1 00:00:09,180 --> 00:00:10,473 - Are y'all finished or y'all done? 2 00:00:10,515 --> 00:00:11,557 - Morning, everybody. 3 00:00:11,641 --> 00:00:12,850 It's DJ Envy, 4 00:00:12,934 --> 00:00:14,811 Jess Hilarious, Charlamagne Tha God. 5 00:00:14,852 --> 00:00:16,479 We are "The Breakfast Club." 6 00:00:16,562 --> 00:00:18,940 - And we got a special guest in the building, Deborah Vance. 7 00:00:19,023 --> 00:00:20,149 - Hey. What's up, y'all? 8 00:00:20,233 --> 00:00:22,443 And please call me Deborah Tha God. 9 00:00:24,445 --> 00:00:25,822 - OK, so, Deborah, talk to us. 10 00:00:25,863 --> 00:00:27,323 You had this crazy noncompete for how long? 11 00:00:27,406 --> 00:00:28,658 - 18 months. Yeah. - Mm. 12 00:00:28,741 --> 00:00:29,992 - Year and a half, I wasn't legally allowed 13 00:00:30,076 --> 00:00:31,494 to perform or speak publicly. 14 00:00:31,536 --> 00:00:32,912 And the one time I did, I went to jail. 15 00:00:32,995 --> 00:00:33,996 - Damn. - Damn. 16 00:00:34,038 --> 00:00:35,665 - But that expired at midnight. 17 00:00:35,706 --> 00:00:37,500 And I knew that the first place I wanted to break my silence 18 00:00:37,542 --> 00:00:38,751 was here at "The Breakfast Club" 19 00:00:38,835 --> 00:00:40,461 with my good friend Charlamagne. 20 00:00:40,545 --> 00:00:41,671 - Yes, indeed. 21 00:00:41,754 --> 00:00:43,005 - Wow, people don't know y'all go way back. 22 00:00:43,089 --> 00:00:44,173 - Yes, we do. - No, it's true. 23 00:00:44,257 --> 00:00:45,716 We actually co-own a racehorse. 24 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:47,468 Her name's Wheat Thin. Here, I'll show you. 25 00:00:47,552 --> 00:00:48,553 - Yeah, she's a sweetheart— 26 00:00:48,636 --> 00:00:49,804 terrific spirit, beautiful mane. 27 00:00:49,887 --> 00:00:51,222 - Yeah, she's work hard, play hard. 28 00:00:51,305 --> 00:00:52,640 - Go, Wheat Thin, OK. - Yeah. 29 00:00:52,723 --> 00:00:53,975 That's where Jess get her hair from. 30 00:00:54,058 --> 00:00:55,518 - Don't do me. - Whoa. Whoa. 31 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:57,395 - But people don't want to hear about Wheat Thin. 32 00:00:57,478 --> 00:01:00,106 They want to hear about your sold-out show next Thursday 33 00:01:00,189 --> 00:01:01,649 at Madison Square Garden. 34 00:01:01,732 --> 00:01:03,276 How does that feel? That's, like, the pinnacle 35 00:01:03,359 --> 00:01:04,777 for a stand-up comic. - Yeah, it is. 36 00:01:04,861 --> 00:01:06,112 You know, when I quit "Late Night," 37 00:01:06,195 --> 00:01:07,530 I kind of took a hit publicly. 38 00:01:07,613 --> 00:01:09,031 And I wasn't sure I could sell it out. 39 00:01:09,073 --> 00:01:10,366 - But you didn't just sell out. 40 00:01:10,408 --> 00:01:11,868 You sold out in, like, 10 minutes, right? 41 00:01:11,909 --> 00:01:13,369 - Yes, I did. 42 00:01:13,452 --> 00:01:15,746 - Damn, those tickets moved faster than Wheat Thin. 43 00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:18,374 - So you got a week left until the show. 44 00:01:18,416 --> 00:01:20,001 What are you doing to prepare? 45 00:01:20,042 --> 00:01:21,377 - Uh, it's kind of rigorous, Envy. 46 00:01:21,460 --> 00:01:23,588 I've got a trainer, a physical therapist, 47 00:01:23,671 --> 00:01:25,715 a choreographer, a vocal coach. 48 00:01:25,798 --> 00:01:28,551 We're just working nonstop to make sure this is the best 9/11 49 00:01:28,593 --> 00:01:30,052 that New York has ever had. 50 00:01:30,094 --> 00:01:32,179 - Huh? - We're so happy to see you. 51 00:01:32,263 --> 00:01:34,348 And I'm glad that you came to stop past us. 52 00:01:34,432 --> 00:01:35,892 - My honor. I am a long-time member 53 00:01:35,975 --> 00:01:37,727 of "The Breakfast Club" Nation. - OK. 54 00:01:37,768 --> 00:01:40,730 - Now, are you really listening for us or the music? 55 00:01:40,813 --> 00:01:42,148 - Both. 56 00:01:42,231 --> 00:01:43,733 My friend Kiki's turned me on to all the greats. 57 00:01:43,816 --> 00:01:46,402 I've got That Mexican OT on heavy rotation. 58 00:01:46,444 --> 00:01:47,570 - OK. 59 00:01:47,612 --> 00:01:50,573 - BigXthaPlug, Nine Vicious, 1900Rugrat. 60 00:01:50,656 --> 00:01:51,908 - OK. 61 00:01:51,949 --> 00:01:53,242 - Hey, can we go out on a little GloRilla? 62 00:01:53,326 --> 00:01:55,077 - Not Big Glo. - Yes, Big Glo. 63 00:01:55,119 --> 00:01:56,120 - All right, let's play some Glo. 64 00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:57,580 - Let's play "Let Her Cook." 65 00:02:20,728 --> 00:02:21,938 - The hydraulic lift is bringing me 66 00:02:22,021 --> 00:02:23,981 up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up. 67 00:02:24,065 --> 00:02:25,733 I'm thinking this'll look way too far upstage. 68 00:02:25,816 --> 00:02:27,068 Can we move this down? Let's say 3 feet. 69 00:02:27,151 --> 00:02:28,945 Let's try that. Remark it. Thank you. 70 00:02:37,495 --> 00:02:38,788 Ah. 71 00:02:38,871 --> 00:02:41,290 Ha, ha, ha, hoo, hoo, hoo. 72 00:02:49,006 --> 00:02:50,925 Hello, Madison Square Garden. 73 00:02:51,008 --> 00:02:52,301 I'm back from the dead. 74 00:02:52,385 --> 00:02:53,761 And just like Jesus, 75 00:02:53,844 --> 00:02:56,430 I love having 12 gay guys over for supper. 76 00:02:56,514 --> 00:02:57,473 This lining has to change. 77 00:02:57,515 --> 00:02:58,641 I just— - We're changing it. 78 00:02:58,724 --> 00:02:59,934 - But it needs to change, like, now, 79 00:03:00,017 --> 00:03:01,268 because I have to rehearse in it. 80 00:03:01,352 --> 00:03:02,311 This is the stuff that's making me nervous. 81 00:03:02,395 --> 00:03:03,479 Thank you, New York. 82 00:03:03,521 --> 00:03:04,814 I'm still Deborah Vance. 83 00:03:04,855 --> 00:03:06,315 Good night. 84 00:03:11,153 --> 00:03:13,072 - And then at that point, I am Jesus on the cross. 85 00:03:13,155 --> 00:03:15,491 And here come my three wise men, and— 86 00:03:21,747 --> 00:03:22,707 Ah. 87 00:03:22,790 --> 00:03:24,166 Hello, New York! 88 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:27,962 What's up, New York? 89 00:03:30,798 --> 00:03:33,342 What's good, New York? 90 00:03:52,987 --> 00:03:55,197 - Nice shot. 91 00:03:55,281 --> 00:03:56,741 - Come on, get up there. Phew. 92 00:03:56,824 --> 00:03:59,869 That's the way—oh. 93 00:03:59,910 --> 00:04:01,871 Ah. 94 00:04:01,912 --> 00:04:03,372 Hey, good-looking. 95 00:04:03,414 --> 00:04:04,832 You ready to rock the Garden? 96 00:04:04,915 --> 00:04:06,333 - Almost. 97 00:04:06,417 --> 00:04:07,960 I'm just having trouble sleeping. 98 00:04:08,044 --> 00:04:09,295 And I don't want to take Ambien this week 99 00:04:09,378 --> 00:04:10,796 'cause I need to stay sharp. 100 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:13,382 - Sure. - I just really need my rest. 101 00:04:13,466 --> 00:04:15,342 And there's really only one other thing 102 00:04:15,426 --> 00:04:17,720 that helps me sleep deeply. 