
TO MAKE YOURS?

139
00:06:14,538 --> 00:06:16,249
OF COURSE… OF COURSE NOT.

140
00:06:16,332 --> 00:06:17,917
I JUST HAVE TO, UH…

141
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,794
GO OVER TO THE PLACE WHERE
I MADE IT AND PICK IT UP.

142
00:06:20,877 --> 00:06:22,338
OKAY. I CAN'T WAIT.

143
00:06:22,421 --> 00:06:24,839
THIS IS GOING TO BE
THE BEST VALENTINE'S DAY EVER.

144
00:06:27,551 --> 00:06:28,844
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

145
00:06:28,927 --> 00:06:30,054
MAKE THE PRESENTS!

146
00:06:30,137 --> 00:06:31,264
MAKE THE PRESENTS!

147
00:06:31,347 --> 00:06:32,724
WHAT?

148
00:06:32,807 --> 00:06:35,850
I'M JUST SO EXCITED
TO MAKE THE PRESENTS!

149
00:06:39,896 --> 00:06:41,315
SHOOT!

150
00:06:43,858 --> 00:06:46,362
HI. UH, I'M JOEY TRIBBIANI

151
00:06:46,445 --> 00:06:47,655
AND, WITH ALL
DUE RESPECT

152
00:06:47,738 --> 00:06:49,448
I'D LIKE TO
DONATE SOME FLUIDS.

153
00:06:51,158 --> 00:06:53,661
WE'RE ACTUALLY AT THE END
OF ONE OF OUR RESEARCH CYCLES

154
00:06:53,744 --> 00:06:55,871
SO WE'RE NOT LOOKING
FOR APPLICANTS RIGHT NOW.

155
00:06:55,954 --> 00:06:58,749
OH, THAT'S TOO BAD;
I KIND OF BEEN SAVING UP.

156
00:07:02,252 --> 00:07:03,504
UH… ARE YOU SURE

157
00:07:03,587 --> 00:07:05,673
THERE'S NO STUDIES
I COULD PARTICIPATE IN?

158
00:07:05,756 --> 00:07:07,675
WELL, HERE'S A SCHEDULE
OF WHAT'S COMING UP.

159
00:07:07,758 --> 00:07:09,343
AH, THANKS.

160
00:07:09,426 --> 00:07:10,762
BUT THIS ONE
STARTS NOW.

161
00:07:10,845 --> 00:07:13,139
OH, THAT ONE
IS AVAILABLE NOW

162
00:07:13,222 --> 00:07:15,891
BUT ONLY IDENTICAL TWINS
ARE ELIGIBLE; IT'S A TWIN STUDY.

163
00:07:15,974 --> 00:07:17,727
BUT IT'S $2,000.

164
00:07:17,810 --> 00:07:19,228
SORRY.

165
00:07:19,311 --> 00:07:21,439
OH.

166
00:07:21,522 --> 00:07:23,441
AND, WELL, HOW
ABOUT THIS ONE?

167
00:07:23,524 --> 00:07:25,693
"TESTING THE EFFECTS
OF JOEY TRIBBIANI

168
00:07:25,776 --> 00:07:28,112
ON ATTRACTIVE NURSE
RECEPTIONIST."

169
00:07:28,195 --> 00:07:31,073
WE ALREADY GOT
THE RESULTS BACK ON THAT ONE

170
00:07:31,156 --> 00:07:32,658
AND THEY'RE NOT GOOD.

171
00:07:37,621 --> 00:07:38,539
…BUT IT WAS GOOD.

172
00:07:38,622 --> 00:07:39,832
THOSE LAST MOVES WERE…

173
00:07:39,915 --> 00:07:41,875
DANGER! DANGER!

174
00:07:41,958 --> 00:07:43,293
ROSS!

175
00:07:46,296 --> 00:07:48,841
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

176
00:07:48,924 --> 00:07:53,137
A LESSON IN THE IMPORTANCE
OF UNAGI.

177
00:07:53,220 --> 00:07:55,556
OH!

178
00:07:55,639 --> 00:07:57,475
YOU'RE A FREAK!

