1 00:00:14,135 --> 00:00:16,932 Kids, 2 00:00:14,135 --> 00:00:16,932 this is a Thanksgiving story. 3 00:00:16,974 --> 00:00:20,231 Thanksgiving in New York 4 00:00:16,974 --> 00:00:20,231 is a wonderful time. 5 00:00:20,273 --> 00:00:22,151 It's a time for 6 00:00:20,273 --> 00:00:22,151 giving of yourself, 7 00:00:22,193 --> 00:00:24,322 for thinking of 8 00:00:22,193 --> 00:00:24,322 your fellow man. 9 00:00:24,364 --> 00:00:27,913 A time 10 00:00:24,364 --> 00:00:27,913 when the unforgiving city 11 00:00:24,364 --> 00:00:27,913 becomes a little kinder. 12 00:00:27,954 --> 00:00:30,334 Well, I just ralphed. 13 00:00:30,376 --> 00:00:32,171 How much did you guys 14 00:00:30,376 --> 00:00:32,171 drink last night? 15 00:00:32,213 --> 00:00:33,549 Not how much, what. 16 00:00:34,509 --> 00:00:36,305 The Thanks-tini, 17 00:00:36,346 --> 00:00:39,436 a fun and delicious 18 00:00:36,346 --> 00:00:39,436 new novelty drink I invented. 19 00:00:39,477 --> 00:00:43,861 Cranberry juice, 20 00:00:39,477 --> 00:00:43,861 potato vodka, 21 00:00:39,477 --> 00:00:43,861 and a bouillon cube. 22 00:00:43,903 --> 00:00:46,784 Tastes just like 23 00:00:43,903 --> 00:00:46,784 a turkey dinner. 24 00:00:46,825 --> 00:00:51,084 Mmm. It's like 25 00:00:46,825 --> 00:00:51,084 Thanksgiving in my mouth. 26 00:00:51,126 --> 00:00:53,547 You want a good holiday drink? 27 00:00:51,126 --> 00:00:53,547 Try his Kwanzaa-politan. 28 00:00:55,593 --> 00:00:57,306 The shuttle's here! 29 00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:01,104 He hasn't been back home 30 00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:01,104 to Minnesota since Christmas. 31 00:01:01,146 --> 00:01:02,357 He's a little excited. 32 00:01:02,398 --> 00:01:03,985 Baby, we're 33 00:01:02,398 --> 00:01:03,985 holding up the shuttle. 34 00:01:04,026 --> 00:01:05,237 Do you have 35 00:01:04,026 --> 00:01:05,237 everything you need? 36 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:06,573 Toothbrush, pajamas, 37 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:06,573 underpants? 38 00:01:06,615 --> 00:01:07,951 Underpants. 39 00:01:10,038 --> 00:01:13,253 So, Lil, Marshall's family. 40 00:01:13,296 --> 00:01:16,385 Whole weekend with 41 00:01:13,296 --> 00:01:16,385 the future in-laws. 42 00:01:13,296 --> 00:01:16,385 You excited? 43 00:01:16,426 --> 00:01:18,389 Yeah, no, it'll be fun. 44 00:01:18,430 --> 00:01:20,434 Lily, you just said, 45 00:01:18,430 --> 00:01:20,434 "Yeah, no." 46 00:01:21,395 --> 00:01:22,981 Did I? 47 00:01:23,023 --> 00:01:25,444 No, I... I love 48 00:01:23,023 --> 00:01:25,444 Marshall's family. 49 00:01:25,486 --> 00:01:26,989 But, yeah, no, 50 00:01:25,486 --> 00:01:26,989 it'll be great. 51 00:01:27,031 --> 00:01:28,241 You just did it again. 52 00:01:28,284 --> 00:01:29,703 Yeah, no, shut up. 53 00:01:31,332 --> 00:01:33,336 Wait, so you're not 54 00:01:31,332 --> 00:01:33,336 going home for Thanksgiving? 55 00:01:33,378 --> 00:01:34,838 No, I have to 56 00:01:33,378 --> 00:01:34,838 work on Friday. You? 57 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:36,132 I'm Canadian, remember? 58 00:01:36,174 --> 00:01:38,011 We celebrate 59 00:01:36,174 --> 00:01:38,011 Thanksgiving in October. 60 00:01:38,053 --> 00:01:39,806 Oh, right, I forgot. 61 00:01:39,848 --> 00:01:43,272 You guys are weird. 62 00:01:39,848 --> 00:01:43,272 You pronounce the word 63 00:01:39,848 --> 00:01:43,272 "out,"oute." 64 00:01:43,314 --> 00:01:45,234 You guys are 65 00:01:43,314 --> 00:01:45,234 the world's leader 66 00:01:43,314 --> 00:01:45,234 in handgun violence, 67 00:01:45,276 --> 00:01:47,280 your healthcare system 68 00:01:45,276 --> 00:01:47,280 is bankrupt, 69 00:01:47,322 --> 00:01:50,619 and your country is 70 00:01:47,322 --> 00:01:50,619 deeply divided on almost 71 00:01:47,322 --> 00:01:50,619 every important issue. 72 00:01:52,206 --> 00:01:54,336 Your cops are called Mounties. 73 00:01:57,049 --> 00:01:58,969 So, probably hanging out 74 00:01:57,049 --> 00:01:58,969 with Barney, then? 75 00:01:59,011 --> 00:02:01,350 No. Barney's got his own 76 00:01:59,011 --> 00:02:01,350 Thanksgiving tradition. 77 00:02:01,392 --> 00:02:04,105 Thanksgiving in a strip club. 78 00:02:01,392 --> 00:02:04,105 Who's in? 79 00:02:04,146 --> 00:02:07,362 The Lusty Leopard has 80 00:02:04,146 --> 00:02:07,362 a surprisingly good 81 00:02:04,146 --> 00:02:07,362 Thanksgiving buffet. 82 00:02:07,404 --> 00:02:10,242 Plus, they do this thing. 83 00:02:07,404 --> 00:02:10,242 Heather dresses up 84 00:02:07,404 --> 00:02:10,242 as a Pilgrim, 85 00:02:10,285 --> 00:02:12,372 and Misty dresses up 86 00:02:10,285 --> 00:02:12,372 as an Indian, 87 00:02:12,414 --> 00:02:15,252 and they share 88 00:02:12,414 --> 00:02:15,252 a meal together. 89 00:02:15,295 --> 00:02:17,340 Oh, Barney. 90 00:02:17,382 --> 00:02:19,594 I'm sorry. Native American. 91 00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:23,894 I think I'm gonna go 92 00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:23,894 to a homeless shelter, 93 00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:23,894 serve food. 94 00:02:23,936 --> 00:02:26,065 That's awesome. 95 00:02:23,936 --> 00:02:26,065 Yeah. 96 00:02:26,107 --> 00:02:29,323 I thought I'd just 97 00:02:26,107 --> 00:02:29,323 spend the day giving back, 98 00:02:26,107 --> 00:02:29,323 you know, doing some good. 99 00:02:29,364 --> 00:02:30,408 Canceling out Barney. 100 00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:31,701 Exactly. 