THAT I JUST HATE.
YOU KNOW, A MASSAGE CLIENT GAVE ME THREE TICKETS
TO THE HELMUT PELTZ EXHIBIT AT THE MORGAN-CHASE MUSEUM.
NOW YOU'RE THINKING YOU'VE GOT TO SLEEP WITH HIM.
NO. NO, IT'S JUST THAT HE GAVE ME THREE TICKETS
AND THERE ARE SIX OF US.
I'LL GIVE UP MY TICKET. ME, TOO.
OKAY. THAT'S SO GENEROUS.
AND I THINK ROSS IS GENEROUS, TOO.
GREAT. OKAY, THEN IT'S JUST US GIRLS.
GREAT. GREAT.
SO WHAT-WHAT IS THE EXHIBIT?
IT'S MOSTLY JUST PHOTOGRAPHS OF, UM, LESBIAN LOVE SCENES
INTERSPERSED WITH VIDEO GAMES AND FREE SANDWICHES.
OH, MAN…
HEY.
HI THERE. HEY.
HEY, ROSS, LISTEN…
CHANDLER GOT YOU OUT OF GOING
TO THE LESBIAN/SANDWICH MUSEUM THIS WEEKEND.
THANKS, BUT I HAVE PLANS.
UH, ELIZABETH AND I ARE GOING OUT OF TOWN.
OH, THAT'S GREAT… THINK ABOUT ALL THE MONEY
THAT YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE.
WHY? WHAT?
WELL, HER FATHER PAYS YOU FOR BABY-SITTING, RIGHT?
NO. THAT'S FUNNY, BUT MAYBE IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON
YOU KNOW, LET IT GO, STOP IT.
BESIDES, RACHEL'S GOING OUT WITH ELIZABETH'S FATHER
SO, UH, HE'S MUCH OLDER THAN SHE IS.
LOOKS LIKE I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE INTERESTED IN FOSSILS, HUH?
ROSS, ALL THAT DOES IS REMIND US
THAT YOU ARE INTERESTED IN FOSSILS.
OKAY, OKAY. UH, WELL, UH
RACHEL'S GOING TO NEED TO YELLSWEET NOTHING'S IN HIS EAR, HUH?
ROSS…
OH, COME ON, YOU GUYS
THAT'S FUNNY, YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE HE'S GOING TO…
HE'S GOT, LIKE, A HEARING AID, YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE…
OH…
'CAUSE HE'S ALL OLD, YOU KNOW?
'KAY, LOOK, ROSS…
JUST SO YOU KNOW,
SINCE LIZZIE LIKES YOU SO MUCH
I'VE DECIDED TO ACCEPT THE FACT
THAT YOU'RE GOING OUT WITH HER.
REALLY? THAT… OKAY, THAT'S GREAT.
YEAH. BUT THEN I CHANGED MY MIND.
I'M FUNNY LIKE THAT.
SO I'VE TOLD LIZZIE
AND NOW I'M TELLING YOU…
I DON'T WANT YOU SEEING MY DAUGHTER ANYMORE.
ALL RIGHT, LOOK, I-I REALIZE IT UPSETS YOU…
YES, IT DOES.
BUT… ELIZABETH AND I ARE BOTH ADULTS
AND SO I DON'T THINK THERE'S REALLY ANYTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.
I'LL CALL THE UNIVERSITY AND TELL THEM ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP
AND HAVE YOU FIRED.
OH! A MAN WITH A PLAN.
THIS IS SO EXCITING.
YOU GET YOUR PICTURE BACK UP THERE
ON THE WALL OF FAME.
I KNOW.
IT WAS SO COOL WHEN I WAS UP THERE BEFORE.
ME AND JIM BELUSHI WOULD BE
CRACKING UP ABOUT SOMETHING.
THEN I GET FIRED
OFF DAYS OF OUR LIVES
AND HE TAKES ME DOWN.
NOW HE'S JUST LAUGHING AT ME.
LOOK AT HIM, THAT SMUG BELUSHI BASTARD.
OH, OKAY, MAYBE WHEN THEY PUT YOUR PICTURE BACK UP
THEY COULD PUT YOU NEXT TO MATT LAUER.
LOOK AT HIM JUST SMILING AT ME.
YEAH, I KNOW, WE'D BE GREAT TOGETHER.
OH… PSST.
HEY. SO, I'M BACK.
WHO ARE YOU?
JOEY TRIBBIANI.
FROM THE WALL?
OKAY, MAYBE THIS WILL JOG YOUR MEMORY, HUH?