179
00:07:57,558 --> 00:07:59,769
PERHAPS.

180
00:08:01,311 --> 00:08:02,689
NOW, I'M CURIOUS…

181
00:08:02,772 --> 00:08:05,525
AT WHAT POINT
DURING THOSE GIRLISH SCREAMS

182
00:08:05,608 --> 00:08:08,151
WOULD YOU HAVE BEGUN
TO "KICK MY ASS"?

183
00:08:09,986 --> 00:08:12,990
ALL RIGHT, SO WE
WEREN'T PREPARED.

184
00:08:13,073 --> 00:08:14,867
I'M SORRY I HAD TO TAKE

185
00:08:14,950 --> 00:08:17,829
SUCH DRASTIC MEASURES
TO MAKE MY POINT

186
00:08:17,912 --> 00:08:20,206
BUT, LOOK, I JUST WANT
YOU GUYS TO BE SAFE.

187
00:08:20,289 --> 00:08:21,207
OH.
OH.

188
00:08:21,290 --> 00:08:23,292
DANGER!

189
00:08:26,796 --> 00:08:29,131
UH-HUH.

190
00:08:29,214 --> 00:08:31,508
UNAGI.

191
00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:40,059
2,000 BUCKS IS A LOT OF MONEY.

192
00:08:40,142 --> 00:08:42,687
BOY, I WISH I HAD A TWIN.

193
00:08:42,770 --> 00:08:45,189
WHERE COULD I FIND SOMEONE…

194
00:08:45,272 --> 00:08:48,567
WHO LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE ME?

195
00:09:09,129 --> 00:09:10,130
HEY.

196
00:09:10,213 --> 00:09:11,632
CHANDLER…

197
00:09:13,216 --> 00:09:15,469
I SENSED IT WAS YOU.

198
00:09:16,929 --> 00:09:18,555
WHAT?

199
00:09:19,932 --> 00:09:22,142
UNAGI.

200
00:09:22,225 --> 00:09:24,103
I'M ALWAYS AWARE.

201
00:09:24,186 --> 00:09:27,397
OKAY, ARE YOU AWARE
THAT UNAGI IS AN EEL?

202
00:09:28,774 --> 00:09:30,067
WHAT'S UP?

203
00:09:30,150 --> 00:09:31,944
I CAN'T FIGURE OUT
WHAT TO MAKE MONICA.

204
00:09:32,027 --> 00:09:33,738
WHY NOT MAKE HER ONE
OF YOUR LITTLE JOKES?

205
00:09:33,821 --> 00:09:35,239
I'M GOING CRAZY, OKAY?

206
00:09:35,322 --> 00:09:37,366
DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING
AROUND HERE

207
00:09:37,449 --> 00:09:38,743
THAT LOOKS HOMEMADE?

208
00:09:38,826 --> 00:09:40,077
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?

209
00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:42,162
SHE'D LOVE THIS.

210
00:09:42,245 --> 00:09:44,206
IT'S AN EXACT REPLICA
OF APOLLO EIGHT.

211
00:09:44,289 --> 00:09:45,875
I MADE IT IN THE SIXTH GRADE.

212
00:09:45,958 --> 00:09:47,501
YEAH, I GUESS
I COULD USE THAT.

213
00:09:47,584 --> 00:09:49,879
I COULD SAY, "YOUR LOVE
SENDS ME TO THE MOON."

214
00:09:49,962 --> 00:09:51,380
YEAH, YEAH.

215
00:09:51,463 --> 00:09:54,675
EXCEPT APOLLO EIGHT DIDN'T
ACTUALLY LAND ON THE MOON.

216
00:09:54,758 --> 00:09:56,009
BUT YOU COULD WRITE

217
00:09:56,092 --> 00:09:58,429
"YOUR LOVE LETS ME
ORBIT THE MOON TWICE

218
00:09:58,512 --> 00:10:00,681
AND RETURN SAFELY."

219
00:10:00,764 --> 00:10:03,183
WAIT A MINUTE, I CAN'T
GIVE THIS TO HER.

