1
00:00:03,898 --> 00:00:06,192
- Wait up.
- Yeah, you should keep up.

2
00:00:06,275 --> 00:00:07,777
I… I can keep up.

3
00:00:09,153 --> 00:00:11,948
- Whoa!
- Neat-o!

4
00:00:12,865 --> 00:00:14,825
Mysterious, boarded-up cave.

5
00:00:15,076 --> 00:00:17,411
It might be filled
with lost prehistoric life forms.

6
00:00:17,662 --> 00:00:19,372
Or Mesoamerican gold.

7
00:00:19,455 --> 00:00:20,748
Uh, ladies first.

8
00:00:26,087 --> 00:00:29,340
Ha-ha! Good thing
you've got your smarts, Poindexter.

9
00:00:29,423 --> 00:00:30,675
I've got the other thing.

10
00:00:30,758 --> 00:00:33,636
What is it called? Oh, right, punching.

11
00:00:35,304 --> 00:00:37,682
Cool. Splinters.

12
00:00:37,848 --> 00:00:40,226
Whoa! It's so creepy in here.

13
00:00:40,309 --> 00:00:43,229
Hey, don't worry, bro.
Wherever we go, we go together.

14
00:00:43,312 --> 00:00:46,065
Don't forget to leave our names
so they know who owns the place.

15
00:00:49,986 --> 00:00:52,738
Pines! Pines! Pines! Pines!

16
00:01:35,531 --> 00:01:40,077
Finally, after all these long years
of waiting, you're actually here.

17
00:01:42,121 --> 00:01:43,122
Brother!

18
00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:47,043
Oh! Ow! What the heck was that for?

19
00:01:47,209 --> 00:01:51,422
This was an insanely risky move,
restarting the portal.

20
00:01:51,505 --> 00:01:53,132
Didn't you read my warnings?

21
00:01:53,299 --> 00:01:54,550
Warnings, schmarnings.

22
00:01:54,634 --> 00:01:58,137
How's about maybe a thanks for saving you
from what appears to be, I don't know,

23
00:01:58,304 --> 00:02:00,806
some kind of a sci-fi sideburn dimension.

24
00:02:00,890 --> 00:02:03,267
Thank you? You really think
I'm gonna thank you

25
00:02:03,351 --> 00:02:05,311
after what you did 30 years ago?

26
00:02:05,478 --> 00:02:08,648
What I did? Why, you ungrateful…

27
00:02:10,691 --> 00:02:15,488
Don't expect me to go easy on you
just because you're family. Ah!

28
00:02:15,571 --> 00:02:17,323
Hey, hi. Mabel here.

29
00:02:17,490 --> 00:02:20,576
Quick question.
What the heck is going on here?

30
00:02:20,743 --> 00:02:23,704
Stan, you didn't tell me
there were children down here.

31
00:02:23,996 --> 00:02:26,707
And some sort of large, hairless gopher.

32
00:02:26,791 --> 00:02:28,459
I get that a lot.

33
00:02:28,626 --> 00:02:30,336
They're your family, Poindexter.

34
00:02:30,419 --> 00:02:31,879
Shermie's grandkids.

35
00:02:31,962 --> 00:02:35,091
I… I have a niece, and a nephew?

36
00:02:35,257 --> 00:02:37,885
Greetings! Do kids still say "greetings"?

37
00:02:37,968 --> 00:02:40,262
I haven't been in this dimension
for a really long time.

38
00:02:40,346 --> 00:02:42,556
Whoa, six-fingered handshake.

39
00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:44,600
It's a full finger friendlier than normal.

40
00:02:44,684 --> 00:02:47,186
I like this kid. She's weird.

41
00:02:47,853 --> 00:02:49,438
I… I can't believe it.

42
00:02:49,522 --> 00:02:51,691
You're the author of the journals.

43
00:02:51,857 --> 00:02:53,275
You've read my journals?

44
00:02:53,901 --> 00:02:56,946
I haven't just read them. I've lived them.

45
00:02:57,029 --> 00:02:58,906
I've been waiting for so long to meet you.

46
00:02:58,989 --> 00:03:01,189
I don't know what to say.
I have so many questions. I…

47
00:03:02,451 --> 00:03:04,120
I think I'm gonna throw up.

48
00:03:04,620 --> 00:03:06,789
No, no, false alarm.

49
00:03:07,331 --> 00:03:09,041
Just gotta ride it out.

50
00:03:09,208 --> 00:03:11,627
Listen, there'll be time
for introductions later.

51
00:03:11,711 --> 00:03:13,045
But first, tell me, Stan.

52
00:03:13,129 --> 00:03:14,672
Are there any security breaches?

53
00:03:14,755 --> 00:03:17,049
Does anyone else know about this portal?

54
00:03:17,133 --> 00:03:18,801
No. Just us.

55
00:03:18,884 --> 00:03:20,803
Also, maybe the entire US government.

56
00:03:20,970 --> 00:03:22,096
The what?

57
00:03:22,263 --> 00:03:26,600
Fan out. We're not going anywhere
till we find Stan Pines and those kids.

58
00:03:27,268 --> 00:03:29,103
Okay. It's all right.

59
00:03:29,186 --> 00:03:31,063
We've got a while
before they find this room.

60
00:03:31,147 --> 00:03:33,899
We just need to lay low
and think of a plan.

61
00:03:33,983 --> 00:03:36,610
Well, it looks like
we're stuck down here for a while.

62
00:03:36,694 --> 00:03:39,655
Who wants to tell us
their entire mysterious backstory?

63
00:03:39,822 --> 00:03:42,742
Yes, I have some questions
about all this myself, Stanley.

64
00:03:43,617 --> 00:03:44,618
Stanley?

65
00:03:44,702 --> 00:03:47,079
But your name is Stanford.

66
00:03:47,163 --> 00:03:48,706
Wait, you took my name?

67
00:03:48,789 --> 00:03:51,070
What have you been doing all these years,
you knucklehead?

68
00:03:51,125 --> 00:03:54,128
Yeah, Grunkle Stan, no more lies.
You owe us some answers.

69
00:03:54,211 --> 00:03:57,173
What's the deal with this portal?
Why did you keep this a secret?

70
00:03:57,256 --> 00:03:59,341
And what happened
between you and your brother?

