1
00:00:05,843 --> 00:00:07,970
I just ate a bag
of cheese boodles

2
00:00:08,054 --> 00:00:09,389
without using my hands.

3
00:00:09,472 --> 00:00:13,184
Lazy Tuesday, you are
delivering in a big way.

4
00:00:13,267 --> 00:00:15,436
Yeah, it's nice
to finally have a day

5
00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:19,065
where nothing interesting
happens whatsoever.

6
00:00:24,404 --> 00:00:25,613
Everyone get down!

7
00:00:25,696 --> 00:00:27,657
Don't let it taste human flesh.

8
00:00:29,909 --> 00:00:31,536
- What is it?
- Can we keep it?

9
00:00:31,619 --> 00:00:33,621
Kill it, kill it!

10
00:00:39,127 --> 00:00:40,628
Patience.

11
00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:44,257
Gotcha!

12
00:00:48,928 --> 00:00:50,471
Great. Now get it outta here.

13
00:00:50,555 --> 00:00:52,598
Smells like if death could barf.

14
00:00:52,682 --> 00:00:54,517
Great-uncle Ford,
need any help with that?

15
00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:57,103
I've read all about
these creatures in your journal,

16
00:00:57,186 --> 00:00:58,896
- and I think I…
- No!

17
00:00:59,188 --> 00:01:02,692
I'm sorry, Dipper.
On the dark, weird road I travel,

18
00:01:02,775 --> 00:01:05,069
I'm afraid you cannot follow.

19
00:01:06,154 --> 00:01:07,864
Well, call me for dinner.

20
00:01:11,325 --> 00:01:14,328
Maybe next time then? Or not.

21
00:01:14,412 --> 00:01:16,164
Or never.

22
00:01:16,247 --> 00:01:19,375
Oh, Dipper, don't
take it so hard.

23
00:01:19,459 --> 00:01:20,793
No, do take it hard.

24
00:01:20,877 --> 00:01:22,253
Take it hard and serious.

25
00:01:22,336 --> 00:01:24,589
My brother is
a dangerous know-it-all

26
00:01:24,672 --> 00:01:26,442
and the stuff he's messing
with is even worse.

27
00:01:26,466 --> 00:01:29,010
Do yourself a favor and stay
away from him, you hear me?

28
00:01:29,093 --> 00:01:31,053
But Grunkle Stan,
all summer long,

29
00:01:31,137 --> 00:01:33,073
I've wanted to know who
the author of the journal was.

30
00:01:33,097 --> 00:01:34,682
Now the guy lives
in our basement,

31
00:01:34,765 --> 00:01:36,476
and I can't even talk to him.

32
00:01:36,559 --> 00:01:38,561
Don't worry about
what's in the basement.

33
00:01:38,644 --> 00:01:41,147
- You belong up here with me and Mabel.
- Yeah!

34
00:01:41,230 --> 00:01:44,930
Besides, the season finale
of Duck-tective is airing this Friday.

35
00:01:45,180 --> 00:01:47,278
That's all the mystery
you need this week.

36
00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:51,157
Come on, quack with us, Dipper.
Quack, quack, quack.

37
00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:52,909
Yeah. Quack, quack, quack.

38
00:02:00,541 --> 00:02:02,793
Quack, quack, quack!

39
00:02:02,877 --> 00:02:04,879
Why isn't he quacking?

40
00:02:44,544 --> 00:02:48,172
Dear Mom and Dad, we've been
in Gravity Falls for a few months,

41
00:02:48,256 --> 00:02:49,882
and so much has happened.

42
00:02:49,966 --> 00:02:53,427
Just yesterday, gravity reversed itself,
almost destroying the universe,

43
00:02:53,511 --> 00:02:55,405
and totally wrecking
the whole town.

44
00:02:56,731 --> 00:02:57,950
Well, they say it was an earthquake,

45
00:02:57,974 --> 00:02:59,642
but you know what I think?

46
00:02:59,725 --> 00:03:01,310
I think I'm gonna
have to start serving

47
00:03:01,394 --> 00:03:03,062
pineapple right-side up cake.

48
00:03:03,145 --> 00:03:05,898
Am I right?

49
00:03:05,982 --> 00:03:07,984
Am I right?

50
00:03:08,067 --> 00:03:10,361
Let the rebuilding
of the town begin!

51
00:03:10,444 --> 00:03:13,155
Wrecking ball,
start wrecking things!

