1 00:00:01,140 --> 00:00:04,477 Kids, 2 00:00:01,140 --> 00:00:04,477 there's more than one story 3 00:00:01,140 --> 00:00:04,477 of how I met your mother. 4 00:00:04,477 --> 00:00:05,936 You know 5 00:00:04,477 --> 00:00:05,936 the short version, 6 00:00:05,936 --> 00:00:07,521 the thing with your mom's 7 00:00:05,936 --> 00:00:07,521 yellow umbrella. 8 00:00:07,521 --> 00:00:09,315 But there's a bigger story. 9 00:00:09,315 --> 00:00:10,983 The story of how I became 10 00:00:09,315 --> 00:00:10,983 who I had to become 11 00:00:10,983 --> 00:00:12,776 before I could meet her. 12 00:00:12,776 --> 00:00:15,571 And that story begins here. 13 00:00:15,571 --> 00:00:16,822 dary. 14 00:00:16,822 --> 00:00:18,449 Legendary! 15 00:00:18,449 --> 00:00:20,742 Dude, I am so excited 16 00:00:18,449 --> 00:00:20,742 that you're single again. 17 00:00:20,742 --> 00:00:23,203 We are going to 18 00:00:20,742 --> 00:00:23,203 conquer New York City. 19 00:00:23,203 --> 00:00:25,498 I already have a girl 20 00:00:23,203 --> 00:00:25,498 from work lined up for you. 21 00:00:25,498 --> 00:00:27,207 Right boob 22 00:00:25,498 --> 00:00:27,207 bigger than 23 00:00:25,498 --> 00:00:27,207 the left boob, 24 00:00:27,207 --> 00:00:28,875 which some choose to look 25 00:00:27,207 --> 00:00:28,875 at as "bra half empty," 26 00:00:28,875 --> 00:00:32,171 I choose to look at as 27 00:00:28,875 --> 00:00:32,171 "bra half full." 28 00:00:32,171 --> 00:00:35,424 I don't know. 29 00:00:32,171 --> 00:00:35,424 Robin and I broke up 30 00:00:32,171 --> 00:00:35,424 two weeks ago. 31 00:00:35,424 --> 00:00:37,426 I'm not ready. 32 00:00:37,426 --> 00:00:39,219 When will you be ready? 33 00:00:39,219 --> 00:00:41,305 It was a good question. 34 00:00:41,305 --> 00:00:43,849 After a big relationship ends, 35 00:00:41,305 --> 00:00:43,849 you need some time 36 00:00:41,305 --> 00:00:43,849 to recuperate. 37 00:00:43,849 --> 00:00:45,392 Robin took a trip 38 00:00:43,849 --> 00:00:45,392 to Argentina, 39 00:00:45,392 --> 00:00:47,394 and I went through 40 00:00:45,392 --> 00:00:47,394 my usual routine. 41 00:00:47,394 --> 00:00:49,271 I grew my breakup beard. 42 00:00:49,271 --> 00:00:50,731 Ted Mosby, suit up, 43 00:00:49,271 --> 00:00:50,731 'cause here's the plan. 44 00:00:50,731 --> 00:00:52,650 There's a Miss Nassau 45 00:00:50,731 --> 00:00:52,650 County pageant. 46 00:00:52,650 --> 00:00:55,528 We'll pretend to be judges 47 00:00:52,650 --> 00:00:55,528 and, yes, 48 00:00:52,650 --> 00:00:55,528 our votes are for sale. 49 00:00:56,487 --> 00:00:58,238 I'm not ready. 50 00:00:58,238 --> 00:00:59,865 I repainted the apartment. 51 00:00:59,865 --> 00:01:02,117 Finish line 52 00:00:59,865 --> 00:01:02,117 of a women's 10K. 53 00:01:02,117 --> 00:01:05,496 Salty girls 54 00:01:02,117 --> 00:01:05,496 on an endorphin high 55 00:01:02,117 --> 00:01:05,496 who just want to lie down. 56 00:01:06,413 --> 00:01:07,748 Yeah. 57 00:01:07,748 --> 00:01:09,583 I'm not ready. 58 00:01:09,583 --> 00:01:11,335 And the truth is, 59 00:01:09,583 --> 00:01:11,335 I was doing really good. 60 00:01:11,335 --> 00:01:14,129 Female acrobats 61 00:01:11,335 --> 00:01:14,129 from Montreal. 