Hey, I'm all packed and ready to go.
Well, that's right. Daddy and Uncle Joey are going on a trip today.
We're going to a conference in Barbados. Right?
- Uh-huh. - Can you say, "Barbados"?
Barbados.
Okay. I got to say, it means so much to me that you guys are coming
all the way over there to hear me give my speech.
Ooh, and I have a surprise. I had to pull some strings,
but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference. That's right!
These babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.
Do you have anything that will get us out of them?
Yeah, Ross, I mean, we're excited
to hear the speech, but the rest of the time,
we're going to want to do, you know, island stuff.
I think David will probably want to hear a few lectures.
- Oh, right, because he's a scientist. - No, no,
well, because, you know, he's been in Minsk for eight years,
and if he gets too much direct sunlight,
he'll die.
Okay, we better go. Yeah?
- So we'll see you guys tomorrow. - All right, let's do it.
A five-hour flight with Charlie, have a couple drinks,
get under that blanket and do what comes natural.
It's a blanket, Joe, not a cloak of invisibility.
Sync by chocomoon www.addic7ed.com
- Wow. This place is beautiful. - Look at all these paleontologists!
I know. There are going to be some pasty folks by the pool tomorrow.
Oh, my God, I can't believe you're here.
I think I've been recognized.
- This happens all the time. - Dr. Geller, I am such a huge fan.
That never happens.
I've been following your career for years. I can't wait for your keynote speech.
- Wow. This is very flattering. - I would love your autograph.
Uh... sure. Um...
- dear... - Sarah.
Sarah... I... dig you.
- Dr. Ross Geller. - Oh, thank you so much.
Sure. Oh, and, Sarah, I'd like to introduce you to my colleague, Professor Wheeler.
- And this is Joey Tribbiani. - Are you a paleontologist?
No, God, no, no. No, no, I'm an actor.
You probably recognize me from a little show called "The Days of Our Lives."
Dude, it's just "Days of Our Lives." There's no "the."
Okay, Ross. Boy, this guy... yeah. No, I play Dr. Drake Ramoray.
- I'm sorry, I don't own a TV. - You don't own a TV?
What's all your furniture pointed at?
David, can you help me?
I'm trying to explain to Chandler how a plane stays in the air.
Oh, certainly, that's a combination of Bernoulli's Principle
- and Newton's Third Law of Motion. - See?
Yeah, that's the same as, "It has something to do with wind."
All right, I'm going to go pick up a few things for the trip.
Oh, I should go, too. Oh, now, tomorrow...
do you guys want to share a cab to the airport,
or should Mike and I just meet you there?
Mike? Who's Mike?
- Mike's your... your ex, uh, boyfriend. - That's right!
Oh, yeah. Wow. I had totally forgotten about him.
That's a... that's a blast from the past, huh?
No, it's okay, it's okay. Honest mistake.
It really doesn't mean anything. I mean, you know...
Monica refers to Chandler as Richard all the time.
- She does? - Let's get you out of here.
Well, at least you took me down with you.
I'm so sorry. I just... I keep thinking about Mike.
I'm crazy about David, and we're having so much fun together.
Why... why do I miss Mike? That's just... that's... that's going to go away, right?
- Well, I guess, in time. - Yeah.
I mean, my feelings for Richard are certainly gone.
You just did it again. Chandler... your feelings for Chandler are certainly gone.
Boy, Phoebe's still pretty hung up on that Mike, huh?
I wouldn't read too much into it.
Still, you know, a girl calls you by her ex-boyfriend's name,
- that's not a good thing, right? - David, let me stop you there,
'cause I think I see where this is going. I'm not very good at giving advice.
See, if you want advice, go to Ross or Monica, or Joey
if the thing you want advice about is pizza toppings
or a burning sensation when you pee.
Sorry, I just... wish there was something I could do, you know?
- Well... well, you know Phoebe... - Seriously, we're going to do this?