101 00:02:31,743 --> 00:02:33,121 Where are all my underpants? 102 00:02:33,163 --> 00:02:34,291 Did you check your suitcase? 103 00:02:34,333 --> 00:02:35,418 No. 104 00:02:36,753 --> 00:02:38,214 Let's go. 105 00:02:38,256 --> 00:02:40,218 And go they went. 106 00:02:40,260 --> 00:02:44,018 All the way to 107 00:02:40,260 --> 00:02:44,018 St. Cloud, Minnesota, 108 00:02:40,260 --> 00:02:44,018 Marshall's hometown. 109 00:02:44,059 --> 00:02:46,731 And as Lily stepped into 110 00:02:44,059 --> 00:02:46,731 her fiance's boyhood home, 111 00:02:46,773 --> 00:02:48,486 she received a big welcome. 112 00:02:48,528 --> 00:02:50,323 Hello! We're home! 113 00:02:52,910 --> 00:02:55,040 A very big welcome. 114 00:02:55,081 --> 00:02:58,589 You see, at 6-foot-4, 115 00:02:55,081 --> 00:02:58,589 Marshall was the runt 116 00:02:55,081 --> 00:02:58,589 of the Eriksen clan. 117 00:02:58,630 --> 00:02:59,674 Great to see you. 118 00:02:59,716 --> 00:03:01,512 Hey, you, too. 119 00:03:01,554 --> 00:03:05,311 Wow, I forgot 120 00:03:01,554 --> 00:03:05,311 how tall you guys are. 121 00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:06,688 Where's my almost 122 00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:06,688 daughter-in-law? 123 00:03:06,730 --> 00:03:08,442 Here I am! 124 00:03:06,730 --> 00:03:08,442 Over here! 125 00:03:11,155 --> 00:03:13,411 Well, you got yourself 126 00:03:11,155 --> 00:03:13,411 a great little 127 00:03:11,155 --> 00:03:13,411 bride here, Son. 128 00:03:13,452 --> 00:03:14,704 Yeah. 129 00:03:13,452 --> 00:03:14,704 That's great. 130 00:03:14,746 --> 00:03:17,000 All right, now, 131 00:03:14,746 --> 00:03:17,000 no farting around. 132 00:03:17,042 --> 00:03:19,590 Put your skates 133 00:03:17,042 --> 00:03:19,590 and your pads on, boys. 134 00:03:17,042 --> 00:03:19,590 Game on in five minutes. 135 00:03:19,631 --> 00:03:21,133 Yeah. All right. 136 00:03:21,175 --> 00:03:22,429 Oh, you gonna play hockey? 137 00:03:22,470 --> 00:03:23,639 Hike, hut! 138 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:25,309 With a basketball? 139 00:03:25,351 --> 00:03:27,187 Well, it's a combination 140 00:03:25,351 --> 00:03:27,187 of the two. 141 00:03:27,229 --> 00:03:28,649 We call it "bask-ice-ball." 142 00:03:28,690 --> 00:03:30,403 We invented it. 143 00:03:30,445 --> 00:03:32,616 It's the most dangerous 144 00:03:30,445 --> 00:03:32,616 and awesome sport 145 00:03:30,445 --> 00:03:32,616 in the world. 146 00:03:32,657 --> 00:03:36,582 Bask-ice-ball? 147 00:03:32,657 --> 00:03:36,582 Not ice-ket-ball? 148 00:03:36,624 --> 00:03:38,251 "Ice-ket-ball"? 149 00:03:39,253 --> 00:03:40,381 Just sounds weird. 150 00:03:40,423 --> 00:03:41,758 Yeah. 151 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:44,347 It's bask-ice-ball, okay? 152 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:44,347 And I'm the best. 153 00:03:44,389 --> 00:03:46,393 Oh, you wish. 154 00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:49,357 Oh, well, 155 00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:49,357 maybe that's just 'cause 156 00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:49,357 you haven't seen me play. 157 00:03:51,487 --> 00:03:54,199 I don't know, honey. 158 00:03:51,487 --> 00:03:54,199 It's not really 159 00:03:51,487 --> 00:03:54,199 a sport for a girl. 160 00:03:54,241 --> 00:03:56,664 Well, that's funny, 161 00:03:54,241 --> 00:03:56,664 'cause your brother 162 00:03:54,241 --> 00:03:56,664 throws like a girl. 163 00:03:59,461 --> 00:04:00,546 Marcus. 164 00:04:02,300 --> 00:04:03,552 This is gonna be great. 165 00:04:03,594 --> 00:04:05,598 I know. 166 00:04:03,594 --> 00:04:05,598 I'm so psyched we did this. 167 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:07,225 Man, look at all these people. 168 00:04:07,267 --> 00:04:09,648 Giving up their Thanksgiving 169 00:04:07,267 --> 00:04:09,648 to help their fellow man. 170 00:04:09,690 --> 00:04:11,985 These have gotta be 171 00:04:09,690 --> 00:04:11,985 the best people in New York. 172 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:15,618 Excuse me, guys, 173 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:15,618 coming through. 174 00:04:15,660 --> 00:04:17,120 Barney? 175 00:04:17,162 --> 00:04:18,749 Well, hi, guys. 176 00:04:18,790 --> 00:04:19,834 What are you doing here? 177 00:04:19,876 --> 00:04:21,547 Oh, just the Lord's work. 178 00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:24,259 But you're Satan. 179 00:04:24,302 --> 00:04:26,013 Guys, okay, look. 180 00:04:26,055 --> 00:04:28,519 I don't advertise it, 181 00:04:26,055 --> 00:04:28,519 but I volunteer here. 182 00:04:28,561 --> 00:04:31,441 I think it's important 183 00:04:28,561 --> 00:04:31,441 to help the less fortunate. 184 00:04:31,483 --> 00:04:35,114 I'm the Angelina Jolie 185 00:04:31,483 --> 00:04:35,114 of incredibly hot guys. 186 00:04:35,156 --> 00:04:38,037 This is a joke, right? 187 00:04:35,156 --> 00:04:38,037 You don't actually 188 00:04:35,156 --> 00:04:38,037 volunteer here? 189 00:04:38,079 --> 00:04:39,457 Barney, 190 00:04:38,079 --> 00:04:39,457 we need you out front. 191 00:04:39,499 --> 00:04:41,168 There is a logjam 192 00:04:39,499 --> 00:04:41,168 on the stuffing line. 193 00:04:41,210 --> 00:04:43,298 Can you show them 194 00:04:41,210 --> 00:04:43,298 how it's done? 195 00:04:41,210 --> 00:04:43,298 I'm on it. 196 00:04:43,340 --> 00:04:45,344 Wait, so, this is real? 197 00:04:43,340 --> 00:04:45,344 Barney does this? 198 00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:46,888 Every Sunday, all year long. 199 00:04:46,930 --> 00:04:48,475 He's our best volunteer. 