1 00:00:04,613 --> 00:00:07,240 Kids, 2 00:00:04,613 --> 00:00:07,240 something you might not know 3 00:00:04,613 --> 00:00:07,240 about your Uncle Marshall 4 00:00:07,282 --> 00:00:09,284 is that he's always 5 00:00:07,282 --> 00:00:09,284 been good at games. 6 00:00:09,326 --> 00:00:10,619 I mean unbeatable. 7 00:00:10,661 --> 00:00:11,745 Gin! 8 00:00:13,789 --> 00:00:15,040 Yahtzee! 9 00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:18,126 Poker! 10 00:00:18,168 --> 00:00:20,671 You don't have to shout out 11 00:00:18,168 --> 00:00:20,671 "poker" when you win. 12 00:00:20,713 --> 00:00:22,422 I know. It's just fun to say. 13 00:00:22,464 --> 00:00:24,090 We all finally agreed, 14 00:00:24,132 --> 00:00:26,009 Marshall should be 15 00:00:24,132 --> 00:00:26,009 running our game nights, 16 00:00:26,051 --> 00:00:27,761 instead of playing in them. 17 00:00:27,803 --> 00:00:30,389 Which he took to mean, 18 00:00:27,803 --> 00:00:30,389 "Invent your own game." 19 00:00:30,430 --> 00:00:33,642 It's called "Marshgammon." 20 00:00:33,684 --> 00:00:36,269 It combines 21 00:00:33,684 --> 00:00:36,269 all the best features 22 00:00:33,684 --> 00:00:36,269 of all the best games, 23 00:00:36,311 --> 00:00:38,731 Candyland, 24 00:00:36,311 --> 00:00:38,731 I Never, Pictionary. 25 00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:40,315 Backgammon, obviously. 26 00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:40,315 No. 27 00:00:40,357 --> 00:00:42,108 Backgammon sucks. 28 00:00:42,150 --> 00:00:44,611 I took the only good part of 29 00:00:42,150 --> 00:00:44,611 "backgammon," the "gammon," 30 00:00:44,653 --> 00:00:48,281 and I left the rest of it 31 00:00:44,653 --> 00:00:48,281 in the trash where it belongs. 32 00:00:48,323 --> 00:00:50,868 I'm so excited 33 00:00:48,323 --> 00:00:50,868 Victoria's coming. 34 00:00:50,910 --> 00:00:52,786 I'm gonna go 35 00:00:50,910 --> 00:00:52,786 get another round. 36 00:00:52,828 --> 00:00:55,664 Okay. I wanna lay down 37 00:00:52,828 --> 00:00:55,664 some ground rules 38 00:00:52,828 --> 00:00:55,664 for tonight, Barney. 39 00:00:55,706 --> 00:00:58,250 I actually like 40 00:00:55,706 --> 00:00:58,250 Victoria a lot. 41 00:00:58,291 --> 00:01:00,210 So, don't say anything... 42 00:01:00,252 --> 00:01:02,254 Don't say anything. 43 00:01:02,295 --> 00:01:05,215 And, guys, I haven't 44 00:01:02,295 --> 00:01:05,215 exactly told Victoria 45 00:01:05,257 --> 00:01:07,300 that I used to have 46 00:01:05,257 --> 00:01:07,300 a kind of thing for Robin, 47 00:01:07,342 --> 00:01:08,886 so if we could 48 00:01:07,342 --> 00:01:08,886 just avoid the... 49 00:01:08,928 --> 00:01:12,138 Well, well, well, 50 00:01:08,928 --> 00:01:12,138 how rich. 51 00:01:12,180 --> 00:01:15,601 You make me promise 52 00:01:12,180 --> 00:01:15,601 to be on my best behavior 53 00:01:12,180 --> 00:01:15,601 around your girlfriend, 54 00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:18,771 yet you have been lying 55 00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:18,771 to her since day one. 56 00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:20,021 Excuse me. 57 00:01:20,981 --> 00:01:22,482 Hi, Leg Warehouse? 58 00:01:22,524 --> 00:01:24,651 Yeah, my friend Ted 59 00:01:22,524 --> 00:01:24,651 needs something to stand on. 60 00:01:24,693 --> 00:01:26,361 So, nothing for him 61 00:01:24,693 --> 00:01:26,361 to stand on? 62 00:01:26,403 --> 00:01:27,780 Okay, thanks so much. 63 00:01:29,072 --> 00:01:31,784 Ted, doesn't Victoria 64 00:01:29,072 --> 00:01:31,784 deserve to know 65 00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:34,202 that you once had 66 00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:34,202 the hots for Robin? 67 00:01:34,244 --> 00:01:38,540 I have half a mind to tell 68 00:01:34,244 --> 00:01:38,540 the story of the re-return. 69 00:01:38,582 --> 00:01:40,960 No, I... I swore you 70 00:01:38,582 --> 00:01:40,960 to secrecy on that. 71 00:01:41,001 --> 00:01:42,920 Ooh, I am smelling dirt. 72 00:01:42,962 --> 00:01:44,797 What is the story 73 00:01:42,962 --> 00:01:44,797 of the re-return? 74 00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:46,673 Nothing. 75 00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:46,673 It's nothing. 76 00:01:46,715 --> 00:01:48,258 And, speaking of 77 00:01:46,715 --> 00:01:48,258 digging up dirt, 78 00:01:48,300 --> 00:01:50,677 can I count on you two 79 00:01:48,300 --> 00:01:50,677 to behave around Victoria? 80 00:01:50,719 --> 00:01:53,138 Us? What would we do? 81 00:01:53,179 --> 00:01:54,848 Look, um, you guys 82 00:01:53,179 --> 00:01:54,848 have always been 83 00:01:54,890 --> 00:01:56,767 like the parents 84 00:01:54,890 --> 00:01:56,767 that I still have, 85 00:01:56,809 --> 00:01:58,811 and, in fact, moved here 86 00:01:56,809 --> 00:01:58,811 to get away from. 87 00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:01,981 However, could we skip 88 00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:01,981 the traditional 89 00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:01,981 interrogation 90 00:02:02,022 --> 00:02:04,107 of the new 91 00:02:02,022 --> 00:02:04,107 girlfriend tonight? 