- Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com -
Ladies and gents, Supes and civvies,
rip up the history books,
'cause in New York this morning,
Godolkin University all-star A-Train
was just drafted into La Siete.
Which of course makes the speedster
the first African American on the world's premier super team.
And so we're thrilled to welcome A-Train to The Seven,
which proves what we have been saying for a long time:
We live in a post-racism world.
Oh, my gosh. All praise be to God first.
Yeah, I just... I-I just want to remain humble...
First Black man in The Seven.
Hey, girls! Come look at this.
- No, thanks, Daddy. - No, thanks, Daddy.
This is history.
Don't smile.
- I'm not. - You have to do it like Kendall.
He goes clubbing with Jake Paul and Scott Disick.
I will take whatever I can get.
Use the 1977 filter.
No, I'm using Lord Kelvin. That's the good one.
A-Train's the most driven kid I've taught since Queen Maeve.
Stop!
- That's the best one! - Delete it, Marie!
Delete it.
What's the matter?
Um... I'll be r...
- I'll be right back. - Marie. You okay?
Yeah, it's just a stomachache.
You eat something?
- It was probably your tilapia. - Mm-mm.
You...
cram it.
And you, let me get you some Pepto.
Mm-mm. Really, it's fine.
I'll always protect you.
Your little hero will...
Baby girl?
- You need help? - Don't come in!
I'm fine.
Marie!
Marie! Are you...
Mom?
Marie.
- Mom? - Baby girl.
Jackie?
Jesus, what happened?
Marie, what happened?
Marie, what the hell happened?
Ever since Starlight left The Seven,
I've just been inspired to speak my own truth.
I mean, we all have boundaries, right?
Let me go!
Hey!
Guess you should've made your wife come,
snowflake cuck.
I should just get up and leave.
But you like watching Homebanger fuck me.
Move, perv.
Oh, my God!
Sorry.
Wow. Guess I'm just surprised.
But I can go, right? I mean, it's a full ride.
- And I'm 18. - Congratulations.
Wouldn't be surprised if you ended up
protecting a city one day.
I think you meant to say "first Black woman in The Seven".
Well, I stand corrected.
Look, Marie, um...
Most kids around here with a history like yours,
they don't get adopted.
So they get sent to the Vought Adult Facility in Elmira.
Yeah.
- I know. - I don't think you do.
That place, it-it's not like here.
You would be locked up.
Worse.
But a-a God U graduate?
Um, you could...
wipe all that clean and start fresh.
So don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
I'm never coming back.
I'm super focused.
I'm super inclusive.
I'm super curious.
I'm super abled.
What kind of super are you?
I'm Dean Indira Shetty.
Welcome to Godolkin University.
We've trained the best and brightest young heroes
since 1965.
But more than that, we're a family.
A community of supportive faculty and peers
who will accept you as the unique,
culturally rich change agent that you are.
You'll begin with challenging but meaningful core curriculum
such as Hero Ethics
and Understanding Branding.
After that, you'll declare your major.
Perhaps you'll join the Crimson Countess School
for the Performing Arts.
Alumni include stars
from such shows as Riverdale, Pretty Little Liars
and So You Think You've Got Super Talent?
Or maybe you'll be accepted
into the Lamplighter School of Crimefighting,
which has produced every top ten-ranked student
for the past 30 years, who have all gone on
to protect America's greatest cities.
Maybe you'll make the top ten, too.
So whether you want to walk the mean streets
or the red carpet,
Godolkin is a safe space for you to thrive.
We're super excited to meet you.
Yo!
I'm Maverick, your R.A.
Mandatory consent seminar, common room at 3:00.
Are you pitching a consent seminar with your dick out?
Yes, my dick is out. Common room at 3:00.
begins today for the trial of Homelander.
She's dead. They need to take that...
Autographed Maeve merch is insa...
Day one at God U.
So I figured
it's time to test my shit
against the toughest motherfucker here.
That's my gerbil, David Caruso.
And it's about to go down!
Welcome to fight night here on Fun Sized with Little Cricket!
Oh, shit. Hang on.
Hey! You must be Marie!
