1 00:00:00,054 --> 00:00:02,641 I DON'T NEED YOU OR ANYBODY ELSE! 2 00:00:02,724 --> 00:00:05,226 I'M GOING TO MAKE IT ON MY OWN! 3 00:00:06,394 --> 00:00:08,062 YOU'LL SEE! 4 00:00:08,145 --> 00:00:09,355 YOU'LL ALL SEE! 5 00:00:50,814 --> 00:00:53,608 SO, WHAT'S THIS THING YOU'RE AUDITIONING FOR? 6 00:00:53,691 --> 00:00:55,443 OH, IT'S A NEW TV SHOW. 7 00:00:55,526 --> 00:00:57,237 I'M UP FOR THE PART OF MAC MACKAVELLI… 8 00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:58,572 OR "MAC." 9 00:00:58,655 --> 00:00:59,989 REALLY? 10 00:01:00,072 --> 00:01:01,199 YEAH. 11 00:01:01,282 --> 00:01:03,451 I'M A DETECTIVE AND I SOLVE CRIMES 12 00:01:03,534 --> 00:01:05,912 WITH THE HELP OF MY ROBOT PARTNER. 13 00:01:05,995 --> 00:01:08,039 HE'S A COMPUTERIZED HUMANOID 14 00:01:08,122 --> 00:01:10,958 ELECTRONICALLY ENHANCED SECRET ENFORCER. 15 00:01:11,041 --> 00:01:13,670 OR "CHEESE." 16 00:01:13,753 --> 00:01:17,257 SO, MAC AND CHEESE. 17 00:01:17,340 --> 00:01:19,217 THAT'S THE TITLE. 18 00:01:19,300 --> 00:01:20,761 YEAH. 19 00:01:20,844 --> 00:01:22,220 YOU KNOW, THEY REALLY LUCKED OUT 20 00:01:22,303 --> 00:01:23,680 THAT THE INITIALS SPELL "CHEESE." 21 00:01:23,763 --> 00:01:26,307 THAT IS LUCKY. 22 00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:27,559 HUH. 23 00:01:27,642 --> 00:01:29,143 SO, JOEY, IF YOU GET THIS 24 00:01:29,226 --> 00:01:32,230 YOU'RE GOING TO BE, LIKE, THE STAR OF YOUR OWN TV SHOW. 25 00:01:32,313 --> 00:01:34,566 I MEAN, YOU'LL BE LIKE THE BIG CHEESE. 26 00:01:34,649 --> 00:01:35,567 OR THE BIG MAC. 27 00:01:35,650 --> 00:01:36,902 HEY, YOU LOVE THOSE. 28 00:01:36,985 --> 00:01:38,236 WELL, DON'T GET YOUR HOPES UP 29 00:01:38,319 --> 00:01:40,321 BECAUSE IT'S PROBABLY NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. 30 00:01:40,404 --> 00:01:42,323 NOW, NOW, WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT, JOSEPH? 31 00:01:42,406 --> 00:01:43,408 COME ON, YOU GUYS. 32 00:01:43,491 --> 00:01:44,785 MY OWN TV SHOW? 33 00:01:44,868 --> 00:01:46,578 I JUST… I DON'T KNOW IF I'M GOOD ENOUGH. 34 00:01:46,661 --> 00:01:48,747 I AM. 35 00:01:48,830 --> 00:01:50,164 WELL, JOEY 36 00:01:50,247 --> 00:01:51,416 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 37 00:01:51,499 --> 00:01:52,542 YOU'RE A TERRIFIC ACTOR. 38 00:01:52,625 --> 00:01:54,419 YOU REALLY THINK SO? 39 00:01:54,502 --> 00:01:56,420 HOW CAN YOU EVEN ASK THAT QUESTION? 40 00:01:58,006 --> 00:01:59,090 WHOA, SHE'S PRETTY. 41 00:01:59,173 --> 00:02:00,341 YEAH. 42 00:02:00,424 --> 00:02:02,844 OH, AND SHE'S REALLY NICE, TOO. 43 00:02:02,927 --> 00:02:04,721 SHE TAUGHT ME ALL ABOUT, YOU KNOW 44 00:02:04,804 --> 00:02:06,347 HOW TO WORK WITH THE CAMERAS 45 00:02:06,430 --> 00:02:07,973 AND "SMELL THE FART" ACTING. 46 00:02:08,056 --> 00:02:08,974 HUH. 47 00:02:09,057 --> 00:02:10,059 I'M SORRY… 48 00:02:10,142 --> 00:02:12,061 WHAT? EXCUSE ME? 49 00:02:12,144 --> 00:02:14,188 IT'S LIKE, YOU GOT SO MANY LINES 50 00:02:14,271 --> 00:02:15,315 TO LEARN SO FAST 51 00:02:15,398 --> 00:02:17,442 THAT SOMETIMES YOU NEED A MINUTE 52 00:02:17,525 --> 00:02:19,152 TO REMEMBER YOUR NEXT ONE. 53 00:02:19,235 --> 00:02:21,112 SO, WHILE YOU'RE THINKING OF IT 54 00:02:21,195 --> 00:02:24,825 YOU TAKE THIS BIG PAUSE, WHERE YOU LOOK ALL INTENSE 55 00:02:24,908 --> 00:02:26,116 YOU KNOW, LIKE THIS. 56 00:02:27,535 --> 00:02:30,038 OKAY. MMM. OH. 57 00:02:31,414 --> 00:02:33,999 OH, HERE'S MY SCENE! HERE'S MY SCENE! 58 00:02:34,082 --> 00:02:35,042 Mrs. Wallace? 59 00:02:35,125 --> 00:02:36,252 I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray 60 00:02:36,335 --> 00:02:37,838 your sister's neurosurgeon. 