I'm sorry. I just wish I could make her forget about Mike already, you know?
- Why did Phoebe and Mike break up? - Oh, because his penis was too big.
I'm sorry. That's the kind of thing I do.
They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married.
Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
That's great. That's... that's great. I'll propose to her.
What?
Well, I was probably going to do it at some point.
- No, I didn't mean now. - Well, why not? It's brilliant.
Good-bye, Mike. We'll see you at the wedding, fella.
Well, we probably won't invite you to the wedding, but...
well, thank you, Chandler. Sincerely, thank you.
Well, you're welcome.
Glad I could help.
- How do you think I should propose? - David, I'm pretending to read here.
I'm sorry.
Yeah. How you doing? Uh-huh.
- Hey, hey. - Hey.
You said you were going to wear a thong. Where's the thong?
Ha, ha, I didn't mean a thong. I meant thongs.
You really should have been more clear about that.
- Hey. - Hey.
You're never going to guess who I just saw downstairs.
Oh, uh, uh, Britney Spears.
Yeah, she never misses these conferences.
- No, I just saw Dr. Kenneth Schwartz! - Oh, my God!
- I know. - Did you talk to him?
Oh, yeah. What am I going to say to Kenneth Schwartz?
You could say, "Hey, Kenny, how come you're not Britney Spears?"
- You ready to go? - You... you're going to go now?
- I thought we could hang out. - Oh, I can't. I have seminars all day,
and I promised Ross I'd look at his speech.
But maybe we could have dinner later? Out on the balcony? It would be romantic.
Will you wear a thong?
I will if you will.
You got yourself a very weird deal.
I'm good. I have dinner plans, so...
- So, you going to be okay? - Yeah, yeah.
I got tons of stuff I could do. I'm going to hit the beach, go swimming...
Joe, have you looked outside?
No. Why?
- Oh, man! - There's an indoor pool.
- You could swim there. - Yeah.
I wasn't going to swim. I was going to dig a hole.
Wow, that "Mike" thing was interesting. I don't know what's going to happen
- with Phoebe and David. - I do. Want a hint, huh?
I do. I do.
Okay, I'm sensing this is some kind of wordplay,
because you are pink with barely controlled glee.
- David's going to propose to Phoebe. - What? Why?
Because we were talking about ways that he could beat Mike,
and I told him that Phoebe wanted to get married.
Chandler, we have talked about this.
You are not supposed to give people advice!
Now, couldn't you have made some sort of inappropriate joke?
I did! A penis one.
Just so I know, what was so wrong about what I said?
They've only been going out for a few weeks.
Phoebe is completely hung up on Mike. I mean, she'll say no,
David's heart will be broken, it'll be too hard for them to recover from,
and then Phoebe will end up alone again.
Man, that's some bad advice.
Oh, hey. Thank God you guys are here.
- What... what's going on? - Everything is upside down here.
It rains all day long, nobody watches TV, and Ross is famous.
All right, I don't want to alarm anybody,
but Monica's hair is twice as big as it was when we landed.
Okay, when I go places with high humidity,
it gets a little extra body, okay?
That's why our honeymoon photos look like me and Diana Ross.
Come on, I'll show you guys where to check in.
Oh, honey... make sure we get a king-size bed.
Oh, David, get one for us, too. Oh, and see if they have a heart-shaped one.
And with mirrors on the ceiling.
And make sure our room isn't next to theirs.
Oh, you guys are so lucky you're here with people.
You know, it's just such a romantic place.
That's all... I just wish I could... share it with a guy.
- Not Joey. - Not Joey, no.
I was... I was just lusting after Chandler.
Yeah, right.
So, um... I'm proposing to Phoebe tonight.
Tonight?
Isn't an engagement ring supposed to have a diamond?
Oh, there it is.
Yes, well, being a failed scientist,
doesn't pay quite as well as you might think.
That's, um, that's one-seventieth of a carat.
And the clarity is... is quite poor.
Nice.