No, down here.
Hi! I'm Emma.
H... Hi.
Here I am.
Hi!
I have been dying to meet you.
Oh, God, you're so pretty.
- Thanks. - You want a White Claw?
It's 9:00 in the morning.
It's 10:01 somewhere.
Are you cool with David Caruso?
- He won't shit in your shit. - I've never had a pet.
Oh, really?
Who's David Caruso?
You didn't see Jade?
Are you fucking kidding?
Oh. Wow.
So what were you doing?
Uh, my YouTube show.
Fun Sized with Little Cricket?
You haven't seen it?
Oh. Well, I'm kind of like PewDiePie
without the Nazi stuff.
Wait, you don't know him either?
We only had one computer growing up,
and it was donut-glazed from all the 14-year-old boys,
so...
- Boy. - Oh.
I mean, my brother. Chris.
My parents had to wear
hazmat suits just to go in his room.
Well, can't be worse
than my brother.
Or sister.
Or parents.
- Hey, how do you open this? - Oh, they don't open.
Or break.
I guess kids were jumping out and flying off.
Come on. Let's go.
So what are we doing here exactly?
Dude, his workouts are practically the social event
of the season.
Whose?
His.
What's up, Golden Boy?
Holy fucking shit.
You know, when Golden Boy flames on, his clothes burn off.
And he's uncut.
'Cause I guess, like, he's impossible to cut.
I'd burn my tongue on that.
Hey.
Did you get any sleep last night?
Same fucking nightmare.
- The one with all the trees? - Yeah.
I don't know what the fuck it means.
Yeah, I don't know.
I guess I'm just gonna have to fuck you rotten
- till it stops. - Oh, did I say I want it to stop?
All right!
Tongue in your head.
Head in the game.
Yes, you.
Thank you.
And thank you.
Uh, dude, I am not sweating The Incredible Steve.
Or anyone that has "the" in their name.
I hope not. I got ten grand on you.
All right, well, we split it fifty-fifty, huh?
Or else I throw the match.
Fuck you. Asshole.
- Kick his ass. - Lovable asshole.
Luke... !
Golden Boy! Golden Boy! Golden Boy!
Golden Boy! Golden Boy!
See what I mean? It's like a...
big, fiery sea cucumber.
I'm gonna be down there one day.
Jerking off his flaming shar-pei?
Ranked in the top ten.
Number one in the top ten.
Jesus Christ, wh-who wants that kind of pressure?
I do.
Yeah.
Or you can be like that guy.
Hey. Look at me.
You did good, all right? Next time.
- Thanks, man. - Yeah.
Wait, fuck me.
Class schedules are out.
- They are? - Mm-hmm.
Can I borrow your phone?
I don't have one yet.
A phone?
Wait, are you Amish?
Is Black Amish a thing?
Jordan, right?
Jordan Li?
First of all,
you're awesome.
I mean, wow.
Ranked number two.
Yeah, if you want Professor Brink's autograph,
- you got to buy his book. - Oh.
No, that's not why I'm...
Uh...
There's clearly been a mistake.
I-I signed up for Brink's
Freshmen Intro to Crimefighting,
but it's not on my schedule.
- What's your name? - Moreau.
Marie.
Marie Moreau.
Oh, yeah, I see the problem.
You were rejected.
Wh-What?
What do you mean?
I-I, like, quadruple-checked the forms.
Yeah, we just don't have space for everyone.
No, but I have to take... Intro.
Everyone who majors in crimefighting takes Intro.
Look, most freshmen show up,
they think they'll major in crimefighting,
crush their combat and forensics classes
and score a city contract, but they won't.
I mean, you're competing with kids
who have cleared homicide cases,
who have over a million followers.
And you...
you don't even have an Insta.
Now, I kind of got to get back to this.
- Can I talk to Professor Brink about this? - No.
I made the call. I'm his T.A.
Hold on. This was your decision?
Who are you to reject me?
- His T.A. - Jordan!
What the fuck?
Goddamn,
that's the fastest draw I've ever seen.
Uh, gonna need to buy me a new shirt, Professor.
Oh, hey, sorry, champ.