52
00:03:15,283 --> 00:03:18,536
But the coolest part of the summer
was when Grunkle Stan's twin brother

53
00:03:18,619 --> 00:03:20,454
came out of this portal thingy.

54
00:03:20,538 --> 00:03:23,124
Now we have two grunkles
for the price of one.

55
00:03:23,207 --> 00:03:28,296
And they are adorable together.
"We love each other so much!"

56
00:03:29,463 --> 00:03:32,341
Mabel, you'll never guess
what I found at the store today.

57
00:03:32,425 --> 00:03:34,260
Dogs. Dogs with hats!

58
00:03:34,343 --> 00:03:37,513
No. It's my favorite fantasy-talking,
level-counting,

59
00:03:37,597 --> 00:03:40,683
statistics and graph-paper
involving game of all time:

60
00:03:40,766 --> 00:03:43,436
Dungeons, Dungeons,
and More Dungeons!

61
00:03:43,519 --> 00:03:44,937
You wanna play it with me?

62
00:03:45,021 --> 00:03:49,358
Well, I do like unicorns,
and that hot elf looks promising.

63
00:03:49,442 --> 00:03:51,611
- How do you play?
- The rules are simple.

64
00:03:51,694 --> 00:03:53,946
First, you roll a 38-sided die

65
00:03:54,030 --> 00:03:57,241
to determine the level of each player's
statistical analysis power orb.

66
00:03:57,325 --> 00:03:59,535
These orbs relate directly
to the amount of quadrants

67
00:03:59,619 --> 00:04:02,955
that your team has dominion over,
which is inverse to the anti-quadrants

68
00:04:03,039 --> 00:04:04,457
in your quadrant satchel.

69
00:04:04,540 --> 00:04:06,167
And then we ride unicorns?

70
00:04:06,250 --> 00:04:07,877
Yes!

71
00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:09,086
And no.

72
00:04:10,421 --> 00:04:13,174
First, we make a graph.

73
00:04:13,257 --> 00:04:16,218
This is like Homework the Game.

74
00:04:16,302 --> 00:04:18,929
Come on, Mabel. I need at least
two people to play.

75
00:04:19,013 --> 00:04:21,390
Oh, wow, would you look at that?

76
00:04:21,474 --> 00:04:24,393
Two people.

77
00:04:24,477 --> 00:04:27,647
Hey, Soos, up for
a little game of D & D & More D?

78
00:04:27,730 --> 00:04:30,483
Sorry, Dipper, I don't go in for
that pen-and-paper kinda stuff.

79
00:04:30,566 --> 00:04:32,943
- I'm more of an FCLORP-er.
- A what?

80
00:04:33,027 --> 00:04:34,695
FCLORP.

81
00:04:34,779 --> 00:04:36,989
Foam & Cardboard Legitimate
Outdoor Role Playing.

82
00:04:37,073 --> 00:04:39,158
It is where a passionate
brethren of craftsmen

83
00:04:39,241 --> 00:04:41,410
bring their dreams
to magical reality.

84
00:04:41,494 --> 00:04:43,829
Let yon priestess go, Elf Mage.

85
00:04:43,913 --> 00:04:46,082
Never, Paladin Radmaster.

86
00:04:46,165 --> 00:04:48,751
Fireball! Fireball! Fireball!

87
00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:51,253
I'm a fortress!

88
00:04:51,337 --> 00:04:53,464
Well, thanks anyways, Soos.

89
00:04:53,547 --> 00:04:56,384
Say, is this that game
that's mostly math and writing

90
00:04:56,467 --> 00:04:58,636
and isn't anything like
the picture on the box?

91
00:04:58,719 --> 00:05:01,430
Yes, it is! You wanna
play with me, Grunkle Stan?

92
00:05:01,514 --> 00:05:05,476
Ha! Look, kid, I prefer
to do my dice rolling in Vegas.

93
00:05:05,559 --> 00:05:07,561
Besides, only a game
designed by nerds

94
00:05:07,645 --> 00:05:10,314
would have "Charisma"
as a fantasy power.

95
00:05:10,398 --> 00:05:11,607
Check this out.

96
00:05:11,691 --> 00:05:13,776
"When facing yon adversaries,

97
00:05:13,859 --> 00:05:16,737
shield thyself under
an elfan buttress."

98
00:05:16,821 --> 00:05:18,447
Ha ha, say it again.