HUH?
OKAY, ANYWAY, I'M READY TO GO BACK UP ON THE WALL.
I'M THE STAR OF A NEW TV SHOW.
SHOW ME IN THE TV BOOK.
WELL, IT'S NOT ON TV YET.
WELL, THEN IT'S NOT ON THE WALL YET.
OKAY, FINE. I WILL BRING YOU A TAPE, HUH?
SO, NOW, DO YOU HAVE
ANY OF MATT LAUER'S CLOTHES HERE, MAYBE?
JUST ONES THAT HAVEN'T BEEN CLEANED YET?
I LOVE MUSEUMS.
SOAKING UP ALL THE CULTURE.
YEAH.
WHERE DO YOU WANT TO START?
OH, THE GIFT SHOP!
YEAH!
HEY, AND THEN LUNCH.
OH, WAIT. YES
BUT I CAN'T EAT TOO MUCH.
PAUL'S TAKING ME OUT TO DINNER TONIGHT.
HE SAID HE HAS A BIG SURPRISE PLANNED.
OH, WOW. DO YOU THINK MAYBE HE'S GOING
TO TELL YOU HE'S GAY?
WHAT? NO. WHY?
NO REASON.
THAT WOULD JUST BE A REALLY BIG SURPRISE, RIGHT?
YOU CAN PUT THE AISLE OVER HERE
AND HAVE THE WEDDING CEREMONY RIGHT OVER HERE.
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD GET MARRIED HERE.
THIS WOULD BE A BEAUTIFUL PLACE TO GET MARRIED.
BUT I WOULDN'T PUT THE AISLE THERE
AND I WOULD NEVER HAVE THE CEREMONY THERE.
YOU'D HAVE THE CEREMONY UNDER THIS BIG BEAUTIFUL ARCH.
MAY I HELP YOU?
OH, SORRY.
DIDN'T MEAN TO INTERRUPT.
IT'S JUST SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SPACE.
DO YOU DO A LOT OF WEDDINGS HERE?
YES, WE'RE VERY POPULAR.
THERE'S A TWO-YEAR WAITING LIST. SORRY.
MONICA, YOU SHOULD
TOTALLY PUT YOUR NAME DOWN FOR THIS PLACE.
WHAT? ARE YOU CRAZY?
I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED.
I'M NOT EVEN ENGAGED.
BUT THERE'S A TWO-YEAR WAIT
AND THEN WHAT IF YOU GET ENGAGED IN TWO YEARS
AND THEN YOU'VE GOT TO WAIT ANOTHER TWO YEARS FOR THIS PLACE?
THAT'S FOUR YEARS.
CHANDLER'S NOT GOING TO WAIT THAT LONG.
HE'S GOING TO FIND SOMEBODY ELSE, YOU KNOW?
SOMEONE WHO DID PUT
THEIR NAME ON THE LIST.
AND IT CAN'T HURT TO PUT YOUR NAME DOWN.
IF IN TWO YEARS YOU'RE NOT ENGAGED
YOU JUST DON'T USE IT.
WELL, I GUESS THERE IS NO HARM IN PUTTING MY NAME DOWN.
I'M GOING TO DO IT, TOO.
ME, TOO.
REALLY? WHO WOULD YOU MARRY?
I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T HAVE ANYONE RIGHT NOW, YOU KNOW?
OH, PHEEBS.
DON'T FEEL TOO SORRY FOR ME.
AT LEAST MY BOYFRIEND ISN'T GAY.
PHOEBE, THAT'S NOT…
DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON YOURS.
HEY.
SO, DID YOU WATCH THE TAPE OF MY SHOW?
I DID.
ALL RIGHT. LET'S GET ME BACK UP THERE.
NO, YOU DON'T GO UP ON THE WALL.
WHAT?
BUT YOU SAW THE SHOW.
YES. IT WAS VERY OFFENSIVE TO MY PEOPLE.
DRY CLEANERS?
RUSSIANS. IT SHOWED THEM AS TERRORISTS AND VILLAINS.
OKAY, OKAY, LOOK
YOU GOT HARRISON FORD UP THERE.
THAT'S RIGHT.
MR. FORD IS A VERY GOOD CUSTOMER.
HE BRINGS US A LOT OF CLOTHES.
YOU BRING US NOTHING.
OKAY, WELL, THAT MAY BE TRUE
BUT IN AIR FORCE ONE, OKAY, THE RUSSIANS WERE TERRORISTS
AND EVIL, AND PLUS HE KILLS A BUNCH OF THEM.
