1 00:00:02,919 --> 00:00:04,336 - Hey. Hey. 2 00:00:04,504 --> 00:00:06,964 I saw the Porsche parked out front. 3 00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:10,509 Can I get the keys? I'll take that bad boy for a spin. 4 00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:15,723 Ross drives it? When I ask, you say you're the only one allowed to. 5 00:00:15,890 --> 00:00:19,393 He's my brother, plus he drives so slow he couldn't hurt it. 6 00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:22,229 It's a car, Monica, not a rocket ship. 7 00:00:22,772 --> 00:00:23,814 Whatever, Ross. 8 00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:26,942 Just replace the bulbs in the brake lights after you're done. 9 00:00:28,778 --> 00:00:30,195 - Hey. Hi. 10 00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:34,825 Saw the Porsche. Looking good. When can I take it out again? 11 00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:42,541 - You let Joey drive it? - I've never driven it. Not once. 12 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:45,794 Okay, once. Okay, I drive it all the time. 13 00:00:48,173 --> 00:00:52,301 So much for the "you can drive it but don't tell Rachel" plan. 14 00:00:53,428 --> 00:00:55,512 Wow, I can't believe you lied to me. 15 00:00:55,680 --> 00:01:00,642 I can fix this. Monica, Rachel thinks all you can talk about is the wedding. 16 00:01:02,937 --> 00:01:07,483 I won't let you drive the Porsche because you're a terrible driver. 17 00:01:07,692 --> 00:01:10,319 There. That wasn't about the wedding. 18 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:16,825 If you want a ride in the Porsche, I'll take you around the block. 19 00:01:16,993 --> 00:01:18,494 You got a couple hours? 20 00:01:58,993 --> 00:02:00,702 Whew, that was a brisk ride. 21 00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:05,791 - Take the top down, did you? - Only way to fly. 22 00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:12,214 Give me the keys. Monica's wrong. I'm an excellent driver. 23 00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:16,468 You're fast and irresponsible. That adds up to a bad driver. 24 00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:20,222 In high school, that added up to head cheerleader. 25 00:02:24,352 --> 00:02:27,813 Did you see the look that girl just gave me, huh? 26 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,774 She must've seen me cruising in the bad boy. 27 00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:34,153 - She's checking out your beehive. - What? 28 00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:37,406 - Give me a brush. - Give me the keys. 29 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:39,158 - No way! - Well, no brush. 30 00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:41,201 Fine. It doesn't matter. 31 00:02:41,369 --> 00:02:45,455 If I remember correctly, there's a comb on the floor of the bathroom. 32 00:03:02,348 --> 00:03:03,473 Alimony. 33 00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:10,981 We still haven't gotten an RSVP from your dad. 34 00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:15,777 Oh, right. Um, maybe that's because I didn't send him an invitation. 35 00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:20,032 Chandler, he's your father. He should be at your wedding. 36 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:24,203 I don't even know him. I haven't seen him in years. 37 00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:26,914 And when he finds out he wasn't asked? 38 00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:29,374 We don't run in the same circles. 39 00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:32,669 I hang out with you guys and he... 40 00:03:32,837 --> 00:03:35,547 stars in a drag show in Vegas. 41 00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:38,342 Ooh, I think I want to trade circles. 42 00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:42,179 You don't want him there. Nobody will stare at the bride... 43 00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:45,724 when the groom's father's wearing a backless dress. 44 00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:47,059 Heh, so what? 45 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:50,646 As long as he's not wearing a white dress and a veil, I don't care. 46 00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:53,273 I think I need to do some shopping. 47 00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,905 Ah. 48 00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:02,866 Ooh, nice. 49 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,536 My God! 50 00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:11,959 - What do you think you're doing? - Just washing the windshield. 51 00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:19,841 There's no way I'll let you drive this car. 52 00:04:20,009 --> 00:04:22,844 - Just hand over the keys. - Oh. 53 00:04:23,012 --> 00:04:24,096 Oh, ah-ah-ah! 54 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,640 Do not start this car. 55 00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:32,688 Okay, okay. I will give you 20 bucks... 56 00:04:32,855 --> 00:04:36,358 if you get out of this car right now. Hey! 57 00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:39,653 Look. 58 00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:42,406 If you're so freaked out, get in the car. 59 00:04:42,573 --> 00:04:44,283 With you? Yeah, right. 60 00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:45,701 All right. 61 00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:47,953 Okay, okay, okay. 62 00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:55,669 - What are you doing? Get in front. - In the death seat? 63 00:05:02,343 --> 00:05:04,136 - Hey, guys. - Hi, sweetie. 