99
00:05:18,531 --> 00:05:20,866
Buttress.

100
00:05:20,950 --> 00:05:22,993
Hey, laugh all you want.

101
00:05:23,077 --> 00:05:25,204
You guys just aren't
smart enough to understand it.

102
00:05:25,287 --> 00:05:28,374
Sorry, dude,
but it is kinda nerdy.

103
00:05:28,457 --> 00:05:30,835
Well, I'm off to lay siege
to a goblin fortress.

104
00:05:30,918 --> 00:05:32,503
To my grandma's backyard!

105
00:05:35,172 --> 00:05:37,758
Oh, nice, you rolled a 17.

106
00:05:37,842 --> 00:05:40,886
And this is sad.

107
00:05:40,970 --> 00:05:43,222
Maybe I should start obsessing
over Wendy again.

108
00:05:43,305 --> 00:05:45,725
Hey, give it back.

109
00:05:45,808 --> 00:05:48,561
Come on, Gompers. Let go.

110
00:05:48,644 --> 00:05:50,896
Oh, man, my 38-sided die!

111
00:06:09,248 --> 00:06:10,875
Dipper, stop!

112
00:06:10,958 --> 00:06:12,376
Great-uncle Ford.

113
00:06:12,460 --> 00:06:15,004
What did I say
about coming down here?

114
00:06:15,087 --> 00:06:18,132
My work is far too dangerous
for a single living soul

115
00:06:18,215 --> 00:06:20,468
to spend even one second…

116
00:06:20,551 --> 00:06:22,636
Wait. Is that a 38-sided die

117
00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:25,222
from Dungeons, Dungeons,
And More Dungeons?

118
00:06:25,306 --> 00:06:27,767
Yeah. You know that game?

119
00:06:27,850 --> 00:06:31,145
With pen and paper,
shield and sword

120
00:06:31,228 --> 00:06:34,356
our quest shall be
our sweet reward!

121
00:06:36,442 --> 00:06:39,779
This is my favorite game
in the whole multi-verse.

122
00:06:39,862 --> 00:06:41,363
I can't believe they still make it.

123
00:06:41,447 --> 00:06:44,825
They do, and I've been looking all day
for someone to play with me.

124
00:06:44,909 --> 00:06:48,287
My boy, do you know
what this means?

125
00:06:48,370 --> 00:06:52,458
We must stop everything
I've been working on at once,

126
00:06:52,541 --> 00:06:53,667
and play!

127
00:06:58,506 --> 00:07:00,716
That's going to leave a mark.

128
00:07:01,300 --> 00:07:03,636
Okay, I think we've got
everything we need to watch

129
00:07:03,719 --> 00:07:06,222
the season finale of
Duck-tective tomorrow.

130
00:07:06,305 --> 00:07:08,015
I even made mouth ramps

131
00:07:08,098 --> 00:07:11,977
so we can pour food into our mouths
without taking our eyes off the screen.

132
00:07:12,061 --> 00:07:14,230
Yum, yum, yum.

133
00:07:14,313 --> 00:07:18,067
And I recreated the main character
out of spare taxidermy parts.

134
00:07:18,150 --> 00:07:19,735
Quack, quack,
I'm the duck detective.

135
00:07:19,819 --> 00:07:21,612
Who stole my bread loaf?

136
00:07:23,364 --> 00:07:26,283
That is so messed up.
Dipper would love that.

137
00:07:26,367 --> 00:07:27,952
Yeah, where is
the little squirt anyway?

138
00:07:28,035 --> 00:07:29,912
I haven't seen him
all afternoon.

139
00:07:32,206 --> 00:07:36,085
All right, you enter the chamber.
Princess Unattainabelle beckons you.

140
00:07:36,168 --> 00:07:38,629
But wait, it's a trap.

141
00:07:38,712 --> 00:07:42,800
An illusion cast by
Probabilitor the Annoying.

142
00:07:42,883 --> 00:07:44,218
You know his weakness, right?

143
00:07:44,301 --> 00:07:46,220
Prime statistical
anomalies over 37

144
00:07:46,303 --> 00:07:49,098
but not exceeding 51.

145
00:07:49,181 --> 00:07:54,019
Yes! Ungh! In your face,
you cardboard wizard.

146
00:07:54,103 --> 00:07:57,439
Hmm, the old boy looks a bit different
than he did back in my day.

