1 00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:34,720 You look nervous. 2 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:39,400 No, I'm not. I'm just... 3 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:42,360 I don't know. 4 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:45,000 It feels big. 5 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:46,640 You'll be fine. 6 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:50,360 You're always fine. 7 00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:52,840 The only positive about having a hyperactive brain 8 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:55,000 is it's never as bad as you expect it to be. 9 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:56,800 Great. 10 00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:58,720 Good pep talk, Mum. 11 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:03,200 Here. 12 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:06,640 Got you something. 13 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:12,480 Finally. 14 00:01:14,039 --> 00:01:15,120 A way out. 15 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:17,000 Shut up! 16 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:20,440 It was your father's sgian dubh. 17 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:23,160 - You wear it in your sock. - Yeah, I know. 18 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,120 Can it go via the left ventricle? 19 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:28,840 You're making a lot of death jokes 20 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:30,680 for a man getting hitched in a few hours. 21 00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:31,840 No, I'm fine. 22 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:35,080 I want to do this. It's just... 23 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:36,960 I don't know. 24 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:39,240 I want it to work out. 25 00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:42,440 Hmm. 26 00:01:42,479 --> 00:01:46,680 I mean, your marriage worked out in the end, did it not? 27 00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:48,720 Meh. 28 00:01:48,759 --> 00:01:52,240 He got ill so quickly, I could never really tell. 29 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:55,759 He always made a lot of effort too, which put me off. 30 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:58,240 Your dad was a lot more fun when he was spurning our dates 31 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:01,400 and never calling me back. 32 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:03,360 That's why I got on so well with Maura. 33 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,360 We never signed a contract 34 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:07,440 saying we expected more from one another. 35 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:10,560 Are you missing her? 36 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:14,160 I miss them both. 37 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:18,600 Yeah. 38 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,240 What about Ruben? 39 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:26,400 Any feelings there? 40 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:30,480 Uh... 41 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:34,040 Yeah, I suppose. 42 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:35,200 Maybe a... 43 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:38,160 small part of me, you know, 44 00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:40,720 misses him. 45 00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:43,880 Well, that's something. 46 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:47,079 Now what do you mean, "That's something"? 47 00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:48,200 No, I just... 48 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:51,520 Look. 49 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,240 I don't know how to tell you this. 50 00:02:56,079 --> 00:02:57,320 But he's on his way. 51 00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:01,720 You're joking? 52 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:05,200 No. He found out this morning. I don't know how. 53 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:08,480 But he'll be here any minute. 54 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:28,600 Niall. Come and say hi. 55 00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:56,360 Eighteen years. 56 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:59,280 I know it's only 20 minutes down the road, but still. 57 00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:02,880 What am I gonna do with all my excess cortisol? 58 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:08,720 Oh! Here. 59 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:11,520 I got you something. 60 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,200 A little moving-in present. 61 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,120 I was going to get "Number One Student," 62 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:19,080 but it was 20 pence a letter, and to be honest, 63 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:20,320 you haven't proved yourself yet. 64 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,440 Wow, big font. 65 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:26,120 Almost reads like an insult. 66 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:29,640 I love it. Thank you. 67 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:33,560 - How you feeling? - Yeah. 68 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:35,080 Pretty overwhelmed. 69 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:37,840 Just hope I find my people, you know. 70 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,920 You will. This place is full of nerds and virgins. 71 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:46,960 Embrace it, Niall. This is a fresh start. 72 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:49,400 A chance to figure out who you are a bit. 73 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:51,640 - Away from Ruben. - Oh, Mum, I don't know 74 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:53,400 why you keep bringing that up all the time. 75 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:56,880 - We're just close. - You're too close. Honestly. 76 00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:58,800 You should see the pair of you when you're together. 77 00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:00,760 You strut around town like you'll never pay taxes. 78 00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:03,840 - What's wrong with that? - It doesn't suit you, Niall. 79 00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:07,120 You're not a strutter. You don't have the legs for it. 80 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,400 He is gonna want to visit, Mum. 81 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:10,720 I know, but just... 82 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:15,160 bed in a little bit before inviting him, yeah? 83 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:17,760 I just think it would be good for you to see what life is like 84 00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:19,960 without his light blinding your eyes. 85 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,000 Shall we? 86 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:36,320 Go make friends now. 87 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:38,120 I don't want to come back here in four years' time 88 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:39,480 to find you conversing with a pot plant. 89 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:41,120 I will. 90 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:45,880 And don't call Ruben! 