1 00:00:11,623 --> 00:00:14,860 I didn't sleep well last night, and I woke up with a scratchy throat. 2 00:00:15,113 --> 00:00:16,521 I just don't feel so good. 3 00:00:17,490 --> 00:00:20,329 Uh, cough, 4 00:00:21,149 --> 00:00:23,976 Yeah, I'm, I'm, a bit of an upset stomach too, 5 00:00:23,977 --> 00:00:25,837 and I think I'm running a fever, I'm just... 6 00:00:25,838 --> 00:00:27,762 worried I might be contagious. 7 00:00:27,763 --> 00:00:34,744 Inventory, tomorrow, yeah I'm sure I'll be feeling better by then. 8 00:00:36,292 --> 00:00:37,736 Thanks, Mr. Nobby. 9 00:00:41,231 --> 00:00:43,553 I cannot believe you just did that. 10 00:00:44,133 --> 00:00:47,159 I really do have a cough. 11 00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:49,394 Oh, so you weren't lying, 12 00:00:49,395 --> 00:00:52,885 you'd be curled up in bed with a bowl of chicken soup 13 00:00:54,328 --> 00:00:56,375 even if you didn't have a horny girl in your bed? 14 00:00:56,376 --> 00:01:02,136 Yes. Because I really do, hey, I really do have a cough. 15 00:01:02,137 --> 00:01:04,268 You also have a little rash. 16 00:01:05,862 --> 00:01:10,697 Um, umm, I'm uh not sure that we should be kissing. 17 00:01:10,698 --> 00:01:15,340 Oh, that's ok, because I have almost no interest in kissing you. 18 00:02:01,295 --> 00:02:02,588 Oh, Brandon. 19 00:02:06,279 --> 00:02:07,099 Brandon? 20 00:02:10,021 --> 00:02:11,716 I know I'm good, but come on! 21 00:02:14,611 --> 00:02:15,695 Brandon? 22 00:02:27,194 --> 00:02:30,168 1X03: OCCAM'S RAZOR 23 00:02:54,148 --> 00:02:56,800 Original Airdate on FOX: November 30, 2004 24 00:03:16,629 --> 00:03:17,942 Why do you want me to treat this guy? 25 00:03:17,943 --> 00:03:19,955 Blood pressure's not responding to IV fluids. 26 00:03:19,956 --> 00:03:22,622 No, no I didn't ask how you plan to con me into treating him, 27 00:03:22,623 --> 00:03:25,051 I asked you why YOU want me to treat him. 28 00:03:25,052 --> 00:03:28,042 He's sick, I care, I'm pathetic. 29 00:03:28,043 --> 00:03:30,718 There are about a billion sick people on the planet, why this one? 30 00:03:30,719 --> 00:03:33,079 Because this one's is in our emergency room. 31 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:37,926 Ah, so it's a proximity issue. If somebody was sick in the third floor stairwell that's who we would be talking about. 32 00:03:37,927 --> 00:03:40,335 Yes, I checked the stairwell, it's clear. 33 00:03:41,383 --> 00:03:43,491 Ok then, emergency room guy it is. 34 00:03:43,910 --> 00:03:45,908 Wait, how was that so easy? 35 00:03:45,952 --> 00:03:46,899 You know why. 36 00:03:49,019 --> 00:03:51,111 Blood pressure's not responding to IV fluids? 37 00:03:51,112 --> 00:03:55,794 Yeah, that's just weird. 38 00:03:57,636 --> 00:04:01,605 CBC was unremarkable, abdominal CT scan didn't show anything. 39 00:04:01,606 --> 00:04:04,093 So, people, differential diagnosis. What's wrong with her? 40 00:04:04,094 --> 00:04:04,800 Him. 41 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:08,350 Him, her, does it matter? Does anyone think it is a testicular problem? 42 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:09,931 No, so Chase? 43 00:04:09,932 --> 00:04:11,174 Absidia infection? 44 00:04:11,175 --> 00:04:13,319 No, you wouldn't get the rash or cough. 45 00:04:13,319 --> 00:04:14,686 What about arthritis? 46 00:04:14,736 --> 00:04:17,094 Accompanying vasculitis causes nerve damage... 47 00:04:17,095 --> 00:04:18,526 No, it wouldn't cause the blood pressure problems. 48 00:04:18,843 --> 00:04:19,376 Allergy? 49 00:04:19,377 --> 00:04:21,723 The kid's got abdominal pain. Maybe carcinoid? 50 00:04:21,724 --> 00:04:23,530 Nah, but then you wouldn't get the ... 51 00:04:23,531 --> 00:04:25,971 Foreman, if you're going to list all the things it's not, 52 00:04:25,972 --> 00:04:27,817 it might be quicker to do it alphabetically. 53 00:04:28,057 --> 00:04:29,023 Let's see, now. 54 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:30,870 Absidia? Excellent. 55 00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:32,380 Doesn't account for any of the symptoms. 56 00:04:32,381 --> 00:04:34,906 No condition accounts for all these symptoms. 57 00:04:34,907 --> 00:04:35,661 Well, good! 58 00:04:35,662 --> 00:04:37,454 Because I thought maybe he was sick, 59 00:04:37,455 --> 00:04:38,722 but apparently he's not. 60 00:04:38,723 --> 00:04:40,752 Who wants to do up the discharge papers? 61 00:04:43,424 --> 00:04:46,237 Okay, unless we control the blood pressure, 62 00:04:46,237 --> 00:04:49,834 he's going to start circling the drain before we can figure out what's wrong with him. 63 00:04:49,835 --> 00:04:54,813 Treat him for sepsis, broad-spectrum antibiotics and I want a cort-stim test and an echocardiogram. 64 00:05:00,976 --> 00:05:01,935 You all right? 65 00:05:02,709 --> 00:05:03,132 Yeah. 66 00:05:04,295 --> 00:05:08,521 Cort-stim tests will tell us if your pituitary and adrenal glands are working properly. 67 00:05:08,522 --> 00:05:09,855 His glands? What does that mean? 68 00:05:09,855 --> 00:05:11,805 We have a few theories we're working on. 69 00:05:11,806 --> 00:05:12,806 You mean you don't know. 70 00:05:13,732 --> 00:05:14,189 Mindy ... 71 00:05:14,190 --> 00:05:17,168 I'm just saying if they knew they wouldn't be testing you, they'd be treating you. 72 00:05:17,169 --> 00:05:18,995 Yeah, well, that's the way it works. 73 00:05:18,996 --> 00:05:21,742 First you find out what it is, then we get you better. 74 00:05:31,901 --> 00:05:33,405 You're half an hour late. 75 00:05:33,406 --> 00:05:34,202 Busy case load. 76 00:05:34,203 --> 00:05:35,891 One case is not a "load". 77 00:05:36,659 --> 00:05:38,720 So, how are we doing on cotton swabs today? 78 00:05:38,721 --> 00:05:40,417 If there's an acute shortage I could run home. 79 00:05:40,418 --> 00:05:41,180 No, you couldn't. 80 00:05:42,595 --> 00:05:43,676 Nice. 81 00:05:49,176 --> 00:05:51,811 Hello, sick people and their loved ones! 82 00:05:51,812 --> 00:05:56,733 In the interest of saving time and avoiding a lot of boring chit-chat later, I'm Dr. Gregory House. 83 00:05:56,734 --> 00:05:57,890 You can call me Gregg. 84 00:05:57,891 --> 00:06:00,695 I'm one of three doctors staffing this clinic this morning. 85 00:06:00,696 --> 00:06:02,178 Short, sweet. Grab a file. 86 00:06:02,179 --> 00:06:04,974 This ray of sunshine is Dr. Lisa Cuddy. 87 00:06:04,975 --> 00:06:08,970 Dr. Cuddy runs this whole hospital so, unfortunately, she's much too busy to deal with you. 88 00:06:08,971 --> 00:06:10,652 I am a bored 89 00:06:10,653 --> 00:06:14,978 certified diagnostician with a double specialty of infectious disease and nephrology. 90 00:06:14,979 --> 00:06:18,906 I'm also the only doctor currently employed at this clinic who is here against his will. 91 00:06:18,907 --> 00:06:20,282 That is true, isn't it? 92 00:06:20,752 --> 00:06:21,771 But not to worry, 93 00:06:21,772 --> 00:06:25,658 because for most of you this job could be done by a monkey with a bottle of Motrin. 