1 00:00:01,687 --> 00:00:03,908 Some kids dream of being astronauts. 2 00:00:03,918 --> 00:00:06,097 Some kids dream of playing baseball. 3 00:00:06,107 --> 00:00:08,638 When I was a kid, I had only one dream. 4 00:00:08,693 --> 00:00:10,227 To build a skyscraper. 5 00:00:10,377 --> 00:00:12,203 That's stupid. 6 00:00:13,670 --> 00:00:15,745 There were some obstacles along the way. 7 00:00:15,755 --> 00:00:18,144 But eventually my dream came true. 8 00:00:18,380 --> 00:00:20,765 I became an architect. 9 00:00:20,775 --> 00:00:22,143 Morning, everyone! 10 00:00:22,214 --> 00:00:27,019 So, I had an idea for the atrium. 11 00:00:27,032 --> 00:00:28,440 Ready? 12 00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:30,502 Columns. 13 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:32,872 That's stupid. 14 00:00:51,758 --> 00:00:54,653 I... I can't believe you knocked over my model. 15 00:00:54,667 --> 00:00:58,712 Well, it's just... it's not exactly new, is it— columns? 16 00:00:58,727 --> 00:01:01,953 I mean, what's your next groundbreaking idea— ceilings? 17 00:01:02,159 --> 00:01:03,534 Floors? 18 00:01:03,547 --> 00:01:05,332 Windows? 19 00:01:05,379 --> 00:01:08,102 I know what you're thinking: Who's this jerk? 20 00:01:08,117 --> 00:01:10,653 Well, this jerk was Hammond Druthers, 21 00:01:10,667 --> 00:01:12,985 a legend in the architecture community. 22 00:01:12,997 --> 00:01:14,844 Very big in the '80s. 23 00:01:15,479 --> 00:01:18,584 He was also far and away the worst boss I ever had. 24 00:01:18,848 --> 00:01:22,115 Then I designed the Spokane National Bank Building. 25 00:01:22,128 --> 00:01:24,582 And suddenly... I was his boss. 26 00:01:24,628 --> 00:01:27,082 - And he didn't like it. - Stairs? 27 00:01:27,299 --> 00:01:30,385 And to be honest, I wasn't sure I liked it either. 28 00:01:30,399 --> 00:01:33,373 See, before, when I was just another employee, 29 00:01:33,387 --> 00:01:35,913 I was happy, carefree. 30 00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:38,754 The guy who hung out in the break room making fun of the boss. 31 00:01:38,769 --> 00:01:39,823 Did you see what he was wearing today? 32 00:01:39,857 --> 00:01:42,612 It was like his pants were being held up by his nipples. 33 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:48,253 Yeah, and that shirt with the flowers, I get hay fever just looking at it. 34 00:01:50,660 --> 00:01:52,803 But suddenly I was a different guy. 35 00:01:54,079 --> 00:01:55,414 Hey, guys. 36 00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:57,354 What's so funny? 37 00:01:57,458 --> 00:01:58,553 Nothing. 38 00:01:58,700 --> 00:02:01,532 Um... nice shirt. 39 00:02:01,957 --> 00:02:03,242 Thanks. 40 00:02:03,258 --> 00:02:04,952 The hours were insane. 41 00:02:04,970 --> 00:02:08,132 I was always working even when I wasn't at work. 42 00:02:08,148 --> 00:02:11,535 Oh, Robin... I just had a great idea. 43 00:02:11,549 --> 00:02:15,275 Oh, do whatever you want to me just don't wake me up. 44 00:02:18,719 --> 00:02:20,914 Before, I used to be this guy. 45 00:02:20,928 --> 00:02:24,235 Dude, of course you should take the day off for the Foo Fighters concert. 46 00:02:24,250 --> 00:02:25,484 Just say you're sick. 47 00:02:25,497 --> 00:02:26,612 But now... 48 00:02:26,657 --> 00:02:27,962 I was this guy. 49 00:02:27,980 --> 00:02:29,355 Sick, huh? 50 00:02:30,848 --> 00:02:32,673 Unbutton your shirt. 51 00:02:34,170 --> 00:02:37,215 Hmm... "Foo Fighters." 52 00:02:38,329 --> 00:02:40,173 Get back to work. 53 00:02:40,589 --> 00:02:43,575 But still, the worst part was Druthers. 54 00:02:43,588 --> 00:02:45,794 - Well, I was thinking... - Ceilings? Oops. 55 00:02:45,809 --> 00:02:50,542 Said that already. Then again, you seem to like rehashing old ideas. 56 00:02:50,559 --> 00:02:53,243 I'm kidding, of course. 57 00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:55,202 Another hole in one, boss. 58 00:02:56,350 --> 00:02:58,773 Oh, wow, he must be really good-looking. 