147
00:07:57,523 --> 00:07:59,525
Yeah, they change the art
every few years.

148
00:07:59,608 --> 00:08:01,360
Thankfully, you missed the period

149
00:08:01,443 --> 00:08:04,113
when the creators of the game
tried to make it "cooler."

150
00:08:04,196 --> 00:08:06,782
Man, this game is boring.

151
00:08:08,617 --> 00:08:11,120
You dare challenge Probabilitizzle?

152
00:08:16,333 --> 00:08:18,586
Updated for
the nine double-deuce!

153
00:08:18,669 --> 00:08:21,130
- Available wherever dope games are sold.
- Peace!

154
00:08:21,213 --> 00:08:24,258
Must've been
dark times, those '90s.

155
00:08:24,341 --> 00:08:28,178
Yeesh. Sounds like a good time
to be stuck between dimensions.

156
00:08:28,262 --> 00:08:31,390
Great-uncle Ford,
I've been meaning to ask you.

157
00:08:31,473 --> 00:08:33,642
Where were you before
you came out of that machine,

158
00:08:33,726 --> 00:08:35,311
and what have you
been doing down here?

159
00:08:35,394 --> 00:08:37,247
Are you working on something
behind that curtain?

160
00:08:37,271 --> 00:08:41,483
Dipper, it's best if you and the family
stay away from that subject.

161
00:08:41,567 --> 00:08:44,612
Honestly, I'm not sure any of you could
handle the real answer.

162
00:08:44,695 --> 00:08:45,775
- But I can handle it.
- Ah!

163
00:08:45,821 --> 00:08:49,783
Ah-ah. But I can show you a little
something I brought back with me.

164
00:08:52,786 --> 00:08:55,247
An infinity-sided die.

165
00:08:57,416 --> 00:09:00,419
That's so cool… and impossible.

166
00:09:00,502 --> 00:09:03,923
These things are outlawed
in 9,000 dimensions.

167
00:09:04,006 --> 00:09:06,300
Wanna know why?
Look at those symbols.

168
00:09:06,383 --> 00:09:09,386
Infinite sides means
infinite outcomes.

169
00:09:09,470 --> 00:09:11,639
If I rolled it, anything could happen.

170
00:09:11,722 --> 00:09:15,559
Our faces could melt into jelly.
The world could turn into an egg.

171
00:09:15,643 --> 00:09:17,978
Or you could just roll an eight.
Who knows?

172
00:09:18,062 --> 00:09:21,565
That's why I have to keep it in this
protective cheap plastic case.

173
00:09:21,649 --> 00:09:23,484
Now, back to the game.

174
00:09:23,567 --> 00:09:25,486
You've got Probabilitor on the ropes.

175
00:09:29,823 --> 00:09:31,492
Oh, man.

176
00:09:31,575 --> 00:09:34,745
Then if I had a dragon here,
and then a plus-three…

177
00:09:34,828 --> 00:09:39,083
Dipper, are you gonna go to sleep?
You've been saying dork words for hours.

178
00:09:39,166 --> 00:09:41,835
Sorry, Mabel.
I gotta finish this dungeon.

179
00:09:41,919 --> 00:09:43,813
It's gonna totally stump
Great-uncle Ford tomorrow.

180
00:09:43,837 --> 00:09:45,756
I can't wait to see the look on his face.

181
00:09:45,839 --> 00:09:49,802
You're, uh, spending a lot of time
with old Fordsie lately, huh?

182
00:09:49,885 --> 00:09:51,595
You have no idea.

183
00:09:51,679 --> 00:09:54,932
I knew the author must be cool,
but he's better than I imagined.

184
00:09:55,015 --> 00:09:58,602
And he doesn't make fun of me all
the time, the way you and Grunkle Stan do.

185
00:09:58,686 --> 00:10:02,773
Give him time. Hi-oh!

186
00:10:02,856 --> 00:10:04,984
Ah, you got me.

187
00:10:07,152 --> 00:10:09,113
You got me.

188
00:10:11,490 --> 00:10:15,035
Thanks for coming over to watch tonight's
Duck-tective finale, Grenda.

189
00:10:15,119 --> 00:10:18,539
Of course. I'm so invested
in the lives of these characters.

190
00:10:18,622 --> 00:10:22,042
Hey, hey, look at you.
Someone's all dressed up.