200 00:04:48,517 --> 00:04:51,230 That's 'cause I was trained 201 00:04:48,517 --> 00:04:51,230 by the best, Kendall. 202 00:04:51,273 --> 00:04:54,320 Anyway, uh, we're psyched 203 00:04:51,273 --> 00:04:54,320 to be here, Kendall. 204 00:04:51,273 --> 00:04:54,320 What do you need us to do? 205 00:04:54,362 --> 00:04:56,156 Uh, go home, we're full. 206 00:04:56,198 --> 00:04:57,452 What? 207 00:04:57,493 --> 00:04:59,581 We're volunteers, 208 00:04:57,493 --> 00:04:59,581 we're unpaid help. 209 00:04:59,623 --> 00:05:01,376 Can you ever really have 210 00:04:59,623 --> 00:05:01,376 enough unpaid help? 211 00:05:01,418 --> 00:05:03,380 Uh, on the biggest 212 00:05:01,418 --> 00:05:03,380 volunteer day of the year? 213 00:05:03,422 --> 00:05:05,049 Yeah, you can. 214 00:05:05,091 --> 00:05:06,553 Come on, 215 00:05:05,091 --> 00:05:06,553 we just wanna help out. 216 00:05:06,595 --> 00:05:08,432 Kendall. They're cool. 217 00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:12,188 Fine. But I'm not 218 00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:12,188 promising anything. 219 00:05:12,230 --> 00:05:14,444 Wait here, 220 00:05:12,230 --> 00:05:14,444 we'll let you know 221 00:05:12,230 --> 00:05:14,444 if we need you. 222 00:05:16,071 --> 00:05:17,867 Okay, well, I better 223 00:05:16,071 --> 00:05:17,867 get back out there. 224 00:05:17,908 --> 00:05:19,454 There's a lot of 225 00:05:17,908 --> 00:05:19,454 food to give out. 226 00:05:19,496 --> 00:05:21,081 And a lot of smiles. 227 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:25,508 Ooh, I almost forgot. 228 00:05:26,677 --> 00:05:27,970 I know it's early, 229 00:05:28,012 --> 00:05:32,355 but you are a future 230 00:05:28,012 --> 00:05:32,355 Mrs. Eriksen. 231 00:05:32,396 --> 00:05:35,277 Oh, thank you. 232 00:05:35,319 --> 00:05:38,032 Well, it'll go great 233 00:05:35,319 --> 00:05:38,032 with my... 234 00:05:38,073 --> 00:05:39,285 I just love it. 235 00:05:41,079 --> 00:05:43,209 Okay, Lily, 236 00:05:41,079 --> 00:05:43,209 we're putting you 237 00:05:41,079 --> 00:05:43,209 on salad duty. 238 00:05:43,250 --> 00:05:46,341 Oh, I make this great 239 00:05:43,250 --> 00:05:46,341 frisee and endive salad 240 00:05:46,383 --> 00:05:49,430 with a coriander 241 00:05:46,383 --> 00:05:49,430 lime vinaigrette. 242 00:05:49,472 --> 00:05:52,854 But this is 243 00:05:49,472 --> 00:05:52,854 an American holiday. 244 00:05:52,896 --> 00:05:57,237 Lily, now that 245 00:05:52,896 --> 00:05:57,237 you're going to be 246 00:05:52,896 --> 00:05:57,237 a Mrs. Eriksen, 247 00:05:57,279 --> 00:06:01,078 I'm going to let you in 248 00:05:57,279 --> 00:06:01,078 on a secret recipe: 249 00:06:01,119 --> 00:06:04,669 The Eriksen Family 250 00:06:01,119 --> 00:06:04,669 Seven Layer Salad. 251 00:06:05,671 --> 00:06:07,425 Seven layer salad? 252 00:06:09,763 --> 00:06:12,602 Six cups of mayonnaise? 253 00:06:09,763 --> 00:06:12,602 That can't be right. 254 00:06:12,643 --> 00:06:14,689 Oh, no, dear. Sixteen cups. 255 00:06:15,691 --> 00:06:17,235 Mayo's in that cabinet. 256 00:06:20,284 --> 00:06:24,249 Oh, my God, there is some 257 00:06:20,284 --> 00:06:24,249 serious bask-ice-ball 258 00:06:20,284 --> 00:06:24,249 going on out there. 259 00:06:24,292 --> 00:06:25,878 Dad totally nailed 260 00:06:24,292 --> 00:06:25,878 Marcus in the face 261 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:27,465 with a snowball, 262 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:27,465 which is a foul, 263 00:06:27,506 --> 00:06:29,636 'cause you only get 264 00:06:27,506 --> 00:06:29,636 one snowball per possession, 265 00:06:29,677 --> 00:06:32,516 so I nailed him in 266 00:06:29,677 --> 00:06:32,516 the shin with my skate, 267 00:06:29,677 --> 00:06:32,516 and then I totally dunked it. 268 00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:34,395 Yeah, you were sitting pretty, 269 00:06:34,437 --> 00:06:36,023 till I whacked you 270 00:06:34,437 --> 00:06:36,023 with that mallet. 271 00:06:36,106 --> 00:06:38,193 Hey, gorgeous. 272 00:06:38,235 --> 00:06:39,948 You having fun? 273 00:06:39,990 --> 00:06:42,118 Yeah, 274 00:06:39,990 --> 00:06:42,118 but, but I kind of miss you. 275 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:44,122 Could you stay in here 276 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:44,122 for a little bit? 277 00:06:44,164 --> 00:06:46,294 Yeah, yeah, yeah, no problem. 278 00:06:44,164 --> 00:06:46,294 It's halftime. 279 00:06:46,336 --> 00:06:49,257 Oh, halftime's over. 280 00:06:46,336 --> 00:06:49,257 Get your butts out here. 281 00:06:46,336 --> 00:06:49,257 Come on. 282 00:06:49,300 --> 00:06:52,306 And I hope you like 283 00:06:49,300 --> 00:06:52,306 the taste of skate, dorko. 284 00:06:54,059 --> 00:06:55,354 Go. 285 00:06:55,395 --> 00:06:56,648 Thanks, baby. 286 00:06:58,318 --> 00:06:59,529 Isn't this great? 287 00:06:59,570 --> 00:07:00,739 Can't you see why everybody 288 00:07:00,781 --> 00:07:03,160 from my high school 289 00:07:00,781 --> 00:07:03,160 stays in this town? 290 00:07:03,202 --> 00:07:06,166 Hey, Marvin! 291 00:07:03,202 --> 00:07:06,166 You're the dorko, dorko! 292 00:07:11,511 --> 00:07:13,974 Man, 293 00:07:11,511 --> 00:07:13,974 it's amazing out there. 