1 00:00:14,184 --> 00:00:17,563 Kids, 2 00:00:14,184 --> 00:00:17,563 in life there are a lot of 3 00:00:14,184 --> 00:00:17,563 big romantic moments, 4 00:00:17,604 --> 00:00:19,481 and they make 5 00:00:17,604 --> 00:00:19,481 life worth living. 6 00:00:19,523 --> 00:00:20,733 But here's the problem. 7 00:00:20,774 --> 00:00:23,151 Moments pass. 8 00:00:23,193 --> 00:00:25,404 And lurking just 9 00:00:23,193 --> 00:00:25,404 around the corner 10 00:00:23,193 --> 00:00:25,404 from those moments 11 00:00:25,445 --> 00:00:29,449 is a cruel, unshaven 12 00:00:25,445 --> 00:00:29,449 bastard named reality. 13 00:00:29,491 --> 00:00:31,952 And so, back in 2006, 14 00:00:31,993 --> 00:00:34,454 on the night of 15 00:00:31,993 --> 00:00:34,454 Claudia and Stuart's wedding, 16 00:00:34,496 --> 00:00:36,289 reality was the enemy. 17 00:00:36,331 --> 00:00:38,250 Wow, the Peace Corps? 18 00:00:38,291 --> 00:00:41,336 Yeah, I ship out tomorrow. 19 00:00:38,291 --> 00:00:41,336 Two years. 20 00:00:42,295 --> 00:00:43,881 You know, some people say 21 00:00:43,923 --> 00:00:46,341 the Peace Corps is 22 00:00:43,923 --> 00:00:46,341 the most noble thing 23 00:00:43,923 --> 00:00:46,341 a person can do. 24 00:00:46,383 --> 00:00:48,635 To those people 25 00:00:46,383 --> 00:00:48,635 I say, "Is it?" 26 00:00:48,677 --> 00:00:52,138 And usually, 27 00:00:48,677 --> 00:00:52,138 they say, "Yes, it is." 28 00:00:52,180 --> 00:00:54,266 But, Barney, 29 00:00:52,180 --> 00:00:54,266 they are so right. 30 00:00:54,307 --> 00:00:56,226 Wish there was 31 00:00:54,307 --> 00:00:56,226 something I could do. 32 00:00:56,268 --> 00:01:00,940 Oh, Tanya, 33 00:00:56,268 --> 00:01:00,940 I'm so glad you said that. 34 00:01:00,981 --> 00:01:04,276 This wasn't how I'd thought 35 00:01:00,981 --> 00:01:04,276 the night would turn out. 36 00:01:04,317 --> 00:01:07,738 This was finally 37 00:01:04,317 --> 00:01:07,738 supposed to be 38 00:01:04,317 --> 00:01:07,738 my big moment with Robin, 39 00:01:07,780 --> 00:01:10,031 but then reality came along. 40 00:01:10,073 --> 00:01:13,660 Robin got called up 41 00:01:10,073 --> 00:01:13,660 last minute to anchor 42 00:01:10,073 --> 00:01:13,660 the 11:00 news. 43 00:01:13,702 --> 00:01:15,662 It was her big break. 44 00:01:15,704 --> 00:01:18,457 And I went to 45 00:01:15,704 --> 00:01:18,457 the wedding stag. 46 00:01:18,498 --> 00:01:20,709 Then, 47 00:01:18,498 --> 00:01:20,709 when I least expected it... 48 00:01:31,261 --> 00:01:34,306 Hey, where the hell 49 00:01:31,261 --> 00:01:34,306 did you disappear to 50 00:01:31,261 --> 00:01:34,306 last night? 51 00:01:34,347 --> 00:01:37,601 I had the most 52 00:01:34,347 --> 00:01:37,601 amazing night ever. 53 00:01:37,643 --> 00:01:39,019 Tell me about it. 54 00:01:39,060 --> 00:01:40,395 That cake! 55 00:01:39,060 --> 00:01:40,395 Best cake I ever had. 56 00:01:40,437 --> 00:01:42,606 Seriously. 57 00:01:40,437 --> 00:01:42,606 My stomach was like, 58 00:01:42,648 --> 00:01:45,484 "Hey, bro, I don't know 59 00:01:42,648 --> 00:01:45,484 what you're eating, 60 00:01:42,648 --> 00:01:45,484 'cause I don't have any eyes, 61 00:01:45,525 --> 00:01:48,153 "but it's basically awesome. 62 00:01:45,525 --> 00:01:48,153 So keep sending it 63 00:01:45,525 --> 00:01:48,153 down gullet alley." 64 00:01:48,194 --> 00:01:50,280 Yeah, I know. 65 00:01:48,194 --> 00:01:50,280 My stomach was like, 66 00:01:50,322 --> 00:01:53,158 "Girlfriend, 67 00:01:50,322 --> 00:01:53,158 we don't always get along, 68 00:01:50,322 --> 00:01:53,158 but that cake..." 69 00:01:53,199 --> 00:01:54,409 Lily? 70 00:01:55,327 --> 00:01:56,453 Oh, right. 71 00:01:56,495 --> 00:01:59,289 Most amazing night ever, 72 00:01:56,495 --> 00:01:59,289 and go. 73 00:01:59,331 --> 00:02:02,042 You know, 74 00:01:59,331 --> 00:02:02,042 I should tell you, 75 00:01:59,331 --> 00:02:02,042 I have a rule. 76 00:02:02,083 --> 00:02:04,336 I never hook up 77 00:02:02,083 --> 00:02:04,336 at weddings. 78 00:02:04,377 --> 00:02:07,006 I'm guessing you haven't 79 00:02:04,377 --> 00:02:07,006 always had this rule. 80 00:02:07,047 --> 00:02:10,133 Well, here's the thing. 81 00:02:07,047 --> 00:02:10,133 Th-Those big, 82 00:02:07,047 --> 00:02:10,133 romantic moments, 83 00:02:10,175 --> 00:02:13,929 they're great 84 00:02:10,175 --> 00:02:13,929 when they happen, 85 00:02:10,175 --> 00:02:13,929 but they're not real. 86 00:02:13,971 --> 00:02:16,389 Exactly. Exactly. 87 00:02:13,971 --> 00:02:16,389 Like... Like just now, 88 00:02:16,431 --> 00:02:18,391 when I saw you doing 89 00:02:16,431 --> 00:02:18,391 the Chicken Dance out there, 90 00:02:18,433 --> 00:02:20,769 I'm not gonna lie to you, 91 00:02:18,433 --> 00:02:20,769 big time thunderbolt. 92 00:02:20,811 --> 00:02:22,771 Hmm. You should 93 00:02:20,811 --> 00:02:22,771 see me tap dance. 94 00:02:22,813 --> 00:02:24,439 You'd be down 95 00:02:22,813 --> 00:02:24,439 on bended knee. 96 00:02:24,481 --> 00:02:26,775 Sadly, 97 00:02:24,481 --> 00:02:26,775 not out of character. 98 00:02:26,817 --> 00:02:29,319 But, I know now, 99 00:02:26,817 --> 00:02:29,319 it's just a mirage. 