1 00:00:14,667 --> 00:00:18,295 So, kids, 2 00:00:14,667 --> 00:00:18,295 there are many buildings 3 00:00:14,667 --> 00:00:18,295 in New York City. 4 00:00:18,337 --> 00:00:20,464 Thousands of apartments. 5 00:00:20,506 --> 00:00:22,549 Millions of stories. 6 00:00:22,591 --> 00:00:24,176 And even though 7 00:00:22,591 --> 00:00:24,176 it's been decades, 8 00:00:24,217 --> 00:00:26,219 and someone else 9 00:00:24,217 --> 00:00:26,219 lives there now, 10 00:00:26,261 --> 00:00:28,221 there's one apartment 11 00:00:26,261 --> 00:00:28,221 in particular, 12 00:00:28,263 --> 00:00:31,475 that will always 13 00:00:28,263 --> 00:00:31,475 be our apartment. 14 00:00:31,517 --> 00:00:34,144 I have so many great memories 15 00:00:31,517 --> 00:00:34,144 of that place. 16 00:00:34,186 --> 00:00:36,605 Marshall playing video games. 17 00:00:36,647 --> 00:00:39,733 Lily painting on 18 00:00:36,647 --> 00:00:39,733 the fire escape. 19 00:00:39,775 --> 00:00:41,610 Hey! 20 00:00:41,652 --> 00:00:43,236 Sorry, Mr. Matson! 21 00:00:44,279 --> 00:00:46,281 And me making the coffee. 22 00:00:46,323 --> 00:00:47,991 I had this coffee pot. 23 00:00:48,033 --> 00:00:49,910 It was probably 24 00:00:48,033 --> 00:00:49,910 50 years old at that time, 25 00:00:49,951 --> 00:00:52,037 and it made truly 26 00:00:49,951 --> 00:00:52,037 terrible coffee. 27 00:00:52,078 --> 00:00:53,831 We called it Shocky. 28 00:00:53,873 --> 00:00:54,832 Plugging in. 29 00:00:54,874 --> 00:00:55,999 Saving game. 30 00:01:00,921 --> 00:01:03,089 I loved every last 31 00:01:00,921 --> 00:01:03,089 detail of that place, 32 00:01:03,131 --> 00:01:06,635 right down to 33 00:01:03,131 --> 00:01:06,635 the incredibly tacky swords 34 00:01:03,131 --> 00:01:06,635 we hung on the wall. 35 00:01:06,677 --> 00:01:08,762 I never wanted 36 00:01:06,677 --> 00:01:08,762 any of it to change, 37 00:01:08,804 --> 00:01:11,014 but that's not 38 00:01:08,804 --> 00:01:11,014 how life works. 39 00:01:13,183 --> 00:01:15,728 You guys will never believe 40 00:01:13,183 --> 00:01:15,728 what just happened to us. 41 00:01:15,769 --> 00:01:17,730 I don't even 42 00:01:15,769 --> 00:01:17,730 believe it myself. 43 00:01:17,771 --> 00:01:20,399 We were in Queens 44 00:01:17,771 --> 00:01:20,399 and we decided to 45 00:01:17,771 --> 00:01:20,399 stop by my apartment. 46 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:22,067 Wait, her apartment? 47 00:01:22,108 --> 00:01:24,862 I thought Aunt Lily lived 48 00:01:22,108 --> 00:01:24,862 with you and Uncle Marshall. 49 00:01:24,904 --> 00:01:26,947 I could see how 50 00:01:24,904 --> 00:01:26,947 you would think that, 51 00:01:26,988 --> 00:01:28,532 but I have to have 52 00:01:26,988 --> 00:01:28,532 my own place. 53 00:01:28,574 --> 00:01:30,242 It's an independence thing. 54 00:01:30,283 --> 00:01:32,285 When was the last time 55 00:01:30,283 --> 00:01:32,285 you were there? 56 00:01:32,327 --> 00:01:34,204 Three months ago. 57 00:01:34,246 --> 00:01:36,998 What? It's like fat pants. 58 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:38,876 You hope you never 59 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:38,876 have to use them, 60 00:01:38,918 --> 00:01:40,836 but you're glad to 61 00:01:38,918 --> 00:01:40,836 know they're there. 62 00:01:42,838 --> 00:01:44,882 What the hell? 63 00:01:42,838 --> 00:01:44,882 What? 64 00:01:45,966 --> 00:01:48,051 This is my apartment. 65 00:01:48,093 --> 00:01:49,177 Where? 66 00:01:49,219 --> 00:01:50,303 Right here! 67 00:01:52,431 --> 00:01:54,725 What the hell? 68 00:01:54,767 --> 00:01:56,602 Lily, this is 69 00:01:54,767 --> 00:01:56,602 a Chinese restaurant. 70 00:01:56,643 --> 00:02:00,272 No! No! 71 00:01:56,643 --> 00:02:00,272 This was my apartment! 72 00:02:00,313 --> 00:02:01,481 My dresser was right... 73 00:02:01,523 --> 00:02:03,442 That's my dresser! 74 00:02:04,526 --> 00:02:07,529 And this is my closet. 75 00:02:07,571 --> 00:02:10,031 And I spilled 76 00:02:07,571 --> 00:02:10,031 nail polish there. 77 00:02:10,073 --> 00:02:12,117 There's the stain! 78 00:02:12,158 --> 00:02:13,577 Hi, how many? 79 00:02:13,619 --> 00:02:15,036 Lily! 80 00:02:15,078 --> 00:02:16,538 Yes. You know me? 81 00:02:16,580 --> 00:02:18,999 Yeah, 82 00:02:16,580 --> 00:02:18,999 from your homecoming picture. 83 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:22,502 You're much prettier 84 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:22,502 in the person. 85 00:02:22,544 --> 00:02:25,422 Yeah, I know, 86 00:02:22,544 --> 00:02:25,422 the bangs were a mistake. 87 00:02:25,464 --> 00:02:26,673 Where is my stuff? 88 00:02:26,715 --> 00:02:28,174 Oh, it's all in the back. 89 00:02:28,216 --> 00:02:30,010 We could wrap it up for you. 90 00:02:30,051 --> 00:02:31,845 You want it to go? 91 00:02:31,887 --> 00:02:34,055 This is my apartment. 92 00:02:34,097 --> 00:02:35,766 Not anymore. 93 00:02:36,809 --> 00:02:38,978 No way. 94 00:02:36,809 --> 00:02:38,978 You're making this up. 95 00:02:39,019 --> 00:02:41,438 Yeah, the building 96 00:02:39,019 --> 00:02:41,438 would've had to give you 97 00:02:39,019 --> 00:02:41,438 some kind of notice. 98 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:42,982 They sent you 99 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:42,982 a notice about this. 100 00:02:43,023 --> 00:02:45,651 When? 101 00:02:43,023 --> 00:02:45,651 Three month ago. 102 00:02:45,692 --> 00:02:48,111 And here's your mail. 103 00:02:45,692 --> 00:02:48,111 Minus magazines. 