103 00:04:17,762 --> 00:04:20,556 - Deborah Vance, is this a booty call? 104 00:04:20,639 --> 00:04:22,433 - Oh, don't be tacky. 105 00:04:22,516 --> 00:04:24,393 Just get in your private jet and get over here. 106 00:04:24,435 --> 00:04:25,561 - Wheels up! 107 00:04:32,693 --> 00:04:35,905 - So for a generation without economic stability 108 00:04:35,946 --> 00:04:39,366 and so few job prospects, the small things 109 00:04:39,450 --> 00:04:41,577 become the only things that we can control. 110 00:04:41,660 --> 00:04:44,705 And the biggest question becomes, 111 00:04:44,789 --> 00:04:47,041 who is making dinner? 112 00:04:47,124 --> 00:04:49,919 - Aw! 113 00:04:50,002 --> 00:04:51,420 Well-told. 114 00:04:51,504 --> 00:04:52,922 - She is the best, truth teller. 115 00:04:52,963 --> 00:04:55,257 - Thank you. Oh, thank you. 116 00:04:55,299 --> 00:04:56,425 - Yeah. 117 00:04:56,509 --> 00:04:58,135 Well, listen, in any other situation, 118 00:04:58,219 --> 00:05:01,263 I would say, you know, give us a beat to discuss. 119 00:05:01,347 --> 00:05:04,266 But since we already have a deal with you, 120 00:05:04,350 --> 00:05:05,810 I'm just gonna be real. 121 00:05:05,893 --> 00:05:10,856 I don't know why you need to tell this story. 122 00:05:10,940 --> 00:05:15,069 - Yeah, I guess because I thought of the idea 123 00:05:15,152 --> 00:05:17,738 and brought it on down to you. 124 00:05:17,822 --> 00:05:20,199 - Sure, sure. - Had to—yeah, that's why. 125 00:05:20,282 --> 00:05:22,076 - I just kind of feel like a lot 126 00:05:22,159 --> 00:05:25,746 of writers of your generation could do this show. 127 00:05:25,788 --> 00:05:28,290 - Sure, yeah, I guess what makes me feel 128 00:05:28,332 --> 00:05:29,625 best suited to tell this story... 129 00:05:29,667 --> 00:05:31,001 - Uh-huh. - Is that I feel like I can 130 00:05:31,085 --> 00:05:33,003 balance communicating the crushing weight 131 00:05:33,087 --> 00:05:36,465 of this economic system with the hard comedy... 132 00:05:36,549 --> 00:05:37,633 - Right. 133 00:05:37,675 --> 00:05:39,135 - And sort of the real characters. 134 00:05:39,218 --> 00:05:40,636 - Yeah, with her, you're gonna get the funny. 135 00:05:40,678 --> 00:05:42,388 And you know they passed on "Friends" six times 136 00:05:42,471 --> 00:05:43,639 before they made "Friends." 137 00:05:43,722 --> 00:05:45,307 And then there was "Friends." - Yeah. 138 00:05:45,349 --> 00:05:49,603 - And this is better than that, depending on casting. 139 00:05:49,687 --> 00:05:50,729 - I hear you. 140 00:05:50,813 --> 00:05:52,648 It just—it doesn't feel personal. 141 00:05:52,690 --> 00:05:54,316 - OK. - Listen, we love you. 142 00:05:54,358 --> 00:05:57,319 We are so excited about you. 143 00:05:57,403 --> 00:05:59,155 But this idea specifically, 144 00:05:59,196 --> 00:06:02,324 it's just not sparking joy for me. 145 00:06:02,366 --> 00:06:05,035 - Oh, crap. 146 00:06:05,119 --> 00:06:06,495 Ay. 147 00:06:06,537 --> 00:06:07,538 Not this one. 148 00:06:07,621 --> 00:06:08,956 - Do you have anything else? 149 00:06:09,039 --> 00:06:10,499 - Um— - She does. 150 00:06:10,541 --> 00:06:12,918 She's got—you have so many ideas that it's honestly— 151 00:06:13,002 --> 00:06:15,588 she's like Shakespeare on crack, but not on crack 152 00:06:15,671 --> 00:06:16,922 'cause she doesn't have a problem. 153 00:06:17,006 --> 00:06:18,132 But if Shakespeare were a woman, 154 00:06:18,215 --> 00:06:20,009 which maybe she was... - Maybe. 155 00:06:20,050 --> 00:06:22,428 - She is like that— crazy amount of ideas, 156 00:06:22,511 --> 00:06:24,013 some of them new, some of them old. 157 00:06:24,096 --> 00:06:25,806 Some of them IP, if you want that, and some of them not. 158 00:06:25,890 --> 00:06:27,308 - OK. - So we're gonna regroup. 159 00:06:27,391 --> 00:06:28,684 We're gonna talk about it. 160 00:06:28,726 --> 00:06:30,060 We're gonna figure out what makes sense for you. 161 00:06:30,144 --> 00:06:31,228 We're gonna bring it back. - Yeah. 162 00:06:31,312 --> 00:06:32,354 - And it's gonna be good. 163 00:06:32,396 --> 00:06:33,814 - I love this. I love this. 164 00:06:33,898 --> 00:06:35,524 This is sparking joy. 165 00:06:35,566 --> 00:06:36,525 Yay. 166 00:06:36,609 --> 00:06:37,735 - I'll bring you something else. 167 00:06:37,818 --> 00:06:39,653 - Please do. 168 00:06:53,083 --> 00:06:55,544 - Ah, damn it. 169 00:06:57,338 --> 00:07:00,132 Sorry. Sorry. 170 00:07:02,259 --> 00:07:06,055 - Good morning. - Morning. 171 00:07:06,138 --> 00:07:07,056 Sleep well? 172 00:07:07,139 --> 00:07:08,390 - I did. 173 00:07:10,351 --> 00:07:12,728 - Ay-yi-yi. 174 00:07:12,811 --> 00:07:15,397 I— - No, it's OK. It's OK. 175 00:07:15,481 --> 00:07:16,732 - Hey, Tyler. 176 00:07:16,815 --> 00:07:19,902 How you doing? 177 00:07:19,944 --> 00:07:21,237 Uh-huh. 178 00:07:21,278 --> 00:07:23,739 Sure. 179 00:07:23,781 --> 00:07:27,159 Uh... 180 00:07:27,243 --> 00:07:28,744 Severance package? 181 00:07:28,786 --> 00:07:31,580 What? - Oh, God. 182 00:07:31,622 --> 00:07:35,042 - Put out to pasture by a bunch of dorky computer kids. 183 00:07:35,125 --> 00:07:36,585 I've always hated computers, by the way. 184 00:07:36,627 --> 00:07:38,254 - Oh, they've ruined everything. 185 00:07:38,337 --> 00:07:42,758 - Deborah, I think this might be ageism. 186 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:45,219 - Yeah, well, welcome to the club. 187 00:07:45,261 --> 00:07:47,763 I mean, you're 40 years behind, but we're happy to have you. 188 00:07:47,846 --> 00:07:50,224 - I've given 35 years to the Palmetto. 189 00:07:50,307 --> 00:07:51,684 I helped build that fucking place! 190 00:07:51,767 --> 00:07:53,394 - I get it. 191 00:07:53,477 --> 00:07:55,271 It's terrible. 192 00:07:59,483 --> 00:08:00,943 What the hell am I gonna do now, Deb? 193 00:08:01,026 --> 00:08:04,488 - I don't know. I'm sorry. 194 00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:06,282 I hate to say this, but I gotta go get ready. 195 00:08:06,365 --> 00:08:08,117 I gotta rehearse. Tell you what. 196 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:09,660 Why don't you stick around for a few days? 197 00:08:09,743 --> 00:08:11,120 Come and see the show. 198 00:08:11,203 --> 00:08:12,788 - You think I wasn't gonna stick around 199 00:08:12,830 --> 00:08:14,957 to see you play the Garden? 200 00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:16,375 Come on. 201 00:08:16,458 --> 00:08:19,628 - Course you are. 202 00:08:19,670 --> 00:08:21,297 It's gonna be OK. 203 00:08:21,338 --> 00:08:23,257 - Yeah. 204 00:08:23,340 --> 00:08:24,633 - It is. 205 00:08:24,717 --> 00:08:26,719 You take it from me. 206 00:08:30,848 --> 00:08:33,434 OK. 207 00:08:40,316 --> 00:08:42,276 - When I'm hungry, my whole personality changes. 