59 00:02:58,787 --> 00:02:59,862 Why would you say that? 60 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:02,834 Well, 'cause only good-looking people can get away with saying things like that. 61 00:03:02,868 --> 00:03:04,285 I have found that to be true. 62 00:03:04,298 --> 00:03:06,252 It's a blessing and a curse really. 63 00:03:06,808 --> 00:03:09,144 Ted, you can't let him treat you like that. 64 00:03:09,158 --> 00:03:11,404 Yeah, you gotta ask yourself, who's the boss? 65 00:03:11,419 --> 00:03:13,424 - Tony. - Angela. - Mona. 66 00:03:13,617 --> 00:03:14,685 Mona? 67 00:03:14,699 --> 00:03:17,202 Watch it more closely. Rock your world. 68 00:03:17,737 --> 00:03:19,234 So, what are you gonna do? 69 00:03:19,248 --> 00:03:22,554 Well... it's awkward, I mean, the guy used to be my boss. 70 00:03:22,567 --> 00:03:24,714 So, I went to talk to the managing partner. 71 00:03:24,729 --> 00:03:26,072 Fire him. 72 00:03:26,477 --> 00:03:29,545 Well, sir, I was thinking he could just be put on a different project. 73 00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:30,853 Fire him! 74 00:03:30,870 --> 00:03:34,535 He's an arrogant, washed-up, pain in the ass. 75 00:03:34,549 --> 00:03:37,364 In fact, fire everyone on that project. 76 00:03:37,379 --> 00:03:40,614 Druthers, Mosby, the whole lot of them. 77 00:03:40,629 --> 00:03:44,012 Mosby, sir? I, I... I hear Mosby's doing some great work. 78 00:03:44,027 --> 00:03:48,754 Fine, Mosby can stay. But tell him he's on thin ice. 79 00:03:50,659 --> 00:03:52,124 Come here. 80 00:03:54,090 --> 00:03:56,645 I like you, Crosby. 81 00:03:58,177 --> 00:03:59,625 You mind if I charge my phone? 82 00:03:59,637 --> 00:04:00,943 Knock yourself out. 83 00:04:01,197 --> 00:04:04,544 Well, Ted, if you do fire Druthers, the key is timing. 84 00:04:04,557 --> 00:04:06,963 Remember when I had to fire my makeup artist? 85 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:10,893 Vicki, um... I'm so sorry about this, 86 00:04:10,908 --> 00:04:14,094 but there's been some budget cuts and, um, 87 00:04:14,109 --> 00:04:15,935 we have to let you go. 88 00:04:16,068 --> 00:04:18,155 I mean, after tonight. 89 00:04:18,180 --> 00:04:20,794 I still need my makeup for the broadcast. 90 00:04:21,408 --> 00:04:22,763 So... 91 00:04:24,510 --> 00:04:28,444 Our thoughts and prayers go out to the families of the victims. 92 00:04:28,490 --> 00:04:29,814 You know what? I'm gonna do it. 93 00:04:29,830 --> 00:04:31,772 I'm gonna fire Druthers tomorrow. 94 00:04:34,757 --> 00:04:37,552 - Oh, my God! - What? 95 00:04:37,567 --> 00:04:39,813 - Do you know about this? - No. 96 00:04:39,828 --> 00:04:40,904 What is that? 97 00:04:40,917 --> 00:04:43,495 Only the greatest thing ever. 98 00:04:43,509 --> 00:04:46,203 Wait, wait, wait— that's not enough buildup. 99 00:04:46,509 --> 00:04:49,095 If they were to cure cancer tomorrow, 100 00:04:49,108 --> 00:04:51,764 this would still be the greatest thing to happen all week. 101 00:04:51,777 --> 00:04:56,095 Okay. Now you're ready for naked Marshall. 102 00:04:56,718 --> 00:04:58,384 Oh, my God. 103 00:04:58,787 --> 00:05:01,013 This is awesome times awesome. 104 00:05:01,027 --> 00:05:02,595 It's awesome squared. 105 00:05:02,610 --> 00:05:05,125 I know, right? Behind the piano this whole time. 106 00:05:05,137 --> 00:05:07,504 Wait. If Marshall went to all this trouble to hide it, 107 00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:09,585 he clearly doesn't want us to find it. 108 00:05:09,598 --> 00:05:11,135 Oh, come on, Robin. 109 00:05:11,150 --> 00:05:14,983 No, I'm saying that he must be really embarrassed by this. 110 00:05:15,139 --> 00:05:17,744 We are gonna have so much fun. 111 00:05:17,757 --> 00:05:19,663 I know! We're gonna have so much fun! 112 00:05:19,677 --> 00:05:22,085 Oh, sorry I'm late; lunch ran a little long. 113 00:05:22,100 --> 00:05:23,512 You wanted to see me, Mosby? 