94 00:06:25,659 --> 00:06:29,759 Speaking of which, if you're particularly annoying, you may see me reach for this. 95 00:06:30,414 --> 00:06:31,704 This is Vicodin. 96 00:06:31,705 --> 00:06:33,470 It's mine. You can't have any. 97 00:06:33,471 --> 00:06:37,181 And no, I do not have a pain management problem, I have a pain problem. 98 00:06:38,327 --> 00:06:40,127 But who knows? Maybe I'm wrong. 99 00:06:40,128 --> 00:06:42,469 Maybe I'm too stoned to tell. 100 00:06:42,786 --> 00:06:44,657 So, who wants me? 101 00:06:47,966 --> 00:06:50,815 And who would rather wait for one of the other two doctors? 102 00:06:53,929 --> 00:06:56,886 Okay, well, I'll be in Exam Room 1 if you change your mind. 103 00:06:59,097 --> 00:07:00,433 Jodi Matthews? 104 00:07:02,732 --> 00:07:04,946 Please accompany Dr. House to Exam Room 1. 105 00:07:10,459 --> 00:07:11,652 Dr. Chase! 106 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:16,436 I'm not sure scaring your boyfriend is the best medicine for him right now. 107 00:07:16,437 --> 00:07:19,135 I know, I get... stupid when I'm scared. 108 00:07:19,599 --> 00:07:20,791 Don't go rock climbing. 109 00:07:20,792 --> 00:07:23,913 Look, I was wondering... Before this happened, we were having sex. 110 00:07:26,783 --> 00:07:30,506 What, you, you're wondering if whatever he has you might have gotten it? 111 00:07:30,507 --> 00:07:33,629 It's unlikely, we ran a complete STD panel, so 112 00:07:33,629 --> 00:07:36,127 No, I was wondering if maybe I did this to him. 113 00:07:36,885 --> 00:07:38,047 I was kind of rough. 114 00:07:45,403 --> 00:07:46,737 It was yellow. 115 00:07:47,864 --> 00:07:49,013 It was? 116 00:07:49,078 --> 00:07:50,347 It's not any more. 117 00:07:51,083 --> 00:07:52,507 Hmmm, that's a shame. 118 00:07:52,867 --> 00:07:57,239 I thought that might be a problem, so I brought you this. 119 00:08:00,887 --> 00:08:04,589 Your mucus was pale goldenrod. 120 00:08:04,590 --> 00:08:05,590 Last week, yes. 121 00:08:06,215 --> 00:08:06,949 Should I be worried? 122 00:08:06,950 --> 00:08:08,746 Oh, yes. Very. 123 00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:09,888 Really? 124 00:08:10,896 --> 00:08:11,938 I thought I was okay now. 125 00:08:11,939 --> 00:08:13,526 And yet, here you are. 126 00:08:13,854 --> 00:08:17,222 What happened? Paramedics took a week to respond to your 911 call? 127 00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:20,255 You're not a very nice doctor, are you? 128 00:08:20,256 --> 00:08:23,133 And you are very bad at whatever it is you do. 129 00:08:23,876 --> 00:08:24,809 You don't even know me! 130 00:08:24,810 --> 00:08:26,691 I know you're going to get fired. 131 00:08:27,166 --> 00:08:30,660 That's why you got the new glasses, that's why your teeth are sparkly white. 132 00:08:30,695 --> 00:08:33,457 You're getting the most of your health insurance while you still can. 133 00:08:35,561 --> 00:08:36,834 I might be quitting. 134 00:08:37,489 --> 00:08:42,332 If you were quitting you would have known that last week when your snot was still pale goldenrod; you're getting fired. 135 00:08:43,663 --> 00:08:46,471 I just don't like being told what to do. 136 00:08:50,602 --> 00:08:53,346 I'll get you in for a full body scan later this week. 137 00:08:55,172 --> 00:08:56,112 Thanks. 138 00:08:58,235 --> 00:09:01,129 It's got to be viral. We should start running gels and tiles. 139 00:09:01,130 --> 00:09:03,410 We should test the girlfriend's theory. 140 00:09:03,411 --> 00:09:05,526 She thinks she rode him to death. 141 00:09:05,527 --> 00:09:08,188 What did you tell her? 142 00:09:08,189 --> 00:09:11,647 Well, I told her 22-year old men don't die of sex. 143 00:09:11,648 --> 00:09:12,654 What'd you ask her? 144 00:09:12,655 --> 00:09:13,474 What do you mean? 145 00:09:13,475 --> 00:09:16,480 I mean, I hope you got some specifics on exactly what was going on. 146 00:09:16,481 --> 00:09:18,266 It's a girl who thinks it could kill you... 147 00:09:18,267 --> 00:09:20,141 it's worth knowing about. 148 00:09:24,633 --> 00:09:26,446 Have you ever taken a life? 149 00:09:35,750 --> 00:09:37,781 We should stop the antibiotics. 150 00:09:37,782 --> 00:09:39,772 It's too soon to say they're not having an effect. 151 00:09:39,773 --> 00:09:41,682 They're having an effect. 152 00:09:42,346 --> 00:09:44,474 His BP's falling fast. 153 00:09:44,489 --> 00:09:46,295 There's fluid filling his lungs. 154 00:09:46,700 --> 00:09:48,439 His creatine's rising. 155 00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:56,919 His kidneys are shutting down. 156 00:09:58,577 --> 00:10:03,113 Our treatment isn't making him better, it's killing him. 157 00:10:04,067 --> 00:10:08,569 So, we had six symptoms that didn't add up to anything, now we have seven. 158 00:10:08,570 --> 00:10:09,353 Who's excited? 159 00:10:09,354 --> 00:10:10,886 I don't think it complicates things. 160 00:10:10,887 --> 00:10:13,051 The kidney failure was caused by the antibiotics. 161 00:10:13,052 --> 00:10:13,498 Maybe. 162 00:10:13,498 --> 00:10:17,760 Typically, low blood pressure and abdominal pain means an infection. 163 00:10:17,761 --> 00:10:21,100 An abdominal infection causes sepsis, low blood pressure... 164 00:10:21,101 --> 00:10:23,295 Except we checked for abdominal infections. 165 00:10:23,296 --> 00:10:25,306 I know, but what if it's the other way around. 166 00:10:25,307 --> 00:10:27,712 What if the low blood pressure is causing the abdominal pain? 167 00:10:27,713 --> 00:10:29,094 Viral heart infection. 168 00:10:29,095 --> 00:10:32,327 The intestines aren't getting enough blood, and the result is belly pain. 169 00:10:32,328 --> 00:10:34,374 I know it's not the standard presentation. 170 00:10:35,136 --> 00:10:36,767 It's a 10 million to one shot. 171 00:10:37,444 --> 00:10:38,968 I thought that's what we dealt with, here. 172 00:10:38,969 --> 00:10:45,238 It explains the cardiomyopathy, pain, the low BP, the fever. 173 00:10:46,823 --> 00:10:48,165 You read the book. 174 00:10:49,605 --> 00:10:50,653 Impressive. 175 00:10:51,365 --> 00:10:56,137 It's a ludicrously long shot that explains every one of those symptoms, except for the cough and the rash. 176 00:10:56,138 --> 00:10:58,066 Should we just erase those? 177 00:10:58,067 --> 00:11:00,026 Well, anything can cause a rash. 178 00:11:02,116 --> 00:11:03,100 Okay. 179 00:11:04,065 --> 00:11:05,623 Cardiac infection. 180 00:11:06,505 --> 00:11:08,850 Cameron, you thought... allergy? 181 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,373 Chase, what was it you thought, carcinoid? 182 00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:17,324 And then there's hypothyroidism, 183 00:11:17,325 --> 00:11:20,970 could be parasites. 184 00:11:23,862 --> 00:11:26,147 Finally, sinus infection. 185 00:11:26,148 --> 00:11:29,082 If you're going to list all of the things it can't be, you're gonna need more colors. 186 00:11:30,286 --> 00:11:31,703 Cameron was right. 187 00:11:31,704 --> 00:11:34,084 No condition explains all these symptoms. 