208 00:08:42,359 --> 00:08:43,527 - They'll be here in five minutes. 209 00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:44,778 - I ordered the polenta fritters. 210 00:08:44,862 --> 00:08:46,196 And where the hell is our waitress? 211 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:47,614 - Honey, calm down. - God damn it. God— 212 00:08:47,698 --> 00:08:48,866 - Shh. - Oh, wait, there she is. 213 00:08:48,949 --> 00:08:50,659 There she is. - Hello. 214 00:08:50,743 --> 00:08:53,162 - Ava. - Hi. 215 00:08:53,245 --> 00:08:54,830 - This is Jack. - Hi. 216 00:08:54,872 --> 00:08:58,459 - Jack, this is my daughter, Ava Cecilia. 217 00:08:58,542 --> 00:08:59,877 - Confirmation name, not real. 218 00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:02,087 But nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you too. 219 00:09:02,171 --> 00:09:03,839 - So will Deborah be having 220 00:09:03,922 --> 00:09:06,633 a red carpet experience for her show? 221 00:09:06,675 --> 00:09:09,178 Because Jack and I recently, we broke the seal 222 00:09:09,219 --> 00:09:11,972 as a public couple when we were photographed 223 00:09:12,056 --> 00:09:14,350 at the National Windsurfing Awards dinner. 224 00:09:14,433 --> 00:09:16,602 - Wow. - Jack's a grandmaster. 225 00:09:16,685 --> 00:09:18,979 He was ranked fifth nationally. - Oh! 226 00:09:19,063 --> 00:09:20,647 - Yeah, he was dating another windsurfer. 227 00:09:20,731 --> 00:09:22,149 And I just—I stole him. 228 00:09:22,232 --> 00:09:23,192 - Took me away. 229 00:09:23,275 --> 00:09:24,818 - I just—I blew his mind. 230 00:09:26,195 --> 00:09:27,988 It's wild times. - Totally. 231 00:09:30,115 --> 00:09:31,533 - Crazy behavior. 232 00:09:31,575 --> 00:09:33,035 - So hot. 233 00:09:33,077 --> 00:09:34,370 - It's just unbelievable. - Would you stop? 234 00:09:34,453 --> 00:09:35,371 - Oh, sorry. 235 00:09:35,454 --> 00:09:37,331 So how did your pitch go? 236 00:09:37,414 --> 00:09:38,832 - It didn't go well. 237 00:09:38,916 --> 00:09:41,168 It's not looking like I'm gonna have a show. 238 00:09:41,251 --> 00:09:42,378 - What? 239 00:09:42,419 --> 00:09:43,879 Don't they know how brilliant you are? 240 00:09:43,921 --> 00:09:45,255 Oh, come on. 241 00:09:45,339 --> 00:09:47,383 - I have an idea for a show about a windsurfer. 242 00:09:47,424 --> 00:09:50,094 Matthew McConaughey, he'd be great for it. 243 00:09:51,845 --> 00:09:53,680 - That actually sounds really sellable. 244 00:09:53,764 --> 00:09:54,890 - Ooh! - Really? 245 00:09:54,973 --> 00:09:56,725 - Yeah. This is how it happens, honey. 246 00:09:56,767 --> 00:09:59,520 Yeah, no, no, Ava knows people. She'll get it done. 247 00:09:59,603 --> 00:10:01,355 Who should he email? 248 00:10:05,484 --> 00:10:07,069 - I mean, it sucks. 249 00:10:07,111 --> 00:10:08,904 I had tons of episode ideas, and I didn't even get to them. 250 00:10:08,987 --> 00:10:11,156 - I'm sorry. They're idiots. 251 00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:13,200 - Thank you. Yeah. 252 00:10:13,283 --> 00:10:15,244 I mean, I'll figure something out, but— 253 00:10:15,327 --> 00:10:16,745 - Can you pass me the phone? 254 00:10:16,829 --> 00:10:18,414 - Your phone or my phone? 255 00:10:18,497 --> 00:10:21,250 - The phone. I want to order room service. 256 00:10:21,291 --> 00:10:22,751 - Oh, no, you don't order room service on the phone. 257 00:10:22,835 --> 00:10:25,337 You scan it with, like, a QR code on your phone. 258 00:10:28,006 --> 00:10:31,593 - So if I want to order room service, 259 00:10:31,635 --> 00:10:33,220 I can't use the phone? 260 00:10:33,303 --> 00:10:34,221 - No. 261 00:10:34,304 --> 00:10:35,889 - I have to use my phone? 262 00:10:35,973 --> 00:10:36,974 - Yeah. 263 00:10:37,057 --> 00:10:38,892 - But I can't call anybody? 264 00:10:38,976 --> 00:10:41,270 - Right, yeah. No. 265 00:10:41,311 --> 00:10:43,564 - You know, it's no wonder you people are all autistic now. 266 00:10:43,605 --> 00:10:46,108 You never talk to anyone. 267 00:10:46,191 --> 00:10:48,902 I need to start wearing a body cam around you, girl. 268 00:10:48,944 --> 00:10:52,406 Jesus Christ, the stuff you're freaking saying. 269 00:10:52,489 --> 00:10:54,074 - Do not drink that. 270 00:10:54,158 --> 00:10:55,409 - What? Why? 271 00:10:55,492 --> 00:10:57,619 - No, never pull a beverage from the minibar. 272 00:10:57,703 --> 00:10:59,455 It is marked up 700%. 273 00:10:59,496 --> 00:11:00,664 I don't want to get ripped off. 274 00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:02,124 No, I'll have Damien go to Duane Reade 275 00:11:02,166 --> 00:11:03,625 and get you one if you really want one. 276 00:11:03,667 --> 00:11:04,835 OK. 277 00:11:04,918 --> 00:11:06,336 So I can't have it? 278 00:11:08,338 --> 00:11:11,091 Well, since you don't usually reach for the sugar-free, 279 00:11:11,175 --> 00:11:12,801 I guess I should reward that. 280 00:11:12,885 --> 00:11:14,303 This time, I'll allow it. 281 00:11:23,020 --> 00:11:26,315 Oh, my God, I—I'm gonna head to my room really quickly. 282 00:11:26,398 --> 00:11:27,399 Are you good here? 283 00:11:27,483 --> 00:11:28,650 - Ugh, I don't know. 284 00:11:28,734 --> 00:11:30,819 I don't know. I don't know. 285 00:11:30,903 --> 00:11:33,071 - Hey. 286 00:11:33,155 --> 00:11:36,783 You're gonna kill tomorrow. 287 00:11:36,867 --> 00:11:38,327 - Thanks. 288 00:11:38,410 --> 00:11:40,537 - OK. Good night. 289 00:11:43,123 --> 00:11:44,666 - I know. 290 00:12:10,901 --> 00:12:13,278 - Good morning, New York City. 291 00:12:13,362 --> 00:12:14,821 It's hotter than hell out there, 292 00:12:14,905 --> 00:12:16,657 but thankfully, we've got some sweet relief 293 00:12:16,698 --> 00:12:19,535 from the diva herself, Deborah Vance. 294 00:12:19,576 --> 00:12:22,829 She's finally laying it all out there tonight at MSG. 295 00:12:22,913 --> 00:12:24,498 And I'd tell you to get your tickets now, 296 00:12:24,540 --> 00:12:27,167 but everyone knows the show sold out in record time. 297 00:12:27,251 --> 00:12:28,544 So if you want to bear witness, 298 00:12:28,627 --> 00:12:30,921 you better find a scalper, stat. 299 00:12:35,551 --> 00:12:36,885 - You know, I realized you're right. 300 00:12:36,927 --> 00:12:38,053 I don't know what it's like 301 00:12:38,136 --> 00:12:39,680 being a young person with friends. 302 00:12:39,763 --> 00:12:41,890 I have one friend, and she's 70. 303 00:12:41,932 --> 00:12:43,350 - Funny. 304 00:12:43,433 --> 00:12:45,060 - I've been living with Deborah over the past few years, 305 00:12:45,143 --> 00:12:47,187 so the show would be about that— 306 00:12:47,271 --> 00:12:48,897 two women from different generations 307 00:12:48,939 --> 00:12:50,566 who live together and become friends. 308 00:12:50,649 --> 00:12:52,025 - OK, go on. 309 00:12:52,109 --> 00:12:53,944 - I have a ton of episode ideas already. 310 00:12:54,027 --> 00:12:56,071 Like, imagine you're trying to hook up with someone, 311 00:12:56,154 --> 00:12:58,240 but your roommate is in the next room on speakerphone 312 00:12:58,282 --> 00:13:00,242 'cause she literally doesn't know how to turn it off. 313 00:13:00,284 --> 00:13:03,704 Oh, my God, I can see that. 314 00:13:03,787 --> 00:13:06,707 - They butt heads a ton on politics 315 00:13:06,790 --> 00:13:11,336 and etiquette and fashion, but... 316 00:13:11,420 --> 00:13:13,213 at the end of the day, they help each other 317 00:13:13,297 --> 00:13:16,174 see the world differently, and... 318 00:13:16,258 --> 00:13:18,093 they both become better people for it. 319 00:13:18,176 --> 00:13:20,429 - Ava, I love this. 320 00:13:20,470 --> 00:13:21,888 I love this. 321 00:13:21,972 --> 00:13:24,057 It's based off of real experiences you've had, 322 00:13:24,141 --> 00:13:26,685 clear character games, but still IP. 323 00:13:26,768 --> 00:13:28,020 Can you do me a favor? 324 00:13:28,103 --> 00:13:29,563 Can you please write a one-pager? 325 00:13:29,646 --> 00:13:31,565 - I already did it. I'll send it right now. 326 00:13:31,648 --> 00:13:32,691 - Amazing. 327 00:13:32,774 --> 00:13:33,775 Well, turns out, we're only doing 328 00:13:33,859 --> 00:13:35,277 one comedy pilot this year, 329 00:13:35,319 --> 00:13:37,029 so a lot of people have to weigh in. 330 00:13:37,112 --> 00:13:38,864 But I'm going to do my very best to push it through. 331 00:13:38,947 --> 00:13:40,449 Stay tuned. 332 00:13:40,532 --> 00:13:43,285 - Great. 333 00:13:48,165 --> 00:13:50,834 - She's here. - Oh, oh, oh! 334 00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:52,794 - Hi, my Little Debbies. 335 00:13:52,836 --> 00:13:53,962 How are we? 336 00:13:54,046 --> 00:13:55,631 - Well, not great. 337 00:13:55,672 --> 00:13:57,424 None of us could get tickets. 338 00:13:57,466 --> 00:13:59,426 We were trying to find scalpers to buy some, 339 00:13:59,509 --> 00:14:00,969 but we couldn't find any. 340 00:14:01,011 --> 00:14:02,137 - None of you? 341 00:14:02,179 --> 00:14:04,431 - No. They sold out too fast. 342 00:14:04,473 --> 00:14:06,183 - That's terrible. 343 00:14:06,266 --> 00:14:07,684 Damien, you know, we gotta help them out. 344 00:14:07,768 --> 00:14:09,144 - On it. - Don't forget. 345 00:14:09,227 --> 00:14:10,479 I'm live streaming the whole show 346 00:14:10,562 --> 00:14:12,981 on Deborah Plus. 347 00:14:13,065 --> 00:14:15,901 Love you. Love you guys. 348 00:14:15,984 --> 00:14:19,279 - Oh. 349 00:14:25,369 --> 00:14:27,329 - Oh, and I talked to the video playback guy, 350 00:14:27,412 --> 00:14:28,497 so we're all set there. 351 00:14:28,580 --> 00:14:30,457 - Fabulous dabulous. 352 00:14:34,670 --> 00:14:38,256 - I am addicted to carrots. Yum. 353 00:14:38,340 --> 00:14:39,341 - The job at "Late Night" 354 00:14:39,424 --> 00:14:40,759 wasn't all it was cracked up to be. 355 00:14:40,842 --> 00:14:42,260 It's not that much fun to do something 356 00:14:42,344 --> 00:14:44,680 no woman has done before, except George Michael. 357 00:14:44,721 --> 00:14:46,014 That was fun. - It's great. 358 00:14:46,098 --> 00:14:47,974 - Now, I know it's crazy to go back now, 359 00:14:48,058 --> 00:14:49,643 but is Ricky Martin funnier? 360 00:14:49,726 --> 00:14:50,811 - Well, it depends. 361 00:14:50,894 --> 00:14:54,022 Have you had sex with Ricky Martin? 362 00:14:54,064 --> 00:14:55,148 Wow. 363 00:14:55,232 --> 00:14:56,358 She bangs, indeed. 364 00:14:56,441 --> 00:14:58,568 You are overthinking, OK? 365 00:14:58,652 --> 00:15:00,195 Don't change a thing. The hay's in the barn, doll. 366 00:15:00,237 --> 00:15:01,905 - OK, OK, OK, OK, OK. 367 00:15:01,988 --> 00:15:03,365 - Hey. - Hey. 368 00:15:03,407 --> 00:15:05,158 - So MSG just flagged that they've opened the doors, 369 00:15:05,242 --> 00:15:07,869 but they're not seeing the foot traffic they normally do. 370 00:15:07,953 --> 00:15:10,038 - That's what felt off. I don't hear a crowd. 371 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:12,040 - Mm. - Well, what is going on? 372 00:15:12,082 --> 00:15:13,875 I mean, is there a subway strike or something? 373 00:15:13,959 --> 00:15:15,377 - I don't think so. 374 00:15:15,419 --> 00:15:16,795 - It looks like there's no issue 375 00:15:16,878 --> 00:15:18,338 with the subways or transportation or anything. 376 00:15:18,422 --> 00:15:19,715 - Yeah, there's no protest. 377 00:15:19,756 --> 00:15:21,049 - You know, I can't prove it, 378 00:15:21,091 --> 00:15:22,884 but I know that Joy Behar is behind this. 379 00:15:22,926 --> 00:15:26,388 She has come from me for the last time, I swear to God. 380 00:15:26,430 --> 00:15:27,681 - Come on. 381 00:15:27,764 --> 00:15:29,808 - OK, I think we should spread out. 382 00:15:48,201 --> 00:15:50,120 - Excuse me. 383 00:15:50,203 --> 00:15:52,456 Have you seen anyone? 384 00:15:54,958 --> 00:15:58,962 - Deborah, can you come with me? 385 00:16:26,364 --> 00:16:27,616 Looks like I'm in trouble 386 00:16:27,657 --> 00:16:29,910 if you're doing crowd work tonight. 387 00:16:33,371 --> 00:16:35,415 Hi, Deb. 388 00:16:35,457 --> 00:16:37,959 You made it really easy for me to buy this show out 389 00:16:38,043 --> 00:16:40,086 when you made your ticket prices so low. 390 00:16:40,170 --> 00:16:43,298 I appreciate that. 391 00:16:43,381 --> 00:16:44,716 - Why? 392 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:48,303 - Because I want you to stop. 393 00:16:48,345 --> 00:16:51,139 For months, your heroic exit was the first thing 394 00:16:51,181 --> 00:16:53,475 I heard about every single day. 395 00:16:53,558 --> 00:16:55,852 It was a fucking nightmare for me. 396 00:16:55,936 --> 00:16:58,939 I got questions about it in every interview, 397 00:16:59,022 --> 00:17:01,650 almost lost my board's trust. 398 00:17:01,733 --> 00:17:03,860 I had to reduce my bonus package. 399 00:17:03,944 --> 00:17:06,196 And things have finally quieted down. 400 00:17:06,279 --> 00:17:12,118 So the last thing I need is you bringing it all back up again. 401 00:17:12,202 --> 00:17:15,997 - So, what? 402 00:17:18,625 --> 00:17:21,920 You think you can just silence me forever? 403 00:17:22,003 --> 00:17:24,923 - I'm gonna try. 404 00:17:25,006 --> 00:17:27,008 I have an NDA, and I want you to sign it. 405 00:17:27,092 --> 00:17:29,469 - You'll get a big payout. 406 00:17:29,553 --> 00:17:33,098 And all you have to do is agree to never speak publicly 407 00:17:33,181 --> 00:17:36,351 about "Late Night" or me ever again. 408 00:17:36,434 --> 00:17:40,146 If you don't sign, I promise you 409 00:17:40,230 --> 00:17:44,317 I will do whatever I have to do to make you stop. 410 00:17:44,401 --> 00:17:46,319 I'll keep buying every ticket. 411 00:17:46,403 --> 00:17:51,825 I'll use every possible outlet to make you seem unreliable. 412 00:17:51,908 --> 00:17:54,578 So be smart about this. 413 00:17:54,661 --> 00:17:57,873 Do you really want to spend your golden years 414 00:17:57,914 --> 00:18:00,166 fighting a losing battle? 415 00:18:11,678 --> 00:18:14,389 - Fuck your NDA, 416 00:18:14,472 --> 00:18:16,933 and fuck you. 417 00:18:22,188 --> 00:18:24,900 Bastard! 418 00:18:24,983 --> 00:18:27,235 - This is bullshit. He needs to get a life. 419 00:18:27,319 --> 00:18:29,237 And if I'm telling you you need to get a life, 420 00:18:29,279 --> 00:18:31,573 you are a fucking loser! 421 00:18:31,656 --> 00:18:32,908 - Yeah, no offense. 422 00:18:32,991 --> 00:18:34,659 - Siri, google "how to sink a superyacht." 423 00:18:34,743 --> 00:18:35,869 No AI! 424 00:18:35,952 --> 00:18:37,203 - This has gotta be illegal, right? 425 00:18:38,580 --> 00:18:39,873 We gotta call the lawyers, is what we gotta do. 426 00:18:39,915 --> 00:18:41,249 What is it? What is it? 427 00:18:41,333 --> 00:18:42,584 It's not racketeering, but it's close to that. 428 00:18:42,667 --> 00:18:43,919 - This happens. 429 00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:45,420 Remember that one time 50 Cent bought out 430 00:18:45,503 --> 00:18:47,339 the entire Ja Rule concert just to fuck with him? 431 00:18:47,422 --> 00:18:48,673 - This is insanity. 432 00:18:48,757 --> 00:18:50,091 We need to go to the press and expose him. 433 00:18:50,133 --> 00:18:51,384 - Yes, we need to do a media alert. 434 00:18:51,468 --> 00:18:52,510 We need to do a press conference. 435 00:18:52,594 --> 00:18:53,887 - We need to kill him. 436 00:18:53,970 --> 00:18:55,221 We need to Luigi his ass! 437 00:18:55,305 --> 00:18:56,973 - OK, stop, stop. Now, listen, listen. 438 00:18:57,057 --> 00:18:59,976 We're gonna do the show, and we're gonna do it for free. 439 00:19:00,060 --> 00:19:01,561 That way, he can't stop the ticket sales, 440 00:19:01,645 --> 00:19:02,896 and he can't mess with it, 441 00:19:02,979 --> 00:19:04,272 and anybody who wants to come can come. 442 00:19:04,356 --> 00:19:06,066 - This was the only date that MSG had. 443 00:19:06,149 --> 00:19:07,108 - I know that. 444 00:19:07,192 --> 00:19:08,443 I want to do it in Central Park. 445 00:19:08,526 --> 00:19:09,444 - Oh, OK. 446 00:19:09,527 --> 00:19:10,487 Yeah. Yes. 447 00:19:10,570 --> 00:19:11,613 I'll call the Parks Department. 448 00:19:11,655 --> 00:19:12,989 We can target the springtime. We can— 449 00:19:13,073 --> 00:19:14,282 - No, this weekend. 450 00:19:14,324 --> 00:19:15,784 - This weekend. Well— 451 00:19:15,867 --> 00:19:17,661 - What about the MSG record? - Forget that. 452 00:19:17,744 --> 00:19:20,413 I just—I just need to do the show. 453 00:19:21,581 --> 00:19:23,291 - Yeah, but, Deborah, you have costume changes. 454 00:19:23,333 --> 00:19:24,793 You have pyrotechnics. You have a hydraulic lift. 455 00:19:24,876 --> 00:19:26,294 - No, no, forget all that. 456 00:19:26,336 --> 00:19:27,796 Just me and a mic. 457 00:19:27,879 --> 00:19:30,256 And I want to do it now. 458 00:19:30,340 --> 00:19:32,092 - OK, well, then we'll figure it out. 459 00:19:32,175 --> 00:19:33,635 Right, Jimmy? 460 00:19:33,718 --> 00:19:35,971 - Yes. I will start making some calls. 461 00:19:36,012 --> 00:19:37,597 - I'll text my camp friends. 462 00:19:37,681 --> 00:19:38,974 They run New York. 463 00:19:39,057 --> 00:19:40,767 - OK, there was a show last night in the park. 464 00:19:40,850 --> 00:19:41,935 Maybe we could use their stage. 465 00:19:42,018 --> 00:19:43,770 - Whoa. Let me get this straight. 466 00:19:43,853 --> 00:19:45,981 You want us to put together a free stand-up show 467 00:19:46,022 --> 00:19:49,317 in Central Park with no prior planning, no infrastructure? 468 00:19:49,401 --> 00:19:51,653 And you want this to happen in three days? 469 00:19:51,736 --> 00:19:53,446 - That's right. - Yeah. 470 00:19:53,530 --> 00:19:55,824 - God, I love this business. 471 00:19:55,907 --> 00:19:59,285 It's 90% the most delusional, lazy people 472 00:19:59,369 --> 00:20:00,662 you ever seen in your life 473 00:20:00,745 --> 00:20:04,040 and 10% the most delusional workaholics. 474 00:20:04,124 --> 00:20:05,834 And I, for one, am proud and honored 475 00:20:05,875 --> 00:20:07,836 to be part of that latter 10%. 476 00:20:07,919 --> 00:20:10,839 Let's go. Let's fucking go! 477 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,215 - Yes, Randi, go on! 478 00:20:22,809 --> 00:20:24,644 - Look, look, just hear me out. 479 00:20:24,728 --> 00:20:26,021 Just hear me out. - I can't do it. 480 00:20:26,104 --> 00:20:27,772 I'm sorry, miss. - No, listen, please. 481 00:20:27,856 --> 00:20:30,358 All you have to do is hold the stage through the weekend. 482 00:20:30,442 --> 00:20:32,694 I'll pay a rental fee. I'll pay all your overtime. 483 00:20:32,736 --> 00:20:34,696 Just name your price. - It's not about the money. 484 00:20:34,779 --> 00:20:37,657 We have to break all this down and get it out of here by noon. 485 00:20:37,741 --> 00:20:39,534 - Excuse me, do you two beautiful boys 486 00:20:39,617 --> 00:20:40,785 know who you're talking to? 487 00:20:40,869 --> 00:20:42,328 That is the queen of comedy! 488 00:20:42,412 --> 00:20:44,122 - I don't care if she's the queen of freaking Sheba. 489 00:20:44,205 --> 00:20:46,374 She's not getting the stage. We have to pack it up. 490 00:20:46,458 --> 00:20:48,043 Boss' orders. - Well, who's your boss? 491 00:20:48,084 --> 00:20:49,627 Where is he? Can I talk to him? 492 00:20:49,711 --> 00:20:52,297 - Boss. - Well, well, well. 493 00:20:52,380 --> 00:20:55,175 Turns out, the doctor was a woman. 494 00:20:55,258 --> 00:20:57,010 - Oh, my God. - Weed? 495 00:20:57,093 --> 00:20:58,803 - In the flesh, Ava Daniels. 496 00:20:58,887 --> 00:21:00,722 Fall Out Boy rocked the park last night. 497 00:21:00,764 --> 00:21:02,265 Now we just gotta strike this whole rig, 498 00:21:02,348 --> 00:21:05,393 get it back up in Topeka by Tuesday, 0600. 499 00:21:05,435 --> 00:21:07,228 - OK, we understand that, but if you could just push— 500 00:21:07,270 --> 00:21:09,856 - Push? No, it's a domino effect, white boy. 501 00:21:09,939 --> 00:21:11,566 This is one of the tightest schedules 502 00:21:11,608 --> 00:21:13,026 I've ever constructed. 503 00:21:13,109 --> 00:21:15,361 They're playing 56 domestic dates 504 00:21:15,445 --> 00:21:16,946 before we hop the pond to Glasto. 505 00:21:17,030 --> 00:21:19,616 - Weed, listen, I know we've had our differences 506 00:21:19,699 --> 00:21:22,786 in the past, but I was supposed to play the Garden, 507 00:21:22,869 --> 00:21:25,413 and then I got screwed over. 508 00:21:25,497 --> 00:21:26,456 Please. 509 00:21:26,539 --> 00:21:28,541 I just need to say my piece. 510 00:21:28,625 --> 00:21:31,336 - Deb, I'm gonna stop you right there. 511 00:21:31,419 --> 00:21:34,214 Keep this stage up through the weekend. 512 00:21:34,297 --> 00:21:37,008 Get them to Topeka in, what, 39 hours? 513 00:21:37,092 --> 00:21:38,927 That'd take a miracle. 514 00:21:38,968 --> 00:21:41,346 It's lucky for you, though... 515 00:21:41,429 --> 00:21:45,183 You're looking at a miracle worker. 516 00:21:45,266 --> 00:21:47,769 - So— - When you canned me, 517 00:21:47,811 --> 00:21:49,729 that was a first in my entire career. 518 00:21:49,813 --> 00:21:51,189 I was shell-shocked. 519 00:21:51,272 --> 00:21:53,608 And I am embarrassed to admit I did relapse. 520 00:21:53,691 --> 00:21:55,068 I went completely dark. 521 00:21:55,151 --> 00:21:57,737 I woke up flat on my back in a bed, 522 00:21:57,821 --> 00:22:00,532 not a chair, 523 00:22:00,615 --> 00:22:04,828 in a motel in Juárez. 524 00:22:04,911 --> 00:22:07,288 My hair was in cornrows. 525 00:22:07,372 --> 00:22:09,624 My eyebrows had been burned off. 526 00:22:09,707 --> 00:22:13,795 And I was holding an Apple TV remote, but... 527 00:22:13,837 --> 00:22:18,591 all the room had was a Roku. 528 00:22:18,675 --> 00:22:20,468 What is that? 529 00:22:20,552 --> 00:22:24,973 I had no memory of the previous three months. 530 00:22:25,056 --> 00:22:27,350 And then my boy Pete Wentz called me back in. 531 00:22:27,433 --> 00:22:31,187 We did 14 grueling back-to-back shows in the South Atlantic. 532 00:22:31,271 --> 00:22:36,276 And then one morning in Omaha, Pete said to me, 533 00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:41,489 "Weed, oh, God, Weed, 534 00:22:41,531 --> 00:22:43,825 you're better than you've ever been." 535 00:22:43,908 --> 00:22:45,785 And I owe that to you, Deb. 536 00:22:45,869 --> 00:22:50,790 You gotta crash and burn before you can rise, sister. 537 00:22:51,875 --> 00:22:53,501 I'ma make this work for you. 538 00:22:53,585 --> 00:22:55,295 You can use our stage. - Oh. 539 00:22:55,378 --> 00:22:56,796 - Thank you so much. Thank you. 540 00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:59,174 - Hands off, bud! - Sorry! 541 00:22:59,257 --> 00:23:01,342 - Bring it in, Deb. Bring it in. 542 00:23:01,426 --> 00:23:03,511 Oh, Deb. - Thank you, Weed. 543 00:23:03,553 --> 00:23:05,180 - Deb, Deb, Debbie. 544 00:23:05,263 --> 00:23:07,348 There's only one thing that I can't allow, 545 00:23:07,390 --> 00:23:09,684 and that's a grievance from the Park Department. 546 00:23:09,726 --> 00:23:12,896 So you're gonna need to get a permit to perform. 547 00:23:12,979 --> 00:23:15,064 Without it, city's gonna shut you down anyway. 548 00:23:15,148 --> 00:23:16,858 - No problem. We are on it, Ms. Weed. 549 00:23:16,941 --> 00:23:18,026 - Go! 550 00:23:18,109 --> 00:23:19,235 - Oh! 551 00:23:22,071 --> 00:23:23,865 - You don't want to play the Garden anyway. 552 00:23:23,948 --> 00:23:25,575 Terrible load-out. 553 00:23:25,658 --> 00:23:27,577 - Thanks, Weed. - Mm-hmm. 554 00:23:30,163 --> 00:23:32,540 Love you, Deb! 555 00:23:32,582 --> 00:23:34,876 - Yeah, love you too. 556 00:23:36,711 --> 00:23:38,880 - She loves me. 557 00:23:47,430 --> 00:23:48,389 - Hey. 558 00:23:48,431 --> 00:23:50,141 - Hi. 559 00:23:50,225 --> 00:23:52,852 - This is pot. Can you believe it? 560 00:23:52,936 --> 00:23:55,563 - Yup. Can I come in? 561 00:23:55,647 --> 00:23:58,733 - Sure. Come in. 562 00:24:07,325 --> 00:24:09,744 - You know, after what Bob Lipka pulled last night, 563 00:24:09,827 --> 00:24:11,955 made me realize pretty much every stiff in a suit 564 00:24:12,038 --> 00:24:14,791 is a lying, selfish piece of shit. 565 00:24:14,874 --> 00:24:16,876 - Men are dogs, Deb. 566 00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:18,086 - But not you. 567 00:24:18,127 --> 00:24:19,379 We've been looking for someone to run 568 00:24:19,462 --> 00:24:20,964 the operations at the casino. 569 00:24:21,047 --> 00:24:24,050 So why don't you come work for me and Marcus at The Diva? 570 00:24:24,133 --> 00:24:25,593 - You mean it? 571 00:24:25,677 --> 00:24:28,096 - Now, listen, it wouldn't be like the Palmetto. 572 00:24:28,179 --> 00:24:30,598 This is a small, independently-owned casino. 573 00:24:30,682 --> 00:24:33,393 You'd have to be on the floor. You wouldn't be in the C-suite. 574 00:24:33,476 --> 00:24:34,936 - Oh, I hate the C-suite. 575 00:24:35,019 --> 00:24:36,813 You know me. I'm a man of the people. 576 00:24:36,896 --> 00:24:39,691 I want to be on the floor, shaking hands, slapping asses. 577 00:24:39,774 --> 00:24:41,109 - Well, you can't do that anymore. 578 00:24:41,192 --> 00:24:43,236 - Yeah, OK. Right. I forgot. 579 00:24:43,319 --> 00:24:45,863 - Now, I've run this by Marcus, and he's on board. 580 00:24:45,947 --> 00:24:47,740 He's always liked you better than I have anyway. 581 00:24:49,826 --> 00:24:51,035 - So what do you say? 582 00:24:54,038 --> 00:24:56,457 - I'd love to. 583 00:24:56,499 --> 00:24:58,626 This means the world to me. 584 00:25:01,546 --> 00:25:04,090 - Great, great. 585 00:25:04,173 --> 00:25:05,717 All right, I gotta go. 586 00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:07,260 I have to get as many people as possible into Central Park 587 00:25:07,343 --> 00:25:09,304 this weekend. - Whoa, whoa. What's going on? 588 00:25:09,387 --> 00:25:12,140 - I'm doing my show there, for free. 589 00:25:12,223 --> 00:25:13,308 - What? 590 00:25:13,391 --> 00:25:15,268 - So now I just gotta get the word out. 591 00:25:15,351 --> 00:25:17,103 - Wow. And you need people. 592 00:25:17,186 --> 00:25:19,314 - Yeah. - I'll get you people. 593 00:25:19,397 --> 00:25:21,649 I got my guys in Atlantic City, Mohegan Sun— 594 00:25:21,733 --> 00:25:24,360 we bus tourists in all the time. 595 00:25:24,444 --> 00:25:27,989 You give me the word, and I'll unleash The Marty. 596 00:25:28,031 --> 00:25:30,950 - OK, unleash away. 597 00:25:31,034 --> 00:25:33,494 - Hoo-ah! All right! 598 00:25:33,578 --> 00:25:34,996 We're back, baby. 599 00:25:35,079 --> 00:25:37,832 Mwah. 600 00:25:37,915 --> 00:25:39,292 OK, good, good. 601 00:25:39,375 --> 00:25:41,753 All right, now, lay off the lollipops. 602 00:25:41,836 --> 00:25:43,755 We drug test at The Diva. 603 00:25:46,090 --> 00:25:47,175 Thank you, boss! 604 00:25:47,258 --> 00:25:48,343 Will do. 605 00:25:52,889 --> 00:25:56,017 - You want a permit for this weekend, in Central Park? 606 00:25:56,059 --> 00:25:58,353 - Yes. 607 00:25:58,394 --> 00:26:02,607 It takes 30 days to process a permit in New York City, OK? 608 00:26:02,690 --> 00:26:04,692 There is nothing that I can do. 609 00:26:04,734 --> 00:26:07,028 - Please, look, this isn't just about a permit, all right? 