294 00:07:14,016 --> 00:07:18,734 I've done so much good today, 295 00:07:14,016 --> 00:07:18,734 I've got, like, a soul boner. 296 00:07:18,775 --> 00:07:21,113 Man, the way the faces of 297 00:07:18,775 --> 00:07:21,113 the less fortunate light up 298 00:07:21,154 --> 00:07:22,909 when you give them 299 00:07:21,154 --> 00:07:22,909 a hot, nutritious meal, 300 00:07:22,950 --> 00:07:24,913 is there a better 301 00:07:22,950 --> 00:07:24,913 feeling on earth? 302 00:07:24,954 --> 00:07:26,833 Yesterday, you said 303 00:07:24,954 --> 00:07:26,833 the best feeling on earth 304 00:07:26,875 --> 00:07:28,712 was getting your toes sucked. 305 00:07:28,754 --> 00:07:31,634 Then you requested 306 00:07:28,754 --> 00:07:31,634 a high-five, with your foot. 307 00:07:33,137 --> 00:07:35,726 Hey, Barn, what do you say 308 00:07:33,137 --> 00:07:35,726 you let us sub in for you 309 00:07:35,768 --> 00:07:37,521 scoop stuffing 310 00:07:35,768 --> 00:07:37,521 for a little bit? 311 00:07:37,563 --> 00:07:39,984 You wanna scoop 312 00:07:37,563 --> 00:07:39,984 stuffing your first day out? 313 00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:42,196 Hello, NFL, can I be 314 00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:42,196 quarterback this Sunday? 315 00:07:42,238 --> 00:07:43,742 Dude. 316 00:07:46,748 --> 00:07:50,589 Okay, I finished 317 00:07:46,748 --> 00:07:50,589 the Gummi Bear layer 318 00:07:46,748 --> 00:07:50,589 of the salad. 319 00:07:50,631 --> 00:07:52,008 What's next? 320 00:07:53,094 --> 00:07:55,390 Potato chips, of course. 321 00:07:55,432 --> 00:07:59,732 So, Lily, when are you 322 00:07:55,432 --> 00:07:59,732 gonna start thinking 323 00:07:55,432 --> 00:07:59,732 about having a baby? 324 00:07:59,774 --> 00:08:03,949 Baby? Uh, you know, 325 00:07:59,774 --> 00:08:03,949 I... I hadn't really 326 00:07:59,774 --> 00:08:03,949 thought about it. 327 00:08:03,991 --> 00:08:05,535 At all. 328 00:08:05,577 --> 00:08:07,122 Actually, 329 00:08:05,577 --> 00:08:07,122 Aunt Lily was lying. 330 00:08:07,164 --> 00:08:08,875 It was all she'd 331 00:08:07,164 --> 00:08:08,875 been thinking about. 332 00:08:08,917 --> 00:08:10,712 You see, 333 00:08:08,917 --> 00:08:10,712 remember when she said... 334 00:08:10,754 --> 00:08:13,092 Well, I just ralphed. 335 00:08:13,134 --> 00:08:15,555 At that point, 336 00:08:13,134 --> 00:08:15,555 she was five days late. 337 00:08:15,597 --> 00:08:18,019 This was day six. 338 00:08:18,060 --> 00:08:21,192 Yeah, I mean, 339 00:08:18,060 --> 00:08:21,192 I'm way too young 340 00:08:18,060 --> 00:08:21,192 to have a baby, right? 341 00:08:21,233 --> 00:08:22,820 Oh, are you kidding? 342 00:08:22,862 --> 00:08:24,782 I was younger than you 343 00:08:22,862 --> 00:08:24,782 when I had Marcus. 344 00:08:24,824 --> 00:08:28,039 Beautiful 15-pound boy. 345 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:29,917 Not much bigger than 346 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:29,917 this turkey right here. 347 00:08:34,844 --> 00:08:36,096 Oh, boy. 348 00:08:42,401 --> 00:08:45,741 Now, if Lily 349 00:08:42,401 --> 00:08:45,741 was already uneasy about 350 00:08:42,401 --> 00:08:45,741 joining the Eriksen family, 351 00:08:45,782 --> 00:08:47,661 imagine how she felt 352 00:08:45,782 --> 00:08:47,661 about possibly having 353 00:08:47,703 --> 00:08:50,667 a 15-pound Eriksen 354 00:08:47,703 --> 00:08:50,667 growing inside of her. 355 00:08:51,627 --> 00:08:53,882 That's a big baby, Judy. 356 00:08:53,924 --> 00:08:55,677 The doctor thought 357 00:08:53,924 --> 00:08:55,677 he was twins. 358 00:08:55,719 --> 00:08:57,264 Twins. 359 00:08:58,641 --> 00:08:59,769 Twins. 360 00:09:02,858 --> 00:09:06,407 This is crazy. 361 00:09:02,858 --> 00:09:06,407 Uh, uh, when did it get 362 00:09:02,858 --> 00:09:06,407 so hard to do charity work? 363 00:09:06,449 --> 00:09:08,077 I do charity work 364 00:09:06,449 --> 00:09:08,077 all the time. 365 00:09:08,119 --> 00:09:10,457 Remember when I said 366 00:09:08,119 --> 00:09:10,457 I'd find you a girlfriend? 367 00:09:10,498 --> 00:09:13,504 Delightful. 368 00:09:10,498 --> 00:09:13,504 How's that little project 369 00:09:10,498 --> 00:09:13,504 coming along, anyway? 370 00:09:13,546 --> 00:09:15,342 I'm working on it. 371 00:09:15,383 --> 00:09:17,387 I'm gonna 372 00:09:15,383 --> 00:09:17,387 introduce you to that girl 373 00:09:15,383 --> 00:09:17,387 you've been staring at. 374 00:09:17,429 --> 00:09:19,642 What? That's crazy. 375 00:09:17,429 --> 00:09:19,642 I haven't been 376 00:09:17,429 --> 00:09:19,642 staring at any girl. 377 00:09:19,683 --> 00:09:21,646 Have you met Ted? 378 00:09:21,687 --> 00:09:25,279 Hi, 379 00:09:21,687 --> 00:09:25,279 I'm the aforementioned Ted, 380 00:09:21,687 --> 00:09:25,279 and this is... Um, gone. 381 00:09:26,489 --> 00:09:27,950 I'm Amanda. 382 00:09:26,489 --> 00:09:27,950 Hi. 383 00:09:27,992 --> 00:09:29,703 So, uh, 384 00:09:27,992 --> 00:09:29,703 what do you do here, Ted? 385 00:09:29,745 --> 00:09:32,793 Well, I've been... 386 00:09:29,745 --> 00:09:32,793 Nothing. I do nothing. 387 00:09:33,962 --> 00:09:35,799 Well, if you wanna 388 00:09:33,962 --> 00:09:35,799 do something, 389 00:09:35,841 --> 00:09:37,886 you and your girlfriend 390 00:09:35,841 --> 00:09:37,886 can help sort through 391 00:09:35,841 --> 00:09:37,886 these donations. 392 00:09:37,928 --> 00:09:39,890 Oh, um, 393 00:09:37,928 --> 00:09:39,890 I'm not his girlfriend. 