61 00:02:37,921 --> 00:02:41,089 Your sister is suffering from a… 62 00:02:44,719 --> 00:02:47,180 YEAH, EVA… 63 00:02:47,263 --> 00:02:51,017 WE'VE DONE SOME EXCELLENT WORK HERE 64 00:02:51,100 --> 00:02:54,061 AND I WOULD HAVE TO SAY 65 00:02:54,144 --> 00:02:57,941 YOUR PROBLEM IS QUITE CLEAR. 66 00:03:13,163 --> 00:03:15,750 I PLAY AL PACINO'S BUTT. 67 00:03:17,752 --> 00:03:19,045 ALL RIGHT? 68 00:03:19,128 --> 00:03:22,841 HE GOES INTO THE SHOWER AND THEN I'M HIS BUTT. 69 00:03:22,924 --> 00:03:24,342 OH, MY GOD. 70 00:03:24,425 --> 00:03:25,844 COME ON, YOU GUYS. 71 00:03:25,927 --> 00:03:27,929 THIS IS A REAL MOVIE, AND AL PACINO'S IN IT 72 00:03:28,012 --> 00:03:29,055 AND THAT'S BIG. 73 00:03:29,138 --> 00:03:30,557 OH, NO, IT'S TERRIFIC. 74 00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:31,808 YOU DESERVE THIS. 75 00:03:31,891 --> 00:03:33,393 AFTER ALL YOUR YEARS 76 00:03:33,476 --> 00:03:35,478 OF STRUGGLING, YOU'VE FINALLY BEEN ABLE TO CRACK 77 00:03:35,561 --> 00:03:37,563 YOUR WAY INTO SHOW BUSINESS. 78 00:03:39,482 --> 00:03:41,150 OKAY, FINE. MAKE JOKES. 79 00:03:41,233 --> 00:03:42,235 I DON'T CARE. 80 00:03:42,318 --> 00:03:44,111 THIS IS A BIG BREAK FOR ME. 81 00:03:44,194 --> 00:03:45,696 YOU'RE RIGHT. IT IS. 82 00:03:46,697 --> 00:03:49,450 SO, YOU GOING TO INVITE US ALL TO THE BIG OPENING? 83 00:03:50,952 --> 00:03:52,537 ALL RIGHT, WELL, I'M OUT OF HERE. 84 00:03:52,620 --> 00:03:53,580 WISH ME LUCK. 85 00:04:01,504 --> 00:04:03,047 YEAH, WHATEVER. 86 00:04:08,469 --> 00:04:10,471 IT'S YOUR TURN. 87 00:04:10,554 --> 00:04:12,724 OH, ARE WE PLAYING THIS? 88 00:04:12,807 --> 00:04:15,060 HEY. 89 00:04:15,143 --> 00:04:17,228 HEY. HOW'D THE AUDITION GO? 90 00:04:17,311 --> 00:04:18,271 TERRIBLE. 91 00:04:18,354 --> 00:04:19,439 I MESSED UP EVERY LINE. 92 00:04:19,522 --> 00:04:20,941 I SHOULDN'T EVEN BE AN ACTOR. 93 00:04:21,024 --> 00:04:22,442 WAIT A MINUTE. 94 00:04:22,525 --> 00:04:23,610 ARE YOU DOING THAT THING 95 00:04:23,693 --> 00:04:25,152 WHERE YOU PRETEND IT DIDN'T GO WELL 96 00:04:25,235 --> 00:04:26,362 BUT IT REALLY DID GO WELL? 97 00:04:26,445 --> 00:04:29,032 YEAH. DID I FOOL YOU? 98 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:31,158 TOTALLY. 99 00:04:31,241 --> 00:04:33,453 SO IT DID GO WELL. 100 00:04:33,536 --> 00:04:35,371 IT WENT AMAZINGLY WELL. 101 00:04:35,454 --> 00:04:36,664 THAT'S GREAT. GREAT. 102 00:04:36,747 --> 00:04:39,000 YEAH. IT'S DOWN TO ME AND TWO OTHER GUYS. 103 00:04:39,083 --> 00:04:41,002 I KNOW BOTH OF THEM AND THEY'RE REALLY GOOD. 104 00:04:41,085 --> 00:04:43,463 ONE OF THEM IS THE GUY FROM THOSE ALLERGY COMMERCIALS 105 00:04:43,546 --> 00:04:45,339 WHO'S ALWAYS GETTING CHASED BY THOSE BIG FLOWERS. 106 00:04:45,422 --> 00:04:48,175 OH, I LOVE THAT GUY. 107 00:04:48,258 --> 00:04:50,177 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 108 00:04:50,260 --> 00:04:53,014 WHAT AM I DOING? 109 00:04:53,097 --> 00:04:54,515 I'M SO NERVOUS, YOU KNOW. 110 00:04:54,598 --> 00:04:57,184 THE CALLBACK ISN'T UNTIL TOMORROW AT 5:00. 111 00:04:57,267 --> 00:04:59,562 I FEEL LIKE MY HEAD'S GOING TO EXPLODE. 112 00:04:59,645 --> 00:05:01,480 WELL, IT IS OVERDUE. 113 00:05:02,773 --> 00:05:04,191 LOOK, DON'T WORRY, OKAY? 114 00:05:04,274 --> 00:05:05,652 YOU'RE GOING TO BE FINE. 115 00:05:05,735 --> 00:05:07,403 THERE'S JUST SO MUCH PRESSURE. 116 00:05:07,486 --> 00:05:09,656 NO OFFENSE, BUT WHAT YOU GUYS ALL DO IS VERY DIFFERENT. 117 00:05:09,739 --> 00:05:11,198 I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'D UNDERSTAND. 118 00:05:11,281 --> 00:05:12,867 YEAH, NONE OF THE REST OF US 119 00:05:12,950 --> 00:05:15,160 HAVE TO DEAL WITH PRESSURE AT OUR JOBS. 120 00:05:15,243 --> 00:05:17,622 YES, FRAN, I KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS 121 00:05:17,705 --> 00:05:21,250 BUT I'M LOOKING AT THE WEENUS AND I'M NOT HAPPY. 122 00:05:21,333 --> 00:05:23,753 WELL, I'M TEARING THE LETTUCE. 