1 00:00:06,666 --> 00:00:09,043 In this land of ours, there are many great pits, 2 00:00:09,126 --> 00:00:11,712 but none more bottomless than the Bottomless Pit, 3 00:00:11,796 --> 00:00:13,673 which, as you can see here, is bottomless. 4 00:00:16,092 --> 00:00:17,843 Question. Is it bottomless? 5 00:00:17,927 --> 00:00:21,097 Kids, could one of you try explaining this to Soos? 6 00:00:21,180 --> 00:00:22,848 Grunkle Stan, why are we here, again? 7 00:00:22,932 --> 00:00:24,934 To dispose of things that we don't want. 8 00:00:25,017 --> 00:00:27,687 So long, Mystery Shack suggestion cards. 9 00:00:27,770 --> 00:00:30,147 Goodbye, creepy love letters from Li'I Gideon. 10 00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:32,066 Die! Die! 11 00:00:34,276 --> 00:00:35,403 What are you doing? 12 00:00:35,486 --> 00:00:37,697 Throwing stuff, dude. Everyone's doing it! 13 00:00:40,825 --> 00:00:42,118 What you got there, Mabel? 14 00:00:42,201 --> 00:00:45,079 It's just my personal box of mysterious secrets. 15 00:00:45,162 --> 00:00:47,373 Nothing worth wondering about! 16 00:00:50,334 --> 00:00:52,211 Goodbye forever! 17 00:00:53,462 --> 00:00:55,273 Grunkle Stan, do I really have to be the one to point out 18 00:00:55,297 --> 00:00:58,384 that a bottomless pit is, by definition, impossible? 19 00:00:58,467 --> 00:01:00,010 Says you! 20 00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:01,595 Well, I guess we'll never know. 21 00:01:05,141 --> 00:01:08,102 Aah! It's some sort of invisible pushing force! 22 00:01:08,185 --> 00:01:11,397 Quick! Everyone back to the shack! 23 00:01:11,731 --> 00:01:13,211 I'm not done getting rid of these yet! 24 00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:16,360 Grunkle Stan! No! 25 00:01:16,527 --> 00:01:19,321 Almost. Almost. Almost. 26 00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:19,006 So, anyone wanna scream some more? 27 00:02:19,089 --> 00:02:20,466 Where are we? 28 00:02:22,259 --> 00:02:24,929 We're somewhere where it looks like we're nowhere. 29 00:02:27,014 --> 00:02:28,575 We're gonna land on something eventually. 30 00:02:28,599 --> 00:02:29,809 Could be any second now! 31 00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:37,459 Well, it looks like we're down here for the long haul. 32 00:02:37,483 --> 00:02:39,735 Who wants to see some card tricks? 33 00:02:42,905 --> 00:02:44,949 Ta-da! 34 00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:47,368 Hey! Maybe we should pass the time by tellin' stories. 35 00:02:47,451 --> 00:02:48,451 I've got a story! 36 00:02:48,494 --> 00:02:50,120 It's called the time Grunkle Stan got us 37 00:02:50,204 --> 00:02:52,039 all thrown into a bottomless pit, 38 00:02:52,122 --> 00:02:54,250 where we spent the rest of our natural lives! 39 00:02:55,334 --> 00:02:56,919 Go on. 40 00:02:57,002 --> 00:02:59,213 Come on, Dipper, you can do better than that. 41 00:02:59,296 --> 00:03:01,382 Fine. I'll tell you a story. 42 00:03:01,674 --> 00:03:04,468 A story I'd like to call, "Voice Over." 43 00:03:06,512 --> 00:03:07,555 Ready? 44 00:03:07,638 --> 00:03:09,431 Spin the pig! 45 00:03:09,515 --> 00:03:10,641 Whoo! 46 00:03:13,519 --> 00:03:16,313 Hey, Grunkle Stan, ever kissed a pig before? 47 00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:18,315 I'm not gonna answer that question. 48 00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:21,110 Guys! Guys! I think I just got bit by a snake! 49 00:03:21,193 --> 00:03:22,820 I need you to get me to a hospital quick! 50 00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:26,949 What? What's so funny? 51 00:03:27,032 --> 00:03:29,243 Sorry, it's just hard to focus on what you're saying 52 00:03:29,326 --> 00:03:31,579 with that squeaky puberty voice you got there. 53 00:03:31,662 --> 00:03:32,662 My what? 54 00:03:32,705 --> 00:03:34,498 It's nothing to be ashamed of, Dipper. 