92 00:02:04,149 --> 00:02:05,651 Fine. 93 00:02:04,149 --> 00:02:05,651 Fine. 94 00:02:05,692 --> 00:02:06,777 Thank you. 95 00:02:06,819 --> 00:02:08,028 I should go help Robin. 96 00:02:08,069 --> 00:02:09,321 Okay. 97 00:02:11,197 --> 00:02:13,033 Hey. 98 00:02:11,197 --> 00:02:13,033 Hey. 99 00:02:13,074 --> 00:02:16,328 So, you gonna be okay 100 00:02:13,074 --> 00:02:16,328 hanging out with 101 00:02:13,074 --> 00:02:16,328 Victoria tonight? 102 00:02:16,369 --> 00:02:19,080 Oh, sure. She's great. 103 00:02:19,122 --> 00:02:21,750 Oh, what? 104 00:02:19,122 --> 00:02:21,750 Because of the whole thing 105 00:02:19,122 --> 00:02:21,750 where I said I liked Ted? 106 00:02:21,792 --> 00:02:23,502 No. Victoria is great. 107 00:02:23,543 --> 00:02:27,006 She's fun, 108 00:02:23,543 --> 00:02:27,006 she's free-spirited. 109 00:02:23,543 --> 00:02:27,006 She's great. 110 00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:29,008 I said "She's great" 111 00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:29,008 too many times, didn't I? 112 00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:30,717 You must really 113 00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:30,717 hate the bitch. 114 00:02:32,218 --> 00:02:34,262 But if you roll 115 00:02:32,218 --> 00:02:34,262 an even number 116 00:02:34,304 --> 00:02:36,556 while adjacent to 117 00:02:34,304 --> 00:02:36,556 the Peppermint Forest, 118 00:02:36,598 --> 00:02:39,768 then you "Marshall Out," 119 00:02:36,598 --> 00:02:39,768 and all your chips 120 00:02:36,598 --> 00:02:39,768 go into the pot. 121 00:02:39,810 --> 00:02:43,689 And remember, if you ever 122 00:02:39,810 --> 00:02:43,689 ask the question, "What," 123 00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:45,357 then you gotta drink. 124 00:02:46,274 --> 00:02:47,776 Got it? 125 00:02:47,818 --> 00:02:49,486 No idea what 126 00:02:47,818 --> 00:02:49,486 you're talking about. 127 00:02:49,528 --> 00:02:51,446 Okay, okay. 128 00:02:49,528 --> 00:02:51,446 All right, no, no. 129 00:02:51,488 --> 00:02:53,532 We'll just start. 130 00:02:51,488 --> 00:02:53,532 You guys will pick it up. 131 00:02:51,488 --> 00:02:53,532 Newbie goes first. 132 00:02:53,573 --> 00:02:55,868 Roll. 133 00:02:53,573 --> 00:02:55,868 Okay. 134 00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:59,245 Three! 135 00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:59,245 You got "Autobiography." 136 00:02:59,287 --> 00:03:00,956 Now, that's where 137 00:02:59,287 --> 00:03:00,956 you have to answer 138 00:03:00,998 --> 00:03:03,709 a personal question 139 00:03:00,998 --> 00:03:03,709 about your dating 140 00:03:00,998 --> 00:03:03,709 life, truthfully, 141 00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:04,710 in order to move on. 142 00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:06,003 Marshall, come on. 143 00:03:06,045 --> 00:03:07,838 Hey. She's the one 144 00:03:06,045 --> 00:03:07,838 who rolled a three. 145 00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:11,550 Victoria. 146 00:03:11,591 --> 00:03:14,970 "Have you ever cheated 147 00:03:11,591 --> 00:03:14,970 while in a relationship?" 148 00:03:15,012 --> 00:03:16,680 Wow, good question. 149 00:03:16,722 --> 00:03:18,640 You don't have 150 00:03:16,722 --> 00:03:18,640 to answer that. 151 00:03:16,722 --> 00:03:18,640 It's okay. 152 00:03:18,682 --> 00:03:23,812 Um, well, 153 00:03:18,682 --> 00:03:23,812 I was in a really crappy 154 00:03:18,682 --> 00:03:23,812 relationship in college, 155 00:03:23,854 --> 00:03:27,649 and I wound up 156 00:03:23,854 --> 00:03:27,649 kissing this guy 157 00:03:23,854 --> 00:03:27,649 at a party one night 158 00:03:27,691 --> 00:03:29,484 and I felt terrible 159 00:03:27,691 --> 00:03:29,484 about it, 160 00:03:29,526 --> 00:03:31,528 so I came clean 161 00:03:29,526 --> 00:03:31,528 and we broke up. 162 00:03:33,864 --> 00:03:36,909 Victoria, that was 163 00:03:33,864 --> 00:03:36,909 an honest and mature answer. 164 00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:38,994 You may advance to 165 00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:38,994 the Gumdrop Mountains. 166 00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:44,917 So, Victoria, did you ever 167 00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:44,917 re-return to this guy? 168 00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:44,917 What? 169 00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:46,877 You said what. 170 00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:46,877 You gotta drink. 171 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:53,592 Oh, Barney, by the way, 172 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:53,592 I went to a party in that 173 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:53,592 new building on 82nd, 174 00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:55,260 and the host said 175 00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:55,260 she knew you. 176 00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:57,303 What is her name? 177 00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:57,303 Sharon? Shannon? 