Yeah, you didn't get one.
Okay. Well, tonight's the big night.
Hey, listen, how you going to ask her?
It is going to be perfect.
I am taking her to her favorite restaurant.
I'm going to get her a bottle of the champagne
that she really loves therefore knows how expensive it is.
Then, when the glasses are full
instead of proposing a toast, I'm just going to propose.
Oh-h.
It sounds perfect. Yeah.
You're going to mess it up. Let me do it.
I'm not going to mess it up.
If she says no, can I have the ring?
She's not going to say no.
If.
Hey. Hey.
Hi, Monica.
Give it. It's gone.
Phoebe.
Hey, Monica.
We're practically kissing.
Hey. Hey.
Are any of you guys free tonight?
My boss is hosting this charity event
for underprivileged kids
and the more people I bring, the better I look.
So, Monica, Chandler.
Well, Monica and Chandler can't go.
We're going to dinner, remember?
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
What's the big deal?
I just get mad when
Rachel doesn't remember where we're going.
Where are you going?
How about you guys? Open bar?
I think so.
I can do that for the kids.
Yeah, you know what? I'll come, too.
I'm making money now.
It's about time I give something back.
Well, you could also give back the money you owe me.
Okay…have a benefit.
Hey.
Hey, Ross, listen, can you
come to a charity event tonight?
Oh, no, I have plans with Elizabeth.
Oh, so you're already doing your part for the kids.
Sorry, it's just one of our last nights together
before she leaves for camp to be a counselor.
Ross, let me ask you a question.
All jokes aside, where is this relationship going?
Wait a minute. All jokes aside?
I didn't agree to that.
Do you really see this as a long-term thing?
I don't know.
You know, you are 12 years older than her.
Wait a minute, d-does everyone feel this way?
Yeah. Sort of.
Yeah, Sorry.
Oh, wow, uh.
I thought you guys were like just making jokes.
I had no idea.
Well, you know what? You guys are wrong.
Yes, there is a chronological age difference
but I never notice it.
You know why? Because she is very mature.
Besides, it doesn't really matter to me
what you guys think.
I mean I'm the one dating Elizabeth, not you.
Not what she said last night.
Yeah. See, now, he could date her.
Will you marry me?
Hey, you marry me.
What's going on, Little Elves?
It's the big night. We wanted to wish you good luck.
Yeah, yeah. You have the ring?
Yeah, right here in my pocket.
Oh.
Pheebs. What? Oh. O-op.
Okay, now, will you guys get out of here?
I want this to be a surprise
and she's going to know.
Yeah, yeah, you guys, get out of here.
Hey. Hi, guys.
You look beautiful. Mm. Thank you.
What's going on?
We're just really ex..
…excited about this charity event
that we have to go to.
Here. Oh, thank you.
So, now, what's going on here?
Uh, well, uh, this is a silent auction.
They lay out all the stuff here
and then you write down your offer
and then the highest bid gets it.
No, I know what a silent auction is.
I meant, what's going on with your hair?
Uh, w-why?
No, it's nice.
Nice to see you, Rachel. Oh.
So glad you brought someone.
Oh, someone? I brought people.
Mr. Thompson, this is Phoebe.
Phoebe, this is Mr. Thompson.
He's the head of my department.
And I also brought my friend Joey.
Oh, shrimp toast.
Uh, you know, I-I don't know where he is.
Well, I hope you're going to bid on some things, Rachel.
Well, you know what, actually I was about to bid
on this lovely trip to Paris.
Oh, nice choice. Yeah.
Good luck. Thank you.
Ha. Okay.
Twenty dollars.
Shut the door, shut the door.
W-What's going on?
The guys across the hall are throwing water balloons at us.
Oh, you have to call the police.
That's what I did to the kids in my building.
No, it's a water balloon fight.
We started it. Oh. Um…mmm.
Listen, um, I, I-I just stopped by
to see if you wanted to see this play tonight.
Um…it's supposed to be excellent.
The director is…
Who drank all the kamikazes?
Nobody. We put 'em in here!
You want some? No.
Okay, okay. Okay.
Okay. Look, can I, can I just
just talk to you for a second?
Yeah, sure.
Um, so this play, um
what do you think?
I-It's gotten great reviews, you know the…
Attack!
Put your balloons down.
You put your balloons down.
You put yours..
Everybody! Put their balloons down!
Now, this is a nice suit.
Our next item is the romantic trip to Paris.
It goes to Emil Alexander, with a high bid of $2,300.
Oh. So close.
Heya, guys, look.
I got me some drinks.
What are you doing?
Open bar.
And finally our biggest item of the night.
The 22-foot gentleman's daysailer sailboat.
The winning bid was a whopping $20,000.
O-oh.
I won.
That was my guess.
