1 00:00:01,315 --> 00:00:02,691 and we all went out to brunch. 2 00:00:02,691 --> 00:00:04,691 We all look 3 00:00:02,691 --> 00:00:04,691 pretty happy, right? 4 00:00:04,691 --> 00:00:06,148 Wrong. 5 00:00:06,148 --> 00:00:07,565 I wish your face 6 00:00:06,148 --> 00:00:07,565 would melt off. 7 00:00:07,565 --> 00:00:08,816 I wish your eyeballs 8 00:00:07,565 --> 00:00:08,816 would explode. 9 00:00:08,816 --> 00:00:10,939 I hate you. 10 00:00:08,816 --> 00:00:10,939 I hate you more. 11 00:00:10,939 --> 00:00:12,064 I'm going to kill him. 12 00:00:12,064 --> 00:00:13,482 I can't say I blame you. 13 00:00:13,482 --> 00:00:15,649 No, I mean, I'm seriously 14 00:00:13,482 --> 00:00:15,649 going to kill him. 15 00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:18,023 I don't care 16 00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:18,023 how unpleasant it is. 17 00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:18,023 You have to talk to him. 18 00:00:18,023 --> 00:00:19,939 Not now. 19 00:00:18,023 --> 00:00:19,939 Okay, if you don't, I will. 20 00:00:19,939 --> 00:00:21,774 Robin... 21 00:00:21,774 --> 00:00:23,899 Okay, for any 22 00:00:21,774 --> 00:00:23,899 of this to make sense, 23 00:00:23,899 --> 00:00:26,565 you got to understand 24 00:00:23,899 --> 00:00:26,565 there are three parts 25 00:00:23,899 --> 00:00:26,565 to this story. 26 00:00:26,565 --> 00:00:28,649 Let's start with 27 00:00:26,565 --> 00:00:28,649 the Marshall and Lily part. 28 00:00:30,649 --> 00:00:32,732 As a 30th anniversary gift, 29 00:00:32,732 --> 00:00:34,898 I had flown my parents 30 00:00:32,732 --> 00:00:34,898 to New York for the weekend. 31 00:00:34,898 --> 00:00:36,981 Oh, I forgot to tell you, 32 00:00:36,981 --> 00:00:39,440 your cousin Jimmy 33 00:00:36,981 --> 00:00:39,440 had a wonderful time 34 00:00:36,981 --> 00:00:39,440 at that spa he visited. 35 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:42,565 You mean the spa 36 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:42,565 the judge ordered him 37 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:42,565 to go to, to quit cocaine? 38 00:00:42,565 --> 00:00:45,023 Coffee? 39 00:00:45,023 --> 00:00:47,190 Now, 40 00:00:45,023 --> 00:00:47,190 Grandma and Grandpa didn't 41 00:00:45,023 --> 00:00:47,190 like to talk about things 42 00:00:47,190 --> 00:00:49,190 that were uncomfortable, 43 00:00:47,190 --> 00:00:49,190 emotional, 44 00:00:49,190 --> 00:00:51,231 or in any way real. 45 00:00:51,231 --> 00:00:53,190 Hi, Mr. And Mrs. Mosby. 46 00:00:53,190 --> 00:00:54,898 Oh, Lily! Hi, Marshall. 47 00:00:54,898 --> 00:00:56,524 Good to see you. 48 00:00:56,524 --> 00:00:58,565 I was just stopping by 49 00:00:56,524 --> 00:00:58,565 to pick up some of my things. 50 00:00:58,565 --> 00:01:02,190 Yes, we were so sorry 51 00:00:58,565 --> 00:01:02,190 to hear about your... 52 00:01:02,190 --> 00:01:04,273 You know, the... The... 53 00:01:06,273 --> 00:01:07,981 Well... 54 00:01:07,981 --> 00:01:10,315 Lily calling off the wedding 55 00:01:07,981 --> 00:01:10,315 and dumping me? 56 00:01:10,315 --> 00:01:12,816 Me begging Marshall 57 00:01:10,315 --> 00:01:12,816 to take me back 58 00:01:10,315 --> 00:01:12,816 and him rejecting me? 59 00:01:12,816 --> 00:01:14,607 I love your hair. 60 00:01:34,148 --> 00:01:36,231 This was only 61 00:01:34,148 --> 00:01:36,231 the second time 62 00:01:36,231 --> 00:01:38,231 Marshall and Lily 63 00:01:36,231 --> 00:01:38,231 had seen each other 64 00:01:36,231 --> 00:01:38,231 since breaking up, 65 00:01:38,231 --> 00:01:40,732 but to their credit, 66 00:01:38,231 --> 00:01:40,732 it wasn't that awkward. 67 00:01:40,732 --> 00:01:42,106 Actually, we're cool. 68 00:01:42,106 --> 00:01:45,315 We just divided up CDs. 69 00:01:42,106 --> 00:01:45,315 It was all very civil. 70 00:01:45,315 --> 00:01:47,148 I'm proud of us. 71 00:01:45,315 --> 00:01:47,148 We're good. 72 00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:50,482 Well, we were all going to go 73 00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:50,482 to Casa A Pezzi at 8:00. 74 00:01:50,482 --> 00:01:52,691 Lily, would you 75 00:01:50,482 --> 00:01:52,691 like to join us? 76 00:01:52,691 --> 00:01:54,357 Um... 77 00:01:54,357 --> 00:01:56,565 What? 78 00:01:56,565 --> 00:01:59,857 Well, I don't want to go 79 00:01:56,565 --> 00:01:59,857 if it would make you 80 00:01:56,565 --> 00:01:59,857 uncomfortable. 81 00:01:59,857 --> 00:02:01,440 Why would it? 82 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:04,315 Well, I mean, 83 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:04,315 yeah, we're good, 84 00:02:04,315 --> 00:02:07,774 but you got to admit 85 00:02:04,315 --> 00:02:07,774 there's that stuff 86 00:02:04,315 --> 00:02:07,774 between us. 87 00:02:08,815 --> 00:02:10,440 Not for me. 88 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:12,649 Now it's just like 89 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:12,649 we're friends. 90 00:02:12,649 --> 00:02:14,691 It's like we're 91 00:02:12,649 --> 00:02:14,691 brother and sister. 92 00:02:16,939 --> 00:02:18,691 "Brother and sister"? 93 00:02:19,898 --> 00:02:21,607 Okay. Fine, yeah. 94 00:02:21,607 --> 00:02:23,482 I'll see you at 95 00:02:21,607 --> 00:02:23,482 the restaurant, bro. 96 00:02:26,774 --> 00:02:29,273 See? 97 00:02:26,774 --> 00:02:29,273 Not awkward at all. 98 00:02:29,273 --> 00:02:30,815 Hello, everyone. 99 00:02:29,273 --> 00:02:30,815 Hi. 100 00:02:30,815 --> 00:02:32,649 Hello, Marshall. 101 00:02:32,649 --> 00:02:34,732 Lily, that is 102 00:02:32,649 --> 00:02:34,732 a stunning dress. 103 00:02:34,732 --> 00:02:36,815 Oh, thanks. 