178 00:03:57,345 --> 00:03:58,597 Shannon? 179 00:03:59,514 --> 00:04:01,391 Shannon, Shannon. 180 00:04:01,433 --> 00:04:02,684 No. 181 00:04:02,726 --> 00:04:04,770 Don't remember any Shannon. 182 00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:06,479 Really? 183 00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:06,479 Well, 'cause she gave me 184 00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:06,479 a videotape to give you. 185 00:04:06,521 --> 00:04:07,981 Where's the tape? 186 00:04:10,067 --> 00:04:12,193 I'll get it. 187 00:04:12,235 --> 00:04:14,780 Cool. Okay. 188 00:04:12,235 --> 00:04:14,780 You know, whenever. 189 00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:17,240 Okay, Robin. 190 00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:17,240 Your roll. 191 00:04:19,618 --> 00:04:22,245 Five! Another 192 00:04:19,618 --> 00:04:22,245 "Autobiography." 193 00:04:22,287 --> 00:04:23,622 Whoo! 194 00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:25,958 For the player to 195 00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:25,958 your left which... 196 00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:27,292 Victoria! 197 00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:29,210 Of course. 198 00:04:29,252 --> 00:04:31,337 Victoria. 199 00:04:31,379 --> 00:04:35,258 "How many boyfriends 200 00:04:31,379 --> 00:04:35,258 did you have before 201 00:04:31,379 --> 00:04:35,258 you started dating Ted?" 202 00:04:35,300 --> 00:04:37,177 Wait, the card 203 00:04:35,300 --> 00:04:37,177 actually says Ted? 204 00:04:37,218 --> 00:04:41,181 Okay. Uh, well, boyfriends, 205 00:04:37,218 --> 00:04:41,181 I guess I've only had two. 206 00:04:41,222 --> 00:04:42,432 Prude-alert. 207 00:04:43,767 --> 00:04:46,311 Well, that... 208 00:04:43,767 --> 00:04:46,311 That's serious boyfriends. 209 00:04:46,352 --> 00:04:48,354 I've dated other guys 210 00:04:46,352 --> 00:04:48,354 in between. 211 00:04:48,396 --> 00:04:50,190 Oh, slut-alert! 212 00:04:53,652 --> 00:04:55,195 Oh, great, 213 00:04:53,652 --> 00:04:55,195 there it is. 214 00:04:55,236 --> 00:04:56,571 Thanks, Lily, 215 00:04:55,236 --> 00:04:56,571 you're a peach. 216 00:05:05,580 --> 00:05:07,290 Well, wow, look at that. 217 00:05:07,332 --> 00:05:08,917 Robin landed on 218 00:05:07,332 --> 00:05:08,917 the Chocolate Swamp. 219 00:05:08,959 --> 00:05:10,502 That's five chips for me. 220 00:05:10,543 --> 00:05:14,173 Thank you. Finally, somebody 221 00:05:10,543 --> 00:05:14,173 understands Marshgammon. 222 00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:16,925 Barney, what was 223 00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:16,925 on that tape? 224 00:05:16,967 --> 00:05:18,384 Too bad you'll 225 00:05:16,967 --> 00:05:18,384 never find out. 226 00:05:18,426 --> 00:05:19,886 Ah, damn it! 227 00:05:19,928 --> 00:05:22,222 If only I'd given you 228 00:05:19,928 --> 00:05:22,222 a fake tape and hidden 229 00:05:22,263 --> 00:05:24,099 the real tape in my purse. 230 00:05:24,141 --> 00:05:26,226 Oh, wait. 231 00:05:24,141 --> 00:05:26,226 That's exactly what I did. 232 00:05:26,267 --> 00:05:27,310 What? 233 00:05:27,352 --> 00:05:28,812 Drink. 234 00:05:28,854 --> 00:05:31,314 Yeah, you were acting 235 00:05:28,854 --> 00:05:31,314 so weird about it 236 00:05:31,356 --> 00:05:33,942 I, I gave you Ted's 237 00:05:31,356 --> 00:05:33,942 graduation tape instead. 238 00:05:33,984 --> 00:05:35,276 So, should we pop it in? 239 00:05:35,318 --> 00:05:37,112 Give it to me. 240 00:05:35,318 --> 00:05:37,112 Hey, hey! 241 00:05:37,154 --> 00:05:38,279 Ted! 242 00:05:37,154 --> 00:05:38,279 Play it. Play it! 243 00:05:38,321 --> 00:05:39,405 Fine, fine. 244 00:05:40,532 --> 00:05:42,117 I cannot believe... 245 00:05:45,328 --> 00:05:48,207 Shannon! I love you. 246 00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:51,084 I love you so much. 247 00:05:53,212 --> 00:05:56,339 What about us changing 248 00:05:53,212 --> 00:05:56,339 the world together? 249 00:05:56,381 --> 00:05:58,591 Don't tell me 250 00:05:56,381 --> 00:05:58,591 you've forgotten. 251 00:05:58,633 --> 00:06:00,135 I know I haven't. 252 00:06:02,137 --> 00:06:08,393 another rainbow? 253 00:06:08,434 --> 00:06:15,316 through this tempest of woe? 254 00:06:22,615 --> 00:06:23,783 in the palace 255 00:06:25,744 --> 00:06:27,079 in the palace 256 00:06:37,256 --> 00:06:38,464 Did you try 257 00:06:37,256 --> 00:06:38,464 his cell phone? 258 00:06:38,506 --> 00:06:40,133 Yeah, I left 259 00:06:38,506 --> 00:06:40,133 two messages. 260 00:06:40,175 --> 00:06:42,343 I checked the cigar club, 261 00:06:40,175 --> 00:06:42,343 the Lusty Leopard. 262 00:06:42,385 --> 00:06:43,678 He's off the grid. 263 00:06:44,846 --> 00:06:47,015 Hey, guys. What up? 264 00:06:47,057 --> 00:06:48,683 Barney, where 265 00:06:47,057 --> 00:06:48,683 have you been? 266 00:06:48,725 --> 00:06:50,351 Yeah, we're really 267 00:06:48,725 --> 00:06:50,351 sorry about that. 268 00:06:50,393 --> 00:06:52,562 Yeah, so sorry. 