WHAT, UH
WHAT DID YOU…
WHAT?
I STILL LOVE YOU…
AND I KNOW I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE TELLING YOU THIS.
I MEAN, YOU'RE WITH CHANDLER, A GUY I REALLY LIKE…
AND IF YOU SAY HE'S STRAIGHT
I'LL BELIEVE YOU.
AFTER SEEING YOU THE OTHER NIGHT
I KNEW IF I DIDN'T TELL YOU
I'D REGRET IT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
LETTING YOU GO WAS THE STUPIDEST THING
I EVER DID.
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE REALLY NOT SUPPOSED TO BE BACK HERE.
UH, WELL, YOU KNOW, I'M SORRY.
I KNOW THIS IS THE WRONG TIME AND THE WRONG PLACE
BUT I HAD TO TELL YOU.
I WANT TO SPEND MY LIFE WITH YOU.
I WANT TO MARRY YOU.
I WANT TO HAVE KIDS WITH YOU.
OH, MY GOD.
WHY DON'T THEY PUT CHAIRS BACK HERE?
LOOK, I KNOW THIS IS CRAZY, BUT… AM I TOO LATE?
WELL, Y…
YES, YOU'RE TOO LATE.
I MEAN, WHERE WAS ALL THIS THREE YEARS AGO?
WELL, I KNOW, I WAS AN IDIOT…
AND I TRIED TO FORGET YOU.
I-I REALLY DID.
YOU KNOW, AFTER WE HAD LUNCH LAST YEAR
I SPENT SIX MONTHS IN AFRICA
TRYING TO GET YOU OUT OF MY HEAD.
WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN AFRICA?
WORKING WITH BLIND KIDS.
OH… WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?
OH, LOOK… I'M SORRY, BUT, UM… IT'S…
THIS IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
OKAY, THAT'S FINE.
I'LL WALK AWAY, AND I'LL NEVER BOTHER YOU AGAIN
BUT ONLY… IF YOU TELL ME THAT CHANDLER'S WILLING
TO GIVE YOU EVERYTHING I AM.
WELL, HE IS.
YEAH, I MEAN…
MARRIAGE IS ALL HE TALKS ABOUT.
OH, MY GOODNESS.
IN FACT, I'M THE ONE THAT'S MAKING HIM WAIT.
YOU ARE?
YEAH. WHY?
BECAUSE OF THE GOVERNMENT.
ISN'T IT INCREDIBLE?
YEAH.
MONICA AND CHANDLER ARE GETTING MARRIED.
I KNOW. THEY'RE GOING TO BE SO HAPPY TOGETHER.
OH… I MEAN
TWO BEST FRIENDS FALLING IN LOVE…
HOW OFTEN DOES THAT HAPPEN?
NOT THAT OFTEN.
NO.
I'M SO HAPPY FOR THEM.
ME, TOO…
SO HAPPY FOR THEM.
I'M SO HAPPY AND NOT AT ALL JEALOUS.
OH, NO.
OH, GOD, DEFINITELY.
NOT JEALOUS.
MM-MMM.
I MEAN, I'M PROBABLY 98% HAPPY
MAYBE TWO PERCENT JEALOUS…
AND, I MEAN, WHAT'S TWO PERCENT?
THAT'S NOTHING.
TOTALLY.
I'M LIKE 90%/10%.
YEAH, ME, TOO.
HEY, UH…
HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN CHANDLER?
WELL, NO, BUT YOU KNOW WHO DID STOP IN HERE
LOOKING FOR YOU?
UM, TENNILLE.
SO, THAT MARRIAGE STUFF
THAT YOU WERE SAYING YESTERDAY
YOU DON'T REALLY
BELIEVE THAT, DO YOU?
SURE, I DO.
IN FACT, I THINK
THE WHOLE CONCEPT OF MARRIAGE IS UNNATURAL.
I MEAN, LOOK AT PIGS.
LET'S TAKE A SECOND HERE AND LOOK AT PIGS.
OKAY, PIGS DON'T MATE FOR LIFE.
I MEAN, A PIG CAN HAVE, LIKE
A HUNDRED SEXUAL PARTNERS IN A LIFETIME
AND THAT'S JUST AN ORDINARY PIG
NOT EVEN A PIG THAT'S GOOD AT SPORTS.
WAIT A MINUTE.
ARE YOU HONESTLY TELLING ME
THAT-THAT YOU MAY NEVER WANT TO GET MARRIED?
