1 00:00:18,853 --> 00:00:22,498 Now I remember a lot of stories from back in the days before I met your mother. 2 00:00:22,674 --> 00:00:24,706 But there's one story I don't remember. 3 00:00:25,037 --> 00:00:28,317 Uncle Marshall still refers to it as "The Pineapple Incident." 4 00:00:28,742 --> 00:00:30,606 The night started like any other. 5 00:00:30,706 --> 00:00:32,255 We were downstairs at the bar. 6 00:00:32,363 --> 00:00:33,533 On the house. 7 00:00:34,746 --> 00:00:36,061 It's my own concoction. 8 00:00:36,151 --> 00:00:37,569 I call it the Red Dragon. 9 00:00:37,654 --> 00:00:40,307 - Wow! Thanks! - That was really sweet. 10 00:00:40,709 --> 00:00:42,728 - We're not really doing shotre we? - I Hope not. 11 00:00:43,213 --> 00:00:45,676 These look kind of like blood. 12 00:00:46,337 --> 00:00:50,055 Okay, I know that you've all dismissed this theory before. 13 00:00:50,191 --> 00:00:52,668 But is there any chance that Carl is a vampire? 14 00:00:53,803 --> 00:00:56,098 No, you guys, I'm serious. Think about it. 15 00:00:56,170 --> 00:00:57,324 He always wears black. 16 00:00:57,398 --> 00:00:59,824 We never see him in the daylight, only after dark. 17 00:00:59,847 --> 00:01:00,979 Oh, my God. 18 00:01:01,075 --> 00:01:03,065 That does describe a vampire... 19 00:01:03,162 --> 00:01:05,516 or, you know, a bartender. 20 00:01:07,267 --> 00:01:08,461 I should go get dressed. 21 00:01:08,548 --> 00:01:10,025 Where you going, buddy? Hot date? 22 00:01:10,127 --> 00:01:12,653 I'll say. She's going out with a billionaire. 23 00:01:12,738 --> 00:01:14,575 Lily, I told you not to call him that. 24 00:01:14,654 --> 00:01:16,181 Wait, you're really going out with a billionaire? 25 00:01:16,251 --> 00:01:18,227 He's not a billionaire. He's a hundred-millionaire. 26 00:01:18,302 --> 00:01:20,018 Why do people always round up? 27 00:01:20,363 --> 00:01:23,241 So, uh, where's Thurston Howell taking you? 28 00:01:23,309 --> 00:01:24,125 A charity dinner. 29 00:01:24,195 --> 00:01:26,190 Yeah, $2,000 a plate. 30 00:01:26,258 --> 00:01:28,483 $1,500. Stop rounding up. 31 00:01:28,673 --> 00:01:30,177 And it's for Third World hunger. 32 00:01:30,263 --> 00:01:31,407 You gonna put out? 33 00:01:32,152 --> 00:01:32,903 What? 34 00:01:32,998 --> 00:01:34,745 There's only one reason he's taking her to this dinner, 35 00:01:34,824 --> 00:01:38,166 and it's not so little Mutu can get his malaria pills. 36 00:01:39,376 --> 00:01:42,457 I think my soul just threw up a little bit. 37 00:01:43,128 --> 00:01:44,248 Well, I'm gonna be late. 38 00:01:44,329 --> 00:01:45,301 You guys have fun. 39 00:01:45,408 --> 00:01:46,422 - Bye. - See ya. 40 00:01:46,493 --> 00:01:47,425 - Bye. - See ya. 41 00:01:48,542 --> 00:01:49,312 You okay? 42 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:50,584 Sure. Why? 43 00:01:50,687 --> 00:01:51,894 Oh, I don't know. 44 00:01:51,989 --> 00:01:54,417 Girl of your dreams dating a billionaire. 45 00:01:54,497 --> 00:01:57,167 Okay, first of all, hundred-millionaire. 46 00:01:57,591 --> 00:02:00,550 And second, she's not the girl of my dreams. 47 00:02:00,623 --> 00:02:01,794 We're just friends. 48 00:02:01,892 --> 00:02:03,598 Look, it would not be smart if we got together. 49 00:02:03,676 --> 00:02:06,549 I mean, I'm looking to settle down, she's looking for... 50 00:02:08,152 --> 00:02:09,912 Wha...? You done? Great. 51 00:02:10,579 --> 00:02:14,094 Check out table number four. 52 00:02:14,482 --> 00:02:16,409 See that little hottie on the end? 53 00:02:16,484 --> 00:02:21,027 She's short, but has an ample bosom. I love it. She's, like, half boob. 54 00:02:21,302 --> 00:02:22,025 Let's go. 55 00:02:22,124 --> 00:02:24,758 Yeah, and say what? What's our big opening line? 56 00:02:24,999 --> 00:02:26,585 I... uh... 57 00:02:27,038 --> 00:02:28,507 Daddy's home. 58 00:02:29,671 --> 00:02:33,621 Daddy's home? Okay, you want us to go over there right now 59 00:02:33,682 --> 00:02:36,519 and say to those girls, "Daddy's home"? 