55 00:03:34,582 --> 00:03:37,334 Your voice is hilarious. 56 00:03:37,418 --> 00:03:39,670 Are you saying my voice cracks? My voice doesn't crack. 57 00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:40,753 Dude, no offense, 58 00:03:40,796 --> 00:03:43,396 but it cracks so much we've already made a techno remix out of it. 59 00:03:48,888 --> 00:03:50,514 Do I really sound like that? 60 00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:52,391 Oh, here comes my favorite part! 61 00:03:52,474 --> 00:03:54,476 D Stop it, guys! d. 62 00:03:56,186 --> 00:03:57,688 Give me that! 63 00:03:59,523 --> 00:04:00,900 Spin the pig! 64 00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:06,614 Ugh! Even my sighs sound weird. 65 00:04:06,697 --> 00:04:08,490 - Hello there! - Ahhh! 66 00:04:08,574 --> 00:04:10,534 I couldn't help but overhear yer sitchy-ation! 67 00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:12,218 - Old Man McGucket! - Part-time inventor! 68 00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:15,205 Why did you spit on your hand? 69 00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:16,624 I don't rightly know! 70 00:04:16,707 --> 00:04:20,127 Hey, I remember you! Your robot almost killed me! 71 00:04:20,210 --> 00:04:23,839 Come here! Follow me into this dark, dangerous alley! 72 00:04:23,923 --> 00:04:27,343 Lately I been a-tinkerizin' with a voice-altering tonic, 73 00:04:27,426 --> 00:04:30,262 on account of my horrifyin' voice! 74 00:04:33,515 --> 00:04:38,103 You can run, but I'll still be in yer nightmares! 75 00:04:38,187 --> 00:04:40,606 This will really fix my voice? Thanks! 76 00:04:43,692 --> 00:04:46,070 Come mornin', you'll sound like a new man! 77 00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:47,738 If you survive. 78 00:04:55,704 --> 00:04:57,373 Good morning, Dipper. 79 00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:02,044 I did it! I did it! 80 00:05:02,127 --> 00:05:04,672 Now I have a new voice! 81 00:05:07,591 --> 00:05:11,053 Morning, Mabel. Who's my favorite Mabel? 82 00:05:11,136 --> 00:05:12,136 Ahhh! Who are you? 83 00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:14,807 What have you done with my brother? 84 00:05:14,890 --> 00:05:17,851 Dipper! I'll save you from this body-switching warlock! 85 00:05:17,935 --> 00:05:22,064 Mabel, it's me! This is my voice now. I sound awesome. 86 00:05:22,147 --> 00:05:24,566 Sound awesome. 87 00:05:24,650 --> 00:05:29,238 I knew boys' voices changed, but this is weird. Weird and bad. 88 00:05:29,321 --> 00:05:32,700 Mabel, this is the best thing that ever happened to me. 89 00:05:32,783 --> 00:05:34,827 And just think of the prank calls. 90 00:05:37,079 --> 00:05:38,580 - Hello? - Hello. 91 00:05:38,664 --> 00:05:41,542 This is the president of the United States of America. 92 00:05:41,625 --> 00:05:43,293 I'm calling to tell you… 93 00:05:45,546 --> 00:05:47,131 What? Who is this? 94 00:05:47,214 --> 00:05:48,298 Ho-ho-ho! 95 00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:50,134 Magnificent! 96 00:05:50,217 --> 00:05:51,802 Mabel no like. 97 00:05:54,471 --> 00:05:56,890 How you diddly doing, Soos? 98 00:05:56,974 --> 00:05:58,614 Kill it! Kill it with fire! Everyone flee! 99 00:06:01,937 --> 00:06:03,355 What gives, man? 100 00:06:03,439 --> 00:06:05,607 You guys all made fun of my old voice. 101 00:06:05,691 --> 00:06:07,901 I thought you'd like the new one. 102 00:06:07,985 --> 00:06:10,320 Dude, at least before you sounded like a real person. 103 00:06:10,404 --> 00:06:12,507 Now you sound like some kind of weird commercial dude. 104 00:06:12,531 --> 00:06:16,326 I'll find Stan. He'll like my new voice. You'll see! 105 00:06:16,410 --> 00:06:18,412 I'll be right back after these messages. 