71
00:03:59,425 --> 00:04:02,303
I'm hoping all this aligns
exactly with my fan-fic, Stan.

72
00:04:02,386 --> 00:04:04,597
If not, I will be very disappointed.

73
00:04:04,764 --> 00:04:07,808
Okay. Okay, okay.
I know I have a lot of explaining to do.

74
00:04:07,892 --> 00:04:10,770
It all started… a lifetime ago.

75
00:04:10,853 --> 00:04:12,688
1960-something.

76
00:04:12,772 --> 00:04:14,690
Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey.

77
00:04:15,441 --> 00:04:17,943
I lived with my ma and pa
in the Lead Paint District

78
00:04:18,027 --> 00:04:19,320
in the family pawn shop.

79
00:04:19,487 --> 00:04:20,946
Dad was a strict man.

80
00:04:21,030 --> 00:04:23,407
Tough as a cinder block,
and not easily impressed.

81
00:04:23,491 --> 00:04:24,784
I'm not impressed.

82
00:04:24,867 --> 00:04:28,496
Mom was a pathological liar,
which served her well as a phone psychic.

83
00:04:28,579 --> 00:04:30,498
That'll be 99 cents an hour.

84
00:04:30,581 --> 00:04:32,333
No, you're overpriced.

85
00:04:32,416 --> 00:04:34,251
Yeah, I predicted you were gonna hang up.

86
00:04:34,418 --> 00:04:36,462
And then, there was my nerdy
twin brother Stanford.

87
00:04:36,545 --> 00:04:38,923
As if his abnormally high IQ
wasn't enough,

88
00:04:39,089 --> 00:04:42,635
he also had a rare birth defect…
Six fingers on each hand,

89
00:04:42,843 --> 00:04:46,597
which might've explained his obsession
with sci-fi mystery weirdness.

90
00:04:46,764 --> 00:04:50,851
As for me, I had what Mom
liked to call "personality."

91
00:04:52,436 --> 00:04:55,564
But as different as we were,
we were the perfect team,

92
00:04:55,648 --> 00:04:59,026
and every day, we'd wander the beach,
looking for adventure.

93
00:05:00,402 --> 00:05:01,612
Whoa!

94
00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:06,075
A shipwrecked sailboat.

95
00:05:06,158 --> 00:05:08,285
Possibly haunted by pirate ghosts.

96
00:05:08,369 --> 00:05:10,049
This is the greatest thing I've ever seen.

97
00:05:10,079 --> 00:05:12,206
And I once saw a dead rat
floating in a bucket.

98
00:05:12,289 --> 00:05:15,251
Ew. What's wrong with you?

99
00:05:15,334 --> 00:05:17,753
Huh. You know what this thing's missing?

100
00:05:18,379 --> 00:05:19,380
Flags.

101
00:05:19,547 --> 00:05:22,550
Kings of New Jersey!
Kings of New Jersey!

102
00:05:22,633 --> 00:05:24,051
Kings of New Jersey!

103
00:05:27,263 --> 00:05:29,640
I dub thee, the Stan O' War.

104
00:05:30,140 --> 00:05:31,725
Ow! What the heck?

105
00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:33,894
Well, well, if it ain't the loser twins.

106
00:05:34,061 --> 00:05:36,480
Nice boat. You get it at the dump?

107
00:05:38,649 --> 00:05:41,277
You would know, Crampelter. Get lost!

108
00:05:41,402 --> 00:05:43,028
Listen, dorks, and listen good.

109
00:05:43,195 --> 00:05:44,822
You're a six-fingered freak,

110
00:05:44,905 --> 00:05:47,783
and you're just a dumber,
sweatier version of him.

111
00:05:47,950 --> 00:05:49,302
And you're lucky you have each other,

112
00:05:49,326 --> 00:05:51,745
because neither of you
will ever make any friends.

113
00:05:54,039 --> 00:05:55,833
Dorks and losers.

114
00:05:57,501 --> 00:06:00,170
Hey, don't let those idiots get to you.

115
00:06:00,337 --> 00:06:01,797
But I am a freak.

116
00:06:01,881 --> 00:06:03,841
I just wonder if there's
anywhere in the world

117
00:06:03,924 --> 00:06:05,926
where weirdos like me fit in.

118
00:06:06,635 --> 00:06:08,596
Hey, chin up, buddy. Look.

119
00:06:08,762 --> 00:06:12,308
One of these days, you and me
are gonna sail away from this dumb town.

120
00:06:12,474 --> 00:06:14,643
We'll hunt for treasure,
get all the girls,

121
00:06:14,727 --> 00:06:17,521
and be an unstoppable team of adventurers.

122
00:06:17,605 --> 00:06:18,939
You really mean it?

123
00:06:19,023 --> 00:06:21,317
- High six?
- High six.

124
00:06:22,818 --> 00:06:24,194
Those were the good times.

125
00:06:24,278 --> 00:06:26,918
Those bullies may have been right about us
not making many friends,

126
00:06:26,989 --> 00:06:30,492
but when push comes to shove,
you only really need one.

127
00:06:35,789 --> 00:06:38,208
Ford's brain seemed to get
more impressive every year.

128
00:06:38,375 --> 00:06:40,419
So did our pet project.

129
00:06:40,586 --> 00:06:42,963
Sure, I got in more than
my fair share of trouble,

130
00:06:43,047 --> 00:06:45,025
but when your brother's
the smartest kid in school,

131
00:06:45,049 --> 00:06:47,134
you've always got a leg up
on the competition.

132
00:06:49,637 --> 00:06:52,556
The future was looking bright
for both of us

133
00:06:53,682 --> 00:06:54,975
till one day.

134
00:06:56,393 --> 00:06:58,312
Pines twins
to the principal's office.

135
00:06:58,395 --> 00:07:00,230
Pines twins to the principal's office.

136
00:07:00,314 --> 00:07:02,399
Ah, great. What is it this time?

137
00:07:02,566 --> 00:07:04,276
Not you. Him.

138
00:07:05,694 --> 00:07:06,695
Uh.

139
00:07:11,408 --> 00:07:14,703
Now, Mr. Pines, I'd like to speak with you
very frankly, if I may.

140
00:07:14,954 --> 00:07:17,289
Very frankly is the only way I speak.

141
00:07:17,456 --> 00:07:20,125
You have two sons.
One of them is incredibly gifted.