62 00:01:11,335 --> 00:01:14,129 Hmm. 63 00:01:14,129 --> 00:01:17,299 Super flexible. 64 00:01:14,129 --> 00:01:17,299 We are going to get 65 00:01:14,129 --> 00:01:17,299 Cirque du So-laid. 66 00:01:17,299 --> 00:01:18,718 What up? 67 00:01:18,718 --> 00:01:20,344 Barney, come on, 68 00:01:18,718 --> 00:01:20,344 we've covered this. 69 00:01:20,344 --> 00:01:21,928 Robin! 70 00:01:20,344 --> 00:01:21,928 Hi, guys. 71 00:01:21,928 --> 00:01:23,889 I just got in last night. 72 00:01:26,850 --> 00:01:28,227 This is Gael. 73 00:01:30,229 --> 00:01:31,689 Okay, I'm ready. 74 00:01:46,870 --> 00:01:48,830 I just can't 75 00:01:46,870 --> 00:01:48,830 believe her. 76 00:01:48,830 --> 00:01:51,833 We have this totally 77 00:01:48,830 --> 00:01:51,833 amicable split, 78 00:01:48,830 --> 00:01:51,833 everything's cool, 79 00:01:51,833 --> 00:01:54,127 and then she comes back 80 00:01:51,833 --> 00:01:54,127 from vacation with that guy? 81 00:01:54,127 --> 00:01:55,713 You know 82 00:01:54,127 --> 00:01:55,713 what she's doing? 83 00:01:55,713 --> 00:01:57,757 She's trying to 84 00:01:55,713 --> 00:01:57,757 win the breakup. 85 00:01:57,757 --> 00:02:00,593 What do you mean 86 00:01:57,757 --> 00:02:00,593 "win the breakup," 87 00:01:57,757 --> 00:02:00,593 old-timey inventor? 88 00:02:00,593 --> 00:02:02,595 What our 21st president, 89 00:02:00,593 --> 00:02:02,595 Chester A. Arthur, 90 00:02:02,595 --> 00:02:04,388 is trying to 91 00:02:02,595 --> 00:02:04,388 say is that, 92 00:02:04,388 --> 00:02:06,390 in every breakup 93 00:02:04,388 --> 00:02:06,390 there are winners 94 00:02:04,388 --> 00:02:06,390 and losers. 95 00:02:06,390 --> 00:02:08,726 Yeah. 96 00:02:06,390 --> 00:02:08,726 It's not a competition. 97 00:02:08,726 --> 00:02:10,977 Now, your 98 00:02:08,726 --> 00:02:10,977 80-day balloon race 99 00:02:08,726 --> 00:02:10,977 around the world, 100 00:02:10,977 --> 00:02:13,146 that was a competition. 101 00:02:13,146 --> 00:02:14,648 That's my wife. 102 00:02:14,648 --> 00:02:16,609 Of course 103 00:02:14,648 --> 00:02:16,609 it's a competition, Lil. 104 00:02:16,609 --> 00:02:18,694 How else do you explain 105 00:02:16,609 --> 00:02:18,694 what's his name? 106 00:02:19,653 --> 00:02:20,780 Gael. 107 00:02:22,531 --> 00:02:24,157 I'm sorry, Gayle? 108 00:02:25,158 --> 00:02:26,619 Gael. 109 00:02:27,620 --> 00:02:28,746 Kyle? 110 00:02:29,747 --> 00:02:30,872 Gael. 111 00:02:32,750 --> 00:02:33,793 Girl? 112 00:02:35,961 --> 00:02:38,004 It's pronounced 113 00:02:35,961 --> 00:02:38,004 "guy-el." 114 00:02:38,004 --> 00:02:40,006 It means "joyful." 115 00:02:40,006 --> 00:02:42,635 That is why I live my life 116 00:02:40,006 --> 00:02:42,635 by bringing joy, 117 00:02:42,635 --> 00:02:45,805 good energy 118 00:02:42,635 --> 00:02:45,805 and happiness to others. 119 00:02:45,805 --> 00:02:48,265 Especially those 120 00:02:45,805 --> 00:02:48,265 less fortunate than I. 121 00:02:49,224 --> 00:02:51,059 I'm sorry, so it's Gayle? 122 00:02:52,018 --> 00:02:53,687 What a jerk. 123 00:02:53,687 --> 00:02:55,105 I don't go to 124 00:02:53,687 --> 00:02:55,105 your stupid country 125 00:02:55,105 --> 00:02:57,899 and try to seduce women 126 00:02:55,105 --> 00:02:57,899 with my sexy accent. 