106 00:06:18,495 --> 00:06:20,622 Er… I mean, goodbye. 107 00:06:21,999 --> 00:06:24,418 Grunkle Stan. Grunkle Stan! 108 00:06:24,501 --> 00:06:26,003 Where are you, Grunkle Stan? 109 00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:28,547 Huh? I'd know that voice anywhere! 110 00:06:28,630 --> 00:06:30,883 You're the guy who prank-called me earlier! 111 00:06:32,676 --> 00:06:35,512 No. No, I'm not. I'm just a 12-year-old boy! 112 00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:38,515 You expect me to believe that, you crazy-voiced punk? 113 00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:39,725 Wait! No! 114 00:06:42,394 --> 00:06:44,646 There's a prank caller on the loose! Let's get him! 115 00:06:44,730 --> 00:06:46,370 - Yeah! Come on! - Come on, let's get him! 116 00:06:46,398 --> 00:06:47,983 Oh! Oh! 117 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:53,655 Whoa! 118 00:06:53,739 --> 00:06:54,948 Escape! 119 00:06:58,243 --> 00:07:00,829 McGucket! Your invention was a catastrophe! 120 00:07:00,913 --> 00:07:03,165 That's probably why I live in the dump! 121 00:07:04,833 --> 00:07:07,086 My own sister didn't recognize me. 122 00:07:07,169 --> 00:07:11,507 I scared away crowds! I even sound ridiculous when I cry. 123 00:07:12,674 --> 00:07:14,426 Well, now, here's yer problem! 124 00:07:14,510 --> 00:07:16,095 I gave you the wrong drinky-majig! 125 00:07:16,178 --> 00:07:19,223 This one's for voice-over professional. 126 00:07:19,306 --> 00:07:22,101 Ah! I'm sure I've got a better voice in here somewhere. 127 00:07:22,184 --> 00:07:23,477 Good! Hurry up. 128 00:07:24,603 --> 00:07:26,230 You got here just in time. 129 00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:27,815 Come sundown, you'd have reverted 130 00:07:27,898 --> 00:07:30,025 back to your ridiculous old voice. 131 00:07:30,109 --> 00:07:33,028 It was ridiculous, wasn't it? 132 00:07:33,112 --> 00:07:35,322 D D-d-d-Dipper Pines, that's me d. 133 00:07:35,405 --> 00:07:37,616 This remix is dedicated to my brother. 134 00:07:37,699 --> 00:07:40,035 Dipper, your voice is one of a kind. 135 00:07:40,119 --> 00:07:42,746 Dude, I never heard anything like it. Remix over! 136 00:07:44,957 --> 00:07:48,544 You ready for yer new voice? This one should be permanent! 137 00:07:55,259 --> 00:07:56,260 Ahem! 138 00:07:58,470 --> 00:07:59,680 - Hey, guys. - Dipper! 139 00:07:59,763 --> 00:08:00,889 Oh, dude, you're back! 140 00:08:02,224 --> 00:08:04,226 Yeah. I guess I realized that even 141 00:08:04,309 --> 00:08:06,228 though my voice might not be perfect, 142 00:08:06,311 --> 00:08:08,564 it's still mine and I wouldn't change it for anything. 143 00:08:08,647 --> 00:08:10,607 Not even for whatever was in this new vial. 144 00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:12,818 So what did you do with the rest of that potion? 145 00:08:12,901 --> 00:08:14,903 I dumped it in Stan's coffee. 146 00:08:14,987 --> 00:08:16,363 Any of you kids seen my girdle? 147 00:08:16,446 --> 00:08:18,031 Where my girdle at? 148 00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:22,828 What? What's so funny? I'm Grunkle Stan! 149 00:08:22,911 --> 00:08:25,205 Kids laughin'. Laughin' at their Grunkle. 150 00:08:25,998 --> 00:08:30,002 I spy, with my little eye, something that is black! 151 00:08:30,085 --> 00:08:31,128 Ooh! Ooh! 152 00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:32,337 Everything. 153 00:08:32,421 --> 00:08:33,797 Yay for Soos! 154 00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:34,923 Yay for Soos! 155 00:08:35,007 --> 00:08:37,676 Hey, guys! Who wants to pass the time by spinning? 156 00:08:37,759 --> 00:08:40,095 - Everyone, spin! - No. 157 00:08:40,179 --> 00:08:41,847 Whee! 158 00:08:42,931 --> 00:08:44,433 - Whee! - Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 159 00:08:46,101 --> 00:08:50,189 Dipper's pain is funny. But I'm starting to get bored. Soos, tell a story. 