191
00:10:22,126 --> 00:10:23,711
It's a big night.

192
00:10:23,794 --> 00:10:28,048
I think we all remember where we were
when we learned Duck-tective was shot.

193
00:10:28,132 --> 00:10:31,969
Viewing positions, everyone!

194
00:10:34,304 --> 00:10:37,516
Ahh! Graph paper. Kill it, kill it!

195
00:10:37,599 --> 00:10:40,436
Dipper, could you maybe
move this to another room?

196
00:10:40,519 --> 00:10:41,520
No dice.

197
00:10:41,603 --> 00:10:44,732
We ran out of room in the basement
and we're going for a world record.

198
00:10:44,815 --> 00:10:46,567
Now dice!

199
00:10:46,650 --> 00:10:48,193
Thirty-two.

200
00:10:48,277 --> 00:10:51,280
- Yes! 7,000 points damage.
- You got me.

201
00:10:51,613 --> 00:10:53,532
Why with this?

202
00:10:53,615 --> 00:10:55,451
Wanna break a record, Ford?

203
00:10:55,534 --> 00:10:57,786
You already got it for
world's nerdiest old man.

204
00:10:57,870 --> 00:11:00,581
Hey, at least I'm not all keyed up
to watch a kids' show.

205
00:11:00,664 --> 00:11:02,624
I'll have you know that Duck-tective

206
00:11:02,708 --> 00:11:05,377
has a big mystery element,
and a lot of humor

207
00:11:05,461 --> 00:11:06,837
that goes over kids' heads.

208
00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:10,424
I don't get a lot of it,
but I like animals in human situation.

209
00:11:10,507 --> 00:11:12,468
Grunkle Stan,
it starts in a few minutes!

210
00:11:14,386 --> 00:11:17,264
Move that and pay the price.

211
00:11:17,347 --> 00:11:19,767
Oh, what, 50 magical dwarf dollars?

212
00:11:19,850 --> 00:11:22,436
Don't mock our fantastical
monetary system.

213
00:11:22,519 --> 00:11:24,354
I'll mock all I want. It's my TV room.

214
00:11:24,438 --> 00:11:25,939
It's my house! You…

215
00:11:26,023 --> 00:11:29,109
Listen, Stanley,
did it ever occur to you

216
00:11:29,193 --> 00:11:31,820
that if you joined us,
you might actually have fun?

217
00:11:31,904 --> 00:11:33,489
What? Now you listen to me.

218
00:11:33,572 --> 00:11:35,699
As long as I live, I will never…

219
00:11:35,783 --> 00:11:36,903
- Grunkle Stan, wait.
- Ever.

220
00:11:37,326 --> 00:11:39,495
- Stanley!
- Play your smarty-pants nerd game.

221
00:11:39,578 --> 00:11:41,163
No!

222
00:11:48,337 --> 00:11:53,801
Mortals of Dimension 46'\,
kneel before me and

223
00:11:56,358 --> 00:11:57,539
snivel!

224
00:11:58,680 --> 00:12:03,602
I am Probabilitor,
the greatest wizard in all mathology,

225
00:12:03,685 --> 00:12:05,896
give or take an error of 0.4.

226
00:12:05,979 --> 00:12:07,564
Uh, is this normal?

227
00:12:07,648 --> 00:12:10,317
Have you come to send us
on the quest of a lifetime,

228
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,003
because we're the smartest
players you've ever met?

229
00:12:12,027 --> 00:12:15,239
You are the smartest players
I've ever met.

230
00:12:15,322 --> 00:12:18,450
That's why I'm going to eat your brains,
to gain your intelligence.

231
00:12:18,534 --> 00:12:19,701
It's what I do.

232
00:12:19,785 --> 00:12:22,329
- It's his thing.
- What?

233
00:12:22,412 --> 00:12:24,540
Seize them!

234
00:12:24,623 --> 00:12:27,417
Your math is no match
for my gun, you idiot.

235
00:12:27,501 --> 00:12:28,752
Math ray!

236
00:12:31,255 --> 00:12:33,257
I'm not here to play games.

237
00:12:33,340 --> 00:12:35,134
- Uh!
- Ah!

238
00:12:35,217 --> 00:12:38,428
Now to the forest for the ultimate game.

239
00:12:42,641 --> 00:12:45,936
So the room's free now.

240
00:12:46,019 --> 00:12:48,730
Who wants to watch Duck-tective?