123 00:05:23,836 --> 00:05:25,505 UH-HUH. IS IT DIRTY? 124 00:05:25,588 --> 00:05:27,172 NO, DON'T WORRY, I'M GOING TO WASH IT. 125 00:05:27,255 --> 00:05:30,051 DON'T. I LIKE IT DIRTY. 126 00:05:31,677 --> 00:05:33,930 THAT'S YOUR CALL. 127 00:05:34,013 --> 00:05:37,058 SO, UH… WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NEXT? 128 00:05:37,141 --> 00:05:39,936 WELL, I THOUGHT THAT I WOULD CUT UP THE TOMATOES. 129 00:05:40,019 --> 00:05:42,646 ARE THEY, UH, FIRM? 130 00:05:44,065 --> 00:05:45,608 THEY'RE ALL RIGHT. 131 00:05:45,691 --> 00:05:48,111 YOU SURE THEY HAVEN'T GONE BAD? 132 00:05:48,194 --> 00:05:50,654 YOU SURE THEY'RE NOT VERY, VERY BAD? 133 00:05:54,366 --> 00:05:56,036 NO, REALLY, THEY'RE OKAY. 134 00:05:56,119 --> 00:05:58,412 YOU GOING TO SLICE THEM UP REAL NICE? 135 00:05:58,495 --> 00:06:00,623 ACTUALLY, I WAS GOING TO DO THEM JULIENNE. 136 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,669 I'M OUT OF HERE. 137 00:06:04,752 --> 00:06:06,253 MONICA, I'M QUITTING. 138 00:06:06,336 --> 00:06:08,715 I JUST HELPED AN 81-YEAR-OLD WOMAN PUT ON A THONG 139 00:06:08,798 --> 00:06:10,257 AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN BUY IT. 140 00:06:10,340 --> 00:06:12,052 I'M TELLING YOU, I'M QUITTING. 141 00:06:12,135 --> 00:06:14,303 THAT'S IT. I'M TALKING TO MY BOSS RIGHT NOW. 142 00:06:14,386 --> 00:06:15,304 YES, I AM. 143 00:06:15,387 --> 00:06:16,556 YES, I AM. YES, I AM. 144 00:06:16,639 --> 00:06:18,058 YES, I AM. YES, I AM. YES, I AM. 145 00:06:18,141 --> 00:06:20,101 OKAY, BYE. CALL ME WHEN YOU GET THIS MESSAGE. 146 00:06:20,184 --> 00:06:21,268 WHAT HAPPENED? 147 00:06:21,351 --> 00:06:23,104 WELL, HE CAME IN FOR A MASSAGE… 148 00:06:23,187 --> 00:06:25,022 AND EVERYTHING WAS FINE UNTIL… 149 00:06:29,443 --> 00:06:31,196 OH… OH… OH, MY GOD. 150 00:06:31,279 --> 00:06:35,741 AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, HIS HANDS WEREN'T THE PROBLEM ANYMORE. 151 00:06:38,869 --> 00:06:40,287 WAS IT… 152 00:06:40,370 --> 00:06:44,125 OH, BOY SCOUTS COULD HAVE CAMPED UNDER THERE. 153 00:06:44,208 --> 00:06:45,877 YOU ATE MY SANDWICH? 154 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:47,212 IT WAS A SIMPLE MISTAKE. 155 00:06:47,295 --> 00:06:48,629 IT COULD HAPPEN TO ANYONE. 156 00:06:48,712 --> 00:06:50,965 OH, REAL-REALLY? 157 00:06:51,048 --> 00:06:52,633 NOW, NOW, CALM DOWN. 158 00:06:52,716 --> 00:06:54,052 COME LOOK IN MY OFFICE. 159 00:06:54,135 --> 00:06:56,386 SOME OF IT MAY STILL BE IN THE TRASH. 160 00:06:57,847 --> 00:06:59,599 WHAT? 161 00:06:59,682 --> 00:07:01,308 WELL, IT WAS QUITE LARGE. 162 00:07:01,391 --> 00:07:03,352 I HAD TO THROW MOST OF IT AWAY. 163 00:07:03,435 --> 00:07:05,354 YOU… YOU… YOU… 164 00:07:05,437 --> 00:07:08,983 YOU THREW MY SANDWICH AWAY? 165 00:07:09,066 --> 00:07:11,069 MY SANDWICH? 166 00:07:11,152 --> 00:07:14,530 MY SANDWICH? 167 00:07:14,613 --> 00:07:18,243 I WANT THIS PART SO MUCH, YOU KNOW. 168 00:07:18,326 --> 00:07:19,744 IF I DON'T GET THIS PART 169 00:07:19,827 --> 00:07:22,163 I'M NEVER GOING TO EAT MACARONI AND CHEESE AGAIN. 170 00:07:22,246 --> 00:07:24,498 NO, I DIDN'T SAY THAT. THAT DOESN'T COUNT. 171 00:07:29,378 --> 00:07:32,257 OH, COME ON, GUYS, IT'S NOT LIKE I MOVED TO EUROPE. 172 00:07:32,340 --> 00:07:34,926 I JUST MOVED ACROSS THE HALL. 173 00:07:35,009 --> 00:07:38,179 AND WE WOULD HAVE YOU OVER ALL THE TIME 174 00:07:38,262 --> 00:07:41,390 IF IT WEREN'T FOR MONICA'S ALLERGIES. 175 00:07:42,432 --> 00:07:43,434 YOU'RE RIGHT. 176 00:07:43,517 --> 00:07:45,394 I COULD NEVER LIE TO YOU. 177 00:07:45,477 --> 00:07:47,230 SHE HATES YOU. 178 00:07:49,273 --> 00:07:51,359 SHOULD I GET THAT? 179 00:07:52,651 --> 00:07:54,445 HELLO. 180 00:07:54,528 --> 00:07:56,530 UH, NO, JOEY'S NOT HERE RIGHT NOW. 181 00:07:56,613 --> 00:07:58,365 CAN I TAKE A MESSAGE? 