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The trick to onions...
cut them in half lengthwise,
but leave the roots on.
Then make your vertical slices.
Need a dozen. Think you can handle this?
A dozen is 12, right?
Next, we add mustard greens...
spicy, and they pack a nice punch.
Plus, they're really good for you.
Improve mental function,
protect against rheumatoid arthritis.
Even inhibit certain types of cancer.
Are you going to chop those onions
or give them a thai massage?
Well, I guess a happy ending is out of the question.
I don't recall adding making snide remarks
to your list of duties.
Just taking initiative.
Secret ingredient: porcini mushrooms.
You want to reconstitute them in a bowl of water.
You also want to hire an assistant
who can stay focused for longer than 30 seconds.
Why don't I hear you chopping?
Just give me a second.
You're kidding me, right?
So sorry. Are you okay? You want to sit down?
My lips are blue. Cyanosis.
Pain in my back and chest.
Spontaneous pneumothorax.
What are you talking about? I'm a doctor.
You are? And I need a doctor.
You drool.
Shut up.
I know gas is expensive,
but I could've given you a ride.
Elevator's broken.
It was fine when I came up
from admitting.
Dana miller, the cancer researcher.
Spontaneous pneumothorax. Awfully thin file.
She just got admitted.
Lots of things can cause pneumothorax.
Why don't we let eight or ten other doctors
rule out the boring stuff?
We wanna take this case.
She's maybe five or ten years away
from curing retinoblastoma.
Which would make this case attractive to anyone
who has some vested interest in people curing the incurable.
She hasn't suffered from copd.
She doesn't smoke.
She hasn't been scuba diving.
O2 sats are low even after chest tube insertion.
Pneumothorax could be secondary to a bunch of things.
Cystic fibrosis, lung cancer.
Or, to be slightly more optimistic,
late-onset asthma triggered by an unknown allergen.
We have a case? Did you just get to work?
Am I in trouble?
Did you take the elevators up? Yes.
So, steroids for asthma?
Yeah.
Do a ct looking for hyperinflation to confirm.
I thought my hospital was high-tech.
I'd have to wait all day for a ct.
Dr. House gets a few perks.
He has his own scanner?
No, just very loose interpretations
of hospital procedure.
I appreciate the extra effort, but...
our gift to society.
We want to get you back to work as soon as possible.
Well, I'm not working.
At least not as a doctor.
I quit.
I left eight months ago.
You mean, like, a sabbatical?
I had a uterine myoma. Benign.
But it ruptured and I needed emergency surgery.
I was lying there on the table thinking,
"I can't die now. I haven't been happy yet."
Couldn't you just buy an overpriced german sports car,
or have an affair?
My sports car is doing what I want when I want.
Right now I'm learning how to run a kitchen
from one of the best chefs in new york.
You're washing pots and smashing garlic?
Smashing garlic makes me happy.
Before that it was eight years studying,
12 years in that lab.
It was always what I was supposed to do,
and never what I wanted to do.
Come here. Look at this.
Come here.
Adorable. Elevators keep crashing.
Is mercury in retrograde or what?
Elevators can be capricious.
Sometimes it just seems like they're out to get you.
She keeps playing with the blanket.
Why would she do that?
Why do you think the elevators
would be out to get me?
I don't know.
Maybe they wanted to take time off
to spend with their little dumbwaiter.
But they the had to leave it at home with an elevator sitter
because you drove the replacement elevator
to quitting
because you're incapable of listening to anybody but me.
That's just a theory.
You're wrong. I don't even listen to you.
Either do your job or go home. Leave me out of it.
I am gonna do my job.
It doesn't mean I have to do it happily.
Doesn't mean I have to do it without resentment.
And it definitely doesn't mean I have to do it
without seeking vengeance on the person making me be here.
Congratulations.
You've officially dragged me down to your level.
Okay.
Hey, blue.
It's not asthma.
Lung volume is normal.
She did have a uterine myoma removed eight months ago.
Central line iv could have made a hole near the lung
that slowly expanded.
No pleural thickening.
I can't believe she quit.
People have the right to be happy.
I saw a four-year-old with retinoblastoma
on my oncology rotation.
The cancer had eaten through her eye and into her brain.
Horrible diseases exist.