142
00:07:20,209 --> 00:07:22,889
The other one is standing outside
this room, and his name's Stanley.

143
00:07:23,879 --> 00:07:25,047
What are you saying?

144
00:07:25,214 --> 00:07:27,591
I'm saying your son Stanford is a genius!

145
00:07:27,675 --> 00:07:31,428
All his teachers are going bananas
over his science fair experiment.

146
00:07:31,512 --> 00:07:33,472
You ever heard of West Coast Tech?

147
00:07:33,639 --> 00:07:34,890
Best college in the country.

148
00:07:34,974 --> 00:07:38,060
Their graduates turn science fiction
into science fact!

149
00:07:38,227 --> 00:07:41,855
The admissions team is visiting tomorrow
to check out Stanford's experiment.

150
00:07:41,939 --> 00:07:44,358
Your son may be
a future millionaire, Mr. Pines.

151
00:07:44,817 --> 00:07:46,068
I'm impressed.

152
00:07:47,027 --> 00:07:49,196
But what about
our little free spirit, Stanley?

153
00:07:49,363 --> 00:07:52,908
That clown? At this rate,
he'll be lucky to graduate high school.

154
00:07:52,992 --> 00:07:55,411
Look, there's a saltwater taffy store
on the dock,

155
00:07:55,494 --> 00:07:58,038
and somebody's gotta get paid
to scrape the barnacles off of it.

156
00:07:58,122 --> 00:08:01,417
Stanford's going places,
but, hey, look on the bright side.

157
00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:04,294
At least you'll have one son
here in New Jersey forever.

158
00:08:05,671 --> 00:08:08,716
Joke's on them if they think
you wanna go to some stuffy college

159
00:08:08,799 --> 00:08:10,119
on the other side of the country.

160
00:08:10,217 --> 00:08:13,637
Once we get the Stan O' War complete,
it's gonna be beaches, babes,

161
00:08:13,721 --> 00:08:15,848
and international treasure hunting for us.

162
00:08:16,348 --> 00:08:19,059
Look, Stan, I can't pass up
a chance like this.

163
00:08:19,143 --> 00:08:23,105
This school has cutting-edge programs
and multi-dimensional paradigm theory.

164
00:08:23,272 --> 00:08:25,607
Beep-boop. I am a nerd robot.

165
00:08:25,691 --> 00:08:27,568
That's you.
That's what you sound like.

166
00:08:27,735 --> 00:08:29,653
Ah, well,

167
00:08:29,737 --> 00:08:32,906
if the college board isn't impressed
with my experiment tomorrow,

168
00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:35,117
then, okay, I'll do
the treasure hunting thing.

169
00:08:35,284 --> 00:08:36,285
And if they are?

170
00:08:36,368 --> 00:08:38,245
Well, then I guess
you better come visit me

171
00:08:38,328 --> 00:08:40,247
on the other side of the country.

172
00:08:44,543 --> 00:08:47,337
Without Ford,
I was just half of a dynamic duo.

173
00:08:47,421 --> 00:08:49,381
I couldn't make it out there without him.

174
00:08:49,548 --> 00:08:53,135
And now, thanks to that dumb college,
I was gonna lose my brother forever.

175
00:08:56,388 --> 00:08:59,183
This is all your fault, you dumb machine!

176
00:09:00,434 --> 00:09:02,603
Oh, no. Oh, no, no. What did I do?

177
00:09:05,105 --> 00:09:06,356
There. All right.

178
00:09:06,982 --> 00:09:08,859
Good as new. Probably.

179
00:09:13,697 --> 00:09:15,783
All right, kid, show us what you got.

180
00:09:15,949 --> 00:09:17,910
Okay. Well, what would you say

181
00:09:17,993 --> 00:09:21,914
if I told you the future of technology
was beneath this sheet?

182
00:09:22,081 --> 00:09:23,665
I'd say we wasted a car trip.

183
00:09:23,832 --> 00:09:24,833
What?

184
00:09:26,001 --> 00:09:28,087
But it was stable yesterday.

185
00:09:28,170 --> 00:09:30,172
A fuse must've blown or something.

186
00:09:30,339 --> 00:09:34,384
Kid, a perpetual motion machine
has one job: To not stop.

187
00:09:34,551 --> 00:09:36,720
I don't think
you're West Coast Tech material.

188
00:09:36,804 --> 00:09:38,347
No, wait! Don't go!

189
00:09:38,430 --> 00:09:40,057
I worked so hard!

190
00:09:45,312 --> 00:09:47,356
One, paddle-paddle-paddle,
two, paddle-paddle.

191
00:09:47,439 --> 00:09:49,316
Man, that Jackie O. What a fox.

192
00:09:49,399 --> 00:09:51,110
Hey, what's the word, sixer?

193
00:09:51,276 --> 00:09:54,655
Can you explain what this was doing
next to my broken project?

194
00:09:55,489 --> 00:09:59,326
Okay. I might've accidentally been…
horsing around.

195
00:09:59,493 --> 00:10:01,578
This was no accident, Stan. You did this.

196
00:10:01,662 --> 00:10:04,462
You did this because you couldn't
handle me going to college on my own.

197
00:10:04,623 --> 00:10:05,999
Look, it was a mistake.

198
00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:08,752
Although, if you think about it,
maybe there's a silver lining.

199
00:10:08,836 --> 00:10:11,338
Huh? Treasure hunting?

200
00:10:12,005 --> 00:10:13,090
Are you kidding me?

201
00:10:13,173 --> 00:10:14,466
Why would I wanna do anything

202
00:10:14,550 --> 00:10:17,427
with the person who sabotaged
my entire future?

203
00:10:17,594 --> 00:10:20,556
You did what, you knucklehead?

204
00:10:20,639 --> 00:10:23,183
Stanley, what's going on in here?

205
00:10:23,267 --> 00:10:25,561
Wait, no. I can explain.
It was a mistake.

206
00:10:25,727 --> 00:10:27,271
- Ah!
- You ignoramus.

207
00:10:27,437 --> 00:10:29,898
Your brother was gonna be
our ticket out of this dump.

208
00:10:30,065 --> 00:10:33,986
All you ever do is lie and cheat,
and ride on your brother's coattails.