104 00:02:36,815 --> 00:02:38,607 It's kind of revealing, 105 00:02:38,607 --> 00:02:40,565 but I thought, 106 00:02:38,607 --> 00:02:40,565 "Hey, we're all family." 107 00:02:40,565 --> 00:02:41,898 Right, bro? 108 00:02:43,524 --> 00:02:44,857 What's wrong? 109 00:02:44,857 --> 00:02:47,939 Oh, I... I hurt my 110 00:02:44,857 --> 00:02:47,939 ankle in yoga today. 111 00:02:47,939 --> 00:02:50,773 The instructor told me 112 00:02:47,939 --> 00:02:50,773 to just take deep breaths 113 00:02:50,773 --> 00:02:52,565 to get through the pain, 114 00:02:50,773 --> 00:02:52,565 just... 115 00:02:59,649 --> 00:03:02,773 Are you all right? 116 00:02:59,649 --> 00:03:02,773 You're kind of sweating. 117 00:03:02,773 --> 00:03:04,981 No, I'm fine. 118 00:03:02,773 --> 00:03:04,981 It's just... 119 00:03:04,981 --> 00:03:07,315 This roll is really spicy. 120 00:03:08,315 --> 00:03:10,273 Lily is evil! 121 00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:12,398 She just wore that 122 00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:12,398 dress to torture me. 123 00:03:12,398 --> 00:03:14,482 Well, you know what? 124 00:03:12,398 --> 00:03:14,482 Two can play at that game. 125 00:03:14,482 --> 00:03:17,565 See, at brunch, 126 00:03:14,482 --> 00:03:17,565 I'm going to torture 127 00:03:14,482 --> 00:03:17,565 Lily right back. 128 00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:20,815 Yeah. There's a part 129 00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:20,815 of my body that she's got 130 00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:20,815 a weakness for, too. 131 00:03:20,815 --> 00:03:23,064 Dude, you can't whip 132 00:03:20,815 --> 00:03:23,064 that out at brunch. 133 00:03:24,023 --> 00:03:26,524 No, not that. 134 00:03:26,524 --> 00:03:28,815 I'm going to 135 00:03:26,524 --> 00:03:28,815 unleash my calves. 136 00:03:30,106 --> 00:03:31,939 That's crazy. 137 00:03:31,939 --> 00:03:34,023 Nobody's turned on 138 00:03:31,939 --> 00:03:34,023 by men's calves. 139 00:03:34,023 --> 00:03:36,273 They're a thoroughly 140 00:03:34,023 --> 00:03:36,273 unerotic body part. 141 00:03:36,273 --> 00:03:37,649 Well, yeah, 142 00:03:36,273 --> 00:03:37,649 I'd say that, too, 143 00:03:37,649 --> 00:03:40,064 if I had those skinny 144 00:03:37,649 --> 00:03:40,064 little chicken legs. 145 00:03:42,231 --> 00:03:44,607 I'll be waiting by the phone 146 00:03:42,231 --> 00:03:44,607 for your apology. 147 00:03:46,482 --> 00:03:48,565 So, Marshall 148 00:03:46,482 --> 00:03:48,565 showed up at brunch 149 00:03:46,482 --> 00:03:48,565 with a plan. 150 00:03:48,565 --> 00:03:50,231 Hello. 151 00:03:48,565 --> 00:03:50,231 Oh, hi. 152 00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:51,482 Hey, Marshall. 153 00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:51,482 Hey. 154 00:03:51,482 --> 00:03:53,315 Hey. How are you feeling? 155 00:03:53,315 --> 00:03:55,398 You looked kind of 156 00:03:53,315 --> 00:03:55,398 feverish last night. 157 00:03:55,398 --> 00:03:58,357 Oh, no, 158 00:03:55,398 --> 00:03:58,357 I actually feel great. 159 00:03:58,357 --> 00:04:01,064 It is kind of warm in here, 160 00:03:58,357 --> 00:04:01,064 though, isn't it? 161 00:04:01,064 --> 00:04:03,565 Well, I don't know, 162 00:04:01,064 --> 00:04:03,565 if anything, it's kind of... 163 00:04:03,565 --> 00:04:04,690 What are you doing? 164 00:04:04,690 --> 00:04:06,482 Oh, nothing. 165 00:04:04,690 --> 00:04:06,482 Nothing at all. 166 00:04:06,482 --> 00:04:09,649 I'm just making myself feel 167 00:04:06,482 --> 00:04:09,649 a little bit more comfortable. 168 00:04:17,064 --> 00:04:19,398 Oh, yes. 169 00:04:19,398 --> 00:04:21,273 I've been doing all these 170 00:04:19,398 --> 00:04:21,273 toe lifts lately, 171 00:04:21,273 --> 00:04:24,565 and so my calves have 172 00:04:21,273 --> 00:04:24,565 really been cramping up. 173 00:04:35,231 --> 00:04:36,398 Take off your dress. 174 00:04:36,398 --> 00:04:38,857 Take off 175 00:04:36,398 --> 00:04:38,857 the rest of your pants. 176 00:04:40,148 --> 00:04:42,064 I really wasn't expecting 177 00:04:40,148 --> 00:04:42,064 that to happen. 178 00:04:42,064 --> 00:04:43,939 Yeah, me, neither. 179 00:04:42,064 --> 00:04:43,939 It kind of complicates 180 00:04:42,064 --> 00:04:43,939 things, doesn't it? 181 00:04:43,939 --> 00:04:45,690 Yeah, it does. 182 00:04:45,690 --> 00:04:48,023 Why did you have 183 00:04:45,690 --> 00:04:48,023 to throw your magnificent 184 00:04:45,690 --> 00:04:48,023 calves at me? 185 00:04:48,023 --> 00:04:50,023 You know you have 186 00:04:48,023 --> 00:04:50,023 a punter's leg. 187 00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:52,524 Well, 188 00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:52,524 why did you have to throw 189 00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:52,524 your beautiful boobs at me? 190 00:04:52,524 --> 00:04:55,357 You know you have boobs. 191 00:04:55,357 --> 00:04:58,773 Just admit it, 192 00:04:55,357 --> 00:04:58,773 you came here 193 00:04:55,357 --> 00:04:58,773 trying to seduce me. 194 00:04:58,773 --> 00:05:00,857 Seduce you? 195 00:04:58,773 --> 00:05:00,857 You seduced me. 196 00:05:00,857 --> 00:05:03,731 You sat down next to me and 197 00:05:00,857 --> 00:05:03,731 took most of your pants off. 198 00:05:03,731 --> 00:05:05,981 You went to San Francisco 199 00:05:03,731 --> 00:05:05,981 for three months. 200 00:05:05,981 --> 00:05:07,273 How is that seducing you? 201 00:05:07,273 --> 00:05:08,939 Well, it's not, 202 00:05:07,273 --> 00:05:08,939 but I'm still mad about it. 203 00:05:08,939 --> 00:05:11,315 All right, that's it. 204 00:05:08,939 --> 00:05:11,315 I want The Beatles Anthology. 