220
00:10:03,266 --> 00:10:04,518
WHY NOT?

221
00:10:04,601 --> 00:10:06,770
BECAUSE IT SAYS "CAPTAIN
ROSS" ON THE SIDE…

222
00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:10,232
AND IT SAYS "I HATE
MONICA" ON THE BOTTOM.

223
00:10:10,315 --> 00:10:11,316
MM-HMM.

224
00:10:14,319 --> 00:10:15,946
DANGER!
DANGER!

225
00:10:23,328 --> 00:10:25,247
AH…

226
00:10:25,330 --> 00:10:27,541
SALMON SKIN ROLL.

227
00:10:31,378 --> 00:10:33,380
OKAY… OKAY…

228
00:10:47,853 --> 00:10:50,230
YES, HONEY, I'VE MADE IT MYSELF.

229
00:11:03,368 --> 00:11:05,370
I CAN'T DO IT.
I CAN'T DO IT.

230
00:11:09,041 --> 00:11:10,250
OH! OH!

231
00:11:10,333 --> 00:11:12,335
A MIX TAPE! A MIX TAPE!

232
00:11:14,630 --> 00:11:15,631
OKAY, HI.

233
00:11:15,714 --> 00:11:17,174
UH, YOU READY TO
EXCHANGE GIFTS?

234
00:11:17,257 --> 00:11:18,217
SURE.

235
00:11:18,300 --> 00:11:19,510
OKAY, YOU GO FIRST.

236
00:11:19,593 --> 00:11:20,970
OKAY, COME HERE.
COME HERE.

237
00:11:21,053 --> 00:11:22,429
OKAY.
NOW, IT'S NOT WRAPPED

238
00:11:22,512 --> 00:11:24,015
BECAUSE I JUST,
JUST FINISHED IT.

239
00:11:24,098 --> 00:11:25,016
OKAY.

240
00:11:25,099 --> 00:11:27,018
BUT I MADE YOU A TAPE

241
00:11:27,101 --> 00:11:29,519
OF WHAT I THINK
ARE ALL ROMANTIC SONGS.

242
00:11:31,021 --> 00:11:32,815
WHAT A GREAT GIFT.

243
00:11:34,566 --> 00:11:37,027
IS "THE WAY YOU LOOK
TONIGHT" ON IT?

244
00:11:40,030 --> 00:11:42,575
MAYBE. WE'LL HAVE
TO LISTEN AND SEE.

245
00:11:42,658 --> 00:11:43,993
OH, I LOVE IT.

246
00:11:44,076 --> 00:11:45,494
THANK YOU SO MUCH.

247
00:11:45,577 --> 00:11:46,662
OKAY.

248
00:11:46,745 --> 00:11:47,663
OKAY.

249
00:11:47,746 --> 00:11:48,789
YOU READY TO
OPEN YOURS?

250
00:11:48,872 --> 00:11:50,373
YEAH.
OKAY.

251
00:12:02,094 --> 00:12:03,763
IT'S A SOCK BUNNY.

252
00:12:03,846 --> 00:12:06,599
YEAH, YEAH, YOU REMEMBER
HOW I CALL YOU "BUNNY"?

253
00:12:06,682 --> 00:12:09,309
NOT REALLY.

254
00:12:09,392 --> 00:12:11,311
WELL, I DID ONE TIME

255
00:12:11,394 --> 00:12:13,647
AND I WANT TO START
DOING IT MORE.

256
00:12:15,149 --> 00:12:16,943
SEE, THAT'S WHAT
THIS IS ABOUT.
I SEE.

257
00:12:17,026 --> 00:12:19,528
YOU KNOW, UM…
PHOEBE MAKES SOCK BUNNIES.

258
00:12:19,611 --> 00:12:20,905
NO, NO, SHE DOESN'T.

259
00:12:20,988 --> 00:12:22,990
PHOEBE, WHAT SHE MAKES,
THEY'RE SOCK RABBITS.

260
00:12:23,073 --> 00:12:24,450
THEY'RE COMPLETELY
DIFFERENT.