114 00:05:23,528 --> 00:05:25,944 Uh, yeah, like four hours ago. 115 00:05:26,340 --> 00:05:29,512 Well, excuse me, for spending the last four hours 116 00:05:29,529 --> 00:05:32,114 drawing designs for your building. 117 00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:34,732 This is a cocktail napkin. 118 00:05:35,109 --> 00:05:37,173 Covered in profanity. 119 00:05:38,367 --> 00:05:40,435 Look, Hammond, um, 120 00:05:40,449 --> 00:05:43,212 there's no easy way to say this, so... 121 00:05:43,769 --> 00:05:46,974 why don't we just, um, step into your office. 122 00:06:03,778 --> 00:06:06,092 So, you didn't fire him? 123 00:06:06,457 --> 00:06:09,242 I can't fire a guy on his birthday. Everyone would hate me. 124 00:06:09,257 --> 00:06:12,923 Besides, they put a party hat on me. My authority was compromised. 125 00:06:14,039 --> 00:06:16,955 Oh, hey, Marshall. Have a seat. 126 00:06:17,368 --> 00:06:20,394 I know how much you love stools. 127 00:06:20,770 --> 00:06:23,714 Thanks. Yeah, stools are better for your posture. 128 00:06:23,978 --> 00:06:28,354 And, uh... I... got you a rose. 129 00:06:28,439 --> 00:06:30,465 Thank you. That's so sweet. 130 00:06:30,479 --> 00:06:33,402 You guys are being... so sweet. 131 00:06:33,420 --> 00:06:36,744 Hey, guys. Guess what I got. A new dart. 132 00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:38,483 Oh, wow, a new dart. 133 00:06:38,499 --> 00:06:40,265 Hey, that new dart is great. 134 00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:42,584 I did not know you were such a fan of new dart, Barney. 135 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:45,302 Oh, yes, Robin, I just love new dart. 136 00:06:45,318 --> 00:06:47,135 Nude art. 137 00:06:47,239 --> 00:06:49,102 - Nude art. - Nude art. 138 00:06:49,155 --> 00:06:52,363 Okay, all right, so what, you guys found the painting, huh? 139 00:06:52,779 --> 00:06:54,785 I knew this day would come. 140 00:06:54,793 --> 00:06:56,025 How did you know that? 141 00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:58,025 Because I didn't hide it very well. 142 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,893 So the story on the painting is that, back in college, 143 00:07:00,908 --> 00:07:03,814 Lily wanted to do a nude study for her art class. 144 00:07:03,827 --> 00:07:05,693 Marshall wasn't so into the idea. 145 00:07:05,710 --> 00:07:07,744 Well, I just... don't think that some dude 146 00:07:07,758 --> 00:07:10,424 should drop trou just to pose for you. 147 00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:14,842 It's for class, and it's just that weird kid Hunter from my freshman hall. 148 00:07:14,860 --> 00:07:16,635 The frisbee dude with the soul patch? 149 00:07:16,650 --> 00:07:18,325 He's like the hottest guy in school! 150 00:07:18,340 --> 00:07:19,674 No, he's actually a little husky... 151 00:07:19,710 --> 00:07:21,312 Oh, he's just huggable! 152 00:07:21,328 --> 00:07:22,925 And complicated... 153 00:07:22,937 --> 00:07:24,795 and a little bit of a jerk. 154 00:07:24,810 --> 00:07:27,473 Just enough so you think maybe you can change him. 155 00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:29,604 Okay, just forget it. 156 00:07:32,140 --> 00:07:33,673 Call me old-fashioned, 157 00:07:33,689 --> 00:07:37,462 I just think that I'm the only guy you should see naked. 158 00:07:37,900 --> 00:07:40,114 Well, then you'll have to do it. 159 00:07:40,130 --> 00:07:43,373 Are you kidding me? What if somebody sees it? 160 00:07:43,399 --> 00:07:45,732 We're not in high school anymore. 161 00:07:45,748 --> 00:07:49,413 People don't make fun of you for posing nude for a painting. 162 00:07:49,429 --> 00:07:51,185 We're adults now. 163 00:07:51,197 --> 00:07:53,205 We totally saw your butt. 164 00:07:57,259 --> 00:07:59,372 This painting has caused too much grief already. 