100 00:02:29,361 --> 00:02:30,487 Wedding goggles. 101 00:02:30,529 --> 00:02:32,447 Exactly. 102 00:02:32,489 --> 00:02:34,700 And that, in a nutshell, 103 00:02:32,489 --> 00:02:34,700 is why I'm not putting 104 00:02:32,489 --> 00:02:34,700 the moves on you. 105 00:02:34,741 --> 00:02:36,201 This isn't the moves? 106 00:02:36,242 --> 00:02:37,744 What, you... 107 00:02:36,242 --> 00:02:37,744 You think this is the moves? 108 00:02:37,786 --> 00:02:39,621 Believe me, 109 00:02:37,786 --> 00:02:39,621 you'd know the moves. 110 00:02:39,663 --> 00:02:42,415 People 10 tables away 111 00:02:39,663 --> 00:02:42,415 would know the moves. 112 00:02:42,457 --> 00:02:43,792 Ah, that's too bad. 113 00:02:43,834 --> 00:02:45,878 Tell me about it. 114 00:02:45,919 --> 00:02:48,881 You know, I think 115 00:02:45,919 --> 00:02:48,881 I have a solution. 116 00:02:48,922 --> 00:02:50,632 Interested. 117 00:02:50,674 --> 00:02:54,302 And to preface this, 118 00:02:50,674 --> 00:02:54,302 we're not gonna 119 00:02:50,674 --> 00:02:54,302 sleep together tonight. 120 00:02:54,344 --> 00:02:56,513 Less interested. 121 00:02:56,555 --> 00:02:58,640 Go ahead. 122 00:02:56,555 --> 00:02:58,640 Okay. 123 00:02:58,682 --> 00:03:03,144 So the thing that 124 00:02:58,682 --> 00:03:03,144 always screws it up 125 00:02:58,682 --> 00:03:03,144 is the next day. Right? 126 00:03:03,186 --> 00:03:06,899 So, why don't we just 127 00:03:03,186 --> 00:03:06,899 cut that part out? 128 00:03:06,940 --> 00:03:08,108 What are you saying? 129 00:03:08,149 --> 00:03:10,903 I'm saying, 130 00:03:08,149 --> 00:03:10,903 I'm here, you're here. 131 00:03:10,944 --> 00:03:13,572 This is a big, 132 00:03:10,944 --> 00:03:13,572 romantic wedding. 133 00:03:13,613 --> 00:03:16,992 Why don't we just dance 134 00:03:13,613 --> 00:03:16,992 and have a great time? 135 00:03:17,034 --> 00:03:20,328 And then when it's over, 136 00:03:17,034 --> 00:03:20,328 never see each other again. 137 00:03:22,122 --> 00:03:25,042 Unless... 138 00:03:22,122 --> 00:03:25,042 No, no unless. 139 00:03:25,084 --> 00:03:29,046 No emails, no phone numbers, 140 00:03:25,084 --> 00:03:29,046 not even names. 141 00:03:29,088 --> 00:03:34,801 Tonight, we will make a memory 142 00:03:29,088 --> 00:03:34,801 that will never be tarnished. 143 00:03:34,843 --> 00:03:37,637 And then, 144 00:03:34,843 --> 00:03:37,637 when we're old and gray, 145 00:03:37,679 --> 00:03:39,932 we'll look back 146 00:03:37,679 --> 00:03:39,932 on this night, 147 00:03:39,973 --> 00:03:41,808 and it'll be perfect. 148 00:03:43,184 --> 00:03:44,436 Wow. 149 00:03:46,605 --> 00:03:47,940 Okay, I'm in. 150 00:03:46,605 --> 00:03:47,940 Okay. 151 00:03:47,981 --> 00:03:50,233 I guess... 152 00:03:47,981 --> 00:03:50,233 What, we'll need fake names? 153 00:03:50,275 --> 00:03:53,028 Um, you can call me Buttercup. 154 00:03:54,029 --> 00:03:55,697 Pleased to meet 155 00:03:54,029 --> 00:03:55,697 you, Buttercup. 156 00:03:55,739 --> 00:03:57,866 I'm Lando Calrissian. 157 00:03:59,325 --> 00:04:00,744 Wow, this is kind of exciting. 158 00:04:00,786 --> 00:04:02,495 Our names will 159 00:04:00,786 --> 00:04:02,495 forever be shrouded in... 160 00:04:02,537 --> 00:04:04,164 Ted, Ted, Ted, look. 161 00:04:02,537 --> 00:04:04,164 I got a bridesmaid. 162 00:04:04,205 --> 00:04:06,541 Ted, look. Look, Ted. 163 00:04:04,205 --> 00:04:06,541 The second hottest bridesmaid! 164 00:04:06,583 --> 00:04:07,918 Ted, look. See you, Ted. 165 00:04:11,838 --> 00:04:13,090 So, I'm Ted. 166 00:04:13,132 --> 00:04:15,675 Victoria. 167 00:04:15,717 --> 00:04:17,928 But no last names. 168 00:04:15,717 --> 00:04:17,928 No last names. 169 00:04:19,554 --> 00:04:21,932 Oh, what is wrong with you? 170 00:04:21,974 --> 00:04:26,186 Yeah, dude, 171 00:04:21,974 --> 00:04:26,186 that is just like 172 00:04:21,974 --> 00:04:26,186 a weenie ass idea. 173 00:04:26,227 --> 00:04:28,855 No, it was awesome. 174 00:04:26,227 --> 00:04:28,855 I had a great night. 175 00:04:28,897 --> 00:04:30,190 I'm never going 176 00:04:28,897 --> 00:04:30,190 to see her again. 177 00:04:30,231 --> 00:04:31,775 And there's no way to ruin it. 178 00:04:31,817 --> 00:04:34,987 Ted, how do 179 00:04:31,817 --> 00:04:34,987 I explain this to you? 180 00:04:35,028 --> 00:04:36,989 Last night I ate 181 00:04:35,028 --> 00:04:36,989 the best cake of my life. 182 00:04:37,030 --> 00:04:39,282 Now you think 183 00:04:37,030 --> 00:04:39,282 I'm gonna let that cake 184 00:04:37,030 --> 00:04:39,282 out of my life? Hell, no. 185 00:04:39,324 --> 00:04:41,118 I'm gonna find out 186 00:04:39,324 --> 00:04:41,118 what bakery made that cake, 187 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:43,036 and damn it, 188 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:43,036 I'm gonna get some more cake. 189 00:04:43,078 --> 00:04:45,164 That cake really 190 00:04:43,078 --> 00:04:45,164 got to you, huh? 191 00:04:45,205 --> 00:04:46,748 It haunts me. 192 00:04:47,791 --> 00:04:50,002 So, what happened next? 193 00:04:50,043 --> 00:04:53,672 Okay, ground rules 194 00:04:50,043 --> 00:04:53,672 have been established. 