394 00:09:39,932 --> 00:09:43,315 I used to be, 395 00:09:39,932 --> 00:09:43,315 but, um, I just wasn't 396 00:09:39,932 --> 00:09:43,315 enough woman for Ted, 397 00:09:43,357 --> 00:09:46,028 emotionally, or sexually. 398 00:09:46,946 --> 00:09:48,783 Oh, my God. 399 00:09:48,825 --> 00:09:53,250 So, Amanda, 400 00:09:48,825 --> 00:09:53,250 what do you need us to do? 401 00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:54,628 Okay, this is important. 402 00:09:54,670 --> 00:09:56,799 Go through all these boxes 403 00:09:54,670 --> 00:09:56,799 of food donations, 404 00:09:56,841 --> 00:09:59,179 take out 405 00:09:56,841 --> 00:09:59,179 the really good stuff, 406 00:09:56,841 --> 00:09:59,179 and put it into this box. 407 00:09:59,221 --> 00:10:01,225 Got it. Consider it sorted. 408 00:10:02,395 --> 00:10:04,189 Hey, we're in business. 409 00:10:04,231 --> 00:10:06,109 Hey, Barney's not gonna 410 00:10:04,231 --> 00:10:06,109 get all the glory today. 411 00:10:10,702 --> 00:10:12,789 Let's start with this one. 412 00:10:10,702 --> 00:10:12,789 Yeah. 413 00:10:13,958 --> 00:10:15,044 Amen. 414 00:10:15,086 --> 00:10:16,255 Amen. 415 00:10:16,297 --> 00:10:18,968 Look who came 416 00:10:16,297 --> 00:10:18,968 to say good night. 417 00:10:19,010 --> 00:10:22,642 It's little Martin. 418 00:10:19,010 --> 00:10:22,642 Three months old. 419 00:10:22,684 --> 00:10:24,355 Months? Three months? 420 00:10:24,397 --> 00:10:26,233 He's been drinking his milk. 421 00:10:26,276 --> 00:10:27,361 Oh, yeah. 422 00:10:27,403 --> 00:10:28,863 Hear, hear. 423 00:10:30,951 --> 00:10:33,415 And she's already 424 00:10:30,951 --> 00:10:33,415 pregnant again. 425 00:10:33,457 --> 00:10:36,463 Well, that's 'cause 426 00:10:33,457 --> 00:10:36,463 those Eriksen boys' 427 00:10:33,457 --> 00:10:36,463 boys can swim. 428 00:10:36,504 --> 00:10:39,217 They got two tails 429 00:10:36,504 --> 00:10:39,217 and a drill bit for a head. 430 00:10:40,471 --> 00:10:42,433 Dad, you're embarrassing me. 431 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,561 Ah, don't worry about it, Son, 432 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,561 she's cool. 433 00:10:44,603 --> 00:10:46,483 She's gonna be an Eriksen. 434 00:10:46,524 --> 00:10:48,320 Yeah, well, well, 435 00:10:46,524 --> 00:10:48,320 not literally. 436 00:10:48,361 --> 00:10:50,573 'Cause, you know, 437 00:10:48,361 --> 00:10:50,573 I'm keeping my name. 438 00:10:51,700 --> 00:10:53,913 But the apron? 439 00:10:57,044 --> 00:10:59,675 Well, we haven't actually 440 00:10:57,044 --> 00:10:59,675 decided anything yet, 441 00:10:57,044 --> 00:10:59,675 so we're gonna... 442 00:10:59,716 --> 00:11:03,558 No, I've decided, 443 00:10:59,716 --> 00:11:03,558 and I'm keeping my own name. 444 00:11:03,599 --> 00:11:06,397 But Eriksen is 445 00:11:03,599 --> 00:11:06,397 a great last name. 446 00:11:07,316 --> 00:11:09,320 People know the Eriksens. 447 00:11:10,613 --> 00:11:12,535 Well, sure, in... in St. Cloud, 448 00:11:12,576 --> 00:11:15,790 but our kids aren't gonna be 449 00:11:12,576 --> 00:11:15,790 growing up in St. Cloud. 450 00:11:15,832 --> 00:11:16,959 Right, baby? 451 00:11:19,798 --> 00:11:21,677 Well, why not St. Cloud? 452 00:11:21,719 --> 00:11:23,473 I mean, I loved 453 00:11:21,719 --> 00:11:23,473 growing up in St. Cloud. 454 00:11:23,515 --> 00:11:26,019 St. Cloud is a great place 455 00:11:23,515 --> 00:11:26,019 to have a childhood. 456 00:11:26,061 --> 00:11:27,689 Well, so is New York. 457 00:11:30,612 --> 00:11:33,493 What? It is. 458 00:11:30,612 --> 00:11:33,493 And we grew up just fine. 459 00:11:33,535 --> 00:11:35,955 And we grew to 460 00:11:33,535 --> 00:11:35,955 the proper size, 461 00:11:33,535 --> 00:11:35,955 and then we stopped. 462 00:11:42,969 --> 00:11:44,264 Hey, Amanda, 463 00:11:42,969 --> 00:11:44,264 what's this box for? 464 00:11:44,306 --> 00:11:45,642 Oh, that's for me. 465 00:11:45,683 --> 00:11:47,646 You can put it in my car. 466 00:11:47,687 --> 00:11:50,444 In your car. 467 00:11:47,687 --> 00:11:50,444 Um, then you'll take it... 468 00:11:50,485 --> 00:11:54,033 Home. Yeah, 469 00:11:50,485 --> 00:11:54,033 we get so much extra food, 470 00:11:50,485 --> 00:11:54,033 no one can eat it all. 471 00:11:54,075 --> 00:11:57,958 Oh, truffle oil. Score. 472 00:11:57,999 --> 00:12:01,840 But people donated this food 473 00:11:57,999 --> 00:12:01,840 thinking it was going to feed 474 00:11:57,999 --> 00:12:01,840 the hungry. 475 00:12:01,882 --> 00:12:04,639 I know. And I'm starving. 476 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,525 But, Marshall, 477 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,525 you love New York. 478 00:12:10,567 --> 00:12:12,236 Yes, I do. 479 00:12:12,279 --> 00:12:14,198 But you always said 480 00:12:12,279 --> 00:12:14,198 that when we had kids, 481 00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:15,661 you wanted to move 482 00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:15,661 out of Manhattan. 483 00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:18,416 Well, yeah, to Brooklyn. 484 00:12:18,458 --> 00:12:20,504 Why are we even 485 00:12:18,458 --> 00:12:20,504 talking about this? 486 00:12:20,545 --> 00:12:22,549 This is, like, 487 00:12:20,545 --> 00:12:22,549 way down the road. 488 00:12:22,591 --> 00:12:24,637 But Lily knew 489 00:12:22,591 --> 00:12:24,637 "way down the road," 490 00:12:24,679 --> 00:12:26,474 might not be 491 00:12:24,679 --> 00:12:26,474 so far down the road. 492 00:12:28,268 --> 00:12:30,147 I need to go to the restroom. 