- Monica, can I talk to you for a second? - Okay.
David's going to propose to Phoebe tonight.
See what happens when you give people advice?
- Well, I hope you told him not to. - That would be advice!
Okay, fine. I'll handle this.
- Phoebe? - Yeah?
- I need to talk to you. - Are you leaving the Supremes?
Okay, my husband just gave your boyfriend some very bad advice.
David's going to propose to you tonight.
Wow. Really?
That's fantastic.
What? Are you serious? You want to marry him?
- What about Mike? - Oh, okay, you want me to marry Mike?
All right, well, let's just gag him and handcuff him
and force him down the aisle, okay?
I mean, I can just see it. "Mike, do you take Phoebe?"
You know, it's every girl's dream.
Do you really think that marrying someone else is the right answer?
Sure. Look, okay, bottom line... I love Mike... David!
Uh... David. I love David.
Don't look at me that way, Roseanne Roseannadanna.
"By using CT scans and computer imaging, we can, in a very real way,
bring the Mesozoic Era into the 21st century."
It's great.
You're going to be the hit of the conference.
Oh, and you know what? It'll be even better tomorrow
because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey
checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet.
- Hey, guys. - The chocolates aren't here yet.
Damn it!
Ross just read me his speech. It's fantastic.
Oh, is it on the computer? 'Cause I'd love to give it a read.
If you want to check your e-mail, just ask.
What? May I?
What's with the rain, Geller? I mean, when I signed up for dino week,
nobody said anything about it being monsoon season.
Actually, the wet season is June to December.
It's not the time, Charlie.
Oh, no. No, no! Dear God, no!
Oh, what, did someone outbid you for the teapot?
Secret teapot?
Your computer, I don't know what... everything's gone.
- What do you mean? - It must be a virus.
I think it erased your hard drive.
What? Oh, my God. What did you do?
Someone I don't know sent me an e-mail, and I opened it.
- Why? Why would you open it? - Well, it didn't say, "This is a virus."
- What did it say? - "Nude...
"pictures of Anna Kournikova."
- I'm so sorry. - What am I going to do?
- My speech is gone, Chandler. - It's not gone.
I mean, I'm sure you printed out a copy. You have a hard copy, right?
No, I don't!
Well, you must be pretty mad at yourself right now.
- It's really gone? - Yep.
I'd like to thank you guys for coming down here
to complain about the rain and ruin my career.
- I just feel awful. - Yeah, you should.
Nude pictures of Anna Kournikova? She's never even won a major tournament.
Well, I tried Billie Jean King, but...
You know, you and Monica have the same I'm-going-to-kill-you look.
I can usually make it go away by kissing her.
Get out.
You know, this happens all the time to my computer at work.
- Well, what do you do? - Well, I usually go
play Tetris on somebody else's computer.
I can't believe this. I can't believe this is happening.
I have to give the keynote speech tomorrow, okay?
I have to stand up in front of all these people. What am I going to say?
I could teach you a speech that I memorized for auditions.
I don't think your monologue from "Star Wars" is going to help me right now, Joe.
Ross, Ross, we can solve this. I just heard your speech.
- We can re-create it. We've got all night. - What, you really think we can do that?
Oh, wait. Joey and I are supposed to have dinner.
Hey, don't worry about that. I mean, Ross needs you, you know?
And Rachel and I will stay and help any way we can.
All right. Okay, let's do it.
Um, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating.
And then, then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment
of the Mesozoic Era... the break up of Pangaea... hello.
And then there's the overview of the Triassic.
Ooh, ooh, any chance any of this happened in a galaxy far, far away?
- Hello? - Okay, Mike?
Enough is enough. Now, you love Phoebe, and she loves you,
so you need to get over your whole I-never-want-to-get-married thing
and step up!
Who is this?
This is Monica. I'm Phoebe's friend.
Listen, Phoebe is back with David,
and he's going to propose to her, and she's going to say yes,
but I know she really wants to be with you.
