1
00:00:13,842 --> 00:00:17,217
So there was this one night

2
00:00:13,842 --> 00:00:17,217
before I met your mother,

3
00:00:17,217 --> 00:00:19,383
when I really wanted

4
00:00:17,217 --> 00:00:19,383
to go to the bar.

5
00:00:19,383 --> 00:00:21,883
The bar...

6
00:00:19,383 --> 00:00:21,883
big surprise.

7
00:00:21,883 --> 00:00:23,633
You sure spent

8
00:00:21,883 --> 00:00:23,633
a lot of time in bars.

9
00:00:23,633 --> 00:00:25,592
Well, that's just

10
00:00:23,633 --> 00:00:25,592
we did back then.

11
00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:27,925
Me, Marshall and Lily,

12
00:00:27,925 --> 00:00:30,633
Barney, Robin...

13
00:00:30,633 --> 00:00:32,633
we all used to hang out

14
00:00:30,633 --> 00:00:32,633
at this one bar

15
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:33,925
called MacClaren's.

16
00:00:33,925 --> 00:00:35,508
But then, one night...

17
00:00:35,508 --> 00:00:36,842
Why don't we go

18
00:00:35,508 --> 00:00:36,842
to MacClaren's?

19
00:00:36,842 --> 00:00:38,217
Let's go to MacClaren's.

20
00:00:38,217 --> 00:00:40,175
You guys talking

21
00:00:38,217 --> 00:00:40,175
to each other?

22
00:00:40,175 --> 00:00:42,425
Nobody's listening?

23
00:00:42,425 --> 00:00:43,467
What's wrong

24
00:00:42,425 --> 00:00:43,467
with MacClaren's?

25
00:00:43,467 --> 00:00:45,550
MacClaren's is bore-snore.

26
00:00:45,550 --> 00:00:47,508
Ted, tonight

27
00:00:45,550 --> 00:00:47,508
we're going to go out.

28
00:00:47,508 --> 00:00:48,925
We're going to meet

29
00:00:47,508 --> 00:00:48,925
some ladies.

30
00:00:48,925 --> 00:00:50,883
It's going to be legendary.

31
00:00:50,883 --> 00:00:52,633
Phone five.

32
00:00:52,633 --> 00:00:55,925
I had no idea

33
00:00:52,633 --> 00:00:55,925
why I hung out with Barney.

34
00:00:57,008 --> 00:00:58,925
You didn't phone five, did you?

35
00:00:58,925 --> 00:01:01,467
I know when you don't

36
00:00:58,925 --> 00:01:01,467
phone five, Ted.

37
00:01:01,467 --> 00:01:04,342
Come on. We always

38
00:01:01,467 --> 00:01:04,342
to go to MacClaren's.

39
00:01:04,342 --> 00:01:06,508
Yeah, 'cause MacClaren's is fun.

40
00:01:06,508 --> 00:01:09,217
MacClaren's is this much fun.

41
00:01:09,217 --> 00:01:13,008
What I'm offering is the chance

42
00:01:09,217 --> 00:01:13,008
to have... this much fun.

43
00:01:13,008 --> 00:01:14,467
See, you say that.

44
00:01:14,467 --> 00:01:16,258
You say it's going to be

45
00:01:14,467 --> 00:01:16,258
this much fun,

46
00:01:16,258 --> 00:01:18,800
but most of the time it ends up

47
00:01:16,258 --> 00:01:18,800
being this much fun.

48
00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:20,467
This much fun is good.

49
00:01:20,467 --> 00:01:22,008
It's safe. It's guaranteed.

50
00:01:22,008 --> 00:01:23,300
This hand gesture thing

51
00:01:22,008 --> 00:01:23,300
doesn't really work

52
00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:24,300
on the phone, does it?

53
00:01:24,300 --> 00:01:25,300
No, it doesn't.

54
00:01:26,300 --> 00:01:27,508
Get in the cab.

55
00:01:27,508 --> 00:01:28,842
Marshall, you, too.

56
00:01:28,842 --> 00:01:30,050
Oh, I wish I could.

57
00:01:30,050 --> 00:01:31,092
I think Lily and I

58
00:01:30,050 --> 00:01:31,092
are just going to...

59
00:01:31,092 --> 00:01:32,508
I understand.

60
00:01:31,092 --> 00:01:32,508
Get in the cab.

61
00:01:32,508 --> 00:01:33,717
Why can Marshall say no?

62
00:01:33,717 --> 00:01:35,967
Uh, because

63
00:01:33,717 --> 00:01:35,967
he's getting laid.

64
00:01:35,967 --> 00:01:37,383
Consistently.

65
00:01:38,383 --> 00:01:40,133
Ted, Ted, Ted...

66
00:01:38,383 --> 00:01:40,133
right here.

67
00:01:40,133 --> 00:01:42,508
You keep going

68
00:01:40,133 --> 00:01:42,508
to the same bar.

69
00:01:42,508 --> 00:01:43,758
You're in a rut.

70
00:01:43,758 --> 00:01:45,258
And I am a rut-buster.

71
00:01:45,258 --> 00:01:47,217
I'm going to bust your rut.

72
00:01:47,217 --> 00:01:48,675
It's not a rut, okay?

73
00:01:48,675 --> 00:01:50,342
It's a routine,

74
00:01:48,675 --> 00:01:50,342
and I like it.

75
00:01:50,342 --> 00:01:54,675
Ted, what's the first syllable

76
00:01:50,342 --> 00:01:54,675
in "rut-tine"?

77
00:02:02,217 --> 00:02:03,467
Peace out, suckers.

78
00:02:06,133 --> 00:02:08,383
All right, so what's

79
00:02:06,133 --> 00:02:08,383
this legendary plan?

80
00:02:08,383 --> 00:02:10,467
First we've got to pick

81
00:02:08,383 --> 00:02:10,467
someone up at the airport.

82
00:02:10,467 --> 00:02:11,925
Okay, I'm out of here.

83
00:02:10,467 --> 00:02:11,925
Estaban, doors.

84
00:02:16,258 --> 00:02:18,717
Okay, we just do

85
00:02:16,258 --> 00:02:18,717
this one little thing,

86
00:02:18,717 --> 00:02:20,758
and the rest

87
00:02:18,717 --> 00:02:20,758
of the night is ours.

88
00:02:20,758 --> 00:02:22,092
Why do you have

89
00:02:20,758 --> 00:02:22,092
those suitcases,

90
00:02:22,092 --> 00:02:23,467
and who are we

91
00:02:22,092 --> 00:02:23,467
picking up?

92
00:02:23,467 --> 00:02:24,675
I don't know.

