1 00:00:03,796 --> 00:00:05,589 Thank you guys for having us over. 2 00:00:05,756 --> 00:00:09,260 - Yeah, this is fun, couples night. - I don't know why we don't hang out... 3 00:00:09,427 --> 00:00:12,596 - ... with married couples more often. - Because every time we do... 4 00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:15,975 you make jokes about swinging and scare them away. 5 00:00:17,101 --> 00:00:21,022 You mean that Portuguese couple? Yeah, like you wouldn't have done it. 6 00:00:22,982 --> 00:00:25,735 Hey, you guys, I have great news. 7 00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:30,948 - Ross, we're kind of in the middle of dinner. - Oh, well, I already ate, but sure. 8 00:00:33,284 --> 00:00:37,288 - Guess what happened at work today. - A dinosaur died a million years ago? 9 00:00:37,455 --> 00:00:41,459 Uh, try 65 million years ago. And then try: Shh! 10 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:47,673 My tenure review board met today, and I hear it's looking really good. 11 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:48,883 Wow. - Yeah. 12 00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:51,677 Do you have any idea what this means in academic circles? 13 00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:53,888 I am gonna get laid. 14 00:00:56,057 --> 00:00:58,142 - Hi, you guys. Hey. 15 00:00:58,309 --> 00:00:59,643 Oh, Italian. 16 00:01:00,061 --> 00:01:02,354 No one— No one wanted seconds, right? 17 00:01:02,521 --> 00:01:03,898 No, I'm good. 18 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:07,568 Guys, you're never gonna believe it. This headhunter called me. 19 00:01:07,777 --> 00:01:11,739 I have a meeting tomorrow with Gucci. Gucci wants me. 20 00:01:11,906 --> 00:01:13,824 - I'm up for tenure. - Congratulations. 21 00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:16,911 - You too. What are the odds? - Oh... 22 00:01:17,161 --> 00:01:18,662 Guess what. 23 00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:22,792 I finally got that seed out of my teeth. 24 00:01:24,502 --> 00:01:26,212 I don't know who I'm happiest for. 25 00:01:26,378 --> 00:01:29,090 I do. He's been working on that all day. 26 00:02:21,392 --> 00:02:25,271 Hey, Mon, was it weird changing your name to Geller Bing? 27 00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:29,191 No. No, it felt nice to acknowledge this. 28 00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:31,861 - Where'd you go to do it? - Um, the— 29 00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:34,905 The Ministry of Names... 30 00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:37,741 Bureau. 31 00:02:38,576 --> 00:02:40,077 You never did it. 32 00:02:40,244 --> 00:02:42,538 I'm sorry. It's just the idea of— 33 00:02:42,746 --> 00:02:45,457 Of being an official Bing. 34 00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:49,587 Hey, I will have you know that— 35 00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:53,841 Ah, who am I kidding? Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me. 36 00:02:55,801 --> 00:02:56,886 - Here you go. - Thanks. 37 00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:59,054 Honey, would you want me to take your name? 38 00:02:59,263 --> 00:03:02,474 Oh, it's up to you. It's your name. You've gotta live with it. 39 00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:05,936 - Let's see. Call me Mrs. Hannigan. - Mrs. Hannigan? 40 00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:08,439 What, can't you see I'm in the middle of something? 41 00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:11,692 I like it. 42 00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:14,612 - Hey, guys. Hey, Joe. 43 00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:17,740 We got things to check out at the new house. You want to come? 44 00:03:17,907 --> 00:03:21,202 - No, thank you. - You're not happy about us moving... 45 00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,787 but you're the only one who hasn't seen the house. 46 00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:25,623 You'll see how close it is to the city. 47 00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:28,626 No, it's not close. You said it was in escrow. 48 00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:31,003 I couldn't even find that on the map. 49 00:03:34,590 --> 00:03:38,010 Joey, please come. It would mean so much to us. 50 00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:42,973 You know what? You are my friends. I want to be supportive. 51 00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:45,392 - I will come with you. Shotgun. - Damn it. 52 00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:48,479 See you guys later. We'll pick you up at 11. 53 00:03:48,646 --> 00:03:50,689 - So glad you're coming. - All right. 54 00:03:51,649 --> 00:03:55,194 - Good for you. That was really mature. - What? The only reason I'm going... 55 00:03:55,361 --> 00:03:58,656 to their stupid new house is to point out everything wrong with it... 56 00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:01,533 so they don't move. I'm gonna make them stay here. 57 00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:04,370 You're a strange kind of grown-up. 58 00:04:06,038 --> 00:04:09,291 Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. 59 00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:12,962 Believe me. There's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed, and— 60 00:04:13,128 --> 00:04:18,467 - Whoa. Can we not talk about that now? - All right. Prude. 61 00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:23,222 Look, Monica and Chandler really love this house. 