He's, he's going to propose?
I'm sorry. Did you say something? I can't hear through all this damned hair!
Look, if Phoebe wants to marry David, she should.
I'm not going to stand in the way of that. Neither should you.
You don't tell me what to do. I tell you what to do.
Just call her. She's at the Paradise Hotel in Barbados.
And while I've got you, you've got curly hair.
What do you do in the humidity?
Damn it!
- Well, I hope you're happy. - Aw, I hope you're happy too, honey.
Phoebe's going to say yes to David.
See? That's what happens when you meddle in people's lives.
Phoebe's going to say yes? That's great.
No, it's not! Because she's still in love with Mike!
- And there's no chance that will work? - No, I called him.
- It's not going to happen. - Meddler! Meddler!
Well, if you hadn't meddled to start with,
then I wouldn't have had to go in there and meddle myself!
Now, no matter how much we meddle, we'll never be able to unmeddle
the thing that you meddled up in the first place!
This vacation sucks!
- I'm so bored. - Mm.
Stupid rain. We can't do anything.
Well, I brought some books. We could read.
Hey, it hasn't come to that yet, okay?
Hey, hey, hey, don't mind if I do.
I'm sorry, sir. These are for the pharmaceutical convention.
Hey, Rach, you feel like going to a convention?
- We can't. We're not pharmacists. - I know we're not,
but, uh... Frank Madaio and... Ava
Churara... wumba... wum...
- "Kate Miller." - Kate Miller it is.
- Okay. - Oh, good...
And that's the most sex I'm going to have this weekend.
Well, in that case, should I make sure it's on real good?
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
Uh, and then, and then you said that thing about, about bringing the Mesozoic Era
into the 21st century.
Well, yeah. That's it?
- Yeah. - Oh, my God! We did it!
Actually, I did it, Ross. You remembered shockingly little of your own speech.
Yes, but I did make a pyramid out of the bath products.
Oh, this is, this is amazing. Thank you. Thank you so much.
That, that's a pretty necklace.
Thank you.
Hey, what do you say we celebrate? Champagne?
Oh, yeah! Hey, save the cork, and that way, we can fill the bottle with water,
and put it back so they don't charge you.
Oh, my God, I love you.
Oh, this is such a cute picture of Emma. And is this your son,
or... just some kid whose picture you bring on vacation?
Yeah, that's Ben, my son from my first marriage.
- Your first marriage? - Yeah.
You've been married more than once?
No, no.
Mm.
So, why'd you break up?
Oh, it was...
oh it was... complicated, you know? She, uh, she was...
gay.
Oh, my God!
This is so cool!
Okay, odd thing to get excited about.
No, it's just that I was engaged to a guy who turned out to be gay.
Hey! High-five!
Didn't you feel so stupid that you didn't see the signs?
My fiancé was always going away on these long weekends with his "tennis partner."
My wife had a workout friend she went to the gym with every day for a year.
She didn't get any fitter.
Right, and everybody finds out, and they're,
like, "Oh, I knew all along." - I know.
If you knew, why didn't you tell me, you know? I mean, call, leave a note.
"Hi, just dropped by to say your wife's gay."
- I know! - And then,
and then you try to make the best of a bad situation
so you float the idea of a threesome.
I didn't do that.
Me, neither.
Well, who knew? Pharmacists are fun.
I know. That old lady at the end was ready to take you home.
Not enough pills in the world, Rach.
But what about you, huh? You're the single one. See anybody in there you like?
Well, let's see. There was that really big guy that I was talking to
with the really nice breasts.
But what about back home?
Anything going on there? Anybody you like?
No.
- There is. You're blushing! - No, I'm not blushing.
I'm sunburned.
From, you know, the rain.
You like someone. Tell me who it is.
- Who is it. Come on. - No. Joey!
Come on, who? Who do you like? Tell me. You're not getting away that easy.
- Who do you like? - Stop it. Joey, come on!