209
00:10:34,069 --> 00:10:37,823
Well, this time, you cost our family
potential millions.

210
00:10:37,906 --> 00:10:41,743
And until you make us a fortune,
you're not welcome in this household!

211
00:10:41,910 --> 00:10:45,038
What? Stanford, tell him he's being crazy.

212
00:10:48,834 --> 00:10:50,878
Stanford? Don't leave me hanging.

213
00:10:51,461 --> 00:10:52,629
High six?

214
00:10:54,798 --> 00:10:56,884
Fine! I can make it on my own!

215
00:10:56,967 --> 00:10:58,844
I don't need you, I don't need anyone!

216
00:10:58,927 --> 00:11:02,639
I'll make millions, and you'll rue the day
you turned your back on me!

217
00:11:03,182 --> 00:11:07,144
Thanks to one dumb mistake,
I had no brother, no home, no nothing.

218
00:11:07,269 --> 00:11:09,229
But I had a plan to fix everything.

219
00:11:12,107 --> 00:11:14,860
Oh, this story's so sad.

220
00:11:14,943 --> 00:11:17,905
I know what you two
little broken teacups need.

221
00:11:18,155 --> 00:11:19,364
To hug it out.

222
00:11:20,365 --> 00:11:21,575
Hug it out.

223
00:11:22,075 --> 00:11:24,203
Hug train's coming in the station.

224
00:11:24,786 --> 00:11:27,748
Hugapalooza 2000!

225
00:11:27,915 --> 00:11:31,418
Kid, will you knock that off?
I'm trying to tell my life story here.

226
00:11:31,501 --> 00:11:34,004
I had decided I wasn't
gonna show my face at home

227
00:11:34,087 --> 00:11:36,381
till I proved I could
make something of myself.

228
00:11:36,465 --> 00:11:39,426
Unfortunately, the treasure
hunting business was slow going.

229
00:11:39,509 --> 00:11:42,763
Apparently, gold is some kind
of rare metal.

230
00:11:43,555 --> 00:11:46,058
Luckily, I struck another kind of gold.

231
00:11:46,225 --> 00:11:47,517
In sales.

232
00:11:48,185 --> 00:11:51,313
Hi there. I'm Stan Pines
of Stan Co. Enterprises.

233
00:11:51,396 --> 00:11:54,024
Are you sick of this
always happening to you?

234
00:11:55,108 --> 00:11:57,361
Then you need the shammy of the future.

235
00:11:57,945 --> 00:12:00,113
Made with the same material
astronauts use

236
00:12:00,197 --> 00:12:02,366
to clean up cranberry stains on the moon.

237
00:12:02,449 --> 00:12:04,159
That's the Sham Total.

238
00:12:04,243 --> 00:12:05,827
It's a total sham.

239
00:12:06,536 --> 00:12:08,288
I had made my mark, all right.

240
00:12:08,455 --> 00:12:10,082
Unfortunately, so did the shammies.

241
00:12:10,165 --> 00:12:12,542
Apparently, the cheap dye
I used to color them

242
00:12:12,626 --> 00:12:14,419
only made stains worse.

243
00:12:14,586 --> 00:12:16,296
Customers weren't crazy about that.

244
00:12:17,005 --> 00:12:19,925
Luckily, they were chasing me
with Stan Co. Brand pitchforks.

245
00:12:21,343 --> 00:12:22,386
Suckers!

246
00:12:22,469 --> 00:12:24,638
I was officially banned from New Jersey.

247
00:12:24,721 --> 00:12:26,181
But with a quick name change,

248
00:12:26,265 --> 00:12:28,558
Steve Pinington was ready
to take on Pennsylvania.

249
00:12:28,725 --> 00:12:30,435
Hi. I'm Steve Pinington.

250
00:12:30,519 --> 00:12:32,729
Are you sick of bandages
that are hard to remove?

251
00:12:32,813 --> 00:12:34,481
Then what you need is the Rip Off.

252
00:12:34,564 --> 00:12:36,400
The Rip Off won't give you rashes.

253
00:12:36,483 --> 00:12:39,069
I repeat, it won't give you rashes.

254
00:12:39,903 --> 00:12:41,113
It gave you rashes.

255
00:12:44,157 --> 00:12:46,910
I traveled the whole country,
sometimes outside of it,

256
00:12:46,994 --> 00:12:48,704
always one step ahead of the law,

257
00:12:48,787 --> 00:12:51,456
looking for something
that would be my big break.

258
00:12:52,582 --> 00:12:55,919
Whoa. So that explains all the fake IDs.

259
00:12:56,003 --> 00:12:57,337
But wait, what about you?

260
00:12:57,421 --> 00:12:59,715
Did you end up
going to your dream school?

261
00:12:59,798 --> 00:13:01,049
Not exactly.

262
00:13:01,216 --> 00:13:04,594
All right, I know Backupsmore
wasn't anyone's first choice,

263
00:13:04,678 --> 00:13:09,308
but what we lack in prestige
we make up for in mostly bug-free dorms.

264
00:13:09,433 --> 00:13:11,101
I'm sure your families are proud.

265
00:13:11,268 --> 00:13:12,686
More or less.

266
00:13:14,062 --> 00:13:16,440
In a place like that,
I had to work twice as hard.

267
00:13:16,606 --> 00:13:18,233
Luckily, that's what I do best.

268
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:21,361
I went from undergrad to PhD
three years ahead of schedule,

269
00:13:21,528 --> 00:13:23,530
wrote a thesis that was nationally ranked,

270
00:13:23,697 --> 00:13:27,034
and was awarded an enormous grant
for my own scientific research.

271
00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:28,368
But what to study?

272
00:13:28,869 --> 00:13:31,538
My whole life, I'd been teased
for my six fingers.

273
00:13:31,621 --> 00:13:33,957
But that got me thinking about anomalies.

274
00:13:34,583 --> 00:13:38,837
Things that were odd, unusual,
statistically improbable.

275
00:13:39,004 --> 00:13:40,839
And according to my investigations,

276
00:13:40,922 --> 00:13:43,717
there was one place
with a higher concentration

277
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:45,969
of these things than anywhere else.

278
00:13:46,136 --> 00:13:49,181
A small lumber town
in roadkill county, Oregon:

279
00:13:49,639 --> 00:13:50,932
Gravity Falls.