182 00:07:58,448 --> 00:08:01,953 YEAH, OKAY, SO THE AUDITION'S BEEN MOVED FROM 5:00 TO 2:30. 183 00:08:02,036 --> 00:08:04,788 OKAY, GREAT. BYE. 184 00:08:12,796 --> 00:08:14,715 AREN'T YOU DRESSED YET? 185 00:08:14,798 --> 00:08:17,844 AM I NAKED AGAIN? 186 00:08:17,927 --> 00:08:21,388 WE'RE SUPPOSED TO MEET MY PARENTS IN 15 MINUTES. 187 00:08:21,471 --> 00:08:23,308 YEAH, OKAY, I WAS JUST TALKING TO THE GUYS. 188 00:08:23,391 --> 00:08:24,517 LOOK AT THEM. 189 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:26,644 I MEAN, IS IT OKAY IF THEY COME VISIT? 190 00:08:26,727 --> 00:08:28,354 WHAT ABOUT MY ALLERGIES? 191 00:08:28,437 --> 00:08:30,606 OH, RIGHT. 192 00:08:30,689 --> 00:08:32,149 YOUR ALLERGIES. 193 00:08:33,483 --> 00:08:35,986 ALL HER. SHE HATES YOU. 194 00:08:46,414 --> 00:08:48,291 OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH. 195 00:08:48,374 --> 00:08:50,376 YES! HA-HA-HA! 196 00:08:51,877 --> 00:08:53,546 HEY, HOW COOL WOULD IT BE 197 00:08:53,629 --> 00:08:56,216 IF YOU COULD WATCH, LIKE, A REAL LIFE-SIZED VERSION OF THIS, HUH? 198 00:08:56,299 --> 00:08:57,758 I MEAN, HOW CRAZY WOULD THAT BE? 199 00:08:57,841 --> 00:09:00,261 AS CRAZY AS SOCCER? 200 00:09:04,514 --> 00:09:05,933 HELLO. 201 00:09:06,016 --> 00:09:07,393 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 202 00:09:07,476 --> 00:09:09,061 THE AUDITION'S NOT TILL 5:00. 203 00:09:12,022 --> 00:09:14,525 WELL, NOBODY TOLD ME. 204 00:09:14,608 --> 00:09:16,944 WHO'D YOU TALK TO? 205 00:09:21,073 --> 00:09:23,034 NEVER MIND. 206 00:09:23,117 --> 00:09:26,412 YOU MEAN, YOU DIDN'T GET IT FROM THIS? 207 00:09:26,495 --> 00:09:29,123 THE ALLERGY GUY GOT THE PART. THANKS. 208 00:09:29,206 --> 00:09:31,584 WELL, MAYBE WE CAN FIX IT, YOU KNOW. 209 00:09:31,667 --> 00:09:35,629 MAYBE WE CAN SEND HIM SOME, SOME BIG, BIG FLOWERS AND SCARE HIM. 210 00:09:35,712 --> 00:09:37,464 HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME, CHANDLER? 211 00:09:37,547 --> 00:09:39,967 THIS PART COULD HAVE TURNED MY WHOLE CAREER AROUND. 212 00:09:40,050 --> 00:09:41,802 I MESSED UP, OKAY? 213 00:09:41,885 --> 00:09:43,554 I'M SORRY. I REALLY MESSED UP. 214 00:09:43,637 --> 00:09:45,181 YOU DON'T EVEN LIVE HERE ANYMORE. 215 00:09:45,264 --> 00:09:47,016 WHY ANSWER MY PHONE? I HAVE A MACHINE. 216 00:09:47,099 --> 00:09:48,434 WHICH I BOUGHT FOR YOU. 217 00:09:49,935 --> 00:09:51,520 TAUGHT YOU HOW TO USE IT. 218 00:09:51,603 --> 00:09:53,481 YOU THOUGHT IT WAS A COPIER. 219 00:09:55,149 --> 00:09:57,777 LOOK, IF THERE WAS ANYTHING I COULD DO, I WOULD DO IT, OKAY? 220 00:09:57,860 --> 00:09:59,736 BUT EVERYBODY'S ALLOWED ONE MISTAKE, RIGHT? 221 00:10:00,821 --> 00:10:02,531 YOU KNOW, HE COULD HAVE GOT ME A VCR 222 00:10:02,614 --> 00:10:03,908 OR A SET OF GOLF CLUBS. 223 00:10:03,991 --> 00:10:06,035 BUT, NO, HE HAS TO GET ME THE WOMAN REPELLER. 224 00:10:07,619 --> 00:10:10,081 THE EYESORE FROM THE LIBERACE HOUSE OF CRAP! 225 00:10:10,164 --> 00:10:11,165 NOT THAT BAD. 226 00:10:11,248 --> 00:10:12,666 OH, YEAH, EASY FOR YOU TO DAY. 227 00:10:12,749 --> 00:10:14,210 YOU DON'T HAVE TO WALK AROUND 228 00:10:14,293 --> 00:10:16,503 SPOTTING SOME REJECT FROM THE MR. T COLLECTION. 229 00:10:16,586 --> 00:10:17,922 CHANDLER, CHANDLER… 230 00:10:18,005 --> 00:10:20,258 I PITY THE FOOL WHO PUTS ON MY JEWELRY. 231 00:10:20,341 --> 00:10:22,260 I DO! I DO! I PITY THE FOOL 232 00:10:22,343 --> 00:10:23,927 IF I… 233 00:10:25,513 --> 00:10:29,516 WHEN YOU WERE LATE LAST NIGHT, KATHY AND I GOT TO TALKING 234 00:10:29,599 --> 00:10:32,312 AND… ONE THING LED TO ANOTHER, AND… 235 00:10:32,395 --> 00:10:33,687 AND WHAT? 236 00:10:33,770 --> 00:10:34,981 DID YOU SLEEP WITH HER? 237 00:10:35,064 --> 00:10:36,816 NO, NO, NO. I JUST KISSED HER. 238 00:10:36,899 --> 00:10:39,068 WHAT? THAT'S EVEN WORSE! 