241
00:12:48,814 --> 00:12:52,109
Nobody? More couch for Grenda.

242
00:12:53,569 --> 00:12:57,197
Oh, no! That crazy wizard
is going to eat our brother's brain!

243
00:12:57,281 --> 00:12:58,907
We have to stop him!

244
00:12:58,991 --> 00:13:01,952
Uh, maybe let him get a couple bites
in Ford's brain first.

245
00:13:02,035 --> 00:13:03,620
Even things out, smartness-wise.

246
00:13:03,704 --> 00:13:06,331
- Grunkle Stan!
- All right, all right.

247
00:13:06,415 --> 00:13:10,127
I guess if we have no other choice,
we'll go on a

248
00:13:10,210 --> 00:13:12,045
epic wizard quest.

249
00:13:12,129 --> 00:13:14,798
Everyone grab a weapon.

250
00:13:19,178 --> 00:13:20,179
Nice.

251
00:13:22,639 --> 00:13:24,474
We're coming for you, Dipper.

252
00:13:24,558 --> 00:13:25,934
And Great-uncle Ford.

253
00:13:26,018 --> 00:13:29,271
And possibly that hot elf,
if he's got anything to do with this.

254
00:13:36,278 --> 00:13:40,741
With each brain I eat,
I shall increase my enchant-elligence.

255
00:13:40,824 --> 00:13:44,536
If my hands were free,
I'd break every part of your face.

256
00:13:44,620 --> 00:13:45,913
The time has come.

257
00:13:45,996 --> 00:13:48,957
Hot elf, ready the brain-cooking pot.

258
00:13:49,041 --> 00:13:51,460
Yes, Probabilitor.

259
00:14:02,930 --> 00:14:04,806
We must be getting close.

260
00:14:04,890 --> 00:14:06,642
These fairy bites
are getting more frequent.

261
00:14:06,725 --> 00:14:09,102
Hey, look, listen.

262
00:14:10,229 --> 00:14:13,440
Halt! Yon interlopers are trespassing

263
00:14:13,523 --> 00:14:16,068
on the ancient forest
of Probabilitor the Wizard.

264
00:14:16,151 --> 00:14:20,906
If ye wish to pass, first ye must
complete seven unworldly quests,

265
00:14:20,989 --> 00:14:22,699
each more difficult than the last.

266
00:14:22,783 --> 00:14:23,909
No!

267
00:14:25,661 --> 00:14:27,829
Is he… dead?

268
00:14:27,913 --> 00:14:30,540
He's magic, sweetie.
I'm sure he's fine.

269
00:14:30,624 --> 00:14:33,262
There's no cops in the forest.
We take this to our graves.

270
00:14:36,922 --> 00:14:39,549
- What do we do, what do we do?
- Stop thinking, Dipper.

271
00:14:39,633 --> 00:14:42,427
The more wrinkled your brain gets,
the more he'll wanna eat it.

272
00:14:42,511 --> 00:14:44,846
And now, a little math problem.

273
00:14:44,930 --> 00:14:47,891
When I subtract your brain
from your skull,

274
00:14:47,975 --> 00:14:51,812
add salt and divide your family,
what's the remainder?

275
00:14:51,895 --> 00:14:53,313
Your butt!

276
00:14:53,397 --> 00:14:57,067
What? My butt isn't part
of this particular equation.

277
00:14:58,777 --> 00:15:01,905
Drat! How did you make it
past my one guard?

278
00:15:01,989 --> 00:15:06,785
Very well. There's only one way
your family can save you.

279
00:15:06,868 --> 00:15:12,374
You must defeat me in Dungeons, Dungeons,
And More Dungeons,

280
00:15:12,457 --> 00:15:14,710
Real Life Edition!

281
00:15:18,046 --> 00:15:19,840
What? Oh, come on.

282
00:15:19,923 --> 00:15:22,968
I choose my characters versus

283
00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:26,555
yours.

284
00:15:27,556 --> 00:15:30,392
Oh, my ears, they're so pointy.

285
00:15:30,475 --> 00:15:34,646
There better be something protective
under this tunic. Oh, no, there isn't.

286
00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:38,608
Seriously? Can't we just, like,
arm wrestle or something?

287
00:15:38,692 --> 00:15:42,988
Come on, this game is a lot of fun.
I had my mom pack me a lunch.

288
00:15:43,071 --> 00:15:45,615
Ew, apple slices?
I'll eat you last.