195 00:04:50,043 --> 00:04:53,672 Mmm-hmm. 196 00:04:53,713 --> 00:04:57,009 Now, let's see 197 00:04:53,713 --> 00:04:57,009 some of these moves 198 00:04:53,713 --> 00:04:57,009 I've heard so much about. 199 00:05:03,682 --> 00:05:05,725 Wait, wait, wait, 200 00:05:03,682 --> 00:05:05,725 wait, wait, wait. 201 00:05:05,767 --> 00:05:08,561 Let's do all the single ladies 202 00:05:05,767 --> 00:05:08,561 in this joint a big favor 203 00:05:08,603 --> 00:05:10,147 and steal the bouquet. 204 00:05:10,189 --> 00:05:13,066 Yes, but we'll need 205 00:05:10,189 --> 00:05:13,066 a diversion. 206 00:05:14,026 --> 00:05:15,610 Kiss! 207 00:05:15,652 --> 00:05:16,903 Kiss! Kiss! 208 00:05:16,945 --> 00:05:19,781 Kiss, come on. Kiss! Kiss! 209 00:05:19,823 --> 00:05:21,116 Go, go, go. 210 00:05:21,158 --> 00:05:23,827 So, that's what happened 211 00:05:21,158 --> 00:05:23,827 to the bouquet. 212 00:05:23,869 --> 00:05:25,829 You know, 213 00:05:23,869 --> 00:05:25,829 good for Victoria. 214 00:05:25,871 --> 00:05:28,123 It's such an evil tradition. 215 00:05:28,165 --> 00:05:29,791 You're not gonna 216 00:05:28,165 --> 00:05:29,791 do it at your wedding? 217 00:05:29,833 --> 00:05:32,085 Oh, yeah! I'm gonna 218 00:05:29,833 --> 00:05:32,085 take that flower grenade 219 00:05:32,127 --> 00:05:33,962 and chuck it into 220 00:05:32,127 --> 00:05:33,962 the crowd and scream, 221 00:05:34,004 --> 00:05:35,088 "Crawl for it, bitches!" 222 00:05:36,589 --> 00:05:39,092 It's just what girls do. 223 00:05:39,134 --> 00:05:41,053 So, where'd you guys go? 224 00:05:41,094 --> 00:05:43,346 (TED PLAYING THE ENTERTAINER 225 00:05:41,094 --> 00:05:43,346 ON THE PIANO) 226 00:05:51,646 --> 00:05:53,398 Very nice. 227 00:05:51,646 --> 00:05:53,398 Yeah? 228 00:05:56,151 --> 00:05:58,695 Okay, I don't really know 229 00:05:56,151 --> 00:05:58,695 how to tap dance. 230 00:05:56,151 --> 00:05:58,695 I couldn't tell. 231 00:06:01,156 --> 00:06:04,450 Oh, it's too bad 232 00:06:01,156 --> 00:06:04,450 you're not gonna 233 00:06:01,156 --> 00:06:04,450 get some tonight! 234 00:06:04,492 --> 00:06:07,204 Oh, if I wanted some, 235 00:06:04,492 --> 00:06:07,204 I could get some. 236 00:06:07,246 --> 00:06:08,747 No, you couldn't. 237 00:06:08,788 --> 00:06:10,790 You're a dude. 238 00:06:10,832 --> 00:06:13,210 I could get some. 239 00:06:10,832 --> 00:06:13,210 You could totally get some. 240 00:06:18,381 --> 00:06:19,799 We're not gonna kiss tonight. 241 00:06:22,468 --> 00:06:26,265 I mean, if... if we kiss, 242 00:06:22,468 --> 00:06:26,265 all of this becomes real. 243 00:06:26,306 --> 00:06:29,809 You... you might use 244 00:06:26,306 --> 00:06:29,809 too much tongue, 245 00:06:26,306 --> 00:06:29,809 I might not use enough. 246 00:06:29,851 --> 00:06:32,395 And then suddenly, 247 00:06:29,851 --> 00:06:32,395 poof, spell's broken. 248 00:06:32,437 --> 00:06:34,606 I will use exactly 249 00:06:32,437 --> 00:06:34,606 the right amount of tongue. 250 00:06:36,900 --> 00:06:38,318 Okay, how about this? 251 00:06:40,528 --> 00:06:45,242 The best part 252 00:06:40,528 --> 00:06:45,242 of any first kiss 253 00:06:40,528 --> 00:06:45,242 is the lead up to it. 254 00:06:45,284 --> 00:06:48,161 The moment right 255 00:06:45,284 --> 00:06:48,161 before the lips touch. 256 00:06:48,203 --> 00:06:51,623 It's like a big drum roll. 257 00:06:51,664 --> 00:06:55,168 So, how about tonight 258 00:06:55,210 --> 00:06:57,420 we just stick 259 00:06:55,210 --> 00:06:57,420 with the drum roll. 260 00:06:59,589 --> 00:07:01,633 Okay. 261 00:06:59,589 --> 00:07:01,633 But we can't kiss. 262 00:07:02,634 --> 00:07:03,969 Okay. 263 00:07:24,364 --> 00:07:27,367 A drum roll? That's it? 264 00:07:27,408 --> 00:07:31,496 So, what? You just... 265 00:07:27,408 --> 00:07:31,496 You said good night, 266 00:07:27,408 --> 00:07:31,496 came home, 267 00:07:31,537 --> 00:07:33,206 and performed a drum solo? 268 00:07:34,207 --> 00:07:36,626 Oh, Ted, 269 00:07:34,207 --> 00:07:36,626 you're such a doof! 270 00:07:36,668 --> 00:07:38,670 I mean, 271 00:07:36,668 --> 00:07:38,670 this girl sounds amazing. 272 00:07:38,711 --> 00:07:40,546 She was completely amazing. 273 00:07:40,588 --> 00:07:42,757 She was amazing and funny 274 00:07:42,799 --> 00:07:45,093 and we connected 275 00:07:42,799 --> 00:07:45,093 on every level, 276 00:07:45,135 --> 00:07:46,845 and I'm never gonna 277 00:07:45,135 --> 00:07:46,845 see her again. 278 00:07:48,638 --> 00:07:50,140 Damn it, 279 00:07:48,638 --> 00:07:50,140 I have to see her again. 280 00:07:50,182 --> 00:07:52,100 Yes! 281 00:07:50,182 --> 00:07:52,100 Yes! 282 00:07:52,142 --> 00:07:53,268 So let's get to work, man. 283 00:07:53,310 --> 00:07:54,853 What else do you 284 00:07:53,310 --> 00:07:54,853 know about her? 285 00:07:54,894 --> 00:07:57,397 Nothing, her name's Victoria. 286 00:07:54,894 --> 00:07:57,397 That's all I got. 287 00:07:57,438 --> 00:07:59,107 Wait, Claudia. 288 00:07:57,438 --> 00:07:59,107 Claudia would know. 289 00:07:59,149 --> 00:08:00,566 Well, Claudia's 290 00:07:59,149 --> 00:08:00,566 on her honeymoon. 291 00:08:00,608 --> 00:08:02,652 She'll be back in two weeks. 