It doesn't matter, you know? It's not like anything's going to happen.
What? Why not? Rach, who can you not get?
Okay, okay. You really want to know who it is?
- Yeah. Who is it? - Do you?
- Yeah. - Hey.
- I just left you a message.
Ross and I were going to go grab a bite,
but now that you're here, maybe we could go have that dinner.
Right. Of course. Hey, did you guys finish the speech?
Yep, we got it. We got it. Thank you so much.
- I had a great time. - Yeah.
Hey, look, and this isn't over, because I really want to know who...
Later, later.
- So, um, shall we? - Yeah.
- Okay. Bye. - Okay, good night.
Night.
- Okay, good night. - Night, Ross.
I can't believe she's going to say yes to David
when she's clearly in love with Mike.
You know, it's very hard to take you seriously when you look like that.
Um... Phoebe, um, I have, uh, something I want to say.
Oh, my God, he's going to do it now. Please, I cannot watch this. Let's go.
I think we have some time. Have you ever heard him talk?
"Uh, Phoebe, um, I would be honored if, uh, uh..." Spit it out, David!
Uh, Phoebe, um...
Well, you're an amazing woman, and the time we spent apart was, was... unbearable.
Of course, the sanitation strikes in Minsk didn't help.
Sure, okay, yeah.
But, um, well, now that we're together again, I don't ever want to be apart.
So to that end...
- Oh, my God, Mike. - It's David, actually.
No, Mike's here.
Oh, hey, Mike.
Hi, David.
Chandler. Monic... oh!
It's the humidity!
- Hi, Phoebe. - What are you doing here?
I have a question I need to ask you.
I have a question I was kind of going to ask her myself.
Yeah, I understand, but before you do, she really needs to hear this.
Okay.
- Would you care for my seat as well? - Actually, yeah, that'd be great.
Well, that's fair. You've had a long trip.
Phoebe, I love you.
I've missed you so much these last few months.
And I thought we were apart for a good reason.
But then, I suddenly realized that there was no reason good enough
to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you.
Uh... I... I... this kind of steps on the toes of what I was going to say.
I'm sorry, David. But she really has to know this.
All right, but after this, I want to see you outside.
If the rain stops.
You're the most incredible woman I've ever met.
How could I lose you? Now, I don't actually have a ring.
I... I... I have a ring.
I wouldn't brag too much about that thing, big guy.
But, Phoebe...
will you marry me?
No.
Um... ha-ha.
I love you. But I never needed a proposal from you.
I just needed to know that we were headed somewhere.
- You know, that we had a future. - We can have any future you want.
Okay, well, I'm, uh... I'm going to take off.
Oh, God, David, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.
Just so I know, uh... if I had asked first...
Yeah, I... I... I might have said yes. But that would've been wrong. I mean...
Please, you don't have to explain.
Perhaps if I hadn't gone to Minsk,
things would've worked out for us. And I wouldn't have ruined my career...
or lost that toe to frostbite.
It was a good trip.
- Is it okay if I hug you now? - Oh, yes.
Because of our meddling! All right?
Oh, isn't this nice? So quiet, I could just lie here all day.
Oh, I know.
- Open your drapes! Open your drapes! - So glad we got adjoining rooms.
- The sun is out! - Look!
Hey, remember when I had corneas?
You go down to the pool and reserve the chairs,
and I'll get the magazines and the lotion.
Uh, ladies, Ross' speech is in 45 minutes.
- No! - Damn it!
Walls are pretty thin, guys.
"Then we have to weigh the data from recent MRI scans and DNA testing,
"which call into question information gathered
from years of simple carbon dating."
Look at that woman sitting out by the pool getting tan.
She's all leathery and wrinkled. I'm so jealous!
"Finally, factor in the profusion of new species recently discovered.
"Giganotosaurus.
- Argentinosaurus." - Not to mention "Coldsaurus."
"And that's just the herbivores. I'm not even going to discuss the carnivores.
"Their heads are already too big.