280
00:13:53,393 --> 00:13:55,645
Meanwhile, your old
Uncle Stan was doing great.

281
00:13:55,729 --> 00:13:58,565
I'd come up with a sophisticated
new business strategy.

282
00:13:59,274 --> 00:14:02,861
Come on. Owl, owl…

283
00:14:02,944 --> 00:14:04,613
Football player with an omelet?

284
00:14:04,780 --> 00:14:05,781
Gah!

285
00:14:07,908 --> 00:14:10,243
I was in great shape, living on my own,

286
00:14:10,327 --> 00:14:12,996
and the best part was,
I didn't need help from nobody.

287
00:14:19,461 --> 00:14:21,296
Hello? This is Stanford Pines.

288
00:14:23,632 --> 00:14:25,384
I was heading out
on my own, as well.

289
00:14:27,135 --> 00:14:28,970
I set to work using my grant money

290
00:14:29,054 --> 00:14:31,890
to investigate the strange properties
of this town.

291
00:14:31,973 --> 00:14:33,892
But what would I find here?

292
00:14:37,896 --> 00:14:40,732
Bingo. I began to investigate at once.

293
00:14:41,566 --> 00:14:43,777
I knew I'd have to record my findings.

294
00:14:49,991 --> 00:14:51,868
I began to keep a journal.

295
00:14:54,371 --> 00:14:55,455
The journals!

296
00:14:57,249 --> 00:15:01,211
Sorry, sorry.
Got excited there about the journals.

297
00:15:01,294 --> 00:15:02,421
Keep… Keep talking.

298
00:15:02,587 --> 00:15:04,756
I began to keep a journal.

299
00:15:06,341 --> 00:15:08,218
Just going to ignore that.

300
00:15:08,385 --> 00:15:10,137
There were anomalies everywhere.

301
00:15:10,220 --> 00:15:12,848
And the more I looked, the more I saw.

302
00:15:27,696 --> 00:15:29,614
Fascinating. What did you say
your name was?

303
00:15:30,157 --> 00:15:33,243
Shmebulock… Senior.

304
00:15:33,326 --> 00:15:36,204
It was finally a place
where I felt at home,

305
00:15:36,288 --> 00:15:38,039
but something nagged at me.

306
00:15:38,165 --> 00:15:39,583
Where did it all come from?

307
00:15:39,666 --> 00:15:42,377
It seemed to me the answer must lie
outside of our world,

308
00:15:42,461 --> 00:15:45,338
a dimension of weirdness
leaking into ours.

309
00:15:45,505 --> 00:15:47,757
I realized the only way
to understand Gravity Falls

310
00:15:47,841 --> 00:15:51,636
would be to build a gateway,
a portal to the source of its weirdness.

311
00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:53,263
But I couldn't make it alone.

312
00:15:53,430 --> 00:15:56,850
I decided to call up my old college buddy,
Fiddleford McGucket,

313
00:15:57,017 --> 00:16:00,395
a young but brilliant mechanic
who was wasting his talent

314
00:16:00,479 --> 00:16:03,940
trying to make personal computers
in some garage in Palo Alto.

315
00:16:05,484 --> 00:16:07,319
Hello? Fiddleford Computermajigs.

316
00:16:07,402 --> 00:16:08,612
You say you're trying to build

317
00:16:08,695 --> 00:16:10,465
a trans-universal
poly-dimensional meta vortex?

318
00:16:10,489 --> 00:16:13,992
Well, that's mathematically feasible,
I reckon.

319
00:16:14,576 --> 00:16:17,537
Many long nights were spent
perfecting the machine.

320
00:16:18,288 --> 00:16:20,457
It would be the crowning achievement
of my studies,

321
00:16:20,624 --> 00:16:23,835
an answer to the source
of this town's anomalies.

322
00:16:23,919 --> 00:16:26,213
Get out, get out, get out!

323
00:16:28,715 --> 00:16:30,759
The time had come to test it.

324
00:16:34,012 --> 00:16:35,889
Ready? And…

325
00:16:35,972 --> 00:16:37,224
What?

326
00:16:42,604 --> 00:16:44,231
I got you, buddy.

327
00:16:48,652 --> 00:16:52,531
What is it? Is it working?
What did you see?

328
00:16:55,909 --> 00:16:56,952
Fiddleford?

329
00:16:57,035 --> 00:17:01,122
When Gravity Falls and earth becomes sky,
fear the beast with just one eye.

330
00:17:01,206 --> 00:17:04,084
Fiddleford, get a hold of yourself.
You're not making any sense.

331
00:17:04,167 --> 00:17:05,460
This machine is dangerous.

332
00:17:05,544 --> 00:17:07,504
You'll bring about
the end of the world with this.

333
00:17:07,587 --> 00:17:09,506
Destroy it before it destroys us all!

334
00:17:09,673 --> 00:17:12,175
I can't destroy this. It's my life's work.

335
00:17:12,342 --> 00:17:14,719
I fear we've unleashed
a grave danger on the world.

336
00:17:14,803 --> 00:17:17,764
One I'd just as soon forget. I quit.

337
00:17:18,265 --> 00:17:20,100
Fine! I'll do it without you!

338
00:17:20,183 --> 00:17:22,310
I don't need you, I don't need anyone!

339
00:17:25,438 --> 00:17:27,107
What? Who said that?

340
00:17:28,650 --> 00:17:31,945
I was in over my head,
and feared I was losing my sanity.

341
00:17:32,028 --> 00:17:34,948
I needed help. Someone I could trust.

342
00:17:38,034 --> 00:17:41,830
Just give me a few more days, Rico.
I'll pay your goons back, I swear.

343
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:04,185
You haven't seen your brother
in over ten years.

344
00:18:04,269 --> 00:18:06,771
It's okay. He's family. He won't bite.

345
00:18:08,148 --> 00:18:10,984
Who is it?
Have you come to steal my eyes?

346
00:18:12,736 --> 00:18:15,071
Well, I can always count on you
for a warm welcome.

347
00:18:20,035 --> 00:18:23,288
Stanley, did anyone follow you,
anyone at all?

348
00:18:23,455 --> 00:18:25,624
Eh, hello to you, too, pal. Ah!

349
00:18:27,375 --> 00:18:29,669
Ah! Hey, what is this?