261
00:12:24,533 --> 00:12:26,117
OKAY! OKAY!

262
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:27,160
OKAY

263
00:12:27,243 --> 00:12:28,495
I DIDN'T MAKE IT.

264
00:12:28,578 --> 00:12:30,205
I'M SORRY.
I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT TONIGHT

265
00:12:30,288 --> 00:12:32,207
AND THE FACT THAT WE'RE
SUPPOSED TO MAKE THE PRESENTS.

266
00:12:32,290 --> 00:12:33,709
OH, IT'S OKAY. I DON'T, I…

267
00:12:33,792 --> 00:12:35,377
NO, NO, IT'S NOT OKAY.
IT'S NOT.

268
00:12:35,460 --> 00:12:37,588
I MEAN, YOU WERE JUST…
YOU'RE SO INCREDIBLE

269
00:12:37,671 --> 00:12:39,381
AND YOU WENT THROUGH
ALL THIS TIME AND EFFORT TO MAKE

270
00:12:39,464 --> 00:12:42,802
THIS TAPE FOR ME;
YOU KNOW, I'M
JUST GOING TO…

271
00:12:42,885 --> 00:12:46,472
I'M GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE
THIS UP TO YOU… I WILL.

272
00:12:46,555 --> 00:12:50,309
I AM GOING TO… COOK YOU
ANYTHING YOU WANT IN HERE

273
00:12:50,392 --> 00:12:53,854
AND I'M GOING TO DO
ANYTHING YOU WANT IN THERE.

274
00:12:56,648 --> 00:12:58,901
WELL, I DID PUT
A LOT OF THOUGHT INTO THE TAPE.

275
00:13:09,578 --> 00:13:10,787
WOW.

276
00:13:13,957 --> 00:13:16,793
YOU ARE WAY TOO YOUNG
TO HAVE SEEN THAT.

277
00:13:18,754 --> 00:13:20,881
YOU KNOW, YOUR BIRTHDAY'S
IN A MONTH AND A HALF.

278
00:13:20,964 --> 00:13:22,257
WHAT DO YOU SAY

279
00:13:22,340 --> 00:13:24,677
I FORGET TO GET YOU
A PRESENT FOR THAT TOO?

280
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:28,681
YOU ARE TOTALLY AND
COMPLETELY 100% FORGIVEN.

281
00:13:28,764 --> 00:13:30,432
WE HAVE GOT TO WASH THAT.

282
00:13:30,515 --> 00:13:31,558
YEAH.

283
00:13:34,728 --> 00:13:36,105
HEY.

284
00:13:36,188 --> 00:13:38,065
DO YOU REMEMBER THAT JACKET
THAT YOU LOVED SO MUCH

285
00:13:38,148 --> 00:13:39,650
THAT YOU THOUGHT
WAS TOO EXPENSIVE?

286
00:13:39,733 --> 00:13:41,861
YOU HAVE DONE ENOUGH.

287
00:13:41,944 --> 00:13:44,530
I'M GOING TO WAKE UP EARLY
AND GO GET IT FOR YOU.

288
00:13:44,613 --> 00:13:47,032
NO, YOU DON'T HAVE… GET
IT IN BLACK, NOT BROWN.

289
00:13:48,324 --> 00:13:50,494
OOP! YOUR CAKE IS READY.

290
00:13:50,577 --> 00:13:51,661
OOP.

291
00:13:54,873 --> 00:13:56,333
WELL, IT'S LIKE
THAT OLD SAYING…

292
00:13:56,416 --> 00:13:59,169
"HAVE SEX,
EAT SOME CAKE."

293
00:14:02,214 --> 00:14:03,632
HEY, MON. HEY, CHAN.

294
00:14:03,715 --> 00:14:05,008
JUST GETTING A SODA.

295
00:14:09,972 --> 00:14:11,682
WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

296
00:14:11,765 --> 00:14:13,558
I'M JOEY.

297
00:14:14,643 --> 00:14:17,104
HOW ARE YOU DOIN'?