292 00:08:00,608 --> 00:08:02,652 Call her then. 293 00:08:02,694 --> 00:08:04,612 Yes, two weeks. Good idea. 294 00:08:04,654 --> 00:08:05,697 I'm calling her now. 295 00:08:05,738 --> 00:08:07,240 No, Ted. 296 00:08:07,282 --> 00:08:08,408 You don't mess 297 00:08:07,282 --> 00:08:08,408 with a honeymoon. 298 00:08:08,449 --> 00:08:09,742 Yeah, come on, dude. 299 00:08:09,784 --> 00:08:11,244 Ask her about the cake. 300 00:08:14,497 --> 00:08:16,666 Ted? 301 00:08:14,497 --> 00:08:16,666 Hey, Claudia! 302 00:08:16,708 --> 00:08:18,335 Great wedding, 303 00:08:16,708 --> 00:08:18,335 beautiful toast, 304 00:08:18,377 --> 00:08:20,503 touching stuff. 305 00:08:18,377 --> 00:08:20,503 How's the honeymoon? 306 00:08:20,545 --> 00:08:22,505 Listen, I'm calling 307 00:08:20,545 --> 00:08:22,505 because last night 308 00:08:20,545 --> 00:08:22,505 I met this girl, 309 00:08:22,547 --> 00:08:24,341 and I was wondering 310 00:08:22,547 --> 00:08:24,341 if you had... 311 00:08:24,383 --> 00:08:27,260 Oh, you have got to be 312 00:08:24,383 --> 00:08:27,260 freaking kidding me! 313 00:08:27,302 --> 00:08:28,678 Ah, here we go. 314 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:32,265 Twenty-four hours ago, 315 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:32,265 you were beg... begging me 316 00:08:32,307 --> 00:08:34,267 to bring some other girl 317 00:08:32,307 --> 00:08:34,267 to my wedding and now, 318 00:08:34,309 --> 00:08:35,394 what, you're over her? 319 00:08:36,311 --> 00:08:37,770 I've moved on. 320 00:08:37,812 --> 00:08:39,105 What was her name? 321 00:08:39,147 --> 00:08:40,481 Is it my fat cousin Lindsey? 322 00:08:40,523 --> 00:08:42,401 Don't be embarrassed. 323 00:08:40,523 --> 00:08:42,401 She has pretty eyes. 324 00:08:42,442 --> 00:08:45,404 Uh, No. Her name was Victoria. 325 00:08:42,442 --> 00:08:45,404 I don't know her last name. 326 00:08:45,445 --> 00:08:49,657 Well, lucky for you. 327 00:08:45,445 --> 00:08:49,657 I know that guest list 328 00:08:45,445 --> 00:08:49,657 backwards and forwards. 329 00:08:49,699 --> 00:08:51,617 Thank God! 330 00:08:51,659 --> 00:08:54,120 Unlucky for you, 331 00:08:51,659 --> 00:08:54,120 there was no Victoria 332 00:08:51,659 --> 00:08:54,120 at my wedding. Goodbye, Ted. 333 00:09:05,131 --> 00:09:07,633 There was no Victoria 334 00:09:05,131 --> 00:09:07,633 at the wedding. 335 00:09:07,675 --> 00:09:10,511 Maybe she used 336 00:09:07,675 --> 00:09:10,511 a second fake name. 337 00:09:10,553 --> 00:09:12,722 Oh, she's good. 338 00:09:10,553 --> 00:09:12,722 She's very good. 339 00:09:12,764 --> 00:09:14,349 Maybe she was a ghost. 340 00:09:14,391 --> 00:09:16,601 That's why she didn't 341 00:09:14,391 --> 00:09:16,601 want to kiss you. 342 00:09:16,642 --> 00:09:19,479 Because you'd just pass 343 00:09:16,642 --> 00:09:19,479 right through her and feel 344 00:09:16,642 --> 00:09:19,479 really cold for a second. 345 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,773 Oh, my God, 346 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,773 I just had a great idea 347 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,773 for a screenplay. 348 00:09:21,814 --> 00:09:24,401 Marshall, she was not a ghost. 349 00:09:24,443 --> 00:09:26,278 I know that 350 00:09:24,443 --> 00:09:26,278 she wasn't a ghost. 351 00:09:26,319 --> 00:09:29,906 She picked up a bouquet 352 00:09:26,319 --> 00:09:29,906 proving she had 353 00:09:26,319 --> 00:09:29,906 corporeal form. 354 00:09:29,948 --> 00:09:31,991 W-W-Wait! 355 00:09:29,948 --> 00:09:31,991 She was sitting across 356 00:09:29,948 --> 00:09:31,991 from a couple of bridesmaids. 357 00:09:32,033 --> 00:09:33,493 She must have been 358 00:09:32,033 --> 00:09:33,493 at their table. 359 00:09:33,534 --> 00:09:35,495 M-Maybe they know 360 00:09:33,534 --> 00:09:35,495 who she was. 361 00:09:35,536 --> 00:09:37,122 Great! 362 00:09:35,536 --> 00:09:37,122 So, how do we get in touch 363 00:09:35,536 --> 00:09:37,122 with the bridesmaids? 364 00:09:41,293 --> 00:09:43,711 This better be good. 365 00:09:41,293 --> 00:09:43,711 I'm about to enter Nirvana. 366 00:09:43,753 --> 00:09:45,713 By the way, I should get you 367 00:09:43,753 --> 00:09:45,713 Nirvana's phone number. 368 00:09:45,755 --> 00:09:47,924 She gives a great massage. 369 00:09:45,755 --> 00:09:47,924 Say what? 370 00:09:45,755 --> 00:09:47,924 Barney! 371 00:09:47,966 --> 00:09:49,926 Ow! 372 00:09:49,968 --> 00:09:51,470 I know the house rules. 373 00:09:51,511 --> 00:09:53,554 Es un chiste. 374 00:09:53,596 --> 00:09:56,349 Uh, listen, Barney. 375 00:09:53,596 --> 00:09:56,349 I... I saw you talking to 376 00:09:53,596 --> 00:09:56,349 that bridesmaid last night. 377 00:09:56,391 --> 00:09:57,683 Did you happen to 378 00:09:56,391 --> 00:09:57,683 get her phone number? 379 00:09:57,725 --> 00:09:59,394 You know I did. 380 00:09:59,436 --> 00:10:01,854 Great! Um, I'm gonna need you 381 00:09:59,436 --> 00:10:01,854 to call her for me. 382 00:10:01,896 --> 00:10:03,315 You know I won't. 383 00:10:04,274 --> 00:10:05,484 Why not? 384 00:10:05,525 --> 00:10:07,319 Because, we just 385 00:10:05,525 --> 00:10:07,319 hooked up last night. 