239 00:10:39,151 --> 00:10:40,611 HOW IS THAT WORSE? 240 00:10:40,694 --> 00:10:42,613 I DON'T KNOW, BUT IT'S THE SAME. 241 00:10:42,696 --> 00:10:44,531 YOU'RE RIGHT. I HAVE NO EXCUSES. 242 00:10:44,614 --> 00:10:46,200 I WAS TOTALLY OVER THE LINE. 243 00:10:46,283 --> 00:10:47,327 OVER THE LINE? 244 00:10:47,410 --> 00:10:48,995 YOU'RE SO FAR PAST THE LINE 245 00:10:49,078 --> 00:10:51,038 THAT YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE THE LINE. 246 00:10:51,121 --> 00:10:52,748 THE LINE IS A DOT TO YOU. 247 00:10:53,957 --> 00:10:55,126 LOOK, I'M NOT SAYING 248 00:10:55,209 --> 00:10:57,003 YOU SHOULD MAGICALLY FORGIVE ME 249 00:10:57,086 --> 00:10:58,296 BUT YOU'RE NOT PERFECT. 250 00:10:58,379 --> 00:11:00,547 YOU'VE MADE SOME ERRORS IN JUDGMENT, TOO. 251 00:11:00,630 --> 00:11:01,965 NAME ONE. 252 00:11:03,217 --> 00:11:04,635 WHAT HAPPENED? 253 00:11:04,718 --> 00:11:09,474 OH, MAN! HE PROMISED HE WOULDN'T TAKE THE CHAIRS. 254 00:11:09,557 --> 00:11:10,808 WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? 255 00:11:10,891 --> 00:11:12,059 HOW WERE YOU LOCKED IN 256 00:11:12,142 --> 00:11:14,561 AND WHERE THE HELL'S ALL OF OUR STUFF? 257 00:11:14,644 --> 00:11:16,647 WELL, THIS GUY CAME BY TO LOOK AT THE UNIT 258 00:11:16,730 --> 00:11:18,065 AND HE SAID HE DIDN'T THINK 259 00:11:18,148 --> 00:11:19,984 IT WAS BIG ENOUGH TO FIT A GROWN MAN. 260 00:11:20,067 --> 00:11:23,279 SO… YOU GOT IN VOLUNTARILY? 261 00:11:23,362 --> 00:11:25,614 I WAS TRYING TO MAKE A SALE. 262 00:11:25,697 --> 00:11:28,201 OH, MAN. IF I EVER RUN INTO THAT GUY AGAIN 263 00:11:28,284 --> 00:11:29,660 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO? 264 00:11:29,743 --> 00:11:30,744 BEND OVER? 265 00:11:32,162 --> 00:11:33,247 THERE'S LORRAINE. 266 00:11:33,330 --> 00:11:34,665 OKAY, NOW, REMEMBER… 267 00:11:34,748 --> 00:11:35,958 NO TRADING. 268 00:11:36,041 --> 00:11:38,211 YOU GET THE PRETTY ONE, I GET THE MESS. 269 00:11:38,294 --> 00:11:39,670 HI, JOEY. 270 00:11:39,753 --> 00:11:40,754 HEY. 271 00:11:43,090 --> 00:11:46,551 WELL, WELL, LOOK WHAT YOU BROUGHT. 272 00:11:46,634 --> 00:11:48,888 AND WHAT DID YOU BRING? 273 00:11:48,971 --> 00:11:50,806 SHE'S CHECKING HER COAT. 274 00:11:50,889 --> 00:11:55,019 JOEY, I'M GOING TO GO WASH THE CAB SMELL OFF MY HANDS. 275 00:11:55,102 --> 00:11:57,480 WILL YOU GET ME A WHITE ZINFANDEL 276 00:11:57,563 --> 00:11:59,898 AND A GLASS OF RED FOR JANICE. 277 00:12:04,528 --> 00:12:05,695 JANICE? 278 00:12:07,448 --> 00:12:09,616 JANICE? 279 00:12:09,699 --> 00:12:15,206 OH… MY… GOD. 280 00:12:15,289 --> 00:12:16,707 JOEY'S TAILOR… 281 00:12:16,790 --> 00:12:18,583 TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME. 282 00:12:18,666 --> 00:12:20,585 WHAT? 283 00:12:20,668 --> 00:12:22,129 NO WAY. 284 00:12:22,212 --> 00:12:24,257 I'VE BEEN GOING TO THE GUY FOR 12 YEARS. 285 00:12:24,340 --> 00:12:26,633 OH, COME ON. HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO DO MY INSEAM. 286 00:12:26,716 --> 00:12:28,635 THEN HE RAN HIS HAND UP MY LEG 287 00:12:28,718 --> 00:12:30,721 AND THEN, THERE WAS DEFINITE… 288 00:12:30,804 --> 00:12:31,805 WHAT? 289 00:12:31,888 --> 00:12:33,098 CUPPING. 290 00:12:36,143 --> 00:12:39,897 THAT'S HOW THEY DO PANTS. 291 00:12:39,980 --> 00:12:41,232 ROSS, WILL YOU TELL HIM? 292 00:12:41,315 --> 00:12:43,692 ISN'T THAT HOW A TAILOR MEASURES PANTS? 293 00:12:43,775 --> 00:12:46,028 YES, YES, IT IS… IN PRISON! 294 00:12:49,697 --> 00:12:51,867 I SAID, "NAME ONE." 295 00:12:58,748 --> 00:12:59,792 I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID THIS. 296 00:12:59,875 --> 00:13:00,793 WHAT AN IDIOT. 