What? What? What?
I guessed $20,000.
Joey, it is an auction.
You don't guess, you buy.
What?
I don't have $20,000.
Congratulations on your new boat, Joey Tribbiani.
Joey, sit down.
Forget her. You enjoy this.
Wow. Wow.
What are you doing?
One nation, under God
indivisible with liberty and justice for all.
I remembered it.
The champagne is here.
Are you okay? Yes, yes, I'm good.
Are you good? Are you good?
Is everything, are you are y-you perfect, perfect?
Yeah. I'm okay.
I'm actually, I'm a little cold, though.
Can I, can I have your jacket?
Oh, yeah.
Uh, no, you can't have my jacket.
Because then I would be cold.
If you thought that you were going to be cold
you should have brought your own jacket.
But, uh, other than that are you okay?
Are you okay?
You're sure you're okay?
Yes. I'm fine.
In fact, I've been fine for a long time now
and I think…the reason is you.
Mm, that's sweet.
Okay, um.
Before I met you, I had really little life
and I couldn't imagine growing old with…
Oh, my God.
I know, but just let me say it.
Oh, my God, Richard.
What? I'm Chandler.
Oh, that's Richard.
Oh, God. Maybe he won't see us.
Richard!
Monica. Chandler.
Hey, hey.
I don't know why I did that.
Hey, it, it's good to see you.
You, too. You let your hair grow long.
Yeah, oh, that's right
you, you always wanted me to.
I see you got your mustache back.
Well, my nose got lonely.
And, uh, you don't have a mustache
which is good.
I'm Chandler, I make jokes
when I'm uncomfortable.
Oh, I'm sorry. Lisa.
Monica, Chandler. We used to date.
Richard, no one's supposed to know about us.
See, I did it again.
Chandler, w-why don't we sit down.
Yeah, I'll sit down.
It's good to see you.
Your table's ready, sir.
Oh. Good to see you guys. Yes.
Or, if you prefer this table's available.
That might be fun.
What were you thinking?
I didn't know it was an auction.
I figured I'd take a guess.
Help a charity, free boat.
Why would a charity give away a free boat?
I don't know…charity?
Oh.
Oh, just buy the damn boat.
Phoebe, don't you think you've had enough to drink?
I'm just helping the kids.
How is you drinking helping the kids?
Because the more I drink
the less there is for the kids to drink.
Mr. Tribbiani. Oh, hey.
Your generous contribution brings us a big step closer
to building the youth center.
Just out of curiosity
how, how much is that boat worth?
I think it was valued at $19,000.
I was pretty close.
Uh…so, bad news.
Um…I can't buy the boat.
I don't have any money.
Joey…Joey, good one.
You're silly.
Very good. Very good.
So, uh, listen I think I'm going to take off now.
Hey, y-you cannot leave, Joey.
You agreed to buy that boat, alright?
It is a contract.
Plus, if you leave, my boss is going to kill me.
What am I going to do, Rach?
I don't have that kind of money.
I know. Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Alright, alright. This is what we're going to do.
We are going to go to the next highest bidder
and we are just going to let them buy it
and then you're just going to pay the difference.
Okay, look, I don't know why the kids need
a youth center anyway, you know?
They should just watch TV after school, like I did
and I turned out fine.
Not great.
So we're hiding in the bathroom..
And then I sneak out
but, before Monica can, her parents come in.
Yeah, so I hide in the shower and, the next thing you know
they're going at it right on the bathroom floor.
Oh, my God.
I got a good one. I got a good one.
I once walked in on both my parents
making love to the same guy.
It's so great seeing you guys again.
I'd like to make a toast.
Uh…as a poet once said
"in the sweetness of friendship
"let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures
"for in the dew of little things
"the heart finds its morning
and is refreshed."
Oh.
What?
Oh, my God. You guys.
Before you say anything
have we got a story for you.
Guess who we bumped into at dinner.
Who? Richard.
Who? Oh.
I thought you were going out with Elizabeth.
Yeah, I was, but she was a little busy
with a water balloon fight.
Oh, Ross, sometimes, grownups have commitments
they just can't get out of.
You know, maybe she is too young for me.
When I was over there and she was
running around with her friends
I felt like I was a baby-sitter.
I finally started to see
what you guys were talking about.
I don't know what to do.
Why don't you just weigh out
the good stuff about the relationship
against the bad stuff?
I mean that's what I did when I first started..
…weighing stuff.
Okay, bad stuff:
Well, I'm-I'm 12 years older than she is.
If the school finds out, you're fired.
She's leaving for three months.
For camp.
Okay, good stuff.
Um…well, she's…she's sweet and pretty and..
Look, Ross, the only question you need to ask
is do you see a future?
I mean, like, do you see yourself marrying her?