165 00:07:59,390 --> 00:08:01,085 I'm destroying it right now. 166 00:08:01,938 --> 00:08:04,174 Oh, no, what's the matter, Marshall? 167 00:08:04,189 --> 00:08:05,305 Where is it? 168 00:08:05,487 --> 00:08:08,763 I'll tell you where it is if you'll answer these riddles three. 169 00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,545 You hung it up in the bar, didn't you? 170 00:08:10,558 --> 00:08:12,275 Yo, why you gotta ruin my riddles? 171 00:08:13,950 --> 00:08:15,375 Field trip! 172 00:08:19,319 --> 00:08:23,192 Oh, no. Someone put your painting up behind the bar. 173 00:08:23,210 --> 00:08:24,373 Classic! 174 00:08:24,387 --> 00:08:26,333 What a memorable prank. 175 00:08:27,987 --> 00:08:29,942 Hey, Marshall. What'll you have? 176 00:08:29,959 --> 00:08:32,932 What'll I have? Um, I don't know, maybe a beer 177 00:08:32,949 --> 00:08:35,982 and that nude painting of me hanging behind the bar! 178 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,885 Ooh, I'm sorry, that painting's property of the bar. 179 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:39,343 I know that Barney gave you that painting. 180 00:08:39,379 --> 00:08:40,683 I don't know what you're talking about. 181 00:08:40,719 --> 00:08:42,143 Whatever he's paying you, I'll pay you double. 182 00:08:42,179 --> 00:08:43,143 I doubt it. 183 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:44,993 Whatever he's paying you, I'll give you that plus ten bucks. 184 00:08:45,027 --> 00:08:45,912 I doubt it. 185 00:08:45,928 --> 00:08:48,544 All right, you know what, Carl, you just lost yourself a regular customer. 186 00:08:48,580 --> 00:08:50,103 I doubt it. 187 00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:56,532 This painting is the worst thing that's ever happened to me. 188 00:08:59,179 --> 00:09:01,894 Okay, where should we put it up next? In his law school? 189 00:09:01,909 --> 00:09:03,563 Ooh on the side of a bus. Oh, oh! 190 00:09:03,580 --> 00:09:05,112 How much do billboards cost? 191 00:09:05,127 --> 00:09:07,645 Easy, Scherbatsky. Finesse. 192 00:09:07,657 --> 00:09:10,004 I've got a five-year rollout plan. 193 00:09:10,017 --> 00:09:12,613 I'll have you know that painting's got commitments all over the city. 194 00:09:12,647 --> 00:09:14,254 Then, after New York... 195 00:09:21,850 --> 00:09:23,792 One of my worst fears has come true— 196 00:09:23,809 --> 00:09:26,033 I just saw Marshall grabbing himself naked. 197 00:09:26,959 --> 00:09:28,413 Well, I gotta go. 198 00:09:28,427 --> 00:09:30,402 Believe it or not, I have to go back to the office. 199 00:09:30,438 --> 00:09:31,862 Oh, I'll go out with you. 200 00:09:31,877 --> 00:09:32,972 Bye, guys. 201 00:09:33,977 --> 00:09:37,443 You know, I wish everyone didn't have to make fun of that painting. 202 00:09:37,460 --> 00:09:40,002 Eh, we're not making fun of the painting, we're just making fun of Marshall. 203 00:09:40,037 --> 00:09:42,143 The painting's actually really great. 204 00:09:42,158 --> 00:09:44,354 - Are you serious? - Yeah. 205 00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:46,312 Well, thank you. 206 00:09:46,329 --> 00:09:49,722 You know, seeing it again makes me miss painting nudes. 207 00:09:52,479 --> 00:09:53,725 What? 208 00:09:53,959 --> 00:09:55,622 Paint me. 209 00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:57,514 What? 210 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:00,424 Paint me. 211 00:10:06,258 --> 00:10:07,532 Who's that? 212 00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:09,153 Who's out there? 213 00:10:09,408 --> 00:10:11,133 Hammond, is that you? 214 00:10:11,147 --> 00:10:12,474 Mosby? 215 00:10:13,417 --> 00:10:15,955 Druthers and I were alone in the office. 