297 00:13:00,876 --> 00:13:02,753 OH, STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP. 298 00:13:02,836 --> 00:13:04,380 PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES. 299 00:13:04,463 --> 00:13:06,006 THESE THINGS HAPPEN. 300 00:13:06,089 --> 00:13:08,593 THERE AREN'T ANY MESSAGES 301 00:13:08,676 --> 00:13:11,011 THAT YOU'VE FORGOTTEN TO GIVE ME, ARE THERE? 302 00:13:11,094 --> 00:13:13,722 WELL, APPARENTLY, YOU'RE NOT VERY GOOD AT IT. 303 00:13:13,805 --> 00:13:15,849 DO YOU THINK HE'LL EVER FORGIVE ME? 304 00:13:15,932 --> 00:13:17,560 OF COURSE HE WILL, BUT, CHANDLER 305 00:13:17,643 --> 00:13:19,895 THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS THAT YOU FORGIVE YOURSELF. 306 00:13:19,978 --> 00:13:20,938 YOU KNOW WHAT? 307 00:13:21,021 --> 00:13:22,148 I KIND OF HAVE. 308 00:13:22,231 --> 00:13:23,441 ALREADY? 309 00:13:23,524 --> 00:13:25,568 THAT WAS PRETTY BAD, WHAT YOU DID. 310 00:13:25,651 --> 00:13:26,569 OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? 311 00:13:26,652 --> 00:13:27,736 HE WILL FORGIVE YOU 312 00:13:27,819 --> 00:13:29,572 AND I LIKE TO BRING A PAD WITH ME 313 00:13:29,655 --> 00:13:31,991 WHEN I GO ANSWER THE PHONE, JUST IN CASE. 314 00:13:32,074 --> 00:13:33,242 OKAY. 315 00:13:33,325 --> 00:13:35,369 YOU DIDN'T SEE HOW MAD HE WAS, YOU KNOW? 316 00:13:35,452 --> 00:13:36,912 I'M SURE HE WILL FORGIVE YOU. 317 00:13:36,995 --> 00:13:38,331 LOOK, WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE. 318 00:13:38,414 --> 00:13:40,082 YOU KNOW, YOU FIGHT; YOU MAKE UP… 319 00:13:40,165 --> 00:13:41,708 THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT WORKS. 320 00:13:41,791 --> 00:13:43,169 IT TOOK TWO PEOPLE 321 00:13:43,252 --> 00:13:45,588 TO BREAK UP THIS RELATIONSHIP. 322 00:13:45,671 --> 00:13:47,673 YEAH, YOU AND THAT GIRL FROM THE COPY PLACE 323 00:13:47,756 --> 00:13:50,176 WHICH, YESTERDAY, YOU TOOK FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR. 324 00:13:50,259 --> 00:13:51,552 I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS 325 00:13:51,635 --> 00:13:53,429 TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR, OKAY? 326 00:13:53,512 --> 00:13:55,222 I DIDN'T FINISH THE WHOLE LETTER. 327 00:13:55,305 --> 00:13:55,848 WHAT? 328 00:13:55,931 --> 00:13:57,099 I FELL ASLEEP. 329 00:13:57,182 --> 00:13:59,768 YOU FELL ASLEEP? 330 00:13:59,851 --> 00:14:02,605 IT WAS 5:30 IN THE MORNING 331 00:14:02,688 --> 00:14:07,651 AND YOU HAD RAMBLED ON FOR 18 PAGES. 332 00:14:09,236 --> 00:14:11,572 FRONT AND BACK! 333 00:14:12,781 --> 00:14:14,492 OH-OH-OH, AND BY THE WAY 334 00:14:14,575 --> 00:14:16,827 Y-O-U APOSTROPHE R-E 335 00:14:16,910 --> 00:14:18,287 MEANS "YOU ARE." 336 00:14:18,370 --> 00:14:20,164 Y-O-U-R MEANS "YOUR." 337 00:14:20,247 --> 00:14:21,790 HA! YOU KNOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE 338 00:14:21,873 --> 00:14:24,669 I EVEN THOUGHT OF GETTING BACK TOGETHER WITH YOU. 339 00:14:24,752 --> 00:14:26,128 WE ARE SO OVER. 340 00:14:26,211 --> 00:14:27,963 OH… OH… OH… 341 00:14:28,046 --> 00:14:29,298 FINE BY ME! 342 00:14:29,381 --> 00:14:32,552 AND HEY, JUST SO YOU KNOW… 343 00:14:32,635 --> 00:14:33,886 IT'S NOT THAT COMMON 344 00:14:33,969 --> 00:14:35,971 IT DOESN'T HAPPEN TO EVERY GUY 345 00:14:36,054 --> 00:14:38,391 AND IT IS A BIG DEAL! 346 00:14:38,474 --> 00:14:41,810 I KNEW IT! 347 00:14:41,893 --> 00:14:43,604 YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO GO OUT WITH HIM. 348 00:14:43,687 --> 00:14:45,398 THAT IS THE MOST RIDICULOUS… 349 00:14:45,481 --> 00:14:46,899 YOU SOLD ME OUT! 350 00:14:46,982 --> 00:14:47,858 I DID NOT! 351 00:14:47,941 --> 00:14:48,901 YES, YOU DID! 352 00:14:48,984 --> 00:14:50,902 WOULD YOU LET ME TALK? 353 00:14:53,781 --> 00:14:55,741 DID YOU JUST FLICK ME? 354 00:14:55,824 --> 00:14:58,452 OKAY, WELL, YOU WOULDN'T LET ME FINISH 355 00:14:58,535 --> 00:14:59,620 AND I WAS JUST… 356 00:14:59,703 --> 00:15:01,371 OW! THAT HURT! OW! 357 00:15:03,457 --> 00:15:04,709 OH! ALL RIGHT. OKAY. 358 00:15:04,792 --> 00:15:06,543 LET'S NOT DO THIS! LET'S NOT DO THIS! 359 00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:09,922 HAPPY THOUGHTS! 