- So, what do we got? - Um...
Ashley Barrett asked you to speak at the Vought retreat
- in Sun Valley. - Mm, hard pass.
Good Morning America wants
to interview you about "how Brink's technique
with super kids can help with your kid".
Tell 'em to read my book.
I've read your book.
- I've read all of your books. - I've already handled this, sir.
Sir, she...
I mean, he...
they...
rejected me from your Intro class.
But they're dead wrong.
They don't know me.
That so?
It's like you always say:
"It's not about the talent.
It's about the drive".
Right?
And that's me.
I could go all the way. I just...
I just need the chance.
Performing Arts is a fine program.
You could be on Dancing with the Stars.
What's going on?
He's tweaking on meth.
He's on the north lawn.
- We need backup. - Stat.
Let's just... calm down.
I'm not going back to the fucking Woods!
I got him!
Hi.
Hey, hey, who is that guy?
Shit.
Please don't-don't leave me in here.
Please.
Please, please!
Plea... !
Godolkin is a safe space for you to thrive.
So then security just dragged the kid off?
So fucking crazy.
And you didn't film it.
Kind of had other stuff on my mind.
Yeah, but you could've got a million likes.
I wish I got attacked.
Oh, come on. They live on our floor.
Hey, performing arts won't be so bad. Just...
try and make friends like a normal human.
So, my guys at Innovative are sending me out
for this limited series on Vought Plus.
It's an elevated superhero thing.
Really a meditation on grief
told through 70 years of sitcoms.
And Zach Braff is directing.
We're friends, so... fingers crossed.
Damn. My manager only sends me out on broadcast, but...
Sorry, you're Justine, right?
- Yeah. - Okay, so I loved you
in Pretty/Deadly and Babysitter School.
Um, so I'm Emma.
That's-that's Marie.
That's so sweet.
Thank you.
And...
I've seen you in something.
I did do a small reoccurring in Chicago Fire.
Burn victim.
No. Wait.
You're Little Cricket.
Oh, my God.
You are so funny.
Holy shit. No, that's right. Um...
- Fun Sized with Little Cricket. - Right?
I'm a huge fan.
Your channel's the fucking bomb.
Thanks.
Yeah.
And where have I seen you?
Uh, right here.
Now.
I got to go.
I'll-I'll see you guys around.
Hey.
What's wrong?
No offense,
but this shit is very, very not me.
Okay, well, this shit is 90% of being a hero.
Marie, only five kids a year score a city contract.
The rest of us...
sing and dance and sell merch for Vought.
But we're superheroes.
That's really what you want?
I can't fight bad guys when I'm the size of a pickle, so yeah.
I mean, I'm also hoping for a three-way.
You remember when we first met?
Chapter nine of your book.
I had to sit on a folding chair in your folks' living room
'cause you kept burning holes in the furniture.
Shy little nothing
that could barely make eye contact.
You remember what I told you?
- You said that I'd be bigger than Homelander. - Did I?
Hafnium carbide alloy.
Won't melt no matter how hot you burn.
No more showing your balls to America.
I mean, this thing is low eight figures, easy.
No one's actually gonna pay for this.
New York already has.
They're building it as we speak.
Would you rather take Maeve's old apartment
or Starlight's?
Now, it's gonna take the lawyers a...
couple months to paper the deal,
but you, my boy, are going to The Seven.
No draft, no nothin'.
It's done.
We did it.
Huh?
Luke.
You okay?
Yeah.
I'm great.
You lost?
I got it.
Thanks.
Those were some sweet moves last night.
I was coming up with your superhero name.
You want to hear it?
Bloody Marie.
- That's terrible. - Yeah, it is.
Well, um...
that skinny kid,
did you... You seen him before?
The way they dragged him off was just fucked, right?
He was out of control.
Okay, Coagula.
- Even worse. - I'll k... I'll keep workshopping.
I'll show you what I come up with?
Tonight?
A few of us are going on a... field trip.
Off campus.
Golden Boy, myself, a few others. You should come.
Uh, me?
- Yeah. - Out with you guys?
I mean, that's how socializing works, right?