62 00:04:23,389 --> 00:04:25,683 You are not gonna talk them into staying here. 63 00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:28,560 Hey, I can convince people to do anything, you know? 64 00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:31,897 I bet I could even get Mike to do that thing. What is it'? 65 00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:37,695 I am not gonna help you do that! 66 00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:39,905 Oh, my God. 67 00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:50,332 Hi. Um, I'm here to see Mr. Campbell, with Gucci. 68 00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:53,585 The reservation's probably under Gucci. 69 00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:56,839 It's spelled like "gucky," which can be confusing. 70 00:04:57,881 --> 00:05:01,635 Mr. Campbell's not here yet. Let me show you to his table. 71 00:05:05,306 --> 00:05:08,434 Oh, my God. That's my boss. You have to seat us somewhere else. 72 00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,811 I'm sorry, that's always Mr. Campbell's table. 73 00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:15,024 But my boss cannot see me. I'm interviewing for another job. 74 00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:18,694 - I know. With Gucky. - Shh! 75 00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:23,782 - Rachel? - I'm on a date. 76 00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:26,327 That's great. 77 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:30,039 Yeah, it is. Yeah, you know, it's tough. Single mom. Career. 78 00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:32,833 You gotta get out there. 79 00:05:33,042 --> 00:05:36,587 - Well, you've got a good energy. - Oh. 80 00:05:36,754 --> 00:05:38,088 - Rachel? - Yes, hi. 81 00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:39,715 - James Campbell. - Hi. 82 00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,425 - Excuse us. - Please. 83 00:05:41,592 --> 00:05:42,926 Okay. 84 00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:44,136 Oh. 85 00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:47,097 He's cute. 86 00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,099 So... 87 00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:51,685 your resume is quite impressive. 88 00:05:52,353 --> 00:05:55,939 My, ha, ha... My résumé? 89 00:05:56,106 --> 00:06:01,487 I wouldn't— I wouldn't call my online dating profile a résumé. 90 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:05,032 Dating profile? No, I'm— I'm talking about the work résumé. 91 00:06:08,786 --> 00:06:12,456 Whatever happened to just singing for no reason? 92 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:16,377 Maybe people found it weird. 93 00:06:17,836 --> 00:06:19,963 - Maybe. 80... 94 00:06:20,506 --> 00:06:23,467 - Why do you want to leave Ralph Lauren? - What? 95 00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:25,302 - I don't. - You don't? 96 00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:27,346 No, I love— I love it there. 97 00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:30,682 Well, if you don't want to leave, why are we having this lunch? 98 00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:33,185 That is my boss. 99 00:06:33,352 --> 00:06:34,436 What? 100 00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:36,563 That is my boss. 101 00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,482 That's Hugo Boss? 102 00:06:45,614 --> 00:06:50,035 God, this place is so depressing. If I had to work here, I'd kill myself. 103 00:06:53,414 --> 00:06:55,582 But you obviously haven't. 104 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,837 - How can I help you? - I need to change my name, please. 105 00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:03,674 See, I need to change it because I'm hiding from the law. 106 00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,719 You're fun. 107 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,973 - You need to fill out this form. - Okay. Well, just so I know— 108 00:07:11,140 --> 00:07:13,475 I don't know how it works. My name is Buffay... 109 00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:15,436 and my husband's name is Hannigan. 110 00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:18,689 So is it supposed to be "Buffay-Hannigan" or "Hannigan-Buffay"? 111 00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:21,442 - It can be anything you want. - Well, not anything. 112 00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:24,153 Yeah. Anything. 113 00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:28,031 Oh, this could take a while. 114 00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:31,910 - Get out of my line. - Okay. 115 00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:37,749 - Hey. Hey, Pheebs. 116 00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:40,586 Oh, not anymore. I changed it today. 117 00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:44,256 - Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Hannigan. - Wrong again. 118 00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,218 Apparently, you can change it to anything. 119 00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:51,430 So I thought, "All right, here's an opportunity to be creative." 120 00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:55,350 So meet Princess Consuela Bananahammock. 121 00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:04,193 That's what we were gonna name the baby. 122 00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:10,324 - Phoebe. - Ah, Princess Consuela. 