104 00:02:49,696 --> 00:02:51,657 Well, still, legally 105 00:02:49,696 --> 00:02:51,657 they can't just toss you 106 00:02:51,698 --> 00:02:53,492 out on the street, 107 00:02:51,698 --> 00:02:53,492 you have a lease. 108 00:02:53,533 --> 00:02:56,536 Okay, so I didn't have 109 00:02:53,533 --> 00:02:56,536 a written lease as such. 110 00:02:56,578 --> 00:02:59,748 But... but go ask my landlady, 111 00:02:56,578 --> 00:02:59,748 Mrs. Conroy. 112 00:02:59,790 --> 00:03:02,751 She may be 98 years old, 113 00:02:59,790 --> 00:03:02,751 but she still... 114 00:03:03,794 --> 00:03:05,420 She's dead, isn't she? 115 00:03:05,462 --> 00:03:07,297 Never even saw the bus. 116 00:03:08,882 --> 00:03:12,552 My apartment is 117 00:03:08,882 --> 00:03:12,552 a Chinese restaurant. 118 00:03:12,594 --> 00:03:14,304 What am I gonna do? 119 00:03:14,346 --> 00:03:15,430 Come live with us. 120 00:03:16,306 --> 00:03:18,266 Really? 121 00:03:16,306 --> 00:03:18,266 Of course. 122 00:03:18,308 --> 00:03:19,893 You sure about this, Ted? 123 00:03:19,935 --> 00:03:22,145 Yeah. I mean, you basically 124 00:03:19,935 --> 00:03:22,145 live here anyway. 125 00:03:22,187 --> 00:03:23,981 It's not like 126 00:03:22,187 --> 00:03:23,981 it'll change anything. 127 00:03:24,023 --> 00:03:26,483 No, it's like it'll 128 00:03:24,023 --> 00:03:26,483 change everything! 129 00:03:26,525 --> 00:03:28,944 Oh, Ted! You are so screwed. 130 00:03:28,986 --> 00:03:30,320 What, what are you 131 00:03:28,986 --> 00:03:30,320 talking about? 132 00:03:30,362 --> 00:03:32,322 And why is that girl 133 00:03:30,362 --> 00:03:32,322 checking you out? 134 00:03:33,281 --> 00:03:35,367 Because I look good. 135 00:03:35,408 --> 00:03:36,785 Now focus. 136 00:03:36,827 --> 00:03:38,328 You and Marshall 137 00:03:36,827 --> 00:03:38,328 are roommates. 138 00:03:38,370 --> 00:03:39,997 You have 139 00:03:38,370 --> 00:03:39,997 an amazing apartment. 140 00:03:40,039 --> 00:03:41,414 Marshall and Lily 141 00:03:40,039 --> 00:03:41,414 just got engaged. 142 00:03:41,456 --> 00:03:42,958 Yeah. So? 143 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:44,668 So, you're not still 144 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:44,668 gonna be his roommate 145 00:03:44,710 --> 00:03:46,378 when he gets married, 146 00:03:44,710 --> 00:03:46,378 are you? 147 00:03:46,419 --> 00:03:48,505 Someone's going to move out. 148 00:03:46,419 --> 00:03:48,505 So, who's it going to be? 149 00:03:48,547 --> 00:03:51,091 Come on, Barney, 150 00:03:48,547 --> 00:03:51,091 I'm sure they've talked about 151 00:03:48,547 --> 00:03:51,091 who gets the apartment. 152 00:03:51,132 --> 00:03:52,926 You've talked about 153 00:03:51,132 --> 00:03:52,926 who gets the apartment, 154 00:03:51,132 --> 00:03:52,926 right? 155 00:03:52,968 --> 00:03:55,054 Yeah, we've talked about it. 156 00:03:55,095 --> 00:03:57,931 So, when Lily and I 157 00:03:55,095 --> 00:03:57,931 get married, 158 00:03:58,891 --> 00:04:01,393 who's gonna get the apartment? 159 00:04:01,434 --> 00:04:04,104 Uh, that's a tough one. 160 00:04:04,145 --> 00:04:06,773 You know who I think could 161 00:04:04,145 --> 00:04:06,773 handle a problem like that? 162 00:04:06,815 --> 00:04:08,191 Who? 163 00:04:08,233 --> 00:04:10,694 Future Ted 164 00:04:08,233 --> 00:04:10,694 and Future Marshall. 165 00:04:12,071 --> 00:04:15,407 Totally. Let's let 166 00:04:12,071 --> 00:04:15,407 those guys handle it. 167 00:04:15,448 --> 00:04:17,034 Damn it, Past Ted! 168 00:04:18,326 --> 00:04:20,037 You blew it, dude. 169 00:04:20,079 --> 00:04:22,039 Now that Lily's there, 170 00:04:20,079 --> 00:04:22,039 it's a whole new dynamic. 171 00:04:22,081 --> 00:04:23,164 They're edging you out. 172 00:04:23,206 --> 00:04:24,875 That's crazy. 173 00:04:24,917 --> 00:04:27,168 They're not edging me out. 174 00:04:24,917 --> 00:04:27,168 Marshall's my best friend. 175 00:04:27,210 --> 00:04:29,088 One of my best friends. 176 00:04:30,005 --> 00:04:32,298 He wouldn't do that to me. 177 00:04:32,340 --> 00:04:34,801 Just keep your eyes open. 178 00:04:32,340 --> 00:04:34,801 That's all I'm saying, Teddy. 179 00:04:34,843 --> 00:04:37,512 Little things are 180 00:04:34,843 --> 00:04:37,512 gonna be changing 181 00:04:34,843 --> 00:04:37,512 around that apartment. 182 00:04:37,554 --> 00:04:39,472 Come on, Barney, 183 00:04:37,554 --> 00:04:39,472 you're just being paranoid. 184 00:04:39,514 --> 00:04:43,102 Okay, seriously, 185 00:04:39,514 --> 00:04:43,102 what is this girl's deal? 186 00:04:43,143 --> 00:04:44,561 Sort of 187 00:04:43,143 --> 00:04:44,561 on a date with her. 188 00:04:44,603 --> 00:04:45,979 What? 189 00:04:46,021 --> 00:04:48,982 Yeah, yeah. 190 00:04:46,021 --> 00:04:48,982 I found her online. 191 00:04:49,024 --> 00:04:52,611 I'm tired of 192 00:04:49,024 --> 00:04:52,611 the whole bar scene, 193 00:04:49,024 --> 00:04:52,611 the one-night hookups. 194 00:04:52,652 --> 00:04:55,072 I'm looking for a soul mate. 195 00:04:55,114 --> 00:04:56,949 Someone who I can 196 00:04:55,114 --> 00:04:56,949 love and cuddle. 197 00:04:57,908 --> 00:05:00,577 Or, so it says in my profile. 198 00:05:02,996 --> 00:05:08,919 But this girl, 199 00:05:02,996 --> 00:05:08,919 she wants the same stuff, and 200 00:05:02,996 --> 00:05:08,919 it's... it's bumming me out. 201 00:05:08,961 --> 00:05:10,545 All right, Ted, 202 00:05:08,961 --> 00:05:10,545 call me from the hospital. 