60 00:02:36,635 --> 00:02:38,681 Really think about that, Barney. 61 00:02:40,074 --> 00:02:41,713 Yeah, I think it's pretty solid. 62 00:02:42,544 --> 00:02:44,285 Okay, think about this. 63 00:02:44,367 --> 00:02:48,071 Is there even a single item on the menu that has garlic in it? 64 00:02:48,398 --> 00:02:50,074 Garlic fries. 65 00:02:50,540 --> 00:02:51,974 Okay, well, I'll get back to you. 66 00:02:53,061 --> 00:02:55,393 Oh, Daddy's back. 67 00:02:55,476 --> 00:02:57,701 See, if you'd taken a moment to think about that... 68 00:02:57,752 --> 00:03:02,930 Then Daddy wouldn't have gotten this seven-digit Father's Date Card from Amy. 69 00:03:03,875 --> 00:03:05,240 That worked? 70 00:03:05,343 --> 00:03:06,239 I hate the world. 71 00:03:06,328 --> 00:03:08,976 Ted, your problem is all you do is think, think, think. 72 00:03:09,061 --> 00:03:11,214 I'm teaching you how to do, do, do. 73 00:03:11,296 --> 00:03:13,102 - Doo-doo. - Totally. 74 00:03:13,507 --> 00:03:17,686 So I think a lot. I happen to have a very powerful brain. It can't be helped. 75 00:03:17,753 --> 00:03:19,474 Oh, yes, it can. 76 00:03:20,532 --> 00:03:21,913 Interesting. 77 00:03:22,004 --> 00:03:24,472 Ted, I believe you and I met for a reason. 78 00:03:24,556 --> 00:03:27,725 It's like the universe was saying, "Hey, Barney, there's this dude— he's pretty cool— 79 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:30,310 but it's your job to make him awesome." 80 00:03:30,692 --> 00:03:32,921 Your brain screws you up, Ted. It gets in the way. 81 00:03:32,999 --> 00:03:35,503 It happened with Robin, it happened with Half Boob, 82 00:03:35,660 --> 00:03:42,054 and it's gonna keep on happening until you power down that bucket of neuroses inibriation style. 83 00:03:42,254 --> 00:03:44,714 So, what, you want me to do a shot? 84 00:03:44,789 --> 00:03:45,793 Oh, no. 85 00:03:45,863 --> 00:03:47,981 I want you to do five shots. 86 00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:50,377 More interesting. 87 00:03:50,519 --> 00:03:53,044 Barney, I think you've officially... 88 00:03:53,075 --> 00:03:55,356 No, don't think. Do. 89 00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:57,855 Ted, he's right: you overthink. 90 00:03:57,945 --> 00:04:00,157 Maybe you should overdrink. 91 00:04:00,244 --> 00:04:03,115 - Drink, drink... - Drink, drink, drink... 92 00:04:03,195 --> 00:04:05,352 Uh, Lily, will you tell these guys how stupid they're being? 93 00:04:05,437 --> 00:04:09,845 Guys, you are being immature and moronic, and drink, drink... 94 00:04:10,444 --> 00:04:13,816 Drink, drink, drink... 95 00:04:14,070 --> 00:04:15,309 Yeah! 96 00:04:15,450 --> 00:04:17,206 Drink, drink, drink... 97 00:04:17,282 --> 00:04:19,777 Let me tell you something about this dream, okay? 98 00:04:20,287 --> 00:04:21,511 Drink! 99 00:04:21,874 --> 00:04:24,370 Pure alcohol cannot stop this brain. 100 00:04:24,465 --> 00:04:25,720 Drink, drink, drink... 101 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,128 I love it! I love it! I love it! 102 00:04:27,152 --> 00:04:30,356 This brain, dear mortals, is no ordinary brain. 103 00:04:30,455 --> 00:04:32,167 Drink, drink, drink... 104 00:04:32,334 --> 00:04:34,086 This is a super brain. 105 00:04:34,259 --> 00:04:35,760 Drink, drink, drink... 106 00:04:35,849 --> 00:04:38,233 This brain is unstoppable. 107 00:04:38,323 --> 00:04:39,427 This brain... 