386 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:09,279 I can't call the girl 387 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:09,279 the next day. 388 00:10:09,321 --> 00:10:12,324 I have to wait at least, 389 00:10:09,321 --> 00:10:12,324 like, forever. 390 00:10:12,365 --> 00:10:14,617 Oh, snap! 391 00:10:12,365 --> 00:10:14,617 Never gonna call her. 392 00:10:14,659 --> 00:10:17,120 Besides, she thinks 393 00:10:14,659 --> 00:10:17,120 I'm on my way to India. 394 00:10:17,162 --> 00:10:20,248 Oh, come on, Barney. 395 00:10:17,162 --> 00:10:20,248 It's for a good cause. 396 00:10:20,290 --> 00:10:25,628 Uh, Ted going all castrati 397 00:10:20,290 --> 00:10:25,628 over yet another girl 398 00:10:20,290 --> 00:10:25,628 is exactly not a good cause. 399 00:10:25,670 --> 00:10:28,214 Sorry, buddy, 400 00:10:25,670 --> 00:10:28,214 I wish I could help you. 401 00:10:25,670 --> 00:10:28,214 My hands are tied. 402 00:10:28,256 --> 00:10:29,674 Oh, no, wait, 403 00:10:28,256 --> 00:10:29,674 that was last night. 404 00:10:32,302 --> 00:10:34,429 Okay, Barney, 405 00:10:32,302 --> 00:10:34,429 I'll tell you 406 00:10:32,302 --> 00:10:34,429 what I'm gonna do. 407 00:10:34,471 --> 00:10:35,721 You make this call 408 00:10:35,763 --> 00:10:40,519 and I will go with you 409 00:10:35,763 --> 00:10:40,519 to Foxy Boxing. 410 00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:42,395 Really? 411 00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:42,395 Yeah. 412 00:10:42,437 --> 00:10:44,647 But, you always said 413 00:10:42,437 --> 00:10:44,647 the Foxy Boxing girls 414 00:10:42,437 --> 00:10:44,647 were neither foxy, 415 00:10:44,689 --> 00:10:46,149 nor good at boxing. 416 00:10:46,191 --> 00:10:48,193 I'm ready to be 417 00:10:46,191 --> 00:10:48,193 proven wrong. 418 00:10:48,234 --> 00:10:49,528 Tonight? 419 00:10:48,234 --> 00:10:49,528 Tonight! 420 00:10:49,569 --> 00:10:51,404 Dial. 421 00:10:51,446 --> 00:10:53,156 Yeah, Tanya. 422 00:10:51,446 --> 00:10:53,156 Turns out I don't leave 423 00:10:53,198 --> 00:10:55,074 for the Peace Corps 424 00:10:53,198 --> 00:10:55,074 until tomorrow. 425 00:10:55,116 --> 00:10:57,035 Yeah, I know. It sucks. 426 00:10:57,076 --> 00:10:59,662 Just one fewer day 427 00:10:57,076 --> 00:10:59,662 I get to help people. 428 00:10:59,704 --> 00:11:02,665 Anyway, this girl, 429 00:10:59,704 --> 00:11:02,665 any idea who she was? 430 00:11:02,707 --> 00:11:05,001 Hold on. 431 00:11:02,707 --> 00:11:05,001 What kind of shoes was she... 432 00:11:05,043 --> 00:11:06,545 No, Tanya, he's a dude. 433 00:11:06,586 --> 00:11:08,547 He's not gonna know 434 00:11:06,586 --> 00:11:08,547 what kind of shoes 435 00:11:06,586 --> 00:11:08,547 she was wearing. 436 00:11:08,588 --> 00:11:10,006 Actually... 437 00:11:10,048 --> 00:11:11,216 Oh, come on! 438 00:11:12,509 --> 00:11:13,634 Hey! 439 00:11:15,554 --> 00:11:17,556 So, what do you 440 00:11:15,554 --> 00:11:17,556 want to do next? 441 00:11:15,554 --> 00:11:17,556 Don't think! 442 00:11:17,597 --> 00:11:19,307 First thing that 443 00:11:17,597 --> 00:11:19,307 comes into your mind. 444 00:11:20,808 --> 00:11:23,269 Hold this. 445 00:11:24,187 --> 00:11:25,522 And this. 446 00:11:26,439 --> 00:11:27,524 Whoa! 447 00:11:28,483 --> 00:11:30,402 There she goes. 448 00:11:30,443 --> 00:11:35,865 Apparently, 449 00:11:30,443 --> 00:11:35,865 she was wearing brown shoes 450 00:11:35,907 --> 00:11:38,201 with little 451 00:11:35,907 --> 00:11:38,201 snowflakes on them. 452 00:11:39,869 --> 00:11:41,287 Yeah, they do sound cute. 453 00:11:42,247 --> 00:11:43,915 Any idea who... 454 00:11:44,999 --> 00:11:46,543 Okay. Well, thanks anyway. 455 00:11:46,585 --> 00:11:47,877 Yeah, you take care. 456 00:11:47,919 --> 00:11:49,087 What's... 457 00:11:49,128 --> 00:11:50,505 Tonight? 458 00:11:50,547 --> 00:11:53,049 Well, I'm shipping out 459 00:11:50,547 --> 00:11:53,049 pretty early. 460 00:11:53,091 --> 00:11:54,634 So, I won't be 461 00:11:53,091 --> 00:11:54,634 able to stay over, 462 00:11:54,675 --> 00:11:56,010 but, yeah, sure, I'd love to. 463 00:11:56,052 --> 00:11:58,555 Okay. I'll talk 464 00:11:56,052 --> 00:11:58,555 to you later. 465 00:11:58,597 --> 00:12:00,599 Sorry, Ted, I won't be able 466 00:11:58,597 --> 00:12:00,599 to make Foxy Boxing tonight. 467 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:02,016 I understand. 468 00:12:02,058 --> 00:12:04,060 Okay. Uh, let's not lose hope. 469 00:12:04,102 --> 00:12:07,188 We'll call the hotel. 470 00:12:04,102 --> 00:12:07,188 Maybe she was staying there. 471 00:12:07,230 --> 00:12:09,982 We'll have them check 472 00:12:07,230 --> 00:12:09,982 the registry for anyone 473 00:12:07,230 --> 00:12:09,982 named Victoria. 474 00:12:10,024 --> 00:12:11,817 Or maybe she goes 475 00:12:10,024 --> 00:12:11,817 by Vicky or Tori... 476 00:12:11,859 --> 00:12:13,194 Or Ictor. 477 00:12:14,695 --> 00:12:16,864 She probably 478 00:12:14,695 --> 00:12:16,864 doesn't go by Ictor. 