We'd be breaking curfew.
If we get caught.
We're not gonna get caught.
Thanks...
for the invite, uh, but no.
I can't afford the trouble.
Well...
Crimefighting Building at 10:00 if you change your mind.
Okay, this is me changing your fucking mind right now.
You have a chance to go party with Golden Boy
and you aren't sure?
Are you insane?
I think he has a girlfriend, right?
Yes, and she's hot!
Oh, my God! You're gonna have a three-way.
You are literally living my dream.
Then you go.
I wasn't invited.
Marie, this is a huge opportunity for you.
And, much more importantly, for me.
Because if you get in good with those guys,
- that means I will. - Emma.
You don't understand the world-ending trouble I'll be in
if I'm busted.
My dad is...
really strict.
The point is,
I can't fuck up.
I'm gonna be jerking off about this the whole night,
so if you don't go, just be prepared for that experience.
And I'm loud as fuck.
I don't...
have anything to wear.
Please borrow whatever you want from my closet.
Okay.
So...
You need to load up your legs with lube to get into these.
I'll help you get out of them tonight.
- How am I supposed to pee? - Oh, you don't.
Like, literally never.
Oh! Told you.
This is Marie.
She's the one that I was telling you guys about.
Hey. I'm Luke.
Uh, this is Cate.
I know who you are.
I know every...
Nice to meet you.
- Uh, that's Jordan. - Yeah, we've met.
You gonna reject me from this outing, too?
- I'd love to. - No, play nice
or I will not share my drugs with you.
Uh, come on. We'll take my car.
- Oh! - Uh-huh.
- Oy. - Fucking drip, baby.
Shit. One more.
You want some?
Um... no, thank you.
All right.
I can't believe I'm at Seven Tower.
Let me guess.
You were six years old in a Maeve costume,
just dreaming about making The Seven.
Now I do.
But no.
I didn't even know I had powers until I was 12.
Really?
My parents gave me V as a baby.
But it didn't hit till puberty.
Oh, they must've been excited.
Thrilled.
It's still the only thing my dad talks about.
Brags about it to all the guys at his pickup games.
I'm sorry. Uh...
I'm lying.
M-My parents died.
I don't know why I do that.
My brother passed away, too.
I'm sorry.
That's, uh, why I'm here.
At this school.
For my sister.
I want to...
prove to her that I'm not...
Can I give you some advice?
That you're not at all asking for?
Please.
Being a hero is, uh...
It's not what you think.
You know, if you're gonna do this,
make sure you do it for you.
Oh, I can't believe it.
Little Cricket.
I used to jerk off to you when I was 14.
That's... sweet.
Mm. Oh.
Hey, can we try something?
Yeah.
I don't want you to think I'm weird.
You're not weird.
Would you, uh...
get little?
Well, that wouldn't really work, 'cause, like...
anatomy.
Yeah, obviously not that.
Well, you know, it's not so easy for me to get little.
Hey, but what we're doing now is great, right?
You...
sexy and small...
hanging off my cock.
You'd be so fucking hot.
Please?
Awesome.
Wait here. I'll just take a minute.
Sorry.
I just need a...
shirt.
I'll just be a minute.
Reservation under?
We don't have one.
But you don't give a fuck. Right?
I do not give a fuck.
Follow me.
You guys in?
Is that cocaine?
We finished all the coke. It's Molly.
Hey, I don't really fuck with powders,
but I do microdose shrooms.
So, what do you say, freshman?
Um...
no, thank you.
You know, I could take my glove off and make you.
I won't, 'cause I'm all about consent.
But I could. So...
you should.
Aw. Yes!
Yes!
- Now let's dance! - What?
Come on.
I told you.
Yeah. She's cool.
Fuck.
Oh, fuck, that's so great.
Squeeze a little harder.
- Oh! - How's that?
That's great.
Now try kicking my balls.
Okay.
Is this the biggest dick you've ever seen?
I mean, yeah, relatively.
Can you say it?
Yeah, dude, it's the biggest dick I've ever seen.
Fuck.
That was...
really good.
Oh!
- There she is. - You changed.