205 00:05:11,315 --> 00:05:12,857 Oh, well, that's too bad, 206 00:05:11,315 --> 00:05:12,857 I'm keeping it. 207 00:05:12,857 --> 00:05:14,773 And you know the U2 208 00:05:12,857 --> 00:05:14,773 box set I gave you? 209 00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:17,064 Look inside, 210 00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:17,064 all Dave Matthews. 211 00:05:17,064 --> 00:05:18,398 You are evil. 212 00:05:18,398 --> 00:05:19,773 Smile. 213 00:05:22,273 --> 00:05:23,315 I'm going to kill him. 214 00:05:23,315 --> 00:05:24,731 I can't say I blame you. 215 00:05:24,731 --> 00:05:29,064 No, I mean, I'm seriously 216 00:05:24,731 --> 00:05:29,064 going to kill him. 217 00:05:29,064 --> 00:05:31,106 Now let's talk 218 00:05:29,064 --> 00:05:31,106 about the Barney part 219 00:05:29,064 --> 00:05:31,106 of the story. 220 00:05:33,315 --> 00:05:34,731 This was going to be 221 00:05:33,315 --> 00:05:34,731 Robin's first time 222 00:05:34,731 --> 00:05:36,273 meeting my parents, 223 00:05:36,273 --> 00:05:38,064 so we were both 224 00:05:36,273 --> 00:05:38,064 a little nervous. 225 00:05:39,190 --> 00:05:41,273 Barney, 226 00:05:39,190 --> 00:05:41,273 what are you doing here? 227 00:05:41,273 --> 00:05:42,981 I'm here to 228 00:05:41,273 --> 00:05:42,981 meet your parents. 229 00:05:42,981 --> 00:05:44,690 They must be 230 00:05:42,981 --> 00:05:44,690 dying to meet me 231 00:05:44,690 --> 00:05:46,398 after all the legendary 232 00:05:44,690 --> 00:05:46,398 Barney stories 233 00:05:44,690 --> 00:05:46,398 you've told them. 234 00:05:46,398 --> 00:05:48,148 I haven't told them 235 00:05:46,398 --> 00:05:48,148 any legendary Barney stories. 236 00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:49,440 What? 237 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:51,231 Barney, here is a list 238 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:51,231 of all the things 239 00:05:51,231 --> 00:05:53,565 I talk with my dad about: 240 00:05:51,231 --> 00:05:53,565 baseball... 241 00:05:56,273 --> 00:05:57,398 But I'm your best friend. 242 00:05:57,398 --> 00:05:58,773 Well, actually, 243 00:05:57,398 --> 00:05:58,773 Marshall's my... 244 00:05:58,773 --> 00:06:00,398 I'm the most important 245 00:05:58,773 --> 00:06:00,398 person in your life. 246 00:06:00,398 --> 00:06:01,731 Well, Robin's actually... 247 00:06:01,731 --> 00:06:03,690 How could your parents 248 00:06:01,731 --> 00:06:03,690 not know about me? 249 00:06:03,690 --> 00:06:05,815 I'm delightful. 250 00:06:05,815 --> 00:06:09,690 To us, sure, 251 00:06:05,815 --> 00:06:09,690 in very small, 252 00:06:05,815 --> 00:06:09,690 infrequent doses. 253 00:06:09,690 --> 00:06:11,524 I mean, come on, 254 00:06:09,690 --> 00:06:11,524 you're not exactly 255 00:06:09,690 --> 00:06:11,524 the kind of friend 256 00:06:11,524 --> 00:06:13,148 parents want 257 00:06:11,524 --> 00:06:13,148 their kid to have. 258 00:06:13,148 --> 00:06:15,190 Oh, really? 259 00:06:15,190 --> 00:06:19,273 Then I guess 260 00:06:15,190 --> 00:06:19,273 those shoes aren't the thing 261 00:06:15,190 --> 00:06:19,273 you're most wrong about today. 262 00:06:23,273 --> 00:06:25,064 Hey, Mom. Hi, Dad. 263 00:06:23,273 --> 00:06:25,064 MR. Ted. 264 00:06:25,064 --> 00:06:26,482 I know you've all 265 00:06:25,064 --> 00:06:26,482 been excited to meet... 266 00:06:26,482 --> 00:06:27,981 Barney Stinson. 267 00:06:27,981 --> 00:06:30,524 An honor to meet 268 00:06:27,981 --> 00:06:30,524 the two of you. 269 00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:32,482 That needlepoint 270 00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:32,482 "Bless This Mess" pillow 271 00:06:32,482 --> 00:06:34,231 you made for Ted? 272 00:06:32,482 --> 00:06:34,231 What a stitch. 273 00:06:34,231 --> 00:06:36,440 "Stitch." 274 00:06:34,231 --> 00:06:36,440 Did that just happen? 275 00:06:38,190 --> 00:06:40,231 Mom, Dad, 276 00:06:38,190 --> 00:06:40,231 this is my girlfriend, Robin. 277 00:06:40,231 --> 00:06:41,524 Hello, Robin. 278 00:06:40,231 --> 00:06:41,524 Hello. 279 00:06:41,524 --> 00:06:43,357 Oh, it's wonderful 280 00:06:41,524 --> 00:06:43,357 to meet you, Robin. 281 00:06:43,357 --> 00:06:46,148 Oh, you are so pretty. 282 00:06:43,357 --> 00:06:46,148 Isn't she pretty, Al? 283 00:06:46,148 --> 00:06:47,857 A real looker. 284 00:06:47,857 --> 00:06:50,939 That's funny, 285 00:06:47,857 --> 00:06:50,939 I didn't even "look" 286 00:06:47,857 --> 00:06:50,939 in the mirror today. 287 00:06:52,648 --> 00:06:55,231 That's not anything, 288 00:06:52,648 --> 00:06:55,231 is it? 289 00:06:55,231 --> 00:06:58,981 So, I made a reservation at 290 00:06:55,231 --> 00:06:58,981 San Marino tonight for 8:00. 291 00:06:58,981 --> 00:07:01,939 San Marino. 292 00:07:01,939 --> 00:07:03,773 Oh, you're serious. Yikes. 293 00:07:03,773 --> 00:07:06,148 No, we have to try 294 00:07:03,773 --> 00:07:06,148 Casa A Pezzi. 295 00:07:06,148 --> 00:07:08,106 Best salmon risotto 296 00:07:06,148 --> 00:07:08,106 I have ever had. 297 00:07:08,106 --> 00:07:10,231 I love salmon risotto. 298 00:07:10,231 --> 00:07:12,898 I know. 299 00:07:12,898 --> 00:07:14,939 How are we supposed to get 300 00:07:12,898 --> 00:07:14,939 a table at Casa A Pezzi? 301 00:07:14,939 --> 00:07:16,648 They're booked for weeks. 302 00:07:16,648 --> 00:07:19,064 Well, lucky for you, 303 00:07:16,648 --> 00:07:19,064 I happen to know 304 00:07:16,648 --> 00:07:19,064 the head waitress, 305 00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:20,273 which is ironic because... 306 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,690 Stop it, don't. 307 00:07:22,690 --> 00:07:27,648 Ironic because we both work 308 00:07:22,690 --> 00:07:27,648 at a homeless shelter 309 00:07:22,690 --> 00:07:27,648 where I serve the food. 310 00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:29,898 Where do you volunteer, 311 00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:29,898 Robin? 