91 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:49,880 Jesus, Mum, I won't. I'll be fine without him. 92 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:51,680 I promise. 93 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,040 Just a minute! 94 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:10,720 Hi. What's your name? 95 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:13,720 - I'm Niall. - I'm Joanna. 96 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:16,520 Why are you sitting in the dark? 97 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:19,600 Oh, no, I wasn't. 98 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:23,720 Well, I was, but I was having a power nap, you know, 99 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,400 ahead of a big Freshers. 100 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:28,400 You nap in your shoes? 101 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:31,520 Yeah. 102 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:34,720 It's a time-saving thing, 103 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:37,200 so I can wake up and hit the bar straight away, you know? 104 00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:39,960 Right. 105 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:42,120 Anyway, wanna join? 106 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,120 We're doing pre-drinks, then we're going to the union. 107 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:45,480 Non-stop New Wave all night. 108 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:48,480 Yeah. Yeah, I love New Wave. 109 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:50,280 Oh, amazing. Who's your favorite? 110 00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:52,640 Uh... 111 00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:58,680 Jonny and the... New... Waves. 112 00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:04,360 Right. 113 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:07,000 Well, see you in a bit. 114 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,120 - Wahey! There he is! 115 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:25,800 This is Neil, the final flatmate. 116 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:27,160 Oh, actually, my name's... 117 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,960 This is Celeste, a French exchange student. 118 00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:31,520 Porridge man! Come save me! 119 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:34,280 Do you want a drink? 120 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:36,960 You've got one choice, and that's vodka. 121 00:08:37,039 --> 00:08:39,080 I'll have a vodka with a tiny splash 122 00:08:39,159 --> 00:08:40,200 of vodka, then. 123 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:45,400 Just a vodka, please. 124 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:47,920 Vodka and porridge? Now, there's a combination. 125 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,560 Sorry, what's this porridge thing? 126 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:56,080 Celeste wants a Scottish man. 127 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:57,680 One like the cereal box. 128 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:00,400 You know, the man with the kilt throwing the boulder. 129 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,120 I told her Scotland's nothing like that. 130 00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:04,360 If anything, it should be a fat bloke with diabetes 131 00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:05,440 throwing a sausage roll. 132 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,320 Right, enough of this mindless chit-chat. 133 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:19,000 Let's get out of this rat den and go clubbing. 134 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,560 Hello. 135 00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:29,800 Oh. 136 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:30,960 Hello. 137 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:36,480 - I'm Alby. You must be Neil. - Oh, I'm... 138 00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:40,480 - Nice to meet you. - Oh, no, I don't do handshakes. 139 00:09:40,560 --> 00:09:42,360 I feel like it's a social construct 140 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:46,600 designed to keep us apart. But it's a pleasure, seriously. 141 00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:47,800 Have you met the others? 142 00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:50,520 Experienced, more like. 143 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:54,120 Yeah. Did they, uh, ply you with cheap vodka? 144 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:56,440 Certainly did. Do you fancy helping? 145 00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:58,800 No, I don't drink. I never have, really. 146 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:00,880 Wow. Tha... That's crazy. 147 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:03,120 Yeah, just the old bog-standard heroin for me. 148 00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:08,920 Are we ready to go? 149 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:10,720 I want to meet a porridge man by midnight. 150 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:12,600 She means you, Neil. You can be her porridge man. 151 00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:14,360 Ignore her. She's proletariat. 152 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:26,120 - Uh... See you later. - Have fun. 153 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:33,000 Celeste is hot for you. 154 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:35,880 She wants to sow your oats, porridge man. 155 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:37,360 I really hope this porridge man thing 156 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:39,480 - doesn't catch on. - Are you going to bang? 157 00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:41,600 She's fit. Like, really fit. 158 00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:43,200 Well, I'll let her learn my name first. 159 00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:45,240 - What, Neil? - Oh, no. Actually, my name... 160 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:46,640 Do you think Alby's gay? 161 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:49,600 What? What makes you say that? 162 00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:51,400 I don't know, just a suspicion. 163 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:53,200 There was this guy at my school who was gay, 164 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:55,080 and he didn't really know how to join in either. 165 00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:57,400 It seems to be a... a sign, you know? 166 00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:03,760 Come on, have some shots. 167 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:06,080 We've unlocked the beast. 168 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:09,160 I box, you know, and I smoke hash. I have some on me now, in fact. 169 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:11,240 What happened to the guy in the flat? 170 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:13,040 Like, what have you done with him? 171 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:14,520 Cheers. 172 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:21,960 Right. Let's go. 173 00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:29,440 Oh, nicely rolled. 174 00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:31,360 You're a dark horse, aren't you? 175 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:34,320 You guys are so gonna get it on. 176 00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:37,240 It's like having subtext around. 