350
00:18:29,836 --> 00:18:32,047
Sorry. I just had to make sure
you weren't…

351
00:18:32,714 --> 00:18:33,965
Uh, it's nothing.

352
00:18:34,549 --> 00:18:35,884
Come in, come in.

353
00:18:37,177 --> 00:18:39,054
Look, you gonna explain
what's going on here?

354
00:18:39,137 --> 00:18:41,306
You're acting like Mom
after her tenth cup of coffee.

355
00:18:41,473 --> 00:18:42,932
Listen, there isn't much time.

356
00:18:43,058 --> 00:18:46,519
I've made huge mistakes,
and I don't know who I can trust anymore.

357
00:18:46,686 --> 00:18:49,773
Hey, easy there.
Let's talk this through, okay?

358
00:18:50,357 --> 00:18:54,152
I have something to show you.
Something you won't believe.

359
00:18:54,527 --> 00:18:57,697
Look, I've been around the world, okay?
Whatever it is, I'll understand.

360
00:18:59,407 --> 00:19:01,743
There is nothing about this I understand.

361
00:19:01,826 --> 00:19:03,828
It's a trans-universal gateway,

362
00:19:03,912 --> 00:19:06,539
a punched hole through a weak spot
in our dimension.

363
00:19:06,706 --> 00:19:09,751
I created it to unlock
the mysteries of the universe.

364
00:19:09,834 --> 00:19:13,421
But it could just as easily be harnessed
for terrible destruction.

365
00:19:13,505 --> 00:19:15,507
That's why I shut it down
and hid my journals,

366
00:19:15,590 --> 00:19:17,342
which explain how to operate it.

367
00:19:17,509 --> 00:19:19,386
There's only one journal left.

368
00:19:19,469 --> 00:19:22,138
And you are the only person
I can trust to take it.

369
00:19:22,889 --> 00:19:24,599
I have something to ask of you.

370
00:19:24,683 --> 00:19:27,644
Remember our plans
to sail around the world on a boat?

371
00:19:29,020 --> 00:19:32,357
Take this book, get on a boat,
and sail as far away as you can.

372
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:33,983
To the edge of the earth.

373
00:19:34,109 --> 00:19:36,111
Bury it where no one can find it!

374
00:19:38,655 --> 00:19:39,698
That's it?

375
00:19:39,781 --> 00:19:42,242
You finally wanna see me after ten years,

376
00:19:42,325 --> 00:19:45,578
and it's to tell me to get as far away
from you as possible?

377
00:19:45,745 --> 00:19:47,956
Stanley, you don't understand
what I'm up against.

378
00:19:48,039 --> 00:19:49,207
What I've been through.

379
00:19:49,290 --> 00:19:51,376
No, no. You don't understand
what I've been through.

380
00:19:51,543 --> 00:19:53,586
I've been to prison
in three different countries.

381
00:19:53,670 --> 00:19:56,297
I once had to chew my way
out of the trunk of a car.

382
00:19:56,381 --> 00:19:57,924
You think you've got problems?

383
00:19:58,007 --> 00:20:00,093
I've got a mullet, Stanford!

384
00:20:00,260 --> 00:20:01,803
Meanwhile, where have you been?

385
00:20:01,886 --> 00:20:04,431
Living it up in your fancy house
in the woods,

386
00:20:04,597 --> 00:20:08,101
selfishly hoarding your college money
because you only care about yourself.

387
00:20:08,184 --> 00:20:10,270
I'm selfish? I'm selfish?

388
00:20:10,353 --> 00:20:14,065
Stanley, how can you say that
after costing me my dream school?

389
00:20:14,149 --> 00:20:17,360
I'm giving you a chance to do
the first worthwhile thing in your life,

390
00:20:17,444 --> 00:20:18,486
and you won't even listen!

391
00:20:18,653 --> 00:20:19,863
Well, listen to this.

392
00:20:19,946 --> 00:20:23,199
You want me to get rid of this book?
Fine, I'll get rid of it right now.

393
00:20:23,283 --> 00:20:24,826
No! You don't understand.

394
00:20:24,993 --> 00:20:27,138
You said you wanted me to have it,
so I'll do what I want with it.

395
00:20:27,162 --> 00:20:28,913
- My research!
- Ah!

396
00:20:32,834 --> 00:20:34,002
Stanley, give it back.

397
00:20:35,837 --> 00:20:38,840
You want it back, you're gonna have
to try harder than that.

398
00:20:41,050 --> 00:20:42,886
You left me behind, you jerk.

399
00:20:42,969 --> 00:20:44,554
It was supposed to be us forever.

400
00:20:44,637 --> 00:20:47,223
- You ruined my life!
- You ruined your own life!

401
00:20:50,769 --> 00:20:53,855
Stanley! Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry.
Are you… Ow!

402
00:20:58,401 --> 00:21:00,528
Some brother you turned out to be.

403
00:21:00,695 --> 00:21:03,406
You care more about your dumb mysteries
than your family.

404
00:21:03,490 --> 00:21:04,949
Well, then you can have 'em!

405
00:21:05,867 --> 00:21:07,786
Whoa, whoa, hey. What's going on?

406
00:21:07,869 --> 00:21:09,037
Hey, hey, Stanford!

407
00:21:09,204 --> 00:21:10,997
Stanley! Stanley, help me!

408
00:21:11,164 --> 00:21:13,041
- Oh, no! What do I do?
- Stanley!

409
00:21:13,208 --> 00:21:15,418
Stanley, do something!

410
00:21:15,585 --> 00:21:17,295
Stanley!

411
00:21:20,465 --> 00:21:21,466
Stanford?

412
00:21:23,676 --> 00:21:26,221
Stanford, come back! I didn't mean it!

413
00:21:28,264 --> 00:21:31,434
I just got him back.
I can't lose him again.

414
00:21:31,518 --> 00:21:33,144
Ah! Come on!

415
00:21:33,311 --> 00:21:36,064
Stanford!

416
00:21:36,564 --> 00:21:37,816
I lost him.

417
00:21:37,982 --> 00:21:41,569
I didn't know if he was dead or alive
in some distant galaxy,

418
00:21:41,653 --> 00:21:43,571
but I knew his journal
must have the answer

419
00:21:43,655 --> 00:21:45,865
to getting him back… somehow.