64 00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:07,639 - Ready to go? - My purse is at Mon's. I'll be back. 65 00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,099 - Wait a minute. - What? 66 00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:10,726 Oh. 67 00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:12,894 Ooh! 68 00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:15,814 Oops. 69 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:18,108 Whoa, oh, that one kept going. 70 00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:25,073 So, you and Phoebe, huh? 71 00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:27,242 - How long have you been going out? - A month. 72 00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:30,829 Wow. We ought to get to know each other better. 73 00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:34,583 - Sure. I'd like that. - Yeah. So, uh... 74 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,210 What's your name? 75 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,840 - It's Jake. - Joey. 76 00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:44,551 - Do you like the Knicks? - Yeah, big fan. 77 00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:48,388 Me too. There's a game Tuesday. Do you want to go? 78 00:05:48,556 --> 00:05:52,309 Great! Let me make sure I'm not doing anything Tuesday. 79 00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:02,027 Here. 80 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:05,739 - What's this? - Your suitcase. We're going to Vegas. 81 00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:08,992 Are you serious? Eloping? No more stupid wedding stuff. 82 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:13,580 No more these flowers, these flowers. Think of the money we'll save. 83 00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:17,626 We're not eloping. I love the flowers. Can our wedding be bigger, please? 84 00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:20,587 We're going to see your dad. 85 00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:23,298 I want to get to know my father-in-law. 86 00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,509 We already went over this and I won. 87 00:06:25,676 --> 00:06:28,637 No, you didn't. Honey, just so you know... 88 00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:31,640 Now that you're marrying me, you don't get to win anymore. 89 00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:36,978 Forget it. I don't want to go. I don't want to see him. 90 00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,856 I know your dad embarrassed you. 91 00:06:40,024 --> 00:06:42,567 All kids are embarrassed by their parents. 92 00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:46,071 You need a new word for what I went through. 93 00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:49,199 In high school, he came to all my swim meets... 94 00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:52,577 dressed as a Hollywood starlet. 95 00:06:53,037 --> 00:06:54,121 It's hard enough to be 14. 96 00:06:54,288 --> 00:06:58,417 You're skinny, wearing Speedos your mom promised you'd grow into. 97 00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:04,047 You look up in the stands. There's your dad cheering you on. 98 00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:08,135 Dressed as Carmen Miranda, wearing a headdress with real fruit... 99 00:07:08,302 --> 00:07:12,848 that he'll later give to your friends as a healthy snack. 100 00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:18,270 The point is that he was at every one of your swim meets cheering you on. 101 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,397 That's a pretty great dad. 102 00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:22,524 He had sex with Mr. Garibaldi. 103 00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:25,986 - Who's Mr. Garibaldi? - Does it matter? 104 00:07:27,738 --> 00:07:29,072 Chandler... 105 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:34,077 You're not 14 anymore, okay? Maybe it's time you let that stuff go. 106 00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:40,542 If he's not at your wedding, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. 107 00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:45,714 Okay, but I'm just doing this for you. 108 00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,299 Yes! 109 00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:52,262 - I never get to win anymore? - How much did you ever win before? 110 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:57,976 - Pheebs. - Hey. 111 00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:01,938 You know how, uh, when you're wearing pants and you lean forward... 112 00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:03,565 I check out your underwear? 113 00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,233 Yeah. 114 00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:08,111 - Well, when Jake did it... - Mm-hm. 115 00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:11,823 I saw that he was wearing women's underwear. 116 00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,742 I know. They were mine. 117 00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:15,660 Oh. 118 00:08:17,246 --> 00:08:19,664 No, no, wait. That's weird. 119 00:08:20,249 --> 00:08:23,668 We were goofing around, and I dared him to try them on. 120 00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:25,253 That's weird! 121 00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:29,257 - I'm wearing his briefs right now. - That's kind of hot. 122 00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:35,472 I think so too. And that little flap? Great for holding my lipstick. 