- Why? - 'Cause I fucking felt like it.
Also, free drinks.
True. Cheers.
To The Seven.
- Fucking Seven. - Quiet down.
I just told you.
- Mm-mm. - Oh.
You got to invite me to the Tower.
'Cause I crush hard on A-Train.
A speedster in bed?
Making a mental note right now to never invite you.
Mm. It is the least surprising surprise ever,
but... congrats.
- When do you start? - Uh, you mean, when do I leave
so you can finally be ranked number one?
Please. That'd be great,
but trustees think I'm too confusing.
- No way I'll be number one. - The trustees put you
in the orientation video.
Yeah, so they could suck their own dicks
about how progressive they are.
- Mm. - Okay, well, Brink does carry
a lot of weight with them, and he loves you.
I mean, you're like his, um,
favorite son/daughter.
I think you got a shot.
It'll be Andre.
As much as that pisses me off.
Uh, that-that responsibility
and having to work with my dad?
Fuck that.
That's all you. I will cheer you on as I continue
to suck and fuck my little heart out.
But you, you worked your fucking ass off for this.
And I'm proud of you.
I love you, man.
Someone's rolling.
I think.
Yeah.
Definitely.
Luke.
Please help me.
How are you alone right now?
I mean, I can't be the first guy to hit on you tonight.
Statistically speaking, that seems impossible.
I'm waiting for my boyfriend.
Fair enough.
Uh, how about
heads, I stay,
tails, I leave?
You're a Supe.
Or I'm just a very good magician.
But "Supe" sounds sexier. Let's go with that one.
That all the bird can do?
You see Old Balls right there?
If I can get this little birdie into his cup,
will you agree to,
at best, go home with me...
and, at worst,
we hit the dance floor and have a good time?
Oh, my God. What the hell happened?
Uh, I think I hit an artery, dude!
Aw, fuck! Some fuck bumped into me!
I think she's gonna die, man. She's bleeding out.
- We need to call 911! - They won't get here in time.
We need to go. We need to get the fuck
- out of here. - We need to get the fuck out of here now.
We need to get the fuck out of here now.
Come on.
She's fucking bleeding out, bro.
Why don't you help her?
She's alive.
- Wow! - You saved her.
You saved her!
- You saved her! - Are you a Supe?
What is this? This is insane.
Last night at Skyscraper Club,
this lady fell bleeding.
This woman appears. She saved the girl's life.
Okay, sure, you're the hero, but I'm the one who made you go,
so in a very real way, I'm the hero.
Sorry for all the...
blood on your clothes.
Oh, God, worth it.
Wait, so what did Golden Boy smell like?
Like cookies, right?
Like cookies and hope?
Marie, right?
Professor Brink's office called.
He wants to see you.
You mean now?
And... just me?
I don't know.
Also, I'm not your assistant.
Get a fucking phone.
Dude! He's seen Instagram.
You're in his class for sure.
who will accept you as the unique,
culturally rich change agent that you are.
Ah, Marie Moreau.
You saved that girl's life.
Good for you.
Thank you, sir.
You know, kid, I've dedicated my life
to studying superheroes.
Three masters, countless hours of research.
I think it's safe to say that I know more about Supes
than just about any soul alive.
And they are something.
But there's one fella that's got 'em all beat.
Fred McCallister of Scarborough, U.K.
Sir?
Who's that?
Just a guy.
Some powerless schmuck.
See, his old dog Arnold jumped into the ocean,
and he started to go under.
So, Fred, he hopped into the drink
and he managed to save his old mutt,
but he drowned in the process.
And, see, that is what most superheroes,
even the big ones, they just don't get.
That being a hero, a real hero,
is not about glory.
It's about sacrifice.
You understand that?
I think so, sir.
Good.
'Cause...
And I can't tell you how sorry I am to tell you this, but...
you're being expelled.
- What? - See, Golden Boy,
Andre, Jordan, they're going all the way.
They could save thousands of people.
But not if TMZ finds out
that they almost let a woman bleed to death
because they were high.
Somebody's got to take that hit.
You get that.
Look, you saved that woman.