479 00:12:19,367 --> 00:12:21,494 No, you know what? 480 00:12:19,367 --> 00:12:21,494 This is fate. 481 00:12:21,536 --> 00:12:23,496 I am never supposed 482 00:12:21,536 --> 00:12:23,496 to see this girl again. 483 00:12:23,538 --> 00:12:25,081 That was the whole 484 00:12:23,538 --> 00:12:25,081 point of the night. 485 00:12:25,123 --> 00:12:26,832 I've just been 486 00:12:25,123 --> 00:12:26,832 saved from myself. 487 00:12:26,874 --> 00:12:27,833 Let's drink many beers. 488 00:12:27,875 --> 00:12:29,544 Agreed. 489 00:12:29,586 --> 00:12:31,045 And I thought 490 00:12:29,586 --> 00:12:31,045 that was the end of it. 491 00:12:31,087 --> 00:12:32,380 But then... 492 00:12:36,717 --> 00:12:39,512 Hey, there's 493 00:12:36,717 --> 00:12:39,512 the anchor lady. 494 00:12:36,717 --> 00:12:39,512 Hello. 495 00:12:39,554 --> 00:12:41,514 How was it? 496 00:12:39,554 --> 00:12:41,514 Oh, I don't know. 497 00:12:41,556 --> 00:12:43,933 Why don't you ask 498 00:12:41,556 --> 00:12:43,933 the new substitute 499 00:12:41,556 --> 00:12:43,933 weekend anchor? 500 00:12:43,975 --> 00:12:46,811 Robin? Thanks, Robin. 501 00:12:43,975 --> 00:12:46,811 It was awesome. 502 00:12:46,852 --> 00:12:47,979 Back to you, Robin. 503 00:12:48,020 --> 00:12:49,522 Congrats! 504 00:12:48,020 --> 00:12:49,522 Thanks. 505 00:12:49,564 --> 00:12:50,982 That's so cool. 506 00:12:51,023 --> 00:12:52,984 Yeah, I felt really bad 507 00:12:51,023 --> 00:12:52,984 bailing on Ted though. 508 00:12:53,025 --> 00:12:55,445 Oh, don't even worry 509 00:12:53,025 --> 00:12:55,445 about it. In fact... 510 00:12:55,487 --> 00:12:57,738 And then Lily told 511 00:12:55,487 --> 00:12:57,738 her the whole story, 512 00:12:57,780 --> 00:13:01,159 right down to the brown shoes 513 00:12:57,780 --> 00:13:01,159 with the little 514 00:12:57,780 --> 00:13:01,159 snowflakes on them. 515 00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:02,619 And by the end of it... 516 00:13:03,995 --> 00:13:05,788 What? 517 00:13:05,830 --> 00:13:07,457 I know who she is. 518 00:13:16,090 --> 00:13:17,717 You know who she is? 519 00:13:17,758 --> 00:13:19,969 But you weren't 520 00:13:17,758 --> 00:13:19,969 even at the wedding. 521 00:13:20,011 --> 00:13:22,472 Actually I kind of was. 522 00:13:23,473 --> 00:13:24,807 What? 523 00:13:24,849 --> 00:13:27,018 Well, after the newscast 524 00:13:24,849 --> 00:13:27,018 I was so excited, 525 00:13:27,059 --> 00:13:29,979 I decided to surprise Ted 526 00:13:27,059 --> 00:13:29,979 by going to the reception. 527 00:13:43,034 --> 00:13:44,910 Oh, damn it. 528 00:13:44,952 --> 00:13:46,621 Oh, stop it. 529 00:13:46,663 --> 00:13:48,748 What the hell? 530 00:13:48,789 --> 00:13:50,166 Hello? 531 00:13:50,208 --> 00:13:51,543 You okay in there? 532 00:13:51,584 --> 00:13:53,294 Uh, yeah, I'm fine! 533 00:13:53,336 --> 00:13:56,797 Um, just allergies 534 00:13:53,336 --> 00:13:56,797 or something. 535 00:13:56,839 --> 00:13:57,965 I'm fine. 536 00:13:59,967 --> 00:14:03,722 Listen, do you wanna 537 00:13:59,967 --> 00:14:03,722 come and cry out here? 538 00:14:03,763 --> 00:14:05,890 I've been told 539 00:14:03,763 --> 00:14:05,890 I'm an excellent hugger. 540 00:14:05,931 --> 00:14:07,975 Oh, thanks. 541 00:14:08,017 --> 00:14:10,603 Um, but I don't actually 542 00:14:08,017 --> 00:14:10,603 cry in front of people 543 00:14:10,645 --> 00:14:13,773 or cry at all 544 00:14:10,645 --> 00:14:13,773 for that matter. 545 00:14:14,899 --> 00:14:17,569 Man, it's gross. 546 00:14:17,610 --> 00:14:20,321 Does everyone snot up 547 00:14:17,610 --> 00:14:20,321 this much when they cry? 548 00:14:20,363 --> 00:14:23,282 Hey, you're speaking 549 00:14:20,363 --> 00:14:23,282 to a fellow snotter. 550 00:14:26,244 --> 00:14:28,246 So, why you crying? 551 00:14:28,287 --> 00:14:31,123 Because you have 552 00:14:28,287 --> 00:14:31,123 feelings for Ted. 553 00:14:31,165 --> 00:14:33,501 I don't know. Maybe? 554 00:14:33,543 --> 00:14:36,212 Okay, what is wrong 555 00:14:33,543 --> 00:14:36,212 with the two of you? 556 00:14:36,254 --> 00:14:37,547 Seriously! 557 00:14:37,589 --> 00:14:39,424 He likes you, 558 00:14:37,589 --> 00:14:39,424 and you like him, 559 00:14:39,465 --> 00:14:41,593 and just... just... just 560 00:14:39,465 --> 00:14:41,593 be together! 561 00:14:41,634 --> 00:14:44,512 Jeez, Louise, 562 00:14:41,634 --> 00:14:44,512 happiness is not 563 00:14:41,634 --> 00:14:44,512 that difficult. 564 00:14:44,554 --> 00:14:45,971 Oh, look, okay. 565 00:14:46,013 --> 00:14:49,975 Yes, I cried in the bathroom 566 00:14:46,013 --> 00:14:49,975 and that was weird. 567 00:14:50,017 --> 00:14:52,520 But that doesn't mean 568 00:14:50,017 --> 00:14:52,520 I'm in love with the guy. 569 00:14:52,562 --> 00:14:55,106 The fact is, 570 00:14:52,562 --> 00:14:55,106 I... I don't know how I feel. 571 00:14:55,147 --> 00:14:57,024 Yes, you do. 572 00:14:57,066 --> 00:14:59,527 Seeing him with someone else 573 00:14:57,066 --> 00:14:59,527 and crying about it? 574 00:14:59,569 --> 00:15:01,446 Guess what? 575 00:14:59,569 --> 00:15:01,446 That's how you feel! 576 00:15:01,487 --> 00:15:03,740 That is nothing 577 00:15:01,487 --> 00:15:03,740 but how you feel. 578 00:15:05,617 --> 00:15:08,077 Okay, fine, I have 579 00:15:05,617 --> 00:15:08,077 feelings for him. Happy? 