108 00:04:39,517 --> 00:04:41,125 And that's all I remember. 109 00:04:41,342 --> 00:04:43,746 Except for a few hazy memories. 110 00:04:55,330 --> 00:04:58,961 But really, the next thing I remember was waking up the following morning. 111 00:05:14,952 --> 00:05:17,439 So there were some unanswered questions. 112 00:05:17,524 --> 00:05:19,076 How much did I drink? 113 00:05:19,177 --> 00:05:20,721 How did I sprain my ankle? 114 00:05:24,919 --> 00:05:26,889 And who was this girl in my bed? 115 00:05:28,187 --> 00:05:30,151 There's our rock star. 116 00:05:30,253 --> 00:05:33,186 Okay, uh... What the hell happened last night? 117 00:05:33,284 --> 00:05:35,901 You really don't remember, Superbrain? 118 00:05:36,344 --> 00:05:39,054 So Uncle Marshall and Aunt Lilly filled me in. 119 00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:41,223 And how did you guys like the shots? 120 00:05:41,307 --> 00:05:43,717 I drank all five, bitch. 121 00:05:44,546 --> 00:05:46,617 I love Drunk Ted. 122 00:05:46,719 --> 00:05:48,516 Marshall thinks you're a vampire. 123 00:05:51,130 --> 00:05:54,724 If he pukes, one of you guys cleans it up. 124 00:05:55,375 --> 00:05:56,389 No dibs. 125 00:05:56,597 --> 00:05:58,327 No d... Damn it! 126 00:05:58,774 --> 00:06:00,420 How quickly you all forget. 127 00:06:00,504 --> 00:06:01,904 I haven't puked since high school. 128 00:06:01,989 --> 00:06:04,742 I am vomit-free since '93. 129 00:06:04,842 --> 00:06:07,075 Vomit-free since '93. 130 00:06:07,174 --> 00:06:09,327 That's funny. I'm funny! 131 00:06:09,451 --> 00:06:10,434 Who are you calling? 132 00:06:10,527 --> 00:06:11,154 Robin. 133 00:06:11,239 --> 00:06:12,770 Oh, bad idea jeans. 134 00:06:12,866 --> 00:06:15,640 No, no, it's a great idea. That's the whole point of getting drunk. 135 00:06:15,723 --> 00:06:18,012 You do things you'd never do if you were sober. 136 00:06:18,095 --> 00:06:20,470 Says every girl you've ever slept with. 137 00:06:20,543 --> 00:06:21,907 Say what? 138 00:06:24,152 --> 00:06:25,643 Hello, Robin. It's Ted. 139 00:06:25,723 --> 00:06:26,751 Oh, hi, Ted. 140 00:06:26,833 --> 00:06:28,617 Hello, Robin. It's Ted. 141 00:06:28,825 --> 00:06:30,204 Hi, Ted. 142 00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:31,697 Sounds like you're having fun. 143 00:06:31,779 --> 00:06:36,437 Robin, have I ever told you that I am vomit-free since '93? 144 00:06:37,219 --> 00:06:39,502 Listen, Ted, I can't really talk right... 145 00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:40,926 '93? 146 00:06:41,297 --> 00:06:42,864 Dude, that's impressive. 147 00:06:42,948 --> 00:06:47,097 Robin, I don't say this enough, but you're a great woman, and a great reporter. 148 00:06:47,177 --> 00:06:49,019 You should be on 60 Minutes. 149 00:06:49,116 --> 00:06:51,336 You should be one of the minutes. 150 00:06:52,011 --> 00:06:54,462 That's sweet... and odd. 151 00:06:54,544 --> 00:06:55,917 But I'm kind of on a date right now. 152 00:06:56,014 --> 00:06:57,654 Yeah, and I disagree with Barney. 153 00:06:57,740 --> 00:07:01,397 Just 'cause this guy's spending a lot of money doesn't mean you have to put out. 154 00:07:01,482 --> 00:07:04,937 Take it slow, Robin. Take it slow. 155 00:07:05,532 --> 00:07:07,054 Slow... 156 00:07:07,136 --> 00:07:08,212 Bye, Ted. 157 00:07:08,313 --> 00:07:10,037 Slow... 158 00:07:10,148 --> 00:07:13,351 Wow, right. That's why we don't do shots. 159 00:07:13,489 --> 00:07:15,913 Friends don't let friends drink and dial. 160 00:07:15,998 --> 00:07:17,042 I need that phone back. 161 00:07:17,127 --> 00:07:19,186 You'll get this back at the end of class. 