It doesn't mean people should give up
recreational anything.
Why not? Big picture...
I don't care if jonas salk's life
is a miserable shell.
I just want him to cure polio.
You can't live your life "big picture."
You've gotta look out for yourself
and the people you care about.
Well, then, why are you a doctor?
Why aren't you sitting by a pool in fiji
knocking back mai tais?
People act in their own self-interests.
You're all here because you're happy to be here.
Or at least because it's your best option.
I'm here because I want to help people.
No, you're here because
it makes you feel good to help people.
Taub and foreman are here because
they've got no other viable choices.
And thirteen is desperate to make her life matter
before it's over.
So... you're happy to be here?
Does it show?
Are those... increased interstitial markings?
Could be pulmonary fibrosis.
Do a biopsy.
Foreman.
"You've got to look out for the people you care about."
That wouldn't have anything to do with you
screwing over your clinical trial
by slipping thirteen the real drug, would it?
You said that would be stupid.
Does she know?
Because jonas salk would not approve.
There's nothing to know.
Got it?
Good? Yep.
You okay?
Just a headache. I took some ibuprofen, but...
where's the pain: front or back?
Front.
Why are there never any interesting pictures
on these cards?
They should make a dirty version.
A sharp pain, or more of a throbbing...
relax, it's not a side effect. People get headaches.
True, but I can get you an mri.
If I'm on the drug, it's been weeks.
It's not like something's going to suddenly crop up now.
Okay.
First card.
Train, duck...
you can't remember?
Piano.
We need a biopsy to confirm...
you need an open-lung biopsy to confirm pulmonary fibrosis.
That's invasive surgery.
I'd be out of commission for weeks.
No offense, but you're not working.
What does it matter if you spend a little time in bed?
Not working doesn't mean I don't have places to go.
I've got my book group, piano lessons, cooking classes.
They make me happy.
A warm apple fritter makes me happy.
It doesn't fulfill me as a person.
And working here does?
If it didn't, I'd have found a way
to go back to tucking tummies.
Well, good for you.
If your job fulfills you and makes you happy, that's rare.
I didn't say I was happy.
I loved being a plastic surgeon.
The money, the lifestyle.
And in a lot of ways this job stinks.
I'm making five bucks, I'm always annoyed... but...
you can look yourself in the mirror and think,
"I did something worthwhile today."
Exactly.
Well, that's important. And I do miss that.
But it just wasn't enough anymore.
That doesn't feel right.
Sit up.
Ow! Oh, that's weird.
What is it? Ascites?
First her lung deflates, like me after a cold shower.
Now her liver starts to bleed, like me after...
you okay?
Great.
Just practicing my clown college audition.
Someone set a trip wire.
We were with the patient the whole time.
We were in the grc.
Lung, liver, go.
Shouldn't you be obsessing over who did this to you?
Nope... anybody bother
mriing our patient's liver for tumors?
Uh, no tumors, no cysts, no clear etiology.
If you're not obsessing,
you must have already figured it out.
Yes.
So I'm obsessing about why you're not obsessing
about why our patient's liver suddenly sprang a leak.
There's a tiny spot on the caudate lobe.
Could be a granuloma.
Erodes into the hepatic artery,
causes the bleed.
What caused the granuloma?
Blastomycosis.
Could have been asymptomatic for months.
It hits her lungs, we give her steroids.
It blossoms and attacks her liver.
Get a piece of her lung, stick it under a black light.
If it glows, sick children who need her souffles
can breathe easier.
Foreman.
Again?
You have a problem.
I told you, I didn't...
then you really have a problem.
They way she turned her head to look at the mri...
I think she's losing her peripheral vision.
Because she turned her head?
I'm happy for you.
A love so deep you're ready to chuck your medical license
to give her powerful, unproven drugs
with dangerous side effects.
I don't want to make any assumptions
about your feelings for me,
but I do have a birthday coming up.
I hear cuddy's seal training finally came in handy.
Should I be investing in a flak jacket?
You're safe.
No carpet bombing?
No burning of dresden to teach her a lesson?
Well, since you're incapable of taking the high road,
I assume there's some deeper,
more long-term strategy in effect.
Cuddy's not playing games.
She's not looking for leverage.
She wants pure, unadulterated vengeance.