610 00:26:07,070 --> 00:26:08,488 It's about sticking it to the man. 611 00:26:08,571 --> 00:26:09,864 - Yeah, and you could be a part of that. 612 00:26:09,947 --> 00:26:11,532 I mean, screw your boss. 613 00:26:11,574 --> 00:26:12,825 Go above his head. 614 00:26:12,909 --> 00:26:14,077 - My boss is a woman, 615 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:15,995 and we're in a relationship outside of work. 616 00:26:16,037 --> 00:26:18,748 And I don't feel comfortable keeping secrets from her. 617 00:26:18,831 --> 00:26:20,041 - That's beautiful. - We would never ask you 618 00:26:20,124 --> 00:26:21,209 to do that. - That's respectable 619 00:26:21,250 --> 00:26:22,210 and honorable. I love that. 620 00:26:22,293 --> 00:26:23,836 - We love gays. - Listen, 621 00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:25,588 if you've ever had a dream crushed, 622 00:26:25,671 --> 00:26:27,006 if you've ever been bullied... - Mm-hmm. 623 00:26:27,090 --> 00:26:28,174 - Then you know what Deborah Vance 624 00:26:28,257 --> 00:26:29,550 is going through right now. 625 00:26:29,592 --> 00:26:31,010 And we have the chance to right that wrong, 626 00:26:31,094 --> 00:26:32,345 to let her speak truth to power 627 00:26:32,428 --> 00:26:35,056 and not just for her, but for all people 628 00:26:35,139 --> 00:26:38,559 who have ever had their voices quieted by the powers that be. 629 00:26:38,601 --> 00:26:40,603 And if we don't, 630 00:26:40,686 --> 00:26:42,355 well, as Desmond Tutu said, 631 00:26:42,438 --> 00:26:45,733 "In situations of injustice, if we choose to be neutral, 632 00:26:45,817 --> 00:26:49,654 then we are siding with the oppressor," 633 00:26:49,737 --> 00:26:51,155 something like that. - Something like that. 634 00:26:51,239 --> 00:26:52,490 - Is that what he said? - Yeah. 635 00:26:52,573 --> 00:26:54,575 - Are you done with your Shondalogue? 636 00:26:54,659 --> 00:26:57,328 Listen, it's not gonna happen. 637 00:26:57,412 --> 00:26:58,579 And if she tries to perform, 638 00:26:58,663 --> 00:27:00,748 she will be escorted outside the park. 639 00:27:00,790 --> 00:27:02,083 Now, please leave. 640 00:27:02,166 --> 00:27:04,419 I have a well-deserved break I need to take. 641 00:27:04,460 --> 00:27:06,546 - We were trying to be nice. - Please, just— 642 00:27:06,629 --> 00:27:09,590 - Like I'm just gonna be giving them a damn permit. 643 00:27:09,674 --> 00:27:11,259 Listen to my girl. - Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 644 00:27:11,342 --> 00:27:12,760 - You could have said something about her sweater. 645 00:27:12,844 --> 00:27:13,886 - Are you listening to the "I've Xenit All," 646 00:27:13,970 --> 00:27:15,221 the "Xena" rewatch podcast? 647 00:27:15,304 --> 00:27:16,264 That's a great episode. 648 00:27:16,347 --> 00:27:17,807 - What? How you know about that? 649 00:27:17,890 --> 00:27:19,267 - They're about to talk about the pan flute. 650 00:27:19,350 --> 00:27:20,560 You know she played it practically? 651 00:27:20,643 --> 00:27:22,061 - This just came out five minutes ago. 652 00:27:22,145 --> 00:27:23,646 Boy, who are you? 653 00:27:23,729 --> 00:27:25,773 - Well, I've heard the episode because I produce the podcast. 654 00:27:25,815 --> 00:27:27,275 I represent Renee O'Connor. 655 00:27:27,316 --> 00:27:29,277 And the podcast was actually our idea. 656 00:27:29,360 --> 00:27:31,446 - His idea. He thought of it. - No, we're a team. 657 00:27:31,487 --> 00:27:33,114 - He's being humble. He's being humble. 658 00:27:33,156 --> 00:27:35,616 - Child, I'm obsessed with "Xena." 659 00:27:35,700 --> 00:27:36,909 Obsessed. 660 00:27:36,993 --> 00:27:38,744 I wore the leather armbands to the prom. 661 00:27:38,828 --> 00:27:40,621 - Yes! - OK, pop off. 662 00:27:40,663 --> 00:27:43,291 - Baby, I even named my damn daughter Aphrodite. 663 00:27:43,332 --> 00:27:44,917 - Oh, beautiful! - Aww! 664 00:27:45,001 --> 00:27:46,919 - You think she likes that? She don't. 665 00:27:47,003 --> 00:27:48,421 - Ah, yes. 666 00:27:48,463 --> 00:27:50,590 - Are they really doing a live show at the Acropolis, 667 00:27:50,673 --> 00:27:51,632 or was that just a joke? 668 00:27:51,716 --> 00:27:53,092 I couldn't tell. - I'm not sure. 669 00:27:53,176 --> 00:27:54,969 I could FaceTime Renee right now, 670 00:27:55,052 --> 00:27:57,305 and you could ask her. - What? What? Oh, my God, yes. 671 00:27:57,346 --> 00:27:58,639 - Actually, you know what? 672 00:27:58,723 --> 00:27:59,974 I'm so busy trying to get this permit, mm. 673 00:28:00,057 --> 00:28:01,267 - No, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait. 674 00:28:01,350 --> 00:28:03,394 Shh, shh, chill. Hey, hold it, hold it. 675 00:28:03,478 --> 00:28:05,646 Listen— 676 00:28:05,688 --> 00:28:06,939 she nosy. 677 00:28:07,023 --> 00:28:09,275 I think I can transfer the permits to you guys. 678 00:28:09,358 --> 00:28:10,401 - Yes! - Thank you so much. 679 00:28:10,485 --> 00:28:11,944 - Thank you. - Thank you. 680 00:28:12,028 --> 00:28:15,281 - Baby, Xenites unite. 681 00:28:19,202 --> 00:28:21,120 - And those northern lights will be visible 682 00:28:21,204 --> 00:28:22,497 for the next week. 683 00:28:22,538 --> 00:28:23,956 So, Al, maybe we'll get something of a show. 684 00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:26,501 - Weather's looking pretty darn good— 685 00:28:28,461 --> 00:28:30,838 Is that Deborah Vance? 686 00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:32,507 - Should we let her in? 687 00:28:32,548 --> 00:28:34,342 - Sure. 688 00:28:36,594 --> 00:28:38,513 So basically, Deborah, he Ja Ruled you. 689 00:28:38,596 --> 00:28:39,972 - Exactly, exactly. 690 00:28:40,014 --> 00:28:42,725 What 50 Cent did to Ja Rule, Bob Lipka did to me. 691 00:28:42,808 --> 00:28:43,726 - Yeah, men are dogs. 692 00:28:43,809 --> 00:28:44,852 - It's despicable. 693 00:28:44,894 --> 00:28:46,020 - But I'm reclaiming my time. 694 00:28:46,103 --> 00:28:47,688 And I'm hoping that you, America, 695 00:28:47,730 --> 00:28:49,440 will come out to hear it. 696 00:28:49,524 --> 00:28:51,192 - If you are in the tri-state area, 697 00:28:51,234 --> 00:28:52,652 get out to Central Park. 698 00:28:52,693 --> 00:28:55,112 See Deborah Vance, the one and only. 699 00:28:55,196 --> 00:28:56,989 - You like comedy? - Free shows at the park. 700 00:28:57,073 --> 00:28:58,282 Central Park live. 701 00:28:58,366 --> 00:28:59,450 Deborah Vance live in Central Park. 702 00:28:59,534 --> 00:29:00,952 - Here you go. Free comedy show. 703 00:29:01,035 --> 00:29:02,828 You like comedy? New York City. 704 00:29:02,912 --> 00:29:05,122 - You guys seriously have to go see Deborah in Central Park. 705 00:29:05,206 --> 00:29:08,125 She's my best friend ever, ever and my literal idol. 706 00:29:08,209 --> 00:29:10,378 And if you don't go see her, you're a loser. 707 00:29:10,461 --> 00:29:12,213 - I agree. 