420
00:21:52,038 --> 00:21:54,040
I didn't get much sleep that night.

421
00:21:55,792 --> 00:21:56,876
Or the night after that.

422
00:21:58,294 --> 00:22:00,880
I tried for weeks to turn
that dumb machine back on.

423
00:22:01,881 --> 00:22:04,843
But without the other two journals,
it was hopeless.

424
00:22:05,552 --> 00:22:07,053
Finally, I ran out of food.

425
00:22:07,762 --> 00:22:09,556
I had no choice but to go into town.

426
00:22:12,350 --> 00:22:14,394
Just the bread then, there, stranger?

427
00:22:14,477 --> 00:22:16,104
That'll be 99 cents.

428
00:22:18,773 --> 00:22:20,567
Hey, that's no stranger.

429
00:22:20,733 --> 00:22:24,445
That must be the mysterious science guy
that lives in the woods.

430
00:22:25,238 --> 00:22:27,532
Uh, no, no, you got the wrong guy.

431
00:22:27,615 --> 00:22:30,827
I've heard strange stories
about that old shack.

432
00:22:30,994 --> 00:22:34,539
Yeah, mysterious lights
and spooky experiments.

433
00:22:34,706 --> 00:22:36,040
Gosh, I'd pay anything

434
00:22:36,124 --> 00:22:39,168
to see what kind of shenanigans
you get up to in there.

435
00:22:39,252 --> 00:22:42,297
Oh, me, too. Do you ever give tours?

436
00:22:42,463 --> 00:22:43,756
No, really, I…

437
00:22:47,635 --> 00:22:49,262
Yes, I do give tours.

438
00:22:49,345 --> 00:22:51,764
Ten… No, no, 15 bucks a person.

439
00:22:54,142 --> 00:22:55,560
All right!

440
00:22:56,227 --> 00:22:59,856
So what did you say your name was,
you man of mystery?

441
00:22:59,939 --> 00:23:01,816
Oh, Stan… ford.

442
00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:04,611
Stanford Pines.

443
00:23:07,238 --> 00:23:11,117
Step right up, folks, to a world
of enchantment or whatever.

444
00:23:11,284 --> 00:23:14,621
Behold the nerdy science box.

445
00:23:15,288 --> 00:23:17,957
Ah! My eye!

446
00:23:18,124 --> 00:23:20,627
Uh, I can assure you,
that is in no way permanent.

447
00:23:20,793 --> 00:23:24,130
I paid $15 for this?

448
00:23:24,672 --> 00:23:28,343
Uh, you're lucky you weren't part
of the last tour group, um…

449
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:31,721
They never made it out alive.

450
00:23:31,804 --> 00:23:32,931
Right?

451
00:23:35,683 --> 00:23:37,268
Oh, that's funny.

452
00:23:37,435 --> 00:23:38,937
So I came up with a plan.

453
00:23:39,103 --> 00:23:42,148
I couldn't leave my brother's house
until I figured out how to save him.

454
00:23:42,231 --> 00:23:44,400
But I needed to pay
his mortgage somehow.

455
00:23:49,405 --> 00:23:50,490
For once in my life,

456
00:23:50,573 --> 00:23:53,076
people were actually buying
what I was selling.

457
00:23:53,242 --> 00:23:55,203
And so, the Murder Hut was born.

458
00:23:55,286 --> 00:23:56,788
Later renamed the Mystery Shack.

459
00:23:57,413 --> 00:23:59,624
Finally, I'd found something
I was good at.

460
00:23:59,791 --> 00:24:02,210
For once, being a liar and a cheat
paid off.

461
00:24:02,877 --> 00:24:04,379
The old me was dead.

462
00:24:04,545 --> 00:24:06,798
And I faked a car crash to prove it.

463
00:24:06,881 --> 00:24:10,635
By day, I was Stanford Pines, Mr. Mystery.

464
00:24:12,637 --> 00:24:16,975
But by night, I was down in the basement,
trying to bring the real Stanford back.

465
00:24:18,309 --> 00:24:21,813
I couldn't risk anyone learning the truth
and sabotaging my mission.

466
00:24:21,896 --> 00:24:23,439
So I lied to everyone.

467
00:24:23,523 --> 00:24:25,733
The town, my family, your parents.

468
00:24:25,817 --> 00:24:26,943
Even you, kids.

469
00:24:27,360 --> 00:24:30,697
So all this time, you were just trying
to save your brother.

470
00:24:30,822 --> 00:24:33,866
Grunkle Stan, I'm so sorry
I didn't believe you.

471
00:24:34,033 --> 00:24:35,326
That's okay, kid.

472
00:24:35,410 --> 00:24:37,453
I probably wouldn't
have believed me either.

473
00:24:37,537 --> 00:24:39,455
I heard talking.
It was coming from downstairs.

474
00:24:39,622 --> 00:24:41,600
Oh, no. We're too late.
The agents are coming for us.

475
00:24:41,624 --> 00:24:42,667
What do we do?

476
00:24:42,750 --> 00:24:45,128
Aw, man, I was so spellbound
by your dramatic tale,

477
00:24:45,211 --> 00:24:47,213
I forgot all about those dudes.

478
00:24:47,380 --> 00:24:49,507
Wait, forget. That's it.

479
00:24:49,590 --> 00:24:52,427
I think I know a way
we might be able to defeat those agents.

480
00:24:53,636 --> 00:24:54,721
Of course!

481
00:24:54,804 --> 00:24:57,807
I don't know how you got a hold
of one of these, but this is perfect.

482
00:24:58,349 --> 00:25:02,020
I can just amplify the signal
to a radio headset frequency…

483
00:25:04,022 --> 00:25:06,274
There. Now everyone, plug your ears!

484
00:25:06,441 --> 00:25:07,942
Get down now!

485
00:25:08,568 --> 00:25:11,571
Sir, looks like there's a hidden door
behind the vending machines.

486
00:25:11,738 --> 00:25:14,157
Excellent. Get me Washington on line one.

487
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:17,535
I've been practicing making sounds
of excitement for this very occasion.

488
00:25:17,618 --> 00:25:19,412
Hey, do you hear that?

489
00:25:29,589 --> 00:25:31,591
What? Where am I?

490
00:25:31,674 --> 00:25:35,595
Why am I standing in some sort of goofy,
fun knick-knack house?