THAT'S OFFENSIVE TO RUSSIANS.
I'VE NEVER SEEN IT.
OH, YOU SHOULD. IT'S GREAT.
THIS PLACE IS REALLY BEAUTIFUL.
YEAH, I'VE BEEN COMING HERE SINCE I WAS A KID.
THIS USED TO BE MY GRANDMA'S.
WOW. THE ONLY THING I GOT FROM MY GRANDMOTHER WAS HER EYES.
I MEAN, NOT HER ACTUAL EYEBALLS
BUT PEOPLE SAY THAT MY EYES…
DO YOU WANT TO MAKE OUT?
SURE.
MM.
ARE YOU OKAY? WHAT'S WRONG?
UH, I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOUR FATHER.
WELL, WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOU.
NO, NO. UH…
HE JUST REALLY FREAKED ME OUT BEFORE.
OH. WELL, SO WE HAVE TO HIDE OUR RELATIONSHIP
FROM ONE MORE PERSON, BIG DEAL.
BESIDES, WE'VE HAD FUN HIDING IT.
YEAH.
MM.
HEY, UM, YOU BROUGHT PROTECTION, RIGHT?
WHY? ARE THERE, LIKE, BEARS OR SOMETHING?
NO.
OH. OH!
OH, PROTECTION.
NO, YEAH. NO, THAT-THAT I FORGOT.
I'LL JUST RUN TO THE STORE AND GET SOME.
NO, HEY, HEY, I'M THE GUY.
I'LL GET IT.
DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE STORE IS?
NO.
DO YOU WANT TO RIDE AROUND TOWN
ON MY LITTLE PINK BICYCLE?
A LITTLE BIT.
I'LL BE BACK IN TEN MINUTES. OKAY.
WHY DON'T YOU GET IN THE HOT TUB
AND I'LL MEET YOU THERE?
OKAY.
OH, MY GOD, WHAT A GREAT SURPRISE.
THIS IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE.
THANK YOU. IT USED TO BE MY MOTHER'S.
THIS IS THE KITCHEN.
You've reached Monica and Chandler's.
If you're listening to this message, we're probably screening.
YEAH, WE ARE.
Hi. This is Hildy from the Morgan-Chase museum.
I'm calling for Monica Geller.
I want to let her know that there was a cancellation
and if she's still interested
in having the Bing-Geller wedding in our facility
it is available…
THIS IS CHANDLER BING! THIS IS CHANDLER BING!
YES, THE GROOM. NO, NOT THE GROOM!
SO SECLUDED UP HERE. I KNOW.
THAT'S WHY I LIKE IT HERE.
MM-HMM. I FEEL LIKE WE'RE
THE ONLY TWO PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.
WHOOPS.
SORRY.
WHAT'S THE MATTER, HONEY?
DID YOU SEE A LITTLE MOUSE?
NO, NO. BIG BEAR.
BIG BEAR OUTSIDE.
I THOUGHT I HEARD A BEAR.
WOULD YOU GO CHECK ON THAT?
HONEY, WE DON'T HAVE
ANY BEARS HERE.
WELL, OKAY.
W-WOULD YOU GET ME A DIET COKE?
OKAY.
BE RIGHT BACK. OKAY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I CAME WITH PAUL.
YEAH, I RECOGNIZE THE ANKLES.
GET OUT. GET OUT.
HERE YOU GO, HONEY.
OH, THANK YOU.
DIET COKE.
OH… ICE.
I NEED ICE.
OKAY.
THANK YOU. BE RIGHT BACK.
OKAY.
YOU AND YOUR ICE.
OH! GET OUT!
GET OUT, GO. COME ON.
QUICK.
NO, NOT IN THERE. NOT IN THERE.
HE'S IN THERE.
DID YOU REALLY HEAR A BEAR?
GO!
HERE YOU GO, HONEY.
OH!
ONE DIET COKE WITH ICE.
OH, THANK YOU.
I AM… SO HAPPY THAT YOU'RE HERE.
HERE I AM!
ELIZABETH!
OH, LOOK! ELIZABETH'S HERE!
WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?
YOU GUYS?
HOW DID YOU KNOW WE WERE HERE?
UM…
WELL, SHE OBVIOUSLY SAW THE TIRE TRACKS
THAT WERE LEADING UP TO THE CLOSED GARAGE.
OBVIOUSLY.
ELIZABETH…
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
DID-DID-DID YOU COME UP HERE
TO WORK ON THAT TERM PAPER OR SOMETHING?