Which is ironic, considering their stunted cerebral development."
Really?
"But all kidding aside... in much the same way
that Homo ergaster is thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus..."
- What? - He said "erectus."
- You're kidding, right? - No, he really said it.
"And while there are certainly vast differences
between these Mesozoic fossils and the example of Homo erectus..."
Erectus?
- Homo. - Right.
"In a very real way, we can bring the Mesozoic Era into the 21st century."
Thank you.
Congratulations.
- Great. - Really?
- Really great. - Oh, thanks, guys.
- Oh. - I thought it was wonderful.
Jarvis Oberblau. Cornell.
I mean, the ideas you put forth. And from someone so young and...
Okay, now we're just holding hands.
All right. Well, um, we're going to hit the beach. It was really great.
- Oh, thank you so much. - Yeah. Oh, and so funny.
- Take it easy. - Okay. All right, thanks. Thanks so much.
I can't tell you how much it means to me that you were here.
What, are you kidding? We wouldn't have missed it.
Oh.
I'm back.
Okay. Well, excuse me?
Hey.
- Well? - You were incredible.
I mean, you blew them away.
I can't tell you how great it was to look out into the crowd and see your face.
I mean... did you know you were mouthing the words along with me?
- I was not. - No, it's okay.
It made me feel like a rock star.
Oh, my God, I'm your groupie.
Hey, I better not find you naked in my hotel room.
Look, I took it too far.
Oh, I can't believe it's raining again. It's so unfair.
Well, on the bright side, now we won't have to see
all these paleontologists with their shirts off.
Not you guys.
You've got it goin' on.
- So what are we going to do today? - They have a game room downstairs.
I think they have, like, Ping-Pong and stuff.
Ping-Pong? Honey, they have Ping-Pong.
- Let's play. - I don't think so.
- Why not? - Because you know how competitive you get.
And while I say it's cute, others disagree and I'm lying.
- I'm not always that bad. - Oh, yeah?
What happened when we played last time?
I punched you.
- And...? - Phoebe.
- And...? - I clunked your heads together.
- Hey. There you are. - Hey, listen,
as soon as it stops raining, we have got to go snorkeling.
Some kid told me about this sea turtle, and if you blow bubbles in his face,
he chases you.
I'm sorry, I can't. I'm running a discussion group all afternoon.
Oh.
Well, that's okay. I'll find someone else to do it.
I'd do it alone, but, uh...
I don't... I don't know what happens if the sea turtle catches you.
God, you know, I feel so bad.
I haven't seen you this whole trip. Especially last night.
Hey, don't worry about it. It was fine.
I ended up having the best time with Rachel.
I just felt bad for you, stuck in that room working on Ross' speech.
Actually, it turned out to be a lot of fun.
Oh. Well, at least we're both having fun, right?
Is it weird that it's not with each other?
Yeah.
A little bit, yeah.
I think we need to talk.
Yeah, I think we do.
About what?
- Come on, you guys, it'll be fun. - All right, all right,
- I'll play if we don't keep score. - Well, then how do we know who wins?
- Nobody wins. - So we're just four losers. Super!
- Well, I'm not playing with her. - Yeah, I'm out.
- I'll play you. - Okay.
- Mike, you don't know what you're doing. - She gets crazy.
This scar is from Pictionary.
I think I'll be all right.
- You want to volley a bit for serve? - Sure, if you want to.
Oh!
Oh, by the way, um, I'm awesome.
Oh, dear God, there's two of them.
- You ready to play? - Hell, yeah.
- Did you know this about him? - No idea. I thought he was soft, like you.
- You want to make it more interesting? - How much were you thinking?
- Ten bucks a game? - Make it 50.
- I'll make it a hundred. - One thousand...
Okay!
We'll flip to see who goes first. You got a quarter?
No. Either of you girls got a quarter?
Honey, try to focus the trash talk on him.
- Monica, you call it. - Heads. No, tails! Heads!