160 00:08:50,272 --> 00:08:51,356 Really? Okay. 161 00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:52,608 This story is called, 162 00:08:52,691 --> 00:08:55,152 "Soos' Really Great Pinball Story." 163 00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:56,862 Is that a good title? 164 00:08:56,945 --> 00:08:58,655 Do they have to be, like, puns or whatever? 165 00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:05,579 Go! Go! Go! 166 00:09:05,662 --> 00:09:07,915 This is it, dudes. After four long years of trying, 167 00:09:07,998 --> 00:09:09,708 I might finally get the high score 168 00:09:09,791 --> 00:09:11,231 on Stan's creepy old pinball machine. 169 00:09:11,293 --> 00:09:12,544 If I do this, 170 00:09:12,628 --> 00:09:14,546 I'll go down in pinball history 171 00:09:14,630 --> 00:09:17,674 with the likes of Sal, Gaff, and, of course, Poo. 172 00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:20,344 Have you ever tried, maybe, just tilting the machine? 173 00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:22,197 I don't know, dudes. Isn't breaking the rules, 174 00:09:22,221 --> 00:09:23,555 like, against the rules? 175 00:09:23,639 --> 00:09:25,849 Nuts to the rules! Tilt! Tilt! Tilt! 176 00:09:27,643 --> 00:09:29,853 Failure. You stink! 177 00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:31,688 All right, that's it. Ready, kids? 178 00:09:34,024 --> 00:09:35,192 Tilt! Tilt! Tilt! Tilt! 179 00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:36,836 Quit tiltin', pardner. Quit tiltin', pardner. 180 00:09:36,860 --> 00:09:38,654 Tilt! 181 00:09:38,737 --> 00:09:40,322 Bull's-eye! 182 00:09:42,324 --> 00:09:44,368 New high score. 183 00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:45,786 - Yeah. - Yes! All right! 184 00:09:45,869 --> 00:09:48,080 This is the best moment of my life. 185 00:09:48,163 --> 00:09:49,790 This totally beats my old best moment. 186 00:09:54,836 --> 00:09:56,088 Ah… 187 00:09:56,171 --> 00:09:59,841 That ain't right. You cheated. 188 00:09:59,925 --> 00:10:01,885 Oh, yeah? What are you gonna do about it? 189 00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:05,430 You're just a pinball game, pinball game. Taunt, taunt. 190 00:10:05,514 --> 00:10:07,075 Uh, guys? There's an awful lot of green lightning 191 00:10:07,099 --> 00:10:08,684 coming out of that game. 192 00:10:08,767 --> 00:10:10,647 No, that's the normal amount of green lightning. 193 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:19,903 Five more minutes. 194 00:10:22,489 --> 00:10:24,533 Aah! That's not a normal alarm clock. 195 00:10:24,616 --> 00:10:26,493 Soos! We're inside the game! 196 00:10:27,661 --> 00:10:29,413 - Crazy. - Sweet Moses! 197 00:10:29,496 --> 00:10:32,124 Hushed exclamation of wonder. 198 00:10:35,252 --> 00:10:36,420 Awesome! 199 00:10:37,421 --> 00:10:38,505 Boing! Boing! Boing! 200 00:10:40,424 --> 00:10:43,302 Dude, if this is a dream, I never wanna wake up! 201 00:10:44,428 --> 00:10:45,679 That can be arranged. 202 00:10:47,723 --> 00:10:50,392 Welcome to Tumbleweed Terror, pardners! 203 00:10:53,228 --> 00:10:54,604 Hey, it's the skeleton cowboy guy. 204 00:10:54,688 --> 00:10:56,231 Did you zap me into your game 205 00:10:56,315 --> 00:10:57,709 to congratulate me on getting the high score? 206 00:10:57,733 --> 00:10:59,151 I beat Poo, dude. 207 00:10:59,234 --> 00:11:02,404 Hardly. If'n I do recall, I warned y'all not to cheat. 208 00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:03,905 I tried to be gentleman-like. 209 00:11:03,989 --> 00:11:05,907 But I'm plum sick of being tilted. 210 00:11:07,326 --> 00:11:10,162 So now I reckon I'm gonna tilt you. 211 00:11:10,245 --> 00:11:13,081 Oh, yeah? Well, take this! Ow! 212 00:11:13,165 --> 00:11:15,167 And this! Ow! It hurts! 