1
00:00:00,061 --> 00:00:04,998
So, you got a Green Beret, a Navy
SEAL and a sister from Brooklyn.

2
00:00:00,360 --> 00:00:01,860
www.tvsubtitles.net

3
00:00:05,066 --> 00:00:08,160
The general hands
each of them a gun and says,

4
00:00:08,235 --> 00:00:11,568
"Your spouse is seated next
door in a room in a chair.

5
00:00:11,639 --> 00:00:15,166
"In order to pass this test, you
must go inside and kill them. "

6
00:00:16,477 --> 00:00:18,035
Immediately
the Green Beret says,

7
00:00:18,112 --> 00:00:20,808
"No, sir, I could never kill
my wife. I just can't do it. "

8
00:00:20,881 --> 00:00:22,906
The General looks at him
and says, "You know what?

9
00:00:22,983 --> 00:00:26,248
"You ain't got what it takes.
Take your wife and go on home. "

10
00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:27,514
Navy Seal then heads in.

11
00:00:27,588 --> 00:00:30,455
Five minutes later, comes out,
tears strolling down his face.

12
00:00:30,524 --> 00:00:32,617
"I tried, I tried, I tried,
I just can't do it,

13
00:00:32,693 --> 00:00:35,025
"she looked so beautiful in
the chair, I can't do it. "

14
00:00:35,096 --> 00:00:36,927
General looks at him and says,
"You know what?

15
00:00:36,997 --> 00:00:38,464
"You ain't got what it takes. "

16
00:00:38,532 --> 00:00:41,899
Finally, sister from Brooklyn
strolls in with a swagger.

17
00:00:43,037 --> 00:00:44,061
Shots rang out,

18
00:00:44,138 --> 00:00:45,799
there's banging, there's
screaming, it's going crazy!

19
00:00:45,873 --> 00:00:48,341
Suddenly,
everything goes silent.

20
00:00:49,243 --> 00:00:51,473
The General says, "Well, what
the hell happened inside?"

21
00:00:51,545 --> 00:00:52,807
The sister from Brooklyn
screams back,

22
00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:54,871
"The damn gun
had blanks in it,

23
00:00:54,949 --> 00:00:57,315
"so I had to beat him to death
with my bare... "

24
00:00:58,586 --> 00:00:59,712
What the hell?

25
00:00:59,787 --> 00:01:01,448
A little bit of warning
would have been nice!

26
00:01:01,522 --> 00:01:02,921
The sound of a saw
cutting a hole in the wall

27
00:01:02,990 --> 00:01:04,014
wasn't warning enough?

28
00:01:04,091 --> 00:01:05,285
Bite me.

29
00:01:15,069 --> 00:01:18,038
What, are you kidding me? Tub of
Goo there's gotta be over six bills.

30
00:01:18,105 --> 00:01:19,902
You ain't gonna lift him
with a couple of blankets.

31
00:01:19,974 --> 00:01:21,464
You got a better idea,
Einstein?

32
00:01:21,542 --> 00:01:23,203
Yeah, just roll him off.

33
00:01:23,944 --> 00:01:25,844
What? He's already dead, it
ain't like he's gonna feel it.

34
00:01:25,913 --> 00:01:27,244
How the hell's
a guy get that big?

35
00:01:27,314 --> 00:01:28,338
You roll him off
from this high,

36
00:01:28,415 --> 00:01:30,178
he's likely to go right through
the floor and take us with him.

37
00:01:30,251 --> 00:01:32,981
Are you ready?
All right, one, two, lift!

38
00:01:35,256 --> 00:01:36,450
Come on, man!

39
00:01:36,524 --> 00:01:37,752
Me? You're the kielbasa king.

40
00:01:37,825 --> 00:01:39,292
It wasn't me.

41
00:01:39,927 --> 00:01:41,792
Whoa, it wasn't me, either.

42
00:01:45,232 --> 00:01:46,597
Don't look at me.

43
00:01:50,171 --> 00:01:52,036
Please tell me
dead guys can fart.

44
00:01:52,106 --> 00:01:54,131
Of course. Dead bodies are
full of all sorts of gases.

45
00:01:54,208 --> 00:01:55,573
But a dead body
can't tighten a sphincter.

46
00:01:55,643 --> 00:01:57,372
You need a tight sphincter
to make a fart.

47
00:01:57,444 --> 00:01:58,809
No, you need a loose
sphincter. A tight sphincter...

48
00:01:58,879 --> 00:02:00,506
You check his femoral?

49
00:02:00,581 --> 00:02:03,414
No. He peed all over himself!

50
00:02:03,484 --> 00:02:05,975
Look, I've heard dead bodies
moan, groan, hiss,

51
00:02:06,053 --> 00:02:07,748
hell, I've even seen them
sit straight up on a gurney.

52
00:02:07,821 --> 00:02:11,188
Trust me, his skin's cold, pupils are
fixed and dilated, he's not breathing.

53
00:02:11,258 --> 00:02:12,987
He's got a pulse!
No way.

54
00:02:13,060 --> 00:02:15,961
All right, give me an Ambu bag and
an EKG. It's thready, but it's there.

55
00:02:16,030 --> 00:02:17,554
Let's get him in a basket.
Ready?

56
00:02:17,631 --> 00:02:19,690
One, two, lift!

57
00:02:54,668 --> 00:02:57,432
Forty-six-year-old guy
in a coma.

58
00:02:57,504 --> 00:02:59,369
Doesn't appear to be
anything wrong with him

59
00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:01,738
except for the fact that
he weighs over 600 pounds.

60
00:03:01,809 --> 00:03:03,208
What time
does he usually get in?

61
00:03:03,277 --> 00:03:04,869
Any time between
8:00 and 10:00.

62
00:03:04,945 --> 00:03:06,776
Did you say 600?
At least.

63
00:03:06,847 --> 00:03:08,610
Biggest scale we got
only goes up to 350

64
00:03:08,682 --> 00:03:11,116
but this guy's waistline
is over seven feet.

65
00:03:11,185 --> 00:03:14,018
Which means he's a diabetic with
blood thicker than pancake batter.

66
00:03:14,088 --> 00:03:15,885
No mystery there,
not much we can do.

67
00:03:15,956 --> 00:03:17,116
Blood sugar's normal.

68
00:03:17,191 --> 00:03:20,683
Cholesterol's lower than mine, tox
screen's clean, no sign of trauma.

69
00:03:20,761 --> 00:03:22,353
Sure there wasn't
a mix-up at the lab?

70
00:03:22,429 --> 00:03:23,828
Three times?

71
00:03:23,897 --> 00:03:26,297
It's almost 11:00,
where is House?

72
00:04:10,577 --> 00:04:11,601
Hello!

73
00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:14,843
It's 11:00.

74
00:04:14,915 --> 00:04:19,375
Which means my friend is ready for his
sponge bath and I shouldn't be here!

75
00:04:20,754 --> 00:04:25,350
Hey, Gomer Pyle!
I know you can hear me.

76
00:04:35,736 --> 00:04:37,670
I think you mean Barney Fife.

77
00:04:38,105 --> 00:04:40,699
So many great idiot icons
to choose from.

78
00:04:41,842 --> 00:04:44,106
You need time
to think of some more?

79
00:04:44,178 --> 00:04:46,408
Either arraign me
or let me go.

80
00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:48,778
No problem.
Which do you prefer?

81
00:04:59,626 --> 00:05:00,718
What took you so long?

82
00:05:00,794 --> 00:05:03,957
Sorry. I didn't have 15 grand
in my loose change jar.

83
00:05:04,031 --> 00:05:06,431
What the hell did you do?
Nothing.

84
00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:09,866
Your motorcycle was impounded,
that explains the speeding, DUl,

85
00:05:09,937 --> 00:05:11,404
and driving
without a license.

86
00:05:11,472 --> 00:05:15,033
The fact that you're you explains
the illegal possession of narcotics

87
00:05:15,109 --> 00:05:16,906
and resisting arrest.

88
00:05:18,946 --> 00:05:20,345
Where's your car?

89
00:05:20,414 --> 00:05:21,506
What happened?

90
00:05:21,582 --> 00:05:24,574
Some idiot cop with crotch rot
obviously thought

91
00:05:24,651 --> 00:05:27,347
that I didn't treat him with the
deference due to a man of his stature.

92
00:05:27,421 --> 00:05:29,048
He trumped up a traffic stop,

93
00:05:29,123 --> 00:05:30,613
next thing I know
I'm sharing a cage

94
00:05:30,691 --> 00:05:32,090
with a guy
who thinks that showers

95
00:05:32,159 --> 00:05:34,559
are the way the devil
gets inside you.

96
00:05:34,628 --> 00:05:35,754
Does Cuddy know?

97
00:05:35,829 --> 00:05:37,797
Everything she needs to.

98
00:05:38,832 --> 00:05:41,266
I'm innocent.
Till proven guilty.

99
00:05:41,335 --> 00:05:44,168
Guy wanted to punish me,
he did it. It's over.

100
00:05:44,238 --> 00:05:45,330
Gotta get yourself a lawyer.

101
00:05:45,406 --> 00:05:46,395
Already got one.