177 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:39,800 Fine, I'll leave. 178 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:42,560 No, don't! 179 00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:47,480 I had better go after her. 180 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:51,280 Blowback? 181 00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:08,400 See you later, porridge man. 182 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:27,040 - Didn't think you'd make it. - Well, what can I say? 183 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:29,800 I heard the city calling my name. 184 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:32,440 That'll be the heroin. 185 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:39,040 Oh, may I? 186 00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:53,960 So, what brings you to Glasgow? 187 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:56,920 Oh, loads of things. 188 00:12:56,960 --> 00:13:01,440 The city, music, the nightlife, the women. 189 00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:06,280 What is it you study again? 190 00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:09,040 - English Literature. - Oh, cool. 191 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,400 I was going to guess Theater Studies, 192 00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:13,320 so not too far off. 193 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:15,760 Theater Studies? Hell no. 194 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:19,120 That's miles off. What makes you say that? 195 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:20,280 I don't know. 196 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:24,480 You, uh... You strike me as a performer in some way. 197 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:28,680 - What, like an actor? - No, a performer. 198 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,280 Like, uh... 199 00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:32,800 Like you're performing somehow. 200 00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:38,920 Hey, it's nothing to worry about. 201 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:41,480 I mean, after all... 202 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:45,800 I'm a performer, too. 203 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,680 Something I said? 204 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:28,680 No, it's just... 205 00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:31,760 - Just don't get your... Your... 206 00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:43,160 Okay, let's go, buddy. 207 00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:21,360 All right? 208 00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:27,200 - I don't like it. - What? 209 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:29,800 Four years doing fuck all and getting paid for it? 210 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:32,960 Come on, now. Don't be a pube. 211 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:35,880 What are the birds like? 212 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:37,680 Any got the hots for you? 213 00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:40,760 Uh, actually, yeah. I think so. 214 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:42,280 I can't tell if she's coming on to me, 215 00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:43,280 or if she's just French. 216 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:45,680 A French bird? Ooh, la, la! 217 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,960 Two days in, he's already fine dining. 218 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:52,320 Come on. What's bothering you, shagger? 219 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:55,800 I... I just... 220 00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:58,040 I just don't feel like myself here. 221 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:02,200 Everyone keeps calling me Neil, and there's this 222 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:04,640 Alby guy who's... He's spinning me out a bit. 223 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:09,839 You only need to ask. 224 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:13,920 Oh. Oh, no, I... I... I couldn't. 225 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,319 Just say the words. 226 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:24,119 I need you. 227 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:56,120 Chuck the keys, shagger! 228 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,560 Be up in a bit. Gonna have a fag and see 229 00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:01,160 if I can split a fresher. 230 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,680 I had to run them through twice. 231 00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:42,400 You scared the shit out of me! 232 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:43,960 Yeah, well, I'm not cleaning it up this time. 233 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:48,800 Look, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't... 234 00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:54,320 You were a disgrace last night. 235 00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:01,600 What do you mean? 236 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:03,600 Leaving early with no explanation. 237 00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:06,000 Ah. Right. 238 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:08,600 Why are you in your underpants? 239 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:11,640 No reason. 240 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:14,800 Just, you know, catching the air on my thighs. 241 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:20,760 I'll put them back on. 242 00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:23,480 Well, this has been a fascinating insight 243 00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:26,360 into human behavior, but I've got some reading to do. 244 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:34,520 Thank you. 245 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:39,000 Mm! There he is! Houdini. 246 00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:41,960 - I'm sorry? - You, last night, 247 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:43,760 and your vanishing act. 248 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:45,000 Very disappointing. 249 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,440 Oh my God. 250 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,600 You should see how fit this guy is outside. 251 00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:55,480 Oh, he looks like trouble. 252 00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:57,880 Oh my God. He just came into the halls. 253 00:19:57,960 --> 00:19:59,960 Hey! Maybe he'll move in upstairs 254 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:01,560 and you can have a really dysfunctional romance. 255 00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:02,880 I'd love that, you know. 256 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:05,520 Oh, no. 257 00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:11,880 There he is! Bring it in, son! 258 00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:18,840 - Get off of me! Ruben! - You big student bastard! 259 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:21,680 Hey? Hey? You tax-dodging fuck! 260 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,360 Stop! 261 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:35,960 Oh, this is Ruben, my... my brother. 262 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:39,240 And you're the flatmates? 263 00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:43,840 You must be the gorgeous French one. 264 00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:47,120 Uh... No, that's, uh, Celeste. 