WELL, NEVER SAY NEVER, BUT, YOU KNOW, PROBABLY, UM…
YEAH, NEVER.
OH, MY GOD.
TH-TH-THEN, WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING?
WHAT IS THIS?
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHAT IS ALL THIS PRESSURE?
IS THIS SOME NEW KIND OF STRATEGY?
WHY DON'T YOU PUT DOWN YOUR COPY OF THE RULES, HUH, MAN-TRAP?
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I GOT TO GO.
IT'S OKAY.
I GOT A PLAN.
WE'RE GOING TO FIND LOVE.
DEFINITELY.
YEAH, I'M PRETTY CONFIDENT ABOUT THAT.
THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT SO EASY
FOR ME TO BE 80% HAPPY FOR MONICA AND CHANDLER.
IT'D BE NICE TO HAVE A LITTLE GUARANTEE, THOUGH.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WELL, YOU KNOW, SOME PEOPLE MAKE DEALS WITH A FRIEND
LIKE, IF NEITHER OF THEM ARE MARRIED
BY THE TIME THEY'RE 40, THEY MARRY EACH OTHER.
YOU MEAN A BACKUP?
YEAH, EXACTLY.
YEAH, YEAH, I'VE GOT THAT.
YOU DO?
MM-HMM.
WHO?
JOEY.
JOEY?
YEAH.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
YEAH, I LOCKED HIM IN YEARS AGO.
WAIT, SO, IF NEITHER OF YOU ARE MARRIED
BY THE TIME YOU'RE 40
YOU'RE GOING TO MARRY JOEY?
YEP, WE SHOOK ON IT.
YEAH… BUT BELIEVE ME
THAT IS NOT HOW HE WANTED TO SEAL THE DEAL.
OH. SERIOUSLY?
OH, YEAH.
I THINK HIS EXACT WORDS WERE…
CHARMING.
AH, HE'S JUST A BACKUP.
YEAH.
HEY, MONICA.
HAVE YOU SEEN RACHEL… OR A MIRROR?
THIS IS FOR MY BOAT.
PRETTY COOL, HUH?
YEAH, IT'S GREAT.
WHOA, WHOA, WHAT'S THE MATTER?
TALK TO THE CAPTAIN.
I'M JUST HAVING ONE OF THOSE DAYS
WHERE YOU REALIZE YOU'RE IN A DEAD-END RELATIONSHIP.
CHANDLER GIVING YOU A HARD TIME, HUH?
IT'S NOT LIKE I WANT TO GET MARRIED TOMORROW.
IT'S JUST I'D LIKE TO BELIEVE
THAT I'M IN A RELATIONSHIP THAT'S GOING SOMEWHERE
THAT I'M NOT JUST WASTING MY TIME.
WELL, YOU KNOW CHANDLER.
NO, I DON'T KNOW CHANDLER…
NOT ANYMORE.
IT'S LIKE…
IT'S LIKE SOMETHING'S CHANGED.
MAYBE YOU CHANGED.
I DIDN'T CHANGE.
MAYBE THAT'S THE PROBLEM.
WHAT?
CHANDLER IS A COMPLEX FELLOW
ONE WHO IS UNLIKELY TO TAKE A WIFE.
WELL, WHAT DOES HE THINK?
DOES HE THINK I'M JUST GOING TO WAIT AROUND FOR NOTHING?
MONICA, FACE IT, CHANDLER IS AGAINST MARRIAGE
AN-AND ALWAYS WILL BE.
YEAH, WELL, THERE'S SOME PEOPLE
WHO DO WANT TO MARRY ME.
THERE ARE?
YEAH… RICHARD.
RI-RI-RICHARD SAID HE WANTS TO MARRY YOU?
MM-HMM.
CHANDLER'S TELLING YOU HOW MUCH HE HATES MARRIAGE?
THAT'S RIGHT.
CHANDLER LOVES MARRIAGE!
YOU JUST TOLD ME THAT HE HATES MARRIAGE
TH-THAT HE'S A… A COMPLEX FELLOW WHO'S UNLIKELY TO TAKE A WIFE
TH-THAT HE'S AGAINST MARRIAGE
AND ALWAYS WILL BE.
YOU GOT THAT FROM WHAT I SAID?
RACH?
HEY, YOU.
HEY.
COME ON IN. OH, THANK YOU.