123 00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:13,202 - You changed your name to that? - Uh-huh. 124 00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:16,580 Okay, so from now on, we have to call you Princess Consuela? 125 00:08:16,747 --> 00:08:19,917 No, I'm gonna have my friends call me Valerie. 126 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:27,382 - Hey, how did the interview go? - Ugh. Not good. 127 00:08:27,591 --> 00:08:31,637 I always feel that way after an interview I'll bet it went better than you think. 128 00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:36,683 Well, I didn't get the job at Gucci and I got fired from Ralph Lauren. 129 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:39,144 That is a bad interview. 130 00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:41,772 What are you talking about? How did this happen? 131 00:08:41,939 --> 00:08:45,901 My boss was at the same restaurant where I was having my interview... 132 00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:47,528 and he heard everything. 133 00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:51,532 Later, he calls me into his office and tells me he'll have to let me go... 134 00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,325 because I'm not a team player. 135 00:08:53,492 --> 00:08:55,494 And I said, "Wait a minute. Yes, I am." 136 00:08:55,661 --> 00:08:58,121 And then I had to sit there for 45 minutes... 137 00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:02,876 while he proved that that, in fact, was true. 138 00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:06,797 - Oh, God, I'm so sorry. - God. 139 00:09:07,339 --> 00:09:08,674 H93'- 140 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,969 What—? What's this? 141 00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:16,181 Why, it's a bottle of champagne. Why is this here? 142 00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:18,100 - Ross. - I guess it's here... 143 00:09:18,267 --> 00:09:19,851 because I got tenure! 144 00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:21,937 Congratulations. - Wow. 145 00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:25,357 This is the single greatest day of my professional career. 146 00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:27,693 - Gunther. Six glasses. - Six? 147 00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:31,405 - You want me to join you? - I thought Joey was here. Five is good. 148 00:09:34,992 --> 00:09:38,078 Wow, I'm gonna have a loogey in my coffee tomorrow. 149 00:09:38,537 --> 00:09:41,623 Ooh. Israeli champagne. 150 00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:44,001 And it's vanilla. 151 00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:47,254 I got tenure. I didn't win the lottery. 152 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,674 Hey, Rach, so, uh, how did your thing go? 153 00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:53,760 Oh, good. But I won't hear about that for a couple days. 154 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:57,097 Oh, you know what, you're gonna get it. I can feel it. 155 00:09:57,306 --> 00:09:58,932 Can you'_7 156 00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:01,393 All right, everybody, here's to Ross. 157 00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:06,064 And to years of hard work finally paying off. 158 00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:10,235 And to knowing that your career doesn't mean everything. 159 00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:14,239 But also knowing it means a lot. 160 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,909 But more importantly, to full, well-rounded lives. 161 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,870 That center around work. 162 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,039 - To Ross. To Ross. 163 00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:29,588 You know what the best part about this is? I can never be fired. 164 00:10:29,755 --> 00:10:31,131 - Oh, God. No, seriously. 165 00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,634 I have job security for life. 166 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,178 You know? I mean, I never have to worry. 167 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:39,765 Oh, look at you. Look how happy you are for me. 168 00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:45,646 No, it's not that. I got fired today. 169 00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:48,106 And I didn't get the other job. 170 00:10:50,776 --> 00:10:54,363 - Oh, my— Rach, I'm so sorry. - Oh... 171 00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:58,283 - Great, I feel like an idiot. - No, it's okay. You didn't know. 172 00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:02,037 Little heads-up would've been nice. 173 00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:13,465 Thank you for letting us see the house again. 174 00:11:13,632 --> 00:11:16,218 And thank you for explaining to us what "escrow" means. 175 00:11:16,385 --> 00:11:19,429 I've already forgotten what you said, but thank you. 176 00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:22,641 Take as long as you want. Just let me know when you're through. 177 00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:24,351 Okay, thanks. 178 00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:28,730 - Aw, so glad you decided to come. - Me, too. Yeah, this place is great. 179 00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:33,610 So happy for you guys. Although, you know, I hope you like fungus. 180 00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:36,446 - What? - Fungus. 