203 00:05:10,587 --> 00:05:12,505 All right. 204 00:05:10,587 --> 00:05:12,505 You're going to the hospital? 205 00:05:12,547 --> 00:05:14,633 No, see, he's gonna 206 00:05:12,547 --> 00:05:14,633 go back over there. 207 00:05:12,547 --> 00:05:14,633 I'm gonna call him. 208 00:05:14,674 --> 00:05:15,968 He's gonna pretend 209 00:05:14,674 --> 00:05:15,968 it's an emergency call 210 00:05:16,009 --> 00:05:17,594 from a family member 211 00:05:16,009 --> 00:05:17,594 at the hospital. 212 00:05:17,636 --> 00:05:19,930 Oh, Lord! 213 00:05:17,636 --> 00:05:19,930 The fake emergency? 214 00:05:19,972 --> 00:05:23,475 That is the lamest, 215 00:05:19,972 --> 00:05:23,475 most pathetic 216 00:05:19,972 --> 00:05:23,475 cop-out in the book. 217 00:05:23,516 --> 00:05:24,768 I expect more 218 00:05:23,516 --> 00:05:24,768 from you, Barney. 219 00:05:24,810 --> 00:05:25,978 Well, stay tuned. 220 00:05:26,019 --> 00:05:27,687 I'm working on some stuff. 221 00:05:27,729 --> 00:05:29,940 But in the meantime, 222 00:05:27,729 --> 00:05:29,940 wish me luck. 223 00:05:32,025 --> 00:05:34,486 So, are you gonna 224 00:05:32,025 --> 00:05:34,486 talk to Marshall? 225 00:05:34,527 --> 00:05:37,072 He's gonna want the apartment. 226 00:05:34,527 --> 00:05:37,072 I'm gonna want the apartment. 227 00:05:37,114 --> 00:05:39,199 It's gonna lead to 228 00:05:37,114 --> 00:05:39,199 an argument. So, no. 229 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:41,242 Hmm. That's real healthy. 230 00:05:41,284 --> 00:05:43,620 So, when a serious 231 00:05:41,284 --> 00:05:43,620 issue comes up, 232 00:05:43,662 --> 00:05:46,165 your response is 233 00:05:43,662 --> 00:05:46,165 just to avoid it? 234 00:05:46,206 --> 00:05:48,000 I should really 235 00:05:46,206 --> 00:05:48,000 make this call. 236 00:05:48,959 --> 00:05:50,335 Oh, can I do it? 237 00:05:55,132 --> 00:05:56,424 Excuse me. 238 00:05:57,801 --> 00:05:58,885 Hello. 239 00:05:58,927 --> 00:06:01,221 Hi there, sexy. 240 00:06:01,262 --> 00:06:03,515 Hello, Aunt Kathy. What's up? 241 00:06:03,556 --> 00:06:05,100 Oh, nothing. 242 00:06:05,142 --> 00:06:09,354 Just sitting here, 243 00:06:05,142 --> 00:06:09,354 thinking about you, 244 00:06:05,142 --> 00:06:09,354 hot stuff. 245 00:06:09,395 --> 00:06:11,190 An accident? 246 00:06:11,231 --> 00:06:14,275 Well, is Uncle Rudy 247 00:06:11,231 --> 00:06:14,275 gonna be okay? 248 00:06:14,317 --> 00:06:18,905 Aunt Kathy's got an itch that 249 00:06:14,317 --> 00:06:18,905 only you can scratch, big boy. 250 00:06:20,699 --> 00:06:22,201 Oh, God! 251 00:06:22,242 --> 00:06:25,829 Why did he think 252 00:06:22,242 --> 00:06:25,829 he could build 253 00:06:22,242 --> 00:06:25,829 his own helicopter? 254 00:06:25,871 --> 00:06:27,164 Come on, Daddy. 255 00:06:27,206 --> 00:06:30,125 Break me off a piece 256 00:06:27,206 --> 00:06:30,125 of that white chocolate. 257 00:06:31,877 --> 00:06:34,629 Well, if he needs 258 00:06:31,877 --> 00:06:34,629 a transplant, 259 00:06:31,877 --> 00:06:34,629 he can have mine. 260 00:06:34,671 --> 00:06:36,631 I'll be right there. 261 00:06:36,673 --> 00:06:38,299 You know, I... 262 00:06:42,637 --> 00:06:43,972 See you guys later. 263 00:06:45,015 --> 00:06:46,474 Put it on my tab. 264 00:06:48,518 --> 00:06:50,478 Ah, this'll be nice. 265 00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:52,147 The three of us 266 00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:52,147 living together. 267 00:06:53,190 --> 00:06:54,733 I think it's a good setup. 268 00:06:56,568 --> 00:06:57,986 Man, this coffee's great. 269 00:06:59,946 --> 00:07:01,740 It's really great. 270 00:07:04,450 --> 00:07:05,660 Too great. 271 00:07:09,081 --> 00:07:10,874 What happened to Shocky? 272 00:07:20,217 --> 00:07:21,843 What's this? 273 00:07:21,885 --> 00:07:23,636 My coffee maker. 274 00:07:21,885 --> 00:07:23,636 From my apartment. 275 00:07:23,678 --> 00:07:25,305 Makes great coffee, right? 276 00:07:25,346 --> 00:07:27,224 Yeah, definitely. 277 00:07:27,266 --> 00:07:29,392 I mean, so does Shocky. 278 00:07:29,434 --> 00:07:33,521 Really? I always 279 00:07:29,434 --> 00:07:33,521 thought Shocky's coffee 280 00:07:29,434 --> 00:07:33,521 tasted kind of rusty. 281 00:07:33,563 --> 00:07:35,190 Yeah. No. It did. 282 00:07:35,232 --> 00:07:39,111 I mean, I kind of 283 00:07:35,232 --> 00:07:39,111 like the rusty taste. 284 00:07:39,152 --> 00:07:41,321 I'm used to it. I don't know. 285 00:07:41,362 --> 00:07:45,200 Also, Lily's coffee maker 286 00:07:41,362 --> 00:07:45,200 doesn't, you know, 287 00:07:41,362 --> 00:07:45,200 shock people. 288 00:07:46,701 --> 00:07:48,036 No, it's just... 289 00:07:48,078 --> 00:07:49,495 You gotta admit 290 00:07:48,078 --> 00:07:49,495 that shock, that... 291 00:07:49,537 --> 00:07:51,915 Wakes you up 292 00:07:49,537 --> 00:07:51,915 in the morning. 293 00:07:51,957 --> 00:07:53,750 You know what else 294 00:07:51,957 --> 00:07:53,750 wakes you up in the morning? 295 00:07:53,792 --> 00:07:55,294 Coffee. 296 00:07:56,711 --> 00:07:58,504 That's great. You're right. 297 00:08:00,090 --> 00:08:02,634 Roomies! Ah, I love it. 298 00:08:04,052 --> 00:08:05,304 They're edging me out. 299 00:08:05,345 --> 00:08:06,930 They're totally edging me out. 300 00:08:06,972 --> 00:08:08,473 I didn't believe it, 301 00:08:06,972 --> 00:08:08,473 but you're right. 