YEAH, YEAH.
WELL, WHY DON'T YOU, YOU KNOW
GO IN THAT ROOM AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK?
OH, I WOULDN'T DO IT IN THERE, UM
THAT'S MY DAD'S BEDROOM.
THAT'S YOUR… THAT'S YOUR DAD'S BEDROOM.
THAT'S YOUR DAD'S BEDROOM!
HO-HO!
WHY ARE YOU YELLING, RACHEL?
THAT DIET COKE, I THINK… JUST STRAIGHT TO MY HEAD.
WHOO!
HI, HONEY.
SEE YA LATER.
WHAT, I-I BOUGHT GROCERIES.
I WAS GOING TO MAKE YOU DINNER.
WELL, NEXT TIME, ASK.
OR, AT LEAST, WAIT FOR ME TO ASK.
Hi, this is Hildy from the Morgan-Chase Museum.
I'm calling for Monica Geller.
OH, NO.
I want to let her know that there was a cancellation
and if she's still interested
in having the Bing-Geller wedding
in our facility…
OH, PLEASE.
OH, PLEASE, HE DIDN'T HEAR IT.
HE DIDN'T HEAR IT!
This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing!
NO!
CAN I HELP YOU?
UH… YEAH. WHERE'S THE GUY
WHO DECIDES WHOSE PICTURES GO UP ON THE WALL?
HE'S NOT HERE RIGHT NOW.
OH, YOU'RE KIDDING ME.
ALL RIGHT, MAKE SURE YOU TELL HIM THAT JOEY TRIBBIANI
STOPPED BY TO DROP OFF ALL THESE CLOTHES. I'M AN ACTOR.
I'M TRYING TO GET MY PICTURE UP THERE ON THE WALL.
YOU KNOW, THERE ARE TWO PEOPLE
WHO COULD GET YOUR PICTURE UP THERE.
OH, REALLY?
WELL, MAYBE YOU AND I GO OUT FOR DRINKS.
YOU'RE THE OTHER ONE, RIGHT?
SO, LIZZIE, ARE YOU PLANNING ON STAYING THE NIGHT?
OH, NO, NO.
BELIEVE ME, I'M LEAVING AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
GOOD. GOOD.
NOT THAT WE DON'T WANT YOU TO STAY.
OBVIOUSLY, YOU'RE WELCOME.
HOW MUCH MORE HOMEWORK DO YOU HAVE?
UH, I JUST HAVE ONE PROBLEM LEFT
THAT I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO SOLVE.
UH, RACHEL, MAYBE YOU WANT TO COME UPSTAIRS
AND HELP ME FIGURE IT OUT?
REALLY?
OKAY.
OKAY, I-I'LL GO UPSTAIRS…
IF-IF YOU… GET ME SOMETHING FROM THE CAR.
WHAT DO YOU NEED FROM THE CAR?
SURPRISE ME.
SO, YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN THE CAR
I WILL BE UPSTAIRS
AND THAT'S WHERE EVERYBODY'S GOING TO BE!
JUST RELAX, JUST RELAX.
PAUL, YOU'RE DOING GREAT.
SHE LIKES YOU.
SHE…
I THINK SHE LIKES YOU.
SHE LIKES YOU.
YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE YOU'RE A…
NEAT GUY.
YOU ARE THE MAN.
YOU ARE THE MAN!
STILL GOT IT.
STILL SEXY.
YOU'RE JUST A LOVE MACHINE.
SHOW TIME.
PHOEBE… YEAH?
HAVE YOU SEEN CHANDLER?
NO, WHY?
THE WOMAN FROM THE MUSEUM CALLED
AND SAID THAT THERE WAS A CANCELLATION
AND THAT WE COULD MOVE UP OUR WEDDING
AND CHANDLER HEARD.
I KNOW.
HOW BAD IS THIS?
WELL, WITH A REGULAR GUY, IT'S BAD.
WITH CHANDLER… OH, DEAR GOD!
I KNOW, I KNOW.
AND HE TOTALLY FREAKED OUT
AND I CAN'T FIND HIM ANYWHERE.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
I'M NEVER GOING TO LISTEN TO YOU AGAIN
THAT'S FOR SURE.
AND WHAT HARM CAN IT DO
IF YOU JUST PUT YOUR NAME DOWN?
RACHEL SAID THAT.
WELL, RACHEL'S NOT HERE!
OH, HERE IT IS!
OOH, JOEY, WHY DID YOU SIGN IT "SON OF A BITCH"?