181 00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:38,365 Yeah. Place is full of it. 182 00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:42,160 No, it's not. We had an inspection and they didn't find anything. 183 00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:45,872 Okay. Then I guess I have dry eyes and a scratchy throat for no reason. 184 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,959 Maybe it's because you hung your head out the window like a dog... 185 00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:50,836 the whole ride here. 186 00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:54,214 Maybe. 187 00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:58,760 So this is the living room, huh? It's pretty dark. 188 00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:04,474 - No, it's not. - Are you kidding? 189 00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:07,185 I think I just saw a bat in the corner. 190 00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:12,190 When your head was hanging out the window, it didn't hit a mailbox, did it? 191 00:12:13,525 --> 00:12:14,860 Maybe. 192 00:12:16,111 --> 00:12:19,448 Look, I just think you guys can do better than this house, you know? 193 00:12:19,614 --> 00:12:21,533 Or any other house for that matter. 194 00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:22,993 Oh, Joey. 195 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,787 We know you're having a hard time with this, but we— 196 00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:28,665 - We love it here. - Fine! If you love this house so much... 197 00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:32,002 you should live here. I hope you get used to that humming sound. 198 00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:37,174 - Joey, we know that's you. - No... 199 00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:38,383 it's not. 200 00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:44,723 - Hey. Hey. 201 00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:47,017 - Welcome back. - I missed you. 202 00:12:47,184 --> 00:12:48,977 - Oh, me too. - So, what's new? 203 00:12:49,186 --> 00:12:51,605 Well, I am no longer Phoebe Buffay. 204 00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:54,274 - That's great. You changed your name? Yes, I did. 205 00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:58,570 Meet Princess Consuela Bananahammock. 206 00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:02,240 - You're kidding, right? - Nope. 207 00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:04,409 - You really did that? - Yep. 208 00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:06,745 You can't do that. 209 00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,246 Why? 210 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:11,750 Why? It's fun. It's different. No one else has a name like it. 211 00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:15,045 Then I'm gonna change my name. 212 00:13:15,212 --> 00:13:17,422 Great. Okay, what are you gonna change it to? 213 00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:19,508 Crap B39- 214 00:13:21,218 --> 00:13:24,846 - Mike Crap Bag? - No. No "Mike." No, just "Crap Bag." 215 00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:28,016 First name: Crap. Last name: Bag. 216 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:31,102 - You're not serious, right? - Yeah, I'm serious. 217 00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:33,939 It's fun, it's different, and no one else has a name like that. 218 00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:38,360 Uh-huh. Well, then great. lfyouloveiLlloveiL 219 00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:41,613 I do love it. And I love your name. I love Princess Consuela. 220 00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:44,032 And I love Crap. 221 00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:51,164 Oh. 222 00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:56,253 - Who are you? - Oh, hi. I'm Joey. 223 00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:59,297 My stupid friends are buying this house. Who are you? 224 00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:03,343 I'm Mackenzie. My stupid parents are selling this house. 225 00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:07,305 I hate my parents. 226 00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:09,808 I hate my friends. 227 00:14:12,561 --> 00:14:15,981 Look, there's gotta be a way that we can stop this from happening. 228 00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:17,732 Like what? 229 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:23,697 Oh! Okay, you come with me and you tell them that the house is haunted. 230 00:14:23,864 --> 00:14:26,032 What are you, 8? 231 00:14:28,118 --> 00:14:34,165 - Okay. Let's hear your great idea. - I don't have any great ideas. I am 8. 232 00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:39,296 Ah, there's gotta be a way. I mean, you know... 233 00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:42,799 if Monica and Chandler move out here, and Phoebe's married to Mike... 234 00:14:42,966 --> 00:14:46,678 that just leaves me and Ross and Rach. You know what I mean? 235 00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:48,763 I really don't. 236 00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:53,226 What am I gonna do? I feel like I'm losing my friends. 237 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:56,688 - My parents say I'll make new friends. - Yeah, sure, easy for you. 238 00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:59,858 You're young. Me? I'm set in my ways. 239 00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:05,363 This is what my mom was talking about. Whiners are wieners. 