580 00:15:08,119 --> 00:15:09,704 Kind of, yeah. 581 00:15:11,372 --> 00:15:13,833 But it doesn't 582 00:15:11,372 --> 00:15:13,833 change anything. 583 00:15:13,874 --> 00:15:18,588 I still don't wanna 584 00:15:13,874 --> 00:15:18,588 get married, 585 00:15:13,874 --> 00:15:18,588 and he's still Ted. 586 00:15:18,630 --> 00:15:20,548 What I should do 587 00:15:18,630 --> 00:15:20,548 is just tell him 588 00:15:20,590 --> 00:15:22,675 who Victoria is, 589 00:15:20,590 --> 00:15:22,675 so he can be happy. 590 00:15:22,717 --> 00:15:24,844 Or you could tell him 591 00:15:22,717 --> 00:15:24,844 that you're into him 592 00:15:24,885 --> 00:15:27,388 and then you could 593 00:15:24,885 --> 00:15:27,388 both be happy. 594 00:15:27,430 --> 00:15:29,056 I'm gonna go find him. 595 00:15:30,015 --> 00:15:32,435 Well, wait. 596 00:15:32,477 --> 00:15:34,186 Which one are you 597 00:15:32,477 --> 00:15:34,186 gonna tell him? 598 00:15:35,104 --> 00:15:36,522 I have no idea. 599 00:15:37,607 --> 00:15:39,525 And here's 600 00:15:37,607 --> 00:15:39,525 the most amazing part. 601 00:15:39,567 --> 00:15:41,026 Because I told her 602 00:15:39,567 --> 00:15:41,026 I had converted 603 00:15:41,068 --> 00:15:42,779 all my money 604 00:15:41,068 --> 00:15:42,779 to India dollars, 605 00:15:42,821 --> 00:15:45,782 she gave me $50 606 00:15:42,821 --> 00:15:45,782 to take a cab 607 00:15:42,821 --> 00:15:45,782 to the airport. 608 00:15:45,824 --> 00:15:49,619 That's right. 609 00:15:45,824 --> 00:15:49,619 I just got paid for sex. 610 00:15:49,661 --> 00:15:51,537 I really should 611 00:15:49,661 --> 00:15:51,537 give this money 612 00:15:49,661 --> 00:15:51,537 to the Peace Corps. 613 00:15:51,579 --> 00:15:53,038 They've done 614 00:15:51,579 --> 00:15:53,038 so much for me lately. 615 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:54,332 Hi, guys. 616 00:15:54,373 --> 00:15:55,834 Hey. 617 00:15:55,875 --> 00:15:58,377 Um, Ted, can I talk to you 618 00:15:55,875 --> 00:15:58,377 outside for a second? 619 00:15:58,419 --> 00:15:59,671 Sure, what's up? 620 00:16:00,963 --> 00:16:03,257 Uh, I, I have to 621 00:16:00,963 --> 00:16:03,257 tell you something. 622 00:16:05,009 --> 00:16:06,511 Oh, just get it. 623 00:16:07,386 --> 00:16:09,889 Hello? 624 00:16:07,386 --> 00:16:09,889 Ted? It's Stuart. 625 00:16:09,930 --> 00:16:12,642 My lovely bride 626 00:16:09,930 --> 00:16:12,642 would like to say 627 00:16:09,930 --> 00:16:12,642 something to you. 628 00:16:17,563 --> 00:16:19,106 Ted. 629 00:16:19,148 --> 00:16:22,026 I'm sorry I hung up 630 00:16:19,148 --> 00:16:22,026 on you earlier. 631 00:16:22,067 --> 00:16:25,530 My new husband 632 00:16:22,067 --> 00:16:25,530 and vodka cranberry, 633 00:16:25,571 --> 00:16:29,492 which cost $10.50 634 00:16:25,571 --> 00:16:29,492 at the freaking airport bar... 635 00:16:29,534 --> 00:16:31,410 When is this plane 636 00:16:29,534 --> 00:16:31,410 going to board? 637 00:16:31,452 --> 00:16:32,745 Sweet pea. 638 00:16:35,456 --> 00:16:38,751 have helped me realize 639 00:16:35,456 --> 00:16:38,751 that sometimes I can act 640 00:16:38,793 --> 00:16:40,670 like a crazy person. 641 00:16:40,712 --> 00:16:44,757 And I don't want 642 00:16:40,712 --> 00:16:44,757 my new husband to think 643 00:16:40,712 --> 00:16:44,757 I'm a crazy person. 644 00:16:44,799 --> 00:16:47,343 It's fine, Claudia, 645 00:16:44,799 --> 00:16:47,343 don't worry about it. 646 00:16:47,385 --> 00:16:50,638 Oh, um, Marshall wanted 647 00:16:47,385 --> 00:16:50,638 to know where you guys 648 00:16:47,385 --> 00:16:50,638 got that cake. 649 00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:51,931 Cake? 650 00:16:53,558 --> 00:16:55,560 Why don't you take this? 651 00:16:57,228 --> 00:16:59,104 Sounds like you could use it. 652 00:16:59,146 --> 00:17:02,316 Thanks. You're very sweet. 653 00:17:02,358 --> 00:17:05,444 So, are you a friend 654 00:17:02,358 --> 00:17:05,444 of the bride or groom? 655 00:17:05,486 --> 00:17:07,822 We got it at this 656 00:17:05,486 --> 00:17:07,822 little bakery downtown. 657 00:17:07,864 --> 00:17:09,407 Actually, neither. 658 00:17:09,448 --> 00:17:11,325 It's called 659 00:17:09,448 --> 00:17:11,325 the Buttercup Bakery. 660 00:17:11,367 --> 00:17:13,244 Pleased to meet 661 00:17:11,367 --> 00:17:13,244 you, Buttercup. 662 00:17:13,285 --> 00:17:14,453 I made the cake. 663 00:17:17,456 --> 00:17:19,291 She made the cake. 664 00:17:28,593 --> 00:17:30,261 Buttercup Bakery! 665 00:17:30,302 --> 00:17:32,805 She wasn't on the guest list, 666 00:17:30,302 --> 00:17:32,805 because she wasn't a guest. 667 00:17:32,847 --> 00:17:34,515 She made the cake! 668 00:17:34,557 --> 00:17:38,686 She made that cake. 669 00:17:34,557 --> 00:17:38,686 Ted, this is the girl. 670 00:17:38,728 --> 00:17:40,563 You gotta marry her. Today. 671 00:17:40,605 --> 00:17:42,189 She has to move in with us. 672 00:17:42,231 --> 00:17:43,524 I'm going down 673 00:17:42,231 --> 00:17:43,524 to that bakery. 