Hey, I got you a present!
Oh, my goodness, where did you hide it?
I got it for your wedding, I ordered it weeks ago and it finally got here!
Pheebs, you didn't have to get us anything for our...
I love it! It's huge! Let's open it! Open it!
- It's a Ms. Pac-Man machine! - Oh, my God!
I didn't know where to put it so I left.
- We can put it in the guest bedroom. - Yeah, okay.
- I kind of like it here. - Do you really like it?
Are you kidding? I practically spent my entire childhood at the arcade.
- This was, like, my second favorite game. - What was your first?
- I don't really remember the name of it. - Well, what did it do?
Well, you'd put a quarter in, pull some handles and win a candy bar.
A vending machine?
Hey, don't feel bad for me. I won every time!
Hey! I'm so glad you guys are here.
I've been dying to tell someone what happened in the paleontology department.
Do you think he saw us, or can we still slip out?
Professor Newman, the head of the department, is retiring, so...
- They made you head of the department! - No, I get to teach his advanced class!
Why didn't I get head of the department?
- Oh, hey, Rach, listen, um... - Yeah.
I got a big date. Do you know a good restaurant?
Uh, Paul's Cafe. It's got great food and it's really romantic.
Ooh. Great, thanks.
And then after, you could take her to the Four Seasons for drinks.
Or go downtown and listen to some jazz.
Or dancing. Oh, take her dancing!
You sure are naming a lot of ways to postpone sex, I'll tell you.
Agh, I miss dating. Getting dressed up, going to a fancy restaurant.
I'm not gonna be able to do that for so long. And it's so much fun.
Not that sitting at home worrying about giving birth to a 16-pound baby is not fun.
Hey, you know what? Why don't I take you out?
What? You don't want to go on a date with a pregnant lady.
Yes, I do. We're gonna go out, we're gonna have a good time.
I'll take your mind off of childbirth, and C-sections...
and giant baby heads stretching out...
Okay, I'll go with you. I'll go.
- It will be fun. - All right. Okay.
No, no! Yes!
Aw, would you look at that, Monica?
I knocked off all your top scores. How sad.
Okay, I'm next.
No, don't start another game. I'm next! Phoebe?
I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over all the winning.
- Chandler! Phoebe's hogging the game. - Who cares? It's a stupid game.
Oh, you only think it's stupid because you suck at it.
I don't suck. It sucks.
You suck.
If this game is gonna cause problems between you...
maybe I should keep it. - No, I love it. It is a great present.
In fact, why don't you go home and wait for the "Thank You" card?
- Why do you want to play so badly? - Yeah, it's not like it spits out...
a Clark Bar after every game.
Okay. Phoebe, that's it. Out of the chair. Come on. Out of the chair.
Phoebe!
Joey, could you get that?
Ugh, Joey...
What? I thought you were in your room.
No, I'm picking you up for our date. These are for you.
Oh, lilies. They're my favorite. Thank you.
And a brownie.
Well, half a brownie.
Actually, it's just a bag.
It's a long walk from the flower shop and I was starting to feel faint, so...
Oh, man, this is so great!
I actually feel like I'm going on a real date.
With a hint of morning sickness and I'm wearing underwear that goes up to about...
there.
Hey, come on. This is a real date. Uh...
So, nice place you got here.
Foosball, huh? Pizza box.
Oh, a subscription to Playboy. My kind of woman.
Actually, that's my roommate's.
I'd like to meet him. He sounds like a standup guy.
But he's very protective of me...
so you'd better watch yourself. - Ah.
Hey, so, this roommate of yours, is he good-looking?
- Mm-hm. - Oh, yeah.
- Must be tough to keep your hands off him. - Ha, ha.
Yeah, but I'm pretty sure he's gay.
No! No, he's not! Why are you trying to ruin the game?
Which brings us back, of course, to Greely's Theory of Dominance.
That's it for today.
Oh, uh, does anyone know where the Freeman Building is?
Yeah, it's the new building on Avenue A.
What? That's across town.
I'm supposed to teach a seminar there in 10 minutes.
Ooh, dude, that's not gonna happen.
Move it. Move it. Move it!
Hey! I'm the teacher!
Hello.
Sorry I'm a little late. Uh...
Whoa, a lot late.
Uh, well, let me start by, uh, introducing myself.
I'm, uh, Professor Geller.
So to sum up...
I'm Professor Geller. Good job today.
Now, the filet mignon, what comes with that?
A side of steamed vegetables.