240 00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:11,703 Look, you want your friends to be happy, right? 241 00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:15,498 Yeah. Yeah, I guess. Yeah. 242 00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:19,920 Well, if moving here is gonna make them happy, don't you want them to do it'? 243 00:15:20,462 --> 00:15:23,131 Yeah. Maybe. 244 00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:26,468 Then you've gotta let them go. 245 00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:33,850 Oh, I hate to admit it, but you're— 246 00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:36,394 You're probably right. 247 00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:38,730 How'd you get to be so smart? 248 00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:41,107 I read a lot. 249 00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:45,111 Just when I thought we could be friends. 250 00:15:49,032 --> 00:15:52,118 Oh, hey, Rach. I just heard. I'm so sorry. 251 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,162 Oh, thank you... 252 00:15:54,913 --> 00:15:57,207 You still don't know my name, do you? 253 00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,085 Well, now I don't have to. 254 00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:07,509 Ross, what is taking you so long? 255 00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:19,562 I'm sorry. It's almost as if this wasn't built for a quick getaway. 256 00:16:22,232 --> 00:16:23,900 Rachel? 257 00:16:24,359 --> 00:16:27,112 Mark? Oh, my God. 258 00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:30,865 How have you been? - Fantastic. You remember Ross. 259 00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:33,201 - Sure. Sure. Oh. 260 00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:34,786 What's with the chair? 261 00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:41,042 Uh... You know, you can't always get a seat on the subway, so... 262 00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:44,087 Clever. 263 00:16:44,254 --> 00:16:45,422 So how are you? 264 00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:48,216 Oh. You're not catching me on my best day. 265 00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:51,428 Yeah, a box full of your desk stuff doesn't say "big promotion." 266 00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:55,265 No, but it's good. You know, I'm gonna take some time off... 267 00:16:55,432 --> 00:16:57,434 - ... and do charity work. - Are you sure? 268 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,436 We may have something at Louis Vuitton. 269 00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:02,105 Screw charity work. What do you got? 270 00:17:02,272 --> 00:17:04,149 Why don't we have dinner and talk? 271 00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:07,110 - Great. I'll call you. - Okay. 272 00:17:07,277 --> 00:17:09,988 - Nice to see you again. - Yeah. Yeah. I got tenure. 273 00:17:16,828 --> 00:17:17,871 Oh, my God. 274 00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:20,331 See? I told you something good would come along. 275 00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:23,460 And he seemed really nice. I've met him before? 276 00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:25,628 Ross, that's Mark. 277 00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:29,716 From Bloomingdale's? You were insanely jealous of him. 278 00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:31,760 - That is Mark? - Yes. 279 00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:33,344 - I hate that guy. - Oh... 280 00:17:34,471 --> 00:17:37,182 No, no, no. You cannot go to dinner with him. 281 00:17:37,348 --> 00:17:41,019 - What? You don't want me to get a job? - Yeah, I'm sure he'll give you a job. 282 00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:43,146 Maybe make you his "sex-cretary." 283 00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:46,524 I'm serious. I just don't trust that guy, okay? 284 00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:50,070 You know what—? Okay, let's talk about it later. There comes security. 285 00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:03,541 Oh, I love this street. 286 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:08,546 The trees and the big front yards and the actual picket fences. 287 00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:11,382 Man, those two dogs are going at it. 288 00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:15,011 H93'- 289 00:18:15,178 --> 00:18:18,515 - Hey. Where you been? - Oh, just, uh, you know, looking around. 290 00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:20,183 But you know what? 291 00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:22,602 This house is great. 292 00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:24,562 Really? What changed your mind? 293 00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:28,483 The little girl who lives here made me feel better about the whole thing. 294 00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:33,321 Joey? There was a little girl who lived here, but she died, like, 30 years ago. 295 00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:40,036 What? 296 00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:43,373 I'm just messing with you. 297 00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:48,044 That's not funny. You know I'm afraid of little-girl ghosts. 