298
00:14:18,772 --> 00:14:21,525
NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

299
00:14:21,608 --> 00:14:23,318
HOW YOU DOIN'?

300
00:14:24,903 --> 00:14:25,946
HOW YOU DOIN'?

301
00:14:26,029 --> 00:14:27,656
DAMN IT, CARL.
GO WAIT IN THE HALL.

302
00:14:32,911 --> 00:14:34,246
LOOK.

303
00:14:34,329 --> 00:14:36,456
I'VE GOT TO APOLOGIZE
ON BEHALF OF CARL.

304
00:14:36,539 --> 00:14:38,959
WHO THE HELL IS CARL?

305
00:14:39,042 --> 00:14:40,753
OH, DID I NOT MENTION?

306
00:14:40,836 --> 00:14:42,546
CARL

307
00:14:42,629 --> 00:14:44,882
IS A GUY I HIRED
TO BE MY IDENTICAL TWIN

308
00:14:44,965 --> 00:14:46,758
FOR A MEDICAL RESEARCH
PROJECT.

309
00:14:50,262 --> 00:14:51,889
YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES
THE GOOD IDEAS ARE

310
00:14:51,972 --> 00:14:54,058
JUST RIGHT IN FRONT
OF YOU, AREN'T THEY?

311
00:14:54,141 --> 00:14:57,019
I KNOW IT SOUNDS CRAZY,
BUT I THINK IT MIGHT WORK

312
00:14:57,102 --> 00:14:59,396
BUT THE ONLY PROBLEM IS,
CARL'S ACTING IS…

313
00:14:59,479 --> 00:15:01,899
THE ONLY PROBLEM?

314
00:15:01,982 --> 00:15:03,442
YEAH, HE'S THE REASON
I DIDN'T GET

315
00:15:03,525 --> 00:15:04,777
THAT BIG MINUTE MAID
COMMERCIAL

316
00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:06,361
A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO,
REMEMBER?

317
00:15:06,444 --> 00:15:08,906
WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE BROTHERS,
BUT HE MESSED IT UP.

318
00:15:08,989 --> 00:15:10,407
HEY.

319
00:15:10,490 --> 00:15:12,367
UH, CAN I GET A LITTLE PIECE
OF THAT CAKE?

320
00:15:12,450 --> 00:15:14,411
PIZZA! WE LIKE PIZZA!

321
00:15:14,494 --> 00:15:15,537
GET OUT!

322
00:15:23,378 --> 00:15:24,630
PAT SAJAK?

323
00:15:24,713 --> 00:15:25,631
YEAH.

324
00:15:25,714 --> 00:15:26,757
ALEX TREBEK?

325
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:27,758
OH, OF COURSE.

326
00:15:27,841 --> 00:15:29,635
CHUCK WOOLERY.

327
00:15:29,718 --> 00:15:30,928
DEFINITELY, PHOEBE.

328
00:15:31,011 --> 00:15:33,764
YOU WILL NOT FIND
A SINGLE GAME SHOW HOST

329
00:15:33,847 --> 00:15:35,807
WHOSE ASS I CANNOT KICK.

330
00:15:44,941 --> 00:15:46,026
SAY IT!

331
00:15:46,109 --> 00:15:47,527
SAY "WE ARE UNAGI."

332
00:15:49,154 --> 00:15:52,241
IT'S NOT SOMETHING YOU ARE;
IT'S SOMETHING YOU HAVE.

333
00:15:52,324 --> 00:15:54,243
SAY IT!

334
00:15:54,326 --> 00:15:56,620
YOU KNOW, I COULD EASILY
GET OUT OF THIS

335
00:15:56,703 --> 00:16:00,332
BUT THERE'S A CHANCE
YOU COULD GET VERY, VERY HURT.

336
00:16:12,552 --> 00:16:13,929
ALL RIGHT, CARL, WE'RE NEXT.

337
00:16:14,012 --> 00:16:14,972
NOW REMEMBER

338
00:16:15,055 --> 00:16:16,598
WHAT IS THIS
NOT GOING TO BE?

339
00:16:16,681 --> 00:16:18,684
ANOTHER MINUTE
MAID FIASCO.