123 00:08:40,561 --> 00:08:42,395 I wouldn't know about that. 124 00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:48,109 Jake says that women's underwear is actually more comfortable. 125 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:51,279 He loves how silk feels against his skin. 126 00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:55,700 Next he'll say your high heels are good for his posture. 127 00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:59,412 There's nothing wrong with Jake. He is all man. 128 00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:01,331 I think, more than you. 129 00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:05,377 He looked like a real lumberjack in those pink lacies. 130 00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:10,674 Only a man completely secure with his masculinity... 131 00:09:10,841 --> 00:09:14,135 could walk around in women's underwear. I don't think you could. 132 00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:18,348 - I am secure with my masculinity. - Okay, whatever. 133 00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:21,101 You've seen my huge stack of porn. 134 00:09:27,441 --> 00:09:30,235 Where they at? Where they at? Where they at? Where they at? 135 00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:35,490 God, I forgot how much I love driving. 136 00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:38,368 I have got to get my license renewed. 137 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:45,375 You don't have a valid driver's license? Pull over right now. 138 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:48,628 You're so tense. You just gotta relax, okay? 139 00:09:48,796 --> 00:09:53,925 Okay? Just need to relax. All right? Just need to relax. 140 00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:57,971 What are you...? That's not funny. Stop horsing around. 141 00:09:58,139 --> 00:10:00,390 I am not horsing around, okay? 142 00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:03,852 I am "Porsche-ing" around. 143 00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:10,775 Uh-oh. 144 00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:16,072 Stay calm. Nothing will happen. You're not in that much trouble. 145 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:17,657 Really? You think so? 146 00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:20,619 I'm talking to myself. You're going down! 147 00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:04,245 I can feel something inside me say 148 00:11:04,413 --> 00:11:06,164 Has someone taken your order? 149 00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:11,878 Oh, yeah. She did. Um, he did. She? I'm sorry, I'm new. I don't... 150 00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:13,963 Mm-hm. 151 00:11:14,131 --> 00:11:17,342 - I just ordered a beer. - You're straight. I get it. 152 00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:22,389 If we called your dad, we'd have better seats. 153 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:26,434 I don't want him to know we're here yet. I'm not ready. 154 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:29,437 He won't be too happy to see me either. 155 00:11:29,605 --> 00:11:30,980 Why not? 156 00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:35,610 I don't know if I told you this, but he's kind of tried to contact me... 157 00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:38,822 a lot over the last few years. - What? 158 00:11:38,989 --> 00:11:42,117 Yeah. He's made phone calls, written letters. 159 00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:45,912 He even came to New York. I said I was too busy. 160 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:48,748 It's very "Cat's in the Cradle." I don't want to get into it. 161 00:11:52,336 --> 00:11:53,628 Here we go. 162 00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:55,714 Ladies and gentlemen... 163 00:11:55,881 --> 00:12:00,218 please welcome the incomparable Helena Handbasket. 164 00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,724 Hello, darlings. 165 00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:08,184 And there's Daddy. 166 00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:18,319 Okay. Switch places with me. Come on! I'll go under, you go over. 167 00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:21,322 - Yeah, I'll get right on that. - Ugh, come on! 168 00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:23,074 What? No. Hey, Rach, come on. 169 00:12:24,493 --> 00:12:26,870 I'm sure we won't get arrested for this. 170 00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:30,290 God! 171 00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:37,464 Hi, officer. Was I going a little too fast? 172 00:12:37,673 --> 00:12:39,257 Oh, my God. 173 00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:43,136 - Can I see your license, please? - Oh, yes, absolutely. 174 00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:47,849 It's weird. I had a dream last night that I was stopped by a policeman. 175 00:12:49,226 --> 00:12:50,268 And then he, um... 176 00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:54,147 Well, I probably shouldn't tell you the rest. 177 00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:59,778 - Your license. - Yes. Ahem. Here you go, Officer, uh... 178 00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:01,446 Handsome. 179 00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:05,408 - It's Hanson. - Oops, sorry. My mistake. 180 00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,577 Dear Lord! 181 00:13:09,079 --> 00:13:11,039 - Wow! - Here it comes. 