102
00:05:46,473 --> 00:05:49,237
You know what they say about the
lawyer who has himself as a client?

103
00:05:49,309 --> 00:05:51,709
Same thing they say about
the doctor who lends 15 grand

104
00:05:51,779 --> 00:05:54,111
to a friend he knows
can't pay him back.

105
00:05:54,181 --> 00:05:57,514
Relax, you'll get it.
Where am I gonna take off to?

106
00:06:02,623 --> 00:06:05,421
Does Salma Hayek
live in Mexico or Spain?

107
00:06:07,261 --> 00:06:10,355
There's nothing abnormal in the
EEG or the neurological exam.

108
00:06:10,431 --> 00:06:12,456
I'm guessing
it's food-related.

109
00:06:12,533 --> 00:06:13,932
Improperly prepared
puffer fish

110
00:06:14,001 --> 00:06:15,491
can have toxins
that could cause a coma

111
00:06:15,569 --> 00:06:18,231
and might not show up
on the tox screen.

112
00:06:18,672 --> 00:06:19,764
Where do you think he is?

113
00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:21,307
He's probably
at the track.

114
00:06:21,375 --> 00:06:23,468
If he's at the track he'd tell
us so we don't have to page him,

115
00:06:23,544 --> 00:06:26,069
and if it was a puffer fish, he'd
be dead in six to eight hours, tops.

116
00:06:26,146 --> 00:06:27,613
He's been in a coma
at least 24.

117
00:06:27,781 --> 00:06:30,716
And the guy didn't get to 600
pounds eating a load of sushi.

118
00:06:30,784 --> 00:06:32,411
What if he was
in a motorcycle accident?

119
00:06:32,486 --> 00:06:35,148
Explains the coma.
But how'd he get back in bed?

120
00:06:35,222 --> 00:06:37,690
Oh, Cameron's talking
about House!

121
00:06:37,758 --> 00:06:38,952
You ever see how he drives?

122
00:06:39,026 --> 00:06:40,050
No, we haven't.

123
00:06:40,127 --> 00:06:42,186
But I have seen how many
pills he's been popping lately,

124
00:06:42,262 --> 00:06:44,787
I wouldn't be surprised if he's
in a coma somewhere himself.

125
00:06:44,865 --> 00:06:46,890
If I am, this is
one lame hallucination.

126
00:06:46,967 --> 00:06:47,991
What happened to you?

127
00:06:48,068 --> 00:06:51,401
If you ever end up in a bar with the
Cambridge Women's Heavyweight Eight,

128
00:06:51,471 --> 00:06:54,338
do not accept an offer of
an upside-down kamikaze shot.

129
00:06:54,408 --> 00:06:56,137
We have a case.
Fat guy in a coma, I know.

130
00:06:56,209 --> 00:06:57,301
Cuddy found you?
Nope.

131
00:06:57,377 --> 00:06:58,901
But the wall
between Wilson's office

132
00:06:58,979 --> 00:07:00,503
and this one
is thinner than you'd think.

133
00:07:00,581 --> 00:07:01,673
Which means
we need to stop talking

134
00:07:01,748 --> 00:07:03,375
about what a pathetic loser
he is.

135
00:07:03,450 --> 00:07:05,918
Start treating Jabba
for pickwickian syndrome.

136
00:07:05,986 --> 00:07:10,047
His 96 double-Zs are probably putting
pressure on his chest, suffocating him.

137
00:07:10,123 --> 00:07:11,886
CO2 and oxygen
sats are normal.

138
00:07:11,959 --> 00:07:14,519
For you and me. What's
normal for a hippopotamus?

139
00:07:14,595 --> 00:07:15,926
And get
a detailed medical history.

140
00:07:15,996 --> 00:07:17,258
From who?
He was brought in alone.

141
00:07:17,331 --> 00:07:20,767
And I doubt a guy who weighs 600
pounds bothers with annual physicals.

142
00:07:20,834 --> 00:07:22,597
Talk to the neighbors
and search the house.

143
00:07:22,669 --> 00:07:25,866
Let's see what else Shamu's
been up to besides eating.

144
00:07:26,673 --> 00:07:27,731
This conversation is over

145
00:07:27,808 --> 00:07:31,437
because I've officially run out
of clever things to call the guy.

146
00:07:38,719 --> 00:07:39,708
It's hard to believe

147
00:07:39,786 --> 00:07:42,380
you can even attach this much
flesh to a human skeleton.

148
00:07:42,456 --> 00:07:45,425
I wouldn't exactly
call this attached.

149
00:07:45,492 --> 00:07:46,584
This is ridiculous.

150
00:07:46,660 --> 00:07:49,220
A person shouldn't be able to
eat themselves into oblivion

151
00:07:49,296 --> 00:07:52,197
and then just expect everyone to
pull out the stops to fix everything.

152
00:07:52,265 --> 00:07:55,098
What are we supposed to do? Refuse
treatment to anyone who's obese?

153
00:07:55,168 --> 00:07:57,932
Come on, give me a break.
This guy's not obese.

154
00:07:58,005 --> 00:08:00,701
He's not even morbidly obese.
He's suicidal.

155
00:08:00,774 --> 00:08:02,401
People who attempt suicide
get treated.

156
00:08:02,476 --> 00:08:04,376
Plenty of noncompliant
diabetics don't.

157
00:08:04,444 --> 00:08:06,241
We don't give
drug addicts dialysis

158
00:08:06,313 --> 00:08:08,543
or alcoholics
liver transplants.

159
00:08:08,615 --> 00:08:10,105
What is your problem?

160
00:08:10,183 --> 00:08:11,707
You get beat up
by a gang of fat kids

161
00:08:11,785 --> 00:08:13,150
when you were in grade school
or something?

162
00:08:13,220 --> 00:08:15,688
Yeah. I'm the one
with the problem.

163
00:08:16,990 --> 00:08:19,151
So, I think
his bedroom's through there,

164
00:08:19,226 --> 00:08:21,421
and the kitchen's
to the left.

165
00:08:21,561 --> 00:08:23,426
Have you seen any changes
in his personality?

166
00:08:23,497 --> 00:08:25,727
Any trouble with memory
or balance?

167
00:08:25,799 --> 00:08:28,700
No, but I really
don't see him that often.

168
00:08:28,769 --> 00:08:30,430
He's not unfriendly
or anything,

169
00:08:30,504 --> 00:08:32,563
I guess he just likes
to keep to himself.

170
00:08:32,639 --> 00:08:36,575
I think he only gave me a spare
set of keys 'cause I gave him mine.

171
00:08:38,011 --> 00:08:39,137
What?

172
00:08:39,212 --> 00:08:43,171
Nothing. Just reminds me of
someone I know. Who is unfriendly.

173
00:08:43,250 --> 00:08:44,774
Does George have a job?

174
00:08:44,851 --> 00:08:46,978
He has a headhunting business
he runs from home.

175
00:08:47,054 --> 00:08:49,022
Occasionally
he'll interview people here,

176
00:08:49,089 --> 00:08:51,250
but he does most of it
over the phone.

177
00:08:51,324 --> 00:08:52,484
Wow!

178
00:08:52,559 --> 00:08:55,426
Yeah, he loves to cook.

179
00:08:55,595 --> 00:08:57,688
And eat, obviously.

180
00:08:57,764 --> 00:09:00,130
Four-course gourmet meals
almost every night,

181
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:01,394
sometimes for lunch, too.

182
00:09:01,468 --> 00:09:04,494
Do you know if he ever uses any
unpasteurized cheese or wild game?

183
00:09:04,571 --> 00:09:05,697
I'm not sure.

184
00:09:05,772 --> 00:09:08,605
He gets all his groceries delivered
from that market down on Alden.

185
00:09:08,675 --> 00:09:10,336
They'd probably know.

186
00:09:12,112 --> 00:09:14,080
He have any friends?
No.

187
00:09:14,381 --> 00:09:16,975
I mean, sometimes women
do come by.

188
00:09:17,484 --> 00:09:21,215
Young, attractive, never the same
one twice, if you know what I mean.

189
00:09:21,288 --> 00:09:22,312
I see.

190
00:09:22,389 --> 00:09:25,916
There can't be many women who'd
wanna be with a guy like him.

191
00:09:32,432 --> 00:09:34,400
It's usually worst
in the morning.

192
00:09:34,468 --> 00:09:35,901
Especially
if I've slept on my arm.

193
00:09:35,969 --> 00:09:38,870
If I sleep on my back or with
my arms out, I'm usually okay.

194
00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:44,040
So your arm only hurts after
you lie on top of it all night.

195
00:09:44,111 --> 00:09:45,237
Yeah.

196
00:09:46,413 --> 00:09:49,940
Well, have you thought about,
I don't know, not doing that?

197
00:09:50,016 --> 00:09:53,042
Yeah. But it's how I sleep,
it's how I've always slept.

198
00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:54,178
Well, there's always surgery.

199
00:09:54,254 --> 00:09:56,279
To do what? Like, clean out
some cartilage or something?

200
00:09:56,356 --> 00:10:00,122
You're not sleeping on some
cartilage, you're sleeping on your arm.