162 00:07:19,267 --> 00:07:23,071 Ding. Class dismissed. Here you go, kid. You call whoever you want. 163 00:07:23,162 --> 00:07:24,401 Thank you, kind sir. 164 00:07:24,492 --> 00:07:28,557 At least someone appreciates the fact that I am doing and not thinking. 165 00:07:28,633 --> 00:07:32,952 And now, I don't think I won't not go to the bathroom. 166 00:07:34,401 --> 00:07:37,736 Was that necessary? He is not making smart decisions. 167 00:07:37,775 --> 00:07:41,770 Exactly. It's like, what's he gonna do next? I don't know, but I want to find out. 168 00:07:46,659 --> 00:07:47,815 Cheap Trick? 169 00:07:48,598 --> 00:07:49,783 Oh, Ted. 170 00:07:52,596 --> 00:07:53,982 Hello again, Ted. 171 00:08:09,470 --> 00:08:11,641 I love everyone in this bar! 172 00:08:11,719 --> 00:08:13,966 We love you, Drunk Ted! 173 00:08:22,770 --> 00:08:23,784 Ted? 174 00:08:24,296 --> 00:08:25,963 Well, that explains the ankle. 175 00:08:26,058 --> 00:08:28,320 Then we brought you home and put you to bed. 176 00:08:28,528 --> 00:08:31,013 Was there anyone else in there with me? 177 00:08:42,487 --> 00:08:44,838 - There's a girl in there! - I know. 178 00:08:44,914 --> 00:08:46,806 - And a pineapple. - I know. 179 00:08:46,845 --> 00:08:48,877 - Who is she? - I don't know. 180 00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:53,117 What the hell happened to my jacket? 181 00:08:53,219 --> 00:08:54,410 Whoa. 182 00:08:55,391 --> 00:08:57,995 That girl in there is alive, right? 183 00:08:59,482 --> 00:09:01,789 I should call Barney. Maybe he knows what happened. 184 00:09:20,665 --> 00:09:21,728 Hello. 185 00:09:21,849 --> 00:09:23,506 Why are you sleeping in our tub? 186 00:09:23,596 --> 00:09:26,240 Uh, the porcelain keeps the suit from wrinkling. 187 00:09:27,671 --> 00:09:30,987 Wait, were you here when I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night? 188 00:09:31,072 --> 00:09:32,974 Don't worry. I slept through it. 189 00:09:33,956 --> 00:09:35,965 I totally didn't sleep through it. 190 00:09:36,968 --> 00:09:39,958 Oh, and wow, for a little girl, you got a big tank. 191 00:09:41,366 --> 00:09:44,127 How did you get in here anyway? We put Ted to bed around 1:00. 192 00:09:44,211 --> 00:09:46,625 Oh, you put Ted to bed, all right. 193 00:09:46,864 --> 00:09:48,990 You guys take care of me. 194 00:09:49,086 --> 00:09:50,802 You guys are the best. 195 00:09:51,014 --> 00:09:53,128 I love you guys so much. 196 00:09:53,678 --> 00:09:54,873 Good night, Ted. 197 00:09:54,958 --> 00:09:56,193 Love you, too, buddy. 198 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:01,067 I'm back, baby doll! 199 00:10:01,287 --> 00:10:03,221 Hey! Hey! Hey! 200 00:10:03,308 --> 00:10:04,857 He rallies! 201 00:10:04,941 --> 00:10:06,865 And the night begins now! 202 00:10:07,045 --> 00:10:09,987 All right. Game face on. Carl, two more. 203 00:10:10,265 --> 00:10:12,202 All right, what do we think of this one? 204 00:10:12,371 --> 00:10:16,117 - I think she... - Trick question. No thinking. 205 00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:20,725 You know what time it is? It's do o'clock. Let's ride. Bring it! 206 00:10:22,166 --> 00:10:22,977 Hi. 207 00:10:23,741 --> 00:10:25,673 Have you met Ted? 208 00:10:29,284 --> 00:10:30,379 Excuse me. 209 00:10:33,223 --> 00:10:34,620 You're calling Robin. 210 00:10:34,754 --> 00:10:36,034 I'm calling Robin. 211 00:10:36,129 --> 00:10:40,606 Ted, as your mentor and spiritual guide, I forbid you from calling her. 212 00:10:40,747 --> 00:10:41,894 Oh, yeah? 213 00:10:42,078 --> 00:10:43,525 What you gonna do? 214 00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:49,004 If you complete that call, I will set your coat on fire. 215 00:10:50,249 --> 00:10:51,607 You're bluffing. 