1 00:00:02,049 --> 00:00:03,884 Nice. 2 00:00:05,303 --> 00:00:06,929 And don't forget bug spray. 3 00:00:07,096 --> 00:00:09,640 It's perfect for spraying in the face of hitchhikers. 4 00:00:09,807 --> 00:00:11,976 Whoa! An RV? Camping gear? 5 00:00:12,143 --> 00:00:13,728 Are you running from the law again? 6 00:00:13,811 --> 00:00:16,731 Dude, it's the ultimate Oregon road trip adventure. 7 00:00:16,814 --> 00:00:18,274 More like revenge trip. 8 00:00:18,357 --> 00:00:21,777 Every year, my tourist trap competitors prank the Mystery Shack. 9 00:00:21,902 --> 00:00:24,780 Last year, those hooligans duct taped Soos to the ceiling. 10 00:00:24,864 --> 00:00:27,575 - That was a fun 78 hours. - Well, no more. 11 00:00:27,783 --> 00:00:29,503 This year, we're visiting every tourist trap 12 00:00:29,535 --> 00:00:31,120 along the Redwood Highway, 13 00:00:31,203 --> 00:00:33,789 and I'm gonna prank back every single one. 14 00:00:34,832 --> 00:00:37,793 Bow-wow! Time to let the Road Dawgs bark. 15 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:40,046 That is us. We are the Road Dawgs. 16 00:00:40,338 --> 00:00:42,423 Thanks for letting me bring Candy and Grenda along 17 00:00:42,548 --> 00:00:44,091 for our road trip, Grunkle Stan. 18 00:00:44,258 --> 00:00:45,343 The more, the merrier. 19 00:00:45,468 --> 00:00:47,303 Just sign these non-disclosure agreements. 20 00:00:47,845 --> 00:00:49,805 None of your parents are lawyers, right? 21 00:00:49,889 --> 00:00:52,391 Ha! What do you say, dude? You coming? 22 00:00:52,558 --> 00:00:54,852 I already went to the trouble of packing all your stuff. 23 00:00:54,977 --> 00:00:57,730 Even the stuff you kept in that secret box under the bed. 24 00:00:57,813 --> 00:01:00,149 Whoa! What the… 25 00:01:00,274 --> 00:01:01,859 What's that? 26 00:01:02,276 --> 00:01:06,197 Uh, nothing. Just… Wendy stuff, from old times. 27 00:01:07,865 --> 00:01:10,201 Bro, I thought you were finally past all this. 28 00:01:10,409 --> 00:01:12,161 Ahh, I know, I know! 29 00:01:12,328 --> 00:01:14,872 I know she's not interested, and I know it's over, 30 00:01:14,997 --> 00:01:17,875 but how do you just turn off the way you feel about someone? 31 00:01:18,125 --> 00:01:20,503 Two words, Dipper. Move on. 32 00:01:20,753 --> 00:01:24,215 Yeah, dude, and a road trip's the perfect place to meet new people. 33 00:02:18,561 --> 00:02:20,312 Man, RV's are amazing. 34 00:02:20,438 --> 00:02:24,024 I can't believe we're sitting at a table in a moving vehicle. 35 00:02:24,191 --> 00:02:26,527 Ooh! Informational travel pamphlets. 36 00:02:26,777 --> 00:02:29,447 I want to read them all and gain their travel knowledge. 37 00:02:29,697 --> 00:02:32,950 Kid, those useless pamphlets have never helped a single person. 38 00:02:33,033 --> 00:02:35,745 The only wrinkly old travel guide you'll need is me. 39 00:02:35,911 --> 00:02:36,996 Now look alive! 40 00:02:37,079 --> 00:02:38,359 We're coming up on an attraction 41 00:02:38,414 --> 00:02:41,751 run by the most black-hearted proprietor in all of Oregon. 42 00:02:44,628 --> 00:02:46,005 Don't let the face fool you. 43 00:02:46,088 --> 00:02:49,717 This woman lit my car on fire on two non-consecutive occasions. 44 00:02:49,842 --> 00:02:51,093 Whoa! 45 00:02:51,177 --> 00:02:52,970 I'm going in, girls. 46 00:02:53,179 --> 00:02:54,889 Whaaa! 47 00:02:55,014 --> 00:02:56,474 Yarn! 48 00:02:59,185 --> 00:03:01,979 Okay, like Soos said, meet new people. 49 00:03:04,190 --> 00:03:06,942 So, uh, come here often? 50 00:03:07,026 --> 00:03:08,319 No. I'm a tourist. 51 00:03:08,611 --> 00:03:10,488 You're funny… and cute. 52 00:03:10,613 --> 00:03:11,906 I mean, not cute. 53 00:03:12,072 --> 00:03:14,116 I mean, you're not not cute. 54 00:03:14,283 --> 00:03:16,076 Whew, let me start over. 55 00:03:16,243 --> 00:03:17,411 My name is Dopper. 56 00:03:21,290 --> 00:03:22,625 Dipper, hup to. 57 00:03:22,792 --> 00:03:25,002 This ball of yarn ain't gonna prank itself. 58 00:03:32,593 --> 00:03:33,928 Something on your mind, kiddo? 59 00:03:34,094 --> 00:03:36,334 You're thinking about Miss Cold Shoulder over there, huh? 60 00:03:36,472 --> 00:03:38,015 Ah, I'm so embarrassed. 61 00:03:38,265 --> 00:03:41,101 Look, earlier this summer, I ruined my chances with Wendy. 62 00:03:41,227 --> 00:03:43,562 Heh, yeah. Chances. 63 00:03:43,813 --> 00:03:46,941 And I wanna move on, but I'm terrible at talking to girls. 64 00:03:47,107 --> 00:03:50,861 The moment I open my mouth around them, I unravel like… like… 65 00:03:51,570 --> 00:03:54,156 Well, I can't think of a perfect metaphor, but you get the gist. 66 00:03:54,323 --> 00:03:58,661 At this rate, I'm gonna grow up to be a sad loner like Toby Determined. 67 00:03:58,869 --> 00:04:01,372 Whoa, never say that about yourself. 68 00:04:01,622 --> 00:04:03,624 Lucky for you, I'm an expert on women. 69 00:04:03,958 --> 00:04:06,877 Listen to me, kid. When it comes to girls, always be confident, 70 00:04:06,961 --> 00:04:08,921 and be funny, but not too funny. 71 00:04:09,046 --> 00:04:11,382 And be kind of annoying, but in a loveable way. 72 00:04:11,632 --> 00:04:14,468 I don't know, Grunkle Stan. This sounds kind of jerky. 73 00:04:14,635 --> 00:04:19,056 Hey, "jerky" is just a term non-jerks use to bad-mouth innocent jerks. 74 00:04:19,348 --> 00:04:22,768 Confidence, comedy, some third word starting with a "C." 75 00:04:22,852 --> 00:04:25,229 The three C's of the Stan Pines Dating Technique. 76 00:04:25,354 --> 00:04:26,689 At the next tourist trap, 77 00:04:26,814 --> 00:04:29,066 try out my advice on the first girl you see. 78 00:04:29,191 --> 00:04:31,777 Cool. Grunkle Stan, thanks. 79 00:04:32,111 --> 00:04:34,071 Hey, I'm full of good ideas. 80 00:04:34,321 --> 00:04:36,532 Speakin' of which, everyone, now! 81 00:04:44,206 --> 00:04:47,167 Why, you gol-darned son of a no-good! 82 00:04:50,588 --> 00:04:53,048 I'll get you, Stan Pines! 83 00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:58,554 Ah, Upside-Down Town. 84 00:04:58,637 --> 00:05:00,389 The nausea capital of the state. 85 00:05:00,556 --> 00:05:03,058 Whatever you do, don't use the bathrooms. 86 00:05:04,018 --> 00:05:06,478 Road Dawgs! Woof, woof, woof! 87 00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:12,818 - Whoa! - So weird! 88 00:05:22,453 --> 00:05:24,121 All right, kid, this is it. 89 00:05:24,288 --> 00:05:25,748 Be confident. 90 00:05:25,873 --> 00:05:27,875 Hi. I'm Dipper. 91 00:05:28,125 --> 00:05:29,168 Crazy place, right? 92 00:05:29,501 --> 00:05:31,003 Oh, hi. I'm Emma Sue. 93 00:05:31,211 --> 00:05:32,971 You know, if you pretend we're right-side up, 94 00:05:33,047 --> 00:05:35,341 it looks like everyone's hair is standing on end. 95 00:05:35,591 --> 00:05:38,177 Huh, yeah. Weird, right? Pretend you're screaming. 96 00:05:38,260 --> 00:05:40,471 Okay. You gotta take a picture of me, though. 97 00:05:42,514 --> 00:05:43,807 Let's see about… Whoa! 98 00:05:43,891 --> 00:05:46,226 Ho-ho, just kidding. 99 00:05:46,352 --> 00:05:47,686 You are the worst! 100 00:05:47,770 --> 00:05:51,065 You bet I am. I'm bad, Emma. Kind of a jerk. 101 00:05:51,231 --> 00:05:52,232 Emma, come on! 102 00:05:52,399 --> 00:05:55,110 We have to get to Canada before your mother gives birth. 103 00:05:55,277 --> 00:05:56,487 It's a long story. 104 00:05:56,612 --> 00:05:58,656 Maybe you could tell me sometime. 105 00:05:58,781 --> 00:06:00,366 Here's my email address. 106 00:06:00,491 --> 00:06:02,368 Write me and I'll tell you all about it. 107 00:06:03,953 --> 00:06:06,914 A girl gave me her email, and it wasn't out of pity. 108 00:06:07,081 --> 00:06:08,374 Yes! 109 00:06:09,458 --> 00:06:10,918 Whoa! 110 00:06:11,001 --> 00:06:12,878 I'm okay. I'm better than okay. 111 00:06:12,962 --> 00:06:15,255 Mabel, hi. There's my Grenda. 112 00:06:15,339 --> 00:06:16,882 Candy, looking great, looking great. 113 00:06:16,966 --> 00:06:18,968 Is that a new pair of glasses? Very shiny. 114 00:06:19,635 --> 00:06:21,637 Whoo! 115 00:06:21,971 --> 00:06:25,808 Maybe it's the blood pooling in my head, but Dipper seems different. 116 00:06:27,685 --> 00:06:29,311 Yes, good different. 117 00:06:29,436 --> 00:06:30,771 Now, Soos. 118 00:06:39,405 --> 00:06:42,199 Not so upside-down now! 119 00:06:42,282 --> 00:06:44,076 What a lovely normal home. 120 00:06:44,743 --> 00:06:46,620 Stan Pines! 121 00:06:48,706 --> 00:06:50,207 I can't believe it worked. 122 00:06:50,374 --> 00:06:52,042 What do I do now? Do I email her? 123 00:06:52,126 --> 00:06:53,836 No, no, no. You practice. 124 00:06:53,961 --> 00:06:56,296 The more girls you talk to, the better you get at it. 125 00:06:56,463 --> 00:06:58,841 Grunkle Stan, these tips are priceless. 126 00:06:58,966 --> 00:07:01,677 And that's just the tip of the advice-berg. 127 00:07:20,404 --> 00:07:22,614 - Everyone on board? - Probably. 128 00:07:26,076 --> 00:07:27,494 Guys? Hello? 129 00:07:28,162 --> 00:07:29,163 Anyone? 130 00:07:29,830 --> 00:07:31,206 They'll come back for me. 131 00:07:34,001 --> 00:07:37,087 So then I said to the bouncer, "Where's your ID, ugly?" 132 00:07:37,379 --> 00:07:38,881 That's where I got this scar. 133 00:07:39,006 --> 00:07:42,760 Grunkle Stan, I gotta say, this was one of the best days ever. 134 00:07:42,968 --> 00:07:43,969 Look! 135 00:07:45,471 --> 00:07:48,724 That's the Stan Pines method, kid. Works every time. 136 00:07:49,016 --> 00:07:51,226 I'm just a little worried, though. 137 00:07:51,310 --> 00:07:54,063 I mean, is it bad to flirt with this many girls at once? 138 00:07:54,354 --> 00:07:56,106 I'm just trying to get over Wendy. 139 00:07:56,231 --> 00:07:58,025 I don't wanna hurt anyone's feelings. 140 00:07:58,192 --> 00:08:01,028 Please. That's the best part of flirting on a road trip. 141 00:08:01,278 --> 00:08:03,155 You're not gonna see any of these gals again. 142 00:08:03,405 --> 00:08:04,823 To moving on. 143 00:08:08,494 --> 00:08:10,412 Okay, it's time for… 144 00:08:10,496 --> 00:08:12,081 Truth or Dare or Don't! 145 00:08:12,372 --> 00:08:14,374 I choose… don't! 146 00:08:14,541 --> 00:08:16,210 Ah! You always choose don't. 147 00:08:16,376 --> 00:08:17,961 Fine. Uh… truth. 148 00:08:18,128 --> 00:08:21,799 Do you like someone? 149 00:08:21,965 --> 00:08:25,719 Uh-oh. Someone's blushing. 150 00:08:25,886 --> 00:08:27,763 Okay, maybe just a little. 151 00:08:27,930 --> 00:08:30,349 I don't know for sure. It just started. 152 00:08:30,474 --> 00:08:32,184 Tell us! Tell us! 153 00:08:32,434 --> 00:08:36,313 Okay. It begins with a "D" and ends with an "ipper." 154 00:08:36,522 --> 00:08:38,565 - No! - Yes! 155 00:08:40,442 --> 00:08:43,028 Ready, Grenda? Three, two, one. 156 00:08:47,032 --> 00:08:49,618 Man, coyotes sound a lot worse than I remember. 157 00:08:52,412 --> 00:08:55,457 Candy, Candy, all my life dreams are coming true right now. 158 00:08:55,624 --> 00:08:57,626 My brother, my best friend. 159 00:08:57,709 --> 00:09:01,130 I can't breathe! I'm so excited, I can't breathe! 160 00:09:01,797 --> 00:09:05,175 I never really noticed him before, but he seems different lately, 161 00:09:05,259 --> 00:09:07,928 less sweaty and more charming. 162 00:09:08,053 --> 00:09:09,805 But how do I approach him? 163 00:09:10,055 --> 00:09:12,391 Don't even worry about that, Can-Can. 164 00:09:12,474 --> 00:09:14,434 Mabel's got a plan. 165 00:09:15,936 --> 00:09:18,689 Mabel's got a plan. 166 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:24,111 All right, campers, we got another day of breakin' laws and breakin' hearts. 167 00:09:24,194 --> 00:09:26,488 Everything up until now has been a walk in the park 168 00:09:26,613 --> 00:09:27,990 compared to our next attraction. 169 00:09:28,073 --> 00:09:30,033 Is it a walk in the world's biggest park? 170 00:09:30,117 --> 00:09:32,703 Uh, sort of. There she is, kids. 171 00:09:33,036 --> 00:09:34,580 Mystery Mountain. 172 00:09:36,081 --> 00:09:38,250 Five times the size of the Mystery Shack, 173 00:09:38,375 --> 00:09:40,919 and what's worse, she has real attractions. 174 00:09:41,086 --> 00:09:43,046 Oh, I have read about this place. 175 00:09:43,130 --> 00:09:45,424 It has sky tram, and a mummy museum, 176 00:09:45,507 --> 00:09:48,886 and sightings of half-human, half-spider creatures. 177 00:09:49,636 --> 00:09:52,139 Even their made-up legends are better than ours. 178 00:09:52,264 --> 00:09:55,058 Today, the mountain falls. 179 00:09:56,602 --> 00:09:58,770 The backseat makes me carsick. 180 00:09:58,937 --> 00:10:00,230 Can I sit up front today? 181 00:10:00,355 --> 00:10:02,900 Also a question: I'm the size of two people. 182 00:10:03,150 --> 00:10:05,068 Can I have a whole seat to myself? 183 00:10:05,277 --> 00:10:06,528 Eh, I don't know. Sure. 184 00:10:06,653 --> 00:10:08,071 Whoo! Change-up! 185 00:10:09,489 --> 00:10:12,159 But wait, that means it'll be just me and… 186 00:10:12,326 --> 00:10:13,911 Candy Chiu. Sixth grade. 187 00:10:14,119 --> 00:10:15,704 Oh! Hey. 188 00:10:21,251 --> 00:10:22,669 You're sitting close. 189 00:10:25,172 --> 00:10:27,257 So, Dipper, I was wondering, 190 00:10:27,341 --> 00:10:30,928 would you maybe want to walk around the Mystery Mountain with me today? 191 00:10:31,511 --> 00:10:34,598 Sure. I mean… wasn't that already the plan? 192 00:10:34,765 --> 00:10:36,391 I mean, just us. 193 00:10:36,475 --> 00:10:39,144 You and me. Candy and Dipper. 194 00:10:46,568 --> 00:10:50,822 All right, Road Dawgs, I got five bucks for whoever can tip the big blue ox. 195 00:10:51,031 --> 00:10:52,282 Go, go, go. 196 00:10:53,450 --> 00:10:56,161 I will see you in there. 197 00:10:56,495 --> 00:10:58,247 Hey, what's with the mopey mug, kid? 198 00:10:58,497 --> 00:10:59,831 Stan, you gotta help me. 199 00:10:59,915 --> 00:11:01,833 Everything you taught me worked too well. 200 00:11:01,959 --> 00:11:04,211 I think Candy just asked me out on a date. 201 00:11:04,294 --> 00:11:06,505 Hey, look at this little champion. 202 00:11:06,672 --> 00:11:08,465 What? No. I mean… 203 00:11:08,590 --> 00:11:11,176 Candy's great, she's sweet, and she's smart, 204 00:11:11,343 --> 00:11:13,387 but I've never thought of her like that. 205 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:15,639 This is all moving way too fast. 206 00:11:17,391 --> 00:11:22,229 Okay, I just need to be honest with her, and tell her I'm not ready for all this. 207 00:11:22,396 --> 00:11:25,107 Don't you see what's happening here? 208 00:11:25,274 --> 00:11:28,151 That's your dumb obsession with Wendy getting in the way of your future. 209 00:11:28,277 --> 00:11:31,613 If you wanna move on, you gotta say yes to whatever comes your way. 210 00:11:32,531 --> 00:11:33,865 Speaking of which… 211 00:11:35,951 --> 00:11:37,577 But I don't wanna lead her on. 212 00:11:37,703 --> 00:11:40,080 Uh-uh-uh, watch and learn. 213 00:11:40,289 --> 00:11:42,624 Whoa, I seem to have lost my number. 214 00:11:42,791 --> 00:11:44,501 Can I borrow yours? 215 00:11:44,626 --> 00:11:47,629 You are a riot. 216 00:11:47,838 --> 00:11:48,922 What brings you here? 217 00:11:49,006 --> 00:11:52,050 We don't normally get men this handsome round these parts. 218 00:11:52,301 --> 00:11:54,636 Well, Darlene, 219 00:11:55,137 --> 00:11:58,181 between you and me, what I'm doing here is a little secret. 220 00:11:58,390 --> 00:12:00,976 Oh, you seem like a man with secrets. 221 00:12:03,603 --> 00:12:04,604 Ugh! 222 00:12:04,771 --> 00:12:06,189 You know, I'm going on a break. 223 00:12:06,273 --> 00:12:09,443 You wanna take the sky tram up to Widow's Peak? 224 00:12:09,609 --> 00:12:12,988 Take my advice or don't, but clearly, I know what I'm doing. 225 00:12:13,947 --> 00:12:16,116 Oh, fancy. 226 00:12:23,123 --> 00:12:25,459 Oh, I can't believe this is happening. 227 00:12:25,542 --> 00:12:26,668 A real date. 228 00:12:26,877 --> 00:12:28,420 I wonder what they'll name the baby. 229 00:12:28,545 --> 00:12:33,091 If I had a baby, I would name it Grenda 2: The Sequel. 230 00:12:33,425 --> 00:12:35,677 You would make such a good mother. 231 00:12:37,763 --> 00:12:39,806 This place is so enchanting. 232 00:12:39,931 --> 00:12:42,809 Sort of confused by the phrase "New Mummies Daily," though. 233 00:12:42,976 --> 00:12:44,256 I mean, how does that even work? 234 00:12:44,436 --> 00:12:46,313 This mountain is full of mysteries. 235 00:12:46,563 --> 00:12:49,858 Like, why is my head falling on your shoulder? 236 00:12:50,150 --> 00:12:51,818 Beeyooop. 237 00:12:52,110 --> 00:12:54,154 Uh, yep, this is what I want. 238 00:12:54,321 --> 00:12:56,239 This is all part of the plan and stuff. 239 00:12:56,323 --> 00:12:57,699 Oh, Dipper, hey. 240 00:12:58,325 --> 00:12:59,951 Corn Maze girl. 241 00:13:00,118 --> 00:13:01,995 I was wondering when you'd call. 242 00:13:02,079 --> 00:13:03,455 Dipper, who is this? 243 00:13:03,580 --> 00:13:05,832 Nobody. I mean, uh… somebody, but… 244 00:13:05,916 --> 00:13:07,000 Dipper! 245 00:13:07,584 --> 00:13:09,503 I didn't recognize you right-side up. 246 00:13:09,586 --> 00:13:11,922 You'll never guess where my mom gave birth. 247 00:13:12,005 --> 00:13:13,256 Hey, who are these girls? 248 00:13:13,340 --> 00:13:15,592 Dipper, why haven't you called? 249 00:13:15,675 --> 00:13:18,053 Did our romantic log ride mean nothing to you? 250 00:13:18,220 --> 00:13:19,346 I can't believe it. 251 00:13:19,429 --> 00:13:23,183 You agreed to go on a date with me, and you are seeing all these other girls? 252 00:13:23,266 --> 00:13:25,560 Well, answer us. Which one of us do you like? 253 00:13:25,811 --> 00:13:27,687 I… I like all of you. 254 00:13:27,813 --> 00:13:29,231 I mean, I don't like any of you. 255 00:13:29,439 --> 00:13:30,565 I mean… 256 00:13:30,649 --> 00:13:32,734 I was trying to learn how to talk to girls. 257 00:13:34,111 --> 00:13:35,946 - Unbelievable. - So gross. 258 00:13:36,029 --> 00:13:37,114 What a jerk. 259 00:13:38,156 --> 00:13:40,784 Dipper Pines, I thought you were a nice guy, 260 00:13:40,951 --> 00:13:43,161 but I guess you only care about yourself. 261 00:13:45,372 --> 00:13:46,998 Uh, Candy, wait. 262 00:13:47,124 --> 00:13:48,792 I messed everything up. 263 00:13:48,875 --> 00:13:51,044 I gotta find Stan. He'll know what to do. 264 00:13:52,170 --> 00:13:56,133 Oh, are you sure you wanna go this deep into the forest? 265 00:13:56,216 --> 00:13:57,843 It's so scary. 266 00:13:58,009 --> 00:13:59,302 Heh, don't worry, toots. 267 00:13:59,386 --> 00:14:01,805 That spider people stuff is just an urban legend. 268 00:14:01,930 --> 00:14:03,849 I can't believe people fall for it. 269 00:14:03,974 --> 00:14:05,308 You're so brave. 270 00:14:05,517 --> 00:14:07,519 What can I say? I'm a real catch. 271 00:14:07,686 --> 00:14:08,687 Yes. 272 00:14:09,896 --> 00:14:11,398 The catch of the day. 273 00:14:11,565 --> 00:14:13,900 Uh, I think your contacts fell out. 274 00:14:17,404 --> 00:14:20,115 Uh, have you seen an old guy around here? 275 00:14:20,323 --> 00:14:22,701 Big ears, orange nose, a real know-it-all. 276 00:14:23,743 --> 00:14:26,746 Uh, uh, uh! Flame Retardant Raccoon says, 277 00:14:26,872 --> 00:14:28,832 don't hug forest fires. 278 00:14:31,626 --> 00:14:34,379 Stan, where are you? I need your advice. 279 00:14:34,463 --> 00:14:36,631 Grunkle Stan? 280 00:14:36,798 --> 00:14:38,467 Hey, buddy boy. 281 00:14:38,550 --> 00:14:40,486 So remember how we were talking about my technique? 282 00:14:40,510 --> 00:14:43,096 Well, sometimes it leads to unexpected consequences. 283 00:14:43,180 --> 00:14:45,474 Yeah, you can say that again. Where are you? 284 00:14:45,682 --> 00:14:48,894 The good news is, I've solved the mystery of where Oregon's mummies come from. 285 00:14:48,977 --> 00:14:49,978 The bad news is… 286 00:14:50,145 --> 00:14:51,688 I'm about to become one. 287 00:14:52,189 --> 00:14:54,816 Turns out Darlene is one of those spider people. 288 00:14:55,025 --> 00:14:56,818 But beyond that, the date's been okay. 289 00:14:59,070 --> 00:15:02,324 Wait, wait, wait. Darlene's a spider person? 290 00:15:02,491 --> 00:15:03,909 How is that possible? 291 00:15:04,034 --> 00:15:06,536 I don't know. One minute, we're having a perfect date, 292 00:15:06,828 --> 00:15:08,872 and the next minute, she's growing extra legs 293 00:15:08,997 --> 00:15:11,416 and encasing me in webbing. Women, right? 294 00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:13,460 You couldn't tell she was a spider? 295 00:15:13,627 --> 00:15:15,170 I was blinded by flattery. 296 00:15:15,295 --> 00:15:17,506 Also, this acid she spit in my face. 297 00:15:17,631 --> 00:15:19,424 I'm up the mountain at Widow's Peak. 298 00:15:19,633 --> 00:15:21,801 All right, I'm gonna find you. Stay put! 299 00:15:23,386 --> 00:15:24,429 You got it. 300 00:15:25,805 --> 00:15:28,725 Uh-uh. Trying to escape? 301 00:15:30,227 --> 00:15:31,394 You tricked me. 302 00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:34,481 I'm 80% certain you don't really love me at all. 303 00:15:34,648 --> 00:15:36,942 Ha! Men will fall for anything. 304 00:15:37,025 --> 00:15:39,569 "You're so funny. Great story. 305 00:15:39,653 --> 00:15:42,155 I love a man with shoulder hair." 306 00:15:42,405 --> 00:15:45,242 You… you didn't mean it about my shoulder hair? 307 00:15:45,367 --> 00:15:49,538 Tell me, Stan, before I transformed, who'd you think was in charge? 308 00:15:49,621 --> 00:15:53,875 You, with your cheesy lines and fake confidence? 309 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,169 I'm the master pick-up artist here. 310 00:15:56,586 --> 00:15:57,921 Sorry, toots. 311 00:15:58,004 --> 00:16:01,132 This time, you're getting used for your body, 312 00:16:01,216 --> 00:16:03,510 which, to my weird species, is food. 313 00:16:03,677 --> 00:16:06,304 Allow me to slip into something more horrifying. 314 00:16:10,559 --> 00:16:12,227 I wonder what beverage pairs well 315 00:16:12,310 --> 00:16:14,813 with a vintage 70-something-year-old man. 316 00:16:15,021 --> 00:16:17,482 Be right back. 317 00:16:17,607 --> 00:16:19,568 Come on, Dipper, where are you? 318 00:16:20,527 --> 00:16:22,237 I feel like such a fool. 319 00:16:22,404 --> 00:16:25,240 I should have known to guard my heart in a cage of ice. 320 00:16:25,365 --> 00:16:29,202 There, there. Let my calming voice soothe you. 321 00:16:29,369 --> 00:16:30,620 It is helping. 322 00:16:30,996 --> 00:16:32,539 Girls, there you are. 323 00:16:32,622 --> 00:16:35,500 - Betrayer! - Oh, you. What do you want? 324 00:16:35,667 --> 00:16:38,878 - I need your help. - With what, some sick jealousy trip? 325 00:16:39,129 --> 00:16:41,548 - Yes, sing it, Candy! - Testify! 326 00:16:41,715 --> 00:16:45,176 Look, I'm so sorry about everything, but Stan's in trouble. 327 00:16:45,343 --> 00:16:48,138 You can totally kill me later, but right now, he needs us. 328 00:16:48,263 --> 00:16:49,389 I'll explain on the way. 329 00:16:57,397 --> 00:16:59,733 Please. I don't know if you're really up there or not, 330 00:16:59,816 --> 00:17:02,902 but if you are, please save me, Paul Bunyan. 331 00:17:03,028 --> 00:17:04,529 Mr. Pines! 332 00:17:04,613 --> 00:17:05,989 Whoa, did that really work? 333 00:17:10,201 --> 00:17:12,829 Quick, before the rest of the venom sets in. 334 00:17:14,998 --> 00:17:17,167 No! Where are you? 335 00:17:19,461 --> 00:17:22,464 The sky tram, everybody on. I have a plan. 336 00:17:23,340 --> 00:17:25,008 - Yes! - Perfect! 337 00:17:25,467 --> 00:17:27,677 Ride like the wind, sky tram. 338 00:17:30,430 --> 00:17:33,642 Welcome to Trambience, the world's slowest treetop tram ride. 339 00:17:33,725 --> 00:17:37,020 Enjoy the sights at 0.1 miles per hour. 340 00:17:37,270 --> 00:17:39,356 Move, move, move! 341 00:17:39,439 --> 00:17:41,274 Ah, can't this thing go any faster? 342 00:17:41,399 --> 00:17:43,652 No, it can't. This is Trambience. 343 00:17:53,662 --> 00:17:55,747 Enjoying the view? Take a picture. 344 00:18:01,670 --> 00:18:03,672 - We're doomed! - We're all gonna die! 345 00:18:06,424 --> 00:18:07,509 Listen carefully. 346 00:18:07,634 --> 00:18:10,136 This sky tram has an emergency drop switch. 347 00:18:10,345 --> 00:18:13,139 Below us is Oregon's largest Paul Bunyan statue. 348 00:18:13,264 --> 00:18:16,768 And Old Reliable goes off in five, four… 349 00:18:16,935 --> 00:18:18,812 Candy, wait! Don't pull that lever. 350 00:18:18,937 --> 00:18:20,355 Kid, are you crazy? 351 00:18:20,522 --> 00:18:21,648 Now! 352 00:18:43,294 --> 00:18:46,840 My only weakness, a giant boot! 353 00:18:47,090 --> 00:18:50,427 A giant newspaper or a giant cup would also have been pretty bad. 354 00:18:51,928 --> 00:18:54,180 Thank you for riding Trambience sky tram. 355 00:18:54,264 --> 00:18:56,725 Tell your friends it was a boring, boring ride. 356 00:18:56,975 --> 00:18:58,435 Kid, that was ingenious! 357 00:18:58,560 --> 00:18:59,978 How'd you know that would work? 358 00:19:00,103 --> 00:19:01,938 Useless travel pamphlets. 359 00:19:03,481 --> 00:19:05,567 Stanley. 360 00:19:07,193 --> 00:19:09,696 I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. 361 00:19:09,779 --> 00:19:11,906 You'll let me out, right? 362 00:19:12,157 --> 00:19:13,491 What? After all that? 363 00:19:13,700 --> 00:19:15,785 Seriously, do I look like an amnesiac? 364 00:19:15,910 --> 00:19:19,289 You're so funny. 365 00:19:19,539 --> 00:19:22,292 Have you ever considered becoming a comedian? 366 00:19:23,251 --> 00:19:24,753 You know, I actually have. 367 00:19:24,961 --> 00:19:26,963 Comedy is too subtle these days. 368 00:19:27,297 --> 00:19:29,549 My style involves more over-sized props. 369 00:19:29,674 --> 00:19:31,509 - Here, let me get you out… - Stan, no! 370 00:19:31,885 --> 00:19:33,762 Oh, yeah, right. 371 00:19:33,887 --> 00:19:36,639 You win this round, Stan, but mark my words. 372 00:19:36,848 --> 00:19:40,935 As long as there's men like you out there, with their dumb one-liners, 373 00:19:41,019 --> 00:19:43,813 and pick-up moves, I'll never run out of prey. 374 00:19:44,314 --> 00:19:47,233 Get in the car, get in the car! 375 00:20:03,792 --> 00:20:05,960 All right, kid, I gotta admit something. 376 00:20:06,127 --> 00:20:07,796 I'm no expert on women. 377 00:20:08,004 --> 00:20:09,672 Truth is, I've been divorced once, 378 00:20:09,756 --> 00:20:11,716 and slapped more times than I can remember. 379 00:20:11,883 --> 00:20:14,427 Confidence can buy you a lot, but at the end of the day, 380 00:20:14,511 --> 00:20:16,846 pick-up artists tend to get our heads bitten off. 381 00:20:17,222 --> 00:20:19,182 When it comes to women, I'm a failure. 382 00:20:19,766 --> 00:20:21,601 Hey, we're both failures. 383 00:20:23,019 --> 00:20:25,814 You know, even if your dating tips were bad, 384 00:20:25,939 --> 00:20:28,358 I actually haven't thought about Wendy all day. 385 00:20:28,483 --> 00:20:30,735 Plus, you did teach me to be more confident. 386 00:20:30,860 --> 00:20:33,196 I guess I just need to learn to use that power for good. 387 00:20:36,825 --> 00:20:39,911 Hey, I found a pamphlet I don't think you've read yet. 388 00:20:45,208 --> 00:20:46,376 It's okay, Dipper. 389 00:20:46,459 --> 00:20:49,337 The open road makes people do crazy things. 390 00:20:49,420 --> 00:20:52,549 Plus, after seeing you flee the spider like a baby, 391 00:20:52,674 --> 00:20:54,342 I kind of lost interest. 392 00:20:54,467 --> 00:20:56,886 Yep, yep. I deserve that. 393 00:21:01,015 --> 00:21:03,560 I still feel a little bad about wrecking those tourist traps. 394 00:21:03,726 --> 00:21:05,728 Ah, come on. Everyone loves my pranks. 395 00:21:05,854 --> 00:21:09,899 And the best part is, I never have to face any consequen… Sweet Lord! 396 00:21:11,568 --> 00:21:13,361 Ah, come on! 397 00:21:18,283 --> 00:21:20,243 That's what you get! That's what you get! 398 00:21:23,204 --> 00:21:24,205 I don't understand. 399 00:21:24,372 --> 00:21:26,916 I completely don't deserve this. 400 00:21:27,166 --> 00:21:29,669 Oh, man, are we gonna have to help clean this up? 401 00:21:29,752 --> 00:21:31,838 Nah, I'm sure Soos will take care of it. 402 00:21:32,088 --> 00:21:33,840 Where is Soos anyway? 403 00:21:38,511 --> 00:21:41,389 Okay, Soos, remember what your grandma taught you. 404 00:21:41,514 --> 00:21:43,850 When you get lost, stay exactly where you are, 405 00:21:43,933 --> 00:21:45,602 and don't move. 406 00:21:50,273 --> 00:21:52,525 Don't move. 407 00:21:58,656 --> 00:22:00,783 You know, I would make a really good scarecrow.