HEY, YOU KNOW, I'M SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOU AND ELIZABETH.
OH, THANKS.
YEAH, I REALLY THOUGHT
WE'D BE ABLE TO MAKE IT WORK
BUT, UH… I GUESS IT JUST WASN'T MEANT TO BE.
YEAH.
LOVE…
IT'S A TRICKY BUSINESS, ISN'T IT?
I GUESS SO.
SO, WHAT DO YOU SAY WE MAKE A PACT…
IF YOU AND I ARE BOTH SINGLE BY THE TIME WE'RE 40
WE GET MARRIED.
I MEAN, WE KNOW EACH OTHER, WE LIKE EACH OTHER…
I MEAN, WE'VE ALREADY SLEPT TOGETHER.
SO, YOU KNOW, THERE'LL BE NO SURPRISES THERE.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
NO, LIKE, WHAT'S THAT?
SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
OH, YOU… YOU WANT ME TO BE YOUR BACKUP?
EXACTLY.
OH, YEAH… I ALREADY HAVE ONE.
WHAT? WHO?
PHOEBE.
PHOEBE?
WAIT A MINUTE.
BUT SHE… BUT SHE JUST…
SHE SAID JOEY IS HER BACKUP.
OH, I DON'T THINK SO.
ROSS, I JUST HAD A CONVERSATION WITH HER
AND SHE SAID THAT SHE AND JOEY MADE A DEAL.
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
I MEAN, WE HAVE HAD A DEAL FOR YEARS.
WE-WE-WE SHOOK ON IT…
ALTHOUGH, BELIEVE ME, SHE WANTED TO DO A LOT MORE THAN THAT.
WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?
I WAS MAKING A COCONUT PHONE WITH THE PROFESSOR.
RICHARD TOLD MONICA HE WANTS TO MARRY HER.
WHAT? YEAH, YEAH.
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND YOU
TO TELL YOU STOP MESSING WITH HER
AND MAYBE I WOULD HAVE
IF THESE DAMN BOAT SHOES WOULDN'T KEEP FLYING OFF!
OH, MY GOD.
I KNOW, THEY SUCK!
HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO ASK MY GIRLFRIEND TO MARRY HIM.
I'M SUPPOSED TO DO THAT.
I KNOW!
WELL, WHAT…
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO?
I'M GOING TO GO OVER THERE, I'M GOING TO KICK HIS ASS!
WILL YOU HELP ME?
LOOK, CHANDLER, I DON'T THINK US GETTING OUR ASSES KICKED
IS A SOLUTION, OKAY?
JUST GO AND FIND MONICA.
YOU'RE RIGHT. OKAY. YEAH.
I'M GOING TO GET THE RING.
I'M GOING TO GO FIND HER
AND I'M JUST GOING TO PROPOSE.
OKAY. OKAY, GO GET HER.
DUDE, DUDE, DUDE.
HUH?
LET ME KNOW
ABOUT THAT COCONUT PHONE.
IT MIGHT BE GOOD FOR THE BOAT.
HI.
I DON'T WHY I'M HERE.
I DIDN'T ASK.
YOU WANT TO COME IN?
I DON'T KNOW.
OH, OKAY.
WELL, I'LL JUST LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN
AND GO SIT ON THE COUCH.
CHANDLER IS SUCH AN IDIOT.
DRINK?
YEAH. I'LL HAVE A SCOTCH ON THE…
ROCKS WITH A TWIST?
I REMEMBER.
YOU START SMOKING CIGARS?
UH…
NO, NO. THAT'S ART.
IF IT BOTHERS YOU, I CAN PUT MY ART OUT.
NO, THAT'S OKAY.
SO, MONICA…
LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION.
YOU KNOW, SINCE WE BROKE UP
DO YOU EVER… THINK ABOUT ME?
YEAH, ACTUALLY, I THOUGHT ABOUT YOU A COUPLE MONTHS AGO.
OH, REALLY?
YEAH, BUT IT'S 'CAUSE
I HAD AN EYE EXAM
AND I DON'T LIKE MY NEW EYE DOCTOR.
WHO IS IT?
EDWARD NEVSKY.
YEAH, HE'S NO GOOD.
DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT ME IN A… NON-EYE-DOCTOR WAY?
NO.
AH.
BECAUSE GETTING OVER YOU
IS THE HARDEST THING THAT I'VE EVER HAD TO DO
AND I NEVER LET MYSELF THINK ABOUT YOU.