216 00:10:54,303 --> 00:10:55,991 Hello, Robin. It's Ted. 217 00:10:56,086 --> 00:10:58,823 - Ted, for the last time, stop... - Ow! 218 00:11:00,374 --> 00:11:01,135 Ted? 219 00:11:01,245 --> 00:11:03,674 You set me on fire. 220 00:11:03,843 --> 00:11:05,741 Real suede wouldn't have gone up so fast. 221 00:11:05,826 --> 00:11:07,334 You got robbed. This is a blend. 222 00:11:08,715 --> 00:11:11,468 You set me on fire. 223 00:11:11,967 --> 00:11:13,810 And who's the girl in my bed? 224 00:11:24,545 --> 00:11:26,073 There's a girl in your bed. 225 00:11:26,733 --> 00:11:30,486 And a pineapple. Am I the only one who's curious about the pineapple? 226 00:11:30,931 --> 00:11:31,796 Who is she? 227 00:11:31,888 --> 00:11:33,358 I have no idea. 228 00:11:33,468 --> 00:11:34,585 Nice. 229 00:11:35,206 --> 00:11:36,564 You really don't know who that is? 230 00:11:36,651 --> 00:11:39,718 No. After I hosed you down with the beverage gun, I brought you back here. 231 00:11:39,810 --> 00:11:41,528 I better not have gotten burned. 232 00:11:45,165 --> 00:11:46,990 Did any of you write that? 233 00:11:47,213 --> 00:11:50,754 "Hi. I'm Ted. If lost, please call..." 234 00:11:51,099 --> 00:11:52,794 Whose number is that? 235 00:11:52,904 --> 00:11:54,976 I don't know. 236 00:11:55,063 --> 00:11:57,411 Dude, call it. 237 00:11:57,683 --> 00:11:59,309 Ooh, hold on, I'm gonna make some popcorn. 238 00:12:03,489 --> 00:12:05,494 Ooh. Okay, you can call now. 239 00:12:05,575 --> 00:12:07,860 God, this is intense. I love it. 240 00:12:11,243 --> 00:12:12,058 Hello? 241 00:12:12,161 --> 00:12:14,585 Uh... hi. Who's this? 242 00:12:14,676 --> 00:12:16,358 You called me. Who's this? 243 00:12:16,698 --> 00:12:18,450 It's Ted. 244 00:12:18,554 --> 00:12:20,473 It's Carl from the bar. 245 00:12:21,156 --> 00:12:22,872 And then Carl filled us in. 246 00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:25,169 Barney, you've always taken care of me. 247 00:12:25,260 --> 00:12:27,751 You are a gentlemen and a scholar. 248 00:12:27,936 --> 00:12:30,725 Go into my stable and take my finest stallion. 249 00:12:30,783 --> 00:12:33,533 He's yours. His name is Windjammer. 250 00:12:34,843 --> 00:12:36,331 Sleep it off, bro. 251 00:12:38,547 --> 00:12:41,348 - I'm back, baby doll! - Yeah. 252 00:12:42,707 --> 00:12:46,794 And I... am gonna throw up. 253 00:12:48,394 --> 00:12:49,715 I threw up? 254 00:12:49,915 --> 00:12:51,421 Oh, my streak is over. 255 00:12:51,505 --> 00:12:54,268 Vomit-free since '05 doesn't sound good. 256 00:12:55,143 --> 00:12:56,516 Sorry, Carl. Go on. 257 00:12:57,751 --> 00:13:03,983 Carl... did you know the word "karaoke" is Japanese for "empty orchestra"? 258 00:13:04,091 --> 00:13:06,435 Isn't that hauntingly beautiful? 259 00:13:07,243 --> 00:13:09,067 Are you a vampire? 260 00:13:09,687 --> 00:13:11,266 All right, I'm cutting you off. 261 00:13:11,356 --> 00:13:12,960 Go home and get some sleep, Ted. 262 00:13:13,054 --> 00:13:15,385 Yeah, the sun's gonna come up soon. 263 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:18,026 Wouldn't want to be around for that, would we? 264 00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:21,573 Hey, how easy do you think it would be to sneak into the zoo? 265 00:13:21,650 --> 00:13:23,984 I have to see some penguins, like, right now. 266 00:13:24,380 --> 00:13:25,569 All right, give me your arm. 267 00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:27,242 Okay. 268 00:13:27,630 --> 00:13:30,668 This way, if you pass out in the gutter... 269 00:13:30,770 --> 00:13:32,263 It tickles. 