312 00:07:30,981 --> 00:07:32,523 What's the matter with you? 313 00:07:32,523 --> 00:07:35,273 I'm his girlfriend, 314 00:07:32,523 --> 00:07:35,273 and I'm not even 315 00:07:32,523 --> 00:07:35,273 trying that hard. 316 00:07:35,273 --> 00:07:37,398 Way to wreck the curve, 317 00:07:35,273 --> 00:07:37,398 kiss ass. 318 00:07:37,398 --> 00:07:39,023 Robin, I'm his best friend. 319 00:07:39,023 --> 00:07:40,273 That's a commitment. 320 00:07:40,273 --> 00:07:43,190 Girlfriend, 321 00:07:40,273 --> 00:07:43,190 that's like a bad flu. 322 00:07:43,190 --> 00:07:45,106 Out of your system after 323 00:07:43,190 --> 00:07:45,106 a couple weeks in bed. 324 00:07:45,106 --> 00:07:46,315 High five! 325 00:07:47,273 --> 00:07:48,564 Can I help? 326 00:07:48,564 --> 00:07:50,190 Yes, you can, Virginia. 327 00:07:50,190 --> 00:07:52,023 There's a story 328 00:07:50,190 --> 00:07:52,023 behind that brooch, 329 00:07:52,023 --> 00:07:53,523 and I'm going 330 00:07:52,023 --> 00:07:53,523 to hear it. 331 00:07:53,523 --> 00:07:54,857 Well, funny you should ask. 332 00:07:59,857 --> 00:08:03,023 Whoa! Bravo, Barney! 333 00:08:03,023 --> 00:08:05,857 That is my 334 00:08:03,023 --> 00:08:05,857 all-time favorite sonata. 335 00:08:05,857 --> 00:08:07,315 Barney, 336 00:08:05,857 --> 00:08:07,315 you are just delightful. 337 00:08:07,315 --> 00:08:09,398 No, Virginia, 338 00:08:07,315 --> 00:08:09,398 you're delightful, 339 00:08:09,398 --> 00:08:10,857 I am delighted. 340 00:08:10,857 --> 00:08:13,106 And he's just Ted. 341 00:08:13,106 --> 00:08:14,439 I'm really not 342 00:08:13,106 --> 00:08:14,439 planning these things. 343 00:08:13,106 --> 00:08:14,439 They just keep happening. 344 00:08:15,773 --> 00:08:17,106 Oops. 345 00:08:17,106 --> 00:08:18,315 I think I dropped 346 00:08:17,106 --> 00:08:18,315 an ice cube down here. 347 00:08:18,315 --> 00:08:21,106 It's so cold. 348 00:08:21,106 --> 00:08:23,564 All right, that's it, 349 00:08:21,106 --> 00:08:23,564 I'm out of here. 350 00:08:25,315 --> 00:08:27,148 In a minute. 351 00:08:27,148 --> 00:08:28,898 Anyone up for 352 00:08:27,148 --> 00:08:28,898 a drink at MacLaren's? 353 00:08:28,898 --> 00:08:30,439 I'm kind of tired. 354 00:08:28,898 --> 00:08:30,439 Me, too. 355 00:08:30,439 --> 00:08:32,023 Yeah, I'm sure 356 00:08:30,439 --> 00:08:32,023 my folks are gonna... 357 00:08:32,023 --> 00:08:34,981 I feel like I could 358 00:08:32,023 --> 00:08:34,981 knock back a few cervezas. 359 00:08:34,981 --> 00:08:36,815 "Cervezas"? 360 00:08:36,815 --> 00:08:38,357 Did he fall? 361 00:08:38,357 --> 00:08:40,106 I'd join you, too, 362 00:08:40,106 --> 00:08:42,357 but I want to get up early 363 00:08:40,106 --> 00:08:42,357 for mass tomorrow. 364 00:08:42,357 --> 00:08:45,439 Saint Peter's, 8:45 a.m., 365 00:08:42,357 --> 00:08:45,439 it's my favorite service. 366 00:08:45,439 --> 00:08:49,564 Wait a minute, 367 00:08:45,439 --> 00:08:49,564 you're able to cross 368 00:08:45,439 --> 00:08:49,564 the threshold of a church? 369 00:08:49,564 --> 00:08:51,231 I'll save you a seat. 370 00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:53,273 Barney, 371 00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:53,273 you are just terrific. 372 00:08:53,273 --> 00:08:54,690 Isn't he, Susan? 373 00:08:55,731 --> 00:08:57,190 Robin. 374 00:08:57,190 --> 00:08:59,273 Susan, 375 00:08:57,190 --> 00:08:59,273 her name is Virginia. 376 00:09:03,564 --> 00:09:05,648 Dude, I am sincerely ticked 377 00:09:03,564 --> 00:09:05,648 at your dad right now. 378 00:09:05,648 --> 00:09:07,273 Why? 379 00:09:07,273 --> 00:09:09,606 Last night, 380 00:09:07,273 --> 00:09:09,606 we go to MacLaren's 381 00:09:07,273 --> 00:09:09,606 for a drink, right? 382 00:09:09,606 --> 00:09:12,606 So, Barney darts back 383 00:09:09,606 --> 00:09:12,606 into the burning house, 384 00:09:12,606 --> 00:09:16,690 lifts up the refrigerator 385 00:09:12,606 --> 00:09:16,690 I'm pinned under 386 00:09:12,606 --> 00:09:16,690 and pulls me to safety. 387 00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:18,898 Wow, you're like a hero! 388 00:09:18,898 --> 00:09:21,023 Oh, I'm no hero, Wendy. 389 00:09:21,023 --> 00:09:23,064 You know who is a hero? 390 00:09:23,064 --> 00:09:24,690 My Dalmatian, Smokey. 391 00:09:25,939 --> 00:09:29,606 He didn't make it out. 392 00:09:31,481 --> 00:09:32,773 I'm sorry. 393 00:09:34,981 --> 00:09:36,981 You poor, brave man. 394 00:09:36,981 --> 00:09:39,148 Why don't you 395 00:09:36,981 --> 00:09:39,148 give the guy a hug? 396 00:09:39,148 --> 00:09:40,648 I'm... 397 00:09:45,397 --> 00:09:47,773 My dad was your wing man? 398 00:09:47,773 --> 00:09:49,148 This is really 399 00:09:47,773 --> 00:09:49,148 messing with my head. 400 00:09:49,148 --> 00:09:51,106 Barney, is my dad cool? 401 00:09:52,064 --> 00:09:54,397 I'm not done. 402 00:09:54,397 --> 00:09:56,481 So, your dad stays 403 00:09:54,397 --> 00:09:56,481 to finish his drink, 404 00:09:56,481 --> 00:09:59,397 but I take off because 405 00:09:56,481 --> 00:09:59,397 I have to be up early 406 00:09:56,481 --> 00:09:59,397 for mass with your mom. 407 00:09:59,397 --> 00:10:01,023 Sure. 408 00:10:01,023 --> 00:10:03,523 Anyway, I realize 409 00:10:01,023 --> 00:10:03,523 that I left my phone 410 00:10:01,023 --> 00:10:03,523 on the bar, 411 00:10:03,523 --> 00:10:04,690 so I come back... 412 00:10:15,731 --> 00:10:17,439 Oh, my God. 413 00:10:17,439 --> 00:10:18,939 Is that really... 