302 00:08:08,514 --> 00:08:10,809 Told you. That Lily, 303 00:08:08,514 --> 00:08:10,809 she's a shrewd one. 304 00:08:10,850 --> 00:08:13,770 Yeah. She got you 305 00:08:10,850 --> 00:08:13,770 a nice new coffee maker. 306 00:08:13,812 --> 00:08:16,356 How dare she? 307 00:08:16,397 --> 00:08:18,275 It's not just 308 00:08:16,397 --> 00:08:18,275 the coffee maker. 309 00:08:18,317 --> 00:08:20,485 Done. The painting's done. 310 00:08:21,569 --> 00:08:22,654 That is great. 311 00:08:22,695 --> 00:08:24,364 Nice. 312 00:08:24,405 --> 00:08:25,824 Where do you wanna hang it? 313 00:08:25,865 --> 00:08:27,867 I don't know. 314 00:08:27,909 --> 00:08:31,204 Uh, over the piano? 315 00:08:27,909 --> 00:08:31,204 Hmm. 316 00:08:31,246 --> 00:08:33,539 Yeah, that would be 317 00:08:31,246 --> 00:08:33,539 a good place for it. 318 00:08:33,581 --> 00:08:35,375 Too bad the swords are there. 319 00:08:35,416 --> 00:08:37,502 We kind of love those swords. 320 00:08:39,087 --> 00:08:41,464 Well, those swords 321 00:08:39,087 --> 00:08:41,464 have been up there 322 00:08:39,087 --> 00:08:41,464 a long time. 323 00:08:41,506 --> 00:08:44,717 I know, right. 324 00:08:41,506 --> 00:08:44,717 I'd really miss them, too. 325 00:08:44,759 --> 00:08:46,678 So maybe Marshall's room. 326 00:08:47,971 --> 00:08:49,430 Okay. 327 00:08:50,723 --> 00:08:51,975 He was gonna take 328 00:08:50,723 --> 00:08:51,975 the swords down! 329 00:08:52,017 --> 00:08:53,935 Can you believe that? 330 00:08:53,977 --> 00:08:55,895 Ted, why don't you 331 00:08:53,977 --> 00:08:55,895 just talk to him? 332 00:08:53,977 --> 00:08:55,895 He's your best friend. 333 00:08:58,564 --> 00:09:01,360 One of your best friends. 334 00:09:01,401 --> 00:09:04,404 The point is, maybe 335 00:09:01,401 --> 00:09:04,404 it's time for some 336 00:09:01,401 --> 00:09:04,404 healthy communication. 337 00:09:04,445 --> 00:09:06,031 Healthy communication? 338 00:09:06,072 --> 00:09:08,283 That's the worst idea ever! 339 00:09:08,325 --> 00:09:10,369 Look, you held off 340 00:09:08,325 --> 00:09:10,369 their first advance. 341 00:09:08,325 --> 00:09:10,369 That's good. 342 00:09:10,410 --> 00:09:12,329 Now, it's time 343 00:09:10,410 --> 00:09:12,329 to counterstrike. 344 00:09:12,371 --> 00:09:14,289 Yeah, well, 345 00:09:12,371 --> 00:09:14,289 what am I supposed to do? 346 00:09:14,331 --> 00:09:16,124 You gotta mark 347 00:09:14,331 --> 00:09:16,124 your territory. 348 00:09:16,166 --> 00:09:18,543 And I don't mean 349 00:09:16,166 --> 00:09:18,543 missing the toilet. 350 00:09:18,584 --> 00:09:20,962 You gotta do something big. 351 00:09:21,004 --> 00:09:22,339 What, like, buy a new sofa? 352 00:09:23,340 --> 00:09:25,133 Bigger. 353 00:09:25,175 --> 00:09:26,801 Katie's here. 354 00:09:25,175 --> 00:09:26,801 Okay, real quick. 355 00:09:26,843 --> 00:09:28,428 Last night, epiphany. 356 00:09:28,469 --> 00:09:30,263 I realized what 357 00:09:28,469 --> 00:09:30,263 the world of dating needs. 358 00:09:30,305 --> 00:09:32,807 Ready? A lemon law. 359 00:09:32,849 --> 00:09:34,393 A lemon law, like for cars. 360 00:09:34,434 --> 00:09:36,019 Exactly. 361 00:09:36,061 --> 00:09:37,437 From the moment 362 00:09:36,061 --> 00:09:37,437 the date begins, 363 00:09:37,478 --> 00:09:39,231 you have five minutes 364 00:09:37,478 --> 00:09:39,231 to decide 365 00:09:39,272 --> 00:09:41,233 whether you're going to 366 00:09:39,272 --> 00:09:41,233 commit to an entire evening. 367 00:09:41,274 --> 00:09:43,985 And, if you don't, 368 00:09:41,274 --> 00:09:43,985 it's no hard feelings, 369 00:09:41,274 --> 00:09:43,985 just, "Good night. 370 00:09:44,027 --> 00:09:45,445 "Thanks for playing. 371 00:09:44,027 --> 00:09:45,445 See you never." 372 00:09:45,486 --> 00:09:47,239 Huh? Huh? 373 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:49,991 The lemon law. 374 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:49,991 It's gonna be a thing. 375 00:09:50,033 --> 00:09:51,701 Possibly starting right now. 376 00:09:54,204 --> 00:09:55,955 Hi, Katie. Barney. 377 00:09:55,997 --> 00:09:59,209 Hi! It's good to 378 00:09:55,997 --> 00:09:59,209 finally meet you. 379 00:10:02,545 --> 00:10:04,089 Hmm. Yeah. 380 00:10:04,130 --> 00:10:07,467 Katie, you are about to be 381 00:10:04,130 --> 00:10:07,467 a part of history. 382 00:10:13,681 --> 00:10:15,350 Tell your friends. 383 00:10:16,893 --> 00:10:18,186 It's gonna be a thing. 384 00:10:19,562 --> 00:10:21,440 Man, Ted's been acting weird. 385 00:10:21,481 --> 00:10:23,566 He's started 386 00:10:21,481 --> 00:10:23,566 labeling all his food. 387 00:10:23,608 --> 00:10:26,903 He even carved "Ted" 388 00:10:23,608 --> 00:10:26,903 into that block of cheese. 389 00:10:26,945 --> 00:10:29,197 Yeah. Well, now it's Ed's. 390 00:10:31,241 --> 00:10:33,618 I think he's not cool 391 00:10:31,241 --> 00:10:33,618 with me moving in. 392 00:10:33,659 --> 00:10:35,912 No, that's not it. 393 00:10:35,954 --> 00:10:37,580 I mean, you basically 394 00:10:35,954 --> 00:10:37,580 lived here all along. 395 00:10:37,622 --> 00:10:39,332 Ted loves you. 396 00:10:39,374 --> 00:10:41,918 So, what's he PMS-ing about? 397 00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:43,544 I don't know. 398 00:10:43,586 --> 00:10:45,213 But when he's ready 399 00:10:43,586 --> 00:10:45,213 to talk to me about it, 400 00:10:45,255 --> 00:10:46,714 he'll come 401 00:10:45,255 --> 00:10:46,714 and talk to me about it. 402 00:10:46,756 --> 00:10:48,133 Are you kidding? 