270 00:13:32,835 --> 00:13:36,390 someone will call me, and I will come get you. 271 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:37,720 Thanks, Carl. 272 00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:41,626 We can't just be friends. We're attracted to each other, and we both know it. 273 00:13:41,678 --> 00:13:42,903 Excuse me? 274 00:13:43,290 --> 00:13:45,877 Me and Robin, me and Robin. 275 00:13:45,953 --> 00:13:47,396 I have to make one more call. 276 00:13:48,081 --> 00:13:49,348 Yeah, this'll go good. 277 00:13:53,796 --> 00:13:55,684 Hey, it's me again. 278 00:13:56,296 --> 00:13:58,194 Look, who are we kidding? 279 00:13:58,297 --> 00:14:00,032 You and I are both attracted to each other. 280 00:14:00,114 --> 00:14:04,535 We're young, we're drunk— half of us anyway— and we only get one life. 281 00:14:04,618 --> 00:14:06,915 So, why don't you come over to my apartment right now, 282 00:14:06,996 --> 00:14:09,577 and we'll think of something stupid to do together? 283 00:14:09,778 --> 00:14:10,841 Really? 284 00:14:10,945 --> 00:14:11,825 Great. 285 00:14:11,911 --> 00:14:13,192 Wait. Really? 286 00:14:13,661 --> 00:14:14,841 Great. 287 00:14:15,371 --> 00:14:16,708 Thanks, Carl. 288 00:14:17,865 --> 00:14:19,118 It's Robin. 289 00:14:19,230 --> 00:14:21,262 That's Robin in there. 290 00:14:22,834 --> 00:14:24,173 Did you guys...? 291 00:14:29,873 --> 00:14:32,037 Oh, come on. You've got to give me this one. 292 00:14:32,106 --> 00:14:35,158 Those five shots got you further with Robin than your brain ever did. 293 00:14:35,257 --> 00:14:36,716 See what happens when you don't think? 294 00:14:36,799 --> 00:14:40,863 You do. More importantly, you do Robin. 295 00:14:41,298 --> 00:14:42,577 Come on. 296 00:14:44,420 --> 00:14:45,834 All right, right over here. 297 00:14:46,885 --> 00:14:49,141 But, uh, still, what does this mean? 298 00:14:49,243 --> 00:14:50,333 Are we dating now? 299 00:14:50,426 --> 00:14:52,904 I-I mean, I never pictured it going down this way, but... 300 00:14:52,982 --> 00:14:54,911 maybe that's how it had to happen. I mean, think about it... 301 00:14:54,989 --> 00:14:57,405 Someone get him a shot. He's thinking again. 302 00:14:57,694 --> 00:15:01,446 You know what? Hold on, man. Maybe it's not such a bad idea to think about this one. 303 00:15:01,516 --> 00:15:05,315 You and Robin went down this road before. You got dinged up really bad. 304 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:08,929 You know who might have something to say about Ted's future with Robin? 305 00:15:09,018 --> 00:15:09,952 Robin. 306 00:15:10,090 --> 00:15:11,451 Go wake her up. 307 00:15:11,539 --> 00:15:13,373 Wake her up and say what? 308 00:15:13,498 --> 00:15:15,030 Daddy's home. 309 00:15:19,170 --> 00:15:20,431 Good luck, buddy. 310 00:15:28,604 --> 00:15:29,556 Hello. 311 00:15:29,674 --> 00:15:31,047 Ted, it's Robin. 312 00:15:35,422 --> 00:15:36,656 Are you sure? 313 00:15:40,028 --> 00:15:43,647 Hey, Robin, how are you? 314 00:15:43,737 --> 00:15:47,405 Ted, I think you and I should have a talk about those phone calls last night. 315 00:15:47,485 --> 00:15:49,997 - Do you mind if I swing by? - Ask her about the pineapple. 316 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:51,904 - Uh, yeah, sure, come on over. - Thanks. 317 00:15:52,001 --> 00:15:53,670 No. Wait, d-d-don't come... 318 00:15:54,171 --> 00:15:55,905 She's coming over. Crap! 319 00:15:55,994 --> 00:16:00,172 Wait. This is killing me. We have to find out who that girl is. 320 00:16:00,702 --> 00:16:01,747 Trudy. 321 00:16:02,873 --> 00:16:05,478 My name is Trudy. 322 00:16:08,909 --> 00:16:11,103 And then, Trudy filled us in. 323 00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:13,598 I'm just surprised you didn't dump him sooner. 