127 00:02:57,899 --> 00:03:01,027 That's a great point, 128 00:02:57,899 --> 00:03:01,027 Persian nightclub owner. 129 00:03:01,027 --> 00:03:03,947 Oh, and he's a masseuse? 130 00:03:03,947 --> 00:03:07,785 With massage, 131 00:03:03,947 --> 00:03:07,785 everything is connected. 132 00:03:07,785 --> 00:03:11,079 I can touch your foot, 133 00:03:07,785 --> 00:03:11,079 cleanse your kidney. 134 00:03:11,079 --> 00:03:15,835 I can touch your earlobe, 135 00:03:11,079 --> 00:03:15,835 and slow your heartbeat. 136 00:03:15,835 --> 00:03:18,128 One time, I used warm water 137 00:03:15,835 --> 00:03:18,128 to make a guy pee. 138 00:03:18,128 --> 00:03:20,756 Of course, I didn't 139 00:03:18,128 --> 00:03:20,756 make a career out of it. 140 00:03:20,756 --> 00:03:23,759 Career? 141 00:03:20,756 --> 00:03:23,759 Such an American idea. 142 00:03:23,759 --> 00:03:26,928 My career is living. 143 00:03:23,759 --> 00:03:26,928 Windsurfing. 144 00:03:26,928 --> 00:03:28,555 Making love. 145 00:03:29,473 --> 00:03:31,642 Sometimes at the same time. 146 00:03:32,810 --> 00:03:34,854 How? How would 147 00:03:32,810 --> 00:03:34,854 one do that exactly? 148 00:03:36,730 --> 00:03:38,649 Seriously, don't giggle. 149 00:03:36,730 --> 00:03:38,649 Tell me. 150 00:03:38,649 --> 00:03:40,066 Not possible. 151 00:03:40,066 --> 00:03:42,402 You cannot have sex 152 00:03:40,066 --> 00:03:42,402 on a windsurfing board. 153 00:03:42,402 --> 00:03:43,403 How do you know? 154 00:03:43,403 --> 00:03:45,489 Glad you asked, Lily. 155 00:03:45,489 --> 00:03:49,117 I have crafted a list of 156 00:03:45,489 --> 00:03:49,117 every vehicle, land-based, 157 00:03:45,489 --> 00:03:49,117 aquatic and airborne, 158 00:03:49,117 --> 00:03:51,495 in which, slash, on which 159 00:03:49,117 --> 00:03:51,495 it's possible to have sex. 160 00:03:51,495 --> 00:03:53,539 And of those 33 vehicles, 161 00:03:53,539 --> 00:03:56,625 I have had sex in, 162 00:03:53,539 --> 00:03:56,625 slash, on 31. 163 00:03:56,625 --> 00:03:59,545 Windsurfing board, 164 00:03:56,625 --> 00:03:59,545 not on the list, 165 00:03:56,625 --> 00:03:59,545 not possible. 166 00:03:59,545 --> 00:04:02,715 Oh, P.S., in order 167 00:03:59,545 --> 00:04:02,715 to hit 33, 168 00:03:59,545 --> 00:04:02,715 all I need is bobsled 169 00:04:02,715 --> 00:04:05,217 and the Apollo 11 170 00:04:02,715 --> 00:04:05,217 space capsule. 171 00:04:05,217 --> 00:04:08,554 To get that last one, 172 00:04:05,217 --> 00:04:08,554 you'd have to break 173 00:04:05,217 --> 00:04:08,554 into the Smithsonian. 174 00:04:08,554 --> 00:04:10,430 This conversation 175 00:04:08,554 --> 00:04:10,430 never happened. 176 00:04:10,430 --> 00:04:14,059 All right, you're suited up, 177 00:04:10,430 --> 00:04:14,059 I'm bearded down, 178 00:04:14,059 --> 00:04:15,143 let's get out there 179 00:04:14,059 --> 00:04:15,143 and win this thing. 180 00:04:15,143 --> 00:04:16,812 Yes! 181 00:04:16,812 --> 00:04:18,689 You guys, have fun 182 00:04:16,812 --> 00:04:18,689 on your double date. 183 00:04:18,689 --> 00:04:22,192 Oh, for the hundredth time, 184 00:04:18,689 --> 00:04:22,192 I'm sorry, there was a lull. 185 00:04:22,192 --> 00:04:25,028 And then we fell asleep 186 00:04:22,192 --> 00:04:25,028 on the beach 187 00:04:22,192 --> 00:04:25,028 while counting the stars. 