414 00:10:19,857 --> 00:10:20,981 Oh, my God! 415 00:10:20,981 --> 00:10:23,023 I know. 416 00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:25,690 Can you believe your dad 417 00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:25,690 rack-jacked me like that? 418 00:10:35,773 --> 00:10:38,564 My dad made out with Wendy, 419 00:10:35,773 --> 00:10:38,564 the waitress? 420 00:10:38,564 --> 00:10:41,356 He cheated on my mom? 421 00:10:38,564 --> 00:10:41,356 No, that's impossible! 422 00:10:41,356 --> 00:10:44,273 Ted, 423 00:10:41,356 --> 00:10:44,273 it's a well-known statistic 424 00:10:41,356 --> 00:10:44,273 that 83% of people 425 00:10:44,273 --> 00:10:47,273 married longer than 426 00:10:44,273 --> 00:10:47,273 six months are seeing 427 00:10:44,273 --> 00:10:47,273 someone on the side. 428 00:10:47,273 --> 00:10:48,815 Do you know that 429 00:10:47,273 --> 00:10:48,815 when you make up a statistic, 430 00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:51,190 you always use 83%? 431 00:10:51,190 --> 00:10:52,648 You think I'm lying. 432 00:10:52,648 --> 00:10:54,898 Well, have you done any 433 00:10:52,648 --> 00:10:54,898 surveys on the subject? 434 00:10:54,898 --> 00:10:56,731 Because the good people at 435 00:10:56,731 --> 00:11:00,606 www.swingers. openmarriages 436 00:10:56,731 --> 00:11:00,606 natural/legalizepolygamy. org 437 00:10:56,731 --> 00:11:00,606 have, 438 00:11:00,606 --> 00:11:01,815 and they beg to differ. 439 00:11:01,815 --> 00:11:04,023 That's not a real Web site. 440 00:11:04,023 --> 00:11:07,648 Oh, and I suppose 441 00:11:04,023 --> 00:11:07,648 I didn't get a real t-shirt 442 00:11:04,023 --> 00:11:07,648 for running in their 10K. 443 00:11:11,690 --> 00:11:14,190 Hi, Dad. 444 00:11:11,690 --> 00:11:14,190 Hey, Ted. Barney. 445 00:11:14,190 --> 00:11:15,439 Enjoying your 446 00:11:14,190 --> 00:11:15,439 vacation so far? 447 00:11:15,439 --> 00:11:16,857 Oh, yeah. 448 00:11:16,857 --> 00:11:18,564 Listen, can I speak to you 449 00:11:16,857 --> 00:11:18,564 outside for a sec? 450 00:11:18,564 --> 00:11:19,857 Sure. 451 00:11:24,190 --> 00:11:25,606 So, you went out 452 00:11:24,190 --> 00:11:25,606 with Barney last night? 453 00:11:25,606 --> 00:11:27,314 Yeah. 454 00:11:27,314 --> 00:11:28,648 Did you had a good time? 455 00:11:28,648 --> 00:11:30,648 Oh, yeah, yeah. 456 00:11:28,648 --> 00:11:30,648 Sorry you couldn't join us. 457 00:11:32,731 --> 00:11:35,815 Yeah. So... 458 00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,106 What? 459 00:11:39,106 --> 00:11:40,314 Well... 460 00:11:41,564 --> 00:11:43,230 Well, what? 461 00:11:44,731 --> 00:11:47,857 You think Serrano's got 462 00:11:44,731 --> 00:11:47,857 a shot at the RBI title? 463 00:11:49,356 --> 00:11:51,439 I wanted to confront him, 464 00:11:49,356 --> 00:11:51,439 but I couldn't. 465 00:11:51,439 --> 00:11:54,356 I guess I got the 466 00:11:51,439 --> 00:11:54,356 let's-not-talk-about- 467 00:11:51,439 --> 00:11:54,356 anything-uncomfortable gene. 468 00:11:54,356 --> 00:11:57,106 Well, you didn't get 469 00:11:54,356 --> 00:11:57,106 your dad's close-the-deal 470 00:11:54,356 --> 00:11:57,106 gene, that's for sure. 471 00:11:57,106 --> 00:11:58,773 Smile! 472 00:11:58,773 --> 00:12:01,064 Great. 473 00:12:01,064 --> 00:12:03,523 I don't care 474 00:12:01,064 --> 00:12:03,523 how unpleasant it is. 475 00:12:01,064 --> 00:12:03,523 You have to talk to him. 476 00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:05,023 Not now. 477 00:12:05,023 --> 00:12:06,481 Okay, if you don't, 478 00:12:05,023 --> 00:12:06,481 I will. 479 00:12:06,481 --> 00:12:09,106 Robin... 480 00:12:09,106 --> 00:12:11,523 Okay, 481 00:12:09,106 --> 00:12:11,523 now I got to back up 482 00:12:09,106 --> 00:12:11,523 all the way to the beginning 483 00:12:11,523 --> 00:12:13,523 to tell you the me and Robin 484 00:12:11,523 --> 00:12:13,523 part of the story. 485 00:12:15,564 --> 00:12:18,190 We were expecting my parents 486 00:12:15,564 --> 00:12:18,190 at any minute. 487 00:12:18,190 --> 00:12:19,981 One last thing about my mom. 488 00:12:19,981 --> 00:12:21,606 She grills every single one 489 00:12:19,981 --> 00:12:21,606 of my girlfriends 490 00:12:21,606 --> 00:12:23,898 about when we're gonna get 491 00:12:21,606 --> 00:12:23,898 married and have kids. 492 00:12:23,898 --> 00:12:24,981 This is the first time 493 00:12:23,898 --> 00:12:24,981 she's meeting me. 494 00:12:24,981 --> 00:12:26,731 Doesn't matter. 495 00:12:26,731 --> 00:12:28,731 And you'll know it's coming 496 00:12:26,731 --> 00:12:28,731 when she mentions 497 00:12:26,731 --> 00:12:28,731 my cousin Stacy. 498 00:12:28,731 --> 00:12:30,523 Six kids in five years. 499 00:12:30,523 --> 00:12:34,106 The woman's basically 500 00:12:30,523 --> 00:12:34,106 a ride at a water park. 501 00:12:34,106 --> 00:12:36,648 I don't want to get 502 00:12:34,106 --> 00:12:36,648 married and have kids. 503 00:12:36,648 --> 00:12:38,356 What am I supposed to say? 504 00:12:38,356 --> 00:12:39,898 You know what? 505 00:12:39,898 --> 00:12:42,314 You're an adult with 506 00:12:39,898 --> 00:12:42,314 perfectly valid opinions. 507 00:12:42,314 --> 00:12:43,981 You shouldn't have 508 00:12:42,314 --> 00:12:43,981 to apologize for them. 509 00:12:43,981 --> 00:12:45,815 I'm gonna lie. 510 00:12:43,981 --> 00:12:45,815 I would. 511 00:12:47,230 --> 00:12:50,356 Thanks again for letting me 512 00:12:47,230 --> 00:12:50,356 have the U2 box set. 513 00:12:50,356 --> 00:12:52,564 I know how important 514 00:12:50,356 --> 00:12:52,564 it is to you. 515 00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:55,106 I talked to Aunt Caroline 516 00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:55,106 the other day. 517 00:12:55,106 --> 00:12:56,773 Stacy's pregnant again. 