324 00:16:13,676 --> 00:16:17,091 I know. It's two years of my life I'm never getting back. 325 00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:21,606 A little part of me wants to just jump the bones of the next guy I see. 326 00:16:22,703 --> 00:16:24,133 Daddy's home. 327 00:16:24,977 --> 00:16:26,698 Or the one after that. 328 00:16:27,171 --> 00:16:30,384 Okay, fair enough. I've got to prove a point to a friend, so, 329 00:16:30,499 --> 00:16:35,247 you just gave me your number... and your name is Amy. 330 00:16:35,566 --> 00:16:36,557 Ladies. 331 00:16:37,957 --> 00:16:40,531 I love everyone in this bar! 332 00:16:41,016 --> 00:16:43,143 Look at that idiot go. 333 00:16:43,255 --> 00:16:44,747 He's kind of cute. 334 00:16:52,073 --> 00:16:54,227 What are you doing in the men's room? 335 00:16:55,052 --> 00:16:57,141 What am I doing in the ladies' room? 336 00:16:57,506 --> 00:17:00,808 All right, I came in here, 'cause I thought I was gonna throw up. 337 00:17:00,889 --> 00:17:01,840 Did you? 338 00:17:03,552 --> 00:17:05,230 I did not. 339 00:17:06,257 --> 00:17:09,645 And the streak continues— vomit-free since '93. 340 00:17:12,027 --> 00:17:13,414 I'm sorry, Trudy. Go on. 341 00:17:13,792 --> 00:17:15,420 I liked your performance. 342 00:17:15,501 --> 00:17:17,100 What, the karaoke? 343 00:17:17,352 --> 00:17:19,579 Domo arigato. 344 00:17:19,847 --> 00:17:21,241 I wish I had your guts. 345 00:17:21,327 --> 00:17:24,092 Getting up and making a complete idiot of myself. 346 00:17:24,188 --> 00:17:25,545 So, do it. 347 00:17:25,636 --> 00:17:26,884 I don't know. 348 00:17:27,224 --> 00:17:30,026 Still, I've had a pretty serious week. 349 00:17:30,102 --> 00:17:32,486 I could sure stand to do something stupid. 350 00:17:32,584 --> 00:17:34,576 I'm something stupid. Do me. 351 00:17:35,379 --> 00:17:36,582 You're funny. 352 00:17:36,987 --> 00:17:38,719 Hey, can I call you sometime? 353 00:17:38,867 --> 00:17:39,998 Okay. 354 00:17:41,094 --> 00:17:42,137 Here, let me. 355 00:17:44,621 --> 00:17:46,780 Why do they call it karaoke, anyhow? 356 00:17:46,867 --> 00:17:49,612 Was it invented by a woman named Carrie Okey? 357 00:17:50,062 --> 00:17:52,261 These are the kinds of things I think about. 358 00:17:52,481 --> 00:17:56,785 Karaoke is Japanese for "empty orchestra." 359 00:17:58,814 --> 00:18:00,905 That's hauntingly beautiful. 360 00:18:03,811 --> 00:18:05,388 Hey, it works. 361 00:18:05,604 --> 00:18:07,494 Then I guess you're gonna have to call me. 362 00:18:10,300 --> 00:18:12,143 I got to make one more call. 363 00:18:13,648 --> 00:18:14,650 Hello? 364 00:18:15,006 --> 00:18:16,771 Hey, it's me again. 365 00:18:16,861 --> 00:18:17,570 Hey. 366 00:18:17,654 --> 00:18:19,339 Look, who are we kidding? 367 00:18:19,433 --> 00:18:21,174 You and I are both attracted to each other. 368 00:18:21,273 --> 00:18:23,061 We're-We're young, we're drunk— 369 00:18:23,158 --> 00:18:25,843 half of us, anyway— and we only get one life. 370 00:18:25,929 --> 00:18:28,251 So, I came over here. 371 00:18:28,443 --> 00:18:31,736 And now, I'm really, really embarrassed. 372 00:18:33,086 --> 00:18:35,341 Damn it, Trudy! What about the pineapple? 373 00:18:35,439 --> 00:18:37,326 Sorry. Sorry. Sorry! 374 00:18:41,095 --> 00:18:45,164 Ah, Robin's here. Um, look, Trudy, I need you to hide in my bedroom. 375 00:18:45,266 --> 00:18:46,268 Why? Is that your girlfriend? 376 00:18:46,361 --> 00:18:49,401 Ah, no, that's not my girlfriend. Um, look, it's complicated. 