493 00:12:30,189 --> 00:12:32,151 Lily, the restroom's 494 00:12:30,189 --> 00:12:32,151 the other way. 495 00:12:32,193 --> 00:12:33,655 So, she headed down the road. 496 00:12:34,615 --> 00:12:35,575 Lily? 497 00:12:36,619 --> 00:12:37,705 Lily! 498 00:12:44,258 --> 00:12:47,307 So, wait. 499 00:12:44,258 --> 00:12:47,307 Not only have you not done 500 00:12:44,258 --> 00:12:47,307 any good for anyone today, 501 00:12:47,349 --> 00:12:50,062 you're actually 502 00:12:47,349 --> 00:12:50,062 helping someone steal 503 00:12:47,349 --> 00:12:50,062 from the homeless? 504 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:53,151 You know, Ted, 505 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:53,151 it's called Thanksgiving, 506 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:53,151 not Thanks-taking. 507 00:12:53,193 --> 00:12:55,197 Damn. 508 00:12:55,239 --> 00:12:57,327 Barney, you need me to sign 509 00:12:55,239 --> 00:12:57,327 your time sheet, right? 510 00:12:57,369 --> 00:13:00,207 Oh, yeah, right. Thanks. 511 00:13:00,249 --> 00:13:01,377 Barney. 512 00:13:01,419 --> 00:13:02,713 Yeah, what's up? 513 00:13:02,755 --> 00:13:03,881 You have a time sheet? 514 00:13:03,923 --> 00:13:05,092 No one else has a time sheet. 515 00:13:05,133 --> 00:13:06,637 Yeah, so? 516 00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:08,098 All right, 517 00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:08,098 let me see that. 518 00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:08,098 Come on. 519 00:13:08,139 --> 00:13:09,769 Hey, that's my private, 520 00:13:08,139 --> 00:13:09,769 personal business. 521 00:13:09,810 --> 00:13:12,733 "Court-mandated 522 00:13:09,810 --> 00:13:12,733 community service?" 523 00:13:12,775 --> 00:13:14,278 Oh, my God, 524 00:13:12,775 --> 00:13:14,278 you're on probation? 525 00:13:14,319 --> 00:13:15,947 What did you do? 526 00:13:17,032 --> 00:13:18,953 That's my private, 527 00:13:17,032 --> 00:13:18,953 personal business. 528 00:13:25,341 --> 00:13:30,142 I was unfairly punished 529 00:13:25,341 --> 00:13:30,142 because the wall belonged 530 00:13:25,341 --> 00:13:30,142 to the judge's church. 531 00:13:30,183 --> 00:13:32,272 You peed on a church? 532 00:13:32,314 --> 00:13:35,110 I peed in an alley, 533 00:13:32,314 --> 00:13:35,110 which happened 534 00:13:32,314 --> 00:13:35,110 to have a church, 535 00:13:35,152 --> 00:13:37,574 which I did not see, 536 00:13:35,152 --> 00:13:37,574 because I was drunk. 537 00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:40,580 You are evil. 538 00:13:40,622 --> 00:13:43,042 Ah, all is right 539 00:13:40,622 --> 00:13:43,042 with the world again. 540 00:13:43,084 --> 00:13:44,630 Okay, fine. 541 00:13:44,672 --> 00:13:47,594 So a judge is 542 00:13:44,672 --> 00:13:47,594 making me do this, 543 00:13:44,672 --> 00:13:47,594 but I'm still doing it. 544 00:13:47,636 --> 00:13:52,019 And kicking ass at it, BTW. 545 00:13:52,060 --> 00:13:54,441 When's the last time 546 00:13:52,060 --> 00:13:54,441 either of you did 547 00:13:52,060 --> 00:13:54,441 something good, huh? 548 00:13:58,282 --> 00:13:59,409 Kendall. Ah, Kendall. 549 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:05,630 Amanda is stealing 550 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:05,630 Portobello mushrooms 551 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:05,630 from homeless people. 552 00:14:05,672 --> 00:14:09,513 Amanda. I called dibs 553 00:14:05,672 --> 00:14:09,513 on the Portobello mushrooms. 554 00:14:11,182 --> 00:14:12,352 Those are for the hungry. 555 00:14:12,394 --> 00:14:14,857 I know. And I'm starving. 556 00:14:20,785 --> 00:14:22,497 Those are good mushrooms! 557 00:14:22,539 --> 00:14:24,124 Mushrooms! Mushrooms! 558 00:14:24,166 --> 00:14:25,545 Portobello mushrooms 559 00:14:24,166 --> 00:14:25,545 for everyone! 560 00:14:25,587 --> 00:14:27,507 Take them and run! 561 00:14:27,549 --> 00:14:29,218 They're very expensive! 562 00:14:33,853 --> 00:14:35,314 Happy Thanksgiving. 563 00:14:35,356 --> 00:14:37,234 Happy Thanksgiving? 564 00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:39,782 As in, 565 00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:39,782 "Check out the chick buying 566 00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:39,782 the knock-up test, everybody, 567 00:14:39,823 --> 00:14:42,119 "wonder what must be 568 00:14:39,823 --> 00:14:42,119 going through her head." 569 00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:43,623 Yeah, well, since you asked, 570 00:14:43,664 --> 00:14:46,545 a family of 571 00:14:43,664 --> 00:14:46,545 mayonnaise-guzzling giants 572 00:14:46,587 --> 00:14:49,593 is trying to suck me into 573 00:14:46,587 --> 00:14:49,593 their suburban nightmare, 574 00:14:49,635 --> 00:14:51,847 and there's a solid chance 575 00:14:49,635 --> 00:14:51,847 that I have an Eriksen, 576 00:14:51,889 --> 00:14:55,730 the size of a 15-pound turkey, 577 00:14:51,889 --> 00:14:55,730 growing inside of me! 578 00:14:57,149 --> 00:14:59,613 You know the Eriksens? 579 00:14:59,655 --> 00:15:01,366 You're Marshall's fiancee. 580 00:15:02,285 --> 00:15:03,496 Fantastic. 581 00:15:03,537 --> 00:15:05,081 So nice to meet you. 582 00:15:05,123 --> 00:15:07,044 You're taller than described. 583 00:15:08,798 --> 00:15:11,595 Oh, I'm sorry 584 00:15:08,798 --> 00:15:11,595 I just yelled at you. 585 00:15:11,637 --> 00:15:12,973 You mind if I use 586 00:15:11,637 --> 00:15:12,973 your bathroom? 