289
00:15:45,699 --> 00:15:49,369
Just make with the rules, ugly.

290
00:15:49,453 --> 00:15:51,413
The game is a battle royale.

291
00:15:51,496 --> 00:15:54,750
We help our characters by casting spells
determined by rolls of the dice.

292
00:15:54,833 --> 00:15:57,919
If you win, I go back
to my own dimension.

293
00:15:58,003 --> 00:16:01,506
But if I win, I eat their brains.

294
00:16:01,590 --> 00:16:03,026
Hey, I'm not sure this is such a good…

295
00:16:03,050 --> 00:16:04,050
- Deal!
- Oh, boy.

296
00:16:04,801 --> 00:16:07,846
Let the game begin!

297
00:16:11,183 --> 00:16:12,225
Attack!

298
00:16:17,022 --> 00:16:20,859
- What do we do? What are our moves?
- There are no moves. You make them up.

299
00:16:20,942 --> 00:16:24,363
- What? Really?
- Yes. I tried to tell you.

300
00:16:24,446 --> 00:16:27,574
This game involves math,
but also risk and imagination.

301
00:16:27,657 --> 00:16:30,202
- Risk!
- Imagination?

302
00:16:30,285 --> 00:16:33,246
Grunkle Stan, make something up.
It's just like lying.

303
00:16:34,498 --> 00:16:36,166
I cast… uh…

304
00:16:37,250 --> 00:16:39,628
Shield of shielding.

305
00:16:42,714 --> 00:16:43,882
Ha! We're doin' it.

306
00:16:43,965 --> 00:16:47,219
Shield of shielding reversal spell.

307
00:16:49,971 --> 00:16:52,265
I cast giggle time bouncy boots.

308
00:16:56,061 --> 00:17:00,399
Hot Flame-y Sword.
Super Hot Flamey Sword!

309
00:17:05,195 --> 00:17:06,196
No!

310
00:17:06,530 --> 00:17:08,865
Drat you! You'll never outrun my…

311
00:17:09,699 --> 00:17:14,413
Ogre-nado. It is what it sounds like.

312
00:17:17,290 --> 00:17:21,420
I cast Centaur-taur! Yah!

313
00:17:26,133 --> 00:17:29,469
Mabel, I am so confused
and so proud right now.

314
00:17:33,890 --> 00:17:35,809
- Go! Go, you can do it!
- Go! Go!

315
00:17:42,441 --> 00:17:44,401
- Yes!
- Yeah!

316
00:17:51,867 --> 00:17:55,912
Ha, ha, ha, yes!
I was saving the worst for last.

317
00:17:56,621 --> 00:17:59,207
Oh, no. The Impossi-beast.

318
00:17:59,291 --> 00:18:00,931
Hey, I thought they
banned this character.

319
00:18:00,959 --> 00:18:05,964
Think again. I'm playing
the controversial 1991-1992 edition.

320
00:18:07,299 --> 00:18:08,884
I'll think of some weapons.

321
00:18:08,967 --> 00:18:12,095
You don't understand. This is the
most powerful monster in the game.

322
00:18:12,179 --> 00:18:14,890
He can only be defeated
by rolling a perfect 38.

323
00:18:14,973 --> 00:18:16,141
But the odds of that are…

324
00:18:16,224 --> 00:18:20,729
Hey, long odds are what you want
when you're a world-class gambler.

325
00:18:20,812 --> 00:18:25,108
All right, Stan, you can do this.
Papa needs a new pair of

326
00:18:25,192 --> 00:18:26,818
twins!

327
00:18:34,743 --> 00:18:36,286
No!

328
00:18:36,369 --> 00:18:37,787
Sorry, nerd wizard.

329
00:18:37,871 --> 00:18:41,416
All of your smarts
are no match for dumb luck.

330
00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:43,752
I cast Death Muffins!

331
00:18:47,422 --> 00:18:48,465
Huh?

332
00:18:50,842 --> 00:18:52,469
Yes!

333
00:18:54,429 --> 00:18:57,307
The game is, like, over.

334
00:18:57,390 --> 00:18:59,226
Excelsi-whatever.

335
00:18:59,309 --> 00:19:04,898
No! I'm returning to my own realm.
I'm turning into pure math.

336
00:19:04,981 --> 00:19:08,693
What are the odds?