377 00:18:49,464 --> 00:18:51,573 Oh, you're married. Yeah, I know. I can't believe I did this. 378 00:18:51,654 --> 00:18:55,409 No, no, no, I-I'm not married. Um... I'll explain after you hide. 379 00:19:02,331 --> 00:19:03,164 Hey. 380 00:19:03,290 --> 00:19:03,933 Hi, guys. 381 00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:06,457 - Hey, Robin, top of the morning. - Hi, Robin. Good sweater. 382 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:11,510 Um, sorry I kept calling you like that. I was pretty drunk. 383 00:19:11,599 --> 00:19:12,727 Uh, no kidding. 384 00:19:12,815 --> 00:19:14,852 Those calls were really weird. 385 00:19:15,269 --> 00:19:17,521 Look, Ted, maybe we need to talk. 386 00:19:17,936 --> 00:19:20,460 - Let's go get a snack. - I love to snack. 387 00:19:20,558 --> 00:19:21,626 I'm good. 388 00:19:26,271 --> 00:19:29,236 Come on, those calls weren't that weird. 389 00:19:35,201 --> 00:19:37,404 Robin! Come hang out! 390 00:19:37,488 --> 00:19:39,699 Okay, I'm gonna make this sound till you come hang out. 391 00:19:46,274 --> 00:19:48,545 That goes on for three and a half minutes. 392 00:19:48,803 --> 00:19:49,987 Without a breath? 393 00:19:50,068 --> 00:19:51,933 That's got to be some kind of record. 394 00:19:52,041 --> 00:19:54,990 Oh, Ted, you can't do this. Please. 395 00:19:55,070 --> 00:19:57,670 We agreed to be friends, and now you're making it all confusing. 396 00:19:57,744 --> 00:20:01,182 No, I'm not. Look, I-I just turned off my brain for the night. 397 00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:03,676 Nothing's changed. You've moved on. I've moved on. 398 00:20:03,764 --> 00:20:05,988 Really? You've moved on? 399 00:20:06,112 --> 00:20:08,135 Yes. What, you don't believe me? 400 00:20:09,045 --> 00:20:10,983 Oh. Uh, okay. 401 00:20:11,821 --> 00:20:13,895 Trudy, come on out. 402 00:20:14,057 --> 00:20:15,617 You are gonna laugh. 403 00:20:15,698 --> 00:20:17,500 Wait. You were with someone last night? 404 00:20:17,580 --> 00:20:19,927 Yeah, Trudy. She's cool. 405 00:20:20,355 --> 00:20:21,728 Trudy, come on out. 406 00:20:22,654 --> 00:20:24,862 Yeah, seriously, it's okay. 407 00:20:25,949 --> 00:20:27,572 This is so Trudy. 408 00:20:28,347 --> 00:20:29,940 She's really shy... 409 00:20:30,173 --> 00:20:31,245 I think. 410 00:20:32,273 --> 00:20:33,305 Trudy? 411 00:20:39,381 --> 00:20:42,803 Hi, Trudy. I'm Robin. It's nice to meet you. 412 00:20:43,667 --> 00:20:45,412 You're right. She is shy. 413 00:20:45,564 --> 00:20:48,690 I'm not making this up. She-she must have climbed out the fire escape. 414 00:20:49,336 --> 00:20:52,592 Whatever. Whatever! I-I don't care what you think. 415 00:20:52,936 --> 00:20:54,977 Then why'd you hide her from me? 416 00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:57,926 Wow. You're good. 417 00:20:58,074 --> 00:21:00,332 Anyone ever tell you you should be on 60 Minutes? 418 00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:02,748 Yes. You did... last night. 419 00:21:02,841 --> 00:21:04,024 Really? 420 00:21:07,204 --> 00:21:08,583 Get some sleep, Ted. 421 00:21:08,670 --> 00:21:09,962 You had a long night. 422 00:21:10,495 --> 00:21:11,843 And don't feel bad. 423 00:21:12,012 --> 00:21:13,953 I've woken up with worse. 424 00:21:20,556 --> 00:21:23,671 I left Trudy a message, but she never called me back. 425 00:21:24,066 --> 00:21:26,129 That's just how life works sometimes. 426 00:21:26,214 --> 00:21:27,871 You turn off your brain for a night, 427 00:21:27,972 --> 00:21:30,800 and all your left with the next day is a bad hangover, 428 00:21:30,900 --> 00:21:32,391 a sprained ankle... 429 00:21:34,079 --> 00:21:37,106 Oh, we never found out where that pineapple came from, 430 00:21:37,215 --> 00:21:38,818 but it was delicious. 431 00:21:38,945 --> 00:21:40,296 Transcript : Raceman Subtitles : Willow's Team www.forom.com