216 00:10:15,969 --> 00:10:17,315 If I was gonna fire him, 217 00:10:17,330 --> 00:10:19,313 this would be the best chance I'd ever have. 218 00:10:19,330 --> 00:10:21,222 Uh, look, just a second, Ted. 219 00:10:21,238 --> 00:10:23,332 Uh, no, I, I really need to talk to you. 220 00:10:23,349 --> 00:10:25,422 Look, there's no easy way to say... 221 00:10:25,437 --> 00:10:26,895 What, what are you doing? 222 00:10:27,688 --> 00:10:29,232 What are you doing? 223 00:10:29,249 --> 00:10:32,073 I'm standing here wearing pants. 224 00:10:32,809 --> 00:10:35,333 Are you sleeping here? What's going on? 225 00:10:35,347 --> 00:10:37,003 Okay, fine, yes. 226 00:10:37,018 --> 00:10:38,345 Not that it's any of your business 227 00:10:38,378 --> 00:10:41,185 but my wife had a little spat a few weeks ago, 228 00:10:41,199 --> 00:10:44,133 and I've been sleeping here until she cools off. 229 00:10:44,147 --> 00:10:46,983 Okay, well, uh, you're right— that is none of my business. 230 00:10:46,998 --> 00:10:49,224 Uh, look, there's no easy way to say this— I... 231 00:10:49,238 --> 00:10:50,612 Who am I kidding? 232 00:10:50,830 --> 00:10:53,774 She's never gonna take me back. 233 00:10:59,507 --> 00:11:00,885 It's okay. 234 00:11:06,668 --> 00:11:08,692 What did you want to say to me? 235 00:11:11,287 --> 00:11:12,992 Happy birthday, buddy. 236 00:11:21,980 --> 00:11:24,456 So, you've been living at the office? 237 00:11:24,588 --> 00:11:25,884 Yes. 238 00:11:26,179 --> 00:11:29,013 I'm an architect without a home. 239 00:11:29,331 --> 00:11:31,635 You see the tragic irony in that? 240 00:11:31,651 --> 00:11:33,335 - Yeah, I do. - 'Cause I design homes. 241 00:11:33,351 --> 00:11:34,583 - I see it. - But I don't have a home. 242 00:11:34,619 --> 00:11:35,975 Not lost on me at all. 243 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:39,626 But I don't understand— why don't you just go to a hotel? 244 00:11:39,638 --> 00:11:42,113 You could be sleeping on a mattress instead of... 245 00:11:42,129 --> 00:11:45,353 what appears to be torn-up drawings of my building. 246 00:11:45,368 --> 00:11:47,455 Why would I go to a hotel, when any second, 247 00:11:47,470 --> 00:11:49,905 she's going to call and tell me to come home. 248 00:11:51,658 --> 00:11:54,155 She's a very special lady, Ted. 249 00:11:54,248 --> 00:11:58,494 She's quite... mannish. 250 00:11:58,590 --> 00:12:00,995 She gives me what I need. 251 00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:02,775 Do you understand that? 252 00:12:03,231 --> 00:12:05,563 Uh, no, I don't. 253 00:12:05,969 --> 00:12:08,215 If you were lost in the wilderness, 254 00:12:08,421 --> 00:12:10,593 she can provide for me. 255 00:12:11,728 --> 00:12:13,674 Well, that's the dream. 256 00:12:15,341 --> 00:12:17,624 I'm glad you came here tonight, Ted. 257 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:18,616 Me too, Hammond. 258 00:12:18,630 --> 00:12:19,673 - Call me Ham. - No, thanks. 259 00:12:19,710 --> 00:12:22,195 - Hammy D? - No, I think just Hammond. 260 00:12:22,309 --> 00:12:25,795 So, I'm guessing you didn't fire him. 261 00:12:28,070 --> 00:12:30,414 I was this close. 262 00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:33,464 Meanwhile, Lily had been up all night 263 00:12:33,478 --> 00:12:35,485 in the grips of a dilemma. 264 00:12:45,551 --> 00:12:48,065 - Oh honey, you're awake? - I'm awake. 265 00:12:48,939 --> 00:12:51,025 - Is everything okay? - Yeah. 266 00:12:51,041 --> 00:12:53,955 I've kind of been wrestling with something. 267 00:12:53,971 --> 00:12:57,144 What if I told you I had a way to pay for our honeymoon? 268 00:12:57,161 --> 00:12:58,993 Baby, our honeymoon's already paid for. 269 00:12:59,011 --> 00:13:00,844 We're going to Howe Caverns. 270 00:13:00,911 --> 00:13:06,114 Well yeah, but— but what if we didn't want to spend our honeymoon in a cave? 271 00:13:06,549 --> 00:13:09,815 It's not just a cave, it's a whole labyrinth of caves. 272 00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:11,735 It's an underground adventure. 