269 00:06:52,604 --> 00:06:55,107 But seriously, 270 00:06:52,604 --> 00:06:55,107 what was up with the tape? 271 00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:56,858 No. Stay. 272 00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:56,858 Come on. Come on. 273 00:06:56,900 --> 00:06:59,319 Stay. Come on. 274 00:06:56,900 --> 00:06:59,319 I'm sorry. I don't 275 00:06:56,900 --> 00:06:59,319 wanna talk about it. 276 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:02,614 It was the most embarrassing 277 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:02,614 and humiliating thing 278 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:02,614 that ever happened to me. 279 00:07:02,655 --> 00:07:04,574 Well, we all have 280 00:07:02,655 --> 00:07:04,574 embarrassing stories. 281 00:07:04,616 --> 00:07:06,243 Sometimes it's good 282 00:07:04,616 --> 00:07:06,243 to... to talk about it. 283 00:07:06,285 --> 00:07:08,161 Oh, really? 284 00:07:08,203 --> 00:07:10,622 Then why don't you tell us 285 00:07:08,203 --> 00:07:10,622 your most humiliating moment, 286 00:07:08,203 --> 00:07:10,622 Marshall? 287 00:07:10,663 --> 00:07:12,665 Show me how good it is. 288 00:07:15,043 --> 00:07:17,170 All right. 289 00:07:17,212 --> 00:07:19,965 I was stopping by Lily's 290 00:07:17,212 --> 00:07:19,965 kindergarten class to say hi, 291 00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:21,967 but they were all at recess. 292 00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:25,511 I really had to pee, 293 00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:25,511 so I went into 294 00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:25,511 the class's restroom. 295 00:07:25,553 --> 00:07:29,308 It was, uh, a smaller target 296 00:07:25,553 --> 00:07:29,308 than I'm used to, 297 00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:32,978 so I figured 298 00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:32,978 I should sit down. 299 00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:36,522 What I didn't realize was 300 00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:36,522 it was a shared bathroom. 301 00:07:40,944 --> 00:07:42,904 I wish I'd pulled up my pants. 302 00:07:49,119 --> 00:07:51,330 The kids still 303 00:07:49,119 --> 00:07:51,330 call him Funny Butt. 304 00:07:54,082 --> 00:07:57,585 Okay. I'll tell you 305 00:07:54,082 --> 00:07:57,585 my story. 306 00:07:57,627 --> 00:08:02,507 Believe it or not, 307 00:07:57,627 --> 00:08:02,507 I was not always 308 00:07:57,627 --> 00:08:02,507 as awesome as I am today. 309 00:08:02,548 --> 00:08:05,510 It was 1998. 310 00:08:02,548 --> 00:08:05,510 I was just out of college, 311 00:08:05,551 --> 00:08:08,221 and I was working 312 00:08:05,551 --> 00:08:08,221 at a coffeehouse 313 00:08:05,551 --> 00:08:08,221 with my girlfriend. 314 00:08:08,263 --> 00:08:11,224 My girlfriend, Shannon. 315 00:08:20,692 --> 00:08:21,901 Thank you. 316 00:08:25,655 --> 00:08:27,157 All right. 317 00:08:27,199 --> 00:08:28,950 I love your singing, Barney. 318 00:08:28,992 --> 00:08:30,493 And I love you, Shannon. 319 00:08:32,745 --> 00:08:34,747 Joining 320 00:08:32,745 --> 00:08:34,747 the Peace Corps with you 321 00:08:32,745 --> 00:08:34,747 is gonna be legendary. 322 00:08:34,789 --> 00:08:39,294 I know. Only five short weeks, 323 00:08:34,789 --> 00:08:39,294 till we're down in Nicaragua. 324 00:08:39,336 --> 00:08:42,047 Hey, nonfat latte 325 00:08:39,336 --> 00:08:42,047 to go. 326 00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:44,674 Mellow order, bro, 327 00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:44,674 mellow order. 328 00:08:46,176 --> 00:08:48,136 Dude. That's 329 00:08:46,176 --> 00:08:48,136 your G-friend? 330 00:08:48,178 --> 00:08:49,846 All right, high-five. 331 00:08:49,888 --> 00:08:51,848 Sorry, I only give high-twos. 332 00:08:53,099 --> 00:08:56,186 Whatevs. As long as 333 00:08:53,099 --> 00:08:56,186 you're nailing that. 334 00:08:56,228 --> 00:08:58,813 Listen to you. 335 00:08:56,228 --> 00:08:58,813 "That"? 336 00:08:58,855 --> 00:09:00,732 You know, 337 00:08:58,855 --> 00:09:00,732 women aren't objects. 338 00:09:00,773 --> 00:09:02,692 They're human beings. 339 00:09:02,734 --> 00:09:05,695 And FYI, Shannon and I 340 00:09:02,734 --> 00:09:05,695 have decided to wait 341 00:09:02,734 --> 00:09:05,695 till we're married. 342 00:09:05,737 --> 00:09:07,197 You can read 343 00:09:05,737 --> 00:09:07,197 about it in my zine. 344 00:09:08,198 --> 00:09:09,908 Hey, Haircut, 345 00:09:08,198 --> 00:09:09,908 right here. 346 00:09:09,949 --> 00:09:11,993 Open up your knowledge basket 347 00:09:09,949 --> 00:09:11,993 'cause here it comes. 348 00:09:12,035 --> 00:09:13,661 Forget all that 349 00:09:12,035 --> 00:09:13,661 touchy-feely crap. 350 00:09:13,703 --> 00:09:16,164 You get money, you get laid. 351 00:09:13,703 --> 00:09:16,164 End of discussion. 352 00:09:16,206 --> 00:09:18,583 I feel sorry for you, man. 353 00:09:18,624 --> 00:09:20,419 Peace out, hombre. 354 00:09:22,337 --> 00:09:25,590 Suits. 355 00:09:25,631 --> 00:09:28,760 Five weeks later, 356 00:09:25,631 --> 00:09:28,760 we were all set to leave 357 00:09:25,631 --> 00:09:28,760 for the Peace Corps. 