- Tails. - Oh, what are the chances?
- Hah! My point! - Oh, no, I don't think so.
According to standard table tennis rules, if at any
time a player uses his non-racquet-bearing hand
to touch the playing surface, he or she forfeits the point.
He was a lawyer.
All of the East Coast is having beautiful weather.
In New York, it's 72 and sunny.
Oh. Weather bitch.
It's open.
- Hi, Joe. - Hey.
- What, is everything okay? - Charlie and I broke up.
No. Why?
Well, she said we have nothing in common.
That's crazy.
No, it's not. We have nothing in common.
- Yeah, that's true. - Yeah.
I mean, she should be with someone more like... Ross.
You know, I mean he uses all those big words, too.
- Man, smart people are dull. - Well, hey!
Okay, Rach.
I feel so stupid, you know. Why do I keep going after the wrong girls?
- Well, what are you talking about? - Oh, come on.
I mean, there's you, then there's Charlie...
that's like... what the hell's my problem?
I just...
Okay. Um... maybe you're not always going after the wrong girl.
I'm telling you, Rach, Charlie is not right for me.
- Yeah, I'm not talking about her. - Well, then, who?
The waitress I went out with last month?
- You know what? Forget it. - No, no, no, no.
- Who are you talking about? - No, I... I... I don't... I don't...
I actually don't know who I'm talking about, so...
- Okay. - Yeah.
All right, well... I'm going to go see if I can get a room for tonight.
- And, uh, I'll see you later. - Yeah, sure. Okay.
- You like me? - Okay...
- let's not make a big thing about this. - It's a huge thing.
Okay, not working with me, Joe.
Look, here's the thing. Lately, I have been having thoughts.
Musings, if you will.
- Wha... for how long? - Oh, only like a month.
- A month? - Well...
dial it down. Listen, okay, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do.
I've been thinking about, you know, us.
- Okay, dial it up a little. - Oh, you're right. Okay...
- I just have one question. - Shoot.
- What the hell are you doing? - I'm not trying to do anything.
It's just, we have such a good time when we're together, you know?
And I mean, aren't you just a little curious what it would be like?
Am I curious? I mean, I'm as curious as... as...
George.
Who?
- Curious George. - Oh!
You know, the monkey and the guy with the yellow hat.
- Yes, of course. I remember him. - He had a paper route.
Yeah, he did.
- See, this is what I'm talking about. - Yeah, I know we're great,
but, Rach, no, this... this can't happen.
- Can't it just happen a little bit? - Well...
- no! No! It can't happen at all! - Why? Why not?
Because, look, no one wants this to happen more than me, okay?
I have gone over this moment in my head a hundred times
and not once did I ever say no.
But... I couldn't do it to Ross.
- But that wasn't going to stop you before. - I know. I know,
but I've thought about it a lot since then, and it just wouldn't be right.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, too.
Oh, God. I shouldn't have said anything.
No, no. No, no, no. Hey, hey, we'll be fine.
- Like you said, it's no big deal. - It's not a big deal.
- No big deal. - It's so not a big deal.
- Yeah. I'll see you later. All right, hey. - Okay. Great.
Okay... oh!
Oh! I'm sorry, I think... I think that may have missed the table.
- Oh, do you? - Uh, yeah.
- Do you? - Uh, yeah.
- Do ya? - Uh, yeah!
- You really find this attractive on him? - Oh, yeah.
Are you telling me you're not even a little turned on by Monica right now?
I think this is the first time in our marriage
that I felt like the more attractive one.
All right, come on, Mike. You can beat her.
Knock that dog off her head.
- Oh, damn it! - I sleep with him.
- Game point. - Don't get too cocky.
Remember, I won the last one.
Oh, by the way, how did that feel, losing to a girl?
You know, you should really look in the mirror before you call yourself that.
- No! No! No! - And that's how it's done.
Okey-dokey.
You've each won a game, and I've lost what's felt like a year of my life.