587 00:15:13,015 --> 00:15:14,601 Don't have one. 588 00:15:14,643 --> 00:15:15,937 So what do you do 589 00:15:14,643 --> 00:15:15,937 when you have to... 590 00:15:15,979 --> 00:15:17,147 I hold it. 591 00:15:24,203 --> 00:15:26,500 You can't fire a volunteer. 592 00:15:26,542 --> 00:15:28,379 Apparently you can. 593 00:15:28,420 --> 00:15:31,760 And his two 594 00:15:28,420 --> 00:15:31,760 non-mushroom-throwing friends. 595 00:15:31,802 --> 00:15:34,933 I can't believe 596 00:15:31,802 --> 00:15:34,933 I told Kendall 597 00:15:31,802 --> 00:15:34,933 you guys were cool. 598 00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:37,772 I have 40 hours left 599 00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:37,772 on my community service. 600 00:15:37,814 --> 00:15:41,655 And now I've gotta spend it 601 00:15:37,814 --> 00:15:41,655 spearing trash on 602 00:15:37,814 --> 00:15:41,655 a freaking median strip. 603 00:15:43,157 --> 00:15:46,163 Volunteer of the Year! 604 00:15:47,333 --> 00:15:49,087 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay? 605 00:15:49,128 --> 00:15:51,717 Look, if there's anything 606 00:15:49,128 --> 00:15:51,717 I can do to make it up to you, 607 00:15:51,759 --> 00:15:53,011 just tell me, 608 00:15:51,759 --> 00:15:53,011 I'll... I'll do it. 609 00:15:53,053 --> 00:15:54,263 Ted, I'm glad you asked. 610 00:16:03,616 --> 00:16:04,826 Surprisingly good. 611 00:16:04,868 --> 00:16:06,872 Right? I told you so. 612 00:16:06,914 --> 00:16:11,005 Public urination. 613 00:16:06,914 --> 00:16:11,005 Who gets arrested 614 00:16:06,914 --> 00:16:11,005 for public urination? 615 00:16:11,047 --> 00:16:12,133 Lily's been arrested. 616 00:16:12,174 --> 00:16:13,886 Oh, dear. What for? 617 00:16:15,765 --> 00:16:17,101 Public urination. 618 00:16:26,745 --> 00:16:29,083 Thanks, Pete. 619 00:16:26,745 --> 00:16:29,083 No problemo, Marsh. 620 00:16:31,129 --> 00:16:32,173 You all right? 621 00:16:32,214 --> 00:16:33,884 No. 622 00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:36,556 I embarrassed myself 623 00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:36,556 in front of your family, 624 00:16:36,598 --> 00:16:38,101 and now I'm celebrating 625 00:16:36,598 --> 00:16:38,101 Thanksgiving 626 00:16:38,143 --> 00:16:41,149 in probably the most 627 00:16:38,143 --> 00:16:41,149 depressing place ever. 628 00:16:45,658 --> 00:16:47,704 Well, I'm glad 629 00:16:45,658 --> 00:16:47,704 that you're safe. 630 00:16:47,745 --> 00:16:49,040 Hey, weird question. 631 00:16:49,081 --> 00:16:51,127 Why did you drive 632 00:16:49,081 --> 00:16:51,127 3 miles down Route 23 633 00:16:51,169 --> 00:16:53,089 and take a pee behind 634 00:16:51,169 --> 00:16:53,089 a convenience store? 635 00:16:53,131 --> 00:16:55,386 Okay, I'll tell you, 636 00:16:53,131 --> 00:16:55,386 but before I do, 637 00:16:55,427 --> 00:16:57,181 promise me that 638 00:16:55,427 --> 00:16:57,181 we are not gonna move 639 00:16:57,223 --> 00:16:58,934 to St. Cloud, Minnesota. 640 00:16:57,223 --> 00:16:58,934 Promise. 641 00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:01,022 Look it, I'm not suggesting 642 00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:01,022 that we move here tomorrow, 643 00:17:01,064 --> 00:17:02,400 I'm just... 644 00:17:01,064 --> 00:17:02,400 Just promise! 645 00:17:02,441 --> 00:17:04,153 Why do you want me 646 00:17:02,441 --> 00:17:04,153 to promise you that? 647 00:17:04,195 --> 00:17:07,076 Because I don't fit in here. 648 00:17:04,195 --> 00:17:07,076 I'm not 8 feet tall, 649 00:17:07,117 --> 00:17:10,374 and I don't think 650 00:17:07,117 --> 00:17:10,374 you can call it a salad 651 00:17:07,117 --> 00:17:10,374 if it has Funyuns in it! 652 00:17:11,293 --> 00:17:13,213 I'm Funyuns. 653 00:17:13,255 --> 00:17:15,217 And mayonnaise, 654 00:17:13,255 --> 00:17:15,217 and Gummi Bears, 655 00:17:15,259 --> 00:17:17,471 and bask-ice-ball, 656 00:17:15,259 --> 00:17:17,471 and I love St. Cloud. 657 00:17:17,513 --> 00:17:19,016 And yes, 658 00:17:17,513 --> 00:17:19,016 there is a part of me 659 00:17:19,058 --> 00:17:20,519 that would like to 660 00:17:19,058 --> 00:17:20,519 move here someday. 661 00:17:20,561 --> 00:17:22,189 And why are we having 662 00:17:20,561 --> 00:17:22,189 this discussion 663 00:17:22,231 --> 00:17:25,529 in a jail cell 664 00:17:22,231 --> 00:17:25,529 on Thanksgiving? 665 00:17:25,571 --> 00:17:29,829 Okay, personal effects. 666 00:17:25,571 --> 00:17:29,829 One wallet, one cell phone, 667 00:17:30,790 --> 00:17:32,543 one pregnancy test. 668 00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:43,607 Pete arrested me 669 00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:43,607 before I could look at it. 670 00:17:51,247 --> 00:17:52,667 Whoa. 671 00:17:52,708 --> 00:17:55,298 Yeah. 672 00:17:55,340 --> 00:17:58,136 Lily, we can't let our kids 673 00:17:55,340 --> 00:17:58,136 play bask-ice-ball. 674 00:17:58,178 --> 00:18:01,726 Bask-ice-ball is 675 00:17:58,178 --> 00:18:01,726 really dangerous. 676 00:18:01,768 --> 00:18:04,023 Yeah, what are the rules 677 00:18:01,768 --> 00:18:04,023 to that game, anyway? 678 00:18:04,064 --> 00:18:06,403 There are no rules. 679 00:18:04,064 --> 00:18:06,403 We just whale on each other. 680 00:18:11,621 --> 00:18:14,294 Look, I don't wanna be 681 00:18:11,621 --> 00:18:14,294 exactly like my family. 