358 00:09:28,801 --> 00:09:30,387 Only problem was 359 00:09:31,346 --> 00:09:33,139 she never showed up. 360 00:09:39,396 --> 00:09:41,231 She never showed? 361 00:09:41,273 --> 00:09:42,523 So what happened next? 362 00:09:43,983 --> 00:09:45,985 You know what? 363 00:09:43,983 --> 00:09:45,985 This was a mistake. 364 00:09:46,027 --> 00:09:50,156 Wait, uh, what if 365 00:09:46,027 --> 00:09:50,156 somebody else told their 366 00:09:46,027 --> 00:09:50,156 most humiliating story? 367 00:09:50,198 --> 00:09:52,617 Oh, I know just 368 00:09:50,198 --> 00:09:52,617 how to decide who. 369 00:09:52,658 --> 00:09:54,453 You brought the game 370 00:09:52,658 --> 00:09:54,453 to the bar? 371 00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:56,704 We're not quitting 372 00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:56,704 just 'cause Ted's 373 00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:56,704 so far ahead. 374 00:09:56,746 --> 00:09:57,872 I was winning? 375 00:10:03,086 --> 00:10:05,422 Fine. I'll go next. 376 00:10:05,464 --> 00:10:08,467 I was doing 377 00:10:05,464 --> 00:10:08,467 a report on live TV 378 00:10:05,464 --> 00:10:08,467 about a hansom cab driver. 379 00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:10,676 The slipping-in-horse-poop 380 00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:10,676 story? 381 00:10:10,718 --> 00:10:12,471 Yeah, we all know 382 00:10:10,718 --> 00:10:12,471 that one. 383 00:10:12,512 --> 00:10:14,264 Okay, how about this? 384 00:10:14,306 --> 00:10:16,724 I will tell you 385 00:10:14,306 --> 00:10:16,724 my most humiliating story. 386 00:10:16,766 --> 00:10:19,185 Yeah, Victoria. 387 00:10:16,766 --> 00:10:19,185 Way to step up. 388 00:10:19,227 --> 00:10:22,230 It involves a game 389 00:10:19,227 --> 00:10:22,230 of Truth or Dare, 390 00:10:22,272 --> 00:10:25,400 a squeeze bottle 391 00:10:22,272 --> 00:10:25,400 of marshmallow 392 00:10:22,272 --> 00:10:25,400 ice cream topping, 393 00:10:25,442 --> 00:10:28,945 and the hot tub 394 00:10:25,442 --> 00:10:28,945 at my grandparents' 395 00:10:25,442 --> 00:10:28,945 retirement community. 396 00:10:28,987 --> 00:10:31,323 Kids, I tell you a lot of 397 00:10:28,987 --> 00:10:31,323 inappropriate stories, 398 00:10:31,364 --> 00:10:33,533 but there's no way in hell 399 00:10:31,364 --> 00:10:33,533 I'm telling you this one. 400 00:10:33,574 --> 00:10:36,161 Don't worry, though, 401 00:10:33,574 --> 00:10:36,161 it wasn't that great. 402 00:10:36,202 --> 00:10:40,123 That is the greatest 403 00:10:36,202 --> 00:10:40,123 story ever! 404 00:10:40,165 --> 00:10:41,416 Oh, my God! 405 00:10:41,458 --> 00:10:43,502 Wow, wow, wow! 406 00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:46,004 Victoria, I deem 407 00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:46,004 your offering 408 00:10:46,045 --> 00:10:47,130 worthy. 409 00:10:49,007 --> 00:10:52,511 My saga continues. 410 00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:55,596 I went 411 00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:55,596 back to the coffeehouse 412 00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:55,596 to find Shannon. 413 00:10:55,638 --> 00:10:56,973 Barney! 414 00:10:57,015 --> 00:10:58,808 Sugar bear, 415 00:10:57,015 --> 00:10:58,808 where were you? 416 00:10:58,850 --> 00:11:02,812 I'm sorry. My dad 417 00:10:58,850 --> 00:11:02,812 won't let me go. 418 00:11:02,854 --> 00:11:05,273 But the Nicaraguans 419 00:11:02,854 --> 00:11:05,273 need us. 420 00:11:05,315 --> 00:11:07,984 It's just he's still 421 00:11:05,315 --> 00:11:07,984 supporting me. 422 00:11:08,026 --> 00:11:10,362 And, look, he's coming by 423 00:11:08,026 --> 00:11:10,362 soon to talk about it, 424 00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:13,448 but I think 425 00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:13,448 you should go on 426 00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:13,448 without me. 427 00:11:13,490 --> 00:11:15,616 Shannon, there is no... 428 00:11:13,490 --> 00:11:15,616 Barney. 429 00:11:15,658 --> 00:11:17,494 It's your dream. 430 00:11:17,536 --> 00:11:21,080 It's only two years. 431 00:11:17,536 --> 00:11:21,080 I know we can make it. 432 00:11:24,792 --> 00:11:28,296 As I walked away, 433 00:11:24,792 --> 00:11:28,296 I realized Shannon 434 00:11:24,792 --> 00:11:28,296 was an adult. 435 00:11:28,338 --> 00:11:30,631 Her father couldn't 436 00:11:28,338 --> 00:11:30,631 control her life. 437 00:11:30,673 --> 00:11:33,176 I had to go back 438 00:11:30,673 --> 00:11:33,176 and confront him. 439 00:11:37,096 --> 00:11:40,183 She was in the middle 440 00:11:37,096 --> 00:11:40,183 of a heated argument 441 00:11:37,096 --> 00:11:40,183 with her dad. 442 00:11:47,940 --> 00:11:49,359 What? 443 00:11:51,528 --> 00:11:53,071 Now we all gotta drink. 444 00:12:00,370 --> 00:12:02,663 Oh, my God. 445 00:12:00,370 --> 00:12:02,663 What happened next? 446 00:12:03,789 --> 00:12:04,957 Oh, I don't know, guys. 447 00:12:04,999 --> 00:12:06,959 Oh, okay, okay. 448 00:12:07,001 --> 00:12:08,628 Marshall's mom 449 00:12:07,001 --> 00:12:08,628 sent us cookies. 