265 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,000 - I'm Joanna. - Oh. 266 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:51,240 Sorry, I just assumed you were the gorgeous one. 267 00:20:58,760 --> 00:20:59,800 Right, you. 268 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:01,920 I'll see you outside. 269 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:06,640 Joanna. 270 00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:16,440 His name's Niall, by the way. 271 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,200 That was epic. 272 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:32,960 Mate, you're a lucky son of a bitch 273 00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:34,120 living with those two. 274 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,000 I'll take the ugly bird off your hands then, shall I? 275 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:37,640 She's not ugly, is she? 276 00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:39,000 Hey, I'm not complaining. 277 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:41,000 Ugly birds are the better lay anyway. 278 00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:43,160 - You're a sick fuck, Ruben. - You love it. 279 00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:00,520 - What the hell? - Do it back. Trust me. 280 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:01,680 It'll work. I've got a game plan. 281 00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:03,320 What? No! That fucking hurt! 282 00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:05,640 Oh, does little soft-cock Niall Kennedy 283 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:07,320 not have it in him to hit a man? 284 00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:09,760 Would soft-cock Niall Kennedy rather go off and read 285 00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:11,920 some gay little books instead? 286 00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:18,160 S... Sorry, I... 287 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:24,720 You fucking beauty. 288 00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:28,320 Stop it. Stop. 289 00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:32,280 Keep still. 290 00:22:32,360 --> 00:22:33,680 There are certain parts of my body 291 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:35,520 I don't have control over, Joanna. 292 00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:44,480 You're very different, you two. 293 00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:46,080 Stop. 294 00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:48,600 It's like one needs a head and the other needs a body. 295 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:54,800 I think you have doubts, Niall. 296 00:22:56,080 --> 00:23:00,040 - About you? No way. - I spoke to Alby about this. 297 00:23:00,120 --> 00:23:03,560 We have our theories. 298 00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:10,880 You're a virgin, aren't you? 299 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:14,000 That's why the disconnect. 300 00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:26,360 Shall we play spin the bottle? 301 00:23:28,120 --> 00:23:29,840 Basically, wherever the bottle lands, 302 00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:31,400 you need to kiss that person. 303 00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:33,680 You know there's a good chance it lands on family? 304 00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:35,600 - Family have a veto. - Very convenient. 305 00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:36,960 I'll go first. 306 00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:41,840 Ready? 307 00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:00,960 Come on, frog. I want a French one. 308 00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:08,840 I'm not scared of you. 309 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:11,120 Prove it. 310 00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:29,880 Okay, guys, that's great. 311 00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:32,320 Um... Other people are yet to... 312 00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:40,000 Thanks, guys. 313 00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:43,240 Thanks, guys. 314 00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:46,600 Thanks, guys. 315 00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:49,840 Thanks, guys. 316 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,600 Come on, guys, it's a kiss, not a tongue transplant. 317 00:24:58,240 --> 00:24:59,880 Niall, you take this one. 318 00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:12,840 Ah! 319 00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:28,560 Oh! Sorry. 320 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:30,800 Don't mind me. 321 00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:40,680 Who's next? 322 00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:43,520 Fuck it. I'll go. 323 00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:50,200 You're up. 324 00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:56,320 S... Sorry, I don't think we've, um, been acquainted. I'm Alby. 325 00:25:57,560 --> 00:25:59,320 I know exactly who you are. 326 00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:04,080 Ruben. Niall's brother. 327 00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:07,000 Oh, uh, I don't do handshakes. 328 00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:09,160 And I don't do with people turning them down. 329 00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:31,760 What are you waiting for? 330 00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:37,680 - I... I wasn't playing. - Spin the bottle. Ancient law. 331 00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:40,640 You enter the room, you're playing. 332 00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:46,600 Okay, well, can't argue with ancient law. 333 00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:54,080 Wahey! Yes, Alby! 334 00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:57,360 Ooh! This is exciting. 335 00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:17,800 Oh, yeah! 336 00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:21,280 Amazing. 337 00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:29,480 What are you waiting for? 338 00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:31,800 You not man enough to kiss a bloke or something? 339 00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:34,440 Yeah, kiss him. 340 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,360 Have your IDs ready, please. 341 00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:28,040 What's that? 342 00:28:28,120 --> 00:28:30,800 Electricity, mate. Have a sniff? 343 00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:32,920 No, no, I'm... I'm good, actually. 344 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:36,200 All the more for me, then. 345 00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:38,360 Boys? 346 00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:39,960 Celeste. 347 00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:42,920 - Bump of life, mate? - Sure. Why not? 348 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:52,200 - Do you even know what that is? - Don't care. 349 00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:53,720 Need to tolerate your brother somehow. 350 00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:00,960 - Where's Joanna? - Urinating in the bushes. 351 00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:03,400 Sorry, guys. Bet you think I'm minging now. 352 00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:11,880 Right, let's talk game plan. 353 00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:14,040 Is the fat prick checking student IDs? 354 00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:15,240 Yeah, looks like it. 355 00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:16,480 You'll charm them though, don't worry. 