Oh, my God, you did it already.
You married her, didn't you?
No, no, I didn't do that.
It's just..
Okay, honestly, no.
I don't…I don't see a big future with her.
Okay, well, I-I think that's your answer.
I got to talk to her.
Oh, I hate this part.
You have to forget about Elizabeth.
I mean, if you're not careful
you may not get married at all this year.
Rachel, Rachel.
Okay, the next highest bidder is at table one.
Oh, great. Yeah.
Oh, and the guy who got the Paris trip is at table four.
Oh, okay.
Why do you care about the guy
who won the Paris trip?
It's a trip for two.
Excuse me.
Excuse me, is the person who won the Paris trip at this table?
That was me. Oh. Enchante.
Uh…excuse me.
Is there a Mr. Bowmont at this table?
That's me. Oh, yeah.
Well, hello.
This is your lucky day, Mr. Bowmont.
The gentleman daysailer
has just become available again.
And I believe that you made a bid of $18,000.
Y-You have to pay that. It's not just a guess.
Okay.
I was actually relieved, uh
I didn't win the boat.
My wife would have killed me.
Are you kidding me? She's going to love this boat.
Yeah. What's your wife's name? It's Pam.
Pam. Oh, God. Just imagine this, the Pam.
Oh…ho-ho.
I don't think she'd like that.
Okay, i-imagine this, the Mr. Bowmont.
O-oh.
I don't think so, dear.
Okay, look, let me paint you a little picture.
Alright, you are setting sail up the Hudson.
You got the wind in your ha-arms.
You, you get all the peace and quiet
that you've always wanted.
You get back to nature.
You can go fishing.
You c-can get one of those little hats
and have people call you "captain."
And then, when you're old, "cappy."
What the hell. It's for a good cause. Alright.
No way. It's mine.
What? What?
All that stuff you just said, I want that!
Joey, you don't have $20,000.
Who cares? I'll make payments.
Whatever it takes. I want the Mr. Bowmont.
Oh, my God, you're back.
Oh, let me see it. Let me see your hand.
Why do you want to see my hand?
I want to see what's in your hand.
I want to see the trash.
Ew-w. O-oh, it's all dirty.
You should throw this out. Yeah.
Okay.
What did you guys just do?
What happened?
Richard was there, so I couldn't do it.
Oh, no. Oh.
I was going to do it tomorrow, you know, and surprise her.
But now you've ruined it. Oh, we didn't ruin it.
Who walks into a room and asks to see a person's hands?
Well, a palm reader, a manicurist
a hand doctor.
Glove salesman.
Good one. Yeah.
This is terrible. What am I going to do?
Look, she only suspects something, okay?
She doesn't know for sure
so just throw her off the track.
That's right. I could throw her off.
I could make her think that, uh
marriage was the last thing on my mind.
Yeah, convince her t-that you're scared of commitment.
I can do that. I've had 30 years of practice.
Hey, being you is finally going to pay off.
Oh, I had to go all the way to the basement
because some idiot keeps stuffing the trash chute
with pizza boxes.
That guy still doing that? Huh.
Hey. Oh, my God, you're here.
Let me see your hand. No, you're too late.
She already took out the trash.
Wow.
I have never had
such a healthy breakup.
She was such
a grownup about it.
She didn't seem too
immature for me.
Did I just make a huge mistake?
Ross, wait.
Elizabeth…thank God.
I was just thinking about…
You suck!
What?
Okay.
Breakup's still on.
Okay, okay, here she comes. How do I look?
Do I look like a guy who doesn't want to get married?
Yeah. And also a little like a French guy.
I never noticed that before.
Hey, guys.
Hey. Hey.
What are you up to? Oh, just hanging out.
Talking about websites.
Yeah.
Yeah, we saw this really interesting website
about marriage and how totally unnecessary it is
and how it's just a way for the government to keep tabs on you.
Yeah. Big brother.
Well, that's a little crazy.
Although I am, you know, glad to hear
that you're branching out on what you
look at on the internet.
You know, it just got me thinking, though.
Why would anybody ever want to get married, huh?
Why? To celebrate your relationship.
To solidify your commitment.
To declare your love for one another to the world.
Eh.
Okay, well, that's good to know.
Ah. The Mr. Bowmont's here!
Hey, Monica, there's a customer who wants
to compliment the chef.
Shall I let him in? Sure. I love this part.
Come on in.
Hi.
Richard.
Actually, I'm not here to compliment the chef.
Oh, that's okay.
I hate when people come back to compliment the chef.
Like I have nothing better to do.
So what's up?
Well, it was great seeing you the other night.
Yeah, it was good to see you, too.
Did you come down here to tell me that?
No. I came here to tell you something else.
I came here to tell you I still love you.