450 00:12:08,669 --> 00:12:09,921 Lily, no! No, Lily! 451 00:12:09,962 --> 00:12:12,006 For the team, Marshall, 452 00:12:09,962 --> 00:12:12,006 for the team. 453 00:12:12,965 --> 00:12:15,176 Hey, Mrs. Eriksen, it's Lily. 454 00:12:15,218 --> 00:12:17,762 Thank you so much 455 00:12:15,218 --> 00:12:17,762 for the delicious cookies. 456 00:12:18,679 --> 00:12:21,307 Mayonnaise. Really? 457 00:12:21,349 --> 00:12:23,351 Never would have guessed. 458 00:12:23,393 --> 00:12:26,479 Yes, well I will definitely 459 00:12:23,393 --> 00:12:26,479 give Marshall a kiss for you. 460 00:12:26,521 --> 00:12:27,813 Okay, take care. 461 00:12:27,855 --> 00:12:29,232 Hi, baby. 462 00:12:29,274 --> 00:12:31,484 Oh, crap! 463 00:12:29,274 --> 00:12:31,484 My mom sent cookies? 464 00:12:31,526 --> 00:12:32,611 Yeah. 465 00:12:34,195 --> 00:12:35,655 I wish we had a dog, 466 00:12:34,195 --> 00:12:35,655 so they wouldn't go to waste. 467 00:12:35,696 --> 00:12:37,323 Yeah. 468 00:12:37,365 --> 00:12:39,867 So, we've got 469 00:12:37,365 --> 00:12:39,867 the whole place 470 00:12:37,365 --> 00:12:39,867 to ourselves. 471 00:12:39,909 --> 00:12:42,537 I'm thinking floor sex. 472 00:12:42,579 --> 00:12:43,996 Sounds reasonable. 473 00:12:46,082 --> 00:12:47,667 Oh, floor's cold. 474 00:12:48,834 --> 00:12:51,003 Grab that afghan 475 00:12:48,834 --> 00:12:51,003 your mom made. 476 00:12:52,797 --> 00:12:54,633 The whole time? 477 00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:55,716 The 478 00:12:55,758 --> 00:12:56,759 whole 479 00:12:56,801 --> 00:12:59,345 time. 480 00:12:59,387 --> 00:13:01,598 Barney, that was really 481 00:12:59,387 --> 00:13:01,598 embarrassing for both of us. 482 00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:04,100 We just earned 483 00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:04,100 a huge chunk of story. 484 00:13:04,142 --> 00:13:06,478 Right. So where was I? 485 00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:09,314 Oh, yeah. Shannon was 486 00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:09,314 sucking face with her dad. 487 00:13:18,114 --> 00:13:20,575 How could... 488 00:13:18,114 --> 00:13:20,575 With your dad? 489 00:13:20,617 --> 00:13:25,288 I mean, I... I know, 490 00:13:20,617 --> 00:13:25,288 judge not lest ye 491 00:13:20,617 --> 00:13:25,288 be judged, but gross! 492 00:13:25,330 --> 00:13:27,332 Barney, that's not my dad. 493 00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:29,959 His name's Greg. 494 00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:29,959 I've been seeing him 495 00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:29,959 for a few weeks. 496 00:13:30,001 --> 00:13:33,379 I was hoping you'd just leave 497 00:13:30,001 --> 00:13:33,379 and we could avoid all this. 498 00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:35,756 We're breaking up? 499 00:13:35,798 --> 00:13:37,967 But what about 500 00:13:35,798 --> 00:13:37,967 the Peace Corps? 501 00:13:38,009 --> 00:13:41,429 Yeah, 502 00:13:38,009 --> 00:13:41,429 all this granola business, 503 00:13:38,009 --> 00:13:41,429 it was just a phase. 504 00:13:41,471 --> 00:13:44,683 Greg's older. 505 00:13:41,471 --> 00:13:44,683 He's successful. 506 00:13:44,724 --> 00:13:47,268 He buys me 507 00:13:44,724 --> 00:13:47,268 all this cool stuff. 508 00:13:48,436 --> 00:13:50,438 But I love you. 509 00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:51,772 But he has a boat. 510 00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:56,402 You should go 511 00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:56,402 to the Peace Corps. 512 00:13:56,444 --> 00:13:57,903 And forget about me. 513 00:14:01,616 --> 00:14:03,826 I didn't go. 514 00:14:03,868 --> 00:14:07,372 That night, 515 00:14:03,868 --> 00:14:07,372 I recorded my video 516 00:14:03,868 --> 00:14:07,372 and mailed it to Shannon. 517 00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:09,248 I didn't see her 518 00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:09,248 until a week later. 519 00:14:10,375 --> 00:14:12,293 There's sugar 520 00:14:10,375 --> 00:14:12,293 in the basket. 521 00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:17,298 Shannon! 522 00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:17,298 Shannon, you came back! 523 00:14:17,340 --> 00:14:19,509 I'm just picking up 524 00:14:17,340 --> 00:14:19,509 my last paycheck. 525 00:14:19,551 --> 00:14:23,388 Oh. Did you... 526 00:14:19,551 --> 00:14:23,388 Did you, uh, 527 00:14:19,551 --> 00:14:23,388 did you get my tape? 528 00:14:24,430 --> 00:14:25,765 Oh, she got the tape. 529 00:14:26,725 --> 00:14:31,062 You? You... It was you? 530 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:36,609 Oh, man! 531 00:15:54,312 --> 00:15:56,063 Oh, you poor thing. 532 00:15:56,105 --> 00:15:57,857 The story's not over. 533 00:15:57,898 --> 00:15:59,275 I did see Shannon 534 00:15:57,898 --> 00:15:59,275 one more time. 535 00:15:59,317 --> 00:16:00,318 When? 536 00:16:00,359 --> 00:16:02,361 Sorry. Sorry. 