213 00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:17,753 I wish this was working better! Oh, dude! 214 00:11:17,836 --> 00:11:20,172 Soos! 215 00:11:20,255 --> 00:11:22,007 Get yourselves ready for the… 216 00:11:23,508 --> 00:11:25,427 Multi-ball! 217 00:11:29,973 --> 00:11:30,974 Over there! 218 00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:34,102 Where are you? 219 00:11:34,186 --> 00:11:36,480 I'm not done teachin' you a lesson about cheating yet! 220 00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:37,957 How are we ever gonna get out of here? 221 00:11:37,981 --> 00:11:39,858 Think, guys! I'm trying. 222 00:11:39,941 --> 00:11:42,381 But it's hard with that gorgeous pinball wench distracting me. 223 00:11:46,323 --> 00:11:47,491 Okay, don't worry, guys. 224 00:11:47,574 --> 00:11:49,034 I know every inch of this machine. 225 00:11:49,117 --> 00:11:50,952 There's a manual power switch inside. 226 00:11:51,036 --> 00:11:53,163 I can sneak in there and turn off the game. 227 00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:55,832 But we'll have to distract the cowboy guy. 228 00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:57,518 Are either of you good at jumping up and down 229 00:11:57,542 --> 00:11:59,044 and making annoying noises? 230 00:12:00,379 --> 00:12:02,464 My time has come. 231 00:12:03,965 --> 00:12:06,635 All right, let's go, Soos. Soos? 232 00:12:06,718 --> 00:12:09,346 So are you, like, doing anything later or… 233 00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:10,764 Right. 234 00:12:10,847 --> 00:12:12,682 Come on out and show yourselves, varmints! 235 00:12:13,016 --> 00:12:15,102 Hey! Hey! Hey! 236 00:12:15,185 --> 00:12:17,479 Listen to me and look at what I'm doing! 237 00:12:21,858 --> 00:12:22,938 Somethin' ain't right here. 238 00:12:23,193 --> 00:12:24,193 Distraction! Distraction! 239 00:12:25,237 --> 00:12:26,255 Let me see where this is goin'. 240 00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:27,906 La, la, la, la… 241 00:12:41,545 --> 00:12:43,463 Yippee-ti-yi. 242 00:12:43,547 --> 00:12:45,841 What? Where are ya? 243 00:12:47,509 --> 00:12:48,885 Darn it, I wish I had a neck! 244 00:12:54,015 --> 00:12:57,936 Soos! Psst! What's going on? Just press the switch already! 245 00:12:58,019 --> 00:13:01,106 Okay, so I was gonna do that, but I've been thinking. 246 00:13:01,189 --> 00:13:02,583 According to this, turning off the power 247 00:13:02,607 --> 00:13:04,526 erases the high score permanently. 248 00:13:04,609 --> 00:13:06,820 That score is, like, my one big life accomplishment. 249 00:13:06,903 --> 00:13:09,406 What? If you don't hurry up, we could die in here! 250 00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:11,950 Fair point. But, what is life anyway, 251 00:13:12,033 --> 00:13:14,411 when compared to the immortality of a high score? 252 00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:15,996 Soos! Are you out of your… 253 00:13:16,079 --> 00:13:17,080 There y'all are. 254 00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:21,168 Get ready to meet yer maker, kids! 255 00:13:21,251 --> 00:13:24,254 My maker is Ballway Games in Redmond, Washington. 256 00:13:30,385 --> 00:13:31,428 Mabel! 257 00:13:34,973 --> 00:13:36,057 Soos! 258 00:13:36,141 --> 00:13:37,601 Soos, please! 259 00:13:37,684 --> 00:13:39,019 Turn it off! 260 00:13:39,436 --> 00:13:40,520 Uh… 261 00:13:41,980 --> 00:13:43,982 Goodbye, high score! 262 00:13:59,289 --> 00:14:00,457 Oh, you dudes okay? 263 00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:03,376 Yeah, Soos. You did it! You freed us! 264 00:14:03,460 --> 00:14:05,837 Hey, man, I'm sorry you had to lose your high score. 265 00:14:05,921 --> 00:14:08,089 That's okay. I got a new life accomplishment now. 266 00:14:08,256 --> 00:14:09,466 Saving you dudes. 