I DIDN'T DO THAT.
WHO WOULD'VE DONE THAT?
SON OF A BITCH!
OKAY, MAYBE ASK THIS GUY.
YOU…
GET OUT OF MY SHOP!
WHAT DID HE DO?
HE WENT OUT WITH MY WIFE!
JOEY!
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
HEY, I DID NOT GO OUT WITH YOUR WIFE, OKAY?
I WENT OUT WITH HER.
THAT'S MY WIFE!
GET OUT!
WELL, WE SHOULD GO.
YEAH.
ROSS?
ELIZABETH.
OKAY… OKAY…
I'M GOING TO GO OUT THIS WINDOW.
I'LL MEET YOU AT THE FRONT DOOR.
TELL THEM YOU'RE GOING HOME, OKAY?
OKAY.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!
NO, DON'T GO IN THERE!
DON'T GO IN THERE!
I NEED ANOTHER SODA.
ROSS!
OH, MY GOD! ROSS!
WHAT IN HEAVEN'S NAME ARE YOU DOING HERE?
AND THAT IS WHY
WE CANNOT SEE EACH OTHER ANYMORE.
ROSS…
YOU AND I ARE GOING TO HAVE TO HAVE A LITTLE TALK.
DADDY, UH… YOU'RE NEXT!
OKAY. I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS HERE.
LET ME JUST SEE IF I GOT THIS STRAIGHT.
I TELL YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER
OR I'LL HAVE YOU FIRED.
"TAKE MY DAUGHTER, COME UP TO MY COUNTRY HOUSE
AND RUIN MY WEEKEND WITH RACHEL."
OKAY, PLEASE, PLEASE, PAUL.
JUST LET ME EXPLAIN…
NO, LET ME EXPLAIN!
FIRED!
OKAY, FINE, FINE.
HAVE ME FIRED.
BUT, UH, I WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT YOU AND I ARE NOT ALL THAT DIFFERENT.
I MEAN…
I, TOO, AM A NEAT GUY.
WHAT?
AND I, TOO
AM JUST A LOVE MACHINE.
ROSS…
LET ME SHOW YOU WHERE THE GUEST ROOM IS.
I'M SO SORRY.
PLEASE STOP FREAKING OUT.
I'M NOT FREAKING OUT.
WHY WOULD I BE FREAKING OUT?
A WOMAN NAMED HILDY CALLED TO SAY WE WERE GETTING MARRIED
BUT THAT HAPPENS EVERY DAY.
WAH-AHHH-AHHH!
HONEY, WE WERE AT THIS BEAUTIFUL PLACE
AND I JUST PUT OUR NAMES DOWN FOR FUN.
I MEAN, WHAT'S THE HARM IN THAT?
RIGHT HERE.
CHANDLER, PLEASE DON'T THINK I WAS TRYING TO PRESSURE YOU.
PHOEBE AND RACHEL JUST THOUGHT THAT…
PHOEBE AND RACHEL…
SO THE PEOPLE THAT KNEW ABOUT OUR WEDDING BEFORE ME
WERE YOU, PHOEBE AND RACHEL
HILDY, AND APPARENTLY SOME BAND
CALLED THE STARLIGHT MAGIC SEVEN
WHO ARE AVAILABLE, BY THE WAY.
IT WAS A MISTAKE.
PLEASE DON'T TAKE THIS TO MEAN ANYTHING
BECAUSE IT DOESN'T.
OKAY.
REALLY?
YES, IF IT REALLY DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING
BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT I'M JUST NOT READY…
I KNOW. I KNOW.
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
NOW I'M GOING TO GO TELL JOEY THAT YOU'RE BACK.
HE WAS REALLY WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
HEY, DID SHE BUY IT?
TOTALLY.
SO DID HILDY SHOW YOU THE PLACE?
YEAH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE GOING TO ASK MONICA TO MARRY YOU.
I KNOW.
HEY, GUNTHER.
TAKE THESE CAPPUCCINOS TO TABLE ELEVEN
AND THAT GUY OVER THERE WANTS SOME BISCOTTI.
OH, UH, WELL, I JUST, ACTUALLY, CAME IN
FOR A CUP OF COFFEE TO GO.
DO YOU STILL WORK HERE?
NO, NO, I QUIT A LONG TIME AGO.
DID I FORGET TO TELL YOU THAT? I'M SORRY.
NO, THAT'S COOL. I WAS GOING TO FIRE YOU ANYWAY.
GREAT!