537 00:16:04,322 --> 00:16:06,616 Oh, you've gotta 538 00:16:04,322 --> 00:16:06,616 tell us. 539 00:16:06,658 --> 00:16:11,245 I don't know. I think 540 00:16:06,658 --> 00:16:11,245 I might need one last story 541 00:16:06,658 --> 00:16:11,245 to get me through it. 542 00:16:13,372 --> 00:16:14,540 Fine. 543 00:16:14,582 --> 00:16:16,542 Um, oh, 544 00:16:14,582 --> 00:16:16,542 the Green Testicles story. 545 00:16:16,584 --> 00:16:18,544 So, I was playing 546 00:16:16,584 --> 00:16:18,544 Ultimate Frisbee 547 00:16:16,584 --> 00:16:18,544 in college, 548 00:16:18,586 --> 00:16:21,673 and there was this 549 00:16:18,586 --> 00:16:21,673 barefoot dude with 550 00:16:18,586 --> 00:16:21,673 a weirdly sharp toenail... 551 00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:23,341 Oh, come on, Ted! 552 00:16:23,382 --> 00:16:25,426 You know what story 553 00:16:23,382 --> 00:16:25,426 I wanna hear. 554 00:16:25,468 --> 00:16:28,304 Everyone else here 555 00:16:25,468 --> 00:16:28,304 has manned-up tonight 556 00:16:25,468 --> 00:16:28,304 and told the truth. 557 00:16:28,346 --> 00:16:29,597 Why can't you? 558 00:16:31,015 --> 00:16:33,267 You're right. 559 00:16:33,309 --> 00:16:35,687 Victoria, I'm sorry 560 00:16:33,309 --> 00:16:35,687 I haven't told you this yet, 561 00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:40,941 but a while back, 562 00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:40,941 I was kind of 563 00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:40,941 into Robin. 564 00:16:40,983 --> 00:16:44,987 In fact, on our first date, 565 00:16:40,983 --> 00:16:44,987 I might've said, "I love you." 566 00:16:46,698 --> 00:16:49,575 Understandably, 567 00:16:46,698 --> 00:16:49,575 she freaked out, and I left, 568 00:16:49,617 --> 00:16:53,245 but unfortunately, 569 00:16:49,617 --> 00:16:53,245 the night did not end there. 570 00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:58,710 We all ended up at the bar 571 00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:58,710 with our cabdriver, Ranjit. 572 00:16:58,751 --> 00:17:00,378 To one hell of a night! 573 00:17:03,506 --> 00:17:04,883 And I drank. 574 00:17:04,924 --> 00:17:06,342 A lot. 575 00:17:09,595 --> 00:17:12,431 So, you guys think 576 00:17:09,595 --> 00:17:12,431 I should have kissed her? 577 00:17:12,473 --> 00:17:13,850 Well, I'll tell you what. 578 00:17:13,892 --> 00:17:17,562 I'm gonna go kiss her. 579 00:17:13,892 --> 00:17:17,562 Right now. 580 00:17:17,603 --> 00:17:19,731 Yes! Do it! 581 00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:20,857 To the car. 582 00:17:39,250 --> 00:17:41,627 Hello? 583 00:17:39,250 --> 00:17:41,627 Is someone out there? 584 00:17:51,303 --> 00:17:54,098 You ralphed and ran? 585 00:17:54,139 --> 00:17:56,684 I thought you were 586 00:17:54,139 --> 00:17:56,684 vomit-free since '93. 587 00:17:56,726 --> 00:17:58,352 So, that was a lie? 588 00:17:59,979 --> 00:18:01,647 You re-returned for me. 589 00:18:02,565 --> 00:18:04,358 That's really sweet. 590 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:07,612 Though you kind of 591 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:07,612 ruined my customized 592 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:07,612 Scherbatsky doormat. 593 00:18:07,653 --> 00:18:08,780 Sorry. 594 00:18:08,821 --> 00:18:09,948 It's okay. 595 00:18:11,323 --> 00:18:13,075 Victoria, 596 00:18:11,323 --> 00:18:13,075 I know this must be... 597 00:18:13,117 --> 00:18:15,453 Yeah. 598 00:18:13,117 --> 00:18:15,453 It kind of is. 599 00:18:19,248 --> 00:18:20,666 Wow, Ted, you were right. 600 00:18:20,708 --> 00:18:23,335 You shouldn't have 601 00:18:20,708 --> 00:18:23,335 told that story. 602 00:18:23,377 --> 00:18:26,422 But you did earn yourself 603 00:18:23,377 --> 00:18:26,422 the right to the end of mine. 604 00:18:26,464 --> 00:18:28,841 We fast-forward eight years 605 00:18:26,464 --> 00:18:28,841 into the future. 606 00:18:28,883 --> 00:18:32,303 Wait, eight years. 607 00:18:28,883 --> 00:18:32,303 That's... That's this year. 608 00:18:32,344 --> 00:18:35,598 Marshall, not only 609 00:18:32,344 --> 00:18:35,598 is it this year, 610 00:18:32,344 --> 00:18:35,598 it's tonight. 611 00:18:45,733 --> 00:18:46,818 Hi. 612 00:18:48,235 --> 00:18:49,320 Barney? 613 00:18:49,361 --> 00:18:51,196 Hi, Shannon. 614 00:18:51,238 --> 00:18:53,658 What are you doing here? 615 00:18:51,238 --> 00:18:53,658 Just listen. 616 00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:57,328 When you left me 617 00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:57,328 for that guy Greg, 618 00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:57,328 it changed me. 619 00:18:57,369 --> 00:18:59,163 Now, I'm this. 620 00:19:00,832 --> 00:19:02,458 I... I... I know 621 00:19:00,832 --> 00:19:02,458 this is crazy, 622 00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:04,794 it's just, you were once 623 00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:04,794 such a big part of my life, 624 00:19:04,836 --> 00:19:07,421 and it just seemed insane 625 00:19:04,836 --> 00:19:07,421 that you didn't know 626 00:19:04,836 --> 00:19:07,421 who I am now. 627 00:19:07,463 --> 00:19:09,924 So, here I am. 628 00:19:11,926 --> 00:19:13,970 And then 629 00:19:11,926 --> 00:19:13,970 she told me about her life. 630 00:19:14,012 --> 00:19:17,515 She and Greg 631 00:19:14,012 --> 00:19:17,515 dated for a while, 632 00:19:14,012 --> 00:19:17,515 and then split up. 633 00:19:17,556 --> 00:19:19,141 But here's the real kicker. 