93
00:02:23,467 --> 00:02:24,675
Maybe her.

94
00:02:24,675 --> 00:02:25,675
Or her.

95
00:02:26,883 --> 00:02:29,258
Wait. So when you said

96
00:02:26,883 --> 00:02:29,258
you were going

97
00:02:29,258 --> 00:02:30,675
to pick someone up

98
00:02:29,258 --> 00:02:30,675
at the airport,

99
00:02:30,675 --> 00:02:33,092
you meant you were going

100
00:02:30,675 --> 00:02:33,092
to "pick someone up"

101
00:02:33,092 --> 00:02:34,175
at the airport?

102
00:02:36,342 --> 00:02:37,925
couple of girls

103
00:02:36,342 --> 00:02:37,925
fly into town

104
00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:39,633
looking for a fun

105
00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:39,633
weekend in NYC,

106
00:02:39,633 --> 00:02:40,925
when the meet

107
00:02:40,925 --> 00:02:42,925
two handsome

108
00:02:40,925 --> 00:02:42,925
international

109
00:02:40,925 --> 00:02:42,925
businessmen

110
00:02:42,925 --> 00:02:45,633
just back from

111
00:02:42,925 --> 00:02:45,633
a lucrative trip

112
00:02:42,925 --> 00:02:45,633
to Japan.

113
00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:46,633
Sample dialogue:

114
00:02:46,633 --> 00:02:48,925
"You have a wheelie bag?

115
00:02:48,925 --> 00:02:50,342
Well, I have

116
00:02:48,925 --> 00:02:50,342
a wheelie bag."

117
00:02:50,342 --> 00:02:51,800
You've got to be kidding me.

118
00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:52,842
False.

119
00:02:52,842 --> 00:02:54,217
Sidebar... tuck in your shirt.

120
00:02:54,217 --> 00:02:55,550
You look sketchy.

121
00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:56,842
I'm sketchy?

122
00:02:56,842 --> 00:02:59,050
Trust me. It's going

123
00:02:56,842 --> 00:02:59,050
to be legendary.

124
00:02:59,050 --> 00:03:00,925
Don't say "legendary," okay?

125
00:03:00,925 --> 00:03:03,425
You're too liberal

126
00:03:00,925 --> 00:03:03,425
with the word "legendary."

127
00:03:03,425 --> 00:03:05,092
We're building an igloo

128
00:03:03,425 --> 00:03:05,092
in Central Park.

129
00:03:05,092 --> 00:03:06,925
It's going to be legendary.

130
00:03:06,925 --> 00:03:08,133
Snowsuit up!

131
00:03:09,758 --> 00:03:12,133
Ted, Ted, Ted...

132
00:03:09,758 --> 00:03:12,133
right here.

133
00:03:12,133 --> 00:03:13,675
This is happening.

134
00:03:13,675 --> 00:03:15,800
Now you can either put the

135
00:03:13,675 --> 00:03:15,800
bags on the carousel now,

136
00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:16,800
or you can listen

137
00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:16,800
to me give you

138
00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:18,217
a really long speech

139
00:03:18,217 --> 00:03:19,675
convincing you to put

140
00:03:18,217 --> 00:03:19,675
the bags on the carousel.

141
00:03:19,675 --> 00:03:20,675
Your move.

142
00:03:22,425 --> 00:03:24,675
Ted, since

143
00:03:22,425 --> 00:03:24,675
the dawn of time...

144
00:03:24,675 --> 00:03:26,050
mankind has

145
00:03:24,675 --> 00:03:26,050
struggled...

146
00:03:27,633 --> 00:03:30,508
That night, Marshall had

147
00:03:27,633 --> 00:03:30,508
a ton of studying to do,

148
00:03:30,508 --> 00:03:32,258
so Lily went out

149
00:03:30,508 --> 00:03:32,258
with Robin...

150
00:03:32,258 --> 00:03:34,842
who was new to New York

151
00:03:32,258 --> 00:03:34,842
and looking for a friend.

152
00:03:34,842 --> 00:03:38,467
I'm so glad we finally get

153
00:03:34,842 --> 00:03:38,467
to hang out, just the two of us.

154
00:03:34,842 --> 00:03:38,467
Yeah.

155
00:03:38,467 --> 00:03:40,883
You sure you're okay giving up

156
00:03:38,467 --> 00:03:40,883
your Friday night

157
00:03:40,883 --> 00:03:42,883
to hang with an old,

158
00:03:40,883 --> 00:03:42,883
almost married lady?

159
00:03:42,883 --> 00:03:44,133
Oh, please.

160
00:03:44,133 --> 00:03:45,758
I'm so sick of the

161
00:03:44,133 --> 00:03:45,758
meat market scene.

162
00:03:45,758 --> 00:03:47,300
Guys are like the subway.

163
00:03:47,300 --> 00:03:49,300
You miss one, another one

164
00:03:47,300 --> 00:03:49,300
comes along in five minutes.

165
00:03:49,300 --> 00:03:50,842
Unless it's the end

166
00:03:49,300 --> 00:03:50,842
of the night,

167
00:03:50,842 --> 00:03:52,508
and then you get on anything.

168
00:03:52,508 --> 00:03:53,508
Hey-oh!

169
00:03:53,508 --> 00:03:56,717
Compliments of that guy.

170
00:03:58,800 --> 00:03:59,842
Really?

171
00:03:59,842 --> 00:04:01,800
Sweet.

172
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:04,008
Oh, for you it's $6.

173
00:04:04,008 --> 00:04:06,883
Oh, yes, that's one drawback

174
00:04:04,008 --> 00:04:06,883
to being engaged.

175
00:04:06,883 --> 00:04:08,592
I'm sure that's why

176
00:04:06,883 --> 00:04:08,592
he didn't...

177
00:04:08,592 --> 00:04:09,592
Hey.

178
00:04:09,592 --> 00:04:11,342
Oh, hello.

179
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:18,883
So, uh... did you just

180
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:18,883
get in from Detroit?

181
00:04:21,842 --> 00:04:23,758
Japan.

182
00:04:27,550 --> 00:04:29,133
Okay, carousel 4

183
00:04:27,550 --> 00:04:29,133
is tapped out.

184
00:04:29,133 --> 00:04:32,092
Ready? Because I'm about

185
00:04:29,133 --> 00:04:32,092
to drop some knowledge.

186
00:04:32,092 --> 00:04:35,592
Cute girls are not

187
00:04:32,092 --> 00:04:35,592
from Buffalo.

188
00:04:35,592 --> 00:04:38,133
Time-out, 10:00.

189
00:04:38,133 --> 00:04:39,258
You ready to rock this, Tedder?