182 00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:12,874 This is a great picture. 183 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,375 Ah! 184 00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:18,087 Really? You think so? You know, I had just rolled right out of bed. 185 00:13:18,255 --> 00:13:19,923 You look phenomenal. 186 00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:23,009 She should! It was taken 10 years ago! 187 00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:28,473 You know, you're probably, um... 188 00:13:28,682 --> 00:13:30,642 Probably wondering about the old date. 189 00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:34,020 Yes, I am. You're an Aquarius, huh? 190 00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:38,066 - I'll bet you're a Gemini. - No. 191 00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:39,567 - Taurus? - No. 192 00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:41,569 - Virgo? - No. 193 00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:43,780 - Sagittarius? - Yep. 194 00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:46,407 I knew it. I knew it! 195 00:13:46,575 --> 00:13:49,577 - You won't speed anymore, right? - I won't speed. 196 00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:52,539 - Promise to take care of this? - I promise. 197 00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:54,666 Let him drive. Does he have a license? 198 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,252 - Yeah. - Can he handle a stick? 199 00:13:57,419 --> 00:14:00,922 - Oh, well... - I can handle a stick! 200 00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:06,469 I feel pretty 201 00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:08,304 Oh, so pretty 202 00:14:08,472 --> 00:14:11,015 I feel pretty and witty and 203 00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:12,517 Gay 204 00:14:15,729 --> 00:14:20,233 - That can't be your father. - I've been saying that for years. 205 00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:22,527 - Oh, my God! - What? 206 00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:25,238 That's Mr. Garibaldi playing the piano. 207 00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:29,117 For I'm loved 208 00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:34,247 By a pretty wonderful boy 209 00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:41,963 Hello, and welcome to the show. 210 00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:46,009 I see some of our regulars in the audience. 211 00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:49,512 And a couple of irregulars. 212 00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:55,268 - He's coming into the audience. - Relax. You'll be fine. 213 00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:59,022 Oh, much better. You're invisible now. 214 00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:02,483 - Where are you from? - Bakersfield. 215 00:15:02,651 --> 00:15:04,694 - I'm sorry? - Bakersfield. 216 00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:07,906 No, no, I heard. I'm just sorry. 217 00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:11,618 I'll meet you back at the hotel. 218 00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:17,373 Look, a standing ovation already. So early in the show. 219 00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:21,544 Turn around, darling. Let me see your pretty face. 220 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:33,932 Can we have our drinks, please? Uh, waiter? tress? 221 00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:47,654 - Hey, Pheebs. - Hey. 222 00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:51,449 Check it out. 223 00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:53,826 Huh? 224 00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:58,998 How much of a man am I? 225 00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:03,836 Wow, nice. Manly, and also kind of a slut. 226 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:08,174 You know, I'm beginning to see what Jake was talking about. 227 00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:10,843 - Uh-huh. - The silk feels really good. 228 00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:16,474 And things aren't as smashed down as I thought they would be. 229 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:17,850 That's great. 230 00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:20,770 You have so many more choices than with men's underwear. 231 00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:26,359 Bikini, French cut, thong. And the fabrics: Cotton, silk, lace. 232 00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:30,196 You know what I've always wondered about? Pantyhose! 233 00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:34,534 The way they start at your toe, then they go all the way up to... 234 00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:40,957 - I should go take these off. - I think it's important you do. 235 00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:42,333 Mm. 236 00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:45,461 What's your name? 237 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,507 Chandler. 238 00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:52,051 Chandler? 239 00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:54,512 What an unusual name. 240 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:58,057 You must have had terribly fascinating parents. 241 00:16:58,225 --> 00:17:00,184 Oh, they're a hoot. 242 00:17:02,312 --> 00:17:04,063 And who is your friend? 243 00:17:04,606 --> 00:17:07,108 I'm Monica. 