337
00:19:10,862 --> 00:19:14,199
Grunkle Stan, that was amazing.
How did you know that you would win?

338
00:19:14,282 --> 00:19:16,660
Hey, a gambler never reveals his secrets.

339
00:19:18,662 --> 00:19:22,040
Man, that was fun for ages eight to 80.

340
00:19:22,123 --> 00:19:24,793
Or a million or however old you guys are.

341
00:19:24,876 --> 00:19:28,338
You know, I'm sorry for making
fun of your game, kiddo.

342
00:19:28,421 --> 00:19:30,298
Sure, it might be too nerdy for me,

343
00:19:30,382 --> 00:19:32,921
but it's just the right amount of nerdy
for you and my brother.

344
00:19:32,996 --> 00:19:36,746
And if you two wanna hang out sometimes,
I won't get in your way.

345
00:19:36,897 --> 00:19:40,141
Actually, after all that,
I could use a little mindless fun.

346
00:19:40,517 --> 00:19:43,412
Guys, we can watch the second showing
of Duck-tective.

347
00:19:43,562 --> 00:19:45,260
It's not too late.

348
00:19:52,596 --> 00:19:54,558
I just don't understand
who shot you.

349
00:19:55,007 --> 00:19:57,467
The only person clever enough
to defeat Duck-tective

350
00:19:57,701 --> 00:19:59,870
is… Duck-tective.

351
00:20:09,671 --> 00:20:14,092
He had a twin brother all along?
That's the big twist we were waiting for?

352
00:20:14,301 --> 00:20:15,385
What a rip-off.

353
00:20:15,552 --> 00:20:17,012
I predicted that, like, a year ago.

354
00:20:22,225 --> 00:20:24,352
This will be here if you ever need it.

355
00:20:24,436 --> 00:20:27,731
Really? Even though I got us
into the whole game-playing mess?

356
00:20:28,106 --> 00:20:29,680
Ah, we both got carried away.

357
00:20:29,925 --> 00:20:32,386
I guess we'd both gone
for a while without a friend.

358
00:20:33,918 --> 00:20:35,893
Dipper, can I tell you something?

359
00:20:37,390 --> 00:20:40,163
You asked me earlier
what I was working on.

360
00:20:40,310 --> 00:20:41,738
Well…

361
00:20:42,162 --> 00:20:44,331
I dismantled the portal.

362
00:20:44,414 --> 00:20:48,047
An inter-dimensional gateway is too
dangerous for the world it feeds into.

363
00:20:48,109 --> 00:20:50,327
That's why I was mad at Stan
for using it.

364
00:20:50,946 --> 00:20:52,921
He saved me, but as I feared,

365
00:20:53,632 --> 00:20:55,908
the instability of the machine
created this.

366
00:20:56,083 --> 00:20:57,794
An inter-dimensional rift.

367
00:20:58,094 --> 00:21:00,805
I've contained it for now,
but it's incredibly dangerous.

368
00:21:01,064 --> 00:21:03,567
Dipper, I don't want you
to tell anyone about this.

369
00:21:03,725 --> 00:21:05,560
Not Stan, not even your sister.

370
00:21:05,644 --> 00:21:08,476
- Do you understand?
- Oh, of course.

371
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:11,226
In my time, I've made
many powerful enemies.

372
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:13,121
But I trust you with this secret.

373
00:21:14,778 --> 00:21:16,439
Now get yourself to bed.

374
00:21:16,905 --> 00:21:18,578
I have much research to do.

375
00:21:19,224 --> 00:21:22,063
- Good night, Great-uncle Ford.
- Good night, Dipper.

376
00:21:35,757 --> 00:21:38,176
Guys, do you ever think
maybe we're doin' this

377
00:21:38,259 --> 00:21:39,988
'cause our lives
aren't special enough?

378
00:21:40,095 --> 00:21:42,305
That we use fantasy
as an escape to avoid

379
00:21:42,439 --> 00:21:43,773
the self-improvement we all need?

380
00:21:44,057 --> 00:21:46,810
That maybe we should just go out
and grow as people?

381
00:21:47,777 --> 00:21:50,927
- Fortresses can't speak, Durland.
- I'm a fortress.

382
00:21:54,484 --> 00:21:56,027
Does anyone wanna rescue him?

383
00:21:56,111 --> 00:22:00,490
- Ah, I'm kind of tired. Worn out.
- I'm good. Long day,