674 00:17:43,566 --> 00:17:44,943 No, no, don't do it. 675 00:17:44,984 --> 00:17:47,403 Baby, what are you 676 00:17:44,984 --> 00:17:47,403 talking about? 677 00:17:47,445 --> 00:17:48,988 Yeah, all day long 678 00:17:47,445 --> 00:17:48,988 you've been busting 679 00:17:47,445 --> 00:17:48,988 my apple bag 680 00:17:49,029 --> 00:17:51,282 about finding this girl. 681 00:17:51,323 --> 00:17:55,202 Well, I... I just think 682 00:17:51,323 --> 00:17:55,202 that, that maybe 683 00:17:51,323 --> 00:17:55,202 she's not that into you. 684 00:17:55,244 --> 00:17:58,038 And... And, and that's why 685 00:17:55,244 --> 00:17:58,038 she didn't give you 686 00:17:55,244 --> 00:17:58,038 her number. 687 00:17:59,373 --> 00:18:02,627 Robin, care to chime in 688 00:17:59,373 --> 00:18:02,627 with anything? 689 00:18:04,462 --> 00:18:05,546 Yes. 690 00:18:06,631 --> 00:18:07,715 Ted, 691 00:18:11,093 --> 00:18:12,470 go get her. 692 00:18:12,511 --> 00:18:13,888 Going. Getting! 693 00:18:13,930 --> 00:18:15,306 Ted. Oh, my gosh, 694 00:18:13,930 --> 00:18:15,306 I love this moment. 695 00:18:15,347 --> 00:18:16,766 You know why? 696 00:18:15,347 --> 00:18:16,766 'Cause I'm gonna say it. 697 00:18:16,808 --> 00:18:18,392 And this time, 698 00:18:16,808 --> 00:18:18,392 you're actually 699 00:18:16,808 --> 00:18:18,392 gonna say yes. 700 00:18:18,434 --> 00:18:20,686 You ready? 701 00:18:18,434 --> 00:18:20,686 You ready to say yes? 702 00:18:18,434 --> 00:18:20,686 Ted, suit up! 703 00:18:20,728 --> 00:18:22,187 Yes! 704 00:18:22,229 --> 00:18:24,482 No. 705 00:18:22,229 --> 00:18:24,482 Oh, come on! 706 00:18:25,733 --> 00:18:26,901 Whoa. 707 00:18:26,943 --> 00:18:28,360 Guess we were gone a while. 708 00:18:28,402 --> 00:18:30,154 Oh, that's too bad. 709 00:18:30,195 --> 00:18:32,531 I was looking forward 710 00:18:30,195 --> 00:18:32,531 to one last dance. 711 00:18:54,053 --> 00:18:56,180 Why, yes, I am. 712 00:18:56,221 --> 00:18:57,932 Sorry, I could tell 713 00:18:56,221 --> 00:18:57,932 what you were just thinking. 714 00:18:57,974 --> 00:19:00,351 Wow, what was I 715 00:18:57,974 --> 00:19:00,351 just thinking? 716 00:19:00,392 --> 00:19:02,311 Damn, he's looking 717 00:19:00,392 --> 00:19:02,311 mighty fine in that tux. 718 00:19:03,771 --> 00:19:06,816 You got me. 719 00:19:03,771 --> 00:19:06,816 You are good. 720 00:19:03,771 --> 00:19:06,816 Yeah. Mmm-hmm. 721 00:19:06,858 --> 00:19:08,776 You know, I don't 722 00:19:06,858 --> 00:19:08,776 look like this every day. 723 00:19:08,818 --> 00:19:10,653 On a real weekend, 724 00:19:08,818 --> 00:19:10,653 the real Ted wears 725 00:19:10,695 --> 00:19:12,196 a pair of jeans 726 00:19:10,695 --> 00:19:12,196 and a sweatshirt 727 00:19:12,237 --> 00:19:13,447 with bleach stains on it. 728 00:19:13,489 --> 00:19:16,868 Mmm. The real Ted 729 00:19:13,489 --> 00:19:16,868 sounds real sexy. 730 00:19:18,744 --> 00:19:20,997 It's too bad 731 00:19:18,744 --> 00:19:20,997 I'll never get to see it. 732 00:19:26,794 --> 00:19:29,338 Buttercup Bakery. 733 00:19:26,794 --> 00:19:29,338 This is it. 734 00:19:29,380 --> 00:19:31,799 Good luck, dude. 735 00:19:29,380 --> 00:19:31,799 Grab me a cupcake. 736 00:19:35,344 --> 00:19:37,722 Ted? You still with us? 737 00:19:50,818 --> 00:19:52,653 Tell me your last name. 738 00:19:56,198 --> 00:19:58,576 You know, 739 00:19:56,198 --> 00:19:58,576 there's one little 740 00:19:56,198 --> 00:19:58,576 flaw in our plan. 741 00:19:58,617 --> 00:20:00,244 What's that? 742 00:20:00,285 --> 00:20:02,830 I'm gonna go home tonight 743 00:20:00,285 --> 00:20:02,830 with a lot of great memories, 744 00:20:02,872 --> 00:20:05,750 and one really sucky memory. 745 00:20:05,791 --> 00:20:08,293 The memory of you 746 00:20:05,791 --> 00:20:08,293 walking out that door. 747 00:20:11,923 --> 00:20:13,674 Hey, Ted. 748 00:20:13,716 --> 00:20:14,800 Yeah? 749 00:20:16,468 --> 00:20:19,847 Close your eyes 750 00:20:16,468 --> 00:20:19,847 and count to five. 751 00:20:23,434 --> 00:20:24,643 One. 752 00:20:25,561 --> 00:20:26,812 Two. 753 00:20:27,855 --> 00:20:29,023 Three. 754 00:20:30,733 --> 00:20:31,817 Four. 755 00:20:33,778 --> 00:20:35,029 Five. 756 00:20:47,041 --> 00:20:48,876 Until our dying days, 757 00:20:48,918 --> 00:20:52,421 we'll remember everything 758 00:20:48,918 --> 00:20:52,421 about that night as perfect. 759 00:20:53,505 --> 00:20:55,591 Maybe we both need that. 760 00:20:55,633 --> 00:20:57,843 I mean, so many things 761 00:20:55,633 --> 00:20:57,843 go wrong in life, 762 00:20:57,885 --> 00:20:59,804 but this is the one thing 763 00:20:57,885 --> 00:20:59,804 that never will. 764 00:20:59,845 --> 00:21:04,016 I-I-It will always, 765 00:20:59,845 --> 00:21:04,016 always be pure, 766 00:21:04,058 --> 00:21:07,561 unadulterated, awesome. 767 00:21:07,603 --> 00:21:10,397 If I walk in there, 768 00:21:07,603 --> 00:21:10,397 I'm robbing both of us 769 00:21:07,603 --> 00:21:10,397 of what could be... 770 00:21:10,439 --> 00:21:12,858 The meter's running, dude. 771 00:21:10,439 --> 00:21:12,858 Crap or get off the pot. 772 00:21:12,900 --> 00:21:14,443 Yeah, yeah, I'm going. 773 00:21:38,801 --> 00:21:40,385 Oh, thank God!