267 00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:10,549 Aw! 268 00:14:11,968 --> 00:14:13,608 You think that pinball wench will call me? 269 00:14:16,139 --> 00:14:17,891 I can't believe this nonsense! 270 00:14:17,974 --> 00:14:20,393 Magic tonics? Soos winning at something? 271 00:14:20,477 --> 00:14:24,022 Where do you come up with this stuff? I'll tell you a good story. 272 00:14:24,105 --> 00:14:27,025 It's called "Grunkle Stan Wins The Football Bowl." 273 00:14:33,031 --> 00:14:34,574 Mr. Pines. 274 00:14:34,950 --> 00:14:36,576 I thought old folks were useless, 275 00:14:36,660 --> 00:14:40,038 but you taught me and my gloating friends a lesson. 276 00:14:41,039 --> 00:14:44,084 Here's your football winning trophy, Mr. Pines! 277 00:14:44,167 --> 00:14:45,544 Thanks, beautiful woman, 278 00:14:45,627 --> 00:14:49,297 but I couldn't have done it without my sidekick, foot-bot. 279 00:14:49,381 --> 00:14:52,175 Thank you for building me, Daddy. 280 00:14:54,844 --> 00:14:56,221 I love you, Stan. 281 00:14:56,304 --> 00:14:57,347 I'm incredulous. 282 00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:59,283 - Come on! Ridiculous! - Come on, that was really dumb! 283 00:14:59,307 --> 00:15:01,226 What? That story was great. 284 00:15:01,309 --> 00:15:03,395 I even threw in a talking robot for the kids. 285 00:15:03,478 --> 00:15:06,606 Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna tell a non-terrible story. 286 00:15:06,690 --> 00:15:09,067 A story called "Trooth Ache!" 287 00:15:12,904 --> 00:15:15,115 This attraction is gonna make me a fortune! 288 00:15:15,198 --> 00:15:18,326 Easy with that bear, corduroy! I need him in showroom condition! 289 00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:21,454 No! No! 290 00:15:21,538 --> 00:15:23,456 Aw! They're hugging! 291 00:15:23,540 --> 00:15:25,083 So let me get this straight. 292 00:15:25,166 --> 00:15:28,169 Your plan is to teach this bear to ride a bicycle? 293 00:15:28,253 --> 00:15:31,131 Nah. Come on. Everyone's seen a bicycle-riding bear. 294 00:15:31,214 --> 00:15:35,343 No, no. I'm gonna teach this bear to drive! 295 00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:39,973 And the yellow light means speed up. 296 00:15:41,182 --> 00:15:42,183 Uh-oh! 297 00:15:45,103 --> 00:15:47,230 What seems to be the problem, officers? 298 00:15:49,107 --> 00:15:52,277 Now there had better be a darn good explanation for this. 299 00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:53,903 Oh, there is. 300 00:15:53,987 --> 00:15:57,032 You see, I'm a very old man, not long for this earth, 301 00:15:57,115 --> 00:15:59,409 and the doctor's assigned me a seeing-eye bear 302 00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:02,078 to drive me to the hospital in case of emergencies. 303 00:16:02,162 --> 00:16:05,373 Is that right? Then where's your doctor's note? 304 00:16:05,457 --> 00:16:08,585 Why, it's right here, inside my jacket! 305 00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:09,668 Ah! There you go! 306 00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:16,009 Well, I can't argue with Doctor Medicine. 307 00:16:16,092 --> 00:16:17,510 To the hospital, Honeypants! 308 00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:26,227 Grunkle Stan, how could you lie to those policemen? 309 00:16:26,311 --> 00:16:28,438 Don't you know lying is always wrong? 310 00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:30,565 Mabel, when you get to be my age, 311 00:16:30,649 --> 00:16:32,335 you'll learn that sometimes you have to bend the truth 312 00:16:32,359 --> 00:16:33,401 for the greater good. 313 00:16:33,485 --> 00:16:35,445 Hey, has anyone seen my plate of spaghetti? 