273 00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:14,863 There's a cave that's so dark that you don't even know you're in there. 274 00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:17,894 I mean, we're going to experience a whole new kind of dark. 275 00:13:17,970 --> 00:13:21,985 Well, what if I found a way to make a little extra money 276 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:25,126 so that we spend our honeymoon not in Howe Caverns, 277 00:13:25,140 --> 00:13:27,566 but in Scotland? 278 00:13:27,580 --> 00:13:29,635 - Loch Ness? - Yeah. 279 00:13:29,650 --> 00:13:32,676 And you know, Edinburgh and the Highlands and Glasgow... 280 00:13:32,690 --> 00:13:35,574 Loch Ness. Nessy. 281 00:13:35,780 --> 00:13:40,115 Baby, I would love to search for the enchanted creature of the Emerald Loch, 282 00:13:40,131 --> 00:13:43,066 but... we can't afford that. 283 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:45,014 Maybe we can. 284 00:13:45,050 --> 00:13:48,235 Paint me. 285 00:13:48,580 --> 00:13:50,436 Okay, I don't get this. 286 00:13:50,449 --> 00:13:52,484 You've been making fun of that painting all this time 287 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:54,124 and now you want me to paint you? 288 00:13:54,138 --> 00:13:56,796 We knew we could torture Marshall because he has shame. 289 00:13:56,811 --> 00:13:57,966 I do not. 290 00:13:57,979 --> 00:14:00,734 In my body, where the shame gland should be, 291 00:14:00,750 --> 00:14:03,154 there's a second awesome gland. 292 00:14:03,168 --> 00:14:04,513 True story. 293 00:14:04,681 --> 00:14:07,505 Yeah, that's not the gland I'm worried about painting. 294 00:14:08,119 --> 00:14:09,136 Yeah. 295 00:14:09,178 --> 00:14:11,896 A nude Barney is a challenge. 296 00:14:12,071 --> 00:14:16,206 But I think you're talented enough to immortalize this. 297 00:14:16,910 --> 00:14:19,053 Now is the time— I'm 31. 298 00:14:19,069 --> 00:14:21,944 I'm at the peak of my physical beauty. 299 00:14:21,961 --> 00:14:26,203 If I were a woman, I'd have passed it long, long ago. 300 00:14:26,628 --> 00:14:28,463 Long ago. 301 00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:29,833 Forget it. 302 00:14:29,851 --> 00:14:33,333 I promised Marshall he was the only guy I would ever see naked. 303 00:14:35,548 --> 00:14:38,213 I'll give you $5,000. 304 00:14:38,229 --> 00:14:39,755 We're going to Loch Ness! 305 00:14:39,769 --> 00:14:40,926 Yeah! 306 00:14:43,469 --> 00:14:45,676 That cabby would not shut up. 307 00:14:45,688 --> 00:14:47,654 Yeah, we should call him a gabby. 308 00:14:47,670 --> 00:14:49,995 I think it, you say it. 309 00:14:50,398 --> 00:14:54,343 Hey, uh... thanks for putting me up last night, buddy. 310 00:14:54,648 --> 00:14:56,013 Give 'em hell. 311 00:14:57,956 --> 00:14:59,319 Morning, team. 312 00:14:59,426 --> 00:15:02,052 So, I have given it some thought, 313 00:15:02,065 --> 00:15:06,160 and I say we revisit columns. 314 00:15:06,177 --> 00:15:08,812 Oh, God, not this again. 315 00:15:08,964 --> 00:15:12,529 Ted, a man in a toga just arrived and delivered a parchment. 316 00:15:12,547 --> 00:15:13,970 Let me read it: 317 00:15:14,665 --> 00:15:16,271 Oh! It's from ancient Greece. 318 00:15:16,285 --> 00:15:19,611 They want their basic architectural elements back. 319 00:15:19,624 --> 00:15:21,649 - Geez. - What? 320 00:15:21,675 --> 00:15:22,990 You didn't hear me? 321 00:15:23,007 --> 00:15:24,852 Toga, parchment... 322 00:15:25,064 --> 00:15:26,921 Can I see you for one second? 323 00:15:26,936 --> 00:15:29,612 Ooh, I'm in trouble now. 324 00:15:32,685 --> 00:15:34,052 What are you doing? 325 00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:35,609 I thought we were friends. 326 00:15:35,626 --> 00:15:37,699 You slept on my couch, you ate my cereal. 327 00:15:37,717 --> 00:15:40,091 I tossed you more toilet paper. 328 00:15:40,104 --> 00:15:41,370 We are friends. 