403 00:10:48,174 --> 00:10:50,093 You guys never 404 00:10:48,174 --> 00:10:50,093 talk about anything. 405 00:10:50,135 --> 00:10:52,595 He'll just let it 406 00:10:50,135 --> 00:10:52,595 fester under the surface 407 00:10:52,637 --> 00:10:55,348 until he does something big 408 00:10:52,637 --> 00:10:55,348 and passive-aggressive. 409 00:10:55,390 --> 00:10:57,058 You clearly don't know Ted. 410 00:10:58,268 --> 00:10:59,685 Delivery for Ted Mosby. 411 00:11:05,650 --> 00:11:08,236 Your English 412 00:11:05,650 --> 00:11:08,236 phone booth arrived! 413 00:11:08,278 --> 00:11:11,531 Oh, awesome! 414 00:11:08,278 --> 00:11:11,531 It's great, right? 415 00:11:11,572 --> 00:11:13,492 Yeah, I guess. 416 00:11:13,533 --> 00:11:15,494 I'm just not sure 417 00:11:13,533 --> 00:11:15,494 if Lily's gonna like it. 418 00:11:16,911 --> 00:11:18,704 Well, I like it. 419 00:11:18,746 --> 00:11:23,793 So, I'm just gonna keep it 420 00:11:18,746 --> 00:11:23,793 right here, if that's cool. 421 00:11:23,835 --> 00:11:26,296 Of course. 422 00:11:23,835 --> 00:11:26,296 I mean, we all live here, 423 00:11:26,338 --> 00:11:29,590 so we should all be 424 00:11:26,338 --> 00:11:29,590 able to have things 425 00:11:26,338 --> 00:11:29,590 the way we want them. 426 00:11:29,632 --> 00:11:30,883 Exactly. 427 00:11:30,925 --> 00:11:33,219 Great. Terrific. 428 00:11:33,261 --> 00:11:35,721 You like the phone booth. 429 00:11:33,261 --> 00:11:35,721 It stays. 430 00:11:35,763 --> 00:11:37,807 I like this painting. 431 00:11:37,849 --> 00:11:42,728 So, I'm just gonna hang it 432 00:11:37,849 --> 00:11:42,728 right here on the wall. 433 00:11:49,610 --> 00:11:51,904 Oh, so it's like that, is it? 434 00:11:54,949 --> 00:11:56,368 Oh, hello, governor. 435 00:11:56,409 --> 00:11:57,743 Oh, it's like that, innit? 436 00:11:56,409 --> 00:11:57,743 Cheerio. 437 00:11:57,785 --> 00:12:00,205 Yeah, it's like that. 438 00:12:01,206 --> 00:12:02,707 I want this apartment! 439 00:12:02,748 --> 00:12:04,209 Well, I want it, too. 440 00:12:05,210 --> 00:12:06,461 You're a jerk! 441 00:12:06,503 --> 00:12:08,754 No, I'm a visionary. 442 00:12:06,503 --> 00:12:08,754 Lemon law! 443 00:12:08,796 --> 00:12:10,340 It's gonna be a thing! 444 00:12:13,426 --> 00:12:15,595 For the record, 445 00:12:13,426 --> 00:12:15,595 your little lemon law 446 00:12:15,636 --> 00:12:19,432 is a symbol of everything 447 00:12:15,636 --> 00:12:19,432 that's wrong with our 448 00:12:15,636 --> 00:12:19,432 no-attention-span society. 449 00:12:19,474 --> 00:12:22,101 No, wrong, 450 00:12:19,474 --> 00:12:22,101 lemon law's awesome. 451 00:12:22,143 --> 00:12:25,438 It takes longer than 452 00:12:22,143 --> 00:12:25,438 five minutes to really 453 00:12:22,143 --> 00:12:25,438 get to know someone. 454 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:27,524 You keep giving up 455 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:27,524 on people so quickly, 456 00:12:27,566 --> 00:12:29,401 you could miss out 457 00:12:27,566 --> 00:12:29,401 on something great. 458 00:12:29,442 --> 00:12:32,028 Okay, you're on a blind date. 459 00:12:32,070 --> 00:12:35,448 Sitting across the table 460 00:12:32,070 --> 00:12:35,448 is that guy. 461 00:12:35,490 --> 00:12:38,284 You really think it'll take 462 00:12:35,490 --> 00:12:38,284 more than five minutes 463 00:12:38,326 --> 00:12:40,703 to realize there will be 464 00:12:38,326 --> 00:12:40,703 no date number two? 465 00:12:40,745 --> 00:12:42,455 Yes, I do. 466 00:12:42,497 --> 00:12:44,457 For all I know, 467 00:12:42,497 --> 00:12:44,457 that guy's my soul mate. 468 00:12:45,417 --> 00:12:46,834 Oh. 469 00:12:46,876 --> 00:12:49,254 Bad move Scherbatsky. 470 00:12:50,255 --> 00:12:52,924 Hi. Have you met Robin? 471 00:12:54,675 --> 00:12:56,386 Hi. 472 00:12:54,675 --> 00:12:56,386 Hi. 473 00:12:58,555 --> 00:13:00,139 All right, Marshall. 474 00:13:00,181 --> 00:13:02,683 We're deciding right now 475 00:13:00,181 --> 00:13:02,683 who gets this apartment. 476 00:13:02,725 --> 00:13:05,728 May lead to an argument, 477 00:13:02,725 --> 00:13:05,728 but we're settling this. 478 00:13:06,687 --> 00:13:08,106 Or we could flip a coin. 479 00:13:08,147 --> 00:13:09,315 Yeah, let's flip a coin. 480 00:13:11,610 --> 00:13:12,902 Flip it. 481 00:13:11,610 --> 00:13:12,902 Okay. 482 00:13:12,944 --> 00:13:14,237 I'm flipping it. Here I go. 483 00:13:14,279 --> 00:13:15,780 Flip it. 484 00:13:14,279 --> 00:13:15,780 Okay, here I go. 485 00:13:14,279 --> 00:13:15,780 I'll flip it. 486 00:13:15,821 --> 00:13:17,323 Flip it. Go ahead. 487 00:13:15,821 --> 00:13:17,323 I'm flipping! 488 00:13:17,365 --> 00:13:19,409 Flip it. 489 00:13:19,451 --> 00:13:21,369 But before I do, 490 00:13:19,451 --> 00:13:21,369 I just want to say something. 491 00:13:21,411 --> 00:13:23,455 You didn't even 492 00:13:21,411 --> 00:13:23,455 wanna move in here 493 00:13:21,411 --> 00:13:23,455 in the first place. 494 00:13:23,496 --> 00:13:25,248 You said a prewar building 495 00:13:23,496 --> 00:13:25,248 was bad for your allergies. 496 00:13:25,290 --> 00:13:26,458 That was five years ago. 497 00:13:26,499 --> 00:13:27,792 Now you can get 498 00:13:26,499 --> 00:13:27,792 prescription-level 499 00:13:27,833 --> 00:13:29,252 antihistamines 500 00:13:27,833 --> 00:13:29,252 over the counter. 501 00:13:29,294 --> 00:13:31,630 Oh, snap. What else you got? 502 00:13:31,671 --> 00:13:34,591 Okay, I'm flipping. 503 00:13:31,671 --> 00:13:34,591 Heads or tails? 