634 00:19:19,183 --> 00:19:20,977 Shannon's a mom. 635 00:19:21,019 --> 00:19:22,854 She has a little kid 636 00:19:21,019 --> 00:19:22,854 named Max. 637 00:19:23,980 --> 00:19:25,105 That's crazy. 638 00:19:26,065 --> 00:19:27,692 That could've been my kid. 639 00:19:28,818 --> 00:19:31,529 But instead, 640 00:19:28,818 --> 00:19:31,529 what do I have? 641 00:19:31,570 --> 00:19:34,615 My whole life's 642 00:19:31,570 --> 00:19:34,615 some money in the bank, 643 00:19:31,570 --> 00:19:34,615 some suits in my closet, 644 00:19:34,657 --> 00:19:37,493 and a string of 645 00:19:34,657 --> 00:19:37,493 one-night stands. 646 00:19:38,744 --> 00:19:40,496 Hey, come on. 647 00:19:40,538 --> 00:19:42,623 I mean, just because 648 00:19:40,538 --> 00:19:42,623 her life went one way, 649 00:19:42,665 --> 00:19:46,502 and yours went another, 650 00:19:42,665 --> 00:19:46,502 doesn't make 651 00:19:42,665 --> 00:19:46,502 your life any worse. 652 00:19:48,295 --> 00:19:49,755 My life rocks! 653 00:19:51,215 --> 00:19:52,884 Money, suits and sex. 654 00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:55,260 These are tears of joy. 655 00:19:55,302 --> 00:19:57,722 I could be cooped up 656 00:19:55,302 --> 00:19:57,722 in some tiny apartment, 657 00:19:57,763 --> 00:20:00,265 changing some brat's 658 00:19:57,763 --> 00:20:00,265 poopy diapers, 659 00:20:00,307 --> 00:20:04,103 but instead, 660 00:20:00,307 --> 00:20:04,103 I'm out in the world 661 00:20:00,307 --> 00:20:04,103 being awesome 24/7, 365. 662 00:20:04,144 --> 00:20:06,689 You let me dodge 663 00:20:04,144 --> 00:20:06,689 a bullet, Big Guy. 664 00:20:06,731 --> 00:20:10,234 Plus, here's the mini-cherry, 665 00:20:06,731 --> 00:20:10,234 on top of the regular cherry, 666 00:20:10,275 --> 00:20:12,945 on top of the 667 00:20:10,275 --> 00:20:12,945 sundae of awesomeness 668 00:20:10,275 --> 00:20:12,945 that is my life. 669 00:20:12,987 --> 00:20:15,364 After Shannon and I 670 00:20:12,987 --> 00:20:15,364 talked, I nailed her. 671 00:20:16,866 --> 00:20:17,909 No. 672 00:20:16,866 --> 00:20:17,909 Yeah. 673 00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:19,284 No. 674 00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:19,284 Yeah. 675 00:20:19,326 --> 00:20:21,203 Sorry, don't buy it. 676 00:20:19,326 --> 00:20:21,203 You're making it up. 677 00:20:21,245 --> 00:20:23,330 You're just trying 678 00:20:21,245 --> 00:20:23,330 to cover the fact 679 00:20:23,372 --> 00:20:26,125 that you actually had 680 00:20:23,372 --> 00:20:26,125 a profound moment of doubt 681 00:20:23,372 --> 00:20:26,125 about yourself and... 682 00:20:27,459 --> 00:20:29,503 Oh, my God. 683 00:20:27,459 --> 00:20:29,503 Oh, Barney, oh. 684 00:20:29,545 --> 00:20:31,422 Video's pretty good 685 00:20:29,545 --> 00:20:31,422 on this phone, huh? 686 00:20:31,463 --> 00:20:33,340 Is your phone on? 687 00:20:33,382 --> 00:20:35,801 Oh, no, 688 00:20:33,382 --> 00:20:35,801 it just takes a while 689 00:20:33,382 --> 00:20:35,801 to power down. 690 00:20:35,843 --> 00:20:37,845 Oh, gross. Just stop it. 691 00:20:40,347 --> 00:20:42,558 Ladies, gentlemen, Ted. 692 00:20:44,226 --> 00:20:45,895 This has been 693 00:20:44,226 --> 00:20:45,895 a wonderful evening. 694 00:20:45,937 --> 00:20:47,730 I got great dirt 695 00:20:45,937 --> 00:20:47,730 on all you guys. 696 00:20:47,772 --> 00:20:49,815 I got Ted to 697 00:20:47,772 --> 00:20:49,815 tell the re-return. 698 00:20:49,857 --> 00:20:51,358 I finally nailed Shannon! 699 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:54,653 Told her I'd 700 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:54,653 call her tomorrow. 701 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:54,653 Yeah, right. 702 00:20:54,695 --> 00:20:58,365 And I rediscovered 703 00:20:54,695 --> 00:20:58,365 just how awesomely 704 00:20:54,695 --> 00:20:58,365 awesome my life is. 705 00:20:58,407 --> 00:20:59,951 Peace out, hombres. 706 00:21:03,913 --> 00:21:05,957 I think Barney 707 00:21:03,913 --> 00:21:05,957 just won game night. 708 00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:11,796 We spend so much 709 00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:11,796 effort trying to keep parts 710 00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:11,796 of our lives hidden, 711 00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:14,048 even from our closest friends 712 00:21:14,090 --> 00:21:16,675 that those rare times 713 00:21:14,090 --> 00:21:16,675 when we do open up, 714 00:21:16,717 --> 00:21:19,845 it's amazing 715 00:21:16,717 --> 00:21:19,845 how minor those secrets 716 00:21:16,717 --> 00:21:19,845 all end up seeming. 717 00:21:27,478 --> 00:21:29,271 $100 says when you 718 00:21:27,478 --> 00:21:29,271 turn around... 719 00:21:29,313 --> 00:21:31,941 Of course, not every secret 720 00:21:29,313 --> 00:21:31,941 was told that night. 721 00:21:33,567 --> 00:21:35,861 But that's getting 722 00:21:33,567 --> 00:21:35,861 ahead of the story.