340
00:16:18,767 --> 00:16:19,935
THAT'S RIGHT.

341
00:16:20,018 --> 00:16:21,812
AND WHAT ARE YOU
NOT GOING TO DO?

342
00:16:21,895 --> 00:16:23,314
I'M NOT GOING TO TALK BECAUSE…

343
00:16:23,397 --> 00:16:25,440
THAT… DAMN IT, CARL!

344
00:16:29,069 --> 00:16:31,488
CAN I HAVE THE NEXT ONE,
PLEASE?

345
00:16:31,571 --> 00:16:33,657
THANK YOU.

346
00:16:33,740 --> 00:16:35,784
JOEY AND TONY TRIBBIANI.

347
00:16:35,867 --> 00:16:37,244
THAT'S US.

348
00:16:37,327 --> 00:16:38,662
BUT, UH…

349
00:16:38,745 --> 00:16:40,956
THIS IS A STUDY
FOR IDENTICAL TWINS.

350
00:16:41,039 --> 00:16:44,626
THAT'S RIGHT…
$2,000.

351
00:16:44,709 --> 00:16:47,087
BUT YOU'RE NOT IDENTICAL TWINS.

352
00:16:49,756 --> 00:16:51,633
DAMN IT, CARL!

353
00:16:57,597 --> 00:17:00,517
OH, MY GOOD GOD.

354
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:04,521
OKAY, CONTINUING
THE COUNTDOWN

355
00:17:04,604 --> 00:17:06,148
OF YOUR FAVORITE MEALS.

356
00:17:09,651 --> 00:17:12,695
MACARONI AND CHEESE
WITH CUT-UP HOT DOGS.

357
00:17:14,323 --> 00:17:16,533
LOOK, YOU HAVE DONE
ENOUGH, OKAY?

358
00:17:16,616 --> 00:17:18,410
YOU HAVE TO STOP THIS NOW.

359
00:17:18,493 --> 00:17:20,453
I WILL BUT NOT TONIGHT.

360
00:17:20,536 --> 00:17:21,830
AND FOR DINNER MUSIC,
I THOUGHT

361
00:17:21,913 --> 00:17:24,917
WE COULD LISTEN TO THAT
TAPE THAT YOU MADE ME.

362
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,960
OH, THE MIX TAPE.

363
00:17:34,884 --> 00:17:38,389
"THE WAY YOU LOOK TONIGHT"
IS ON HERE.

364
00:17:38,472 --> 00:17:39,932
DANCE WITH ME?

365
00:17:58,492 --> 00:18:01,619
YOU ARE JUST
THE SWEETEST…

366
00:18:03,288 --> 00:18:05,916
I love the way you look

367
00:18:05,999 --> 00:18:08,543
every night, Chandler.

368
00:18:13,423 --> 00:18:15,008
That's why I made you this tape.

369
00:18:15,091 --> 00:18:17,469
Happy Birthday!

370
00:18:17,552 --> 00:18:19,304
Love, Janice.

371
00:18:25,143 --> 00:18:27,687
NO, YOU'RE THE SWEETEST…

372
00:18:33,818 --> 00:18:36,780
OKAY, LADIES, THAT ENDS TODAY'S
CLASS, AND LET'S REMEMBER…

373
00:18:36,863 --> 00:18:38,573
LET'S BE SAFE OUT THERE.

374
00:18:45,163 --> 00:18:46,332
IT'S A GREAT CLASS.

375
00:18:46,415 --> 00:18:47,416
THANKS, MAN.

376
00:18:47,499 --> 00:18:49,543
YEAH, YEAH,
I WAS WATCHING.

377
00:18:51,794 --> 00:18:54,923
UM, HEY, A COUPLE
OF QUESTIONS, THOUGH.

378
00:18:55,006 --> 00:18:56,967
UM, YOU KNOW,
ABOUT THAT LAST MOVE

379
00:18:57,050 --> 00:18:59,803
WHERE THAT WOMAN TRIPPED YOU
AND THEN PINNED YOU

380
00:18:59,886 --> 00:19:01,096
TO THE FLOOR?