504 00:13:34,633 --> 00:13:37,009 You don't need two rooms. 505 00:13:34,633 --> 00:13:37,009 Heads or tails, Marshall? 506 00:13:37,051 --> 00:13:38,719 Like you need two rooms. 507 00:13:38,761 --> 00:13:41,097 We might be starting 508 00:13:38,761 --> 00:13:41,097 a family soon. 509 00:13:38,761 --> 00:13:41,097 Oh, no, you're not! 510 00:13:41,139 --> 00:13:43,224 There's no way you're 511 00:13:41,139 --> 00:13:43,224 having a baby while 512 00:13:41,139 --> 00:13:43,224 you're still in law school. 513 00:13:43,266 --> 00:13:45,393 It's gonna be 514 00:13:43,266 --> 00:13:45,393 at least three years. 515 00:13:43,266 --> 00:13:45,393 It could be sooner. 516 00:13:45,435 --> 00:13:47,728 We're not that careful 517 00:13:45,435 --> 00:13:47,728 with our birth control! 518 00:13:45,435 --> 00:13:47,728 Two, zip. 519 00:13:47,770 --> 00:13:49,397 Oh, come on! 520 00:13:47,770 --> 00:13:49,397 You know damn well, 521 00:13:49,439 --> 00:13:51,524 I move out, 522 00:13:49,439 --> 00:13:51,524 that room's going unused. 523 00:13:51,566 --> 00:13:54,277 Oh, and I suppose 524 00:13:51,566 --> 00:13:54,277 you'll get a new roommate? 525 00:13:51,566 --> 00:13:54,277 Who's it gonna be? Barney? 526 00:13:54,319 --> 00:13:56,529 You know, he cooks naked. 527 00:13:56,571 --> 00:13:59,699 Yeah, well, at least 528 00:13:56,571 --> 00:13:59,699 Barney wouldn't take 529 00:13:56,571 --> 00:13:59,699 the swords down. 530 00:13:59,740 --> 00:14:01,242 We were bros! 531 00:14:01,284 --> 00:14:03,286 These swords 532 00:14:01,284 --> 00:14:03,286 represent our bro-hood. 533 00:14:03,328 --> 00:14:05,746 And you took them down 534 00:14:03,328 --> 00:14:05,746 to make room for your 535 00:14:03,328 --> 00:14:05,746 fiancee's stupid painting? 536 00:14:05,788 --> 00:14:08,958 My fiancee? 537 00:14:05,788 --> 00:14:08,958 Suddenly, she's "my fiancee"? 538 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:10,793 Lily's a part of who I am. 539 00:14:10,835 --> 00:14:13,379 And if you're such a bro, 540 00:14:10,835 --> 00:14:13,379 she's a part of 541 00:14:10,835 --> 00:14:13,379 who you are, too. 542 00:14:13,421 --> 00:14:15,423 She's a bro by extension. 543 00:14:15,465 --> 00:14:18,384 I deserve this apartment, 544 00:14:15,465 --> 00:14:18,384 Marshall. 545 00:14:18,426 --> 00:14:20,011 No more than I do. 546 00:14:21,220 --> 00:14:23,348 Great. So, let's flip for it. 547 00:14:24,890 --> 00:14:25,975 Flip it. 548 00:14:36,653 --> 00:14:39,238 So, is this how we're deciding 549 00:14:36,653 --> 00:14:39,238 who gets the apartment? 550 00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:41,407 I guess so. 551 00:14:41,449 --> 00:14:44,202 How we doing this exactly? 552 00:14:41,449 --> 00:14:44,202 Is this like, to the death? 553 00:14:44,243 --> 00:14:45,745 We should probably 554 00:14:44,243 --> 00:14:45,745 figure that out. 555 00:14:47,455 --> 00:14:49,499 He's okay. 556 00:14:47,455 --> 00:14:49,499 He's okay. He's okay. 557 00:14:50,458 --> 00:14:51,668 Can I observe something? 558 00:14:51,710 --> 00:14:53,044 That this is kind of awesome? 559 00:14:53,085 --> 00:14:54,962 Totally. 560 00:14:55,004 --> 00:14:57,089 I can't believe 561 00:14:55,004 --> 00:14:57,089 we didn't do this before. 562 00:14:55,004 --> 00:14:57,089 I know. 563 00:14:59,384 --> 00:15:00,885 Thank you. 564 00:15:02,387 --> 00:15:03,929 I can't believe this. 565 00:15:03,971 --> 00:15:06,182 I'm sitting here with 566 00:15:03,971 --> 00:15:06,182 a beautiful woman I just met, 567 00:15:06,224 --> 00:15:08,476 eating at 568 00:15:06,224 --> 00:15:08,476 my favorite restaurant. 569 00:15:08,518 --> 00:15:09,977 Sweet. 570 00:15:10,895 --> 00:15:12,689 Well, it's a nice place. 571 00:15:12,731 --> 00:15:15,066 It's good to know 572 00:15:12,731 --> 00:15:15,066 the future has ribs. 573 00:15:15,107 --> 00:15:19,195 In the future, 574 00:15:15,107 --> 00:15:19,195 food will most likely be 575 00:15:15,107 --> 00:15:19,195 served in gel-cap form. 576 00:15:19,237 --> 00:15:21,947 Plus, cows will probably 577 00:15:19,237 --> 00:15:21,947 have died out by then. 578 00:15:22,865 --> 00:15:24,158 Or be our leaders. 579 00:15:26,494 --> 00:15:28,287 Just one second. 580 00:15:28,329 --> 00:15:29,372 Hello? 581 00:15:30,873 --> 00:15:32,208 Time's running out, 582 00:15:30,873 --> 00:15:32,208 Scherbatsky. 583 00:15:32,250 --> 00:15:33,459 Last chance for the lemon law. 584 00:15:33,501 --> 00:15:35,336 Leave me alone. 585 00:15:35,378 --> 00:15:37,422 Four fifty-six. 586 00:15:35,378 --> 00:15:37,422 Four fifty-seven. 587 00:15:35,378 --> 00:15:37,422 Four fifty-eight. 588 00:15:37,463 --> 00:15:39,882 We're only just getting 589 00:15:37,463 --> 00:15:39,882 to know each other. 590 00:15:39,924 --> 00:15:41,801 Say I'm right 591 00:15:39,924 --> 00:15:41,801 and this could all be over. 592 00:15:41,842 --> 00:15:44,387 This could be your call 593 00:15:41,842 --> 00:15:44,387 from the hospital. 594 00:15:44,429 --> 00:15:45,971 Sorry. 595 00:15:46,013 --> 00:15:47,473 Let me guess. 596 00:15:47,515 --> 00:15:50,184 There's been a crazy accident 597 00:15:47,515 --> 00:15:50,184 and you have to go. 598 00:15:50,226 --> 00:15:52,270 No! I would never do that. 599 00:15:52,311 --> 00:15:56,315 I don't wanna go anywhere. 600 00:15:52,311 --> 00:15:56,315 I'm all yours. 601 00:15:56,357 --> 00:15:59,902 Look, if you're a hooker, 602 00:15:56,357 --> 00:15:59,902 I don't have a lot of money. 603 00:16:03,823 --> 00:16:05,157 Oh, that was awesome. 