298 00:18:48,419 --> 00:18:51,756 Joey, now that you're okay with the house, do you want to go see your room? 299 00:18:52,549 --> 00:18:53,842 What? 300 00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:55,260 I get my own room? 301 00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:59,430 You don't think we'd buy a house and not have a Joey room, do you? 302 00:19:00,223 --> 00:19:02,100 Oh, my God. 303 00:19:05,228 --> 00:19:08,523 Hey, can I have an aquarium? And a sex swing? 304 00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:13,903 No. - Why not? I'll keep the tank clean. 305 00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:18,825 After you, Ms. Bananahammock. 306 00:19:18,992 --> 00:19:20,451 Thank you, Mr. Bag. 307 00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:22,787 Oh, hey! 308 00:19:22,954 --> 00:19:24,539 Oh, hi, Rita. - How are you? 309 00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:26,749 Good. Oh, Rita's a massage client. 310 00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:28,459 Yeah. 311 00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:30,420 Why don't you introduce me? 312 00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:35,633 - Rita, this is my husband. - Oh. 313 00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:38,219 Why don't you tell her my name? 314 00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:43,725 Okay, I will. This is, uh— This is my husband, Crap Bag. 315 00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:46,936 Crap Bag? 316 00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:51,858 If you need an easy way to remember it, just think of a bag of crap. 317 00:19:53,902 --> 00:19:57,488 - Okay. Excuse me. - Yeah. 318 00:19:58,573 --> 00:20:03,661 Ugh. Okay, fine, you made your point. Can you please just be Mike Hannigan again? 319 00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,413 Only if you'll be Phoebe Buffay. 320 00:20:07,081 --> 00:20:09,959 How about, um—? How about Buffay-Hannigan? 321 00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:11,961 - Really? - Yeah. 322 00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:15,131 I'm Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan-Bananahammock. 323 00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:19,344 Do you even know what a banana hammock is? 324 00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:21,346 It's a funny word. 325 00:20:21,512 --> 00:20:23,264 It's a Speedo. 326 00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:29,020 Oh, crap. 327 00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:35,485 - Hey, is Rachel here? Nope. 328 00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:37,362 She's still at dinner? 329 00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:39,948 - I guess. Why, who's she with? - That guy, Mark... 330 00:20:40,114 --> 00:20:43,201 from Bloomingdale's. She thinks he's just being nice to her. 331 00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:45,495 But I know he really wants to sleep with her. 332 00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:48,498 It's seven years ago. 333 00:20:49,499 --> 00:20:52,043 My time machine works. 334 00:20:53,461 --> 00:20:57,131 We ran into him on the street today, and he said he might have a job for her. 335 00:20:57,298 --> 00:20:59,968 But I know he just wants to get into her pants. 336 00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:05,056 So, what if he wants to sleep with her? I mean, she's single, and he's cute. 337 00:21:05,223 --> 00:21:06,808 Excuse me? 338 00:21:07,058 --> 00:21:08,518 Oh, please. 339 00:21:08,685 --> 00:21:11,187 Yesterday, on the subway, you couldn't stop staring... 340 00:21:11,354 --> 00:21:13,231 at that woman with the big breasts. 341 00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:16,025 For your information, I was staring at her baby. 342 00:21:16,192 --> 00:21:18,236 We're about to be parents. 343 00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:21,030 Oh, sorry. 344 00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:34,043 - Hi, you guys. - Hi. So... 345 00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:37,755 - ... how was dinner? - Oh, it was great. Mark is so sweet. 346 00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:41,718 Oh, yeah? Yeah, I wonder why? What could that smarmy letch possibly want? 347 00:21:41,884 --> 00:21:47,265 Oh, Ross. Come on. He is happily married. His wife just had twins. 348 00:21:47,890 --> 00:21:49,559 Should we send something? 349 00:21:50,893 --> 00:21:52,645 How did the job stuff go? 350 00:21:53,771 --> 00:21:55,189 He offered me one. 351 00:21:56,566 --> 00:21:58,568 - That's great. - Congratulations. 352 00:21:58,735 --> 00:22:00,611 I know, it's amazing. 353 00:22:01,487 --> 00:22:04,741 It's amazing. It's so much better than what I had at Ralph Lauren. 354 00:22:04,907 --> 00:22:07,368 - The money is great. - Can we—? 355 00:22:07,535 --> 00:22:12,040 Can we just stop for a second? Who said something better would come along? Huh? 356 00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:15,543 You didn't believe me. I told you everything was gonna work out. 357 00:22:15,752 --> 00:22:18,880 You know what? This calls for a bottle of Israel's finest. 358 00:22:22,925 --> 00:22:25,553 The job is in Paris. 359 00:22:38,274 --> 00:22:41,194 I mean, this soap opera is a great gig... 360 00:22:41,361 --> 00:22:43,196 but am I missing opportunities? 361 00:22:43,363 --> 00:22:46,282 You know, I've always thought of myself as a serious actor. 362 00:22:46,449 --> 00:22:48,951 Should I be trying to do more independent movies? 363 00:22:49,410 --> 00:22:51,412 I don't know. 364 00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:55,291 But you know what? I'm gonna put you on with my bear. 365 00:22:55,458 --> 00:22:57,210 Hold on. 366 00:22:58,503 --> 00:23:01,047 Hey, Bailey, I need some career advice.