188 00:04:25,028 --> 00:04:26,655 Do you want to have 189 00:04:25,028 --> 00:04:26,655 dinner with me? 190 00:04:26,655 --> 00:04:27,698 Uh... Us? 191 00:04:29,074 --> 00:04:30,784 There was no lull. 192 00:04:30,784 --> 00:04:32,369 You just think 193 00:04:30,784 --> 00:04:32,369 he's incredibly hot. 194 00:04:32,369 --> 00:04:33,954 No, I don't! 195 00:04:33,954 --> 00:04:36,832 Not incredibly. 196 00:04:36,832 --> 00:04:40,920 It's a little hard to believe 197 00:04:36,832 --> 00:04:40,920 how hot he is. But, I mean, 198 00:04:36,832 --> 00:04:40,920 she's not serious about him. 199 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:43,547 The girl never 200 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:43,547 marries the hot guy. 201 00:04:43,547 --> 00:04:44,840 Well, you did. 202 00:04:44,840 --> 00:04:47,509 I'm one of the lucky few. 203 00:04:47,509 --> 00:04:50,846 Lily, Ted is our best friend, 204 00:04:47,509 --> 00:04:50,846 so let's 205 00:04:47,509 --> 00:04:50,846 get something straight, 206 00:04:50,846 --> 00:04:53,515 male Gayle is not hot. 207 00:04:53,515 --> 00:04:55,684 He's not our friend. 208 00:04:53,515 --> 00:04:55,684 Don't even look at him. 209 00:04:53,515 --> 00:04:55,684 Just... 210 00:04:55,684 --> 00:04:57,978 No eye contact. 211 00:04:57,978 --> 00:05:00,689 So that night, 212 00:04:57,978 --> 00:05:00,689 as Lily and Marshall 213 00:04:57,978 --> 00:05:00,689 did their best to hate Gael... 214 00:05:00,689 --> 00:05:03,609 Hey, Robin. Gael. 215 00:05:03,609 --> 00:05:05,861 Robin 216 00:05:03,609 --> 00:05:05,861 pulled me aside to check in. 217 00:05:05,861 --> 00:05:09,531 Now, I'm sure she meant 218 00:05:05,861 --> 00:05:09,531 the best, 219 00:05:05,861 --> 00:05:09,531 but she said the worst. 220 00:05:09,531 --> 00:05:11,575 I just want to make sure 221 00:05:09,531 --> 00:05:11,575 you're okay with this. 222 00:05:11,575 --> 00:05:14,411 "I just want to make sure 223 00:05:11,575 --> 00:05:14,411 you're okay with this?" 224 00:05:14,411 --> 00:05:16,830 Damn it! I can't believe 225 00:05:14,411 --> 00:05:16,830 she's the one 226 00:05:14,411 --> 00:05:16,830 that gets to say that. 227 00:05:16,830 --> 00:05:17,957 She's winning, isn't she? 228 00:05:17,957 --> 00:05:19,499 Not for long. 229 00:05:19,499 --> 00:05:22,795 Okay, pep talk. 230 00:05:19,499 --> 00:05:22,795 Take a knee. 231 00:05:22,795 --> 00:05:26,840 Ted, tonight we're gonna 232 00:05:22,795 --> 00:05:26,840 get you someone 233 00:05:22,795 --> 00:05:26,840 way hotter than Robin. 234 00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:31,094 Okay, Robin's a 10. 235 00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:31,094 Fine, we'll get you a 12. 236 00:05:31,094 --> 00:05:33,639 Or, you know, two sixes. 237 00:05:34,556 --> 00:05:36,558 Failing that, four threes. 