708 00:29:12,255 --> 00:29:13,839 - Free comedy show, guys. 709 00:29:13,923 --> 00:29:15,716 - My daughter's best friend and mentor, Deborah Vance, live. 710 00:29:15,758 --> 00:29:16,884 Come on. 711 00:29:16,968 --> 00:29:18,219 My daughter's best friend. Take this! 712 00:29:18,261 --> 00:29:19,345 You're going to the show! 713 00:29:19,428 --> 00:29:20,846 - Deborah Vance, y'all. 714 00:29:20,930 --> 00:29:22,265 - So as you know, Deborah and I 715 00:29:22,348 --> 00:29:24,058 have had our ups and downs. 716 00:29:24,141 --> 00:29:26,769 - But at the end of the day, she's a really great girl. 717 00:29:26,852 --> 00:29:28,604 And it's not cool what's been done to her. 718 00:29:28,688 --> 00:29:30,940 - Mm. - So get out to Central Park 719 00:29:31,023 --> 00:29:34,569 and hear her side of the story 'cause she's funny as hell 720 00:29:34,652 --> 00:29:36,237 and silencing women is never OK. 721 00:29:45,037 --> 00:29:46,414 She wears a wig too. 722 00:29:46,497 --> 00:29:47,790 She wears a sheitel. 723 00:29:47,873 --> 00:29:49,083 - Welcome back. 724 00:29:49,125 --> 00:29:50,710 We have a very special surprise guest. 725 00:29:50,793 --> 00:29:52,378 Deborah Vance is here to promote 726 00:29:52,461 --> 00:29:54,422 her free show in Central Park. 727 00:29:54,463 --> 00:29:57,758 But she was only allowed off the black list 728 00:29:57,800 --> 00:29:58,926 on one condition. 729 00:29:58,968 --> 00:30:01,220 - Joy. - Yeah? 730 00:30:01,304 --> 00:30:03,180 - I have to apologize. 731 00:30:03,264 --> 00:30:06,267 You would know the difference between a Margaux and a Merlot 732 00:30:06,309 --> 00:30:08,102 if I smashed it over your head. 733 00:30:08,144 --> 00:30:10,771 And I think that toasting with a glass of iced tea 734 00:30:10,855 --> 00:30:12,857 is just pure class. 735 00:30:12,940 --> 00:30:15,026 - Thank you very much. 736 00:30:15,109 --> 00:30:18,362 And I'm sorry I got you put on the terrorist watch list. 737 00:30:18,446 --> 00:30:19,989 - That was you? - Yeah. 738 00:30:22,742 --> 00:30:24,076 Good one. 739 00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:27,121 - Thank God I don't have to hear about this anymore. 740 00:30:29,248 --> 00:30:30,833 - SnackWell's snack well when in a well you snack. 741 00:30:30,916 --> 00:30:32,960 SnackWell's snack well when in a well you snack. 742 00:30:33,044 --> 00:30:34,462 SnackWell's snack well— 743 00:30:34,503 --> 00:30:36,464 Yeah, Rick, I'm getting a little bit of feedback 744 00:30:36,547 --> 00:30:37,965 on the right. 745 00:30:38,007 --> 00:30:42,094 - Boss, boss, boss, boss, it's the network for you two. 746 00:30:42,178 --> 00:30:43,262 - Hello? - Hi. 747 00:30:43,346 --> 00:30:44,472 - Hey, guys. 748 00:30:44,513 --> 00:30:47,642 So I do have some unfortunate news. 749 00:30:47,725 --> 00:30:50,436 We're not going to be ordering a script. 750 00:30:50,519 --> 00:30:52,772 - Oh, man. 751 00:30:52,855 --> 00:30:54,649 - That's really sad to hear. 752 00:30:54,690 --> 00:30:57,068 - Because we are ordering a pilot. 753 00:30:57,151 --> 00:31:01,447 We are committing to shooting a pilot for this dang thing. 754 00:31:01,530 --> 00:31:03,824 - Holy shit! - Oh, my God! 755 00:31:03,866 --> 00:31:05,159 Thank you guys. 756 00:31:05,242 --> 00:31:07,161 - There's more to come, but I just wanted to call 757 00:31:07,203 --> 00:31:08,663 and let you guys know. 758 00:31:08,704 --> 00:31:11,499 - Hey, Ava, congratulations. 759 00:31:11,540 --> 00:31:13,292 - OK. - OK. Thank you. Bye. 760 00:31:13,376 --> 00:31:14,460 Oh, my God! 761 00:31:14,543 --> 00:31:15,670 - Hey! 762 00:31:15,711 --> 00:31:17,630 Ava sold her show! - Oh! 763 00:31:17,713 --> 00:31:19,674 Whoo! 764 00:31:19,715 --> 00:31:22,843 Oh, my God! - Yes. 765 00:31:24,553 --> 00:31:26,180 - Free comedy. 766 00:31:26,263 --> 00:31:28,391 Deborah Vance on the Great Lawn. 767 00:31:28,474 --> 00:31:32,144 See Deborah Vance? Right down to the Great Lawn. 768 00:31:32,186 --> 00:31:34,146 - Deborah Vance, best comedian in the world. 769 00:31:34,230 --> 00:31:35,856 Come get your merch right over here. 770 00:31:35,898 --> 00:31:37,024 Shirts, hats... 771 00:31:37,108 --> 00:31:38,651 - Hey, how's it going? Good to see you. 772 00:31:38,734 --> 00:31:40,861 Try the hat on. 773 00:31:40,903 --> 00:31:42,530 - Just don't get spooked if the laughs don't sound the same. 774 00:31:42,613 --> 00:31:44,031 - Yeah, yeah, you're right. - We're outdoors. 775 00:31:44,115 --> 00:31:45,658 Just remember that. - Deborah, hey. 776 00:31:45,741 --> 00:31:47,868 So— - No. What? What now? 777 00:31:47,910 --> 00:31:50,329 - They've closed the entrance to the park at 72nd and 5th. 778 00:31:50,413 --> 00:31:51,831 - What? Why? 779 00:31:51,872 --> 00:31:53,332 That's the entrance closest to the Lawn. 780 00:31:53,416 --> 00:31:54,709 People won't be able to get in. 781 00:31:54,750 --> 00:31:57,545 - They closed it because it's already overcrowded. 782 00:31:57,586 --> 00:31:58,963 - Oh. - There are people 783 00:31:59,046 --> 00:32:01,382 spilling onto the bike path and the trails. 784 00:32:01,424 --> 00:32:02,883 The Parks Department doesn't know for sure, 785 00:32:02,925 --> 00:32:04,635 but my girl is estimating that there are over 786 00:32:04,719 --> 00:32:06,220 30,000 people here right now. 787 00:32:06,303 --> 00:32:07,722 - Holy shit. 788 00:32:08,931 --> 00:32:10,683 - They came. 789 00:32:10,766 --> 00:32:11,892 And you know what? 790 00:32:11,934 --> 00:32:15,229 For stand-up in the park, that's a record. 791 00:32:15,312 --> 00:32:17,982 - Now, that's a pretty good lede to an obituary. 792 00:32:25,531 --> 00:32:27,199 - OK, everybody. Everybody, come on. 793 00:32:27,283 --> 00:32:28,701 Gather, quick, quick, quick, quick. 794 00:32:28,784 --> 00:32:30,911 Everybody, everybody, everybody, come here. 795 00:32:30,953 --> 00:32:33,122 Come here. 796 00:32:33,205 --> 00:32:37,042 I couldn't have done this without you. 797 00:32:37,126 --> 00:32:38,586 I love you. 798 00:32:38,669 --> 00:32:40,921 Thank you so much. 799 00:32:40,963 --> 00:32:42,256 Thank you. 800 00:32:44,633 --> 00:32:45,593 - I love you. 801 00:32:47,970 --> 00:32:52,600 - Please welcome to the stage mi amiga Deborah Vance. 802 00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:28,761 - How are you feeling tonight, New York City? 803 00:33:34,517 --> 00:33:36,811 First I would like to acknowledge, 804 00:33:36,894 --> 00:33:39,647 this is stolen land. 805 00:33:39,730 --> 00:33:41,190 - Oh, my God. 806 00:33:41,273 --> 00:33:43,317 I didn't even tell her to say that. 807 00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:46,028 - Now, if you came to the park tonight for Deborah Vance, 808 00:33:46,111 --> 00:33:47,154 you're in the right place. 809 00:33:49,406 --> 00:33:53,494 If you came to the park tonight for anonymous gay sex, 810 00:33:53,536 --> 00:33:55,871 you're still in the right place.