518 00:12:56,773 --> 00:12:59,356 Oh, good for her. 519 00:12:59,356 --> 00:13:01,356 So, dear... 520 00:12:59,356 --> 00:13:01,356 Oh, boy. 521 00:13:01,356 --> 00:13:03,230 tell us what it's like 522 00:13:01,356 --> 00:13:03,230 being a journalist. 523 00:13:03,230 --> 00:13:04,981 I'm just not ready. 524 00:13:04,981 --> 00:13:07,439 Okay. No pressure. 525 00:13:07,439 --> 00:13:10,564 Oh. I thought you... 526 00:13:10,564 --> 00:13:12,064 It's great. 527 00:13:12,064 --> 00:13:13,189 Good. 528 00:13:13,189 --> 00:13:14,523 Focus on your job now, 529 00:13:14,523 --> 00:13:16,523 because your career clock 530 00:13:14,523 --> 00:13:16,523 is ticking. 531 00:13:16,523 --> 00:13:18,147 There's time for 532 00:13:16,523 --> 00:13:18,147 marriage and kids 533 00:13:18,147 --> 00:13:20,606 and all that 534 00:13:18,147 --> 00:13:20,606 other stuff later. 535 00:13:21,981 --> 00:13:23,356 Oh, a piano! 536 00:13:25,648 --> 00:13:27,648 You lucked out with my mom 537 00:13:25,648 --> 00:13:27,648 last night, huh? 538 00:13:27,648 --> 00:13:28,606 What a relief, right? 539 00:13:28,606 --> 00:13:30,356 Oh, absolutely. 540 00:13:30,356 --> 00:13:32,439 What a relief it is to know 541 00:13:30,356 --> 00:13:32,439 I'm the one girlfriend 542 00:13:32,439 --> 00:13:34,857 your mom doesn't want you 543 00:13:32,439 --> 00:13:34,857 to have kids with. 544 00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:36,815 Hooray? 545 00:13:36,815 --> 00:13:39,815 I mean, did she really think 546 00:13:36,815 --> 00:13:39,815 that your college girlfriend, 547 00:13:36,815 --> 00:13:39,815 Cheryl, 548 00:13:39,815 --> 00:13:41,397 would pop out 549 00:13:39,815 --> 00:13:41,397 attractive children? 550 00:13:41,397 --> 00:13:43,731 'Cause I've seen pictures, 551 00:13:41,397 --> 00:13:43,731 and I'm sorry, 552 00:13:43,731 --> 00:13:46,356 that girl had a brow ridge 553 00:13:43,731 --> 00:13:46,356 like a caveman. 554 00:13:46,356 --> 00:13:49,023 Come on, 555 00:13:46,356 --> 00:13:49,023 she was just frowning 556 00:13:46,356 --> 00:13:49,023 under direct light. 557 00:13:49,023 --> 00:13:50,439 And besides, that's not even 558 00:13:49,023 --> 00:13:50,439 what I liked about her. 559 00:13:50,439 --> 00:13:52,189 It was her... 560 00:13:52,189 --> 00:13:54,064 It's not important. 561 00:13:55,439 --> 00:13:57,230 What happened to 562 00:13:55,439 --> 00:13:57,230 Marshall and Lily? 563 00:13:57,230 --> 00:13:58,898 They've been fighting lately. 564 00:13:58,898 --> 00:14:00,857 They're probably off somewhere 565 00:13:58,898 --> 00:14:00,857 going at it. 566 00:14:00,857 --> 00:14:02,147 More coffee? 567 00:14:02,147 --> 00:14:03,815 Oh, no, thank you. 568 00:14:05,147 --> 00:14:07,606 Isn't she sweet? 569 00:14:07,606 --> 00:14:11,147 Well, if she's so sweet, 570 00:14:07,606 --> 00:14:11,147 maybe she should have 571 00:14:07,606 --> 00:14:11,147 Ted's babies. 572 00:14:11,147 --> 00:14:12,815 Excuse me? 573 00:14:12,815 --> 00:14:13,898 Nothing. 574 00:14:19,773 --> 00:14:20,981 Just a minute. 575 00:14:20,981 --> 00:14:22,773 Maybe less. 576 00:14:22,773 --> 00:14:24,023 Robin, dear. 577 00:14:24,023 --> 00:14:26,105 Did I say something 578 00:14:24,023 --> 00:14:26,105 to upset you? 579 00:14:26,105 --> 00:14:28,981 Why don't you want me 580 00:14:26,105 --> 00:14:28,981 to have your grandkids? 581 00:14:28,981 --> 00:14:30,815 Do you want to 582 00:14:28,981 --> 00:14:30,815 have my grandkids? 583 00:14:30,815 --> 00:14:34,105 No! I mean, I don't know. 584 00:14:34,105 --> 00:14:37,314 I just... I want you 585 00:14:34,105 --> 00:14:37,314 to want me to want 586 00:14:34,105 --> 00:14:37,314 to have your grandkids. 587 00:14:37,314 --> 00:14:40,147 And you should. 588 00:14:37,314 --> 00:14:40,147 I'm a genetic gold mine. 589 00:14:40,147 --> 00:14:42,939 No family history of diabetes 590 00:14:40,147 --> 00:14:42,939 or heart disease. 591 00:14:42,939 --> 00:14:45,898 Everyone has nonporous teeth 592 00:14:42,939 --> 00:14:45,898 and perfect eyesight. 593 00:14:45,898 --> 00:14:48,063 I had one 594 00:14:45,898 --> 00:14:48,063 schizophrenic uncle, 595 00:14:48,063 --> 00:14:50,523 but even he had 596 00:14:48,063 --> 00:14:50,523 perfect vision, 597 00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:52,690 which was unfortunate 598 00:14:52,690 --> 00:14:55,105 for the people around 599 00:14:52,690 --> 00:14:55,105 the bell tower he was in, 600 00:14:55,105 --> 00:14:57,063 but still, he was 601 00:14:55,105 --> 00:14:57,063 a very fine man, and... 602 00:14:57,063 --> 00:15:00,272 Excuse me. Sorry. 603 00:14:57,063 --> 00:15:00,272 Didn't know that 604 00:14:57,063 --> 00:15:00,272 there was a line. 605 00:15:00,272 --> 00:15:01,981 Marshall, your zipper. 606 00:15:01,981 --> 00:15:03,397 Oh, right. 607 00:15:10,147 --> 00:15:13,147 Robin, it's not that 608 00:15:10,147 --> 00:15:13,147 I don't want grandkids. 609 00:15:13,147 --> 00:15:15,564 It's just I don't think anyone 610 00:15:13,147 --> 00:15:15,564 should make the mistake 611 00:15:15,564 --> 00:15:17,314 of getting 612 00:15:15,564 --> 00:15:17,314 married too young. 613 00:15:17,314 --> 00:15:18,564 Why do you say that? 614 00:15:18,564 --> 00:15:20,147 I mean, 615 00:15:18,564 --> 00:15:20,147 you got married pretty young. 616 00:15:20,147 --> 00:15:22,105 That wasn't a mistake. 617 00:15:23,272 --> 00:15:26,439 Was it? 618 00:15:26,439 --> 00:15:28,397 Okay, there's something 619 00:15:26,439 --> 00:15:28,397 you don't know. 620 00:15:28,397 --> 00:15:30,397 Smile. 621 00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:31,981 I wish your face 622 00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:31,981 would melt off. 623 00:15:31,981 --> 00:15:33,189 I wish your eyeballs 624 00:15:31,981 --> 00:15:33,189 would explode. 