360 00:15:10,005 --> 00:15:11,507 HAPPY THOUGHTS! 361 00:15:11,590 --> 00:15:12,633 NO! NO! 362 00:15:12,716 --> 00:15:13,634 STOP IT! 363 00:15:13,717 --> 00:15:15,177 OH! OH! 364 00:15:15,260 --> 00:15:17,137 NOW I'M GOING TO KICK SOME ASS! 365 00:15:19,348 --> 00:15:20,266 OW! 366 00:15:20,349 --> 00:15:21,684 OW! 367 00:15:21,767 --> 00:15:23,603 OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! 368 00:15:23,686 --> 00:15:25,271 OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! 369 00:15:25,354 --> 00:15:26,772 ALL RIGHT. 370 00:15:26,855 --> 00:15:29,942 NOW, I WILL LET GO IF YOU BOTH STOP. 371 00:15:30,025 --> 00:15:32,069 FINE. 372 00:15:32,152 --> 00:15:33,362 FINE. 373 00:15:33,445 --> 00:15:34,739 THERE WE GO. 374 00:15:34,822 --> 00:15:36,073 YOU KNOW WHAT? 375 00:15:36,156 --> 00:15:37,408 IF WE WERE IN PRISON 376 00:15:37,491 --> 00:15:39,909 YOU GUYS WOULD BE, LIKE, MY BITCHES. 377 00:15:48,084 --> 00:15:50,713 OKAY, BUDDY BOY, HERE IT IS. 378 00:15:50,796 --> 00:15:55,801 YOU HIDE MY CLOTHES, I'M WEARING EVERYTHING YOU OWN. 379 00:15:55,884 --> 00:15:58,262 OH, MY GOD! 380 00:15:58,345 --> 00:15:59,597 LOOK AT ME! 381 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:00,889 I'M CHANDLER! 382 00:16:00,972 --> 00:16:02,141 COULD I BE WEARING 383 00:16:02,224 --> 00:16:04,518 ANY MORE CLOTHES? 384 00:16:04,601 --> 00:16:07,187 MAYBE IF I WASN'T GOING COMMANDO… 385 00:16:10,273 --> 00:16:13,235 WHOO! I TELL YOU, IT'S HOT WITH ALL THIS STUFF ON. 386 00:16:13,318 --> 00:16:16,238 I… I BETTER NOT DO ANY, I DON'T KNOW, LUNGES. 387 00:17:07,915 --> 00:17:10,334 JOEY… 388 00:17:10,417 --> 00:17:12,628 GOT YOU THE JOEY SPECIAL… 389 00:17:12,711 --> 00:17:14,672 TWO PIZZAS. 390 00:17:14,755 --> 00:17:15,755 JOE? 391 00:17:18,258 --> 00:17:19,677 HELLO. 392 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:20,928 DAMN IT! 393 00:17:22,763 --> 00:17:24,014 HELLO. 394 00:17:24,097 --> 00:17:26,058 NO, JOEY'S NOT HERE RIGHT NOW 395 00:17:26,141 --> 00:17:28,561 BUT I CAN TAKE A MESSAGE… I THINK. 396 00:17:28,644 --> 00:17:30,896 HE'S STILL GOT A CHANCE FOR THE PART? 397 00:17:30,979 --> 00:17:32,356 OH, THAT'S GREAT NEWS! 398 00:17:32,439 --> 00:17:34,734 WELL, NO, OBVIOUSLY NOT FOR THE ACTOR 399 00:17:34,817 --> 00:17:36,443 WHO WAS MAULED BY HIS DOG. 400 00:17:36,526 --> 00:17:37,986 OH, WELL, THAT'S GREAT. 401 00:17:38,069 --> 00:17:39,864 I WILL GIVE JOEY THE MESSAGE. 402 00:17:39,947 --> 00:17:40,865 THANK YOU. 403 00:17:40,948 --> 00:17:43,367 YES! 404 00:17:43,450 --> 00:17:48,330 OKAY… MAC AUDITION 405 00:17:48,413 --> 00:17:52,376 AT 2:00… 406 00:17:52,459 --> 00:17:58,423 ALLERGY ACTOR ATTACKED… 407 00:18:03,762 --> 00:18:06,348 BY DOG 408 00:18:06,431 --> 00:18:10,978 NOT FLOWERS. 409 00:18:12,061 --> 00:18:13,062 OKAY. 410 00:18:17,317 --> 00:18:18,402 HEY. 411 00:18:18,485 --> 00:18:21,071 PLEASE TELL ME YOU GOT THE MESSAGE. 412 00:18:21,154 --> 00:18:22,364 WHAT MESSAGE? 413 00:18:22,447 --> 00:18:24,074 THE ACTOR PLAYING MAC COULDN'T DO IT. 414 00:18:24,157 --> 00:18:25,826 THEY NEEDED TO SEE YOU AT 2:00. 415 00:18:25,909 --> 00:18:26,827 WHAT? 416 00:18:26,910 --> 00:18:28,287 IT'S 6:00. 417 00:18:28,370 --> 00:18:29,872 I WROTE IT ON THE BOARD! 418 00:18:29,955 --> 00:18:31,081 I WROTE IT ON THE BOARD 419 00:18:31,164 --> 00:18:32,666 AND THEN I WENT ALL OVER NEW YORK CITY 420 00:18:32,749 --> 00:18:33,667 LOOKING FOR YOU. 421 00:18:33,750 --> 00:18:34,668 I WENT TO ROSS'S. 422 00:18:34,751 --> 00:18:36,169 I WENT TO THE COFFEEHOUSE. 