Mm.
Instead of the vegetables...
is there any way that I could substitute the, um...
three-pound lobster?
You know what? Bring her both.
And I'll have the same.
Wow, this is shaping up to be a pretty good date.
Oh, I almost forgot. I didn't pay you the rent.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, no roommate stuff. We're on a date.
Okay. Wow, so I get to see what Joey Tribbiani is like on a date.
Do you have any moves?
No, I'm just myself, and if they don't like me for...
I'm sorry, I couldn't even get through that.
I knew it. Come on, tell me your moves.
Uh, all right. Um...
Well...
I start by having a bottle of wine sent to my table from a fan.
Oh, my God. And that works?
It does when you combine it with, "This is embarrassing.
I just want to have a normal life."
- Aw, you poor little famous man. - Mm-hm.
Oh, okay, how about this one?
I was gonna wait until the end of the night to kiss you...
but you're just so beautiful, I don't think I can.
Oh, my God! Ha.
Wow, that was fantastic! I almost leaned in. I really almost did.
All right, so tell me one of your moves.
All right. Ahem.
So where'd you grow up?
That's your move?
Boy, Rach, you're lucky you're hot.
- Come on, just answer the question. - Ugh. Queens.
And so were you close to your parents?
- With my mom. Not so much my dad. - Why not?
I don't know. I guess there's just always been this distance.
I mean, we both try to pretend it's not there, but it is.
Mm.
It's gotta be rough.
It is. Yeah, it's really tough. You know, sometimes I think...
Wow!
- Nice move! - Uh-huh.
- "Where'd you grow up?" So simple. - Thank you.
Ha, ha. Now, excuse me. I'm gonna go to the restroom.
- And now you're watching me walk away. - Yes, I am! Again, so simple.
Hey.
- You're not gonna believe what I did today. - Clearly wasn't showering or shaving.
I got good. I played this game all day, and now I rule at it.
They should change the name of it to "Ms. Chandler."
Although, I hope they don't.
You stayed home all day and played Ms. Pac-Man...
while I went off to work like some chump?
Uh-huh. I got the top ten scores. I erased Phoebe off the board. High-five!
What is the matter with your hand?
I been playing for eight hours.
It'll loosen up. Come on, check out the scores.
And also, look at the initials. They're dirty words.
- Chandler, why would you do that? - Because it's awesome.
You think this is clever?
They only give you three letters, so after A-S-S, it is a challenge.
- This one's not dirty. - It is when you put it together with that one.
Oh. Heh.
If you don't clear this off, you won't get one of those from me.
Ben's coming over here tomorrow. This can't be there.
- He won't know what they mean. - He's 7, not stupid.
- Have you talked to him lately? - Look, I'm gonna unplug it.
No, no! I'll have nothing to show for my day.
It'll be like I was at work.
No!
Hey, look! It's still there!
This thing must have some kind of primitive ROM chip in it or something!
- You gotta beat your scores. - With the claw?
Fine, I'll do it. We gotta get this off the screen.
Carol's still upset that you taught him "Pull my finger."
Pull my finger. My hand is messed up!
- I am not gonna answer that. - Oh, come on. Just pick one.
Between Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Ross...
if you had to... If you had to, who would you punch?
No one. They're my friends. I wouldn't punch any of them.
Chandler?
Yeah, but I don't know why.
- I'm having a wonderful time! - Me too.
Hey, Rach, can I just say...
I think this is the best date I ever had. - I know!
I've never laughed so hard. Did you see the wine come out my nose?
Yes. Joey, I think everybody saw the wine come out of your nose.
I gotta say, I never knew I could enjoy the non-sex part of a date so much.
That's because you have never been on a date with me before.
Huh.
All right. Now don't judge me.
I normally wait till my date leaves, but you live here.
I'm ripping into the swan.
Okay, well then, you don't judge me.
I'm gonna suck on the cellophane from the brownie I had before.
Mm. Mm.
So tell me, what are Joey Tribbiani's end-of-the-night moves?
Uh, well, if I want the girl to kiss me...
first thing I do is make my lips look irresistible.
How do you do it?
Now you can't tell anyone, but, uh...
I put on shiny lip balm.
- Oh, my God. - Like a moth to a flame, I'm telling you.
- Okay, all right, so now you go. - No, I don't want to tell you.
- Why not? - It's embarrassing.
More embarrassing than shiny raspberry lip balm?
I didn't say raspberry before, did I?
- Just tell me, Rach. Just tell me. - Ha, ha.