188 00:11:35,229 --> 00:11:38,403 But orange and green covers everything. 189 00:11:38,404 --> 00:11:40,449 Orange and green? 190 00:11:40,449 --> 00:11:43,679 Two conditions, contracted simultaneously? 191 00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:44,841 Occam's Razor. 192 00:11:44,842 --> 00:11:47,024 The simplest explanation is always the best. 193 00:11:47,025 --> 00:11:48,652 And you think one is simpler than two. 194 00:11:48,653 --> 00:11:50,078 Pretty sure it is, yeah. 195 00:11:52,113 --> 00:11:53,237 Baby shows up. 196 00:11:53,238 --> 00:11:57,018 Chase tells you that two people exchanged fluids to create this being. 197 00:11:57,019 --> 00:12:00,234 I tell you that one stork dropped the little tyke off in a diaper. 198 00:12:00,235 --> 00:12:01,463 You going to go with the two or the one? 199 00:12:01,464 --> 00:12:02,935 I think your argument is specious. 200 00:12:02,936 --> 00:12:04,519 I think your tie is ugly. 201 00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:06,284 Why is one simpler than two? 202 00:12:06,285 --> 00:12:09,339 It's lower, lonelier... is it simpler? 203 00:12:10,097 --> 00:12:12,737 Each one of these conditions is about a thousand to one shot. 204 00:12:12,738 --> 00:12:16,070 That means that any two of them happening at the same time is a million to one shot. 205 00:12:16,071 --> 00:12:18,963 Chase says that cardiac infection is a 10 million to one shot, 206 00:12:19,409 --> 00:12:22,210 which makes my idea 10 times better than yours. 207 00:12:22,874 --> 00:12:24,420 Get a calculator, run the numbers. 208 00:12:24,421 --> 00:12:25,434 We'll run the tests. 209 00:12:25,435 --> 00:12:27,353 Tests take time. Treatment's quicker. 210 00:12:27,354 --> 00:12:31,343 Start the kid on Unacin for the sinus infection and... 211 00:12:32,734 --> 00:12:33,679 what was orange? 212 00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:35,056 Hypothyroidism. 213 00:12:35,057 --> 00:12:37,066 My uncle has hypothyroidism. 214 00:12:37,067 --> 00:12:38,348 Not like this. 215 00:12:38,349 --> 00:12:43,003 Intravenous levothyroxine is an artificial thyroid medication that should take care of it. 216 00:12:43,004 --> 00:12:46,459 Also, the nurses are going to start you on Unacin, it's a more targeted antibiotic. 217 00:12:46,460 --> 00:12:47,625 For the sinus infection? 218 00:12:47,626 --> 00:12:48,180 Yes. 219 00:12:48,181 --> 00:12:50,376 And the other stuff is for... something else entirely? 220 00:12:50,377 --> 00:12:51,342 Bad luck, huh? 221 00:12:51,881 --> 00:12:55,576 Don't worry, he should be back to ditching work in no time. 222 00:12:56,420 --> 00:12:57,289 Brandon? 223 00:13:01,103 --> 00:13:01,768 Hey. 224 00:13:05,373 --> 00:13:07,564 We're his parents. How's he doing? 225 00:13:07,565 --> 00:13:10,016 Um, Brandon is... 226 00:13:10,016 --> 00:13:14,658 Um, Mom, Dad, this is Mindy. 227 00:13:15,648 --> 00:13:17,757 I was going to bring her home for Christmas, so... 228 00:13:20,098 --> 00:13:21,213 We're engaged. 229 00:13:34,453 --> 00:13:35,990 Tell the family House's theory? 230 00:13:35,991 --> 00:13:40,103 Two odd conditions striking completely coincidentally at the exact same time? 231 00:13:40,104 --> 00:13:41,589 I didn't phrase it quite that way. 232 00:13:41,664 --> 00:13:42,932 They agree to treatment? 233 00:13:42,999 --> 00:13:45,581 Of course they did, we're doctors. They believe whatever we tell them. 234 00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:48,113 So, is that our job? 235 00:13:48,148 --> 00:13:49,575 House's puppets? 236 00:13:49,610 --> 00:13:52,214 He comes up with an insane idea, we get to pretend it's not? 237 00:13:52,215 --> 00:13:55,617 His insane ideas are usually right. We've been here long enough to... 238 00:13:55,618 --> 00:13:57,165 been here long enough to have Stockholm Syndrome. 239 00:13:58,181 --> 00:13:59,656 What? Because we don't hate him? 240 00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:02,484 He thinks outside the box, is that so evil? 241 00:14:02,617 --> 00:14:04,450 He has no idea where the box is! 242 00:14:05,264 --> 00:14:07,928 If you guys think he's right, go home. Relax. 243 00:14:07,963 --> 00:14:09,590 Just wait for the kid to get all better. 244 00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:12,411 I'm going to the lab to test for viral infections. 245 00:14:23,930 --> 00:14:25,769 Negative for Coxsackie-B virus. 246 00:14:25,770 --> 00:14:27,918 Seven down, about 5000 to go. 247 00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:33,515 You really think we're going to come up with your mystery virus by running gels until we guess it right? 248 00:14:34,806 --> 00:14:38,430 No, I think we're going to get it by standing around watching other people work. 249 00:14:39,652 --> 00:14:41,593 I'm waiting for the Epstein Barr virus. 250 00:14:46,652 --> 00:14:48,001 She's weird, isn't she? 251 00:14:48,002 --> 00:14:48,742 Bad idea. 252 00:14:49,453 --> 00:14:49,942 What? 253 00:14:50,467 --> 00:14:52,323 Bad idea. You work with her. 254 00:14:52,324 --> 00:14:53,303 What did I say? 255 00:14:53,829 --> 00:14:59,052 Is "weird" some new ghetto euphemism for sexy, like "bad" is good and "phat" is good? 256 00:14:59,969 --> 00:15:01,313 Then what the hell does "good" mean? 257 00:15:01,314 --> 00:15:02,517 Ghetto euphemism? 258 00:15:04,018 --> 00:15:05,161 You don't think she's hot? 259 00:15:06,913 --> 00:15:07,557 No. 260 00:15:07,558 --> 00:15:09,918 Wow, then you're brilliant. 261 00:15:09,919 --> 00:15:12,084 And I am using "brilliant" as an euphemism. 262 00:15:12,085 --> 00:15:13,516 Obviously, the girl is hot. 263 00:15:13,517 --> 00:15:17,095 You, you're not talking about her aesthetics, you're talking about if I want to jump her. 264 00:15:17,672 --> 00:15:18,400 I don't. 265 00:15:18,924 --> 00:15:19,725 Brilliant. 266 00:15:25,901 --> 00:15:27,267 Your Epstein Barr is ready. 267 00:15:32,778 --> 00:15:33,885 What are you doing? 268 00:15:34,111 --> 00:15:34,989 Level 4. 269 00:15:34,990 --> 00:15:35,573 No, I mean... 270 00:15:35,574 --> 00:15:36,738 I know what you meant. 271 00:15:37,991 --> 00:15:38,803 We're waiting. 272 00:15:39,790 --> 00:15:41,009 My throat hurts. 273 00:15:41,442 --> 00:15:42,397 So you said. 274 00:15:43,090 --> 00:15:44,065 How long are we waiting? 275 00:15:44,066 --> 00:15:46,656 Two minutes less then when you asked me two minutes ago. 276 00:15:49,088 --> 00:15:49,537 Hi. 277 00:15:51,037 --> 00:15:53,112 Hi. I'm Dr. Cuddy. 278 00:15:53,295 --> 00:15:54,648 Nice to meet you. 279 00:15:54,649 --> 00:15:56,584 Dr. Cuddy, thanks for the consult. 280 00:15:56,585 --> 00:15:59,053 His throat seems to have some condition. 281 00:16:02,102 --> 00:16:02,935 Say "Ah". 282 00:16:02,970 --> 00:16:03,980 Ah. 283 00:16:07,154 --> 00:16:08,661 He has a sore throat. 284 00:16:10,221 --> 00:16:11,436 Of course! 285 00:16:12,092 --> 00:16:14,891 Yes, why didn't I... I mean, because he said that... 286 00:16:14,892 --> 00:16:17,572 it hurt, and I, I should have deduced that meant it was sore... 287 00:16:17,573 --> 00:16:18,618 I was in a board meeting. 