423 00:18:36,252 --> 00:18:38,046 I WENT TO ANYPLACE THAT THEY MAKE SANDWICHES. 424 00:18:38,129 --> 00:18:40,925 I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS, CHANDLER. 425 00:18:41,008 --> 00:18:42,008 I'M SORRY. 426 00:18:42,091 --> 00:18:44,094 I-I-I-I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. 427 00:18:44,177 --> 00:18:45,930 WELL, Y-YOU MIGHT SAY… 428 00:18:46,013 --> 00:18:47,389 "CONGRATULATIONS." 429 00:18:47,472 --> 00:18:48,557 I SAW THE BOARD. 430 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:50,726 I WENT TO THE AUDITION. 431 00:18:50,809 --> 00:18:51,894 I GOT THE PART! 432 00:18:51,977 --> 00:18:53,437 IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY? 433 00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:55,188 I WAS REALLY WORRIED OVER HERE. 434 00:18:55,271 --> 00:18:56,899 OH, WELL, I'M SORRY. 435 00:18:56,982 --> 00:18:58,651 SOMETIMES THAT FAKE- OUT THING IS MEAN. 436 00:18:58,734 --> 00:19:00,360 OH, WOW, OKAY, MAN, I'M SORRY. 437 00:19:00,443 --> 00:19:02,404 I DID NOT MEAN TO MAKE YOU FEEL BAD. 438 00:19:02,487 --> 00:19:03,656 WELL, THAT'S GOOD… 439 00:19:03,739 --> 00:19:04,990 BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T… 440 00:19:05,073 --> 00:19:07,075 AND I'M INCREDIBLY HAPPY FOR YOU. 441 00:19:07,158 --> 00:19:09,369 THAT'S MEAN! 442 00:19:09,452 --> 00:19:10,955 YOU REALLY 443 00:19:11,038 --> 00:19:12,247 HAD ME GOING THERE. 444 00:19:12,330 --> 00:19:13,791 OH, WE COULD DO THIS ALL DAY. 445 00:19:13,874 --> 00:19:15,041 YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. 446 00:19:15,124 --> 00:19:16,836 OKAY, LOOK, LET'S TALK 447 00:19:16,919 --> 00:19:18,963 ABOUT WHAT A HUGE STAR I'M GOING TO BE. 448 00:19:19,046 --> 00:19:20,339 YOU ARE GOING TO BE A HUGE STAR. 449 00:19:20,422 --> 00:19:21,340 I'M GOING TO HUG YOU. 450 00:19:21,423 --> 00:19:22,341 YOU HUG ME. 451 00:19:22,424 --> 00:19:23,967 ALL RIGHT. 452 00:19:51,536 --> 00:19:53,539 HEY, DO WE DO THIS TOO MUCH? 453 00:19:53,622 --> 00:19:54,832 I THINK SO. 454 00:19:54,915 --> 00:19:56,165 YEAH, GET OFF ME. YEAH. 455 00:20:05,467 --> 00:20:06,927 "COME ON, CHEESE. 456 00:20:07,010 --> 00:20:08,136 "I'M NOT LEAVING WITHOUT YOU. 457 00:20:08,219 --> 00:20:09,889 "TRY ROUTING YOUR BACKUP POWER SOURCE 458 00:20:09,972 --> 00:20:11,264 THROUGH YOUR PRIMARY C.P.U." 459 00:20:11,347 --> 00:20:12,265 "I CAN'T. 460 00:20:12,348 --> 00:20:13,934 "MY CIRCUITS ARE FRIED. 461 00:20:14,017 --> 00:20:15,894 THEY'RE FRIED, I TELL YOU!" 462 00:20:17,771 --> 00:20:19,356 WOW. 463 00:20:19,439 --> 00:20:22,026 "WELL, THEN, I'LL JUST HAVE TO CARRY YOU." 464 00:20:22,109 --> 00:20:25,195 "THAT'LL BE A NEAT TRICK, WHEN YOU'RE… 465 00:20:25,278 --> 00:20:26,947 WHEN YOU'RE DEAD!" 466 00:20:28,239 --> 00:20:30,826 ROSS, YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL. 467 00:20:30,909 --> 00:20:33,161 THERE WAS JUST AN EXPLOSION, OKAY? 468 00:20:33,244 --> 00:20:35,163 MY HEARING WOULD BE IMPAIRED. 469 00:20:35,246 --> 00:20:36,957 I THOUGHT YOU WERE EXCELLENT. 470 00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:38,625 IN FACT, FOR A MINUTE THERE 471 00:20:38,708 --> 00:20:40,836 I WAS, LIKE, "OOH, WHERE'D ROSS GO?" 472 00:20:40,919 --> 00:20:42,504 THANK YOU 473 00:20:42,587 --> 00:20:44,548 AND I HAVE TO SAY, THAT FIRST SCENE 474 00:20:44,631 --> 00:20:46,050 WHERE YOU MEET MAC… 475 00:20:46,133 --> 00:20:47,051 OH, MY GOD. 476 00:20:47,134 --> 00:20:48,010 I MEAN… 477 00:20:48,093 --> 00:20:49,177 OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? 478 00:20:49,260 --> 00:20:51,013 I THINK THAT'S ENOUGH FOR TODAY. 479 00:20:51,096 --> 00:20:53,181 THANKS FOR YOUR HELP. 480 00:20:54,557 --> 00:20:55,935 HOLDING US BACK. 481 00:20:56,018 --> 00:20:58,269 TOTALLY.