Okay. All right, stand up.
Well, when we're at the door...
I lightly press my lips against his.
Then move into his body, just for a second.
And then I make this sound:
Mmm.
I know it doesn't sound like anything, but it works.
Oh, yeah. That would work, yeah.
All right, I gotta go to bed. I had such a wonderful time.
- Mwah. - Oh, yeah.
Me too.
You were 50 minutes late to the class? Did you crawl there?
No, I ran, okay? It's really far.
When did people stop understanding "Get the hell out of my way"?
Why didn't you take a cab?
Ugh. Between the traffic and one-way streets, it'd take me twice as long.
Besides, I teach the class three times a week. Who am I, Rockefeller?
You're not gonna be able to keep doing this.
I have to. If I don't, they'll take the class away from me.
And I already put it in my family newsletter.
- Your what? - You've seen it, The Geller Yeller.
Right. Wow.
Besides, I figured out a faster route. I'm sure I can make it this time.
I just can't be afraid to get a little bit hit by cars.
- Hey. - Hi!
Hey, remember, um, last night when we were talking about Cujo?
Oh, yeah, I can't believe you haven't seen Cujo. What is wrong with you?
Relax, it's not like it's Citizen Kane.
Have you ever tried to sit through Citizen Kane?
Yeah, I know. It's really boring.
- But it's a big deal. - Yeah.
Anyway, I was thinking about renting Cujo sometime.
Well, yeah, all right. Let's do it tonight.
- Don't you have that big date tonight? - Oh, right.
- Hey, Joey, can I ask you something? - Yeah.
After our date last night, did you feel a little weird?
Oh, my God. You did too? It freaked me out. What was that?
I don't know.
I'm kind of thinking it was the lobster.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, the lobster.
- I was up sick all night. - Yeah, me too. All night.
Really? How come we didn't cross paths?
Yeah, well, that's because, uh...
I stayed in my room.
Yeah, you don't want to look in my hamper.
Okay, I got that.
I'll escape there. I'll come back here.
All right. Come on, Ms. Pac-Man...
Well, you're just a little bitch, aren't you?
Hey, you guys?
I'm sorry that I was hogging the game before.
Oh, my God, your friends have some unfortunate initials.
- They're all Chandler. - Chandler sucks.
- He couldn't have gotten this good. - I did.
- But it came at a price. - Ugh.
Ben's coming, and he can't see this.
Come on, by age 7, kids have already seen orgies.
Was it just me?
Yes, I made it! I'm on time!
Agh.
Okay, why don't we all, uh...
open our books to page 23...
where...
where you will see a, uh...
a bunch of, uh, red spots.
Okay, why don't, uh, you all start to read, while I...
Hey, are you all right? You seem a little distracted.
No, no, I'm fine. It's just...
Hey, can I ask you something?
Have you ever looked at someone that you've known for a while...
and suddenly seen them in a different way?
You mean like from behind?
Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly it.
You know what?
One time I saw this guy from behind, and he seemed totally normal.
And then he turned around and it was Stephen Baldwin!
Ooh, yeah. So you know exactly what I'm talking about.
- Totally! Wow. - Ha-ha-ha.
- Would you excuse me for a sec? - Yeah, sure.
Eh.
- God, Phoebe! You're on fire! - I know!
- You can do it! - Don't touch me!
Don't touch her!
All right, go left! Go right! Go right!
I can't! I can't!
No! You son of a...
Phoebe!
Oh, hi, Ben. No, don't look at the machine!
Aah! God! Thank God you're home.
- I'm watching Cujo. - Alone?
- Yes! What is wrong with this dog? - Did you get to the part...
where they're in the car and Cujo's throwing himself at the windshield?
No. No! Seriously, what's wrong with the dog?
What are you doing home? What happened to your date?
Oh, uh, it didn't work out.
Want to watch the rest of the movie with me?
Oh, uh, okay. Yeah.
I never thought I'd say this about a movie...
but I hope this dog dies.
What are you doing over there? Come sit here. Protect me.
Oh. Sure, yeah. Why not?
Okay.
- That's him, that's him! That's Cujo! - All right, I know.
It's gonna be okay.
Oh, my God. What's he gonna do now? I can't watch.
Ugh, seriously, how can you watch this? Aren't you scared?
Terrified.
So is everybody here? I got here a little early, myself.
Let us begin.
Now, the hadrosaurids have been unearthed in two main locations.
Here...
and here.
Now, as for the hadrosaurus...