PHOEBE, YOU PICKED JOEY AND ROSS?
YOU CANNOT HAVE TWO BACKUPS!
OF COURSE I CAN.
IT'S JUST GOOD SENSE TO BACK UP YOUR BACKUP.
LOOK, I'VE ALREADY LOST CHANDLER.
WHAT?
HEY, PHOEBE
WE'RE BOTH YOUR BACKUP?
PHOEBE, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE COMPLAINING ABOUT NOW.
YOU WERE BOTH AWARE OF THE SITUATION.
NO, WE WEREN'T. I WAS NOT!
OKAY, THIS KIND OF BACK TALK IS NOT GOING TO FLY
WHEN WE'RE MARRIED.
PHOEBE, YOU CAN'T HAVE BOTH OF THEM.
YOU HAVE TO PICK ONE.
PICK ME!
NO, PICK ME!
I DON'T WANT TO END UP AN OLD MAID.
ALL RIGHT. WELL, LET'S SEE.
ROSS IS A GOOD FATHER, BUT JOEY HAS A BOAT.
THIS IS HARD.
THIS IS CRAZY.
LOOK, I WANT TO SWITCH TO RACHEL.
OOH, I WANT TO SWITCH TO RACHEL, TOO.
NO, JUST WAIT!
YOU GUYS
WAIT, GUYS.
DON'T MAKE ANY RASH DECISIONS, OKAY?
IF WE GET MARRIED, THREE TIMES A WEEK.
OH, GOD, PHOEBE.
I'M TALKING ABOUT MASSAGES.
OH, ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I KNOW HOW TO SETTLE THIS.
ALL RIGHT, THIS IS WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO.
I'M GOING TO WRITE "JOEY" ON ONE NAPKIN
AND I'M GOING TO WRITE "ROSS" ON THE OTHER NAPKIN
AND WE ARE GOING TO PICK ONE
AND THAT PERSON IS GOING TO BE OUR BACKUP, OKAY?
HERE WE GO.
THAT SOUNDS FAIR. FINE.
GOOD.
WOO-OO!
PICK ONE.
LEFT.
THANK YOU.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
"ROSS."
"JOEY."
HMM.
WE SHOULD JUST SWITCH.
YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.
I MISS THIS APARTMENT.
NOW, THIS IS A GROWN-UP'S APARTMENT.
I SHOULD BE WITH A GROWN-UP.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
YEAH. YOU'RE SAYING YOU NEED TO BE WITH SOMEONE MORE MATURE.
MAYBE SOMEONE WITH
A LICENSE TO PRACTICE MEDICINE…
OR A MUSTACHE.
YOU KNOW, LET'S FACE IT.
I'M NOT A KID ANYMORE.
I NEED TO BE WITH SOMEONE
WHO WANTS THE SAME THINGS THAT I DO.
COMING TO MY PLACE OF WORK
AND TELLING ME THAT YOU LOVE ME…
I WANT THAT!
TALKING ABOUT PIG SEX OVER LUNCH…
I DON'T WANT THAT!
I THINK THAT'S FAIR.
"FAIR"? PLEASE, DON'T EVEN TALK TO ME ABOUT FAIR.
FAIR WOULD HAVE BEEN
YOU WANTING TO MARRY ME BACK THEN.
OR FAIR WOULD BE CHANDLER WANTING
TO MARRY ME NOW.
BELIEVE ME, NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS FAIR.
NOTHING, NOTHING
NOTHING. NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING!
IT'S OKAY. SHH, SHH. HEY, HEY, SHH.
NOTHING.
I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW. UM…
I KNOW.
I-I…
I HAVE TO FIGURE SOME, YOU KNOW, SOME STUFF
BEFORE I CAN…
YEAH, I UNDERSTAND.
TAKE AS MUCH TIME AS YOU WANT.
TEN, EVEN 20 MINUTES IF YOU NEED IT.
I'LL BE HERE…
NOT SMOKING.
CHANDLER.
WHERE IS SHE?
I'M NOT SCARED OF YOU.
SHE'S NOT HERE AND PLEASE COME IN.
SCOTCH ON THE ROCKS, WITH A TWIST…
ON A COASTER…
MONICA? MONICA?
OKAY, SHE WAS HERE, BUT SHE LEFT.
WHERE DID SHE GO?
WELL, SHE SAID SHE HAD TO THINK THINGS OVER.