604 00:16:03,823 --> 00:16:05,157 I know. 605 00:16:05,199 --> 00:16:06,909 Do it again. 606 00:16:06,951 --> 00:16:08,994 Okay, but this time, jump up 607 00:16:06,951 --> 00:16:08,994 and I'll swipe your legs. 608 00:16:09,036 --> 00:16:10,162 Oh, yeah. 609 00:16:18,129 --> 00:16:20,298 Look. Here's why 610 00:16:18,129 --> 00:16:20,298 I should get the place. 611 00:16:20,339 --> 00:16:22,801 You and Lily. 612 00:16:20,339 --> 00:16:22,801 You get to be married. 613 00:16:22,842 --> 00:16:27,096 What do I get, right? 614 00:16:22,842 --> 00:16:27,096 I get to be unmarried, 615 00:16:22,842 --> 00:16:27,096 alone, minus two roommates, 616 00:16:27,138 --> 00:16:29,932 and, on top of that, 617 00:16:27,138 --> 00:16:29,932 I have to be homeless! 618 00:16:27,138 --> 00:16:29,932 Does that seem fair? 619 00:16:29,974 --> 00:16:31,392 Oh, boo-freaking-hoo. 620 00:16:31,434 --> 00:16:33,144 What? 621 00:16:33,185 --> 00:16:35,104 Woe is me! 622 00:16:33,185 --> 00:16:35,104 I'm not married yet! 623 00:16:35,146 --> 00:16:36,815 My ovaries are shrinking! 624 00:16:36,856 --> 00:16:38,650 Ted! If you wanted 625 00:16:36,856 --> 00:16:38,650 to be married by now, 626 00:16:38,691 --> 00:16:40,192 you would be, 627 00:16:38,691 --> 00:16:40,192 but you're not. 628 00:16:40,234 --> 00:16:43,195 And you know why? 629 00:16:40,234 --> 00:16:43,195 Because you're 630 00:16:40,234 --> 00:16:43,195 irrationally picky, 631 00:16:43,237 --> 00:16:46,198 you're easily distracted, 632 00:16:43,237 --> 00:16:46,198 and you're utterly anhedonic. 633 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:47,908 "Anhedonic"? 634 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:47,908 Anhedonic. 635 00:16:47,950 --> 00:16:49,368 It means you can't 636 00:16:47,950 --> 00:16:49,368 enjoy anything. 637 00:16:49,410 --> 00:16:51,537 The hell I can't. 638 00:16:49,410 --> 00:16:51,537 I'm enjoying this. 639 00:16:51,579 --> 00:16:53,164 I know. This rules! 640 00:16:57,543 --> 00:16:59,504 Hey, I'm sorry 641 00:16:57,543 --> 00:16:59,504 I took the swords down. 642 00:16:59,545 --> 00:17:01,130 Dude, that's okay! 643 00:17:01,172 --> 00:17:03,215 It led to this totally 644 00:17:01,172 --> 00:17:03,215 rad sword fight, didn't it? 645 00:17:03,257 --> 00:17:04,634 Yeah, it did. 646 00:17:08,304 --> 00:17:10,222 You remember when we 647 00:17:08,304 --> 00:17:10,222 first got these swords? 648 00:17:10,264 --> 00:17:12,057 It was the day we moved in. 649 00:17:12,099 --> 00:17:13,726 Congratulations, Marshall. 650 00:17:13,768 --> 00:17:15,687 We live in an apartment 651 00:17:13,768 --> 00:17:15,687 with swords on the wall. 652 00:17:15,728 --> 00:17:18,898 List of life-long dreams, 653 00:17:15,728 --> 00:17:18,898 you're now half as long. 654 00:17:18,939 --> 00:17:21,651 Crap. I'm missing 655 00:17:18,939 --> 00:17:21,651 one of those screws 656 00:17:18,939 --> 00:17:21,651 for this table. 657 00:17:21,693 --> 00:17:24,362 Well, just use this wood glue. 658 00:17:21,693 --> 00:17:24,362 It'll hold. 659 00:17:25,404 --> 00:17:26,823 Yeah! 660 00:17:36,582 --> 00:17:39,126 Oh, God! I'll be right there. 661 00:17:39,168 --> 00:17:41,212 Kevin, I'm so sorry. 662 00:17:39,168 --> 00:17:41,212 I have to go. 663 00:17:41,253 --> 00:17:44,173 My friend's been 664 00:17:41,253 --> 00:17:44,173 stabbed with a sword. 665 00:17:47,510 --> 00:17:50,471 Klingon insult. 666 00:17:47,510 --> 00:17:50,471 You have no honor. 667 00:17:50,513 --> 00:17:51,890 You know, 668 00:17:50,513 --> 00:17:51,890 if you felt this way, 669 00:17:51,931 --> 00:17:53,349 you could have 670 00:17:51,931 --> 00:17:53,349 just been up front. 671 00:17:53,391 --> 00:17:56,310 No, I swear that was 672 00:17:53,391 --> 00:17:56,310 a real call. I just... 673 00:17:56,352 --> 00:17:57,770 Oh, forget it. 674 00:18:00,981 --> 00:18:05,403 I stabbed Lily. 675 00:18:00,981 --> 00:18:05,403 I stabbed my fiancee. 676 00:18:06,905 --> 00:18:08,614 Come on, Marshall. 677 00:18:08,656 --> 00:18:10,533 Do you really think 678 00:18:08,656 --> 00:18:10,533 she's still your fiancee? 679 00:18:12,117 --> 00:18:14,286 I'm kidding. 680 00:18:14,328 --> 00:18:17,916 Hey, I think you guys 681 00:18:14,328 --> 00:18:17,916 should have the apartment. 682 00:18:17,957 --> 00:18:20,668 But you fought 683 00:18:17,957 --> 00:18:20,668 so bravely for it. 684 00:18:20,710 --> 00:18:22,294 I wasn't fighting 685 00:18:20,710 --> 00:18:22,294 for the apartment. 686 00:18:22,336 --> 00:18:24,171 I was fighting for... 687 00:18:24,213 --> 00:18:25,381 I don't know. 688 00:18:25,423 --> 00:18:28,342 For everything 689 00:18:25,423 --> 00:18:28,342 to stay the way it is. 690 00:18:28,384 --> 00:18:30,803 But I'm not gonna 691 00:18:28,384 --> 00:18:30,803 get that, so... 692 00:18:30,845 --> 00:18:33,347 Seriously, take the place. 693 00:18:30,845 --> 00:18:33,347 It's yours. 694 00:18:33,389 --> 00:18:35,266 Is she okay? 695 00:18:35,307 --> 00:18:36,851 Well, they're just 696 00:18:35,307 --> 00:18:36,851 patching her up. 697 00:18:35,307 --> 00:18:36,851 She's gonna be fine. 698 00:18:36,893 --> 00:18:38,310 So, get this. 699 00:18:38,352 --> 00:18:39,645 I was on a date 700 00:18:38,352 --> 00:18:39,645 with this girl Jackie. 701 00:18:40,980 --> 00:18:42,815 What? You said she's fine. 702 00:18:42,857 --> 00:18:45,067 So, anyway, I was on a date 703 00:18:42,857 --> 00:18:45,067 with this girl Jackie. 704 00:18:45,109 --> 00:18:46,360 Wow, Jackie. 