381
00:19:01,179 --> 00:19:02,806
WHAT WOULD YOU DO NEXT?

382
00:19:02,889 --> 00:19:05,142
WELL, AND THEN SHE'D TAKE
HER KEYS AND TRY TO JAM THEM…

383
00:19:05,225 --> 00:19:08,312
NO, NO,
WHAT WOULD YOU DO NEXT?

384
00:19:08,395 --> 00:19:10,481
WHO, ME, THE ATTACKER?

385
00:19:10,564 --> 00:19:11,982
YES, THAT'S RIGHT.

386
00:19:12,065 --> 00:19:13,650
WHY?

387
00:19:13,733 --> 00:19:15,652
I TRIED ATTACKING TWO WOMEN.

388
00:19:15,735 --> 00:19:17,446
DID NOT WORK.

389
00:19:17,529 --> 00:19:18,738
WHAT?

390
00:19:18,821 --> 00:19:19,948
NO, I MEAN, IT'S OKAY.

391
00:19:20,031 --> 00:19:21,574
I MEAN, THEY'RE MY FRIENDS.

392
00:19:21,657 --> 00:19:24,286
IN FACT, I WAS MARRIED
TO ONE OF THEM.

393
00:19:24,369 --> 00:19:25,578
LET ME GET
THIS STRAIGHT.

394
00:19:25,661 --> 00:19:27,331
YOU ATTACKED YOUR EX-WIFE?

395
00:19:27,414 --> 00:19:30,167
OH, NO, NO, NO.

396
00:19:30,250 --> 00:19:32,336
I TRIED

397
00:19:32,419 --> 00:19:34,004
BUT I COULDN'T.

398
00:19:34,087 --> 00:19:36,214
THAT'S WHY I'M HERE.

399
00:19:37,549 --> 00:19:40,218
MAYBE WE COULD ATTACK THEM
TOGETHER.

400
00:19:42,178 --> 00:19:43,846
THAT'S A "NO."

401
00:19:45,181 --> 00:19:49,520
I AM SO, SO,
SO, SO SORRY.

402
00:19:49,603 --> 00:19:51,480
UH-HUH.

403
00:19:53,607 --> 00:19:57,277
OH! AND I WILL COOK
ANYTHING YOU WANT IN HERE

404
00:19:57,360 --> 00:20:01,156
AND DO ANYTHING YOU WANT
IN THERE.

405
00:20:02,491 --> 00:20:05,201
YEAH, YOU WILL,
AND ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

406
00:20:07,870 --> 00:20:10,957
OH, COME ON, MONICA,
IT'S OUR VALENTINE'S DAY.

407
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:13,335
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE?

408
00:20:15,420 --> 00:20:16,713
OKAY.

409
00:20:16,796 --> 00:20:18,173
OKAY?

410
00:20:32,728 --> 00:20:33,813
SO ARE WE GOING IN THERE?

411
00:20:33,896 --> 00:20:35,565
I AM.

412
00:20:49,412 --> 00:20:50,956
AHA.

413
00:20:51,039 --> 00:20:53,667
NOWHERE TO RUN.

414
00:20:56,127 --> 00:20:57,837
I DON'T LIKE
SITTING UP HERE.

415
00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:59,172
I'M GOING OVER THERE.

416
00:20:59,255 --> 00:21:00,674
NO, RACHEL,
THEY GOT HERE FIRST.

417
00:21:08,723 --> 00:21:09,891
WHAT?

418
00:21:09,974 --> 00:21:11,268
WHY IS ROSS DOING THAT?

419
00:21:11,351 --> 00:21:12,519
DANGER!

420
00:21:12,602 --> 00:21:13,979
OH, MY GOD!

421
00:21:14,062 --> 00:21:16,690
WHY IS HE JUMPING
ON THOSE WOMEN?

422
00:21:18,316 --> 00:21:20,193
WE SHOULD HELP THEM.

423
00:21:20,276 --> 00:21:23,112
I… I DON'T THINK
THEY NEED ANY HELP.