238 00:05:36,558 --> 00:05:38,435 And, break glass 239 00:05:36,558 --> 00:05:38,435 in case of emergency, 240 00:05:38,435 --> 00:05:40,228 we'll go to Staten Island, 241 00:05:38,435 --> 00:05:40,228 we'll get you 12 ones. 242 00:05:40,228 --> 00:05:42,815 Ted, my boy, 243 00:05:40,228 --> 00:05:42,815 I am going to 244 00:05:40,228 --> 00:05:42,815 re-teach you... 245 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:47,152 Amy. 246 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:47,152 Ted. 247 00:05:49,613 --> 00:05:50,739 Barney. 248 00:05:55,661 --> 00:05:57,871 Ted, we are back! 249 00:05:57,871 --> 00:05:59,039 Up here. 250 00:06:00,874 --> 00:06:02,918 Up high. 251 00:06:02,918 --> 00:06:05,004 Fivin' it up five-style! 252 00:06:07,464 --> 00:06:08,966 I'm sorry 253 00:06:07,464 --> 00:06:08,966 this is all so weird. 254 00:06:08,966 --> 00:06:10,759 Weird, 255 00:06:08,966 --> 00:06:10,759 why would it be weird? 256 00:06:10,759 --> 00:06:13,804 Because you used to 257 00:06:10,759 --> 00:06:13,804 date our best friend 258 00:06:10,759 --> 00:06:13,804 or because my wife 259 00:06:13,804 --> 00:06:16,431 thinks your new boyfriend 260 00:06:13,804 --> 00:06:16,431 is incredibly hot? 261 00:06:16,431 --> 00:06:19,685 I do not! 262 00:06:16,431 --> 00:06:19,685 Shut up! Oh, my God! 263 00:06:21,728 --> 00:06:24,356 I just hope Ted's okay. 264 00:06:24,356 --> 00:06:27,317 I hate to 265 00:06:24,356 --> 00:06:27,317 see you so tense. 266 00:06:27,317 --> 00:06:30,403 I mean, we had a really 267 00:06:27,317 --> 00:06:30,403 clean breakup, you know? 268 00:06:30,403 --> 00:06:33,615 We really acted like adults, 269 00:06:30,403 --> 00:06:33,615 so the last thing... Oh! 270 00:06:33,615 --> 00:06:35,868 Oh, God, yeah. 271 00:06:37,118 --> 00:06:39,204 Oh, God. 272 00:06:39,204 --> 00:06:40,956 Gael, are you 273 00:06:39,204 --> 00:06:40,956 a properly licensed 274 00:06:39,204 --> 00:06:40,956 massage therapist? 275 00:06:40,956 --> 00:06:42,749 What? 276 00:06:42,749 --> 00:06:45,460 Are you legally certified 277 00:06:42,749 --> 00:06:45,460 by some type 278 00:06:42,749 --> 00:06:45,460 of governing entity? 279 00:06:45,460 --> 00:06:47,921 I trained for three years 280 00:06:45,460 --> 00:06:47,921 at an institute 281 00:06:45,460 --> 00:06:47,921 in Buenos Aires. 282 00:06:47,921 --> 00:06:50,049 I have a card. 283 00:06:47,921 --> 00:06:50,049 I can show you. 284 00:06:50,049 --> 00:06:51,508 Is the card laminated? 285 00:06:51,508 --> 00:06:52,718 What do you mean 286 00:06:51,508 --> 00:06:52,718 "laminated"? 287 00:06:52,718 --> 00:06:55,054 Covered in 288 00:06:52,718 --> 00:06:55,054 protective plastic. 289 00:06:55,054 --> 00:06:56,889 Oh, yes. 290 00:06:55,054 --> 00:06:56,889 Damn it. 291 00:06:57,806 --> 00:06:59,224 He checks out. 292 00:07:00,183 --> 00:07:05,355 Ted. Ted. Ted. Ted. 293 00:07:05,355 --> 00:07:06,565 What? 294 00:07:08,441 --> 00:07:09,735 Let's bail, 295 00:07:08,441 --> 00:07:09,735 this place is dead. 296 00:07:09,735 --> 00:07:10,903 Yeah, you're right. 297 00:07:10,903 --> 00:07:12,571 We're both 298 00:07:10,903 --> 00:07:12,571 totally striking out. 299 00:07:12,571 --> 00:07:14,823 Exactly, plus, 300 00:07:12,571 --> 00:07:14,823 we're on 301 00:07:12,571 --> 00:07:14,823 a tight schedule. 