329 00:15:41,387 --> 00:15:45,431 But that doesn't magically make your bad ideas good. 330 00:15:45,444 --> 00:15:47,232 What? I don't believe this! 331 00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:49,341 You're, you're, you're wearing my clothes! 332 00:15:49,357 --> 00:15:51,392 And my girlfriend's... sneakers— 333 00:15:51,407 --> 00:15:53,601 man, you have weirdly small feet. 334 00:15:53,654 --> 00:15:57,440 Ted, I hope that you're not going to let our professional woes 335 00:15:57,456 --> 00:15:59,419 interfere with our friendship, 336 00:15:59,437 --> 00:16:02,742 because I really kind of need you right now. 337 00:16:05,166 --> 00:16:07,170 Okay, let's get this over with. 338 00:16:07,187 --> 00:16:10,122 Hey, hey! I don't want you phoning this in. 339 00:16:10,134 --> 00:16:13,149 This painting could, someday, become a serious work of art. 340 00:16:13,166 --> 00:16:15,812 I mean, you have been blessed with an amazing gift. 341 00:16:15,827 --> 00:16:17,220 Thank you. 342 00:16:17,236 --> 00:16:18,802 I meant me. 343 00:16:19,566 --> 00:16:22,691 Now, I like how you captured Marshall's essence. 344 00:16:22,704 --> 00:16:25,030 Goofy and unburdened, with wit. 345 00:16:25,046 --> 00:16:27,729 But me, I want something more regal. 346 00:16:27,746 --> 00:16:29,912 Something my progeny could look at and say, 347 00:16:29,925 --> 00:16:32,671 "There's stands Barnabus Stinson." 348 00:16:32,686 --> 00:16:34,391 He was wise... 349 00:16:34,746 --> 00:16:36,582 and strong. 350 00:16:38,335 --> 00:16:40,962 I don't think your sword will fit. 351 00:16:40,974 --> 00:16:42,661 I get that a lot. 352 00:16:43,624 --> 00:16:45,971 And so, as Lily began painting, 353 00:16:45,985 --> 00:16:47,901 Marshall thought about the $5,000 354 00:16:47,914 --> 00:16:50,399 and what his fiancée was doing to earn it. 355 00:16:50,417 --> 00:16:52,110 This isn't right. 356 00:16:53,024 --> 00:16:55,062 This isn't right at all. 357 00:16:55,076 --> 00:16:57,580 Finally, he could take it no more. 358 00:17:00,926 --> 00:17:02,101 Hold still. 359 00:17:03,866 --> 00:17:05,462 Hold still. 360 00:17:07,736 --> 00:17:10,701 - Hold still! - Paint faster! 361 00:17:12,536 --> 00:17:15,662 Okay, I guess it's time. 362 00:17:16,205 --> 00:17:18,130 Drop your shorts. 363 00:17:18,427 --> 00:17:19,891 Yeah. 364 00:17:20,854 --> 00:17:22,140 Wait, wait! 365 00:17:22,157 --> 00:17:24,799 That wasn't enough buildup. I need... 366 00:17:25,196 --> 00:17:28,032 In a world without justice, one man— 367 00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:30,211 - Oh, just drop them! - All right. 368 00:17:32,787 --> 00:17:35,790 - No! No, this is not right! - We had a deal! 369 00:17:35,807 --> 00:17:37,722 Well, I'm going back on the deal. Barney, get out! 370 00:17:37,755 --> 00:17:39,472 - You...! - It's over! 371 00:17:42,566 --> 00:17:45,649 Lily, I can't let you go through with this! 372 00:17:45,667 --> 00:17:49,111 I found a castle we can stay in, but it's an extra two grand. 373 00:17:49,125 --> 00:17:50,920 It's just not right! 374 00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:53,590 It's beautiful and they say it's haunted. 375 00:17:53,606 --> 00:17:57,310 I can't let the woman I love compromise her values for money! 376 00:17:57,326 --> 00:18:00,281 I totally think we can get some more money out of him. 377 00:18:00,296 --> 00:18:02,972 I'm never letting my fiancée, ever...! 378 00:18:02,987 --> 00:18:04,489 Oh, you're still here? 379 00:18:04,504 --> 00:18:05,709 Before you say anything, 380 00:18:05,725 --> 00:18:07,249 I'll give you an extra five grand. 381 00:18:07,264 --> 00:18:08,540 We accept. 382 00:18:09,446 --> 00:18:12,429 You people are so easy to control. 383 00:18:12,965 --> 00:18:15,701 Dance for me, puppets, dance. 384 00:18:15,717 --> 00:18:19,692 And that's how Uncle Barney paid for Lily and Marshall's honeymoon. 