356 00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:18,760 Nah, bouncers are the only ones who manage to see 357 00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:20,760 - through my bullshit. - What bullshit? 358 00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:23,160 Exactly. I'll have to find another way in. 359 00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:26,280 - But wait, what if you don't? - Don't worry. 360 00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:28,640 I have a knack for worming my way into tight spaces. 361 00:29:58,040 --> 00:29:59,040 Hey. 362 00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:00,680 Hey. 363 00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:04,080 Can't get enough of that Irn-Bru? 364 00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:07,120 No, I'm here for all the pussy. 365 00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:09,200 I'm sorry about my brother. 366 00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:10,680 I mean, his heart's in the right place. 367 00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:13,760 I've always hated that phrase. 368 00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:17,000 It's excuse-making for shitty behavior. 369 00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:19,040 And why did you bring him? 370 00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:20,720 I wanted to see him. 371 00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:22,800 We... We're practically the same person. 372 00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:26,000 You're not remotely. 373 00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:27,480 You're the same person in the same way 374 00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:29,480 Jekyll and Hyde are the same person. 375 00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:37,440 Yes, I love this song. 376 00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:40,720 I don't. Geldof's a wanker. 377 00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:43,840 His heart's in the right place. 378 00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:51,160 - Did you see Live Aid? - Holy shit. Freddie Mercury? 379 00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:53,320 - Yeah, incredible, wasn't it? - Yeah. 380 00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:56,120 Would be nice, wouldn't it? To be able to dance like that. 381 00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:58,080 What, you're telling me 382 00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:00,480 that Niall Kennedy can't "Radio Ga Ga"? 383 00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:05,360 Here, watch this. 384 00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:17,320 - Sorry, sorry, sorry. No, it's... - No, no, no, I love it! 385 00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:19,560 It was as though Freddie had died 386 00:31:19,640 --> 00:31:20,920 and come back with longer limbs. 387 00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:33,240 What the hell is he doing? 388 00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:13,320 - Hey, are you okay? - Look at this place. 389 00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:14,640 How did we get from hunter-gatherers 390 00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:17,400 to student unions? It's an evolutionary mishap. 391 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:20,520 Excuse me, mate. You just nudged me. 392 00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:23,600 Whoa, whoa, whoa. I think you should slow down a bit. 393 00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:25,440 Look, promise me you won't start shit. 394 00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:27,840 I won't. It's a bumpy come-up is all. 395 00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:29,240 I'll be chock-full of love in a second, 396 00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:30,960 don't you worry. 397 00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:33,080 Ah, there they are. The slappers. 398 00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:38,320 - Come here, you. - No! 399 00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:40,000 Put me down! 400 00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:42,320 It's going to end horribly. 401 00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:44,680 Yeah. You have no idea. 402 00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:47,680 Here. 403 00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:49,680 I'll be your guide. 404 00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:52,400 Ease you in a bit. 405 00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:10,800 Less tongue. 406 00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:15,040 - What? - Next time, less tongue. 407 00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:16,120 Right. 408 00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:41,320 What happened to easing in? 409 00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:43,640 I think I'm feeling it. 410 00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:48,320 Here. 411 00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:51,480 You're still flaccid. 412 00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:53,520 I... Well, I'm not gonna get one here. 413 00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:55,600 Oh, that's fine. 414 00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:57,520 We leave. 415 00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:03,200 - Yo! We're leaving. - Fuck yeah, you are! 416 00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:04,600 Don't raise hell, okay? 417 00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:06,280 It's already raised, son. 418 00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:16,800 Ruben has blackness in him. 419 00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:24,480 - I think you need some water. - Oh! My coat. Wait here. 420 00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:54,840 Alby. Alby, wait up. 421 00:34:58,080 --> 00:34:59,880 Uh... Where's Celeste? 422 00:34:59,960 --> 00:35:02,720 Narnia, by now, I reckon. 423 00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:07,080 Did you have a good night? 424 00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:10,240 Uh, it started well. 425 00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:13,760 I suppose it's ending well, too. 426 00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:17,160 Who remembers the middle, right? 427 00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:20,320 Exactly. So many films were forgiven for starting 428 00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:21,480 and ending well. 429 00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:24,640 - The Great Escape? - How dare you. 430 00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:27,960 - E.T. - Get out. 431 00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:31,400 It's perfect. 432 00:35:37,240 --> 00:35:39,200 What a shitty start to uni. 433 00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:41,240 One of my flatmates thinks I'm a virgin, 434 00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:43,880 the other thinks I'm a social freak. 435 00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:47,360 - So, you're not a virgin? - No, no. I... I... 436 00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:50,160 I had sex with my brother's girlfriend once. 437 00:35:50,240 --> 00:35:52,320 Well, we had sex with her together. 438 00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:55,920 Wow, that's dark. 439 00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:00,800 Sorry, I'm just trying to get my head around how that works. 440 00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:03,240 Well, he brought her home one night 441 00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:04,920 and pretty much placed her on me. 442 00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:07,880 Right, how old were you? 443 00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:09,800 I was 15, he was 17. 444 00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:15,040 What? 445 00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:16,320 No, um... 446 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:18,520 Just all makes sense now. 447 00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:21,200 Why he feels part of you. 448 00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:31,560 Do you fancy a film or something? 449 00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:33,400 You know, we could watch the start of The Great Escape 450 00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:34,800 and the end of E.T.? 451 00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:38,440 Try and make sense of them together? 452 00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:41,640 The prisoners of war who escaped to the moon on a bicycle? 453 00:36:41,720 --> 00:36:43,600 Yeah. Sounds perfect. 454 00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:47,040 Let's run, 'cause it's freezing. 455 00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:48,320 Okay. 456 00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:20,160 Look, uh... 457 00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:24,120 I'm not quite ready for that. 458 00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:26,680 That's okay. There's... There's no pressure. 459 00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:28,760 I know. I... I want to. 460 00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:30,600 I just... 461 00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:36,160 - I just... - Hey. 462 00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:38,720 - Hey, hey, what's going on? - I... 463 00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:40,560 I just... I don't know 464 00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:42,640 where these feelings have come from. 465 00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:44,120 I mean, my mum's gay, 466 00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:45,680 for Christ's sake, it should be easy. 467 00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:47,080 Wait, your mum's gay? 468 00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:51,960 - Yeah. - I'm genuinely impressed. 469 00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:54,000 I mean, gay mums, Niall, that's pretty radical. 470 00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:55,800 Oh, please. They watch Emmerdale. 471 00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:00,800 - You told them? - No way. 472 00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:03,720 The fucking town would have a field day. 473 00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:05,400 They would think there was something in our water. 474 00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:10,040 Well, we can go at your pace. 475 00:38:11,240 --> 00:38:13,560 Even if that means going backwards. 476 00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:16,800 How would that work? 477 00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:19,000 Oh my, you have a lot to learn. 478 00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:24,280 We can do whatever you want. 479 00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:27,960 We can chat. 480 00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:30,920 We can watch films. 481 00:38:31,720 --> 00:38:33,360 - We can... - Hug. 482 00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:36,040 Maybe? 483 00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:42,200 Well, that's easy. 484 00:38:57,600 --> 00:39:01,040 You're a shit hugger. 485 00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:09,120 It's okay, he's preoccupied. 486 00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:12,080 I... I'm sorry. I... 487 00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:13,800 I'm... I'm sorry. 488 00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:38,960 You love it! 489 00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:41,320 You stink! No, no, don't. 490 00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:43,440 There you are! 491 00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:48,040 No! Get away! 492 00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:50,400 No, you stink, porridge man. 493 00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:53,120 I'm coming back 494 00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:55,520 for more, Frenchy. Just you wait. 495 00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:04,400 So, what happened? 496 00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:06,480 They just started kissing in front of me. 497 00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:08,400 So, I gave Ruben an ultimatum. 498 00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:09,920 I said, "If you carry on kissing her, 499 00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:13,120 - I'm going home." - And what did he say to that? 500 00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:16,240 He said, "Win-win." Then spat in my face. 501 00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:17,360 Jesus! 502 00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:20,480 I'm so sorry. 503 00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:26,320 Are you going to be able to get through this induction? 504 00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:28,000 I'll be fine. 505 00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:30,360 I've been through worse than him. That's for sure. 506 00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:36,000 We do have a fairly extensive reading list this year 507 00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:38,400 and I suggest you take a look at all the texts on it. 508 00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:39,560 I know for some of you, 509 00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:42,000 English isn't your primary subject, 510 00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:43,160 but I still think it'd be good 511 00:40:43,240 --> 00:40:45,240 to acquaint yourself with the wider... 512 00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:47,520 the wider syllabus. 513 00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:50,280 It's Joanna, isn't it? 514 00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:53,320 Would you like to take a moment? 515 00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:54,400 Hmm. 516 00:40:57,920 --> 00:40:59,240 Now, for the rest of us, 517 00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:00,920 if you can take a look... 518 00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:02,840 at the handout in front of you. 519 00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:09,960 Fucking leek! 520 00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:14,160 Shit! 521 00:41:14,240 --> 00:41:17,960 Fucking leek! 522 00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:25,360 My man. 523 00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:27,040 What's going on here? 524 00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:28,880 Acid. 525 00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:31,240 Some of the strongest shit I've taken. 526 00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:36,800 Your eyes are holes right now. 527 00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:38,640 Big... 528 00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:40,960 dark, shitty holes. 529 00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:47,880 Is Celeste okay? 530 00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:49,920 She's just working through some shit. 531 00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:52,280 That's the beauty of this drug. 532 00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:54,520 She's actually never been more awake in her life. 533 00:42:07,840 --> 00:42:09,800 Come here. Dance with me. 534 00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:11,640 Here. 535 00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:14,880 Get on my feet. 536 00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:18,880 You need to be at my level for what I'm about to tell you. 537 00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:30,400 What are we doing here? 538 00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:32,520 My dad. 539 00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:35,000 You know what he's gone and done? 540 00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:38,880 Had another child with this random bird. 541 00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:41,440 She's fighting him for custody. 542 00:42:43,240 --> 00:42:45,360 Right. Okay. 543 00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:53,520 We can't let him win, shagger. 544 00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:58,200 We can't let him win. 545 00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:06,680 If you lot don't get the fuck out, 546 00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:08,000 I am calling the police. 547 00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:23,240 How'd you get rid of him? 548 00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:25,200 Wasn't too hard. 549 00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:28,280 He is pretty Pavlovian 550 00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:30,040 when it comes to police call-outs. 551 00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:06,840 Hey. Hey, hey! What's wrong? 552 00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:09,560 Just... 553 00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:12,480 Uni was supposed to be a fresh start, 554 00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:14,360 a chance to... to... 555 00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:17,880 And I... I just made all the same mistakes. 556 00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:19,840 It's okay. He's not going to be here forever. 557 00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:22,320 I'm sorry, I shouldn't be crying. 558 00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:24,320 Hey, hey. Don't worry. 559 00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:29,640 This is what I meant about performing. 560 00:44:32,680 --> 00:44:34,240 I could see it in your eyes, almost. 561 00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:38,160 The real you was in there 562 00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:41,880 just trying to get out. 563 00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:45,720 I mean, that's the thing with eyes, 564 00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:48,080 they always tell the truth. 565 00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:58,200 Well, what are they saying now, then? 566 00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:03,480 That you're exhausted. 567 00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:07,520 That you're done fighting. 568 00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:09,440 Yeah. 569 00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:11,880 You could say that again. 570 00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:16,240 Well then stop fighting. 571 00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:30,960 You know, I know this isn't, like... like, sexy, 572 00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:34,880 but this is my first time with a man, so sexy can wait. 573 00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:36,040 Yeah, that's fine by me. 574 00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:47,240 Wait a sec. 575 00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:05,000 Where the fuck is everyone? 576 00:46:05,040 --> 00:46:07,320 - Just... Just try to focus. - Is he... Let me just check. 577 00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:23,160 Wait. Wait. What are you doing? 578 00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:25,480 Oh, no, it's just, uh... 579 00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:28,360 It's just suddenly occurred to me that I am doing it again. 580 00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:29,960 What... What do you mean? 581 00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:32,360 I just told myself the last time I got with a straight boy, I wouldn't do it again. 582 00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:34,120 No, no. I... I'm sorry, pl... please, I... 583 00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:35,800 It's just... It's Ruben. 584 00:46:35,880 --> 00:46:37,680 He'll... He'll kill me if he finds out. 585 00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:39,680 Your mothers are together. Why would he care? 586 00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:43,440 It's... It's different with men, isn't it? It's more... 587 00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:45,640 shameful. 588 00:46:49,200 --> 00:46:51,720 Wow, okay. 589 00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:53,600 By society's standards, I mean. 590 00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:56,160 Wait. Alby, please. Let's... Let's reset. 591 00:46:56,240 --> 00:47:00,200 You know, Niall, um, the first boy I ever got with 592 00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:04,440 was so worried about being found out that, um, 593 00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:08,240 he came in my hand and then he ran out of the room 594 00:47:08,320 --> 00:47:10,000 to tell everyone I hit on him. 595 00:47:10,920 --> 00:47:13,040 I shared a dorm with eight other guys 596 00:47:13,120 --> 00:47:15,480 and they beat me up every night. 597 00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:21,240 And so, one day, I stood up and I said, "So what? I'm gay. 598 00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:25,200 The next person to touch me wants it." 599 00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:28,360 And I stood there with my arms crossed 600 00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:30,240 and I waited. 601 00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:32,200 And nothing happened. 602 00:47:33,760 --> 00:47:34,840 You know why? 603 00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:41,640 Because my strength was far greater than their fear. 604 00:47:45,840 --> 00:47:47,720 You know, a few weeks later, I, uh, 605 00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:50,880 I went up to that boy and I thanked him. 606 00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:52,280 I said, um... 607 00:47:53,240 --> 00:47:55,000 I said if he didn't tell anyone, 608 00:47:55,880 --> 00:47:57,240 I never would have. 609 00:48:01,640 --> 00:48:03,120 Why are you telling me this? 610 00:48:07,960 --> 00:48:09,920 Because if he didn't tell anyone, 611 00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:12,680 I never would have. 612 00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:32,400 Did your dad have another kid? 613 00:48:35,360 --> 00:48:36,440 Who told you that? 614 00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:39,560 You did, yesterday. 615 00:48:39,640 --> 00:48:41,600 No, I never. I... I should remember, Ruben... 616 00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:43,520 I never said anything. 617 00:48:57,320 --> 00:49:01,760 - Joanna's really upset. - Why? 618 00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:03,720 'Cause I fucked a much fitter bird? 619 00:49:03,760 --> 00:49:06,760 - You spat in her face, Ruben. - So what? 620 00:49:06,840 --> 00:49:09,040 I'm not fucking justifying myself to you. 621 00:49:09,120 --> 00:49:10,400 You saw the way she threw herself 622 00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:12,720 over me all night. It was embarrassing. 623 00:49:12,760 --> 00:49:14,720 If you give your body away so easily like that, 624 00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:17,240 don't be upset if it comes back with spit on. 625 00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:20,520 What's this about? 626 00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:24,520 An intervention, is it? 627 00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:26,760 Niall Kennedy wanting one of his wee chats. 628 00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:29,400 - Have I gone too far? - No. 629 00:49:30,160 --> 00:49:31,800 No, I... I... 630 00:49:31,880 --> 00:49:33,640 I just think... 631 00:49:33,680 --> 00:49:35,680 maybe it's time to, you... you know... 632 00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:39,200 I think Maura might want you back is all. 633 00:49:39,280 --> 00:49:41,120 Maura? 634 00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:43,360 What the fuck are you talking about Maura for? 635 00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:45,280 You've never given a shit about her. 636 00:49:45,800 --> 00:49:47,120 Well, what about work? 637 00:49:47,880 --> 00:49:50,000 Fuck work. 638 00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:53,040 I'm staying here. 639 00:49:53,120 --> 00:49:55,120 Why should you get all this for free and I get nothing? 640 00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:56,160 We share everything. 641 00:49:56,240 --> 00:49:57,680 I mean, you're wearing my jumper right now. 642 00:49:57,760 --> 00:49:58,720 It's different. 643 00:49:58,800 --> 00:50:00,600 You don't get to whisk off on a fancy grant 644 00:50:00,640 --> 00:50:02,240 and leave me in a shithole. Fuck that! 645 00:50:02,320 --> 00:50:04,080 You should have brought me with you from the start. 646 00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:06,080 We can't share a room forever, Ruben. 647 00:50:06,120 --> 00:50:07,080 It's not about the room. 648 00:50:07,160 --> 00:50:08,560 It's about the fucking principle! 649 00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:16,040 Don't you bring up my father again, okay? 650 00:50:16,120 --> 00:50:18,360 I will rip that jumper off your back, 651 00:50:18,400 --> 00:50:20,640 right here, right now. You understand? 652 00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:25,920 You got anything else to say? 653 00:50:27,720 --> 00:50:29,240 Stay. Stay as long as you want. 654 00:50:43,840 --> 00:50:45,160 Niall? 655 00:50:53,280 --> 00:50:54,600 How did it go? 656 00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:56,800 Did you do it? 657 00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:00,480 Yeah. 658 00:51:03,160 --> 00:51:04,280 Oh my God. 659 00:51:05,440 --> 00:51:06,520 Niall. 660 00:51:10,720 --> 00:51:12,440 Well, how do you feel? 661 00:51:14,360 --> 00:51:17,400 I feel... yeah, yeah, stunned. 662 00:51:18,840 --> 00:51:20,240 Look, should... should we go to your room? 663 00:51:20,320 --> 00:51:22,080 Ruben's coming back and I don't want him to know 664 00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:23,160 we're... we're talking. 665 00:51:23,240 --> 00:51:24,960 What, so he didn't take it well? 666 00:51:26,040 --> 00:51:27,480 He needs time. 667 00:51:27,560 --> 00:51:29,400 It wasn't so much the reveal, I mean, 668 00:51:29,480 --> 00:51:30,800 like you said, our Mums. 669 00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:33,640 It was more that I kept it so long. 670 00:51:33,720 --> 00:51:35,280 Brotherly shit, you know. 671 00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:43,920 Ruben? 672 00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:46,360 Don't, don't, don't. Please. 673 00:51:46,440 --> 00:51:48,160 Can I have a word for a moment? 674 00:51:52,280 --> 00:51:53,640 I know what you're gonna say. 675 00:51:54,280 --> 00:51:55,520 We've had the chat. 676 00:51:56,640 --> 00:51:58,920 As far as I'm concerned, bygones be bygones. 677 00:52:04,080 --> 00:52:05,560 Wow. Uh... 678 00:52:06,560 --> 00:52:07,960 That is very commendable. 679 00:52:08,880 --> 00:52:10,080 Is that sarcastic? 680 00:52:10,760 --> 00:52:13,040 No, uh... No, it's just... 681 00:52:13,120 --> 00:52:15,040 Niall was worried about how you'd react. 682 00:52:15,120 --> 00:52:16,680 Well, I was pissed off at first, but... 683 00:52:18,560 --> 00:52:21,160 however you guys want to live, I won't get in the way of that 684 00:52:21,240 --> 00:52:22,400 as long as I'm staying here. 685 00:52:22,960 --> 00:52:25,560 Wow. I'm so impressed. 686 00:52:26,520 --> 00:52:27,720 Really, I am. 687 00:52:31,520 --> 00:52:33,680 Look, uh, why don't you go lie down? 688 00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:38,600 Wait, I... I... I had you all wrong. 689 00:52:39,600 --> 00:52:41,800 The... The way you look out for each other. 690 00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:44,760 I... I get it now. I really get it. 691 00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:50,040 - Great. - Wait, Ruben, I... 692 00:52:50,080 --> 00:52:52,800 I don't think you quite realize what you've done here. 693 00:52:52,880 --> 00:52:54,320 How huge this is. 694 00:52:54,400 --> 00:52:56,840 Calm down, mate. It's a broken kitchen. 695 00:52:56,920 --> 00:52:58,120 I won't do it again. 696 00:53:03,840 --> 00:53:04,880 Right, I see. 697 00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:11,560 What is your fucking deal, man? 698 00:53:12,240 --> 00:53:13,200 In what sense? 699 00:53:13,280 --> 00:53:15,120 Sniffing your fucking face at me. 700 00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:16,600 Well, it wasn't at you, actually. 701 00:53:16,680 --> 00:53:18,680 - It was at your brother. —You think that's fucking better, do you? 702 00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:19,960 Ruben. All right. Come on, let's go. 703 00:53:20,040 --> 00:53:22,440 No, no, no. No. You're really pressing me, son. 704 00:53:22,520 --> 00:53:23,880 Let's just leave this, okay? 705 00:53:23,920 --> 00:53:26,560 Not until this cunt explains himself. 706 00:53:26,640 --> 00:53:28,720 Do you want to tell him or shall I? 707 00:53:32,920 --> 00:53:35,000 - What the fuck is going on? - Okay, fine, I'll tell him. 708 00:53:35,080 --> 00:53:36,960 - No. Alby, Alby, Alby, please... - Your brother... 709 00:53:37,040 --> 00:53:39,880 Get the fuck off me! 710 00:53:53,640 --> 00:53:55,400 Ruben. Ruben. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. 711 00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:58,120 Get off him! 712 00:53:58,600 --> 00:53:59,600 Ruben. Please. 713 00:53:59,680 --> 00:54:00,920 Stop, stop, stop. 714 00:57:08,960 --> 00:57:11,240 We are gathered here today 715 00:57:11,280 --> 00:57:16,040 to witness the marriage of Niall Brandon Kennedy 716 00:57:16,120 --> 00:57:19,160 and Albert Franklin Safadi. 717 00:57:19,240 --> 00:57:21,520 - What's Ruben doing here? - I don't know. I'm so sorry. 718 00:57:21,600 --> 00:57:23,720 Jesus Christ, this is fucked up. 719 00:57:23,800 --> 00:57:26,040 What do we even do? 720 00:57:26,120 --> 00:57:27,280 I don't know. 721 00:57:28,440 --> 00:57:29,520 I mean... 722 00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:32,600 I could maybe ask him to leave or something. 723 00:57:32,680 --> 00:57:34,560 No, don't do that. It'll just make things worse. 724 00:57:35,600 --> 00:57:37,040 Let's just get through this, then. 725 00:57:37,960 --> 00:57:39,840 - It'll be fine. - Okay. 726 00:57:39,920 --> 00:57:46,560 Do you, Albert Franklin Safadi, take Niall Brandon Kennedy 727 00:57:46,640 --> 00:57:48,840 as your lawfully wedded partner? 728 00:57:51,720 --> 00:57:52,720 I do. 729 00:57:57,120 --> 00:58:01,000 Do you, Niall Brandon Kennedy, 730 00:58:01,080 --> 00:58:07,040 take Albert Franklin Safadi as your lawfully wedded partner? 731 00:58:31,920 --> 00:58:33,200 I do.