625 00:15:33,189 --> 00:15:35,022 I'm gonna kill him. 626 00:15:35,022 --> 00:15:36,439 I don't care 627 00:15:35,022 --> 00:15:36,439 how unpleasant it is. 628 00:15:35,022 --> 00:15:36,439 You have to talk to him. 629 00:15:36,439 --> 00:15:38,397 Not now. 630 00:15:36,439 --> 00:15:38,397 Okay, if you don't, 631 00:15:36,439 --> 00:15:38,397 I will. 632 00:15:38,397 --> 00:15:39,606 Robin... 633 00:15:41,189 --> 00:15:43,815 Oh, gosh, let me help you 634 00:15:41,189 --> 00:15:43,815 pick those up, sweetheart! 635 00:15:43,815 --> 00:15:45,981 "Sweetheart"? 636 00:15:43,815 --> 00:15:45,981 "Sweetheart"? 637 00:15:45,981 --> 00:15:47,439 The only sweetheart 638 00:15:45,981 --> 00:15:47,439 in your life 639 00:15:47,439 --> 00:15:48,939 should be the woman 640 00:15:47,439 --> 00:15:48,939 you married 30 years ago, 641 00:15:48,939 --> 00:15:50,230 not the waitress 642 00:15:48,939 --> 00:15:50,230 at the bar last night, 643 00:15:50,230 --> 00:15:52,272 and not this clumsy floozy! 644 00:15:52,272 --> 00:15:53,773 I'm sorry, 645 00:15:52,272 --> 00:15:53,773 you're not a floozy. 646 00:15:53,773 --> 00:15:56,606 I'm upset. 647 00:15:53,773 --> 00:15:56,606 I don't know 648 00:15:53,773 --> 00:15:56,606 what I'm saying. 649 00:15:56,606 --> 00:15:59,147 But stay away from my dad. 650 00:15:59,147 --> 00:16:01,063 Ted, what are you 651 00:15:59,147 --> 00:16:01,063 talking about? 652 00:16:02,022 --> 00:16:03,939 Dad? 653 00:16:03,939 --> 00:16:07,105 You want to tell Mom 654 00:16:03,939 --> 00:16:07,105 what happened at 655 00:16:03,939 --> 00:16:07,105 the bar last night? 656 00:16:09,980 --> 00:16:13,022 Okay. I hooked up 657 00:16:09,980 --> 00:16:13,022 with a waitress. 658 00:16:14,230 --> 00:16:15,439 Oh. 659 00:16:16,397 --> 00:16:17,815 "Oh"? 660 00:16:17,815 --> 00:16:19,314 I mean, oh! 661 00:16:22,063 --> 00:16:25,648 We're going to have 662 00:16:22,063 --> 00:16:25,648 a serious talk about this 663 00:16:22,063 --> 00:16:25,648 when we get home, Al. 664 00:16:26,773 --> 00:16:28,606 "Serious talk"? 665 00:16:26,773 --> 00:16:28,606 Mom, what... 666 00:16:28,606 --> 00:16:31,980 He was kissing 667 00:16:28,606 --> 00:16:31,980 another woman. 668 00:16:28,606 --> 00:16:31,980 Don't you care? 669 00:16:31,980 --> 00:16:33,314 Mrs. Mosby? 670 00:16:36,356 --> 00:16:39,022 Ted, we weren't quite sure 671 00:16:36,356 --> 00:16:39,022 how to tell you this... 672 00:16:39,022 --> 00:16:41,397 Your mother and I 673 00:16:39,022 --> 00:16:41,397 are divorced. 674 00:16:47,022 --> 00:16:50,063 What do you mean 675 00:16:47,022 --> 00:16:50,063 you're divorced? 676 00:16:47,022 --> 00:16:50,063 Since when? 677 00:16:50,063 --> 00:16:52,230 Oh, gosh, it's been 678 00:16:50,063 --> 00:16:52,230 about nine months now. 679 00:16:52,230 --> 00:16:53,272 Closer to 10, I think. 680 00:16:53,272 --> 00:16:55,938 Time flies. 681 00:16:55,938 --> 00:16:58,815 So, 10 months ago, 682 00:16:55,938 --> 00:16:58,815 you just up and 683 00:16:55,938 --> 00:16:58,815 decided to get divorced 684 00:16:58,815 --> 00:17:00,063 without telling me? 685 00:17:00,063 --> 00:17:01,606 No, it wasn't 686 00:17:00,063 --> 00:17:01,606 a snap decision. 687 00:17:01,606 --> 00:17:04,063 We'd been separated 688 00:17:01,606 --> 00:17:04,063 almost two years. 689 00:17:04,063 --> 00:17:06,063 How could you 690 00:17:04,063 --> 00:17:06,063 not tell me this? 691 00:17:06,063 --> 00:17:09,397 We meant to, 692 00:17:06,063 --> 00:17:09,397 it just never seemed 693 00:17:06,063 --> 00:17:09,397 like the right time. 694 00:17:09,397 --> 00:17:11,690 So, last Christmas... 695 00:17:11,690 --> 00:17:13,731 We talked about 696 00:17:11,690 --> 00:17:13,731 telling you kids then, 697 00:17:13,731 --> 00:17:15,523 but it didn't seem 698 00:17:13,731 --> 00:17:15,523 very Christmassy. 699 00:17:16,648 --> 00:17:18,690 I got you a tandem bike. 700 00:17:18,690 --> 00:17:21,356 Oh, it didn't go to waste. 701 00:17:18,690 --> 00:17:21,356 Your mother and Frank 702 00:17:18,690 --> 00:17:21,356 ride it all the time. 703 00:17:21,356 --> 00:17:22,897 Who the hell is Frank? 704 00:17:22,897 --> 00:17:26,648 Oh, great guy. 705 00:17:22,897 --> 00:17:26,648 I actually set them up. 706 00:17:26,648 --> 00:17:29,397 You remember Dr. Muchnik. 707 00:17:26,648 --> 00:17:29,397 He did your braces. 708 00:17:32,815 --> 00:17:35,063 Okay, my head's 709 00:17:32,815 --> 00:17:35,063 about to explode, 710 00:17:35,063 --> 00:17:37,189 and I don't want to get it 711 00:17:35,063 --> 00:17:37,189 all over everyone's waffles, 712 00:17:37,189 --> 00:17:38,230 so I am leaving. 713 00:17:38,230 --> 00:17:39,857 Teddy bear... 714 00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:46,897 You know, he mentioned 715 00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:46,897 he was divorced last night. 716 00:17:46,897 --> 00:17:48,690 I totally spaced on that. 717 00:17:50,481 --> 00:17:52,857 No line 718 00:17:50,481 --> 00:17:52,857 at the omelet station. 719 00:17:58,815 --> 00:18:01,022 Lily, 720 00:18:01,022 --> 00:18:02,606 I'm sorry that I said 721 00:18:01,022 --> 00:18:02,606 all those things. 722 00:18:03,731 --> 00:18:04,938 Me, too. 723 00:18:06,938 --> 00:18:09,606 I just find it 724 00:18:06,938 --> 00:18:09,606 really confusing to be 725 00:18:06,938 --> 00:18:09,606 around you right now. 726 00:18:09,606 --> 00:18:11,230 It's the same for me. 727 00:18:12,439 --> 00:18:14,314 I think we're probably 728 00:18:12,439 --> 00:18:14,314 both better off 729 00:18:14,314 --> 00:18:17,439 trying to keep some 730 00:18:14,314 --> 00:18:17,439 distance for a while. 731 00:18:17,439 --> 00:18:19,397 Yeah, I think you're right. 