But, you know,
you kind of slit her throat accidentally first.
And that's grounds for removal.
Wait. Just... wait.
I-I didn't. I...
You... you can't kick me out.
Oh, I'm so sorry. I really am.
I... And I like you, for what it's worth.
No, you don't understand.
I can't go back.
They're gonna send me to this adult facility that...
Oh, you're a resourceful girl.
You'll figure something out.
Honestly,
I think you're wasting your time here at G.U.
Those blood powers of yours,
they're a nonstarter in Middle America.
There's no four-quadrant appeal there.
You're wrong.
Look, honey, you get to save your friends.
Just like that guy in the U.K.
I mean, that is more hero than most Supes ever manage.
And that's something.
What if I say no?
Well...
you're an orphan who murdered her parents, kiddo.
I'm afraid you don't got much choice.
What'd he say?
Why did you make me go out?
- I knew I shouldn't have gone. - Whoa, what happened?
I didn't ask for this. For you.
Just leave me alone.
Luke.
Luke, where are you?
Luke.
Sam?
Luke, it's not a dream.
It's real.
Luke.
Please help me.
You killed them.
Annabeth, please.
No, stay away from me.
You're a monster.
I'm not a monster.
Hey, man.
How you feel? 'Cause I'm sweating cocaine.
Hey.
Do you know?
What Brink's doing to protect you?
What are you talking about?
Oh, shit.
Marie, I...
I had to.
I-I didn't see anything.
You don't understand what Brink did, okay?
You don't know about The Woods.
What?
Okay, please, he-he fell asleep
with a Camel lit in his mouth and he burned himself.
Yeah.
For sure.
Our secret.
Why did you have to come, Marie?
Run!
- Hey, what the fuck? - Marie!
Uh, Luke, what's, uh...
What's going on? Maybe...
Maybe put your dick away?
Move.
Not until you chill out.
You're in on it, too.
Luke, what the fuck is going on?
Move!
Go! Now!
Go!
Luke.
Luke, it's gonna be okay.
Calm down.
Can we do this later? I'm still drunk from last night.
No, it's perfect. Just-just take a sip,
say, "Turbo Rush cures hangovers".
I wouldn't pour this on my dick if it cured cancer.
Marie?
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hey, stop! What?
He killed Brink!
The fuck? No, bullshit!
He fucking killed him!
Luke?
Hey, hey, take it easy.
Just-just-just take it easy.
Okay?
Hey, no, no.
Fuck everyone else. It's just me and you.
You know I love you.
- It wasn't supposed to happen like this. - Hey.
No!
- I'm sorry. - It's okay.
It's okay.
I love you.
I love you, too.
I'm so sorry.
It's okay. It's okay.
Okay?
Luke, come on.
I'm so sorry.
What?
Good evening, students and patriots.
Let me personally assure you that the terrible news
coming out of Godolkin University this evening
is in no way reflective of the institution as a whole.
Golden Boy's death was an isolated incident
involving a chronic drug user
suffering a full psychotic break.
Remember that Vought News has selected Godolkin
as the Safest Campus in America seven years running,
and the faculty prides itself
on creating a safe space for every hero to thrive.
Despite tonight's incident,
here's a look at what students can expect
from this esteemed institution in this upcoming semester.
If you're watching this, guess things got fucked.
I'm sorry.
You could be the first top-ranked freshman in history.
For what?
For fighting Golden Boy.
You guys are heroes.
Currently, we're testing "the Guardians of Godolkin".
Even when I'm saying it now,
it feels like it's too many syllables, so we'll see.
What about Jordan Li?
We lead with Andre and this Marie chick.
Figure out the rest later. Is The Woods part of what happened?
But I found something.
Don't say another fucking word about this.
Remember, no tiny action hero shit.
Got it.
Get it, got it, good.
Sweet Jesus.
I don't know why Luke did it.
We are in over our heads.
In the real world,
everybody uses everyone.
This is fucking crazy.
Totes.
It's just a matter of time
before they find out about everything you're doing.
We have to stop 'em.
I did rip a person in half.
In my defense, he was
a puppet at the time, so...
- Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com -