314 00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:41,451 No. But I bet Soos has. You know how he likes to eat. 315 00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:43,662 This is a dark day. Thanks, Grunkle Stan! 316 00:16:44,746 --> 00:16:45,914 See? Greater good. 317 00:16:45,997 --> 00:16:47,082 Ahh! 318 00:16:50,627 --> 00:16:53,505 Waddles, what am I gonna do about Grunkle Stan? 319 00:16:53,588 --> 00:16:55,298 He needs to stop lying. 320 00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:57,384 I know! But how do we stop him? 321 00:16:57,759 --> 00:17:00,720 Maybe you should check Dipper's journal. Oink, oink. 322 00:17:00,804 --> 00:17:02,055 Say "oink" one more time. 323 00:17:02,430 --> 00:17:03,416 Oink, oink. 324 00:17:03,431 --> 00:17:04,974 Waddles, you genius! 325 00:17:07,852 --> 00:17:11,022 "Buried 'neath a tree stump in the deep forest are truth teeth, 326 00:17:11,106 --> 00:17:14,275 which force upon the wearer an inability to lie." 327 00:17:34,671 --> 00:17:37,465 What's going on? What? Mabel? 328 00:17:37,549 --> 00:17:40,969 Quick question. What happened to Dipper's spaghetti plate? 329 00:17:41,052 --> 00:17:42,929 I ate it because I have little to no concern 330 00:17:43,012 --> 00:17:46,683 for other people's possessions or emotions. 331 00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:48,727 Huh. That was strangely candid. 332 00:17:48,810 --> 00:17:52,063 Almost as if I'm unable to lie. Well, goodnight! 333 00:17:56,401 --> 00:17:59,028 You what? That seems like a horrible idea! 334 00:17:59,112 --> 00:18:01,614 It's great! Now he has to tell the truth. 335 00:18:03,366 --> 00:18:05,535 Scrambled meat, here it is. 336 00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:08,329 Stan, what do you do in secret every day during your lunch break? 337 00:18:08,413 --> 00:18:10,248 Usually I spend the hour 338 00:18:10,331 --> 00:18:13,001 aggressively scratching myself in places I shouldn't mention. 339 00:18:13,084 --> 00:18:14,794 Now I'm going to avoid making eye contact 340 00:18:14,878 --> 00:18:16,629 by pretending to read this newspaper. 341 00:18:16,713 --> 00:18:18,965 And go to the bathroom without washing my hands. 342 00:18:19,048 --> 00:18:20,633 Ew! 343 00:18:20,717 --> 00:18:22,343 Well, that was disturbing. 344 00:18:22,427 --> 00:18:25,013 Don't worry, Dipper. The truth is always a good thing. 345 00:18:26,681 --> 00:18:29,350 Excuse me. Do you think this t-shirt is my size? 346 00:18:29,434 --> 00:18:31,811 Never mind the t-shirt! Hey, everybody! 347 00:18:31,895 --> 00:18:34,522 Look at this guy's abnormal and unattractive face! 348 00:18:35,732 --> 00:18:36,983 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 349 00:18:38,401 --> 00:18:39,402 Doing my taxes. 350 00:18:41,279 --> 00:18:43,156 Uh, Grunkle Stan, why did you write this? 351 00:18:43,239 --> 00:18:46,868 Because I regularly commit massive tax fraud. 352 00:18:46,951 --> 00:18:48,661 Might wanna tuck that one away there. 353 00:18:51,247 --> 00:18:52,665 Oh, no! 354 00:18:55,460 --> 00:18:57,962 Sometimes I think, "Is this all there is?" 355 00:18:58,046 --> 00:19:01,007 Is life just some kind of horrific joke without a punch line? 356 00:19:01,090 --> 00:19:02,717 That we're all just biding our time 357 00:19:02,801 --> 00:19:04,886 "until the sweet, sweet, release of death?" 358 00:19:13,770 --> 00:19:17,106 Kids! I think I have a growth forming on my back! 359 00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:19,025 Just wanted to be honest with you guys! 360 00:19:19,108 --> 00:19:20,443 I can't take it anymore, Mabel! 361 00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:22,129 You have to take those teeth out of his mouth. 362 00:19:22,153 --> 00:19:24,155 But then he'd be a liar again! 