And your counter-move is to let her have it?
The only time to strike back is when I want something.
All I want now is to get things back to normal.
Which I can't get by escalating.
The only way to win this war is to lose it.
Let her punch herself out.
Yeah, that makes sense too.
"Too"?
I was thinking you actually feel guilty
about taking her away from her baby.
But your explanation's good too.
It's completely inconsistent with your character, but...
thank you, rationalization man.
You have saved the village.
You wanna eat?
You forgot your file.
Dana miller?
The cancer researcher?
Not anymore.
Dr. Miller, I doubt if you'll remember me...
james wilson, right? Chicago.
The adenocarcinoma conference.
Impressive.
You want some cortisone for that itch?
Liver failure.
Itching is one of the lovely side effects.
Why did you quit?
The worst thing is is now every time I get sick,
I have to listen to a dozen people judge me.
Do you want me to congratulate you?
I've got four kids in ped-onc right now
who are gonna die.
Three of them within a year,
the other in a few days, probably.
Breakthroughs will happen.
With or without me, someone will find the answer.
Maybe.
I... I...
I'm in the trenches.
I'm... I'm doing triage as best I can.
You had the chance to end the war.
How is someone like me supposed to keep fighting
when someone like you just... walked away?
When I left my job,
a lot of people were furious with me.
It was easier to be angry than to admit they weren't happy.
That they were stuck in a rut somewhere in their lives,
unable to move forward.
What's your rut?
Okay, you're freaking me out.
Do you think we should have kids?
We've had this conversation. Ten years ago.
Things change.
On our third date I told you that I didn't want to have kids,
and you said that you were okay with that.
I said it because I wanted to sleep with you.
And then I fell in love with you.
And I realized that I really could be okay with it.
It wasn't like I had this burning desire to have children.
God, have you been resenting me all this time?
Is that why... no.
Of course not.
I'm just... revisiting.
This isn't a whim for me.
It's not a decision that I made lightly.
Don't you ever wonder what it would be like?
All the time.
Just not enough to make me want to do it.
I like our life.
Are you okay?
Could you turn the tv back on?
Look straight ahead.
Why didn't we do this test this morning?
You see that?
No. Damn.
I'm losing my peripheral vision?
I am on the drug.
Does this mean you have to tell them
and take me off it?
No, and yes.
As far as they're concerned, you're on the placebo.
I found out last week.
The trial was getting positive results...
so I switched you.
So my headaches...
I'll stop taking the drug, and everything should be fine.
Specimen's negative for blastomycosis.
That's it?
I'll go give house the test results.
You can tell the patient.
Hey.
We've been dating for two weeks.
You just broke trial protocol and risked your entire career
to give me a drug we're not even sure will help me.
I don't think I'm ready for that.
Dr. Miller?
Mm... I'm sorry.
The test was negative.
So I'm gonna take you off...
what happened to your head?
I don't know. I was sleeping.
It's so itchy.
You were scratching it in your sleep.
You scratched right through your skull.
This is brain matter.
Need some help in here!
I did a free flap closure to avoid any scarring.
She was lucky... the scratching didn't cause any brain damage.
But the first thing she said when we woke her up was
it still itches.
Itch receptors are only
in the top two layers of skin.
Which means she's not actually itchy,
she just thinks she is.
So the problem's in her brain?
Thank god we have you here to interpret that for us.
Sorry, I have a headache.
Could be psychogenic.
She made big, sudden change in her life.
Could be the result of a mental imbalance.
She wants to do what she wants to do.
What's crazy about that?
Why do you have to quit to do it?
If I want to do something, I do it.
If you can figure out a balance, there's no burnout.
Thanks for the lesson, deepak.
The itching started yesterday, not eight months ago.
Meningitis, encephalitis...
those are diffuse processes. This is localized.
Could be plaques.
Ms would explain, possibly the lungs.
So would a brain tumor.
Well, how 'bout we stop guessing
and mri her head instead?
You want to talk about your headaches?
Not particularly.
You went off the drug, but the headaches are worse.
You need an mri.
The patient needs an mri.
If she had gangrene, would you be amputating my leg?
Those pills have codeine in them?
You're taking twice the indicated amount.
I've only been off the drug for 24 hours,
so I think the bigger issue here
is that I've been off you for 24 hours.
You have worsening headaches, loss of peripheral vision,
and a long history of pretending bad things aren't happening.
You really think this is just about my hurt feelings?
I don't remember demoting you.
I brought you something.
The latest issue of parent magazine.
Really interesting column.
Apparently, working moms are actually more engaged
and attentive than stay-at-home moms.
Something about personal fulfillment.
That's just a rationalization by working moms to justify
not being with their kids.
Which is fine, if that's what they want.
It's not what I want.
And this is nurses quarterly.
The point is... you're only here to get back at me
by dumping dirty mop water on my carpet.
Just get it over with so I can get back to work.
I'm sorry.
I figured...
I don't know, one of us needed to go out on a limb.
I thought I could help you.
It's hard to have a conversation
when I'm trying not to move.
Oh, god.
Patient's mri was negative.
No tumors, no lesions.
Where's your cane?
Where are your coworkers?
I paged them.
It could still be psychogenic.
Technically, it can't still be that,
because it never could be that.
She scratched through her skull while she was sleeping.
Unless she was having a dream about fleas...
oh, hey! Funny you should drop by.
We were just talking about this patient of ours.
Tell him the part about where two of her doctors
don't show up... where are you going?
Polyneuropathy.
If it's not in the brain, it's in the nerves.
It explains the itching, the lungs, the liver.
Shock the affected area, reboot the nerve...
she'll be fine.
Foreman.
How bad is she?
She's got a tumor in her optic chiasm.
You don't need your coat to treat a tumor.
I'm going to the drug company.
To tell them that you compromised their trial,
your ethics, and the patient's health?
That's a great idea.
They have records on hundreds of patients.
I can ask them for access,
find out if other patients developed tumors
and how they were treated.
This drug inhibits cell death.
I think I could take a wild guess
at how I treat that.
Stop taking it?
Yeah.
She tried that yesterday.
Oh, my god, it's been a whole day,
and her brain tumor hasn't melted away?
If you get on that elevator,
and it's only 'cause you're worried
about getting to sleep tonight...
I want to be able to tell her
this happened to other people, and they're fine now.
So tell her.
I'm not gonna lie to her.
A little late for that.
You need to wait.
Because if this thing doesn't go away,
she's gonna need you to still have a medical license.
So I spoke with house.
He thinks we should just...
my leg is bleeding.
What happened?
I was going for the phone,
and I fell over the table.
I can't see.
What do you mean?
I can't see anything.
You gonna tip housekeeping?
Get it from cuddy.
Don't tell me...
she burned your apartment to the ground.
The warmth would have been nice.
No heat, no power.
Apparently mrs. House called the utilities
and told them we were moving.
You have 17 messages.
And your non-involvement strategy
doesn't seem to be working.
Hang up, he's here.
We've been paging you all night.
By all means, let's discuss
the failed attempts to contact me,
not the reason behind them.
Patient started experiencing spinal shocks
before the machine was turned on.
Lhermitte's sign.
Shocks without shock,
an itch that won't stop.
She needs dr. Seuss.
Lhermitte's sign could mean behcet's, b-12 deficiency.
No sores, no anemia.
Where's foreman? No idea.
Could be another demyelinating disease.
Why are you asking about foreman and not thirteen?
Because both questions are bound to have the same answer.
Ebony and ivory are joined near the hip.
Forget the brain. Look lower.
The spinal tumor wouldn't explain the liver or the lungs.
But an aggressive spinal hemangioma could.
Go find it.
You didn't answer the door.
Probably because I didn't want to talk to anyone.
You can leave your stolen key on your way out.
I was looking for foreman.
I figured...
you can't see.
Where is he?
On his way to the drug company.
Tell him to come back.
I'll dial.
If they can help.
You think that drug company
has a magic tumor wand that no one else knows about?
You need radiation,
not ritual sacrifice.
He asked for my advice
before he switched you off the placebo.
I told him to do it if he loved you.
He only thinks he loves me.
It's the same thing.
Yes, he's an idiot.
You didn't ask him to do anything.
You're pissed off that he did.
So let him torch his career
to pay for his sins.
Unless you actually feel something for the idiot.
In which case, you might want to tell him to turn around.
You're hurting him.
Good, after all the stunts he's pulled on me.
You're physically hurting him.
That's the point.
What's the point?
What do you think you're going to accomplish?
House shouldn't be allowed to make people miserable
without paying for it.
You're not miserable! You're telling me how I feel?
You're here because you like this.
You like working with him.
Wow, if only I'd known I was having fun,
I wouldn't have canceled the bouncy house.
Fire him, and go be home with your new baby.
I like what he does for this hospital.
What he does is who he is.
And the same goes for you.
Slow down.
Unless you want to radiate her heart instead of her brain.
Of course, then your problems would actually all go away.
Thanks.
I'm not beating myself up enough already over this.
Entering the left common carotid.
You broke the rules.
Girlfriend went blind.
You gotta be ready for losing
to be one of the possibilities.
You're at the carotid bifurcation.
I knew that giving her the drug
would be bad for me if I got caught.
I never thought it would be bad for her.
Nobody else was having adverse reactions.
You did it because you love her.
Ironically, you never took her into consideration.
Can't wait to see what you get her for your anniversary.
Catheter's adjacent to the optic chiasm.
We're in position.
Nukey, nukey.
What's going on with everyone today?
It involves house, foreman, and thirteen,
which means it's either dumb, dangerous, or tragic,
or a combination.
I'm embracing my ignorance.
House was right about the hemangioma.
Looks fixable.
What's that?
Hemangiomas travel solo.
This thing has brought a friend.
Masses in her lungs and spine.
One in her pericardium.
They're everywhere.
Classic mesothelioma.
It metastasized outward to the spine and muscles.
Ah, the irony of it.
Maybe she wouldn't be sick at all
if some other lazy cancer researcher
hadn't gone home early.
Where are foreman and thirteen?
Shouldn't you be saying,
"those weren't there when we scanned her two days ago"?
Mesothelioma shouldn't grow this fast.
Good rephrasing.
Have wilson do a biopsy to confirm.
No.
Something weird is going on.
It involves our colleagues... we should know.
You want us to treat the patient,
tell us what's going on.
Actually, all he needs us to do
is tell wilson to do something.
So...
you always blab to watch people react.
So not blabbing means you don't want us to react,
which can't be good.
Is thirteen's headache not just a headache?
If I check with admitting, am I gonna find her name?
A little pinch.
I'm sorry about the other day.
I... unloaded on you.
And... you're not sorry.
You feel bad because mesothelioma means I'm dying.
You're a good person. I appreciate the sentiment.
I'm not apologizing because you're dying.
I'm apologizing because you were right.
I am stuck.
My girlfriend died.
She was the only person I've loved for a long time, and...
I'm still living in her apartment.
I'm surrounded by her things.
I have left it all exactly where it was.
I don't know how to get unstuck.
The only wrong thing is... to do nothing.
Yeah.
All right.
That's not supposed to happen.
Have you thought about going to the drug company,
see if they can help?
I thought about it.
We need to give it more time.
It's been half a day.
This thing keeps growing,
there's other stuff in your brain
you might need later on.
If I were any other patient,
you'd both be in the lounge, eating donuts.
You're not any other patient.
Right.
Any other patient, you don't feel guilty.
But you don't get
to torch your career to pay for your sins.
House told her to say that, didn't he?
Does that make it any less true?
You think he's right?
Who cares?
You're a hypocrite.
You don't ask her if she wants to be on the drug,
but when there's a chance you could help her get better,
suddenly you're letting her call the shots?
That's not being noble.
That's saving your own ass.
I'd feel worse if he destroyed his career.
Mesothelioma doesn't bleed.
So what causes masses that do bleed?
Avm's secondary to schistosomiasis.
She'd be crawling with worms. We'd have noticed it.
Gorham's disease and kasabach-merritt
can both cause super-aggressive vascular tumors.
Patient's heart just stopped.
So what causes that?
Cardiac tamponade.
She's bleeding into her pericardium,
smothering her heart.
Syringe.
B.p.'s going back up.
It's working.
No, it's not... look.
We're transfusing platelets, ffp,
everything to try to keep her stable.
But we can barely keep up with the blood loss.
At this rate, she could be dead by the end of the day.
We need to resect the vascular tumors,
stop the bleeding.
Too late... no surgeon's gonna touch her now.
Should we give up? Just let her bleed out?
Don't be silly.
You know what that would do
to our malpractice insurance rates?
We go on the offensive.
Cut off the invading army's supply line.
You're talking about embolization?
Cut off the arteries that feed blood to the tumors,
they wither and die.
Start with the ones in her lungs.
If they get any bigger,
she's gonna have a hard time breathing.
So she'll have a hard time telling us she's dead.
You can't kill the tumors
without also killing healthy tissue.
If we wipe out 3/4 of her lungs...
let's hope that running marathons
wasn't on her happy list.
I found this.
Ahem.
In the, uh, coat closet.
Where I hid it.
Thought I'd never see you again.
Little, little greg.
Yeah, you heard me right!
Well, you are who you are.
It's annoying, but...
it's not your fault.
It isn't about you.
I...
I'm sorry.
Because you were doing this job perfectly
until the baby came along.
What?
I'm apologizing. Can't you just accept my...
I accept.
We gonna have to do this dance again in 28 days?
What the hell is wrong with you?
Yesterday, you hate me.
Today, you're practically weeping on my shoulder.
I can only assume that what I'm hearing
is your aunt flow telling me...
when I was being a jerk, you suddenly act human.
But when I act human, you turn back into a jerk.
Guess our cycles aren't matched up yet.
This is your way
of saying you accept my apology, isn't it?
Nope, this is my way of saying
you were doing a crappy job before;
you will a slightly crappier job now.
Everything keeps going. Nature of life.
Nature of parenthood.
Or this whole thing is just an act.
And you've gone back to the part you think you need to play.
You should go talk to wilson.
Rationalization man needs a faithful sidekick.
Now, rational man needs to go save a life.
House.
If you're looking for returnable bottles,
kutner's already cleaned it out.
Damn!
Oh, well.
That means the only thing
I'm gonna get out of this...
is a diagnosis.
So the nurses gave her pads instead of tampons.
Is that diagnostically relevant?
Fact that the nurses had to give her anything is.
Means she's bleeding from her uterus.
Women do that.
It's perfectly natural.
Not scary at all.
She menstruating
and she's bleeding everywhere.
There's about a 3 or 4 in 28 chance
it's a coincidence.
Which leaves a much bigger chance
that the diagnosis is ectopic endometriosis.
She had a myoma eight months ago.
Surgeons cut through her uterine wall.
Every cut of the scalpel could have sent endometrial cells
spilling out into her bloodstream.
Some of them took up residence in her lungs,
some in her liver, some in her spine.
And like all horny little cells,
they went forth and multiplied
till they reached a critical mass.
In the days leading up to her next period,
when her uterus is supposed to swell,
everything swelled.
And when her uterus was supposed to bleed,
everything bled.
Yes, ladies, I am blaming her period.
Granted, it's the worst period ever.
Although, frankly, not by all that much.
Cut out the masses, she'll be fine.
Can't do surgery
until her cycle's over
and she stops bleeding.
Well, let's hope she can hold out till then.
In the meantime, get her a pint of cookie dough ice cream
and a dvd of beaches.
I'm sorry.
Foreman?
I can see you.
How you feeling?
Relative to the last few days, awesome.
You almost died.
For the second time in eight months.
I know.
How do you feel about your life choices this time?
I didn't lie there thinking "what if?"
I always worry, on my deathbed I'll think,
"I didn't do anything really important."
You're gonna spend one day of your life
on your death bed.
The other 25,000
are the ones we should be worrying about.
Go to bed happy tonight.
Dr. Schmidt.
It's eric foreman.
Um... actually, the trial isn't going too well.
You told them, didn't you?
Well, you really had no choice...
on account of being an idiot.
They gonna pull the drug?
I broke protocol.
Her results are no longer admissible to the trial.
They don't have to do anything.
Anyone else gets a tumor,
they'll put a warning on the label.
Gonna keep your license?
They'll come after me
if I attempt to participate in any more trials.
That's very decent of them.
Well, good for me.
I'll see you tomorrow.
And the next day.
That wasn't your locker, was it?
It's a lock-er room.
How else are they gonna learn?
Do you think you can't be happy without a kid?
I don't know.
I know I can't be happy without you.
You snore.
Shut up.