244 00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:10,945 - Monica. Where are you from? - New York. 245 00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:14,032 I'm not very fond of New York. 246 00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:16,784 Queens, I like. 247 00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:20,371 Ooh, what is this... 248 00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:24,292 sparkling something, honey, huh? 249 00:17:25,961 --> 00:17:28,755 Actually, Monica and I are engaged. 250 00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:31,716 Really? 251 00:17:32,259 --> 00:17:34,135 Congratulations. 252 00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:36,679 When's the big day? 253 00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:40,433 In two weeks. 254 00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:43,061 I see. 255 00:17:44,521 --> 00:17:49,192 Well, I wish you both a lifetime of happiness. 256 00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:52,320 So you're bald. 257 00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:54,155 Wait, wait. 258 00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:59,285 We'd really love it if you could be there. 259 00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:03,039 Really? 260 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:07,126 I know it would make me happy... 261 00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:09,837 ma'am. 262 00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:15,009 Then I wouldn't miss it for the world. 263 00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:19,013 Oh, I'm getting all misty here. Ha! 264 00:18:19,389 --> 00:18:22,225 You'd think I was having my legs waxed or something. 265 00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:29,690 - You okay? - Yeah. 266 00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:32,151 Thanks for making me do this. 267 00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:37,240 Before we go on with the show, I want to say to the bride and groom... 268 00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:40,326 how lucky they are to have found each other. 269 00:18:41,328 --> 00:18:44,080 In every life a little rain must fall. 270 00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:45,623 Fortunately... 271 00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,792 in my life... 272 00:18:51,421 --> 00:18:53,422 It's raining men 273 00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:55,258 Hallelujah 274 00:18:55,425 --> 00:18:58,845 - It's raining men, uh-huh - Amen 275 00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:06,018 When I was growing up, I played the one on the far left. 276 00:19:08,605 --> 00:19:11,774 And it's raining men, amen 277 00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:19,448 Remind me to introduce you to someone. 278 00:19:19,616 --> 00:19:21,159 - Who? - Fourth gear. 279 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,038 What? 280 00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:28,457 What does he want? I wasn't doing anything. 281 00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:33,337 Maybe he saw your hands slip briefly from the 10 and 2:00 position. 282 00:19:35,632 --> 00:19:40,052 Maybe it's, uh, Sergeant Sagittarius coming back to flirt some more. 283 00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:44,265 It's a different guy. 284 00:19:47,394 --> 00:19:51,105 - Good evening, officer. - Do you know how fast you were going? 285 00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:55,109 Uh, no, I don't, but it could not have been more than 60. 286 00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:57,069 You're right. It was 37. 287 00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:05,286 You're not ticketing me for driving too slow, are you? 288 00:20:05,495 --> 00:20:07,205 That's right. 289 00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:17,632 You know, officer, I, uh... 290 00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:21,552 I had the weirdest dream last night. 291 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,971 Oh, my God! 292 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,015 Your license, please. 293 00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:31,020 You don't want to hear about my dream... 294 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,772 Officer... 295 00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:34,357 Pretty? 296 00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:39,528 It's Petty. 297 00:20:41,114 --> 00:20:43,574 I'll be right back with your ticket. 298 00:20:46,161 --> 00:20:49,205 - You have a son. - I know. I know. 299 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:58,422 - Feel better? - Yeah. Much. Heh. 300 00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:00,258 Listen, uh... 301 00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:05,763 Not that I'm insecure about my manhood or anything, but, uh... 302 00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:08,683 I need to hook up with a woman right now. 303 00:21:09,142 --> 00:21:12,019 - I understand. - Yeah, okay. 304 00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:18,651 - Hey. Hi. - Hi. 305 00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:21,404 You look familiar. Do I know you? 306 00:21:21,571 --> 00:21:22,905 I don't think so. 307 00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:25,491 Maybe it's because I'm on television. 308 00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:31,497 - I'm an actor on Days of our Lives. - Wow. Really? 309 00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:34,500 - Four-fifty, please. - Oh, let me get this. 310 00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:46,721 These are for you.