363 00:19:24,239 --> 00:19:26,449 Could it possibly be any worse than this? 364 00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:29,702 So after further investigation, 365 00:19:29,786 --> 00:19:33,581 turns out there is no Doctor Medicine in Gravity Falls. 366 00:19:33,665 --> 00:19:36,334 You better have a 'durn good explanation for this! 367 00:19:36,417 --> 00:19:39,003 Oh, and I do! You see, I lied to you. 368 00:19:39,087 --> 00:19:41,381 In addition, I've been parking in handicap spaces, 369 00:19:41,464 --> 00:19:43,132 shoplifting fireworks 370 00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:45,969 and smuggling endangered animals across multiple state lines. 371 00:19:46,052 --> 00:19:49,264 Also, you're fat. 372 00:19:49,347 --> 00:19:50,932 Is all this true? 373 00:19:51,015 --> 00:19:53,560 No! No, it's not true! Right, Mabel? 374 00:19:53,643 --> 00:19:57,897 Uh… sirs, I have to be completely and totally honest with you. 375 00:19:57,981 --> 00:20:01,109 Our Great Uncle Stan is… 376 00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:09,701 Stan is secretly a crime fiction writer! 377 00:20:09,784 --> 00:20:11,286 - What? - Yeah! 378 00:20:11,369 --> 00:20:13,162 He was just telling you about a character 379 00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:16,291 from his upcoming page-turner, Crime Grandpa! 380 00:20:16,374 --> 00:20:18,626 He's never committed a crime in his life! 381 00:20:18,710 --> 00:20:21,462 Also, have you lost weight? 382 00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:26,092 Well! Finally someone noticed. 383 00:20:26,175 --> 00:20:28,636 Wow! An author! Can you teach me how to read? 384 00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:30,305 What? Author? 385 00:20:30,388 --> 00:20:34,309 Writers! Masters of fiction. Goodnight, officers! 386 00:20:35,685 --> 00:20:36,671 Hey, you all right? 387 00:20:36,686 --> 00:20:38,438 I can't believe I lied. 388 00:20:38,521 --> 00:20:40,773 Mabel, it was for the greater good. 389 00:20:40,857 --> 00:20:43,526 Yeah. The greater good. 390 00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:45,278 Hello, police station? 391 00:20:45,361 --> 00:20:49,365 Yeah, I forgot to tell 'em about my tax fraud. No, tax fraud. 392 00:20:50,533 --> 00:20:51,659 Get 'em out! 393 00:20:51,743 --> 00:20:53,411 What's gotten into you kids? 394 00:20:53,494 --> 00:20:55,788 We have to find a place to get rid of these. 395 00:21:00,501 --> 00:21:04,172 And I never saw that box full of magical teeth again. 396 00:21:04,339 --> 00:21:05,339 Oh, wait! There it is. 397 00:21:08,051 --> 00:21:09,052 Oh, sweet! My shoes! 398 00:21:10,178 --> 00:21:11,679 I liked the part with the bear. 399 00:21:11,763 --> 00:21:13,115 The rest seemed pretty far-fetched. 400 00:21:13,139 --> 00:21:15,492 Mabel, we already know that story. We just lived through it. 401 00:21:15,516 --> 00:21:17,560 So if we're living through that story right now, 402 00:21:17,644 --> 00:21:18,645 then how does it end? 403 00:21:18,728 --> 00:21:20,355 Guys, do you see that? 404 00:21:23,524 --> 00:21:24,525 Oh, what is that? 405 00:21:24,609 --> 00:21:26,069 Oh, no! Where are we going? 406 00:21:26,152 --> 00:21:27,320 That doesn't look good. 407 00:21:34,619 --> 00:21:36,621 Where are we? 408 00:21:36,704 --> 00:21:39,207 Look! The shack! 409 00:21:39,290 --> 00:21:44,295 Which means we came right back out the top! 410 00:21:44,379 --> 00:21:46,422 And I don't think any time has passed. 411 00:21:46,506 --> 00:21:48,383 It must be some kind of worm-hole. 412 00:21:48,466 --> 00:21:50,718 Yeah, dude, that sounds sciency enough to be true. 413 00:21:50,802 --> 00:21:53,805 But that's impossible! No one will believe us! 414 00:21:53,888 --> 00:21:56,975 Maybe this is one story we should keep to ourselves. 415 00:21:57,058 --> 00:21:59,060 Agreed. 416 00:22:02,689 --> 00:22:03,690 He'll be fine. 417 00:22:31,175 --> 00:22:32,260 This is stupid.