201
00:10:00,193 --> 00:10:02,252
You wanna remove my arm?

202
00:10:02,329 --> 00:10:05,025
Well, it is your left.
You know, a guy's gotta sleep.

203
00:10:05,966 --> 00:10:07,433
Are you insane?

204
00:10:17,477 --> 00:10:19,911
I see spending a night in jail
hasn't humbled you a bit.

205
00:10:19,980 --> 00:10:22,244
While following
my every move is flattering,

206
00:10:22,315 --> 00:10:25,978
a single rose on my doorstep each
morning would be more enticing.

207
00:10:26,052 --> 00:10:27,781
Just bringing your boss
up to speed,

208
00:10:27,854 --> 00:10:30,482
which I guess
you didn't feel was necessary.

209
00:10:30,557 --> 00:10:32,616
You gonna add that
to my list of charges?

210
00:10:32,692 --> 00:10:35,957
People who are innocent tend
not to try to hide their arrest.

211
00:10:36,029 --> 00:10:40,159
Is that based on your years of
experience arresting innocent people?

212
00:10:42,135 --> 00:10:43,898
The way
you're going at that gum,

213
00:10:43,970 --> 00:10:45,995
it's obviously not having
the desired effect.

214
00:10:46,072 --> 00:10:49,735
You're the addict. You're gonna
be back on the butts in a month.

215
00:10:49,810 --> 00:10:53,439
You're just taking out your frustration
on me 'cause my meds actually work.

216
00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:55,745
Why don't you quit
while you're ahead.

217
00:10:55,816 --> 00:10:57,647
Before you end up
as a security guard

218
00:10:57,717 --> 00:11:00,208
working the night shift
at some strip mall.

219
00:11:01,188 --> 00:11:03,213
I think working around
a bunch of nurses

220
00:11:03,290 --> 00:11:06,851
has given you a false sense
of your ability to intimidate.

221
00:11:15,202 --> 00:11:16,396
Who was that?

222
00:11:17,604 --> 00:11:20,698
Apparently Cuddy's widened
her sperm donor search

223
00:11:20,774 --> 00:11:22,298
to include Neanderthals.

224
00:11:22,375 --> 00:11:24,809
Cuddy's looking for
a sperm donor?

225
00:11:25,679 --> 00:11:29,206
It was a joke. Like Cuddy
would ever want a kid.

226
00:11:29,282 --> 00:11:30,374
Or a kid
would ever want Cuddy.

227
00:11:30,450 --> 00:11:32,645
Hello, that's why it's funny!

228
00:11:33,253 --> 00:11:34,550
Why are you guys here?

229
00:11:34,621 --> 00:11:36,179
It's not pickwick's.

230
00:11:36,256 --> 00:11:38,224
Intubation and steroids
have had no effect.

231
00:11:38,291 --> 00:11:39,952
Except maybe to cause
whatever it is to get worse.

232
00:11:40,026 --> 00:11:41,015
He's got a fever now.

233
00:11:41,094 --> 00:11:42,356
What'd you find out?

234
00:11:42,429 --> 00:11:45,193
That you and George have the same
taste in home furnishings and women.

235
00:11:45,265 --> 00:11:46,994
Danish Modern
and Russian gymnasts?

236
00:11:47,067 --> 00:11:48,159
Pianos and prostitutes.

237
00:11:48,235 --> 00:11:50,260
We should do an LP
and look for neurosyphilis.

238
00:11:50,337 --> 00:11:52,237
It's not syphilis.
How do you know?

239
00:11:52,339 --> 00:11:54,398
Because you get STDs
from people you trust,

240
00:11:54,474 --> 00:11:56,669
people you don't feel the
need to protect yourself from.

241
00:11:56,743 --> 00:11:59,337
Whatever he has is connected
to his gut, not what's below it.

242
00:11:59,412 --> 00:12:01,107
MRI his brain,
look for clots.

243
00:12:01,181 --> 00:12:04,116
Weight limit on the MRI
machine is 450 pounds.

244
00:12:04,184 --> 00:12:05,583
So do a CT.

245
00:12:05,652 --> 00:12:07,176
Limit's 350.

246
00:12:07,254 --> 00:12:08,778
Then just start treatment.

247
00:12:08,855 --> 00:12:10,789
If we give him blood thinners
and the coma's caused

248
00:12:10,857 --> 00:12:12,381
by a bleed instead of a clot,
we could kill him.

249
00:12:12,459 --> 00:12:15,792
Either start treatment or
start building a stronger MRI.

250
00:12:15,862 --> 00:12:17,261
Whatever you do, do it fast.

251
00:12:17,330 --> 00:12:18,490
The longer
he stays in the coma,

252
00:12:18,565 --> 00:12:21,329
the less likely it is
he'll ever wake up.

253
00:12:23,904 --> 00:12:25,667
There's no way.

254
00:12:25,739 --> 00:12:28,503
His head's the only part that
we have to get in the machine.

255
00:12:28,575 --> 00:12:29,940
If we can just
get him on the table...

256
00:12:30,010 --> 00:12:31,841
We get him on the table,
we break the table.

257
00:12:31,912 --> 00:12:32,936
We break the table,

258
00:12:33,013 --> 00:12:35,413
hospital's out a million dollars
and we're out of our jobs.

259
00:12:35,482 --> 00:12:37,643
The weight limit's
obviously just an estimation.

260
00:12:37,717 --> 00:12:39,981
It's not like if it can hold
450 pounds fine,

261
00:12:40,053 --> 00:12:42,248
it'll instantly collapse
under 451.

262
00:12:42,322 --> 00:12:45,780
He's not one pound over,
he's 150 pounds over.

263
00:12:45,859 --> 00:12:46,883
I don't care!

264
00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:49,258
He still deserves the same
standard of care as anyone else.

265
00:12:49,329 --> 00:12:52,696
Then you believe the machine
will stand on principle.

266
00:12:57,404 --> 00:12:59,565
You guys gonna help or not?

267
00:13:01,508 --> 00:13:02,907
How much
does this guy weigh?

268
00:13:02,976 --> 00:13:03,965
440.

269
00:13:04,044 --> 00:13:05,204
Looks like
a lot more than that.

270
00:13:05,278 --> 00:13:06,609
It's 'cause he's lying down.

271
00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:09,114
You guys ready?
One, two, three.

272
00:13:25,799 --> 00:13:27,562
Here.
What's this?

273
00:13:28,902 --> 00:13:30,995
I made some calls for you.

274
00:13:31,071 --> 00:13:32,971
The guy's the best criminal
attorney in Princeton.

275
00:13:33,039 --> 00:13:34,370
Thanks, but I don't need it.

276
00:13:34,441 --> 00:13:36,170
I assume
you told Inspector Clouseau

277
00:13:36,242 --> 00:13:38,210
that I have a valid
prescription for the Vicodin.

278
00:13:38,278 --> 00:13:40,769
Yeah, and I assume you did as
well. Did it make a difference?

279
00:13:40,847 --> 00:13:41,973
The guy's pissed!

280
00:13:42,048 --> 00:13:45,211
And with the DEA now treating
pain doctors like Colombian...

281
00:13:45,285 --> 00:13:48,015
I'm not a pain doctor,
I'm a pain patient.

282
00:13:48,888 --> 00:13:50,583
Tell it to your lawyer.

283
00:14:04,437 --> 00:14:08,032
No midline shifts,
no bleeds, clots, infarcts.

284
00:14:08,108 --> 00:14:09,700
I don't see
any edema, either.

285
00:14:09,776 --> 00:14:11,266
So what do we do now?

286
00:14:11,344 --> 00:14:12,538
An LP.

287
00:14:12,612 --> 00:14:15,479
Even if it's not an STD, a fever
points toward some sort of infection.

288
00:14:15,548 --> 00:14:19,314
I'm not sure we can do an LP
on a guy his size.

289
00:14:21,821 --> 00:14:23,152
What?

290
00:14:23,223 --> 00:14:25,316
You have to be able to palpate
the spine to know where to go.

291
00:14:25,392 --> 00:14:27,019
We could use fluoroscopy
to guide us.

292
00:14:27,093 --> 00:14:29,084
He still wouldn't be able to
bring his knees up and bend forward

293
00:14:29,162 --> 00:14:30,754
in order to open the space
between...

294
00:14:34,901 --> 00:14:36,596
George, it's all right,
you're in a hospital!

295
00:14:36,669 --> 00:14:38,364
Calm down, man, calm down!

296
00:14:38,438 --> 00:14:40,235
Get him out already!
I'm trying!

297
00:14:40,306 --> 00:14:41,534
Come on!

298
00:14:44,844 --> 00:14:46,471
We're gonna get you out!

299
00:14:55,155 --> 00:14:57,419
We still have no idea why
he was in the coma to begin with.

300
00:14:57,490 --> 00:14:59,355
Or why he woke up.

301
00:14:59,626 --> 00:15:01,651
It was probably just
some sort of head trauma

302
00:15:01,728 --> 00:15:02,752
and we missed the swelling

303
00:15:02,829 --> 00:15:05,593
because, well,
his head's already swollen.

304
00:15:05,665 --> 00:15:07,792
Bump on the noggin
doesn't explain the fever.

305
00:15:07,868 --> 00:15:10,928
An infection made worse by the steroids
we gave him for pickwick's does.

306
00:15:11,004 --> 00:15:12,995
He's not worse,
he's better.

307
00:15:13,073 --> 00:15:15,837
We just replaced
the last MRI you broke.

308
00:15:15,909 --> 00:15:19,037
Referring to the fund-raising
funbags by the royal "we" now?

309
00:15:19,112 --> 00:15:20,841
Let me explain
cause and effect to you.

310
00:15:20,914 --> 00:15:23,906
I specifically told them to
skip the boring testing part

311
00:15:23,984 --> 00:15:25,508
and jump right to
the dangerous treatment.

312
00:15:25,585 --> 00:15:28,349
You blow stuff up,
makes my life miserable,

313
00:15:28,421 --> 00:15:31,117
makes me need to make
your life miserable.

314
00:15:31,191 --> 00:15:33,091
He's telling the truth.

315
00:15:37,898 --> 00:15:40,628
Kids these days, got no respect
for other people's property.

316
00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:42,793
Repairmen cost less
than lawyers.

317
00:15:43,770 --> 00:15:46,466
Morbid obesity is a
legally defined disability,

318
00:15:46,539 --> 00:15:48,666
which means if we'd
denied access to the MRI,

319
00:15:48,742 --> 00:15:51,939
he could have sued us for
discrimination as well as malpractice.

320
00:15:52,012 --> 00:15:53,707
This was your idea?

321
00:15:53,780 --> 00:15:54,940
Yeah.

322
00:16:05,091 --> 00:16:08,583
Looks like Cameron's gonna be
having a lot more ideas in future.

323
00:16:08,662 --> 00:16:11,529
Who knew that being bloated and
bitchy could actually come in handy?

324
00:16:11,598 --> 00:16:13,293
Shut up.
What if it is hormones?

325
00:16:13,366 --> 00:16:14,697
It's not hormones.

326
00:16:14,768 --> 00:16:15,962
I'm talking about George.

327
00:16:16,036 --> 00:16:18,800
Acute adrenal insufficiency
could cause a temporary coma.

328
00:16:18,872 --> 00:16:21,670
A glandular problem would cause
his temperature to be low, not high.

329
00:16:21,741 --> 00:16:23,038
Maybe the fever's
not related.

330
00:16:23,109 --> 00:16:24,838
If it's not related,
there's nothing to talk about.

331
00:16:24,911 --> 00:16:26,674
We should do
an ACTH stimulation test

332
00:16:26,746 --> 00:16:28,714
and check his skin
for acanthosis nigricans.

333
00:16:28,782 --> 00:16:31,979
Or the fever is related
and so are the prostitutes.

334
00:16:32,052 --> 00:16:34,850
We should do a full STD panel and
check his genitals for chancres.

335
00:16:34,921 --> 00:16:36,149
We should do nothing.

336
00:16:36,222 --> 00:16:38,417
Just keep him a couple of days
for observation.

337
00:16:38,491 --> 00:16:39,515
If he doesn't get any worse,

338
00:16:39,592 --> 00:16:43,358
it was probably just a hematoma
that dissipated on its own.

339
00:16:43,763 --> 00:16:45,856
Or we do all of the above.

340
00:16:46,599 --> 00:16:48,328
You check his belly
for patches.

341
00:16:48,401 --> 00:16:50,130
You check underneath
for sores.

342
00:16:50,203 --> 00:16:53,502
And you just sit on your ass.

343
00:16:59,212 --> 00:17:03,308
Acanthosis nigricans is a
hyperpigmentation of the skin,

344
00:17:03,383 --> 00:17:06,147
usually indicates some sort
of hormonal imbalance.

345
00:17:06,219 --> 00:17:08,187
There's nothing wrong
with my hormones.

346
00:17:08,254 --> 00:17:11,189
It's the first thing every doctor
I've ever gone to has checked.

347
00:17:11,257 --> 00:17:14,055
Then it's the blood pressure,
then it's gotta be diabetes.

348
00:17:14,127 --> 00:17:17,528
They all figure there's gotta
be something wrong with me.

349
00:17:17,597 --> 00:17:19,622
You having any problems
with your vision?

350
00:17:19,699 --> 00:17:22,759
No, I have nystagmus. I've
had it since birth, I'm fine.

351
00:17:22,836 --> 00:17:24,929
You're not fine. You were
in a coma for two days.

352
00:17:25,005 --> 00:17:26,097
There's something wrong
with you.

353
00:17:26,172 --> 00:17:30,336
Was something wrong with me, now
I'm better, now I'd like to go home.

354
00:17:30,810 --> 00:17:32,675
A coma's not like
a stomach ache.

355
00:17:32,746 --> 00:17:35,078
You can't just shrug it off and
hope it's not anything serious.

356
00:17:35,148 --> 00:17:37,616
My company places
a lot of insurance executives.

357
00:17:37,684 --> 00:17:42,781
There are over 300,000 deaths
caused each year by medical mistakes

358
00:17:42,856 --> 00:17:46,986
and hospital-associated
infections. I'll come in for tests.

359
00:17:47,060 --> 00:17:50,552
There are over 400,000 deaths
caused by obesity-related illnesses.

360
00:17:50,630 --> 00:17:54,293
The CDC says those figures
are a gross overestimation.

361
00:17:54,367 --> 00:17:57,598
George, you ever notice you
don't see a lot of obese old men?

362
00:17:57,670 --> 00:17:59,934
If I'm gonna
have a heart attack,

363
00:18:00,006 --> 00:18:05,501
I would rather it be caused by
a perfect pan-roasted ris de veau

364
00:18:06,212 --> 00:18:10,581
than running 26 miles for no reason
other than to brag that I can do it.

365
00:18:10,650 --> 00:18:14,882
Or to have an MRI machine break
in the middle of a procedure!

366
00:18:14,954 --> 00:18:16,444
We're sorry about that.

367
00:18:16,523 --> 00:18:18,821
It was the only way to rule out
a stroke or brain hemorrhage.

368
00:18:18,892 --> 00:18:22,157
And now that you have,
when can I go?

369
00:18:31,104 --> 00:18:32,696
It's probably her mom.

370
00:18:32,772 --> 00:18:36,264
I bet she's huge.
She's from the Midwest.

371
00:18:37,477 --> 00:18:38,739
Since when do you eat beets?

372
00:18:38,812 --> 00:18:40,040
Since I was five.

373
00:18:40,113 --> 00:18:42,343
And who are we talking about?
You know, just in case you need me

374
00:18:42,415 --> 00:18:44,474
to chime in and tell you
you're a lunatic at some point?

375
00:18:44,551 --> 00:18:48,112
Cameron. She's lying,
destroying hospital equipment,

376
00:18:48,188 --> 00:18:49,485
telling Cuddy off.

377
00:18:49,556 --> 00:18:51,922
I gotta find out where she
got the Fat Scratch Fever.

378
00:18:51,991 --> 00:18:54,323
Yeah, you definitely better
get to the bottom of that.

379
00:18:54,394 --> 00:18:56,055
I heard Cuddy gave you
the name of a lawyer.

380
00:18:56,129 --> 00:18:59,997
Or it could just be pity. She feels
guilty about being born beautiful.

381
00:19:00,066 --> 00:19:02,626
So she overcompensates
by being nice to ugly people.

382
00:19:02,702 --> 00:19:04,636
Would explain why she gets
along so well with you.

383
00:19:04,704 --> 00:19:07,400
From what I hear, the patient
reminds her of you, not me.

384
00:19:07,474 --> 00:19:08,463
Call the lawyer.

385
00:19:08,541 --> 00:19:10,771
Cameron sees a clump of dirt
and she thinks of me.

386
00:19:10,844 --> 00:19:14,746
Or a lump of something else.
You're a lunatic. Call the lawyer.

387
00:19:18,017 --> 00:19:20,042
Very mature.
You started it.

388
00:19:20,153 --> 00:19:23,122
Skin exam and ACTH stimulation
test were both normal.

389
00:19:23,189 --> 00:19:25,248
He has nystagmus
but it's congenital.

390
00:19:25,325 --> 00:19:26,656
No way it's related
to the coma.

391
00:19:26,726 --> 00:19:30,059
You say, "No way,"
I say... Yeah, no way.

392
00:19:30,130 --> 00:19:32,360
Blood and urine were negative for
chlamydia, herpes, and syphilis.

393
00:19:32,432 --> 00:19:34,366
Looks like
we got ourselves a mystery.

394
00:19:34,434 --> 00:19:36,800
Not for long.
He wants to be discharged.

395
00:19:36,870 --> 00:19:39,270
Oh, sure.
Places to go, people to eat.

396
00:19:39,339 --> 00:19:40,465
He insists
his chance of dying

397
00:19:40,540 --> 00:19:41,802
from a hospital-acquired
infection

398
00:19:41,875 --> 00:19:44,036
is greater than him dying
from whatever caused his coma.

399
00:19:44,110 --> 00:19:48,171
Did you tell him that statistics
also say that he's a big, fat idiot?

400
00:19:48,248 --> 00:19:50,182
Yeah, I did.
He's not backing down.

401
00:19:50,250 --> 00:19:52,150
He says if we don't discharge
him, he'll leave AMA.

402
00:19:52,218 --> 00:19:55,676
Selectively rational,
stubborn, uncooperative,

403
00:19:55,755 --> 00:19:57,620
maybe you ought to
check his leg.

404
00:19:59,392 --> 00:20:02,828
Do you see what he did there?
The patient's like me.

405
00:20:02,896 --> 00:20:04,864
The patient's three mes.

406
00:20:05,298 --> 00:20:06,765
If I were him...

407
00:20:10,069 --> 00:20:12,799
Maybe it's not
such a mystery after all.

408
00:20:22,315 --> 00:20:23,976
Enjoying your Salisbury steak?

409
00:20:24,050 --> 00:20:25,881
Putting chopped parsley
in a hamburger

410
00:20:25,952 --> 00:20:28,250
does not
a Salisbury steak make.

411
00:20:28,655 --> 00:20:30,885
You must be Dr. House.

412
00:20:31,824 --> 00:20:36,352
And you must be
full of baloney. A lot of it.

413
00:20:36,429 --> 00:20:39,762
Right. Fat joke. Always fun.

414
00:20:39,832 --> 00:20:41,857
The only people
you can still make fun of.

415
00:20:41,935 --> 00:20:44,768
And Christians.
Oh, and black people.

416
00:20:45,471 --> 00:20:47,939
No one in their right mind
comes out of a coma

417
00:20:48,007 --> 00:20:50,407
and immediately asks to go
home with an unknown condition,

418
00:20:50,476 --> 00:20:52,205
which means that either
you're not in your right mind

419
00:20:52,278 --> 00:20:53,768
or it's not
an unknown condition.

420
00:20:53,846 --> 00:20:56,007
So, what is it?
You tried to off yourself?

421
00:20:56,082 --> 00:21:00,246
You figure I'm fat,
therefore I hate myself.

422
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,788
Yeah, that's a huge leap
of logic.

423
00:21:02,855 --> 00:21:06,256
I don't wanna die.
I just don't wanna be here.

424
00:21:06,326 --> 00:21:08,590
Then it's a condition
you've already had diagnosed,

425
00:21:08,661 --> 00:21:10,288
or it's something
you know you've inherited.

426
00:21:10,363 --> 00:21:12,729
Let's see, your stomach
has deep-seated feelings

427
00:21:12,799 --> 00:21:14,164
of abandonment
written all over it,

428
00:21:14,234 --> 00:21:16,361
which points toward
sexual abuse.

429
00:21:16,436 --> 00:21:20,338
While a fear of hospitals, that points
to a more specific traumatic event.

430
00:21:20,406 --> 00:21:24,934
So I'm gonna say, your mom in
the hospital with a candlestick.

431
00:21:25,011 --> 00:21:28,139
And by candlestick, of course,
I mean inherited OTC deficiency.

432
00:21:28,214 --> 00:21:31,809
My parents are both alive and
well and living in Boca Raton.

433
00:21:31,884 --> 00:21:33,875
Thyrotoxic periodic paralysis?

434
00:21:33,953 --> 00:21:35,352
I have no idea what that is.

435
00:21:35,421 --> 00:21:37,855
Leukoencephalopathy.
Will you stop!

436
00:21:39,325 --> 00:21:41,885
If I knew what was wrong,
I would tell you.

437
00:21:41,961 --> 00:21:45,055
I'm not an imbecile,
and I'm not miserable.

438
00:21:46,833 --> 00:21:48,630
I'm just overweight.

439
00:21:54,140 --> 00:21:55,129
What?

440
00:21:55,475 --> 00:21:56,464
When?

441
00:21:58,811 --> 00:22:00,403
To be continued.

442
00:22:25,405 --> 00:22:26,633
What are you doing here?

443
00:22:26,706 --> 00:22:29,072
Executing a search
of the premises.

444
00:22:29,142 --> 00:22:31,872
When you...
When you got bailed out

445
00:22:31,944 --> 00:22:34,879
before we could get a judge
to approve this,

446
00:22:36,115 --> 00:22:39,084
I almost didn't bother.

447
00:22:39,152 --> 00:22:43,145
I thought for sure you'd come
straight home and throw everything out.

448
00:22:43,222 --> 00:22:47,249
Rookie mistake. Never underestimate
the stupidity of an addict.

449
00:22:48,528 --> 00:22:53,056
There's gotta be
over 600 Vicodin in here.

450
00:22:53,132 --> 00:22:55,828
Which most DAs would say
proves intent to traffic.

451
00:22:55,902 --> 00:23:00,134
Even if all you really intended
was to simply be wasted 24l7

452
00:23:00,206 --> 00:23:01,332
while practicing medicine.

453
00:23:01,407 --> 00:23:04,308
In case you hadn't noticed,
those are prescription bottles.

454
00:23:04,377 --> 00:23:07,073
I'm not an expert
on linguistics per se,

455
00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:10,181
but I think that means
they were prescribed.

456
00:23:12,919 --> 00:23:14,409
All these
were legally prescribed

457
00:23:14,487 --> 00:23:16,580
to a man
who's in constant pain

458
00:23:16,656 --> 00:23:17,918
but never misses
a day of work?

459
00:23:17,990 --> 00:23:20,550
Has it ever occurred to you
that's why I don't miss a day?

460
00:23:20,626 --> 00:23:24,187
Yeah. Yeah, crossed my mind.
Among other things.

461
00:23:24,263 --> 00:23:28,256
Like what an unprofessional,
unethical, arrogant ass you are.

462
00:23:30,269 --> 00:23:32,794
Because if you're
unprofessional in one area,

463
00:23:32,872 --> 00:23:34,669
it only makes sense.

464
00:23:35,975 --> 00:23:40,571
Now maybe just a few of these
are in someone else's name.

465
00:23:42,115 --> 00:23:43,844
Forged prescription,

466
00:23:43,916 --> 00:23:48,012
or just, um, swiped from the
pharmacy when nobody's looking.

467
00:23:50,590 --> 00:23:54,924
No, but, well,
you wouldn't do that. Right?

468
00:24:04,637 --> 00:24:05,763
Send him home.

469
00:24:05,839 --> 00:24:07,466
Why? You think he's healthy?

470
00:24:07,540 --> 00:24:09,064
Either I'm right,

471
00:24:09,142 --> 00:24:11,940
he knows what's wrong, he's
just too stubborn to admit it,

472
00:24:12,011 --> 00:24:14,036
or I was right
and it's pickwick's.

473
00:24:14,114 --> 00:24:16,014
The treatment
just had a delayed effect.

474
00:24:16,082 --> 00:24:18,016
You don't have
delayed effects to oxygen.

475
00:24:18,084 --> 00:24:19,551
And Pickwick's
doesn't explain the fever.

476
00:24:19,619 --> 00:24:21,849
Being engulfed in an
electric blanket of blubber

477
00:24:21,921 --> 00:24:23,081
could explain the fever.

478
00:24:23,156 --> 00:24:25,454
Yesterday you insisted we keep
him here because of the fever.

479
00:24:25,525 --> 00:24:27,083
We have no idea
what's wrong with the guy.

480
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:29,185
For all we know he could
be dead in 12 hours.

481
00:24:29,262 --> 00:24:31,287
He does not want our help.

482
00:24:32,031 --> 00:24:33,521
Which means
he doesn't want your help.

483
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:36,501
He's obviously just
rationalizing. And so are you!

484
00:24:36,569 --> 00:24:38,036
You would never give up
this easy

485
00:24:38,104 --> 00:24:41,471
if you weren't so busy dealing
with your own personal problems.

486
00:24:41,808 --> 00:24:44,038
Send him home.

487
00:24:44,110 --> 00:24:46,044
What did you tell that cop?

488
00:24:46,112 --> 00:24:47,101
Nothing.

489
00:24:47,180 --> 00:24:48,408
Nothing as in nothing?

490
00:24:48,481 --> 00:24:49,948
Or as in nothing
that could cause him to think

491
00:24:50,016 --> 00:24:51,643
I have a stash
in my apartment?

492
00:24:51,718 --> 00:24:54,744
He called to see if I prescribed
the pills, I said yes. That's all.

493
00:24:54,821 --> 00:24:56,812
Obviously not.
What happened?

494
00:24:56,890 --> 00:24:59,984
He searched my house,
found a buttload of pills.

495
00:25:00,827 --> 00:25:02,624
Guy's gotta be prepared
for a rainy day.

496
00:25:02,695 --> 00:25:04,959
Last I checked pharmacies
were still open when it rained.

497
00:25:05,031 --> 00:25:07,556
And because I never know when
you're gonna be in one of your moods

498
00:25:07,634 --> 00:25:08,623
and cut me off.

499
00:25:08,701 --> 00:25:09,895
Oh, it's my fault.

500
00:25:09,969 --> 00:25:11,561
I'm not the one
who talked to the cop.

501
00:25:11,638 --> 00:25:14,630
Well, I'm not the one who put
a thermometer in his rectum.

502
00:25:14,707 --> 00:25:18,143
So stop yelling at me and
start talking to your lawyer.

503
00:25:21,814 --> 00:25:23,543
Is there someone
who can check on you?

504
00:25:23,616 --> 00:25:24,605
Oh, don't worry.

505
00:25:24,684 --> 00:25:27,847
There's gonna be a whole crew
of carpenters in my bedroom

506
00:25:27,921 --> 00:25:29,855
for the next week at least.

507
00:25:30,323 --> 00:25:34,521
You know, there's an Overeaters
Anonymous meeting here at the hospital.

508
00:25:34,594 --> 00:25:37,893
If I wanted to jump out of
airplanes or climb Mount Everest,

509
00:25:37,964 --> 00:25:40,694
would you be telling me to
go to Daredevils Anonymous?

510
00:25:40,767 --> 00:25:42,894
I would be worried about you
just like I am now.

511
00:25:42,969 --> 00:25:44,095
Don't be.

512
00:25:44,404 --> 00:25:45,871
I enjoy food.

513
00:25:46,339 --> 00:25:50,002
I like cooking it, I like
looking at it, I like smelling it,

514
00:25:50,076 --> 00:25:52,408
and I especially
like eating it.

515
00:25:53,346 --> 00:25:56,975
Listen, whatever happens
is gonna happen.

516
00:25:57,850 --> 00:26:01,342
Ultimately it's all
out of our control anyway.

517
00:26:01,421 --> 00:26:02,718
Why doesn't
that philosophy apply

518
00:26:02,789 --> 00:26:06,418
to medical mistakes and
hospital-acquired infections as well?

519
00:26:08,428 --> 00:26:10,953
I'm a complicated man,
Dr. Cameron.

520
00:26:11,965 --> 00:26:14,991
But don't worry, I plan on
staying that way for a long time.

521
00:26:15,068 --> 00:26:16,797
Wait, wait, let us take you
all the way outside.

522
00:26:16,869 --> 00:26:17,927
I'm fine.

523
00:26:18,004 --> 00:26:20,438
It doesn't matter,
it's hospital rules.

524
00:26:20,506 --> 00:26:23,703
Oh, screw the rules. I've
been on my back for four days.

525
00:26:23,776 --> 00:26:25,141
I need the exercise, right?

526
00:26:25,211 --> 00:26:27,042
George, come on, let us
just take you to the taxi.

527
00:26:27,113 --> 00:26:31,379
Don't worry, I may not be able to
climb Everest, but I can walk, okay?

528
00:26:31,451 --> 00:26:33,919
George...
Now enough already.

529
00:26:41,127 --> 00:26:43,095
George, are you all right?

530
00:26:48,034 --> 00:26:51,162
George? You all right? George?

531
00:26:59,078 --> 00:27:01,171
Disorientation
and loss of balance

532
00:27:01,247 --> 00:27:03,477
could mean
a neurofibromatosis.

533
00:27:03,616 --> 00:27:04,981
Where's Chase?
Don't know.

534
00:27:05,051 --> 00:27:07,679
Haven't seen him since you told
him to sit on his ass yesterday.

535
00:27:07,754 --> 00:27:09,153
Interesting.

536
00:27:09,222 --> 00:27:11,782
NF2 is also inherited,
which means I was right.

537
00:27:11,858 --> 00:27:12,950
You kept saying
it was pickwick's.

538
00:27:13,026 --> 00:27:15,859
Between the first pickwick's and the
second pickwick's, I said it was inherited.

539
00:27:15,928 --> 00:27:17,896
Whatever.
NF2 doesn't explain fever.

540
00:27:17,964 --> 00:27:19,795
I think we should focus
on the coma and the fever.

541
00:27:19,866 --> 00:27:22,061
Why? The disorientation and
loss of balance are more recent.

542
00:27:22,135 --> 00:27:23,602
The coma was
the most severe symptom.

543
00:27:23,670 --> 00:27:26,901
But he's not in the coma
anymore and he is disoriented.

544
00:27:26,973 --> 00:27:28,804
No, he's not.

545
00:27:28,875 --> 00:27:32,242
We have a rather large piece of
tempered glass that begs to differ.

546
00:27:32,312 --> 00:27:35,008
I just mean
it's not connected.

547
00:27:35,081 --> 00:27:36,480
You don't know that.

548
00:27:36,549 --> 00:27:37,573
Yeah, I do.

549
00:27:37,650 --> 00:27:38,912
How could
you possibly know...

550
00:27:38,985 --> 00:27:40,612
Because I did it!

551
00:27:44,223 --> 00:27:46,953
I didn't think
he should be discharged,

552
00:27:47,026 --> 00:27:49,654
so I gave him
three grams of phenytoin.

553
00:27:50,096 --> 00:27:51,688
I wasn't gonna just
let him leave.

554
00:27:51,764 --> 00:27:54,392
But you were okay with him
crashing through a glass wall?

555
00:27:54,467 --> 00:27:57,197
I tried to keep him in the
wheelchair, but he's tough to stop.

556
00:27:57,270 --> 00:27:59,261
Nice audible, Peyton.

557
00:28:00,340 --> 00:28:02,171
So, what do we do now?

558
00:28:02,241 --> 00:28:05,176
Discharge report says
he didn't eat his breakfast.

559
00:28:05,244 --> 00:28:08,077
Humpty Dumpty didn't get to be
the size of all the king's horses

560
00:28:08,147 --> 00:28:10,012
by skipping the most
important meal of the day.

561
00:28:10,083 --> 00:28:12,881
What causes coma, fever,
and loss of appetite?

562
00:28:12,952 --> 00:28:15,113
It can't be Chagas', he's
never been outside the country.

563
00:28:15,188 --> 00:28:16,314
But his stomach has.

564
00:28:16,389 --> 00:28:18,880
The food we eat no longer
comes from America's heartland.

565
00:28:18,958 --> 00:28:21,449
It comes from South America's
deforested jungle land

566
00:28:21,527 --> 00:28:24,257
where lettuce now grows
and lettuce pickers now poop.

567
00:28:24,330 --> 00:28:25,592
Get a sample of his CSF

568
00:28:25,665 --> 00:28:28,725
before the little bugs that are now
feasting on his brain move on to dessert.

569
00:28:28,801 --> 00:28:32,168
How are we gonna do that?
He's too big to do an LP.

570
00:28:32,972 --> 00:28:35,167
So go straight to the source.

571
00:28:36,776 --> 00:28:39,574
You wanna drill a hole
in my head?

572
00:28:39,645 --> 00:28:40,805
It's the only way.

573
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:43,940
It's gotta be something
other than a parasite.

574
00:28:44,150 --> 00:28:48,348
I buy my produce at the best
market in town and I always wash it.

575
00:28:48,421 --> 00:28:50,321
Leafy vegetables
can suck contaminated water

576
00:28:50,390 --> 00:28:52,051
through their roots
right into the plant.

577
00:28:52,125 --> 00:28:53,717
You could have
washed them in chlorine

578
00:28:53,793 --> 00:28:55,658
and it still
wouldn't have mattered.

579
00:28:55,728 --> 00:28:58,253
Then other people
would be sick as well.

580
00:28:58,331 --> 00:29:00,925
The parasites could have been
on only a few items,

581
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:02,934
or maybe they just didn't eat
as much as you did.

582
00:29:03,002 --> 00:29:05,835
It's always
about my weight, isn't it?

583
00:29:05,905 --> 00:29:08,499
Why can't you people
come up with one theory...

584
00:29:08,574 --> 00:29:09,939
This one fits, George.

585
00:29:10,009 --> 00:29:14,207
It explains your coma, your
fever, your loss of appetite...

586
00:29:19,185 --> 00:29:22,348
And the disorientation?

587
00:29:23,089 --> 00:29:24,579
It's all explained.

588
00:29:24,657 --> 00:29:26,887
And if we don't treat it while
it's still in the acute stage,

589
00:29:26,959 --> 00:29:28,187
it'll be too late.

590
00:29:28,261 --> 00:29:31,719
It could go on to infect your
heart, intestines, esophagus...

591
00:29:37,703 --> 00:29:40,194
This is what I get
for eating salad.

592
00:29:47,447 --> 00:29:49,506
Suction.
Suction.

593
00:29:49,715 --> 00:29:51,182
Aspirator.

594
00:29:59,625 --> 00:30:01,354
Your turn.

595
00:30:03,529 --> 00:30:04,757
Irrigation.

596
00:30:05,932 --> 00:30:07,058
Sponge.

597
00:30:07,133 --> 00:30:08,430
What did you do?

598
00:30:08,501 --> 00:30:09,695
Nothing. Why, what's wrong?

599
00:30:09,769 --> 00:30:11,794
(STUTTERING) I can't see.

600
00:30:11,871 --> 00:30:13,566
Vision's blurry
or you've lost...

601
00:30:13,639 --> 00:30:15,106
I didn't lose it,
you took it from me!

602
00:30:15,174 --> 00:30:16,937
George, calm down.
I can't see!

603
00:30:17,009 --> 00:30:18,203
Give me some lorazepam!

604
00:30:18,277 --> 00:30:20,177
What did you do to me?
Hold still!

605
00:30:20,246 --> 00:30:21,679
George! George!
What's going on?

606
00:30:21,747 --> 00:30:24,875
No. No. Calm down!
What did you do to me?

607
00:30:26,719 --> 00:30:29,688
There's no inflammation in the
optic nerve and his retina's intact.

608
00:30:29,755 --> 00:30:32,189
The blindness has to have been
caused by something in his brain.

609
00:30:32,258 --> 00:30:34,249
And not surprisingly
there was no sign of Chagas'

610
00:30:34,327 --> 00:30:36,295
or any other
parasites in his CSF.

611
00:30:36,362 --> 00:30:38,523
So we've ruled out
his parents,

612
00:30:38,598 --> 00:30:40,998
prostitutes, the arugula.
Means either...

613
00:30:41,067 --> 00:30:42,432
I took the sample
from the prefrontal.

614
00:30:42,502 --> 00:30:44,367
I was never anywhere
near his visual cortex.

615
00:30:44,437 --> 00:30:47,167
Or you missed a tumor
on the MRI.

616
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:49,037
Not a chance,
the MRI was clean.

617
00:30:49,108 --> 00:30:50,905
You mind?
Where are you going?

618
00:30:50,977 --> 00:30:52,638
To get a $400 butt plug.

619
00:30:52,712 --> 00:30:53,838
What about George?

620
00:30:53,913 --> 00:30:56,177
He's gonna have to
get his own. Come on.

621
00:30:56,249 --> 00:30:57,841
Let's see if we can
get this thing figured out

622
00:30:57,917 --> 00:30:59,441
by the time
we get to the elevator.

623
00:30:59,519 --> 00:31:01,043
It could be MS.

624
00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:02,712
Would explain the coma,
the blindness,

625
00:31:02,788 --> 00:31:04,153
loss of balance,
and the fever.

626
00:31:04,223 --> 00:31:06,088
Could also explain his lack
of concern for his health.

627
00:31:06,158 --> 00:31:07,750
MS can cause
excessive cheerfulness.

628
00:31:07,827 --> 00:31:09,124
Yeah, he's a delight.

629
00:31:09,195 --> 00:31:11,561
You don't get to MS with
coma as the first symptom.

630
00:31:11,631 --> 00:31:15,067
Blindness plus coma
says diabetes. Just in time.

631
00:31:15,167 --> 00:31:18,193
No. Blood sugar, urine dip stick
and hemoglobin A1c are normal.

632
00:31:18,271 --> 00:31:19,829
Were normal when you tested.

633
00:31:19,906 --> 00:31:21,032
He's been
in and out of a coma,

634
00:31:21,107 --> 00:31:22,665
whatever's going on
is waxing and waning,

635
00:31:22,742 --> 00:31:24,733
unlike his pants size,
which only waxes.

636
00:31:24,810 --> 00:31:27,472
Which also points to diabetes.
Test him again.

637
00:31:27,547 --> 00:31:29,913
And this time add a glucose
tolerance test and an HEC.

638
00:31:29,982 --> 00:31:31,643
We already have
a CSF sample,

639
00:31:31,717 --> 00:31:34,379
we might as well check it for
proteins to rule out MS first.

640
00:31:34,453 --> 00:31:36,944
Agreed. Except for the part
about doing it first.

641
00:31:37,023 --> 00:31:38,012
Where are you going?

642
00:31:38,090 --> 00:31:40,558
The butt plug was my way of
saying, "Mind your own business. "

643
00:31:40,626 --> 00:31:42,321
Apparently too subtle.

644
00:31:42,795 --> 00:31:45,593
George, all it is
is sugar water, I promise.

645
00:31:45,665 --> 00:31:48,293
Just because I'm overweight
doesn't make me diabetic!

646
00:31:48,367 --> 00:31:50,460
You tested me,
everybody's tested me.

647
00:31:50,536 --> 00:31:52,231
Sometimes the blood sugar
levels can fluctuate,

648
00:31:52,305 --> 00:31:53,567
make it difficult
to diagnose.

649
00:31:53,639 --> 00:31:57,006
You stuck a needle in my brain
and 10 seconds later I was blind!

650
00:31:57,076 --> 00:31:58,907
How is that difficult
to diagnose?

651
00:31:58,978 --> 00:32:01,412
Who the hell knows what
else you guys done to me?

652
00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:03,277
I should have never come
here! You didn't come here,

653
00:32:03,349 --> 00:32:06,250
you were brought here because you
were in a coma and barely alive.

654
00:32:06,319 --> 00:32:10,016
We didn't do that to you, you
need to let us figure out what did.

655
00:32:12,224 --> 00:32:13,953
For someone who insists he
enjoys life as much as you do,

656
00:32:14,026 --> 00:32:15,994
you certainly don't seem
willing to do much to prolong it.

657
00:32:16,062 --> 00:32:17,529
Yeah,

658
00:32:17,597 --> 00:32:22,261
because I don't agree with the
brilliant doctors, suddenly I'm suicidal!

659
00:32:22,335 --> 00:32:25,862
Refusing to cooperate with us does not
make you suicidal, it makes you an idiot.

660
00:32:25,938 --> 00:32:28,702
You think we want to see
you blind or in a coma?

661
00:32:31,978 --> 00:32:34,003
I've been fat all my life.

662
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:37,581
I've only been sick
for the past few days.

663
00:32:39,151 --> 00:32:42,450
You look for a disease that
has nothing to do with my size,

664
00:32:42,521 --> 00:32:44,113
and I will help you.

665
00:32:45,625 --> 00:32:48,958
Otherwise, leave me alone.

666
00:32:52,298 --> 00:32:57,497
Speeding, DUl,
reckless driving,

667
00:32:57,570 --> 00:33:01,506
resisting arrest, possession
of a class three narcotic.

668
00:33:01,574 --> 00:33:02,768
And now it looks like
they've added

669
00:33:02,842 --> 00:33:06,334
another possession with intent
to traffic charge as well.

670
00:33:07,913 --> 00:33:09,608
They found some pills
at your house.

671
00:33:09,682 --> 00:33:11,877
All of which
I had a prescription for.

672
00:33:11,951 --> 00:33:12,975
That's a lot of pills.

673
00:33:13,052 --> 00:33:14,849
I'm in a lot of pain.

674
00:33:15,021 --> 00:33:18,457
This is all because some cop
came into the clinic,

675
00:33:18,524 --> 00:33:21,186
I was rude to him, this is
his way of getting back at me.

676
00:33:21,260 --> 00:33:22,488
You've made it pretty easy.

677
00:33:22,561 --> 00:33:27,157
His insane reaction to a simple
rectal thermometer reading

678
00:33:27,233 --> 00:33:30,896
probably says a lot more about
his mother than it says about me.

679
00:33:31,771 --> 00:33:34,706
I'm inclined to think
your particular charm

680
00:33:35,641 --> 00:33:39,168
may not be immediately
appreciated by a jury.

681
00:33:39,245 --> 00:33:41,042
I'm not interested
in a plea bargain.

682
00:33:41,113 --> 00:33:43,479
It's your best bet
to make this go away.

683
00:33:43,549 --> 00:33:46,484
There is no this.
There's a him.

684
00:33:46,552 --> 00:33:49,419
The only thing I'm guilty of
is humiliating a bully.

685
00:33:49,488 --> 00:33:52,013
I wasn't speeding, I wasn't
impaired, I didn't resist,

686
00:33:52,091 --> 00:33:53,888
and I certainly was not
distributing narcotics

687
00:33:53,959 --> 00:33:55,153
to anyone but myself,

688
00:33:55,227 --> 00:33:57,252
because I need
those narcotics.

689
00:33:58,097 --> 00:33:59,587
Five grand retainer.

690
00:33:59,665 --> 00:34:02,930
If we end up going to trial, there'll
be another 30 due before the first day.

691
00:34:03,002 --> 00:34:06,028
My hourly is 450.
That work for you?

692
00:34:10,843 --> 00:34:12,777
What'd your lawyer say?

693
00:34:13,512 --> 00:34:16,208
I looked up butt plug in a
legal dictionary. What'd he say?

694
00:34:16,282 --> 00:34:18,716
That a smile like mine
can't lose.

695
00:34:19,385 --> 00:34:20,545
What did the tests say?

696
00:34:20,619 --> 00:34:23,611
You were right about MS. No
myelin basic proteins in his CSF.

697
00:34:23,689 --> 00:34:25,020
What about diabetes?
Don't know.

698
00:34:25,091 --> 00:34:26,285
He says
we only think it's diabetes

699
00:34:26,358 --> 00:34:29,054
because of his weight,
won't let us test him.

700
00:34:43,909 --> 00:34:47,470
So, you would rather be a blind
invalid than admit the fact

701
00:34:47,546 --> 00:34:50,310
that maybe you might have a
little problem with overeating.

702
00:34:50,382 --> 00:34:51,440
By a little problem,
of course,

703
00:34:51,517 --> 00:34:53,382
I mean you've eaten yourself
half to death.

704
00:34:53,452 --> 00:34:55,716
And you would rather let me
die than consider the fact

705
00:34:55,788 --> 00:34:59,019
that whatever is wrong with me
has nothing to do with my weight.

706
00:34:59,091 --> 00:35:01,457
I go where the symptoms
tell me to go.

707
00:35:01,527 --> 00:35:03,427
And right now
they're asking why this stuff

708
00:35:03,496 --> 00:35:05,623
is the first thing you've
ever refused to swallow.

709
00:35:05,698 --> 00:35:07,928
I am not diabetic.

710
00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:11,527
Grocery stores giving away medical
degrees with the free turkeys now?

711
00:35:11,604 --> 00:35:12,593
The sooner you drink this,

712
00:35:12,671 --> 00:35:14,662
the sooner I get to go waste
my time with something else.

713
00:35:14,740 --> 00:35:16,298
Get the hell off of me!

714
00:35:16,375 --> 00:35:19,276
No dessert till you've
finished your dinner!

715
00:35:20,579 --> 00:35:22,206
George, just drink it!

716
00:35:22,281 --> 00:35:23,441
Nurse!

717
00:35:23,616 --> 00:35:26,210
Get this jackass off of me!

718
00:35:26,285 --> 00:35:27,775
What the hell is going on?

719
00:35:27,853 --> 00:35:29,184
Just trying to force
a horse to...

720
00:35:31,423 --> 00:35:32,890
Let go!

721
00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:55,879
What's going on?

722
00:35:55,948 --> 00:35:59,884
Get X-rays of his hands. Then
bronc him, do a sputum cytology

723
00:35:59,952 --> 00:36:02,250
and check his CSF
for anti-hu antibodies.

724
00:36:02,321 --> 00:36:03,481
How are we gonna get him
to do all that,

725
00:36:03,556 --> 00:36:05,183
we can't even get him to
drink a bottle of sugar water?

726
00:36:05,257 --> 00:36:07,748
Tell him that lung cancer is
in no way connected to obesity.

727
00:36:07,827 --> 00:36:10,057
You don't think
he'll realize we're lying?

728
00:36:10,129 --> 00:36:12,597
You're not. Lung cancer's got
nothing to do with obesity.

729
00:36:12,665 --> 00:36:14,326
I meant about him
having lung cancer.

730
00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:16,595
You didn't notice
his fingers?

731
00:36:16,669 --> 00:36:17,931
I noticed they were fat.

732
00:36:18,003 --> 00:36:19,334
You should have
pissed him off,

733
00:36:19,405 --> 00:36:20,463
he would have grabbed you.

734
00:36:20,539 --> 00:36:21,699
Then you would have
felt the bones,

735
00:36:21,774 --> 00:36:24,368
they're not just fat,
they're clubbed.

736
00:36:57,109 --> 00:36:58,440
George,

737
00:37:00,746 --> 00:37:02,077
it's me.

738
00:37:06,252 --> 00:37:08,220
Your tests were positive.

739
00:37:09,722 --> 00:37:12,350
You have a small cell
lung carcinoma.

740
00:37:12,458 --> 00:37:14,790
It caused a paraneoplastic
neurologic syndrome,

741
00:37:14,860 --> 00:37:17,761
which in turn caused
your blindness and coma.

742
00:37:17,997 --> 00:37:21,023
The cancer's metastasized
to your lymph nodes.

743
00:37:21,934 --> 00:37:23,401
It's inoperable,

744
00:37:23,469 --> 00:37:26,336
but there are radiation
treatments available.

745
00:37:28,941 --> 00:37:31,603
They might give you
a few more months.

746
00:37:35,648 --> 00:37:37,240
I never smoked.

747
00:37:51,096 --> 00:37:52,586
C'est la vie.

748
00:38:29,435 --> 00:38:30,993
You were right.

749
00:38:32,705 --> 00:38:33,729
So was he.

750
00:38:33,806 --> 00:38:35,433
He said, "C'est la vie. "

751
00:38:35,507 --> 00:38:36,804
He's a complicated man.

752
00:38:36,875 --> 00:38:38,467
What about you?

753
00:38:39,011 --> 00:38:40,740
What are you gonna do
about your problem?

754
00:38:40,813 --> 00:38:42,781
Nothing. Just got a call
from my lawyer.

755
00:38:42,848 --> 00:38:45,043
He gave the DA copies
of my prescriptions.

756
00:38:45,117 --> 00:38:46,812
Soon as they confirm
they're bona fides,

757
00:38:46,885 --> 00:38:49,752
they're gonna drop the possession,
DUl and resisting arrest.

758
00:38:49,822 --> 00:38:51,949
Soon as I pay
my $85 speeding ticket

759
00:38:52,024 --> 00:38:53,753
and the impound fine,
I get my bike back.

760
00:38:53,826 --> 00:38:55,020
I guess that's good.

761
00:38:55,094 --> 00:38:57,028
You guess?
No, it's good.

762
00:38:59,298 --> 00:39:01,892
You get to keep going
like you always have.

763
00:39:04,236 --> 00:39:06,534
All right, I give up.
Who was it?

764
00:39:06,605 --> 00:39:08,505
Who in your family
had the weight problem?

765
00:39:08,574 --> 00:39:09,973
You think I can only care
about a patient

766
00:39:10,042 --> 00:39:12,067
if I know someone else who's
been through the same thing?

767
00:39:12,144 --> 00:39:13,475
You care for everybody.

768
00:39:13,545 --> 00:39:15,809
You only lie and stand
up to Cuddy for a few.

769
00:39:15,881 --> 00:39:18,111
You lie for everybody
and only care about a few.

770
00:39:18,183 --> 00:39:19,844
You're avoiding the question.

771
00:39:19,918 --> 00:39:22,182
I like damaged people,
remember?

772
00:39:22,521 --> 00:39:24,512
It explains everything I do.

773
00:39:24,590 --> 00:39:25,852
Almost everything.

774
00:39:28,394 --> 00:39:30,191
It wasn't you, was it?

775
00:39:31,063 --> 00:39:32,087
Does it matter?

776
00:39:32,164 --> 00:39:33,426
Nope, but it'd be interesting.

777
00:39:33,499 --> 00:39:34,659
Sorry to disappoint you,

778
00:39:34,733 --> 00:39:37,930
but sometimes the answers
just aren't that simple.

779
00:39:43,075 --> 00:39:44,940
I know he can be a real ass,

780
00:39:45,010 --> 00:39:47,308
and he has no problem lying
when it serves him,

781
00:39:47,379 --> 00:39:48,971
but he's not lying
about the pain.

782
00:39:49,048 --> 00:39:52,279
He needs the medication,
which is why I prescribed it.

783
00:39:52,351 --> 00:39:53,375
All of it.

784
00:39:53,452 --> 00:39:56,683
Well, I see a lot of cases

785
00:39:58,090 --> 00:40:01,890
where people who have real
injuries end up getting addicted.

786
00:40:03,395 --> 00:40:08,332
And then, well, things kind of
spiral out of control.

787
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:11,626
And lives get ruined,
and not just their own.

788
00:40:15,107 --> 00:40:17,575
I don't know what else
to tell you.

789
00:40:28,654 --> 00:40:29,814
What about these?

790
00:40:29,888 --> 00:40:31,549
This is getting...

791
00:40:31,723 --> 00:40:34,021
If it's got my name on it,
it's a legit scrip.

792
00:40:34,093 --> 00:40:35,583
You sure?
Yeah.

793
00:40:36,128 --> 00:40:38,460
Because the signatures
on these

794
00:40:38,530 --> 00:40:41,897
look a little different
than the signatures on those.

795
00:40:50,509 --> 00:40:51,567
You look surprised.

796
00:40:51,643 --> 00:40:53,201
No, I'm just...

797
00:40:54,379 --> 00:40:58,440
I hadn't thought about it. I do
sign my name differently sometimes.

798
00:41:03,822 --> 00:41:05,619
Are you sure?
Yeah.

799
00:41:05,691 --> 00:41:07,955
I just, I guess get bored
signing it the same way.

800
00:41:08,026 --> 00:41:10,961
You know what they say
about doctors' handwriting.

801
00:41:11,196 --> 00:41:14,757
I'm gonna give you a moment

802
00:41:15,901 --> 00:41:19,029
to reconsider that answer.

803
00:41:19,204 --> 00:41:23,732
Because if you are,
for some reason, mistaken,

804
00:41:26,245 --> 00:41:30,011
we will find out, and that
will not be good for you.

805
00:41:31,350 --> 00:41:32,874
Or Dr. House.

806
00:41:34,953 --> 00:41:36,978
I am sure. Absolutely.

807
00:41:40,626 --> 00:41:41,957
All right.

808
00:41:44,663 --> 00:41:46,597
I guess that's it, then.

809
00:41:57,176 --> 00:41:58,165
Thank you for your help.

810
00:41:58,243 --> 00:41:59,870
Okay, no problem.

811
00:42:14,104 --> 00:42:24,104
K!r! lleXXI
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