705 00:18:46,402 --> 00:18:48,654 You make a really 706 00:18:46,402 --> 00:18:48,654 great first impression. 707 00:18:48,696 --> 00:18:54,368 I have a feeling that 708 00:18:48,696 --> 00:18:54,368 tonight you might end up 709 00:18:48,696 --> 00:18:54,368 being Jackie... oh. 710 00:18:55,954 --> 00:18:57,830 Yeah, I'm sorry. 711 00:18:57,872 --> 00:18:59,457 I'm gonna have 712 00:18:57,872 --> 00:18:59,457 to lemon-law you. 713 00:19:01,083 --> 00:19:02,961 It's out there. It's a thing! 714 00:19:03,002 --> 00:19:04,921 The lemon law is a thing! 715 00:19:04,963 --> 00:19:07,339 Damn. I should've 716 00:19:04,963 --> 00:19:07,339 called it Barney's law. 717 00:19:07,381 --> 00:19:09,634 But, you totally got... 718 00:19:07,381 --> 00:19:09,634 Just let him have this one. 719 00:19:11,928 --> 00:19:13,220 All set. 720 00:19:13,262 --> 00:19:15,097 She said she'd like 721 00:19:13,262 --> 00:19:15,097 to see the knights 722 00:19:15,139 --> 00:19:17,224 of the poorly-constructed 723 00:19:15,139 --> 00:19:17,224 round table. 724 00:19:19,226 --> 00:19:20,478 That's us. 725 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:24,941 A sword fight? 726 00:19:24,983 --> 00:19:27,109 Sorry, Lily. 727 00:19:24,983 --> 00:19:27,109 Sorry, Lily. 728 00:19:27,151 --> 00:19:30,279 On Monday, 729 00:19:27,151 --> 00:19:30,279 I'm gonna have to tell 730 00:19:27,151 --> 00:19:30,279 my kindergarten class, 731 00:19:30,321 --> 00:19:32,490 who I teach not to 732 00:19:30,321 --> 00:19:32,490 run with scissors, 733 00:19:32,531 --> 00:19:37,411 that my fiance ran me through 734 00:19:32,531 --> 00:19:37,411 with a fricking broadsword! 735 00:19:37,453 --> 00:19:41,290 Well, just to be fair, 736 00:19:37,453 --> 00:19:41,290 it didn't go 737 00:19:37,453 --> 00:19:41,290 all the way through. 738 00:19:41,332 --> 00:19:46,045 I'm sorry. Is this 739 00:19:41,332 --> 00:19:46,045 a discussion of the degree 740 00:19:41,332 --> 00:19:46,045 to which you stabbed me? 741 00:19:47,546 --> 00:19:50,424 You're right. I'm sorry. 742 00:19:50,466 --> 00:19:53,385 We were fighting to see 743 00:19:50,466 --> 00:19:53,385 who gets the apartment. 744 00:19:53,427 --> 00:19:54,887 And I won. 745 00:19:54,929 --> 00:19:57,682 Uh, you didn't win. 746 00:19:54,929 --> 00:19:57,682 I gave it to you. 747 00:19:57,723 --> 00:19:59,600 You know what, 748 00:19:57,723 --> 00:19:59,600 if I had tried... 749 00:19:57,723 --> 00:19:59,600 Okay, wait, wait, wait! 750 00:19:59,642 --> 00:20:01,853 I don't want that apartment! 751 00:20:01,894 --> 00:20:03,813 It's a boy apartment. 752 00:20:03,855 --> 00:20:09,276 It's full of swords 753 00:20:03,855 --> 00:20:09,276 and video games and 754 00:20:03,855 --> 00:20:09,276 kind of smells like dude. 755 00:20:12,655 --> 00:20:16,241 I mean, it's fine for now, 756 00:20:12,655 --> 00:20:16,241 but when we get married, 757 00:20:16,283 --> 00:20:18,703 I wanna start 758 00:20:16,283 --> 00:20:18,703 a new life with you. 759 00:20:18,744 --> 00:20:20,412 In a new place. 760 00:20:22,206 --> 00:20:24,333 Gonna miss the old place. 761 00:20:24,375 --> 00:20:27,127 I will, too. 762 00:20:27,169 --> 00:20:28,880 We're not getting 763 00:20:27,169 --> 00:20:28,880 married for, like, a year. 764 00:20:28,921 --> 00:20:30,882 Yeah, that's Future 765 00:20:28,921 --> 00:20:30,882 Marshall's problem. 766 00:20:30,923 --> 00:20:32,216 Let that guy deal with it. 767 00:20:32,257 --> 00:20:34,426 Totally. 768 00:20:34,468 --> 00:20:37,763 Maybe it's the massive 769 00:20:34,468 --> 00:20:37,763 blood loss talking, 770 00:20:34,468 --> 00:20:37,763 but I'm starving. 771 00:20:38,848 --> 00:20:40,391 Let's go get some dinner. 772 00:20:40,432 --> 00:20:43,477 I know just the place. 773 00:20:43,519 --> 00:20:46,188 A Chinese restaurant. 774 00:20:43,519 --> 00:20:46,188 I still don't believe it. 775 00:20:46,230 --> 00:20:47,815 I told you. 776 00:20:47,857 --> 00:20:49,233 Okay, a toast. 777 00:20:50,234 --> 00:20:52,778 Life is full of changes. 778 00:20:52,820 --> 00:20:54,279 One day you have an apartment, 779 00:20:54,321 --> 00:20:55,823 the next day 780 00:20:54,321 --> 00:20:55,823 it's a House of Dumplings. 781 00:20:57,199 --> 00:20:59,326 But the important 782 00:20:57,199 --> 00:20:59,326 stuff doesn't change. 783 00:20:59,368 --> 00:21:00,703 To the important stuff. 784 00:21:00,745 --> 00:21:01,746 Here, here. 785 00:21:00,745 --> 00:21:01,746 Cheers. 786 00:21:01,787 --> 00:21:03,748 Well said. 787 00:21:01,787 --> 00:21:03,748 Cheers. 788 00:21:03,789 --> 00:21:05,124 To the lemon law. 789 00:21:07,251 --> 00:21:09,128 Self click. 790 00:21:09,169 --> 00:21:11,422 And, by the way, 791 00:21:09,169 --> 00:21:11,422 I bought these glasses. 792 00:21:11,463 --> 00:21:13,298 Bought them at Ikea. 793 00:21:13,340 --> 00:21:15,676 These are my glasses! 794 00:21:15,718 --> 00:21:18,637 I love this song. 795 00:21:15,718 --> 00:21:18,637 I haven't heard 796 00:21:15,718 --> 00:21:18,637 this in forever. 797 00:21:18,679 --> 00:21:20,222 I'm pretty sure 798 00:21:18,679 --> 00:21:20,222 this is a mix tape 799 00:21:20,264 --> 00:21:21,724 you made me in 800 00:21:20,264 --> 00:21:21,724 sophomore year. 801 00:21:21,766 --> 00:21:23,350 Yeah, right. 802 00:21:23,392 --> 00:21:28,064 Lily, your apartment makes 803 00:21:23,392 --> 00:21:28,064 the best Shanghai dumplings. 804 00:21:28,106 --> 00:21:29,815 I love you, Lily. 805 00:21:29,857 --> 00:21:31,025 Happy Valentine's Day, 1998.