288 00:16:18,619 --> 00:16:19,850 Patients come first, right? 289 00:16:19,851 --> 00:16:22,674 Wouldn't want to prescribe a lozenge if there was any doubt about it's efficacy, huh? 290 00:16:22,675 --> 00:16:24,936 You once asked why I think I'm always right, 291 00:16:24,937 --> 00:16:28,069 and I realized that you're right... at least, I think you're right. 292 00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,762 I don't really know now, do I? 293 00:16:31,459 --> 00:16:33,048 Hey! I'm here. 294 00:16:33,083 --> 00:16:35,383 Go home. Drink some hot tea. 295 00:16:41,347 --> 00:16:42,772 Excellent counsel. 296 00:16:42,773 --> 00:16:45,553 Negative on parvovirus B19. 297 00:16:46,486 --> 00:16:47,386 I'm impressed. 298 00:16:47,599 --> 00:16:49,342 Thank you, I was born to run gels. 299 00:16:49,343 --> 00:16:50,986 I meant about Chase. 300 00:16:52,041 --> 00:16:52,857 What about Chase? 301 00:16:53,879 --> 00:16:56,601 Well, the man has no physical interest in you. 302 00:16:56,602 --> 00:16:59,252 He has a completely professional relationship with you, 303 00:16:59,253 --> 00:17:01,619 he respects you as a colleague and a doctor, 304 00:17:02,334 --> 00:17:05,547 and yet he can't look at you without thinking sex. 305 00:17:06,078 --> 00:17:08,021 Because I asked what kind of sex could kill you? 306 00:17:08,022 --> 00:17:11,384 You now have total control over your relationship with him. 307 00:17:11,385 --> 00:17:16,093 So, a woman can't express her interest in sex without it being some professional powerplay? 308 00:17:16,094 --> 00:17:17,087 No. 309 00:17:17,088 --> 00:17:22,474 If you look the way you do, and you say what you said, you have to be aware of the effect that it'll have on men. 310 00:17:22,992 --> 00:17:24,033 Men should grown up. 311 00:17:24,034 --> 00:17:27,598 Yeah. And dogs should stop licking themselves, it's not gonna happen. 312 00:17:27,599 --> 00:17:28,412 What's going on? 313 00:17:29,439 --> 00:17:31,235 Yeah, what are you doing here? 314 00:17:31,270 --> 00:17:32,090 Looking for you guys. 315 00:17:32,091 --> 00:17:33,321 Why didn't you page us? 316 00:17:33,322 --> 00:17:34,443 'Cause I knew you'd be here. 317 00:17:35,310 --> 00:17:35,918 Who told him? 318 00:17:35,919 --> 00:17:36,536 No one. 319 00:17:36,537 --> 00:17:39,811 I assume you're trying to prove my crazy two-illness theory wrong, 320 00:17:39,812 --> 00:17:41,464 so, obviously, you're going to be in the lab. 321 00:17:41,465 --> 00:17:42,318 You spin the urine? 322 00:17:42,318 --> 00:17:43,679 Not yet. 323 00:17:44,282 --> 00:17:45,411 Talk to me when you have. 324 00:17:53,232 --> 00:17:54,224 What did you find out? 325 00:17:54,723 --> 00:17:57,730 The kidney failure. It's acute interstitial nephritis. 326 00:17:58,237 --> 00:18:00,103 I wonder if that's signifigant. 327 00:18:00,636 --> 00:18:03,755 It means the antibiotics didn't cause the kidney failure. 328 00:18:04,606 --> 00:18:05,181 How did you know? 329 00:18:05,182 --> 00:18:07,897 Well, if you guys hadn't been so busy trying to prove me wrong, 330 00:18:07,898 --> 00:18:09,588 you might have checked in on the poor kid. 331 00:18:10,554 --> 00:18:11,859 You visited a patient? 332 00:18:12,527 --> 00:18:14,290 I was sitting by his bed all morning, 333 00:18:14,291 --> 00:18:15,930 just so he'd know someone was there for him. 334 00:18:15,931 --> 00:18:17,823 I looked in on him. He's much better. 335 00:18:17,824 --> 00:18:20,910 Ergo, the treatment's working. Ergo, me right, you wrong. 336 00:18:21,695 --> 00:18:23,224 Hey, I'm glad for the kid. 337 00:18:26,412 --> 00:18:28,904 That smugness of yours really is an attractive quality. 338 00:18:28,905 --> 00:18:29,648 Thank you. 339 00:18:30,204 --> 00:18:32,622 It was either that or get my hair highlighted. 340 00:18:32,623 --> 00:18:34,231 Smugness is easier to maintain. 341 00:18:34,232 --> 00:18:37,453 I get that you're not a big believer in the 'catching flies with honey' approach, 342 00:18:37,454 --> 00:18:41,047 but do you honestly think you'll collect a jarful by cleverly taunting them? 343 00:18:41,048 --> 00:18:42,783 Flies, no. Doctors, sure. 344 00:18:42,784 --> 00:18:46,349 If I'd said to Foreman, "Nice try, it was a great guess, but not this time," 345 00:18:46,350 --> 00:18:47,358 what do you think he'd be doing right now? 346 00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:50,422 I think he'd be going home not feeling like a piece of crap. 347 00:18:50,423 --> 00:18:51,276 Exactly. 348 00:18:51,823 --> 00:18:53,593 You want him to feel like a piece of crap? 349 00:18:53,594 --> 00:18:55,331 No, I don't want him going home. 350 00:18:59,313 --> 00:19:00,283 Dr. Foreman. 351 00:19:02,812 --> 00:19:03,843 Still have the cough. 352 00:19:04,264 --> 00:19:05,720 I'm feeling a lot better, though. 353 00:19:05,721 --> 00:19:08,466 His fever's gone, and his rash is going away. 354 00:19:09,154 --> 00:19:10,065 I see. 355 00:19:11,453 --> 00:19:12,581 Is everything okay? 356 00:19:13,468 --> 00:19:14,919 Just ordering some tests. 357 00:19:15,417 --> 00:19:17,204 Absolutely nothing to worry about. 358 00:19:33,707 --> 00:19:34,700 How much longer? 359 00:19:35,310 --> 00:19:39,120 9:30, I figure she was on the 8th hole when I paged her... 360 00:19:43,818 --> 00:19:45,573 Probably got another half hour. 361 00:19:50,894 --> 00:19:52,975 I ran a TSH, T3 and T4. 362 00:19:52,976 --> 00:19:55,078 Patient's negative for hypothyroidism. 363 00:19:55,654 --> 00:19:56,723 Not talking about you. 364 00:19:56,724 --> 00:20:00,483 Well the fact that he's getting better would indicate the unreliability of the tests. 365 00:20:00,484 --> 00:20:03,732 If I'm right and it's a viral infection, one of two things always happens: 366 00:20:03,732 --> 00:20:06,565 patient dies or the patient's immune system fights off the invader. 367 00:20:07,738 --> 00:20:08,590 What's with her? 368 00:20:09,647 --> 00:20:11,977 Her leg hurts after running six miles. 369 00:20:11,978 --> 00:20:13,092 Who knows, it could be anything! 370 00:20:13,093 --> 00:20:14,093 He's getting better. 371 00:20:14,094 --> 00:20:16,578 That doesn't prove you're right, it just proves he's getting better. 372 00:20:17,970 --> 00:20:20,966 It, it's not two illnesses! It can't be two illnesses! 373 00:20:22,276 --> 00:20:24,489 I am so glad you work here. 374 00:20:24,490 --> 00:20:26,326 If I'm right, 375 00:20:26,327 --> 00:20:29,541 the antibiotics you prescribed could block his kidneys and liver, 376 00:20:29,542 --> 00:20:31,386 impeding his ability to fight off the virus. 377 00:20:31,941 --> 00:20:32,589 Could kill him. 378 00:20:32,590 --> 00:20:35,414 Well, that certainly would be a concern. 379 00:20:36,774 --> 00:20:37,886 Fifty bucks? 380 00:20:38,983 --> 00:20:41,297 Don't look away, the space monkeys will be all over you. 381 00:20:41,298 --> 00:20:42,630 You wanna bet on the patient's health? 382 00:20:42,631 --> 00:20:43,985 You think that's bad luck? 383 00:20:44,362 --> 00:20:48,095 Do you think that God will smite him because of our insensitivity? 