190
00:04:39,258 --> 00:04:40,717
All right,

191
00:04:39,258 --> 00:04:40,717
I think we need

192
00:04:40,717 --> 00:04:42,550
to refine our

193
00:04:40,717 --> 00:04:42,550
back story first.

194
00:04:40,717 --> 00:04:42,550
How did we...?

195
00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:45,092
Ted, you klutzy

196
00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:45,092
great guy, you!

197
00:04:47,383 --> 00:04:49,300
Hey, I'm Barney.

198
00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:50,800
Hi.

199
00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:50,800
My God, are you okay?

200
00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:52,467
I am so sorry.

201
00:04:52,467 --> 00:04:54,425
It's fine. No, you were

202
00:04:52,467 --> 00:04:54,425
a little shaky on your landing.

203
00:04:54,425 --> 00:04:55,800
I give you a 9.2.

204
00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:56,925
Ooh.

205
00:04:56,925 --> 00:04:58,050
Hi. I'm Ted.

206
00:04:58,050 --> 00:04:59,383
Laura.

207
00:04:58,050 --> 00:04:59,383
Look, I'm really sorry

208
00:04:59,383 --> 00:05:00,592
that we have to hit and run,

209
00:05:00,592 --> 00:05:02,092
but we've got

210
00:05:00,592 --> 00:05:02,092
a plane to catch.

211
00:05:02,092 --> 00:05:03,592
Where you headed?

212
00:05:02,092 --> 00:05:03,592
Philadelphia.

213
00:05:03,592 --> 00:05:05,883
Philly? That's where

214
00:05:03,592 --> 00:05:05,883
we're headed.

215
00:05:05,883 --> 00:05:08,092
You are?

216
00:05:08,092 --> 00:05:09,758
Well, then we'll

217
00:05:08,092 --> 00:05:09,758
see you on the plane.

218
00:05:09,758 --> 00:05:10,842
Yes, you will.

219
00:05:13,008 --> 00:05:14,467
Follow them.

220
00:05:13,008 --> 00:05:14,467
Ticket's on me.

221
00:05:14,467 --> 00:05:15,925
No. Barney!

222
00:05:15,925 --> 00:05:18,967
Don't you get on that escalator!

223
00:05:18,967 --> 00:05:22,383
And don't you dare get

224
00:05:18,967 --> 00:05:22,383
on that subsequent escalator!

225
00:05:26,633 --> 00:05:31,008
Studying law.

226
00:05:51,467 --> 00:05:52,758
Are you all right?

227
00:05:52,758 --> 00:05:54,133
Yeah.

228
00:05:54,133 --> 00:05:55,425
Hey, guess

229
00:05:54,133 --> 00:05:55,425
where I am.

230
00:05:55,425 --> 00:05:56,925
I'm on a... ready?

231
00:05:55,425 --> 00:05:56,925
plane to... ready?

232
00:05:56,925 --> 00:05:58,008
Philadelphia.

233
00:05:58,008 --> 00:06:00,050
That is awesome.

234
00:06:00,050 --> 00:06:01,342
Hey, is that Marshall?

235
00:06:01,342 --> 00:06:02,800
Marshall, stop

236
00:06:01,342 --> 00:06:02,800
whatever you're doing,

237
00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:04,175
get in that hoopty-ass

238
00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:04,175
Fiero of yours

239
00:06:04,175 --> 00:06:05,508
and come meet us

240
00:06:04,175 --> 00:06:05,508
in Philly.

241
00:06:05,508 --> 00:06:06,508
It's going to be legendary.

242
00:06:06,508 --> 00:06:08,467
Man, I wish I could, guys...

243
00:06:08,467 --> 00:06:09,842
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

244
00:06:09,842 --> 00:06:11,092
I sent you some pictures

245
00:06:09,842 --> 00:06:11,092
on my phone. Check it.

246
00:06:17,175 --> 00:06:18,967
Philly.

247
00:06:18,967 --> 00:06:20,967
Admit it:

248
00:06:18,967 --> 00:06:20,967
you're having fun.

249
00:06:20,967 --> 00:06:22,758
This much fu...

250
00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:25,258
35,000 feet of fun.

251
00:06:25,258 --> 00:06:26,800
Well, I didn't think

252
00:06:25,258 --> 00:06:26,800
I'd be flying

253
00:06:25,258 --> 00:06:26,800
to Philadelphia

254
00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:28,133
when I woke up this morning,

255
00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:28,133
I'll give you that.

256
00:06:28,133 --> 00:06:29,300
Attaboy.

257
00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:31,217
Let's go talk

258
00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:31,217
to those girls.

259
00:06:31,217 --> 00:06:33,467
Whoa, whoa, the

260
00:06:31,217 --> 00:06:33,467
seat belt sign's on.

261
00:06:33,467 --> 00:06:36,842
Ted, you've been living

262
00:06:33,467 --> 00:06:36,842
your whole life in a seat belt.

263
00:06:36,842 --> 00:06:38,800
It's time to unclick.

264
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:43,633
Sir, the seat belt

265
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:43,633
light's on.

266
00:06:43,633 --> 00:06:45,258
Yeah. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

267
00:06:47,592 --> 00:06:49,092
Well, I grew up

268
00:06:47,592 --> 00:06:49,092
in Park Slope.

269
00:06:49,092 --> 00:06:50,175
Oh, I love Park Slope.

270
00:06:50,175 --> 00:06:51,467
When did you move

271
00:06:50,175 --> 00:06:51,467
to Manhattan?

272
00:06:51,467 --> 00:06:52,925
You're from Park Slope?

273
00:06:52,925 --> 00:06:53,925
Uh, no, she is.

274
00:06:53,925 --> 00:06:55,842
So where are you from?

275
00:06:55,842 --> 00:06:57,592
Heaven?

276
00:06:57,592 --> 00:06:59,508
Yeah, I'm a ghost.

277
00:06:59,508 --> 00:07:02,217
I died 15 years ago,

278
00:06:59,508 --> 00:07:02,217
like that pickup line.

279
00:07:02,217 --> 00:07:03,217
Hey-oh!

280
00:07:04,217 --> 00:07:05,883
God, I'm so sorry.

281
00:07:05,883 --> 00:07:07,550
Oh, believe me,

282
00:07:05,883 --> 00:07:07,550
I've been there.

283
00:07:07,550 --> 00:07:09,258
I have this line

284
00:07:07,550 --> 00:07:09,258
that I use

285
00:07:07,550 --> 00:07:09,258
when guys come...

286
00:07:09,258 --> 00:07:10,258
Check it out.

287
00:07:10,258 --> 00:07:12,508
Hey...

288
00:07:12,508 --> 00:07:14,883
You take this one.

289
00:07:14,883 --> 00:07:17,842
I'll save it

290
00:07:14,883 --> 00:07:17,842
for the next one.

291
00:07:19,508 --> 00:07:20,842
So what brings

292
00:07:19,508 --> 00:07:20,842
you guys to Philly?

293
00:07:20,842 --> 00:07:22,217
We're visiting

294
00:07:20,842 --> 00:07:22,217
our boyfriends.

295
00:07:22,217 --> 00:07:24,925
I think hers is going

296
00:07:22,217 --> 00:07:24,925
to propose this weekend.

297
00:07:24,925 --> 00:07:26,508
Isn't that great?

298
00:07:28,133 --> 00:07:29,675
So great.

299
00:07:35,050 --> 00:07:36,467
So there we were:

300
00:07:36,467 --> 00:07:38,467
stuck on an airplane

301
00:07:36,467 --> 00:07:38,467
to Philadelphia

302
00:07:38,467 --> 00:07:40,383
with two very un-single girls,

303
00:07:40,383 --> 00:07:42,300
all thanks

304
00:07:40,383 --> 00:07:42,300
to your Uncle Barney.

305
00:07:42,300 --> 00:07:45,508
Aren't they cute?

306
00:07:42,300 --> 00:07:45,508
They're both linebackers

307
00:07:42,300 --> 00:07:45,508
for the Eagles.

308
00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:47,342
Both?

309
00:07:47,342 --> 00:07:49,342
Both of their boyfriends

310
00:07:49,342 --> 00:07:50,967
are linebackers.

311
00:07:52,925 --> 00:07:54,800
You're going to Philly?

312
00:07:52,925 --> 00:07:54,800
Why?

313
00:07:56,300 --> 00:07:58,175
I didn't ask.

314
00:07:58,175 --> 00:08:01,883
Well, it's sounds like you're

315
00:07:58,175 --> 00:08:01,883
having a lot more fun than I am.

316
00:08:01,883 --> 00:08:03,967
I'm just talking

317
00:08:01,883 --> 00:08:03,967
to guys' backs

318
00:08:03,967 --> 00:08:05,133
while they hit on Robin.

319
00:08:05,133 --> 00:08:07,342
Yeah, I bet she gets that a lot.

320
00:08:07,342 --> 00:08:09,383
Don't you bet

321
00:08:07,342 --> 00:08:09,383
I get that a lot?

322
00:08:09,383 --> 00:08:11,342
Not with a ring

323
00:08:09,383 --> 00:08:11,342
on your finger.

324
00:08:11,342 --> 00:08:12,800
I mean, you know,

325
00:08:11,342 --> 00:08:12,800
guys see the ring,

326
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,383
it's like ka-chong,

327
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,383
Marshall parking only.

328
00:08:15,383 --> 00:08:16,800
Oh, of course.

329
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:18,092
That's it. The ring.

330
00:08:18,092 --> 00:08:19,925
I guess I'm not used to it yet.

331
00:08:19,925 --> 00:08:21,300
Oh, it's totally the ring.

332
00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:22,883
If you took that ring

333
00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:22,883
off your finger,

334
00:08:22,883 --> 00:08:25,300
you'd have a ton of guys

335
00:08:22,883 --> 00:08:25,300
crowding your junk.

336
00:08:25,300 --> 00:08:26,800
I'm not gonna take off my ring.

337
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:28,258
Wouldn't you be jealous

338
00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:30,800
of guys swarming

339
00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:30,800
all over my beeswax?

340
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:32,925
Oh, yeah, you know me...

341
00:08:32,925 --> 00:08:34,550
I'm the jealous type.

342
00:08:34,550 --> 00:08:36,300
Any goon so much as looks

343
00:08:34,550 --> 00:08:36,300
at you,

344
00:08:36,300 --> 00:08:37,842
I'll sock him in the kisser.

345
00:08:37,842 --> 00:08:39,383
No. Seriously, you girls have

346
00:08:37,842 --> 00:08:39,383
a good time tonight.

347
00:08:39,383 --> 00:08:41,508
Bye.

348
00:08:47,842 --> 00:08:48,925
Robin!

349
00:08:48,925 --> 00:08:51,133
Robin!

350
00:08:51,133 --> 00:08:53,383
Hey, I'm over here.

351
00:08:57,050 --> 00:08:58,633
Marshall, don't

352
00:08:57,050 --> 00:08:58,633
come to Philly.

353
00:08:58,633 --> 00:09:00,967
But we're on an adventure.

354
00:09:00,967 --> 00:09:02,800
We're on a tarmac

355
00:09:00,967 --> 00:09:02,800
in Philadelphia.

356
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:04,800
Crazy...

357
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:04,800
adventure.

358
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:06,842
Fine.

359
00:09:07,967 --> 00:09:10,050
No! No!

360
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,383
The night has just started.

361
00:09:11,383 --> 00:09:12,467
Look, airport bar.

362
00:09:12,467 --> 00:09:14,175
Flight attendants.

363
00:09:14,175 --> 00:09:16,425
They'll get your tray table

364
00:09:14,175 --> 00:09:16,425
in its full upright position.

365
00:09:16,425 --> 00:09:18,133
Say what?

366
00:09:18,133 --> 00:09:21,592
Passengers Mosby and Stinson,

367
00:09:18,133 --> 00:09:21,592
please come with us, gentlemen.

368
00:09:21,592 --> 00:09:23,342
Keep your hands

369
00:09:21,592 --> 00:09:23,342
where I can see them.

370
00:09:23,342 --> 00:09:25,633
Barney, I am going

371
00:09:23,342 --> 00:09:25,633
to kill you.

372
00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:27,133
Don't say

373
00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:27,133
you're gonna kill someone

374
00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:29,092
in front of airport security.

375
00:09:29,092 --> 00:09:31,092
Not cool, not cool.

376
00:09:32,758 --> 00:09:34,800
This is an outrage!

377
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:36,925
We are international

378
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:36,925
businessmen

379
00:09:36,925 --> 00:09:39,842
on very important

380
00:09:36,925 --> 00:09:39,842
international

381
00:09:36,925 --> 00:09:39,842
business trip.

382
00:09:39,842 --> 00:09:42,133
I demand you release

383
00:09:39,842 --> 00:09:42,133
us immediately!

384
00:09:42,133 --> 00:09:43,883
You demand?

385
00:09:42,133 --> 00:09:43,883
No, no, no, no, no.

386
00:09:43,883 --> 00:09:44,883
He does not demand.

387
00:09:44,883 --> 00:09:46,383
We-We-We-We have no demands.

388
00:09:46,383 --> 00:09:48,425
Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you

389
00:09:46,383 --> 00:09:48,425
to remain calm.

390
00:09:48,425 --> 00:09:49,842
Okay. Yeah, I'm calm.

391
00:09:49,842 --> 00:09:51,383
I'm totally calm.

392
00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:53,092
We've got footage of you

393
00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:53,092
placing two bags

394
00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:55,050
on JFK carousel 3,

395
00:09:55,050 --> 00:09:56,550
and abandoning them

396
00:09:56,550 --> 00:09:59,383
to purchase a last-minute flight

397
00:09:56,550 --> 00:09:59,383
with cash.

398
00:09:59,383 --> 00:10:01,175
Those bags were your

399
00:09:59,383 --> 00:10:01,175
responsibility.

400
00:10:01,175 --> 00:10:02,217
They were your bags!

401
00:10:02,217 --> 00:10:03,217
Sir, please.

402
00:10:03,217 --> 00:10:04,633
We're assessing

403
00:10:04,633 --> 00:10:06,592
the bag situation.

404
00:10:10,300 --> 00:10:11,758
Look, this is all just...

405
00:10:11,758 --> 00:10:12,925
It's a misunderstanding.

406
00:10:12,925 --> 00:10:14,883
Please.

407
00:10:14,883 --> 00:10:17,592
We are international

408
00:10:14,883 --> 00:10:17,592
businessmen.

409
00:10:17,592 --> 00:10:20,508
My colleague accidentally

410
00:10:17,592 --> 00:10:20,508
left the bags there.

411
00:10:20,508 --> 00:10:22,050
Now, please let us go

412
00:10:22,050 --> 00:10:25,592
before we miss

413
00:10:22,050 --> 00:10:25,592
our international

414
00:10:22,050 --> 00:10:25,592
business meeting.

415
00:10:25,592 --> 00:10:28,008
Can't remember the last time

416
00:10:28,008 --> 00:10:29,425
I saw an international

417
00:10:28,008 --> 00:10:29,425
businessman

418
00:10:29,425 --> 00:10:30,883
with an untucked shirt.

419
00:10:30,883 --> 00:10:33,425
In addition,

420
00:10:30,883 --> 00:10:33,425
we received

421
00:10:33,425 --> 00:10:36,883
this footage

422
00:10:33,425 --> 00:10:36,883
taken over the

423
00:10:33,425 --> 00:10:36,883
last few months.

424
00:11:02,717 --> 00:11:05,550
Believe it or not, that

425
00:11:02,717 --> 00:11:05,550
duffel bag thing worked.

426
00:11:06,717 --> 00:11:08,383
The truth is, my friend...

427
00:11:08,383 --> 00:11:10,592
he does this thing

428
00:11:08,383 --> 00:11:10,592
where he goes to airports

429
00:11:10,592 --> 00:11:12,383
with fake luggage

430
00:11:10,592 --> 00:11:12,383
to pick up girls,

431
00:11:12,383 --> 00:11:14,383
and we followed some here

432
00:11:12,383 --> 00:11:14,383
to Philadelphia.

433
00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:16,300
That-That-That's it.

434
00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:16,300
That's all this is.

435
00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:19,217
Nobody's that lame.

436
00:11:19,217 --> 00:11:21,300
Yes, he's that lame.

437
00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:23,342
Tell him you're that lame.

438
00:11:25,342 --> 00:11:26,967
We are international

439
00:11:25,342 --> 00:11:26,967
businessmen.

440
00:11:26,967 --> 00:11:28,342
Oh, come on!

441
00:11:28,342 --> 00:11:30,300
Sir, lower your

442
00:11:28,342 --> 00:11:30,300
voice, or I will

443
00:11:30,300 --> 00:11:31,342
restrain you.

444
00:11:31,342 --> 00:11:33,967
Dude, seriously,

445
00:11:31,342 --> 00:11:33,967
relax.

446
00:11:33,967 --> 00:11:35,883
We at least get

447
00:11:33,967 --> 00:11:35,883
to call our lawyer.

448
00:11:35,883 --> 00:11:38,300
Exactly!

449
00:11:38,300 --> 00:11:40,550
We have a lawyer?

450
00:11:40,550 --> 00:11:42,800
Listen to me...

451
00:11:40,550 --> 00:11:42,800
you're both American citizens.

452
00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:44,967
Don't let him pull

453
00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:44,967
any Patriot Act voodoo.

454
00:11:44,967 --> 00:11:46,133
You both retain the right

455
00:11:46,133 --> 00:11:47,425
to refuse

456
00:11:46,133 --> 00:11:47,425
to answer any questions

457
00:11:47,425 --> 00:11:49,050
without an attorney present,

458
00:11:49,050 --> 00:11:51,092
so don't say anything

459
00:11:49,050 --> 00:11:51,092
until I get there, all right?

460
00:11:51,092 --> 00:11:52,467
Okay. Good-bye.

461
00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:05,508
It's ridiculous

462
00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:05,508
in here.

463
00:12:05,508 --> 00:12:07,508
Why don't we go

464
00:12:05,508 --> 00:12:07,508
somewhere else?

465
00:12:07,508 --> 00:12:10,842
No, this place is great.

466
00:12:13,550 --> 00:12:14,550
What are you doing?

467
00:12:14,550 --> 00:12:16,217
What?

468
00:12:16,217 --> 00:12:17,717
With your lips

469
00:12:16,217 --> 00:12:17,717
and everything?

470
00:12:17,717 --> 00:12:20,592
My lips are always like this.

471
00:12:29,550 --> 00:12:32,967
You had to play

472
00:12:29,550 --> 00:12:32,967
the race card.

473
00:12:32,967 --> 00:12:34,800
Oh, relax, Ted.

474
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:36,092
We didn't do

475
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:36,092
anything wrong.

476
00:12:36,092 --> 00:12:38,925
And, B.T.W., we'd be

477
00:12:36,092 --> 00:12:38,925
out of here by now

478
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:41,175
if you'd have tucked in

479
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:41,175
your shirt.

480
00:12:41,175 --> 00:12:42,300
Go ahead, JFK.

481
00:12:42,300 --> 00:12:43,800
What is the baggage

482
00:12:42,300 --> 00:12:43,800
status?

483
00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:45,092
They're clean.

484
00:12:45,092 --> 00:12:47,133
It's just a whole bunch

485
00:12:45,092 --> 00:12:47,133
of condoms.

486
00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:48,842
And a PowerBar.

487
00:12:50,967 --> 00:12:52,008
You're free

488
00:12:50,967 --> 00:12:52,008
to go.

489
00:12:53,842 --> 00:12:54,925
Don't come to Philly.

490
00:12:54,925 --> 00:12:56,133
Man, I'm almost halfway there.

491
00:12:56,133 --> 00:12:57,550
Yeah, we just got released

492
00:12:57,550 --> 00:12:59,550
and we're heading back

493
00:12:57,550 --> 00:12:59,550
on the next flight.

494
00:12:59,550 --> 00:13:00,842
Uh, meet us at MacClaren's.

495
00:13:00,842 --> 00:13:02,342
Maybe we can still make

496
00:13:00,842 --> 00:13:02,342
last call.

497
00:13:02,342 --> 00:13:03,800
Can't we just, just...

498
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:05,342
No, we can't just.

499
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:05,342
We're going home.

500
00:13:05,342 --> 00:13:07,050
We're going to Sascha's.

501
00:13:07,050 --> 00:13:08,925
Who the hell is Sascha?

502
00:13:08,925 --> 00:13:10,467
Sascha.

503
00:13:10,467 --> 00:13:13,175
She's having friends over

504
00:13:10,467 --> 00:13:13,175
for drinks at her house.

505
00:13:13,175 --> 00:13:15,633
It's gonna be legen...

506
00:13:13,175 --> 00:13:15,633
wait for it...

507
00:13:15,633 --> 00:13:17,467
and I hope you're not

508
00:13:15,633 --> 00:13:17,467
lactose-intolerant

509
00:13:17,467 --> 00:13:19,675
'cause the second half

510
00:13:17,467 --> 00:13:19,675
of that word is... dary!

511
00:13:19,675 --> 00:13:20,842
No.

512
00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:21,842
Legendary.

513
00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:23,758
Legendary. That sounds awesome.

514
00:13:23,758 --> 00:13:25,092
No, Marshall, we're going back.

515
00:13:25,092 --> 00:13:27,717
Fine.

516
00:13:25,092 --> 00:13:27,717
Hold on. I have another call.

517
00:13:28,717 --> 00:13:30,008
Hello?

518
00:13:30,008 --> 00:13:31,425
Marshall, we're

519
00:13:30,008 --> 00:13:31,425
going to Sascha's.

520
00:13:31,425 --> 00:13:32,758
No, we're not.

521
00:13:32,758 --> 00:13:34,883
Ted, Ted, Ted.

522
00:13:32,758 --> 00:13:34,883
Right here.

523
00:13:34,883 --> 00:13:35,883
Yes, we are.

524
00:13:36,925 --> 00:13:39,342
Sorry, buddy...

525
00:13:36,925 --> 00:13:39,342
two against one.

526
00:13:39,342 --> 00:13:41,967
Ooh, look,

527
00:13:39,342 --> 00:13:41,967
a booth opened up.

528
00:13:41,967 --> 00:13:43,300
Really?

529
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:44,467
Yeah, I thought

530
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:44,467
we could

531
00:13:44,467 --> 00:13:45,883
finally go talk...

532
00:13:44,467 --> 00:13:45,883
and you're not

533
00:13:45,883 --> 00:13:47,883
listening to me, so I'm

534
00:13:45,883 --> 00:13:47,883
going to walk away.

535
00:13:47,883 --> 00:13:48,883
Yeah, yeah, booth.

536
00:13:53,717 --> 00:13:54,717
Hey.

537
00:13:54,717 --> 00:13:55,758
Hey.

538
00:13:55,758 --> 00:13:57,425
I'm engaged.

539
00:13:57,425 --> 00:13:58,425
Yeah, I'm sorry.

540
00:13:58,425 --> 00:13:59,883
I took my ring off.

541
00:13:59,883 --> 00:14:01,175
It's very, very sweet of you

542
00:14:01,175 --> 00:14:03,717
to come over and talk to me,

543
00:14:01,175 --> 00:14:03,717
but I just...

544
00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:05,133
Yeah, I'm gay.

545
00:14:05,133 --> 00:14:06,550
I just came over

546
00:14:05,133 --> 00:14:06,550
to let you know

547
00:14:06,550 --> 00:14:08,217
that you sat on a grape.

548
00:14:10,008 --> 00:14:12,883
Oh, damn it.

549
00:14:17,300 --> 00:14:19,300
So Barney and I hit the town.

550
00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:20,967
Philadelphia, PA.

551
00:14:20,967 --> 00:14:23,800
Our first and only stop:

552
00:14:20,967 --> 00:14:23,800
Sascha's party.

553
00:14:28,217 --> 00:14:29,758
So, uh...

554
00:14:29,758 --> 00:14:31,300
you're Sascha's friends, huh?

555
00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:33,258
You know it.

556
00:14:33,258 --> 00:14:36,758
You guys, keep

557
00:14:33,258 --> 00:14:36,758
the volume down.

558
00:14:36,758 --> 00:14:38,883
You're gonna wake

559
00:14:36,758 --> 00:14:38,883
my grandpa.

560
00:14:41,550 --> 00:14:43,258
Who wants hard lemonade?

561
00:14:49,883 --> 00:14:52,050
Philly!

562
00:14:52,050 --> 00:14:55,633
Shh!

563
00:14:52,050 --> 00:14:55,633
Philly.

564
00:15:01,092 --> 00:15:02,883
Back at the bar,

565
00:15:01,092 --> 00:15:02,883
girls' night out

566
00:15:02,883 --> 00:15:04,342
wasn't going

567
00:15:02,883 --> 00:15:04,342
as Robin had hoped.

568
00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:11,508
Lily's phone.

569
00:15:11,508 --> 00:15:13,425
Robin, uh, where's Lily?

570
00:15:13,425 --> 00:15:15,092
She's, uh...

571
00:15:16,175 --> 00:15:17,883
Is she talking to some hot guy?

572
00:15:17,883 --> 00:15:19,300
Oh, you can tell me.

573
00:15:19,300 --> 00:15:20,800
It's totally cool.

574
00:15:19,300 --> 00:15:20,800
It was my idea.

575
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:23,008
Hell, I told her

576
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:23,008
she could take the ring off.

577
00:15:23,008 --> 00:15:24,217
Really?

578
00:15:24,217 --> 00:15:25,800
Well, I thought

579
00:15:24,217 --> 00:15:25,800
it was kind of weird,

580
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,592
but if you're cool with it,

581
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,592
yeah, uh, it's off,

582
00:15:27,592 --> 00:15:28,758
and she's talking to some guy.

583
00:15:28,758 --> 00:15:30,092
Do you want me to go over and...

584
00:15:30,092 --> 00:15:31,633
No, don't interrupt.

585
00:15:31,633 --> 00:15:33,383
It's awesome.

586
00:15:33,383 --> 00:15:36,217
So, the ring's really off, huh?

587
00:15:36,217 --> 00:15:39,633
That's awesome.

588
00:15:39,633 --> 00:15:41,800
Well, just tell her I called.

589
00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:46,383
And tell her that

590
00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:46,383
she is... awesome.

591
00:15:59,633 --> 00:16:02,967
I can't breathe.

592
00:16:03,967 --> 00:16:05,258
You hear that, Ted?

593
00:16:05,258 --> 00:16:07,675
Dana works security

594
00:16:05,258 --> 00:16:07,675
at the Liberty Bell.

595
00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:09,175
I do okay.

596
00:16:09,175 --> 00:16:11,633
Wow, it must be really well

597
00:16:09,175 --> 00:16:11,633
cordoned off over there.

598
00:16:11,633 --> 00:16:14,217
Do you ever go behind

599
00:16:11,633 --> 00:16:14,217
the rope and touch it?

600
00:16:14,217 --> 00:16:16,008
Only all the time.

601
00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:18,050
You ever, like, stick

602
00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:18,050
your head inside it?

603
00:16:18,050 --> 00:16:19,842
Yeah.

604
00:16:19,842 --> 00:16:21,800
You ever lick it?

605
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,092
Nope.

606
00:16:24,092 --> 00:16:25,800
I have never licked it.

607
00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:27,425
Hmm.

608
00:16:27,425 --> 00:16:31,300
I bet nobody in history has

609
00:16:27,425 --> 00:16:31,300
ever licked the Liberty Bell.

610
00:16:31,300 --> 00:16:34,050
If someone were

611
00:16:31,300 --> 00:16:34,050
to pull that off,

612
00:16:34,050 --> 00:16:37,550
I dare say it would be...

613
00:16:34,050 --> 00:16:37,550
what's the word?

614
00:16:37,550 --> 00:16:39,175
Well, this is my stop.

615
00:16:39,175 --> 00:16:40,300
Legendary.

616
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:41,550
Ted, legendary.

617
00:16:41,550 --> 00:16:43,133
Barney, I'm going

618
00:16:41,550 --> 00:16:43,133
to the airport.

619
00:16:43,133 --> 00:16:44,550
Sascha, thank you,

620
00:16:43,133 --> 00:16:44,550
and, uh,

621
00:16:44,550 --> 00:16:45,675
tell your grandpa I'm sorry

622
00:16:45,675 --> 00:16:46,717
I walked in on him

623
00:16:45,675 --> 00:16:46,717
in the bathroom.

624
00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:51,925
I'll get some club soda

625
00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:51,925
for that stain.

626
00:16:54,092 --> 00:16:56,467
Lily, I thought tonight

627
00:16:54,092 --> 00:16:56,467
was about us hanging out.

628
00:16:56,467 --> 00:16:58,008
What are you doing?

629
00:16:58,008 --> 00:17:02,300
Just fending off the advances

630
00:16:58,008 --> 00:17:02,300
of that totally hot guy.

631
00:17:02,300 --> 00:17:03,800
Dude, I think that guy is gay.

632
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:05,967
Oh, I know

633
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:05,967
that guy is gay.

634
00:17:05,967 --> 00:17:08,925
It's just, Marshall and I have

635
00:17:05,967 --> 00:17:08,925
been together for nine years.

636
00:17:08,925 --> 00:17:11,300
I haven't been single

637
00:17:08,925 --> 00:17:11,300
since high school.

638
00:17:11,300 --> 00:17:12,842
You want to be single?

639
00:17:12,842 --> 00:17:14,925
You want to fight off

640
00:17:12,842 --> 00:17:14,925
loser guys all night?

641
00:17:14,925 --> 00:17:16,550
Does that seem like fun to you?

642
00:17:16,550 --> 00:17:19,425
I guess I just wanted to throw

643
00:17:16,550 --> 00:17:19,425
this net back into the ocean

644
00:17:19,425 --> 00:17:21,800
and see how many fish

645
00:17:19,425 --> 00:17:21,800
I could catch.

646
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:23,758
So far, one.

647
00:17:23,758 --> 00:17:25,842
One gay dolphin.

648
00:17:25,842 --> 00:17:27,050
And Marshall.

649
00:17:27,050 --> 00:17:29,175
Lily, all these

650
00:17:27,050 --> 00:17:29,175
girls here tonight

651
00:17:29,175 --> 00:17:31,092
are all hoping to catch

652
00:17:29,175 --> 00:17:31,092
what you've already got.

653
00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:34,175
You're right. I know.

654
00:17:34,175 --> 00:17:36,758
Hey, do you want

655
00:17:34,175 --> 00:17:36,758
to go get coffee

656
00:17:36,758 --> 00:17:38,425
and have an actual conversation?

657
00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:42,425
If by "coffee"

658
00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:42,425
you mean "cheesecake," then yes.

659
00:17:42,425 --> 00:17:44,175
Hey, I got that club soda.

660
00:17:44,175 --> 00:17:45,717
Let's see that booty.

661
00:17:45,717 --> 00:17:47,925
Oh, thank you

662
00:17:45,717 --> 00:17:47,925
so much.

663
00:17:51,300 --> 00:17:53,133
You want to mess, pal?

664
00:17:53,133 --> 00:17:55,800
That's my fiancée's hot backside

665
00:17:53,133 --> 00:17:55,800
that you're dabbing.

666
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:57,342
Marshall, no.

667
00:17:57,342 --> 00:17:59,717
Baby, please, don't ever

668
00:17:57,342 --> 00:17:59,717
take that ring off again,

669
00:17:59,717 --> 00:18:01,717
no matter how awesome

670
00:17:59,717 --> 00:18:01,717
I say that it is.

671
00:18:01,717 --> 00:18:03,467
It's okay, man...

672
00:18:01,717 --> 00:18:03,467
Back off, hombre!

673
00:18:03,467 --> 00:18:05,050
I'm not that afraid

674
00:18:03,467 --> 00:18:05,050
to fight you.

675
00:18:05,050 --> 00:18:06,092
You want to test

676
00:18:06,092 --> 00:18:08,633
this guy, be my guest,

677
00:18:06,092 --> 00:18:08,633
come on.

678
00:18:08,633 --> 00:18:10,300
Marshall,

679
00:18:08,633 --> 00:18:10,300
he's gay.

680
00:18:10,300 --> 00:18:13,217
Oh, thank God. I've never

681
00:18:10,300 --> 00:18:13,217
been in a fight before.

682
00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:14,300
You don't say.

683
00:18:14,300 --> 00:18:16,508
So, it turned out

684
00:18:16,508 --> 00:18:18,842
Uncle Marshall

685
00:18:16,508 --> 00:18:18,842
really was the jealous type.

686
00:18:18,842 --> 00:18:20,675
Unfortunately,

687
00:18:18,842 --> 00:18:20,675
that guy's boyfriend...

688
00:18:20,675 --> 00:18:22,758
also the jealous type.

689
00:18:23,925 --> 00:18:25,508
Hey!

690
00:18:32,758 --> 00:18:35,967
Could have licked

691
00:18:32,758 --> 00:18:35,967
the Liberty Bell.

692
00:18:35,967 --> 00:18:39,175
We're going

693
00:18:35,967 --> 00:18:39,175
to the airport.

694
00:18:39,175 --> 00:18:41,675
Bong...

695
00:18:41,675 --> 00:18:45,133
bong... bo...

696
00:18:45,133 --> 00:18:47,258
Why do I hang out

697
00:18:45,133 --> 00:18:47,258
with you? Why?

698
00:18:47,258 --> 00:18:49,508
All I wanted was

699
00:18:47,258 --> 00:18:49,508
to have a regular beer

700
00:18:49,508 --> 00:18:51,675
at my regular bar

701
00:18:49,508 --> 00:18:51,675
with my regular friends

702
00:18:51,675 --> 00:18:53,008
in my regular city.

703
00:18:53,008 --> 00:18:54,925
Ted, Ted, Ted.

704
00:18:54,925 --> 00:18:57,050
You're not even looking.

705
00:18:57,050 --> 00:18:58,758
No, I'm not.

706
00:18:58,758 --> 00:19:03,675
Look, our forefathers died for

707
00:18:58,758 --> 00:19:03,675
the pursuit of happiness, okay?

708
00:19:03,675 --> 00:19:06,133
Not for the sit around

709
00:19:03,675 --> 00:19:06,133
and wait of happiness.

710
00:19:06,133 --> 00:19:07,883
Now, if you want,

711
00:19:07,883 --> 00:19:10,425
you can go to the same bar,

712
00:19:07,883 --> 00:19:10,425
drink the same beer,

713
00:19:10,425 --> 00:19:12,050
talk to the same people

714
00:19:10,425 --> 00:19:12,050
every day,

715
00:19:12,050 --> 00:19:14,883
or you can lick

716
00:19:12,050 --> 00:19:14,883
the Liberty Bell.

717
00:19:14,883 --> 00:19:20,300
You can grab life by the crack

718
00:19:14,883 --> 00:19:20,300
and lick the crap out of it.

719
00:19:20,300 --> 00:19:23,675
That was

720
00:19:20,300 --> 00:19:23,675
beautiful, man.

721
00:19:23,675 --> 00:19:26,258
Thanks, Leonard.

722
00:19:26,258 --> 00:19:29,258
Ted, you're missing out

723
00:19:26,258 --> 00:19:29,258
on a valuable life lesson here.

724
00:19:29,258 --> 00:19:31,925
Look, I don't need you

725
00:19:29,258 --> 00:19:31,925
to teach me how to live, okay?

726
00:19:31,925 --> 00:19:33,175
I know how to live.

727
00:19:33,175 --> 00:19:35,133
If you want to go

728
00:19:33,175 --> 00:19:35,133
lick the Liberty Bell,

729
00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:36,217
just go lick it yourself.

730
00:19:36,217 --> 00:19:38,508
No, it has to be

731
00:19:36,217 --> 00:19:38,508
the two of us.

732
00:19:38,508 --> 00:19:39,842
Why? Why do you

733
00:19:38,508 --> 00:19:39,842
need me?

734
00:19:39,842 --> 00:19:41,800
Because you're

735
00:19:39,842 --> 00:19:41,800
my best friend, all right?

736
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:43,967
You don't have

737
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:43,967
to tell me I'm yours,

738
00:19:43,967 --> 00:19:46,425
but the way I see it,

739
00:19:43,967 --> 00:19:46,425
we're a team.

740
00:19:46,425 --> 00:19:49,133
Without you, I'm...

741
00:19:49,133 --> 00:19:52,008
I'm just the Dynamic Uno.

742
00:19:52,008 --> 00:19:55,800
So, fine, if you

743
00:19:52,008 --> 00:19:55,800
want to go home,

744
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:58,758
then we'll go home.

745
00:20:00,883 --> 00:20:03,550
Fine.

746
00:20:03,550 --> 00:20:05,842
We'll go lick the Liberty Bell.

747
00:20:05,842 --> 00:20:07,217
Good, 'cause we're here.

748
00:20:09,675 --> 00:20:11,217
I had no idea how Barney

749
00:20:11,217 --> 00:20:12,300
redirected the cab

750
00:20:11,217 --> 00:20:12,300
without me knowing,

751
00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:14,633
but we got out, Dana let us in,

752
00:20:14,633 --> 00:20:17,675
and by God,

753
00:20:14,633 --> 00:20:17,675
we licked the Liberty Bell.

754
00:20:17,675 --> 00:20:19,008
And you know

755
00:20:17,675 --> 00:20:19,008
what it tastes like?

756
00:20:19,008 --> 00:20:20,008
What?

757
00:20:21,550 --> 00:20:23,758
Freedom.

758
00:20:23,758 --> 00:20:25,925
No, actually, it tastes

759
00:20:23,758 --> 00:20:25,925
like pennies.

760
00:20:25,925 --> 00:20:27,133
Oh, my God.

761
00:20:27,133 --> 00:20:28,800
Did you guys really do that?

762
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:30,633
We really did.

763
00:20:30,633 --> 00:20:33,800
And that was when I realized

764
00:20:30,633 --> 00:20:33,800
why I hung out with Barney.

765
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,300
I never got where I thought

766
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,300
I wanted to go,

767
00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:38,633
but I always got a great story.

768
00:20:41,633 --> 00:20:43,675
So, that girl

769
00:20:41,633 --> 00:20:43,675
you were talking to...

770
00:20:43,675 --> 00:20:44,883
that was Mom?

771
00:20:44,883 --> 00:20:46,675
Kids, every story

772
00:20:44,883 --> 00:20:46,675
in a man's life

773
00:20:46,675 --> 00:20:48,883
is like a dot

774
00:20:46,675 --> 00:20:48,883
in an Impressionist painting...

775
00:20:48,883 --> 00:20:50,592
So that's a no?

776
00:20:50,592 --> 00:20:52,967
Yeah, that's a no.

777
00:20:52,967 --> 00:20:54,883
What? Come on...!

778
00:21:17,633 --> 00:21:20,133
Captioned by

779
00:21:17,633 --> 00:21:20,133
Media Access Group at WGBH