OH, MY GOD.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS, YOU KNOW?
I THOUGHT… I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GOOD GUY.
OH, HEY, LOOK, NOTHING HAPPENED.
NOTHING HAPPENED? NOTHING?
SO YOU DIDN'T TELL MY GIRLFRIEND THAT YOU LOVE HER?
WELL, ALL RIGHT, ONE THING HAPPENED.
YOU KNOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID?
MY GIRLFRIEND IS OUT THERE THINKING THINGS OVER.
YOU MADE MY GIRLFRIEND THINK!
WELL, I'M SORRY.
WHAT DOES SHE HAVE TO THINK ABOUT?
I LOVE HER.
WELL, APPARENTLY I'M WILLING TO OFFER HER THINGS
THAT YOU ARE NOT.
BUT I AM WILLING TO OFFER HER ALL THOSE THINGS.
THIS WAS JUST A PLAN, YOU KNOW?
A WAY TO THROW HER OFF COURSE
SO THAT WHEN I OFFERED HER ALL THESE THINGS
SHE'D BE SURPRISED.
WELL, IF IT HELPS, IT WORKED VERY WELL.
WELL, IT WAS WORKING UNTIL YOU SHOWED UP
YOU BIG TREE.
I MEAN, THIS ISN'T FAIR.
YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE WITH HER.
YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE AND YOU BLEW IT!
AND THIS IS MY CHANCE AND I'M NOT GOING TO BLOW IT
BECAUSE WE ARE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER.
AND THIS HAS ALL JUST BEEN ONE STUPID MISTAKE.
I WAS GOING TO PROPOSE TONIGHT.
YOU WERE GOING TO PROPOSE?
YEAH, I EVEN… GOT A RING.
DID YOU GET A RING?
NO, I DON'T HAVE A RING.
YOU GO GET HER, CHANDLER.
AND CAN I GIVE YOU A PIECE OF ADVICE?
IF YOU DO GET HER…
DON'T LET HER GO.
TRUST ME.
YOU KNOW, RICHARD…
YOU ARE A GOOD GUY.
I KNOW.
I HATE THAT.
DUDE…
I CAN'T TALK TO YOU NOW. I GOT TO FIND MONICA.
SHE'S GONE.
WHAT?
SHE HAD A BAG AND SHE LEFT.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
SHE WAS ALL CRYING.
SHE SAID YOU GUYS WANT DIFFERENT THINGS
AND THAT SHE NEEDED TIME TO THINK.
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL HER IT WAS A PLAN?
I DID. I TOLD HER EVERYTHING, CHANDLER
BUT SHE WOULDN'T BELIEVE ME.
WELL, WHERE…?
WHERE DID SHE GO?
TO HER PARENTS, I THINK
AND SHE SAID THAT YOU SHOULDN'T CALL HER
BUT IF I WERE YOU, I WOULD.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I RUINED THIS.
I AM SO SORRY, MAN.
DAMN.
YOU WANTED IT TO BE A SURPRISE.
OH, MY GOD.
CHANDLER, IN ALL MY LIFE
I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE SO LUCKY…
AS TO FALL IN LOVE WITH MY BEST…
MY BEST…
THERE'S A REASON WHY GIRLS DON'T DO THIS!
OKAY, OKAY.
I'LL DO IT.
I THOUGHT…
I CAN DO THIS.
I THOUGHT THAT IT MATTERED WHAT I SAID
OR WHERE I SAID IT.
THEN I REALIZED
THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IS THAT YOU…
YOU MAKE ME HAPPIER
THAN I EVER THOUGHT I COULD BE.
AND IF YOU LET ME
I WILL SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE
TRYING TO MAKE YOU FEEL THE SAME WAY.
MONICA…
WILL YOU MARRY ME?
YES.
I KNEW YOU WERE LIKELY TO TAKE A WIFE!
CAN WE COME IN YET?
WE'RE DYING OUT HERE!
COME IN! COME IN!
WE'RE ENGAGED!
OH, THIS IS THE LEAST JEALOUS I'VE EVER BEEN!
OH, NO, WAIT! NO! THIS IS WRONG!
ROSS ISN'T HERE!
OH. OH.
OH, HELL, HE'S DONE THIS THREE TIMES!
HE KNOWS WHAT IT'S ABOUT!
YEAH! YEAH!
COME ON, BABY!
HEY, HEY, HEY!
Captioned by The Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation]