1 00:00:53,555 --> 00:00:56,474 Oh, my God. Look at this. 2 00:01:01,729 --> 00:01:04,399 Sh... she has risen! 3 00:01:04,482 --> 00:01:06,734 No, no! 4 00:01:06,818 --> 00:01:08,319 I was never dead. 5 00:01:08,361 --> 00:01:10,154 TMZ got a bad tip. 6 00:01:10,196 --> 00:01:12,240 They issued a retraction this morning. 7 00:01:12,323 --> 00:01:13,968 But they said they carried your body off a boat 8 00:01:13,992 --> 00:01:15,302 in Singapore, and you didn't make it. 9 00:01:15,326 --> 00:01:16,828 What? 10 00:01:16,869 --> 00:01:19,038 They said they carried your body 11 00:01:19,122 --> 00:01:22,125 off a boat in Singapore, and you didn't make it. 12 00:01:22,208 --> 00:01:23,626 No, yeah. 13 00:01:23,668 --> 00:01:27,005 No, no, no, I didn't make it to the hospital. 14 00:01:27,088 --> 00:01:29,048 I came to in the ambulance. 15 00:01:29,132 --> 00:01:31,175 I had them reroute me to my hotel. 16 00:01:31,217 --> 00:01:34,762 - Oh, hallelujah. - Thank You, Jesus. 17 00:01:34,846 --> 00:01:36,031 We didn't want to believe it, 18 00:01:36,055 --> 00:01:37,515 but it made sense because of your... 19 00:01:37,557 --> 00:01:41,019 you know, your, um... your... your breakdown. 20 00:01:41,102 --> 00:01:42,604 My breakdown? 21 00:01:42,687 --> 00:01:44,188 Yeah, at "Late Night." 22 00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:48,860 It was all over the news that you went cuckoo. 23 00:01:53,448 --> 00:01:55,033 Deborah Vance is alive! 24 00:01:55,116 --> 00:01:57,243 Yes! Oh, yes! 25 00:02:10,214 --> 00:02:13,134 Motherfuckers! 26 00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:15,219 These headlines are horrible. 27 00:02:15,303 --> 00:02:17,055 "How Deborah Vance lost her way 28 00:02:17,138 --> 00:02:19,182 and lost 'Late Night' in the process." 29 00:02:19,265 --> 00:02:20,850 Oh, "Diva down. 30 00:02:20,933 --> 00:02:22,935 "Talk show host's bizarre behavior 31 00:02:23,019 --> 00:02:24,896 raises serious concerns." 32 00:02:24,937 --> 00:02:26,439 Ever since you went to Singapore, 33 00:02:26,522 --> 00:02:28,524 Bob Lipka has been smearing you in the press. 34 00:02:28,608 --> 00:02:30,735 But I defended you in all the comments 35 00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:33,363 with my burner... @JoyceGoldblattChang. 36 00:02:33,446 --> 00:02:34,572 Oh, my God. 37 00:02:34,614 --> 00:02:36,157 "Deborah Vance's on-air break... 38 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,242 why they cut the feed before her meltdown." 39 00:02:38,284 --> 00:02:39,494 - What? - That's a bad one. 40 00:02:39,577 --> 00:02:41,377 Oh, "Once an arsonist, always an arsonist... 41 00:02:41,412 --> 00:02:43,498 Deborah Vance burns down 'Late Night.'" 42 00:02:43,581 --> 00:02:45,750 God, I knew that social-media detox 43 00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,543 was gonna bite me in the ass. 44 00:02:47,585 --> 00:02:50,088 First I was tagged in some very unflattering photos. 45 00:02:50,171 --> 00:02:51,589 Now this? 46 00:02:51,631 --> 00:02:53,049 There are hundreds of these. 47 00:02:53,132 --> 00:02:54,610 Where are all the articles calling me 48 00:02:54,634 --> 00:02:55,927 a free-speech warrior? 49 00:02:55,968 --> 00:02:57,446 Well, there were some positive ones, 50 00:02:57,470 --> 00:02:58,763 but they've been buried. 51 00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:00,765 Of course, 'cause that bastard owns 52 00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:02,600 - almost every news outlet. - Oh, my God. 53 00:03:02,642 --> 00:03:04,185 I think we've all read the stories. 54 00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:05,269 Speaking of. 55 00:03:05,311 --> 00:03:07,063 And, yeah, it's tragic. 56 00:03:07,146 --> 00:03:09,066 Of course, I wish Deborah had spoken to us first, 57 00:03:09,107 --> 00:03:10,775 but, hey, it is a tough gig. 58 00:03:10,817 --> 00:03:12,068 Oh. 59 00:03:12,151 --> 00:03:14,070 Not everyone's built for it. 60 00:03:14,153 --> 00:03:15,738 We all just hope she gets well. 61 00:03:15,822 --> 00:03:17,198 - "Gets well"? - "Gets well"? 62 00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:19,617 "Gets well"? 63 00:03:19,659 --> 00:03:21,619 No wonder the obituary was so bad. 64 00:03:21,661 --> 00:03:23,621 They needed someone to blame, so they blame me, 65 00:03:23,663 --> 00:03:25,123 the crazy lady. 66 00:03:25,164 --> 00:03:27,625 It's the fucking house fire all over again. 67 00:03:27,667 --> 00:03:29,419 We need to sue, okay? 68 00:03:29,502 --> 00:03:31,480 And we need to get these websites to issue a retraction. 69 00:03:31,504 --> 00:03:33,631 - I don't think that's gonna... - No. 70 00:03:33,673 --> 00:03:36,050 - Damage is already done. - Fuck. 71 00:03:36,134 --> 00:03:38,094 We need to shift the narrative 72 00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:40,304 with something bigger than all of this. 73 00:03:40,388 --> 00:03:42,098 Like what? 74 00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:43,808 I'll figure something out. 75 00:03:50,273 --> 00:03:53,484 So how you guys been? Good. 76 00:03:56,279 --> 00:03:58,340 I think we should do a couples costume for Halloween. 77 00:03:58,364 --> 00:03:59,657 Well, what are you thinking? 78 00:03:59,699 --> 00:04:01,367 - Bart and Lisa or... - Knock, knock. 79 00:04:01,451 --> 00:04:02,618 Hey. 80 00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:04,996 - May I? - Sure. 81 00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:08,666 Regret to inform you... 82 00:04:08,750 --> 00:04:10,668 that Jeff Dunham is signing elsewhere. 83 00:04:10,752 --> 00:04:12,336 - Ugh. - Fuck! 84 00:04:12,378 --> 00:04:13,963 But the meeting went so well. 85 00:04:14,046 --> 00:04:15,691 I even got along with his stupid-ass puppet. 86 00:04:15,715 --> 00:04:17,401 All of our meetings go well, and then they find out 87 00:04:17,425 --> 00:04:19,153 we can't do business with Bob Lipka's companies, 88 00:04:19,177 --> 00:04:20,344 and they ghost us. 89 00:04:20,428 --> 00:04:22,221 Well, it doesn't help that our client list 90 00:04:22,305 --> 00:04:23,905 is older, female, and losing bone density 91 00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,183 by the minute, Jimmy. 92 00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:26,851 You don't have to tell me twice. 93 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,895 We lost two clients to bad falls this month alone. 94 00:04:28,978 --> 00:04:31,355 It's sad, and I don't want to visit the hospital again. 95 00:04:31,397 --> 00:04:32,982 Parking is a nightmare. 96 00:04:33,024 --> 00:04:36,694 I didn't want to tell you this, but we lost Lassie. 97 00:04:36,736 --> 00:04:38,446 The dog signed somewhere else? 98 00:04:38,529 --> 00:04:40,490 No, I mean, we literally lost her. 99 00:04:40,573 --> 00:04:42,950 She ran away. And she's not fixed, Jimmy. 100 00:04:43,034 --> 00:04:44,720 She's probably taking loads from every pittie from here 101 00:04:44,744 --> 00:04:46,204 to Santa Clarita, that stupid whore. 102 00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:47,890 All right, look, I know this isn't popular. 103 00:04:47,914 --> 00:04:49,290 No one's gonna want to hear this, 104 00:04:49,373 --> 00:04:51,173 but I think we should revisit the conversation 105 00:04:51,209 --> 00:04:54,545 - about downsizing this office. - No. We're not downsizing. 106 00:04:54,587 --> 00:04:57,048 Don't make me say that again. 107 00:04:57,089 --> 00:04:59,091 Kayla, the office, the rent, the phones, 108 00:04:59,175 --> 00:05:01,385 the insurance... it costs $30,000 a month to be here. 109 00:05:01,469 --> 00:05:02,762 - It's worth it. - Mm-hmm. 110 00:05:02,845 --> 00:05:04,847 We're projecting success to the industry. 111 00:05:04,889 --> 00:05:06,784 I mean, there's already nasty gossip going around 112 00:05:06,808 --> 00:05:08,702 about us ever since you beat the shit out of Bob Lipka. 113 00:05:08,726 --> 00:05:10,311 I didn't beat the shit out of him. 114 00:05:10,394 --> 00:05:12,146 I just knocked his phone out of his hand. 115 00:05:12,230 --> 00:05:13,397 We had a little scuffle. 116 00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:15,858 The assistant Slack is still abuzz, boss... not good. 117 00:05:15,942 --> 00:05:18,402 If we move now, it's a death knell. 118 00:05:18,486 --> 00:05:21,072 Okay, fine. 119 00:05:21,113 --> 00:05:22,323 It's Damien. 120 00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:24,635 He says Deborah wants to have lunch in Vegas this afternoon. 121 00:05:24,659 --> 00:05:26,410 Oh, my God, the last-minute flights 122 00:05:26,494 --> 00:05:28,347 are gonna be so expensive... this is what I'm talking about. 123 00:05:28,371 --> 00:05:30,122 Do you know what's free? Your BMW... 124 00:05:30,206 --> 00:05:32,458 which I just had vacuumed, it's spotless. 125 00:05:32,542 --> 00:05:34,210 You could eat an omakase off the dash. 126 00:05:34,293 --> 00:05:35,979 Sure, but if we're gonna drive and be there by lunch, 127 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,547 - we've got to go now. - Road trip. 128 00:05:37,630 --> 00:05:39,924 I'll drive. Don't worry. I just got my license. 129 00:05:39,966 --> 00:05:41,759 - "Just"? - Shotgun. 130 00:05:41,801 --> 00:05:43,928 Okay, I guess I'll sit in the back of my own car? 131 00:05:50,810 --> 00:05:53,729 Wake up! 132 00:05:53,813 --> 00:05:55,439 I figured it out. 133 00:05:55,481 --> 00:05:57,817 What time is it? Actually, what day is it? 134 00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,318 Every obituary leads 135 00:05:59,402 --> 00:06:01,988 with a person's greatest achievement or failure. 136 00:06:02,071 --> 00:06:04,824 That's why I need a win, a legacy-defining win 137 00:06:04,907 --> 00:06:07,118 - that they cannot spin! - Okay. 138 00:06:07,159 --> 00:06:09,453 I refuse to be remembered on other people's terms... 139 00:06:09,495 --> 00:06:11,956 as a quitter or the person who killed "Late Night" 140 00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:13,791 or some hysterical woman. 141 00:06:13,875 --> 00:06:16,627 I have worked too hard, and I have fought far too long. 142 00:06:16,711 --> 00:06:19,130 I will be remembered for my accomplishments. 143 00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:20,423 Yes. 144 00:06:20,506 --> 00:06:23,593 So I have decided to EGOT. 145 00:06:25,636 --> 00:06:28,514 - Uh, EGOT? - Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony. 146 00:06:28,598 --> 00:06:30,474 No, I know. Well, actually, I didn't. 147 00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:33,811 I thought the G was for Golden Globe, but I love that. 148 00:06:33,895 --> 00:06:36,147 - I love that. - Oh. Oh, good. 149 00:06:36,188 --> 00:06:38,190 I kind of assumed you'd think it was crazy. 150 00:06:38,274 --> 00:06:41,319 No. I think... I think it'd be crazy if you did not do that. 151 00:06:41,402 --> 00:06:42,987 - Right? Great. - Yeah. 152 00:06:43,029 --> 00:06:45,048 Come on, get up... we're having lunch with the team. 153 00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:46,616 - Now! - Lunch? 154 00:06:46,699 --> 00:06:49,243 I'm still on Singapore Standard Time. 155 00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:53,289 A midnight snack could be good. 156 00:07:05,718 --> 00:07:07,637 That's right, it's me. I'm alive. 157 00:07:07,678 --> 00:07:11,182 It's hard, but it's worth it. 158 00:07:11,223 --> 00:07:13,601 I mean, I know EGOT is ambitious, 159 00:07:13,684 --> 00:07:15,144 but I'm already halfway there. 160 00:07:15,186 --> 00:07:17,438 I have a Daytime Emmy for hosting "Bagongle." 161 00:07:17,521 --> 00:07:19,273 - Yes. Oh, my God. - "Bagongle." 162 00:07:19,357 --> 00:07:20,691 - Yeah. - Wait, what? 163 00:07:20,775 --> 00:07:22,443 Oh, "Bagongle" was a game show 164 00:07:22,526 --> 00:07:24,320 on the USA Network in 1992, 165 00:07:24,362 --> 00:07:27,365 where celebrities played Boggle on a constantly shaking floor. 166 00:07:27,406 --> 00:07:28,699 So funny. 167 00:07:28,783 --> 00:07:30,701 And I already have my Tony for producing. 168 00:07:30,743 --> 00:07:32,745 In a post-coital haze, Eric Idle convinced me 169 00:07:32,828 --> 00:07:34,705 to put some money into "Spamalot." 170 00:07:34,747 --> 00:07:37,667 Anyway, I already have my T and my E. 171 00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:41,045 So now I need you to get me my O. 172 00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:42,588 Oh. 173 00:07:42,672 --> 00:07:45,466 - O is for Oscar. - No, I know what O stands for. 174 00:07:45,549 --> 00:07:47,218 I just meant, oh, like a reaction. 175 00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:49,053 - Oh, that's crazy. - Yeah, wow. 176 00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:51,198 Um, anyway, Deborah, I'm gonna have to review your contract, 177 00:07:51,222 --> 00:07:53,391 because I have to see what you can even do legally. 178 00:07:53,474 --> 00:07:56,644 Boss man, permission to speak. 179 00:07:56,727 --> 00:07:58,062 Sure. 180 00:07:58,104 --> 00:07:59,915 Now, the network paid out Deborah's contract, 181 00:07:59,939 --> 00:08:01,750 and they did it all through her exclusivity clause, 182 00:08:01,774 --> 00:08:03,067 not the noncompete. 183 00:08:03,109 --> 00:08:05,087 Technically, she can't do anything scripted or paid... 184 00:08:05,111 --> 00:08:06,696 TV, film, no new media. 185 00:08:06,737 --> 00:08:09,699 They control her socials, no live public performances. 186 00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:12,660 And the contract specifies Florida law governs. 187 00:08:12,743 --> 00:08:14,495 And because Deborah already signed 188 00:08:14,578 --> 00:08:16,765 her injunctive relief clause, if she violates the contract, 189 00:08:16,789 --> 00:08:19,709 they can come at her with a restraining order or worse. 190 00:08:19,792 --> 00:08:22,044 - You memorized all that? - Inadvertently. 191 00:08:22,086 --> 00:08:24,588 I mean, someone recently told me they thought I was autistic. 192 00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:27,091 - That was me this morning. - Oh, yeah. 193 00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:29,844 Anyway, she can technically still film something now, 194 00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:32,596 as long as it's not released until the noncompete is over. 195 00:08:32,638 --> 00:08:34,098 I like this young man. 196 00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:35,433 Thing about an Oscar... 197 00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:37,476 No, Jimmy, it's not that difficult. 198 00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:38,811 I mean, award voters 199 00:08:38,894 --> 00:08:40,730 love it when funny people go dead serious. 200 00:08:40,813 --> 00:08:41,731 Yes. 201 00:08:41,814 --> 00:08:43,649 Just find me my Mo'Nique moment. 202 00:08:43,733 --> 00:08:45,794 - Well, I can set you up... - Oh, now, on to the Grammys. 203 00:08:45,818 --> 00:08:47,319 Tragically, I have been nominated 204 00:08:47,403 --> 00:08:48,946 for my stand-up records seven times. 205 00:08:48,988 --> 00:08:50,489 - I have never won. - "Seven"? 206 00:08:50,573 --> 00:08:51,949 - I think it was seven. - Mm-hmm. 207 00:08:51,991 --> 00:08:53,325 "Not a Vance in Hell," 208 00:08:53,409 --> 00:08:55,244 "Under The Knife, Over The Drama," 209 00:08:55,286 --> 00:08:58,622 "Live at the Mall of America," "The Olestra Diaries," 210 00:08:58,664 --> 00:09:01,167 "Live Free or Diet," "The Deb Commandments," 211 00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:03,794 and "The Best Things in Life Are at Sears: 212 00:09:03,878 --> 00:09:05,588 Deborah Vance Live Sponsored by Sears." 213 00:09:05,671 --> 00:09:07,423 - So, yeah, seven. - Robbed. 214 00:09:07,506 --> 00:09:09,258 Now, I know I can't do stand-up right now, 215 00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:10,968 so I'm taking a different route. 216 00:09:11,010 --> 00:09:13,304 I'm gonna compete in the Best Audiobook category 217 00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:14,889 by recording my memoir. 218 00:09:14,972 --> 00:09:16,474 You wrote a memoir? That's great. 219 00:09:16,515 --> 00:09:18,768 Well, no, not yet, but I happen to know 220 00:09:18,851 --> 00:09:21,270 the best writer in the world. 221 00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:23,064 - Aw. - Tony Kushner. 222 00:09:23,147 --> 00:09:25,232 Hey, what about me? 223 00:09:25,316 --> 00:09:28,110 You can't write my memoir. You're too obsessed with me. 224 00:09:28,194 --> 00:09:29,445 It's cool. 225 00:09:29,528 --> 00:09:31,155 I gave up on developing my prose skills 226 00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:32,990 when I realized Gen Alpha can't read. 227 00:09:33,074 --> 00:09:34,784 All right, everybody, let's go. 228 00:09:34,867 --> 00:09:37,495 G-O stands for Grammy, Oscar. 229 00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:39,789 - Yeah. - I'm not scared. 230 00:09:39,872 --> 00:09:43,793 - A Grammy and an Oscar? Ava... - No, I know, okay? 231 00:09:43,876 --> 00:09:46,170 But you don't understand how bad it got in Singapore. 232 00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:48,547 She was sleeping all day. She was drinking till noon. 233 00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:50,800 Jimmy, she wore Crocs in public. 234 00:09:50,883 --> 00:09:53,552 - Did the Crocs have a heel? - No. 235 00:09:53,636 --> 00:09:55,554 But she keeps her heels on during surgery. 236 00:09:55,638 --> 00:09:57,807 Yeah, so that's why, whatever she wants to do, 237 00:09:57,890 --> 00:10:00,392 - we need to get on board, okay? - Okay. 238 00:10:00,476 --> 00:10:02,019 Yeah. A-and you know what? 239 00:10:02,061 --> 00:10:03,741 I guess she has done crazier things, right? 240 00:10:03,813 --> 00:10:05,189 Yes, of course. 241 00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:07,817 She can do anything. We can do anything. 242 00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:10,194 Speaking of which, I need you to write and sell 243 00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:13,030 a huge international hit that has potential for sequels. 244 00:10:13,072 --> 00:10:14,782 - Can you do that? - I... 245 00:10:14,865 --> 00:10:16,885 Look, I would... I would never normally pressure a client 246 00:10:16,909 --> 00:10:19,036 to help our firm financially, but... 247 00:10:19,078 --> 00:10:20,454 we really need it. 248 00:10:20,538 --> 00:10:22,832 We've had a tough few months. 249 00:10:22,915 --> 00:10:24,834 Jimmy, she gave up the show for me. 250 00:10:24,917 --> 00:10:26,627 You know, I have to stay and help her. 251 00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:28,838 - I'm sorry. I... - No, no, no, I get that. 252 00:10:28,921 --> 00:10:31,048 Actually, I did finish my "Mall Girl" script 253 00:10:31,090 --> 00:10:32,675 in Singapore... I could send you that. 254 00:10:32,758 --> 00:10:34,218 Amazing. Okay, great. 255 00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:37,054 You send that to me, and, um, I guess... 256 00:10:37,096 --> 00:10:39,723 I'll go get Deborah an Academy Award. 257 00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:41,058 Perfect. 258 00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:42,434 Great to see you. 259 00:10:47,940 --> 00:10:51,068 Mr. Kushner, um, I just want to say 260 00:10:51,110 --> 00:10:52,695 it... it's such an honor 261 00:10:52,778 --> 00:10:54,864 to observe the writing process of one of my heroes. 262 00:10:54,905 --> 00:10:57,908 I mean, "Angels in America" was just so formative for me. 263 00:10:57,950 --> 00:10:59,201 Oh, that's sweet. 264 00:10:59,285 --> 00:11:01,620 She's just shadowing, so feel free to ignore her. 265 00:11:01,704 --> 00:11:03,914 - I often do. - Oh. 266 00:11:03,998 --> 00:11:06,041 So, Tony, where do we start? 267 00:11:06,125 --> 00:11:07,918 I'm thinking a chapter a day, 15 chapters, 268 00:11:08,002 --> 00:11:11,088 we should be able to wrap this up in two weeks, easy. 269 00:11:11,130 --> 00:11:13,674 Uh, we're gonna need far longer than that. 270 00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:16,719 I really believe in an immersive process. 271 00:11:16,802 --> 00:11:19,096 Oh. Okay. 272 00:11:19,138 --> 00:11:21,098 Well, I don't... I don't tend to love 273 00:11:21,140 --> 00:11:26,020 those whiny childhood parts of most celebrity memoirs. 274 00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:28,022 But then again, I was a very strong child. 275 00:11:28,105 --> 00:11:30,274 I held up my own head at three months old... 276 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,901 my little blonde head. 277 00:11:31,984 --> 00:11:33,527 - Oh, wow. - I know. 278 00:11:33,611 --> 00:11:35,779 Oh, that would make a great opening sentence. 279 00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:38,240 Quote... "I was born blonde." 280 00:11:38,324 --> 00:11:42,077 I actually want to start way before that. 281 00:11:42,161 --> 00:11:44,496 Since your people descend from Scotland, 282 00:11:44,580 --> 00:11:47,291 I've been reading "The Lion in the North: 283 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:50,461 One Thousand Years of Scotland's History." 284 00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:53,339 Did you know that your eighth great-grandfather 285 00:11:53,422 --> 00:11:57,468 was a prominent figure in the Battle of Glen Fruin? 286 00:11:57,509 --> 00:11:58,802 I didn't. 287 00:11:58,844 --> 00:12:00,346 It's really fascinating stuff. 288 00:12:00,429 --> 00:12:02,181 It starts with the MacGregor clan. 289 00:12:02,264 --> 00:12:04,767 They were in a feud with the Coughlin clan 290 00:12:04,850 --> 00:12:06,644 over cattle thefts and land thefts. 291 00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:08,580 This is, like, at the beginning of the 17th century, 292 00:12:08,604 --> 00:12:11,148 when James VI, who was a big homo, 293 00:12:11,190 --> 00:12:14,151 moved to England to become James I. 294 00:12:14,193 --> 00:12:16,278 And it was the start of the Jacobian era 295 00:12:16,362 --> 00:12:18,322 and the translation of the King James Bible... 296 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:24,078 Thank you. 297 00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:26,455 Okay, what if Deborah produces a documentary short? 298 00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:28,249 That's got to be an easy category, right? 299 00:12:28,332 --> 00:12:29,917 There's no way Deborah's 300 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,502 getting into that category this year. 301 00:12:31,543 --> 00:12:33,295 I mean, do you see how many ongoing wars 302 00:12:33,337 --> 00:12:34,838 we have going on right now? 303 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:37,758 There's at least a nominee coming out of each. 304 00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:40,636 Unless Deborah wants to drag a film crew through the Congo, 305 00:12:40,719 --> 00:12:42,179 it's not happening. 306 00:12:42,221 --> 00:12:44,181 - God, this is impossible. - It is. 307 00:12:44,223 --> 00:12:46,201 Is it, though? Because correct me if I'm wrong... 308 00:12:46,225 --> 00:12:48,185 there already is a movie with early Oscar buzz 309 00:12:48,227 --> 00:12:49,728 that Deborah has a connection to. 310 00:12:49,812 --> 00:12:50,896 Which one? 311 00:12:50,980 --> 00:12:52,898 The Fatty Arbuckle movie, Jimmy. 312 00:12:52,982 --> 00:12:54,483 The one you're producing. Hello? 313 00:12:54,566 --> 00:12:56,860 Hi, yeah, no, that's the only project we have 314 00:12:56,944 --> 00:12:58,904 without Deborah or a rabid dog attached. 315 00:12:58,988 --> 00:13:00,698 Absolutely not. No. 316 00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:02,700 And dare I say, I'm proud of my work on it. 317 00:13:02,741 --> 00:13:05,160 - Thank you very much. - It's an award-season dream. 318 00:13:05,244 --> 00:13:06,912 I mean, it's a biopic. 319 00:13:06,996 --> 00:13:09,206 It's got famous actors playing against type. 320 00:13:09,248 --> 00:13:10,642 It's a period piece. It's got everything. 321 00:13:10,666 --> 00:13:12,167 She just needs a small part. 322 00:13:12,251 --> 00:13:13,711 Do you know that Beatrice Straight 323 00:13:13,752 --> 00:13:15,296 won the Oscar for "Network," 324 00:13:15,379 --> 00:13:17,232 despite having only five minutes of screen time? 325 00:13:17,256 --> 00:13:19,049 - Five minutes. - I didn't know that. 326 00:13:19,091 --> 00:13:20,551 Had no idea. But it doesn't matter. 327 00:13:20,592 --> 00:13:22,052 We're already finished shooting. 328 00:13:22,136 --> 00:13:23,571 - Don't we have to do reshoots? - Mm! 329 00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:25,142 No, we are doing additional photography. 330 00:13:25,166 --> 00:13:26,198 - Reshoots. - Great! 331 00:13:26,223 --> 00:13:27,703 We are doing additional photography. 332 00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:29,577 It is different than a reshoot. Different thing. 333 00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:31,395 Christopher Plummer was nominated 334 00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:33,748 for a performance done entirely within additional photography. 335 00:13:33,772 --> 00:13:35,065 Thank you. 336 00:13:35,107 --> 00:13:36,984 Wow, how do you know all this stuff? 337 00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:38,878 Once I started learning about Hollywood, I couldn't stop. 338 00:13:38,902 --> 00:13:41,739 Such a fascinating mix of culture and business 339 00:13:41,822 --> 00:13:43,240 and art and history. 340 00:13:43,282 --> 00:13:45,034 It's America. 341 00:13:45,117 --> 00:13:47,244 I mean, maybe if she was Australian, I could see it. 342 00:13:47,286 --> 00:13:48,412 Mm. 343 00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:51,040 But, no, look, the Arbuckle movie 344 00:13:51,123 --> 00:13:53,043 is the only thing that's going well for our firm. 345 00:13:53,125 --> 00:13:55,753 - I can't mess it up. - All right, whatever you say. 346 00:13:55,794 --> 00:13:58,047 Maybe she could learn sound mixing 347 00:13:58,130 --> 00:14:00,424 and rise to the top of her field in the next two weeks? 348 00:14:00,466 --> 00:14:02,551 The worst idea I've ever heard. 349 00:14:02,593 --> 00:14:04,303 Hey, there are no bad ideas, but... 350 00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:06,805 No, it's okay. I probably shouldn't have said anything. 351 00:14:06,889 --> 00:14:09,058 - Mm. - Fuck! 352 00:14:09,141 --> 00:14:11,268 You got to be more sensitive to her, okay? 353 00:14:11,310 --> 00:14:12,895 Kayla. Kayla, honey, it's okay. 354 00:14:12,978 --> 00:14:14,956 You know what? There are no bad ideas in a brainstorm. 355 00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:16,774 And it's really hard to get an Oscar. 356 00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:27,534 Okay, so today let's start with high school. 357 00:14:27,618 --> 00:14:29,578 I was gorgeous, smart, and popular. 358 00:14:29,620 --> 00:14:32,081 College, same. Now, that's when Frank came in. 359 00:14:32,122 --> 00:14:36,377 Before we get into that, let me just play you something. 360 00:14:36,460 --> 00:14:39,713 And I stood there shivering in my pajamas. 361 00:14:39,797 --> 00:14:41,465 I think this is the soundtrack 362 00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:43,550 for the first chapter of the book. 363 00:14:43,634 --> 00:14:45,320 And when it was all over, I said to myself... 364 00:14:45,344 --> 00:14:46,762 Books don't have soundtracks. 365 00:14:46,845 --> 00:14:48,806 No, the soundtrack I'll listen to 366 00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:50,682 while I write that section of your life. 367 00:14:50,766 --> 00:14:54,186 Oh, my God, that is such a cool way to do it. 368 00:14:54,269 --> 00:14:56,814 God, when I write, I just change out of my sleep pajamas 369 00:14:56,897 --> 00:14:59,858 to my daytime pajamas. 370 00:14:59,942 --> 00:15:04,655 Maybe close your eyes to really feel it? 371 00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:06,031 I-I-I don't know. 372 00:15:06,115 --> 00:15:07,783 I have a Pulitzer. 373 00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:10,702 Uh, mm. 374 00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:14,498 Ooh, wow. 375 00:15:14,540 --> 00:15:15,958 This does feel good. 376 00:15:16,041 --> 00:15:18,627 Right? She gets it. 377 00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:25,843 Oh, I love this song. 378 00:15:25,884 --> 00:15:27,344 Hi, Tony. 379 00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:49,032 Oh, Fatty, I can't be alone. 380 00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:51,827 I wish I could hold you just one more time. 381 00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:58,542 I can't believe I'm saying this, 382 00:15:58,584 --> 00:16:00,270 but Deborah actually would be better for this part. 383 00:16:00,294 --> 00:16:01,920 Uh, yeah, anybody would. 384 00:16:02,004 --> 00:16:04,173 - Let's cut. - Cutting. 385 00:16:04,214 --> 00:16:06,383 I'm sorry, guys, I'm... I'm really having trouble 386 00:16:06,425 --> 00:16:08,093 accessing the emotions today. 387 00:16:08,177 --> 00:16:10,512 No, no, no, darling, you're doing fantastic. 388 00:16:10,596 --> 00:16:11,930 We love it. 389 00:16:12,014 --> 00:16:14,391 I hate it. She's so bad. 390 00:16:14,475 --> 00:16:16,226 Yeah, she's been horrible all day. 391 00:16:16,268 --> 00:16:17,936 Do you think that maybe she'd be better 392 00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:20,189 if we put peanut butter on the roof of her mouth? 393 00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:21,565 What? 394 00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,400 We recently did the "Lassie" reboot. 395 00:16:23,442 --> 00:16:25,253 - She's kidding, I think. I hope. - I'm not kidding. 396 00:16:25,277 --> 00:16:26,820 Look, I hate to say this, 397 00:16:26,904 --> 00:16:29,072 but I do think we should recast her. 398 00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:30,991 - You do? That's a good idea. - Oh, fuck. 399 00:16:31,074 --> 00:16:32,993 I mean, this movie's about a comedian, right? 400 00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:34,578 And it's leaning a little maudlin. 401 00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:36,580 I think you should put a comedian in the role. 402 00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:38,040 Right? 403 00:16:38,123 --> 00:16:41,502 What about Deborah Vance? It's an interesting idea. 404 00:16:41,585 --> 00:16:43,504 - Does she act at all? - Are you kidding? 405 00:16:43,587 --> 00:16:45,589 She was the lead of "Who's Making Dinner?" 406 00:16:45,631 --> 00:16:47,341 Groundbreaking sitcom in the '70s? 407 00:16:47,424 --> 00:16:49,277 - She's great in that. - And you know what is crazy? 408 00:16:49,301 --> 00:16:50,761 Her story is exactly like Fatty's. 409 00:16:50,844 --> 00:16:52,763 I mean, she was cast aside by the public. 410 00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:54,782 She was maligned, but then she rose from the ashes. 411 00:16:54,806 --> 00:16:56,242 It's actually really good for the narrative, 412 00:16:56,266 --> 00:16:57,866 and I think she'd be amazing in the part. 413 00:16:57,893 --> 00:16:59,454 That was very inspired, Kayla. That's a great idea. 414 00:16:59,478 --> 00:17:00,896 I just totally came up with it. 415 00:17:00,938 --> 00:17:02,624 Didn't she go crazy or something recently? 416 00:17:02,648 --> 00:17:04,209 No, no, no, that was a coordinated smear campaign. 417 00:17:04,233 --> 00:17:06,109 That is absolutely false. 418 00:17:06,151 --> 00:17:07,795 I can tell you as her manager, all those things you've read... 419 00:17:07,819 --> 00:17:09,619 Something not true. She's sassier than ever. 420 00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:11,114 Okay, great. I love it. 421 00:17:11,156 --> 00:17:12,282 - Let's do it. - Okay. 422 00:17:12,324 --> 00:17:13,825 - Awesome. - Oh, my gosh. 423 00:17:13,909 --> 00:17:15,829 And you have to fire Esme, because I'm not good 424 00:17:15,911 --> 00:17:17,246 at being direct with people. 425 00:17:17,329 --> 00:17:19,623 - You're a director. - I know. 426 00:17:19,665 --> 00:17:20,791 Okay. 427 00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:22,543 Great. Cool. 428 00:17:22,626 --> 00:17:24,878 - Moving on, everyone. - All right, moving on. 429 00:17:24,962 --> 00:17:26,713 Moving on. 430 00:17:26,797 --> 00:17:29,132 God, I can't believe you're recording the book already. 431 00:17:29,174 --> 00:17:31,468 Oh, no, no, the book's not happening. 432 00:17:31,510 --> 00:17:32,928 I fired Kushner. 433 00:17:33,011 --> 00:17:35,430 - You fired Tony Kushner? - Mm-hmm. 434 00:17:35,514 --> 00:17:37,266 No, Deborah. 435 00:17:37,349 --> 00:17:39,059 God, I was gonna slowly develop 436 00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:40,954 a relationship with him over the course of years 437 00:17:40,978 --> 00:17:42,896 and then eventually ask him to read my script, 438 00:17:42,980 --> 00:17:44,314 and he was gonna love it. 439 00:17:44,398 --> 00:17:45,732 You know how it is with men. 440 00:17:45,816 --> 00:17:47,317 If they're not moving at your pace, 441 00:17:47,401 --> 00:17:49,201 it just gets boring and painful after a while. 442 00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:52,155 Okay, so why are we in a recording studio, then? 443 00:17:52,239 --> 00:17:54,658 I had McKinsey run the numbers 444 00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:57,286 to see if I could still get a Grammy this year. 445 00:17:57,369 --> 00:18:00,497 Deborah, we talked about you not using McKinsey. 446 00:18:00,581 --> 00:18:02,791 You said I could do it if it was for a good cause. 447 00:18:02,833 --> 00:18:05,961 - No, I didn't. - Well, it is, and I did. 448 00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:07,879 Apparently, it is an incredibly weak year 449 00:18:07,963 --> 00:18:09,673 for one Grammy category. 450 00:18:09,715 --> 00:18:13,844 Regional Mexican Music Album, including Tejano. 451 00:18:13,885 --> 00:18:15,554 And? 452 00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:17,514 And if I'm featured with the front-runner 453 00:18:17,598 --> 00:18:19,534 and they win, which they will 'cause it's a weak year, 454 00:18:19,558 --> 00:18:20,726 I get my G. 455 00:18:20,809 --> 00:18:22,686 Yay. 456 00:18:22,728 --> 00:18:24,813 Hey, Deborah, we're ready for you. 457 00:18:24,896 --> 00:18:27,149 Thanks. 458 00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:29,276 Okay, wish me luck. 459 00:18:32,446 --> 00:18:35,490 - Did you know about this? - Yes. 460 00:18:35,574 --> 00:18:37,200 Buenos días. 461 00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:39,036 - Hi, hi. - Hello. How you doing? 462 00:18:39,077 --> 00:18:40,621 - Good. - All right. 463 00:18:40,704 --> 00:18:41,788 Yeah. 464 00:18:41,872 --> 00:18:43,665 Hit it. 465 00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:07,064 Oh, God, I hate firing people. 466 00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:08,690 Let's do good cop, bad cop. 467 00:19:08,774 --> 00:19:10,942 I'll be bad cop. They're sexier. 468 00:19:11,026 --> 00:19:13,362 Okay. Just... Okay. 469 00:19:13,445 --> 00:19:14,946 We should see a concert soon. 470 00:19:15,030 --> 00:19:17,407 I'm kind of in the mood for a concert. 471 00:19:17,449 --> 00:19:18,575 All right. 472 00:19:18,617 --> 00:19:21,244 Come in. 473 00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:23,080 Hi, there. It's, uh, Jimmy and Kayla. 474 00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:24,748 - Hi. Yeah, hi. - Hi. 475 00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,750 We need to talk to you, honey. 476 00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:30,003 O-okay. Sure. C-come on in. 477 00:19:30,087 --> 00:19:31,755 Oh, thank you so much 478 00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:34,007 for welcoming us into your space. 479 00:19:34,091 --> 00:19:36,009 Of course. 480 00:19:36,093 --> 00:19:39,429 Um, we should start by saying that you, madam, 481 00:19:39,513 --> 00:19:42,432 have been just so punctual. 482 00:19:42,516 --> 00:19:44,726 Of course I'm punctual. 483 00:19:44,810 --> 00:19:46,603 That being said, you're bad! 484 00:19:46,645 --> 00:19:48,271 Your acting's ass 485 00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:50,941 and you're being outperformed by a dead corpse, mama! 486 00:19:50,982 --> 00:19:52,776 Okay. Sorry about her. Give us a second. 487 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:55,112 That was insane, but, honestly, it's on me. 488 00:19:55,153 --> 00:19:56,780 I should've never let you be bad cop. 489 00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:58,407 - You be good cop. - Okay. 490 00:19:58,490 --> 00:20:00,742 Kind of an oxymoron, though. Fucking pigs. 491 00:20:00,784 --> 00:20:03,245 Just be as nice as you possibly can, okay? 492 00:20:03,328 --> 00:20:06,123 Okay. I'll be the nicest girl in the whole world. 493 00:20:06,164 --> 00:20:08,500 Sorry about that, hon. I'm super bipolar. 494 00:20:08,583 --> 00:20:11,586 Oh, my God. I did not know that. 495 00:20:11,670 --> 00:20:13,130 Yeah, I, uh... 496 00:20:13,171 --> 00:20:14,965 I-I'm really sorry about that. 497 00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:17,259 But, unfortunately, I do have some bad news. 498 00:20:17,342 --> 00:20:18,969 Okay. 499 00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:20,637 Are those your real lips? 500 00:20:20,679 --> 00:20:23,765 If so, your boyfriend's one lucky son of a bitch. 501 00:20:23,807 --> 00:20:25,684 Uh, I-I-I have a-a-a wife. 502 00:20:25,767 --> 00:20:27,644 Oh, gay ass. 503 00:20:27,686 --> 00:20:30,397 Listen, there's no easy way to say this. 504 00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:31,815 You are being recast. 505 00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:33,817 - What? - Oh, my God. 506 00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:35,902 You are terminated effective immediately. 507 00:20:35,986 --> 00:20:37,880 Please pack up your things and return your costume 508 00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:39,656 - and the wig cap. - Fuck you, Jimmy! 509 00:20:39,698 --> 00:20:41,158 - Seriously? - What? 510 00:20:41,199 --> 00:20:43,243 I mean, this is so unfair, right? 511 00:20:43,326 --> 00:20:44,911 Insane, wrong. 512 00:20:44,995 --> 00:20:47,247 Let's get the union involved. You jackass! 513 00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:48,850 No, we're not getting the union involved. 514 00:20:48,874 --> 00:20:50,184 We're just recasting. It happens every day. 515 00:20:50,208 --> 00:20:51,668 No, I mean, seriously, you've been 516 00:20:51,752 --> 00:20:53,521 - mistreated in the workplace. - No, she hasn't. 517 00:20:53,545 --> 00:20:54,838 This is just a recasting. 518 00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:56,190 It happens every day in Hollywood, okay? 519 00:20:56,214 --> 00:20:57,692 I've never seen something like this. 520 00:20:57,716 --> 00:20:59,485 It's a tough business. It happens a lot, okay? 521 00:20:59,509 --> 00:21:01,845 Unfortunately, this decision is final... you're fired. 522 00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:05,223 But you're also signed by us as a client. 523 00:21:05,307 --> 00:21:06,683 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 524 00:21:06,725 --> 00:21:09,019 - Kayla. - I am seeking representation. 525 00:21:09,102 --> 00:21:10,747 Well, you found it with Schaefer & LuSaque. 526 00:21:10,771 --> 00:21:12,397 - Welcome to the family. - Oh, Jesus... 527 00:21:12,481 --> 00:21:14,149 Oh, my God. 528 00:21:14,232 --> 00:21:16,377 Yeah, we should definitely get a dinner on the books. 529 00:21:16,401 --> 00:21:17,569 Yay! 530 00:21:17,652 --> 00:21:20,572 Dinner, dinner, dinner. 531 00:21:27,245 --> 00:21:29,247 I consider myself a playwright 532 00:21:29,331 --> 00:21:30,791 who's learned to write screenplays, 533 00:21:30,874 --> 00:21:32,393 or perhaps I should say, I'm a playwright 534 00:21:32,417 --> 00:21:34,377 who's learned to write screenplays 535 00:21:34,461 --> 00:21:36,213 for Steven Spielberg. 536 00:21:36,254 --> 00:21:38,340 - Hello. - Oh, hey. What's up? 537 00:21:38,423 --> 00:21:39,716 I've been thinking. 538 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:42,385 The real way to cement my legacy 539 00:21:42,469 --> 00:21:45,514 is for me to primary AOC. 540 00:21:45,597 --> 00:21:47,390 What do you think? 541 00:21:47,432 --> 00:21:50,393 Oh, um... yeah. 542 00:21:50,435 --> 00:21:52,562 Yeah, totally. That sounds good. 543 00:21:52,604 --> 00:21:55,315 I-I guess we would have to get you a New York address first 544 00:21:55,398 --> 00:21:56,900 in the Bronx... that could be cool. 545 00:21:56,983 --> 00:21:58,735 We could hang out there. I heart New York. 546 00:21:58,777 --> 00:22:00,904 I would love to hang out in New York City a lot more. 547 00:22:00,987 --> 00:22:02,739 I would love that. It would be great. 548 00:22:02,823 --> 00:22:04,574 Okay, that's it. What is wrong with you? 549 00:22:04,658 --> 00:22:06,267 Nothing. What are you talking about? 550 00:22:06,291 --> 00:22:08,745 You're not challenging me in your normal 551 00:22:08,787 --> 00:22:11,081 "well, haven't you ever considered" Ava way. 552 00:22:11,164 --> 00:22:12,791 I'm just trying to be supportive. 553 00:22:12,874 --> 00:22:17,128 Well, I don't need a yes-man. I need a no-woman to ignore. 554 00:22:17,212 --> 00:22:21,049 Okay, well... fine. 555 00:22:21,132 --> 00:22:23,760 Uh, yeah, things got really dark in Singapore, 556 00:22:23,844 --> 00:22:26,137 and it was really scary seeing you that way. 557 00:22:26,221 --> 00:22:28,139 And now you're back, and you're motivated, 558 00:22:28,223 --> 00:22:30,559 and it's just nice to see you getting out of bed 559 00:22:30,642 --> 00:22:31,977 every day excited. 560 00:22:32,060 --> 00:22:34,312 Well, okay. 561 00:22:37,649 --> 00:22:42,070 But, you know, I do sometimes need you to be honest with me. 562 00:22:44,489 --> 00:22:47,784 Okay, well, I don't think performing Tejano music 563 00:22:47,826 --> 00:22:49,786 is how you want to rewrite your legacy. 564 00:22:49,870 --> 00:22:51,288 ¿Por qué no? 565 00:22:53,498 --> 00:22:55,584 I just... I don't know that, like, 566 00:22:55,625 --> 00:22:58,295 trying to find some loophole to game the system 567 00:22:58,336 --> 00:22:59,796 in an obscure awards category 568 00:22:59,838 --> 00:23:01,798 is what you want to be remembered for, is it? 569 00:23:01,882 --> 00:23:03,800 Maybe. 570 00:23:03,842 --> 00:23:06,177 I mean, this noncompete could be a blessing in disguise. 571 00:23:06,261 --> 00:23:08,346 I could discover something new I'm brilliant at, 572 00:23:08,430 --> 00:23:09,806 my... my true calling. 573 00:23:09,848 --> 00:23:12,934 I mean, look at Woody Allen. He's a gifted clarinetist. 574 00:23:13,018 --> 00:23:14,936 Doll, Woody Allen is not gonna be remembered 575 00:23:15,020 --> 00:23:16,980 for playing the clarinet or the movies 576 00:23:17,022 --> 00:23:18,356 or the bucket hat. 577 00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:20,191 It's gonna be the other thing, okay? 578 00:23:20,275 --> 00:23:22,611 And you are gonna be remembered for comedy, 579 00:23:22,694 --> 00:23:25,363 because you're a comedian. 580 00:23:25,447 --> 00:23:27,657 You said it yourself in your final monologue, remember? 581 00:23:27,699 --> 00:23:29,826 Oh, God, I don't remember what I said. 582 00:23:29,868 --> 00:23:32,579 - I certainly haven't watched it. - Yeah, well, maybe you should. 583 00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:38,460 Okay, what is the biggest achievement for a comedian? 584 00:23:40,211 --> 00:23:43,506 - Beating a rape trial. - Seriously. 585 00:23:43,548 --> 00:23:45,508 Hosting a late-night show. 586 00:23:45,550 --> 00:23:47,761 Come on. Anything else? 587 00:23:47,844 --> 00:23:50,931 Selling out Madison Square Garden. 588 00:23:51,014 --> 00:23:53,141 Okay, great. 589 00:23:53,224 --> 00:23:56,853 But I can't do that. 590 00:23:56,895 --> 00:23:58,688 - I can't perform. - I know. 591 00:23:58,730 --> 00:24:00,690 And I don't know how to get around that. 592 00:24:00,732 --> 00:24:03,109 I don't know what to do. 593 00:24:03,193 --> 00:24:06,196 So you have a bump but no pitch. 594 00:24:07,948 --> 00:24:09,908 Yeah. I'm sorry. 595 00:24:09,991 --> 00:24:12,077 Yeah, me too. 596 00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:20,251 I'm going to bed. 597 00:24:24,589 --> 00:24:27,050 - Good night. - Good night. 598 00:24:49,948 --> 00:24:51,449 What? 599 00:24:59,290 --> 00:25:01,418 Ava! 600 00:25:01,501 --> 00:25:03,253 No results. Unbelievable. 601 00:25:03,336 --> 00:25:05,505 Yeah, they've taken down every "Late Night" clip. 602 00:25:05,588 --> 00:25:06,923 This is criminal. 603 00:25:06,965 --> 00:25:09,092 Hang on. 604 00:25:09,175 --> 00:25:10,427 Oh, shit. 605 00:25:10,510 --> 00:25:12,929 What? 606 00:25:12,971 --> 00:25:14,931 They took down "My Bad," too. 607 00:25:15,015 --> 00:25:16,641 What? 608 00:25:19,978 --> 00:25:22,731 Why would my special be gone? 609 00:25:22,814 --> 00:25:24,607 Because it's on their streamer. 610 00:25:24,691 --> 00:25:26,735 Bob Lipka controls that, too. 611 00:25:26,818 --> 00:25:29,320 They fucking scrubbed everything. 612 00:25:29,404 --> 00:25:31,948 Everything. 613 00:25:32,032 --> 00:25:34,784 Everything that we have worked on for the past five years 614 00:25:34,826 --> 00:25:36,745 is gone. 615 00:25:36,828 --> 00:25:40,123 They're not just rewriting me, they are erasing me! 616 00:25:40,165 --> 00:25:42,625 I'm so sorry. 617 00:25:42,667 --> 00:25:45,545 You know, the last time the press smeared me, 618 00:25:45,628 --> 00:25:47,047 I just let them. 619 00:25:47,130 --> 00:25:49,632 I leaned into it, but not this time. 620 00:25:49,716 --> 00:25:51,468 This time I am writing my story, 621 00:25:51,551 --> 00:25:53,762 'cause you're right... I am a comedian. 622 00:25:53,803 --> 00:25:57,140 And I'm doing comedy, and I'm doing it tomorrow night. 623 00:25:57,182 --> 00:25:59,768 Totally. Super support you. But how are you gonna... 624 00:25:59,851 --> 00:26:01,478 Call Jimmy, manager. 625 00:26:01,519 --> 00:26:03,980 Being let go is a normal part of the business. 626 00:26:04,022 --> 00:26:05,565 - Yeah. - I'm sure she'll be okay. 627 00:26:05,648 --> 00:26:07,067 Thank you, Orna. 628 00:26:07,150 --> 00:26:08,777 But, again, I do want to revisit 629 00:26:08,860 --> 00:26:10,528 working on your boundaries with clients. 630 00:26:10,612 --> 00:26:12,372 Yes, I've been thinking about that a lot... 631 00:26:12,447 --> 00:26:14,091 And I, um... Oh, shoot. 632 00:26:14,115 --> 00:26:15,784 You know what? Deborah's calling. 633 00:26:15,867 --> 00:26:17,786 Same time next week? Great. 634 00:26:17,869 --> 00:26:19,204 Hey, Deborah. 635 00:26:19,287 --> 00:26:20,931 Hi. Hi, hi, hi. I hope it's not too late. 636 00:26:20,955 --> 00:26:23,017 No, no, this is great. I actually want to talk to you. 637 00:26:23,041 --> 00:26:25,001 I just figured it was too late for you. 638 00:26:25,043 --> 00:26:27,337 Are you ready for your close-up, Miss De-Vance? 639 00:26:27,420 --> 00:26:29,672 - What? - I got you a part. 640 00:26:29,714 --> 00:26:31,716 Your Oscar is just one great performance, 641 00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:34,177 nomination, flawless campaign, and win away. 642 00:26:34,260 --> 00:26:36,679 No, I'm over that. Don't need an Oscar anymore. 643 00:26:36,721 --> 00:26:38,473 No, yes, you do. You need it. 644 00:26:38,556 --> 00:26:41,059 You told me you needed it, and... and we recast somebody. 645 00:26:41,142 --> 00:26:43,019 We're putting you on the call sheet right now. 646 00:26:43,061 --> 00:26:44,813 Jimmy, I'm doing stand-up tomorrow. 647 00:26:44,896 --> 00:26:47,190 Oh, no. You're sundowning, darling. 648 00:26:47,232 --> 00:26:48,483 You cannot perform. 649 00:26:48,566 --> 00:26:50,318 No, I'm gonna do a secret show. 650 00:26:50,401 --> 00:26:51,778 We're gonna confiscate phones. 651 00:26:51,861 --> 00:26:54,364 Well, no venue's gonna agree to that. 652 00:26:54,447 --> 00:26:56,199 They don't have to. 653 00:26:56,282 --> 00:26:59,202 I know a guy. 654 00:26:59,244 --> 00:27:00,703 Password? 655 00:27:00,745 --> 00:27:03,540 Hermès Kelly 28 croc, gold hardware. 656 00:27:07,418 --> 00:27:10,713 Follow me. You made it just in time. 657 00:27:19,639 --> 00:27:21,558 Phones, please. 658 00:27:21,599 --> 00:27:24,269 If your babysitter calls, Damien here will handle it. 659 00:27:24,352 --> 00:27:26,771 And if you try to sneak in a device, you will be Tased. 660 00:27:26,855 --> 00:27:28,106 They are good. 661 00:27:28,189 --> 00:27:29,732 Follow me and watch your step. 662 00:27:29,816 --> 00:27:31,568 We are not liable if you fall, ladies! 663 00:27:31,609 --> 00:27:33,236 Open any hard candy now. 664 00:27:33,319 --> 00:27:36,614 So help me God, if I hear a rustle, you're gone. 665 00:27:36,698 --> 00:27:37,740 Sit. 666 00:27:37,824 --> 00:27:38,950 Right this way. 667 00:27:39,033 --> 00:27:40,618 Front row, best seat in the house... 668 00:27:40,702 --> 00:27:42,262 you do have to sit on the floor, though. 669 00:27:42,328 --> 00:27:43,931 - Sorry about that. - Did you get your mom yet? 670 00:27:43,955 --> 00:27:45,415 The Arbuckle movie is freaking out. 671 00:27:45,456 --> 00:27:46,875 All right, let me try her again. 672 00:27:50,837 --> 00:27:52,881 I'm so sorry, everybody. 673 00:27:52,964 --> 00:27:54,090 I'm so sorry. 674 00:27:54,132 --> 00:27:55,258 Cut. 675 00:27:55,300 --> 00:27:56,885 Oh, it's... it's my son calling. 676 00:27:56,968 --> 00:27:58,386 He's been trying to reach me. 677 00:27:58,469 --> 00:28:00,013 Hi, honey. What's going on? 678 00:28:00,096 --> 00:28:01,782 You know that we shoot until midnight every night. 679 00:28:01,806 --> 00:28:03,433 I know, I'm sorry. Just listen. 680 00:28:03,516 --> 00:28:05,435 I got you a role in the Fatty Arbuckle movie. 681 00:28:05,476 --> 00:28:07,937 - Okay. Say more. - Here's the only issue. 682 00:28:08,021 --> 00:28:10,773 We lose our location Saturday, so we have to shoot tomorrow. 683 00:28:10,857 --> 00:28:13,109 Can you be off book for eight pages by morning? 684 00:28:13,151 --> 00:28:14,986 Baby, are you kidding? I'm in soaps. 685 00:28:15,069 --> 00:28:17,488 I could be off book for "Hamlet" in 20 minutes. 686 00:28:17,572 --> 00:28:19,115 Oh, great. Okay. 687 00:28:19,199 --> 00:28:21,492 Oh, the show's starting. I got to go. I'll text you. 688 00:28:21,576 --> 00:28:22,619 All right. Love you. 689 00:28:22,702 --> 00:28:25,121 Okay, my mom is in. She's gonna do it. 690 00:28:25,163 --> 00:28:26,164 Yes. 691 00:28:26,247 --> 00:28:30,084 Deborah, Deborah, Deborah! 692 00:28:30,168 --> 00:28:33,504 Deborah, Deborah, Deborah! 693 00:28:33,588 --> 00:28:35,757 Deborah, Deborah, Deborah! 694 00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:38,301 Deborah, Deborah, Deborah! 695 00:28:41,721 --> 00:28:44,807 Deborah, we love you! 696 00:28:55,193 --> 00:28:57,737 Thank you. Um... 697 00:28:57,820 --> 00:29:00,949 Oh, thank you. 698 00:29:01,032 --> 00:29:03,660 Here I am, back from the dead. 699 00:29:07,330 --> 00:29:09,370 You know, when a man does that, he's the Son of God. 700 00:29:09,415 --> 00:29:12,460 When a woman does it, she's held for questioning at LAX. 701 00:29:15,088 --> 00:29:16,965 The only other time I was mistaken for a corpse 702 00:29:17,048 --> 00:29:19,884 was when I let a straight man do my makeup. 703 00:29:24,055 --> 00:29:28,184 You know, when you're away from the spotlight... 704 00:29:28,226 --> 00:29:32,188 you have time to think about what really matters. 705 00:29:32,230 --> 00:29:33,856 The spotlight! 706 00:29:33,898 --> 00:29:36,234 God, I am glad to be back! 707 00:29:51,708 --> 00:29:53,543 Oh, can I try that again? 708 00:29:53,584 --> 00:29:55,044 Mm. 709 00:29:55,128 --> 00:29:56,462 Oh, that... that is fierce. 710 00:29:56,546 --> 00:29:57,898 - Stunning. Stunning. - Look at that. 711 00:29:57,922 --> 00:29:59,549 - Oh. - Excuse me. 712 00:29:59,590 --> 00:30:00,967 Are you Deborah Vance? 713 00:30:01,050 --> 00:30:02,719 Yes, I'm alive. 714 00:30:02,802 --> 00:30:04,595 And you've been served. 715 00:30:08,099 --> 00:30:09,809 Bitch! 716 00:30:09,892 --> 00:30:12,645 Shit, ye... there's a video of you from the show online. 717 00:30:12,729 --> 00:30:15,148 I can't believe Bob's people found it so quickly. 718 00:30:15,231 --> 00:30:17,317 Looks like we're going to court. 719 00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:19,027 Ma'am, we need that ring back. 720 00:30:19,110 --> 00:30:20,903 She'll give it back when she's ready. 721 00:30:23,448 --> 00:30:25,575 Free Deborah! Free Deborah! 722 00:30:30,079 --> 00:30:31,789 Let us through! Let us through, please! 723 00:30:31,873 --> 00:30:33,416 - Deborah! - Deborah! 724 00:30:33,458 --> 00:30:35,209 Deborah, your comments on today? 725 00:30:35,293 --> 00:30:37,086 Deborah. 726 00:30:37,128 --> 00:30:39,797 - Ms. Vance. - Deborah, care to comment? 727 00:30:42,342 --> 00:30:45,053 Move back! Move back! 728 00:30:45,094 --> 00:30:47,055 Coming through. Come on, guys, back up. 729 00:30:47,096 --> 00:30:49,265 We've just learned the judge has ruled 730 00:30:49,307 --> 00:30:50,933 that due to ComStar's investment 731 00:30:51,017 --> 00:30:53,120 in promoting Deborah Vance as the host of "Late Night," 732 00:30:53,144 --> 00:30:54,854 the clause barring her from performing 733 00:30:54,937 --> 00:30:56,439 is, in fact, enforceable. 734 00:30:56,522 --> 00:30:58,691 A temporary restraining order will be put in place 735 00:30:58,775 --> 00:31:00,443 until a full trial can be set. 736 00:31:00,526 --> 00:31:03,446 This is a huge loss for Ms. Vance and her team. 737 00:31:03,488 --> 00:31:05,782 - We'll be covering... - Deborah, Deborah! 738 00:31:05,865 --> 00:31:07,867 Okay, give us some space, please. 739 00:31:07,950 --> 00:31:10,286 Just stay back. 740 00:31:10,328 --> 00:31:12,955 Free speech is under attack in this country. 741 00:31:13,039 --> 00:31:15,124 And today I have been told that I cannot so much 742 00:31:15,208 --> 00:31:17,710 as perform one single joke, 743 00:31:17,794 --> 00:31:19,462 or I will go to jail. 744 00:31:19,545 --> 00:31:21,881 But they can't censor me forever. 745 00:31:21,964 --> 00:31:23,841 The moment that my contract expires, 746 00:31:23,925 --> 00:31:25,468 I will be speaking my truth. 747 00:31:25,551 --> 00:31:29,305 In fact, I'll be shouting it at my comeback show 748 00:31:29,347 --> 00:31:31,682 at the world's most famous arena, 749 00:31:31,766 --> 00:31:34,102 Madison Square Garden. 750 00:31:34,185 --> 00:31:35,853 Thank you. 751 00:31:35,937 --> 00:31:37,855 Excuse us, guys. Excuse us, please. 752 00:31:37,939 --> 00:31:41,859 Back it up. Back up. Give us some room. Thank you. 753 00:31:41,943 --> 00:31:44,320 - The Garden? - Yep. 754 00:31:44,362 --> 00:31:46,322 It's the ultimate win for a comedian. 755 00:31:46,406 --> 00:31:47,990 And if I sell it out, 756 00:31:48,032 --> 00:31:49,992 I'll be one of only a handful who've ever done it. 757 00:31:50,076 --> 00:31:51,619 And that will be my legacy. 758 00:31:51,702 --> 00:31:53,913 You know, for a woman who can't be on camera, 759 00:31:53,996 --> 00:31:56,916 - you just got a lot of airtime. - Mm-hmm. 760 00:31:56,999 --> 00:31:59,585 Wait, you leaked that video, didn't you? 761 00:31:59,669 --> 00:32:01,921 - No. - I did. 762 00:32:02,004 --> 00:32:03,506 That was a great pitch. 763 00:32:03,589 --> 00:32:06,134 - We had to announce somehow. - Hmm. 764 00:32:06,217 --> 00:32:09,512 Oh, my God. 765 00:32:19,063 --> 00:32:24,139 sync & corrections awaqeded www.addic7ed.com