491
00:25:35,678 --> 00:25:37,013
Stand down, gentlemen.

492
00:25:37,096 --> 00:25:39,557
I've been sent with the latest intel
from Washington.

493
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:41,517
According to this very real report,

494
00:25:41,684 --> 00:25:43,478
the power surges in Gravity Falls

495
00:25:43,561 --> 00:25:46,731
were actually due to radiation
from an unreported meteor shower.

496
00:25:46,814 --> 00:25:49,025
A total embarrassment
for your whole department.

497
00:25:49,442 --> 00:25:51,903
Luckily, I'm here to take this mess
off your hands,

498
00:25:51,986 --> 00:25:57,200
but I'll need all of your… floppy disks,
and, uh, 8-tracks. Right?

499
00:25:57,366 --> 00:26:01,704
Uh, everything about this case
is contained on this drive.

500
00:26:02,121 --> 00:26:04,248
Well, what are you waiting for?
A kiss on the cheek?

501
00:26:04,332 --> 00:26:06,584
Get out of here
before I have your butts court-martialed!

502
00:26:06,751 --> 00:26:09,587
Uh, yes, sir. Apologies, sir.

503
00:26:09,670 --> 00:26:12,173
False alarm, everyone.

504
00:26:12,256 --> 00:26:13,341
Whoa!

505
00:26:24,018 --> 00:26:26,771
Great Uncle Stanford, that was amazing.

506
00:26:26,854 --> 00:26:28,940
Let's not go crazy. It was serviceable.

507
00:26:29,107 --> 00:26:32,193
Thank you, kids.
But please, call me Ford.

508
00:26:32,360 --> 00:26:34,570
Sure. Thanks, Great Uncle Ford.

509
00:26:34,654 --> 00:26:36,447
So, uh, would you mind if I asked you

510
00:26:36,531 --> 00:26:38,342
a couple billion questions
about Gravity Falls?

511
00:26:38,366 --> 00:26:40,159
Um, well, I, uh…

512
00:26:40,243 --> 00:26:42,328
All right, kids, it's been a long day,

513
00:26:42,411 --> 00:26:44,372
and me and my brother
have a lot to talk about.

514
00:26:44,455 --> 00:26:46,725
- So why don't you hit the hay, huh?
- But it's the author.

515
00:26:46,749 --> 00:26:48,602
I've been waiting so long
to ask questions about…

516
00:26:48,626 --> 00:26:51,003
I said, hit the hay!

517
00:26:53,923 --> 00:26:56,008
I'll just let myself out.

518
00:26:58,928 --> 00:27:00,728
Wendy, I've got
something amazing to tell you.

519
00:27:00,763 --> 00:27:02,431
Clear the next 14 hours.

520
00:27:03,850 --> 00:27:04,851
Look at us.

521
00:27:05,017 --> 00:27:07,145
When did we become old men?

522
00:27:07,228 --> 00:27:09,939
- You look like Dad.
- Ugh! Don't say that.

523
00:27:12,233 --> 00:27:15,027
Okay, Stanley, here's the deal.

524
00:27:15,111 --> 00:27:17,321
You can stay here for the summer
to watch the kids.

525
00:27:17,405 --> 00:27:20,700
I'll stay down in the basement
and try to contain any remaining damage.

526
00:27:20,867 --> 00:27:23,494
But when the summer's over,
you give me my house back,

527
00:27:23,578 --> 00:27:25,079
you give me my name back,

528
00:27:25,163 --> 00:27:27,874
and this Mystery Shack junk
is over forever.

529
00:27:27,957 --> 00:27:29,041
You got it?

530
00:27:29,417 --> 00:27:31,210
You really aren't gonna thank me,
are you?

531
00:27:33,379 --> 00:27:34,714
Fine. On one condition.

532
00:27:34,881 --> 00:27:37,592
You stay away from the kids.
I don't want them in danger.

533
00:27:37,884 --> 00:27:41,804
'Cause as far as I'm concerned,
they're the only family I have left.

534
00:27:48,186 --> 00:27:49,896
Did you hear what they said?

535
00:27:49,979 --> 00:27:53,316
I think Uncle Ford said they're gonna
buy us puppies made of ice cream.

536
00:27:53,399 --> 00:27:54,984
Might be wishful thinking, though.

537
00:27:55,067 --> 00:27:57,153
I don't know if this is good or bad.

538
00:27:57,236 --> 00:27:59,447
I wanted to meet the author, but…

539
00:27:59,530 --> 00:28:02,867
Yeah. I liked the way
things were here before.

540
00:28:02,950 --> 00:28:06,662
Just us and Stan,
and the occasional goblin monster.

541
00:28:07,288 --> 00:28:09,165
I'm sure they'll work things out.

542
00:28:09,332 --> 00:28:13,002
Dipper, you don't think we'll turn out
like Stan and Ford, do you?

543
00:28:13,169 --> 00:28:14,921
Well, what do you mean?

544
00:28:16,130 --> 00:28:20,134
I mean, they used to be best friends,
but then, they got all stupid.

545
00:28:20,218 --> 00:28:22,678
Can you promise me you won't get stupid?

546
00:28:22,845 --> 00:28:24,931
Not stupider than you, dum-dum.

547
00:28:25,264 --> 00:28:27,558
Good night, stupid.

548
00:28:27,642 --> 00:28:29,185
Good night, stupid.

549
00:28:34,273 --> 00:28:36,734
Okay, okay.
So it turns out that the second Stan,

550
00:28:36,817 --> 00:28:40,112
the Stan that we know,
was actually Stanley,

551
00:28:40,196 --> 00:28:42,323
but the first Stan was Stanford,

552
00:28:42,406 --> 00:28:45,701
but we didn't know until that Stanford
came out of the portal,

553
00:28:45,785 --> 00:28:47,453
which was built by Stanford,

554
00:28:47,536 --> 00:28:49,789
but then Stanley pretended
to be Stanford,

555
00:28:49,872 --> 00:28:53,417
he did the portal 'cause he's Stan,
but he's not Stan.

556
00:28:53,501 --> 00:28:55,586
Soos, it's 3:00 in the morning.

557
00:28:55,670 --> 00:28:57,004
Okay, okay, I understand.

558
00:28:57,088 --> 00:28:59,548
Anyway, act two, Stan started…