So everybody goes home a winner.
- Best out of three? - That's what I'm thinking.
Should I use my invisibility to fight crime or for evil?
Serve the ball, chump.
"Serve the ball, chump."
Okay, better comebacks, Mike. Better comebacks.
I'm just saying, I have a cabin in the Adirondacks.
And if you ever want to get away from the city, well, that'd be...
just nifty.
Ooh, well, um... I've kind of got a lot on my plate right now.
Not that I wouldn't love a weekend in the country with a strange man.
- Jarvis? - Oh, you're back.
- Um, this is my wife, Nancy. - Well, get out.
Ross, can I talk to you for a minute?
Yes, please.
Um, so, what's going on?
Um... well... Joey and I broke up.
- Oh, my God. What... what happened? - Joey is a great guy,
but we're just... we're so different.
I mean, like, during your speech, he kept laughing at "Homo erectus."
I knew that was him.
Anyway, I just... I think it's for the best.
- Hey. Hey, you okay? - I guess.
There was, um...
there was another reason that I thought it was time to end it with Joey.
I started to realize that I was having feelings for someone else.
Okay, Geller, last day of the conference.
You know what happens to the keynote speaker.
Uh, Professor Klarik, we're kind of in the middle of a conversation here.
Yeah. Can't you guys just throw him in the pool later?
Or we could throw you both in now.
Okay, gentlemen, please. Aren't we a little old for this?
I mean, we're scientists, all right? We're academics,
and most importantly, you will have to catch us first.
Go! Go! Go!
Okay, so it's tied again: 41 to 41.
- Okay, look, enough is enough. - No.
- I just have two more points to beat him. - Monica, that was also true an hour ago.
I mean, please, look at you.
Your hand is blistered. You can barely stand. Your hair is inexplicable!
Okay, you've already proven you're just as good as he is.
Now, we've missed our dinner reservations. So now let's just go upstairs,
order room service, take a shower and shave your head.
I can't just walk away. I've put in four hours.
- But... - Look, you knew this about me
when you married me.
You agreed to take me in sickness and in health.
Well, this is my sickness.
- What about the obsessive cleaning? - That's just good sense.
Ow!
- You okay? - No, no, honey, I'm okay.
I shake it off. Oh, God, no shaking! No shaking! No shaking.
Oh, my God. I can't play.
- So you forfeit? - Mike wins?
I can't believe it. I lost.
- No, you didn't. - What?
- Because I'm going to play for you. - You can't do that.
It's okay. I don't care which of them I beat.
Okay, we're taking that paddle home, mister.
- Honey, you don't have to do this. - Yes, I do.
Now, I may not understand why you have to win so badly,
but if it's important to you, then it's important to me.
Because I love you.
But... you suck.
You're welcome, sweetheart.
All right, Mike, let's get this over with. Sudden death.
- Whoever wins this point, wins. - Okay.
- Oh, my God. You're good. - It's like watching porn.
And that's how it's done.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! That was so amazing.
Well, when did you...?
Hold on, I almost forgot. Loser!
- When did you stop sucking? - I never sucked. I just didn't want you
- to know how good I was. - Why?
- I don't know. - Well, this is so great.
Now we can enter into doubles tournaments.
That's why.
- Are they still looking for us? - Yeah, yeah.
The bartender said they split up into two search parties...
the herbivores and the carnivores.
You know, we, as a group, are not the coolest.
Oh! Look out.
- I don't think they saw us. - I don't think they did.
Um, so... I started to tell you something earlier. Um...
there... there was another reason I realized it was time to end it with Joey.
I, um, I kind of realized I was starting to have feelings
for someone else.
Huh.
And can I... can I ask who?
I think you know.
I think I know too, but I've been really wrong about this stuff in the past, so...
- I'm sorry. We, uh... we can't. - All right, all right.
I mean, you just went out with my best friend, you know.
I just think it would be a really, really bad idea.
Or not. I mean...
What?
Oh.
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