384 00:20:48,559 --> 00:20:51,322 Well, if God does, you make a quick fifty. 385 00:20:56,041 --> 00:20:57,678 Go check his white blood count. 386 00:20:57,679 --> 00:21:00,527 If he's fighting off a virus like you think it'll be way up. 387 00:21:06,484 --> 00:21:09,512 Hey, Cuddy said you needed a consult, what's up? I'm busy. 388 00:21:20,339 --> 00:21:20,679 Ah! 389 00:21:27,638 --> 00:21:28,855 I was just being glib. 390 00:21:29,529 --> 00:21:30,655 You haven't said anything. 391 00:21:30,656 --> 00:21:36,451 No, before when I was talking about Brandon's girlfriend thinking sex could kill you. 392 00:21:36,502 --> 00:21:38,923 I was just making a joke because I was uncomfortable. 393 00:21:38,924 --> 00:21:40,934 Oh, I don't even remember what you said. 394 00:21:40,935 --> 00:21:42,427 I'm uncomfortable about sex. 395 00:21:43,580 --> 00:21:45,734 Well, we don't have to talk about this... 396 00:21:45,735 --> 00:21:48,535 Sex... could kill you. 397 00:21:48,917 --> 00:21:51,606 Do you know what the human body goes through when you have sex? 398 00:21:51,607 --> 00:21:53,898 Pupils dilate, arteries constrict, 399 00:21:53,899 --> 00:21:57,640 core temperature rises, heart races, blood pressure skyrockets, 400 00:21:57,641 --> 00:22:00,319 respiration becomes rapid and shallow, 401 00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:03,877 the brain fires bursts of electrical impulses from nowhere to nowhere 402 00:22:03,877 --> 00:22:05,757 and secretions spit out of every gland, 403 00:22:07,035 --> 00:22:10,331 and the muscles tense and spasm like you're lifting three times your body weight. 404 00:22:11,369 --> 00:22:14,285 It's violent, it's ugly, and it's messy, 405 00:22:15,259 --> 00:22:17,758 and if God hadn't made it unbelievably fun... 406 00:22:17,759 --> 00:22:20,564 the human race would have died out eons ago. 407 00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:25,884 Men are lucky they can only have one orgasm. 408 00:22:26,357 --> 00:22:28,666 You know that women can have an hour-long orgasm? 409 00:22:31,011 --> 00:22:32,211 Hey, Foreman. What's up? 410 00:22:33,270 --> 00:22:34,002 Hey, Foreman! 411 00:22:34,299 --> 00:22:34,877 Hey. 412 00:22:35,842 --> 00:22:37,869 White cell count isn't up, is it? 413 00:22:38,291 --> 00:22:38,906 No. 414 00:22:39,554 --> 00:22:40,653 We were both wrong. 415 00:22:41,169 --> 00:22:43,294 White cell count is down, way down, and dropping. 416 00:22:44,664 --> 00:22:47,326 His immune system is shot. We need to get him into a clean room. 417 00:22:53,857 --> 00:22:55,077 Can you walk, Brandon? 418 00:22:56,931 --> 00:22:58,501 Yeah, a little. 419 00:22:58,502 --> 00:22:59,459 All right, okay. 420 00:22:59,460 --> 00:23:02,041 'Cause we'll need to leave the chair outside. 421 00:23:02,711 --> 00:23:05,741 Thank you. Where's April? April! 422 00:23:06,611 --> 00:23:08,222 Can you take the chair, please? Thank you. 423 00:23:08,223 --> 00:23:08,909 Yes, Doctor. 424 00:23:11,153 --> 00:23:13,958 I'll need to take your mask and your robe, too. 425 00:23:21,676 --> 00:23:24,781 You might want to block your ears for this, it's quite loud. 426 00:23:36,429 --> 00:23:38,762 Something's made his immune system compromised. 427 00:23:38,763 --> 00:23:40,272 His white blood cell count is down, 428 00:23:40,273 --> 00:23:42,890 which means his body can't fight off infections. 429 00:23:43,350 --> 00:23:44,729 If he gets sick, he'll die. 430 00:23:44,774 --> 00:23:47,567 Sick. How sick? 431 00:23:47,602 --> 00:23:49,878 If he gets a cold, he'll die. 432 00:24:00,014 --> 00:24:00,582 Okay. 433 00:24:01,500 --> 00:24:03,804 I'm going to push the needle into your hipbone, 434 00:24:04,323 --> 00:24:05,680 and take some of the marrow. 435 00:24:08,104 --> 00:24:09,245 That's not so bad? 436 00:24:09,478 --> 00:24:13,840 Hah, that was just the anesthetic. 437 00:24:14,532 --> 00:24:17,564 The core biopsy needle, it's a little bit bigger. 438 00:24:19,382 --> 00:24:21,878 Okay man, take a deep breath, 439 00:24:21,879 --> 00:24:24,237 this is, this is gonna hurt. A lot. 440 00:24:31,158 --> 00:24:33,169 Marrow makes the blood cells. 441 00:24:35,070 --> 00:24:37,303 You take a peek of it under a microscope, 442 00:24:37,304 --> 00:24:40,421 and maybe we find a viral infection. 443 00:24:41,569 --> 00:24:43,839 Maybe we find some fibrosis. 444 00:24:44,220 --> 00:24:48,070 Something to explain why your blood count is so low. 445 00:24:49,564 --> 00:24:50,650 There we go. 446 00:24:52,598 --> 00:24:54,167 One step closer to an answer. 447 00:24:56,165 --> 00:24:57,470 What if you don't find one? 448 00:25:00,344 --> 00:25:02,061 I can't stay here forever. 449 00:25:10,196 --> 00:25:11,885 The patient could have died. 450 00:25:12,415 --> 00:25:13,560 The one with the pulled muscle. 451 00:25:13,561 --> 00:25:18,139 Well, those symptoms are consistant with a dozen other conditions. 452 00:25:18,140 --> 00:25:20,005 I, you know, I, I'm entitled to a consult! 453 00:25:20,006 --> 00:25:21,583 You are not getting out of clinic duty. 454 00:25:21,584 --> 00:25:25,287 Oh, come on. You've got a hundred other idiot doctors in this building 455 00:25:25,288 --> 00:25:28,489 who go warm and fuzzy everything they pull a toy car out of a nose, 456 00:25:28,490 --> 00:25:29,340 you don't need me here. 457 00:25:29,375 --> 00:25:33,089 No, I don't, but working with people actually makes you a better doctor. 458 00:25:33,090 --> 00:25:34,421 When did I sign up for that course? 459 00:25:34,422 --> 00:25:36,461 When did I give you the impression that I care? 460 00:25:37,141 --> 00:25:40,476 Working in this clinic obviously instills a deep sense of compassion. 461 00:25:41,424 --> 00:25:43,010 I've got your home number, right? 462 00:25:43,011 --> 00:25:45,244 In case anything comes up at 3 o'clock in the morning. 463 00:25:45,716 --> 00:25:47,095 It's not going to work. 464 00:25:47,096 --> 00:25:50,321 You know why? Because this is fun. 465 00:25:50,322 --> 00:25:52,822 You think of something to make me miserable, 466 00:25:52,823 --> 00:25:54,676 I think of something to make you miserable: 467 00:25:54,677 --> 00:25:55,413 it's a game! 468 00:25:55,414 --> 00:25:57,395 And I'm going to win, because I got a head start. 469 00:25:57,905 --> 00:25:59,670 You are already miserable. 470 00:26:03,569 --> 00:26:04,058 Uh... 471 00:26:04,059 --> 00:26:05,176 Is this important? 472 00:26:05,177 --> 00:26:05,904 Uh, no. 473 00:26:05,905 --> 00:26:06,607 Good. 474 00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:10,631 What's with you and her? 475 00:26:10,632 --> 00:26:11,329 Don't. 476 00:26:11,330 --> 00:26:13,297 Do you have a thing for her? The only people who can get to you... 477 00:26:13,298 --> 00:26:15,777 No! There is not a thin line between love and hate. 478 00:26:15,778 --> 00:26:20,719 There is, in fact, a Great Wall of China with armed sentries posted every 20 feet between love and hate. 479 00:26:21,169 --> 00:26:22,296 36 Vicodin. 