385 00:18:21,255 --> 00:18:23,291 Come on, Ted, listen, why don't we get back 386 00:18:23,305 --> 00:18:25,039 and finish drawing the plans for a building 387 00:18:25,055 --> 00:18:27,420 which, in my opinion, is never going to get built, 388 00:18:27,436 --> 00:18:30,171 so you and I can get out of here and grab a couple of beers. 389 00:18:30,186 --> 00:18:31,171 No. 390 00:18:31,187 --> 00:18:34,631 Look, Hammond, there's no easy way to say this but... 391 00:18:34,644 --> 00:18:35,762 Looking for Hammond Druthers. 392 00:18:35,796 --> 00:18:37,612 Oh, that's me. I'm Hammond Druthers. 393 00:18:39,506 --> 00:18:41,360 These are divorce papers. 394 00:18:41,477 --> 00:18:42,971 You've been served. 395 00:18:42,997 --> 00:18:44,611 Oh, God. 396 00:18:45,057 --> 00:18:47,500 She's really going through with this. 397 00:18:47,546 --> 00:18:50,761 So that's it. It's over. 398 00:18:50,884 --> 00:18:53,132 There is no easy way to say this, but... 399 00:18:53,144 --> 00:18:56,312 She's giving me the remains of Wolfie? 400 00:18:56,895 --> 00:18:58,751 My dog is dead? 401 00:18:58,975 --> 00:19:01,471 Oh, my God. I can't believe this. 402 00:19:01,625 --> 00:19:04,729 She always played too rough with him. 403 00:19:05,617 --> 00:19:08,392 Believe me, there is no easy way to say this— 404 00:19:12,746 --> 00:19:15,572 Guys, you have no idea how much this means to me right now. 405 00:19:15,584 --> 00:19:17,141 Wait, his birthday was yesterday! 406 00:19:17,154 --> 00:19:19,392 Yeah, but a bunch of us were up at the conference in Montreal, 407 00:19:19,425 --> 00:19:22,619 - so we thought... - No! No birthday! No! 408 00:19:22,635 --> 00:19:25,229 I got something to say and I'm gonna get it out. 409 00:19:25,246 --> 00:19:28,259 Hammond, listen to me. I am sorry that your dog died, 410 00:19:28,277 --> 00:19:30,790 and that your wife is divorcing you and that... 411 00:19:30,804 --> 00:19:33,279 your life is falling apart and that these guys missed your birthday. 412 00:19:33,316 --> 00:19:35,180 And there is no easy way to say... 413 00:19:35,196 --> 00:19:36,949 What are you doing? What's going on? 414 00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:38,449 Oh, God... 415 00:19:38,467 --> 00:19:41,279 Oh, come on, you're not going to pull that, are you? 416 00:19:41,307 --> 00:19:46,311 Oh! Look, yeah, right. Now we're falling onto the ground. 417 00:19:46,327 --> 00:19:49,392 Well, nice try, but guess what? 418 00:19:49,634 --> 00:19:51,199 You're fired! 419 00:19:51,215 --> 00:19:54,382 You're fired— you get it? You hear me? 420 00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:57,150 You're gone! You're fired! 421 00:20:12,844 --> 00:20:16,439 In my defense, I think we all suspected Hammond 422 00:20:16,456 --> 00:20:18,210 might have been faking. 423 00:20:19,644 --> 00:20:23,769 On the plus side, the EMTs seem to think he's going to be just fine 424 00:20:23,785 --> 00:20:28,251 and, as you saw, they did admit that I did not cause the heart attack, 425 00:20:28,264 --> 00:20:30,812 even if they said it a bit begrudgingly. 426 00:20:31,757 --> 00:20:34,912 And there it was, rock bottom: 427 00:20:34,926 --> 00:20:36,719 They all hated me. 428 00:20:36,756 --> 00:20:38,800 But just when all seemed lost, 429 00:20:38,815 --> 00:20:42,049 I had the greatest idea of my entire career. 430 00:20:45,554 --> 00:20:48,749 Margarita Fridays— great idea, boss. 431 00:20:59,458 --> 00:21:01,483 Okay, it's done. 432 00:21:01,935 --> 00:21:04,842 I'm gonna step out, so you can admire it. 433 00:21:04,858 --> 00:21:06,653 Thank you very much, Lily. 434 00:21:10,068 --> 00:21:11,663 Marshall, do you have the money? 435 00:21:11,676 --> 00:21:13,730 - Yeah. - Let's get out of here! 436 00:21:13,775 --> 00:21:17,211 A smooth area? You gave me the Ken doll? 437 00:21:21,036 --> 00:21:23,343 She left out Little Barney. 438 00:21:24,187 --> 00:21:26,313 Barnacle Junior. 439 00:21:26,897 --> 00:21:29,301 My Barnana is... 440 00:21:30,968 --> 00:21:33,133 Barnito Supreme.