732 00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:28,230 Are you wearing 733 00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:28,230 a push-up bra? 734 00:18:28,230 --> 00:18:29,606 Did you Mystic Tan 735 00:18:28,230 --> 00:18:29,606 your calves? 736 00:18:29,606 --> 00:18:31,564 I withdraw the question. 737 00:18:33,606 --> 00:18:36,356 We're sorry we didn't say 738 00:18:33,606 --> 00:18:36,356 anything about the divorce. 739 00:18:36,356 --> 00:18:38,731 It was wrong 740 00:18:36,356 --> 00:18:38,731 not to tell you. 741 00:18:38,731 --> 00:18:40,189 Thank you. 742 00:18:40,189 --> 00:18:41,564 But listen, 743 00:18:40,189 --> 00:18:41,564 don't tell your sister. 744 00:18:41,564 --> 00:18:44,189 It would just upset her. 745 00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:45,731 No, this is ridiculous! 746 00:18:45,731 --> 00:18:47,356 We have to start 747 00:18:45,731 --> 00:18:47,356 talking about stuff, 748 00:18:47,356 --> 00:18:49,439 and not just baseball. 749 00:18:49,439 --> 00:18:51,314 Indians won today 750 00:18:49,439 --> 00:18:51,314 on a walk-off double. 751 00:18:51,314 --> 00:18:53,564 Against the Red Sox? 752 00:18:51,314 --> 00:18:53,564 That's a big win. 753 00:18:53,564 --> 00:18:56,397 No, no, no! 754 00:18:53,564 --> 00:18:56,397 We're not gonna 755 00:18:53,564 --> 00:18:56,397 blow past this. 756 00:18:56,397 --> 00:18:58,606 I mean, I don't even 757 00:18:56,397 --> 00:18:58,606 know you people. 758 00:18:58,606 --> 00:19:00,648 I don't even know 759 00:18:58,606 --> 00:19:00,648 how you met. 760 00:19:00,648 --> 00:19:03,773 I never told you 761 00:19:00,648 --> 00:19:03,773 how I met your mother? 762 00:19:00,648 --> 00:19:03,773 No. 763 00:19:03,773 --> 00:19:06,439 Oh, great story. 764 00:19:03,773 --> 00:19:06,439 At a bar. 765 00:19:08,606 --> 00:19:10,439 That's it? 766 00:19:10,439 --> 00:19:13,105 That's what passes 767 00:19:10,439 --> 00:19:13,105 for communication 768 00:19:10,439 --> 00:19:13,105 in our family? 769 00:19:13,105 --> 00:19:16,105 Man, when I have kids, 770 00:19:13,105 --> 00:19:16,105 and I tell them how 771 00:19:13,105 --> 00:19:16,105 I met their mother, 772 00:19:16,105 --> 00:19:18,980 I'm gonna tell 773 00:19:16,105 --> 00:19:18,980 them everything, 774 00:19:16,105 --> 00:19:18,980 the whole damn story. 775 00:19:18,980 --> 00:19:21,230 I think it was 776 00:19:18,980 --> 00:19:21,230 an Irish bar. 777 00:19:22,980 --> 00:19:25,022 I just... I don't... 778 00:19:22,980 --> 00:19:25,022 I don't understand. 779 00:19:25,022 --> 00:19:26,856 You seemed so happy. 780 00:19:26,856 --> 00:19:29,147 When I was growing up, 781 00:19:26,856 --> 00:19:29,147 you seemed so... 782 00:19:29,147 --> 00:19:31,189 What happened? 783 00:19:31,189 --> 00:19:33,397 We just realized 784 00:19:31,189 --> 00:19:33,397 we're very different people. 785 00:19:33,397 --> 00:19:35,814 Your father's kind of 786 00:19:33,397 --> 00:19:35,814 a head-in-the-clouds 787 00:19:33,397 --> 00:19:35,814 romantic, 788 00:19:35,814 --> 00:19:38,356 and I'm much more 789 00:19:35,814 --> 00:19:38,356 down-to-earth. 790 00:19:38,356 --> 00:19:40,356 So? Robin and I 791 00:19:38,356 --> 00:19:40,356 are like that. 792 00:19:40,356 --> 00:19:42,272 That doesn't mean anything. 793 00:19:42,272 --> 00:19:47,147 I wanted kids, 794 00:19:42,272 --> 00:19:47,147 and your mother... also 795 00:19:42,272 --> 00:19:47,147 wanted kids. 796 00:19:48,897 --> 00:19:50,980 Robin and I have 797 00:19:48,897 --> 00:19:50,980 different views on families. 798 00:19:50,980 --> 00:19:52,439 We're not about to 799 00:19:50,980 --> 00:19:52,439 break up because of it. 800 00:19:52,439 --> 00:19:55,356 On some level, 801 00:19:52,439 --> 00:19:55,356 I always knew. 802 00:19:55,356 --> 00:19:57,980 I didn't even want 803 00:19:55,356 --> 00:19:57,980 to go out with him 804 00:19:55,356 --> 00:19:57,980 in the beginning, 805 00:19:57,980 --> 00:20:01,272 but he spent 806 00:19:57,980 --> 00:20:01,272 months badgering me, 807 00:19:57,980 --> 00:20:01,272 until I finally gave in. 808 00:20:04,022 --> 00:20:06,980 Well, when you don't 809 00:20:04,022 --> 00:20:06,980 connect on that many 810 00:20:04,022 --> 00:20:06,980 fundamental levels, 811 00:20:06,980 --> 00:20:08,439 it's only a matter of time 812 00:20:06,980 --> 00:20:08,439 before you realize 813 00:20:08,439 --> 00:20:11,063 you're not meant 814 00:20:08,439 --> 00:20:11,063 to be together. 815 00:20:12,356 --> 00:20:13,980 But we love Robin! 816 00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:15,356 MR. 817 00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:15,356 Absolutely. 818 00:20:15,356 --> 00:20:17,564 Meeting you was 819 00:20:15,356 --> 00:20:17,564 the highlight of my trip. 820 00:20:17,564 --> 00:20:19,397 Well, second highlight. 821 00:20:20,980 --> 00:20:23,230 We'll see you inside. 822 00:20:20,980 --> 00:20:23,230 Sorry. 823 00:20:28,856 --> 00:20:30,314 Wow. 824 00:20:30,314 --> 00:20:31,523 I know. 825 00:20:32,814 --> 00:20:34,648 They love me! 826 00:20:42,439 --> 00:20:45,356 We are definitely going to try 827 00:20:42,439 --> 00:20:45,356 and communicate more. 828 00:20:45,356 --> 00:20:47,356 From now on, 829 00:20:45,356 --> 00:20:47,356 full disclosure. 830 00:20:47,356 --> 00:20:51,648 Good. Good, I think it'll be 831 00:20:47,356 --> 00:20:51,648 really good for the family. 832 00:20:51,648 --> 00:20:53,063 By the way, 833 00:20:51,648 --> 00:20:53,063 how's Grandma? 834 00:20:53,063 --> 00:20:55,439 She hasn't returned 835 00:20:53,063 --> 00:20:55,439 my last couple of calls. 836 00:21:01,022 --> 00:21:03,022 I'm gonna get some juice. 837 00:21:05,189 --> 00:21:06,356 No. 838 00:21:08,814 --> 00:21:09,938 No. 839 00:21:11,772 --> 00:21:14,980 You missed a great game 840 00:21:11,772 --> 00:21:14,980 last night. Real squeaker.