480 00:26:22,754 --> 00:26:23,532 Who's the patient? 481 00:26:23,533 --> 00:26:24,099 I am. 482 00:26:24,100 --> 00:26:25,136 You can't... 483 00:26:25,137 --> 00:26:27,257 Dr. Wilson is the prescribing physician. 484 00:26:27,258 --> 00:26:27,792 Yeah. 485 00:26:28,213 --> 00:26:30,625 You will lie, cheat and steal to get what you want, 486 00:26:30,626 --> 00:26:32,302 but you're incapable of kissing a little ass? 487 00:26:32,303 --> 00:26:33,735 Well, we all have our limitations. 488 00:26:33,736 --> 00:26:34,584 House! 489 00:26:36,214 --> 00:26:37,011 Wrong bottle. 490 00:26:37,835 --> 00:26:38,649 Do me a favor. 491 00:26:38,650 --> 00:26:40,948 Take one of these, wait five minutes for it to kick in, 492 00:26:40,949 --> 00:26:43,575 and find Cuddy, and kiss her ass. 493 00:26:45,372 --> 00:26:46,773 What was the kid's first symptom? 494 00:26:48,490 --> 00:26:49,245 You did the history; 495 00:26:49,246 --> 00:26:51,688 of his 800 symptoms, which one hit him first? 496 00:26:51,788 --> 00:26:53,154 Ah, the cough. 497 00:28:20,771 --> 00:28:21,684 Gout. 498 00:28:27,368 --> 00:28:30,138 Um, are we talking about Brandon? 499 00:28:30,139 --> 00:28:31,187 Gout? 500 00:28:31,188 --> 00:28:33,181 Uric acid crystals in the joints? 501 00:28:33,182 --> 00:28:37,256 The symptoms are pain, swelling, redness, stiffness... 502 00:28:37,257 --> 00:28:39,175 not one of which do I see on that board. 503 00:28:39,176 --> 00:28:40,676 Because he doesn't have gout. 504 00:28:43,732 --> 00:28:45,972 Every day, cells die. 505 00:28:49,046 --> 00:28:52,507 We survive because the remaining cells divide and replace the losses. 506 00:28:54,076 --> 00:28:56,839 The colchicine, a gout medicine, 507 00:28:57,403 --> 00:28:59,607 blocks mitosis and stops cell division, 508 00:29:00,498 --> 00:29:02,837 which will result in abdominal pain, 509 00:29:03,367 --> 00:29:07,377 rash, nausea, fever, kidney failure, 510 00:29:07,377 --> 00:29:08,869 low blood pressure, 511 00:29:08,870 --> 00:29:10,501 and will also mess with the bone marrow. 512 00:29:10,502 --> 00:29:13,051 But he doesn't have gout. Why would he have gout medication? 513 00:29:13,052 --> 00:29:14,444 Because you guys were right. 514 00:29:14,445 --> 00:29:17,001 He didn't have two medications at the exact same time. 515 00:29:17,002 --> 00:29:18,197 First, he got a cough. 516 00:29:18,488 --> 00:29:20,470 Now, because he's an idiot, he went to a doctor. 517 00:29:20,471 --> 00:29:22,697 In order to feel justified charging $200, 518 00:29:22,698 --> 00:29:24,660 the doctor felt he should actually do something. 519 00:29:24,661 --> 00:29:25,322 Oops. 520 00:29:25,323 --> 00:29:26,688 He wrote a prescription. 521 00:29:27,183 --> 00:29:30,747 7000 people die each year from pharmacy screw-ups. 522 00:29:31,133 --> 00:29:33,075 Not nearly as many as die from doctor screw-ups, 523 00:29:33,076 --> 00:29:38,886 but still, not something they use in their promotional materials. 524 00:29:39,554 --> 00:29:41,006 And the only thing it wouldn't do: 525 00:29:41,552 --> 00:29:45,252 it would do absolutely to relieve his cough. 526 00:29:45,820 --> 00:29:47,105 Occam's Razor. 527 00:29:48,005 --> 00:29:51,313 The simplest explanation is almost always somebody screwed up. 528 00:29:51,314 --> 00:29:55,280 But once he checked into this hospital he was completely in our control. 529 00:29:55,657 --> 00:29:57,965 Our food, our pills, our everything. 530 00:29:57,966 --> 00:30:00,409 So even if you're right, no gout medication. 531 00:30:00,410 --> 00:30:03,634 He'd either continue to deteriorate or he would have gotten better. 532 00:30:03,635 --> 00:30:06,275 But he got better, and then he got worse. 533 00:30:06,276 --> 00:30:07,276 It doesn't fit. 534 00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:09,106 It doesn't make sense. 535 00:30:09,107 --> 00:30:09,664 Okay. 536 00:30:10,285 --> 00:30:11,700 Two people screwed up. 537 00:30:12,342 --> 00:30:14,362 Not as simple as one, but... 538 00:30:24,430 --> 00:30:26,108 He's resting; he 539 00:30:26,109 --> 00:30:28,489 I'm Dr. House. I'm your son's physician. 540 00:30:28,510 --> 00:30:30,929 Oh, you're the one we haven't met yet. 541 00:30:30,930 --> 00:30:32,955 You're the one he hasn't met. 542 00:30:33,439 --> 00:30:35,501 How can you treat someone without meeting them? 543 00:30:35,502 --> 00:30:37,095 It's easy if you don't give a crap about them. 544 00:30:39,767 --> 00:30:40,650 That's a good thing. 545 00:30:41,349 --> 00:30:45,183 If emotions made you act rationally, then they wouldn't be called emotions, right? 546 00:30:45,184 --> 00:30:47,325 That's why we have this nice division of labor: 547 00:30:47,326 --> 00:30:48,987 you hold his hand, I get him better. 548 00:30:49,727 --> 00:30:52,252 If I start tucking him in at night, well, that's not fair to you guys, 549 00:30:52,253 --> 00:30:55,267 and if you start prescribing medicine, that's not fair to me. 550 00:30:55,268 --> 00:30:56,694 So what I want to know is: 551 00:30:57,160 --> 00:30:58,912 who stepped on my side of the med? 552 00:30:58,951 --> 00:31:04,010 Who cared enough to get stupid enough to give him his cough medicine? 553 00:31:04,011 --> 00:31:05,366 When we checked in Dr. Foreman said 554 00:31:05,367 --> 00:31:07,639 Tuesday, he's getting better. 555 00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:09,699 Wednesday, he's getting sick again. 556 00:31:09,700 --> 00:31:12,602 Somebody gave him his cough medicine Wednesday. 557 00:31:17,624 --> 00:31:20,048 Come on, nobody's gonna be mad. 558 00:31:20,937 --> 00:31:23,693 I just want to know who tried to kill the kid. 559 00:31:23,694 --> 00:31:30,245 Dr. House, maybe we should... 560 00:31:30,246 --> 00:31:31,696 His throat was sore. 561 00:31:35,465 --> 00:31:36,536 Page Dr. Occam. 562 00:31:36,537 --> 00:31:37,875 He's gonna want to hear about this. 563 00:31:37,876 --> 00:31:41,348 Sorry! He was coughing, and I just wanted to help him... 564 00:31:41,349 --> 00:31:42,471 I wish you would dare. 565 00:31:42,472 --> 00:31:43,393 Where are the pills? 566 00:31:43,394 --> 00:31:46,576 He took the last of them before he was switched into that room. 567 00:31:46,577 --> 00:31:47,280 They're all gone? 568 00:31:47,281 --> 00:31:48,903 It was just cough medicine! 569 00:31:48,904 --> 00:31:50,796 No, it wasn't. Where's the bottle? 570 00:31:59,796 --> 00:32:02,242 We need to know exactly what you put in this bottle. 571 00:32:02,243 --> 00:32:04,180 We think it was colchicine, a gout medication. 572 00:32:04,181 --> 00:32:07,218 If the prescription said cough medicine, that's what I dispensed. 573 00:32:07,219 --> 00:32:09,682 The family is prepared to waive liability, all right? 574 00:32:09,683 --> 00:32:11,341 We just need to know what it was, 575 00:32:11,342 --> 00:32:13,594 - what dosage it was... - It was cough medicine. 576 00:32:14,652 --> 00:32:15,210 Refill it. 577 00:32:18,608 --> 00:32:20,099 He's going to be okay. 578 00:32:21,145 --> 00:32:22,211 You don't know that. 579 00:32:24,552 --> 00:32:27,278 Does Brandon like that quality in you? 580 00:32:28,555 --> 00:32:29,972 You're a little negative. 581 00:32:32,084 --> 00:32:33,840 Things don't always work out for the best. 582 00:32:33,841 --> 00:32:35,502 It doesn't hurt to hope they do. 583 00:32:35,503 --> 00:32:38,854 No. Not unless it makes you figure you can do whatever you want, 584 00:32:39,321 --> 00:32:40,872 like give people cough medicine. 585 00:32:42,786 --> 00:32:44,380 This is cough medication. 586 00:32:44,391 --> 00:32:46,422 This is what Brandon was supposed to get. 587 00:32:46,423 --> 00:32:49,597 They're small, round and yellow. 588 00:32:50,489 --> 00:32:54,294 Can you tell this man what the pills in your son's medicine bottle actually looked like? 589 00:32:56,603 --> 00:32:59,231 They were small, round and yellow, exactly like this. 590 00:32:59,232 --> 00:33:01,084 Those were the pills that Brandon was taking. 591 00:33:01,085 --> 00:33:03,207 Hey, I'm just a pharmacist, 592 00:33:03,208 --> 00:33:06,010 but I know what cough medicine looks like, Doctor. 593 00:33:10,933 --> 00:33:12,241 It was so perfect. 594 00:33:12,650 --> 00:33:13,524 It was beautiful. 595 00:33:14,405 --> 00:33:16,901 Beauty often seduces us on the road to truth. 596 00:33:19,118 --> 00:33:21,241 And triteness kicks us in the nads. 597 00:33:21,939 --> 00:33:23,214 So true. 598 00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:24,581 This doesn't bother you? 599 00:33:25,286 --> 00:33:26,577 That you were wrong? 600 00:33:26,937 --> 00:33:28,424 I try to work through the pain... 601 00:33:28,425 --> 00:33:30,999 I was not wrong. Everything I said was true. 602 00:33:31,592 --> 00:33:33,035 It fit. It was elegant. 603 00:33:33,036 --> 00:33:35,487 So... reality was wrong. 604 00:33:36,956 --> 00:33:39,020 Reality is almost always wrong. 605 00:33:45,223 --> 00:33:47,219 The cough medicine did something. 606 00:33:49,684 --> 00:33:51,411 Aggravated the condition. 607 00:33:52,241 --> 00:33:54,357 It's all over the place, must be in his blood. 608 00:33:54,358 --> 00:33:55,525 What if it is his blood? 609 00:33:56,612 --> 00:33:57,567 Lymphoma? 610 00:33:57,568 --> 00:33:58,812 Unless you've got something better. 611 00:33:58,813 --> 00:34:03,230 Well, we foolishly ruled out lymphoma because his CT scan showed no adenophathy, 612 00:34:03,231 --> 00:34:05,058 CBC showed a normal diffen smear, 613 00:34:05,058 --> 00:34:06,897 - bone marrow showed no... - Screw the tests. 614 00:34:06,957 --> 00:34:09,914 Do an exploratory laparotomy and find out what's in there. 615 00:34:11,563 --> 00:34:14,632 He has no blood pressure, no immune system and no kidneys. 616 00:34:14,633 --> 00:34:15,633 Surgery will kill him. 617 00:34:15,634 --> 00:34:16,930 Yeah, you're right. 618 00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:19,174 Let's stick with the wrong pill theory. 619 00:34:24,183 --> 00:34:26,024 I'll schedule him for surgery. 620 00:34:29,172 --> 00:34:31,304 Okay, Brandon, we're gonna run this tube 621 00:34:31,305 --> 00:34:34,642 through your heart and into the pulmonary arteries in your lung. 622 00:34:34,643 --> 00:34:38,926 Sensors will give us information we need for the exploratory surgery later this afternoon. 623 00:34:43,164 --> 00:34:44,689 My fingers are numb. 624 00:34:45,243 --> 00:34:46,043 Try not to move. 625 00:34:46,954 --> 00:34:48,506 We're in the right atrium, 626 00:34:48,998 --> 00:34:51,470 trying to catch the flow through the tricuspid valve. 627 00:34:51,471 --> 00:34:53,814 I think the catheter's curling in the atrium. 628 00:34:55,054 --> 00:34:55,515 Got it. 629 00:34:56,239 --> 00:34:57,271 We're in the RV in now. 630 00:35:00,944 --> 00:35:01,645 Ectopy. 631 00:35:02,047 --> 00:35:03,474 You must have irritated the heart wall. 632 00:35:03,475 --> 00:35:04,586 It'll calm down. 633 00:35:04,587 --> 00:35:07,133 He can't tolerate any cardiac arrhythmia. Pull back. 634 00:35:07,134 --> 00:35:08,368 He needs this surgery. 635 00:35:21,114 --> 00:35:21,976 Pressure's dropped. 636 00:35:23,421 --> 00:35:24,465 You still with us, Brandon? 637 00:35:24,466 --> 00:35:25,542 Get the curtains! 638 00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:38,765 Charging. 639 00:35:40,114 --> 00:35:41,838 Clear! 640 00:35:46,884 --> 00:35:47,802 Sign of rhythm. 641 00:35:50,242 --> 00:35:51,226 I got a pulse. 642 00:35:54,513 --> 00:35:56,510 Yeah, but no surgery today. 643 00:36:03,465 --> 00:36:04,196 How you doing? 644 00:36:05,609 --> 00:36:06,215 Okay. 645 00:36:06,216 --> 00:36:08,288 Great. I'm doing good, too. 646 00:36:09,553 --> 00:36:11,379 I get to knock off an hour early today. 647 00:36:11,380 --> 00:36:12,326 Know why? 648 00:36:13,083 --> 00:36:15,523 'Cause I kissed my boss' ass, you ever do that? 649 00:36:16,255 --> 00:36:19,156 I think she just said yes because she wants to reinforce that behavior. 650 00:36:19,157 --> 00:36:22,700 Wants me to kiss a lot of other people's ass, like she wants me to kiss yours. 651 00:36:23,628 --> 00:36:27,543 What would you want, a doctor who holds your hand while you die, 652 00:36:27,544 --> 00:36:29,677 or a doctor who ignores you while you get better? 653 00:36:29,994 --> 00:36:33,783 I guess it would particularly suck to have a doctor who ignores you while you die. 654 00:36:35,573 --> 00:36:36,492 I should go. 655 00:36:36,493 --> 00:36:37,993 You think it's going to come out on its own? 656 00:36:43,463 --> 00:36:46,685 Are we talking bigger than a breadbasket? 657 00:36:47,464 --> 00:36:49,190 'Cause actually, it will come out on its own, 658 00:36:49,497 --> 00:36:51,714 which for small stuff is no problem. 659 00:36:52,158 --> 00:36:54,513 Gets wrapped up in a nice soft package and plop! 660 00:36:54,514 --> 00:36:56,596 Big stuff, you're going to rip something, 661 00:36:56,597 --> 00:36:58,709 which speaking medically, is when the fun stops. 662 00:36:58,710 --> 00:36:59,315 How did you... 663 00:37:00,542 --> 00:37:03,529 You've been here half an hour and haven't sat down, that tells me its location. 664 00:37:04,356 --> 00:37:06,587 You haven't told me what it is, that tells me it's humiliating. 665 00:37:06,588 --> 00:37:08,324 You have a little birdie carved on your arm, 666 00:37:08,325 --> 00:37:10,595 that tells me you have a high tolerance for humiliation, 667 00:37:10,596 --> 00:37:12,578 so I figure it's not hemorrhoids. 668 00:37:17,164 --> 00:37:19,659 I've been a doctor 20 years, you're not going to surprise me. 669 00:37:22,282 --> 00:37:24,045 It's an MP3 player. 670 00:37:33,472 --> 00:37:38,820 Is it... is it because of the size, or the shape? 671 00:37:39,714 --> 00:37:42,033 or is it the pounding bass line? 672 00:37:43,175 --> 00:37:44,140 What are we going to do? 673 00:37:47,718 --> 00:37:48,825 I'm gonna wait. 674 00:37:49,225 --> 00:37:49,987 For what? 675 00:37:52,220 --> 00:37:54,415 Okay, it's 3:00, I'm off. 676 00:37:54,416 --> 00:37:57,749 Would you tell Dr. Cuddy there's a patient in Exam Room 2 that needs her attention? 677 00:37:57,750 --> 00:38:00,865 And the RIAA wants her to check for illegal downloads. 678 00:38:02,181 --> 00:38:03,731 Brandon's not ready for surgery. 679 00:38:03,732 --> 00:38:05,988 Okay, well, let's leave it a couple of weeks. 680 00:38:05,989 --> 00:38:07,303 He should be feeling better by then. 681 00:38:07,304 --> 00:38:09,180 Oh wait, which way does time go? 682 00:38:09,181 --> 00:38:10,484 He crashed during prep. 683 00:38:10,485 --> 00:38:12,288 He's also experiencing pain in his fingers. 684 00:38:12,289 --> 00:38:14,293 I think some bug may have gotten in the clean room. 685 00:38:14,294 --> 00:38:18,351 I think we should double his dosage of GCSF to temporarily boost his blood cell count. 686 00:38:19,733 --> 00:38:22,929 Pain in his fingers... right. 687 00:38:31,229 --> 00:38:31,982 Hi again. 688 00:38:33,211 --> 00:38:34,624 - He can't go in... - Where's he going? 689 00:38:37,799 --> 00:38:39,341 Hey! How y'all doing? 690 00:38:39,342 --> 00:38:43,340 Interesting fact: every seven years it's a whole new you. 691 00:38:43,341 --> 00:38:44,753 Inspiring metaphor, huh? 692 00:38:44,754 --> 00:38:46,438 Dr. House, this is a clean room. 693 00:38:46,439 --> 00:38:47,900 Yeah, I read the sign. 694 00:38:48,895 --> 00:38:52,330 But cells of different organs reproduce at different rates. 695 00:38:53,991 --> 00:38:58,625 So, a new kidney every three years, a new stomach lining every week... 696 00:38:58,626 --> 00:39:02,731 This is why colchicine poisoning causes all of these symptoms but not all at once. 697 00:39:02,732 --> 00:39:05,827 But we went to the pharmacy. We saw the pills! 698 00:39:05,828 --> 00:39:08,798 Colchicine does its damage in a very specific order. 699 00:39:08,799 --> 00:39:13,128 First of all, there's a pain in the abdomen, the rash, the fever... isn't that what you got first? 700 00:39:13,152 --> 00:39:17,546 Then, the kidneys go, which is exactly what happened to... 701 00:39:17,547 --> 00:39:19,023 Brandon. 702 00:39:19,024 --> 00:39:20,143 Right. 703 00:39:20,900 --> 00:39:25,106 Then it screws up your bone marrow, and then... neuropathy. 704 00:39:25,107 --> 00:39:27,628 Painful tingling in the fingers and toes. 705 00:39:27,629 --> 00:39:29,694 And what do you suppose happens after that? 706 00:39:35,547 --> 00:39:36,541 Hair loss. 707 00:39:37,340 --> 00:39:39,538 The bad new is: 708 00:39:39,539 --> 00:39:41,964 your special boy is doing drugs. 709 00:39:41,965 --> 00:39:42,821 No, he's not! 710 00:39:42,822 --> 00:39:43,714 Ecstasy? 711 00:39:43,715 --> 00:39:44,361 No! 712 00:39:45,898 --> 00:39:47,858 Twice, with Dan and Mike. 713 00:39:47,859 --> 00:39:49,594 D'you know what they cut that stuff with? 714 00:39:49,595 --> 00:39:51,519 Apparently colchicine, 715 00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:54,425 unless you ingested the colchicine through your contact lens solution, 716 00:39:54,426 --> 00:39:57,819 or skin cream, or some other drug you're lying about. 717 00:39:57,820 --> 00:40:00,525 I don't know how it happened, I don't care how it happened, it happened. 718 00:40:00,526 --> 00:40:01,526 Start... 719 00:40:03,352 --> 00:40:03,999 Brandon. 720 00:40:04,502 --> 00:40:05,262 Lovely name. 721 00:40:05,454 --> 00:40:07,711 Start Brandon on fab fragments, 722 00:40:07,712 --> 00:40:10,042 and give him some Tylenol for the hair I pulled out. 723 00:40:10,467 --> 00:40:11,878 And get some air in here! 724 00:40:14,359 --> 00:40:16,793 Make a note: I should never doubt myself. 725 00:40:16,794 --> 00:40:18,148 I think you'll remember. 726 00:40:18,149 --> 00:40:20,565 You know, it wouldn't hurt you to be wrong now and then. 727 00:40:20,566 --> 00:40:22,465 What, you don't care about these people? 728 00:40:27,468 --> 00:40:34,430 The colchicine interferes with the ability of the heart muscle to contract pumping blood, lowering your blood pressure. 729 00:40:34,431 --> 00:40:41,064 The antibodies we're giving you should neutralize the colchicine, 730 00:40:42,782 --> 00:40:45,460 allowing your heart to beat at its normal rate. 731 00:40:47,277 --> 00:40:48,315 When will you know? 732 00:40:50,212 --> 00:40:51,280 We know now. 733 00:41:18,618 --> 00:41:19,574 Big weekend? 734 00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:22,333 It's not for me, I'm fully stocked. 735 00:41:22,334 --> 00:41:23,762 Cuddy got you doing inventory? 736 00:41:23,763 --> 00:41:26,266 Nope. Trying to solve that kid's case. 737 00:41:26,852 --> 00:41:28,135 The gout medicine OD? 738 00:41:28,136 --> 00:41:28,908 Yeah. 739 00:41:29,429 --> 00:41:33,087 The fact that I know that it's a gout medicine OD would seem to indicate that the case is already solved. 740 00:41:33,088 --> 00:41:34,323 Well, you'd be wrong. 741 00:41:35,008 --> 00:41:39,657 What about the fact that the kid is now, I believe the technical term is, not sick? 742 00:41:39,658 --> 00:41:42,330 You know how many forms of colchicine there are on the market? 743 00:41:42,331 --> 00:41:42,765 Stop it. 744 00:41:42,766 --> 00:41:44,709 Neither do I, but it's a lot. 745 00:41:44,710 --> 00:41:48,077 Pills, powders, liquids, IV fluids... 746 00:41:48,078 --> 00:41:52,295 Somewhere at a party, in his coffee, up his nose, in his ear, this kid had some. 747 00:41:52,296 --> 00:41:54,277 So, you're not happy with your Ecstasy theory? 748 00:41:54,687 --> 00:41:55,766 He said he used it twice. 749 00:41:55,767 --> 00:41:56,535 People lie. 750 00:41:56,536 --> 00:41:57,620 Yeah, but if you're gonna lie, it's... 751 00:41:57,621 --> 00:41:58,859 You know what, I'm not interested. 752 00:41:58,860 --> 00:41:59,866 Not curious? 753 00:41:59,867 --> 00:42:02,291 No, because I'm well-adjusted. 754 00:42:04,059 --> 00:42:04,399 Right. 755 00:42:08,178 --> 00:42:09,218 Temperature's normal. 756 00:42:09,219 --> 00:42:11,054 I want Cousin Sharon there. 757 00:42:11,055 --> 00:42:13,960 If we invite Sharon, we have to invite all the cousins. 758 00:42:14,039 --> 00:42:14,898 So what? 759 00:42:15,102 --> 00:42:16,989 My side of the family doesn't need anything. 760 00:42:21,613 --> 00:42:23,720 Don't suppose I could have some of those cough pills, huh? 761 00:42:23,765 --> 00:42:24,856 They're okay, right? 762 00:42:24,857 --> 00:42:26,152 Yes, you're doing great. 763 00:42:26,153 --> 00:42:27,856 You should invite Dr. House. 764 00:42:27,857 --> 00:42:28,865 Will he come? 765 00:42:28,866 --> 00:42:30,354 No, but he'll send a gift. 766 00:42:31,582 --> 00:42:32,855 I'll make sure it's a good one. 767 00:42:33,979 --> 00:42:35,617 There's a letter on the back of these pills. 768 00:42:38,549 --> 00:42:40,276 Your old pills didn't have a letter on them? 769 00:42:40,679 --> 00:42:43,790 No. Round and yellow, but no letter. 770 00:42:50,468 --> 00:42:52,485 Well, these will help your cough. 771 00:42:52,486 --> 00:42:58,666 Hey, you want to go get some... 772 00:42:58,667 --> 00:42:59,170 No. 773 00:43:03,106 --> 00:43:09,720 One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do 774 00:43:10,972 --> 00:43:19,926 Two can be as bad as one, its the loneliest number since the number one