682 00:18:16,172 --> 00:18:19,346 And don't take 683 00:18:16,172 --> 00:18:19,346 this the wrong way, 684 00:18:19,388 --> 00:18:22,267 but I don't wanna be exactly 685 00:18:19,388 --> 00:18:22,267 like your family, either. 686 00:18:24,188 --> 00:18:26,192 We'll be our own family. 687 00:18:26,234 --> 00:18:31,286 And we'll find our own way 688 00:18:26,234 --> 00:18:31,286 to freak out the people 689 00:18:26,234 --> 00:18:31,286 our kids bring home. 690 00:18:34,709 --> 00:18:37,130 Great, now I'm crying. 691 00:18:37,172 --> 00:18:43,268 Look, we may have some 692 00:18:37,172 --> 00:18:43,268 really big decisions to make 693 00:18:37,172 --> 00:18:43,268 in about 10 seconds, 694 00:18:43,310 --> 00:18:45,522 but right now, I don't care 695 00:18:43,310 --> 00:18:45,522 where our kids grow up, 696 00:18:45,564 --> 00:18:48,194 as long as they have 697 00:18:45,564 --> 00:18:48,194 you for a father. 698 00:18:52,287 --> 00:18:54,374 Gosh, I hope 699 00:18:52,287 --> 00:18:54,374 you're the father. 700 00:18:54,416 --> 00:18:57,422 Just a little joke 701 00:18:54,416 --> 00:18:57,422 to lighten up the mood. 702 00:19:02,348 --> 00:19:03,683 What does it say? 703 00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:06,648 I'm afraid to look. 704 00:19:06,689 --> 00:19:08,277 It's negative! 705 00:19:09,362 --> 00:19:11,366 Oh, thank God. 706 00:19:12,494 --> 00:19:13,954 And, hey! 707 00:19:16,584 --> 00:19:19,341 Ted, are you listening? 708 00:19:20,343 --> 00:19:21,636 You're a good guy. 709 00:19:21,678 --> 00:19:24,016 Wanna know why I have 710 00:19:21,678 --> 00:19:24,016 to work tomorrow? 711 00:19:24,057 --> 00:19:27,273 My firm's designing 712 00:19:24,057 --> 00:19:27,273 an executive lounge 713 00:19:24,057 --> 00:19:27,273 for a tobacco company. 714 00:19:27,315 --> 00:19:31,197 In the fight against cancer, 715 00:19:27,315 --> 00:19:31,197 I'm on the side of cancer. 716 00:19:31,238 --> 00:19:34,244 Okay, Ted. I found a way 717 00:19:31,238 --> 00:19:34,244 for you to help someone, 718 00:19:31,238 --> 00:19:34,244 to do some good. 719 00:19:34,287 --> 00:19:36,542 This is Walter. 720 00:19:34,287 --> 00:19:36,542 Walter is homeless. 721 00:19:36,583 --> 00:19:38,879 And Walter would 722 00:19:36,583 --> 00:19:38,879 like a lap dance. 723 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,301 Are you joking? 724 00:19:41,343 --> 00:19:44,391 I never joke about 725 00:19:41,343 --> 00:19:44,391 the sublime art of 726 00:19:41,343 --> 00:19:44,391 burlesque entertainment. 727 00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:47,187 No, Barney, that's insane. 728 00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:50,777 Sir, would you like me 729 00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:50,777 to buy you a ticket 730 00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:50,777 to the buffet? 731 00:19:50,819 --> 00:19:54,952 No, I'm stuffed. 732 00:19:50,819 --> 00:19:54,952 Just the lap dance 733 00:19:50,819 --> 00:19:54,952 would be fine. 734 00:19:54,994 --> 00:19:56,789 Ted, Walter's been 735 00:19:54,994 --> 00:19:56,789 to three shelter dinners. 736 00:19:56,831 --> 00:19:58,251 You know 737 00:19:56,831 --> 00:19:58,251 where he hasn't been? 738 00:19:58,293 --> 00:19:59,962 To heaven with Samantha. 739 00:20:02,676 --> 00:20:05,766 Look, it's the one chance 740 00:20:02,676 --> 00:20:05,766 you've had all day to help 741 00:20:02,676 --> 00:20:05,766 someone in need. 742 00:20:05,807 --> 00:20:08,772 Now, buy this man 743 00:20:05,807 --> 00:20:08,772 a lap dance. 744 00:20:08,813 --> 00:20:12,405 You said you wanted 745 00:20:08,813 --> 00:20:12,405 to see the look of joy 746 00:20:08,813 --> 00:20:12,405 in someone's eyes. 747 00:20:12,447 --> 00:20:15,118 You know, I don't think 748 00:20:12,447 --> 00:20:15,118 I'm gonna watch. 749 00:20:16,871 --> 00:20:20,463 Here you go, Walter. 750 00:20:16,871 --> 00:20:20,463 Happy Thanksgiving. 751 00:20:22,048 --> 00:20:24,887 Thank you so much. 752 00:20:22,048 --> 00:20:24,887 No, really. Thank you. 753 00:20:29,146 --> 00:20:31,066 Happy Thanksgiving, guys. 754 00:20:33,780 --> 00:20:35,660 Thanksgiving in November. 755 00:20:35,701 --> 00:20:37,036 Weird. 756 00:20:43,215 --> 00:20:46,054 So, 757 00:20:43,215 --> 00:20:46,054 that was Thanksgiving 2005. 758 00:20:46,096 --> 00:20:48,100 To be honest, 759 00:20:46,096 --> 00:20:48,100 it didn't go great. 760 00:20:48,142 --> 00:20:50,104 But life has 761 00:20:48,142 --> 00:20:50,104 plenty of good parts. 762 00:20:50,146 --> 00:20:52,108 It's the rough parts 763 00:20:50,146 --> 00:20:52,108 that make you thankful 764 00:20:52,150 --> 00:20:53,945 you have people 765 00:20:52,150 --> 00:20:53,945 to share it with. 766 00:21:12,148 --> 00:21:14,612 Hey, I saw what you did 767 00:21:12,148 --> 00:21:14,612 for that guy. 768 00:21:14,654 --> 00:21:16,991 It was really sweet. 769 00:21:14,654 --> 00:21:16,991 Oh. 770 00:21:17,033 --> 00:21:18,453 Do you want a dance? 771 00:21:18,495 --> 00:21:19,581 Uh, no, thanks. 772 00:21:20,541 --> 00:21:21,793 Do you want some yams? 773 00:21:21,834 --> 00:21:22,961 No, thanks. 774 00:21:24,130 --> 00:21:25,509 I'm Amber. 775 00:21:25,551 --> 00:21:26,762 I'm Ted. 776 00:21:26,803 --> 00:21:29,308 Actually, I'm Tracey. 777 00:21:30,644 --> 00:21:33,275 Still Ted. 778 00:21:33,316 --> 00:21:36,196 And that, kids, 779 00:21:33,316 --> 00:21:36,196 is the true story of 780 00:21:33,316 --> 00:21:36,196 how I met your mother. 781 00:21:36,238 --> 00:21:38,242 What? 782 00:21:36,238 --> 00:21:38,242 I'm kidding.