302 00:07:14,823 --> 00:07:16,992 I've got 303 00:07:14,823 --> 00:07:16,992 this entire evening 304 00:07:14,823 --> 00:07:16,992 perfectly planned out. 305 00:07:16,992 --> 00:07:18,326 Spoiler alert, 306 00:07:18,326 --> 00:07:19,953 our last stop 307 00:07:18,326 --> 00:07:19,953 is an after-hours club 308 00:07:19,953 --> 00:07:22,664 so after-hours, 309 00:07:19,953 --> 00:07:22,664 it's three days from now. 310 00:07:22,664 --> 00:07:24,624 What up! 311 00:07:24,624 --> 00:07:27,669 Are you blind? 312 00:07:24,624 --> 00:07:27,669 I'm making out with a 12. 313 00:07:24,624 --> 00:07:27,669 I am winning. 314 00:07:27,669 --> 00:07:29,295 Yeah, but I didn't 315 00:07:27,669 --> 00:07:29,295 get to help. 316 00:07:29,295 --> 00:07:31,131 So you're saying 317 00:07:29,295 --> 00:07:31,131 you want me to throw away 318 00:07:31,131 --> 00:07:33,967 a super-hot girl 319 00:07:31,131 --> 00:07:33,967 just because you didn't 320 00:07:31,131 --> 00:07:33,967 help me get her? 321 00:07:33,967 --> 00:07:36,136 Apology accepted. 322 00:07:33,967 --> 00:07:36,136 Let's go. 323 00:07:36,136 --> 00:07:37,679 Who's the suit? 324 00:07:37,679 --> 00:07:39,431 This is Barney. 325 00:07:37,679 --> 00:07:39,431 Barney, Amy. 326 00:07:39,431 --> 00:07:41,349 I'm not gonna 327 00:07:39,431 --> 00:07:41,349 remember that. 328 00:07:41,349 --> 00:07:43,852 Now, if you'll excuse me, 329 00:07:41,349 --> 00:07:43,852 random chick 330 00:07:41,349 --> 00:07:43,852 from earlier tonight, 331 00:07:43,852 --> 00:07:45,645 as you shall 332 00:07:43,852 --> 00:07:45,645 henceforth be known, 333 00:07:45,645 --> 00:07:47,313 Ted and I have 334 00:07:45,645 --> 00:07:47,313 a schedule to keep. 335 00:07:47,313 --> 00:07:50,109 Oh, well, you can check off 336 00:07:47,313 --> 00:07:50,109 "8:54, dress up like a dork 337 00:07:50,109 --> 00:07:52,027 "and bother the cool kids." 338 00:07:52,027 --> 00:07:53,695 Beat it, nerd. 339 00:07:53,695 --> 00:07:56,990 Wow, wow. 340 00:07:53,695 --> 00:07:56,990 Great stuff, Tommy Lee. 341 00:07:56,990 --> 00:07:59,993 See, what you 342 00:07:56,990 --> 00:07:59,993 don't understand is 343 00:07:56,990 --> 00:07:59,993 I'm Ted's wingman. 344 00:07:59,993 --> 00:08:02,079 It's a sacred bond, 345 00:07:59,993 --> 00:08:02,079 much stronger than any... 346 00:08:02,079 --> 00:08:04,623 They're making out again. 347 00:08:04,623 --> 00:08:05,999 Massage therapist. 348 00:08:07,417 --> 00:08:09,252 And you know what, "Gayle"? 349 00:08:09,252 --> 00:08:13,256 Your piece of chicken 350 00:08:09,252 --> 00:08:13,256 looks a little tense to me. 351 00:08:13,256 --> 00:08:16,635 Oh, oh, does that 352 00:08:13,256 --> 00:08:16,635 feel good, Mr. Chicken? 353 00:08:16,635 --> 00:08:19,179 Well, guess what? 354 00:08:16,635 --> 00:08:19,179 I didn't wash my hands. 355 00:08:20,139 --> 00:08:21,556 Got him. 356 00:08:23,391 --> 00:08:25,185 Lily! 357 00:08:25,185 --> 00:08:28,772 We carry so much 358 00:08:25,185 --> 00:08:28,772 ancient emotion 359 00:08:25,185 --> 00:08:28,772 in our neck and shoulders. 360 00:08:28,772 --> 00:08:31,399 Things we should have 361 00:08:28,772 --> 00:08:31,399 let go of years ago. 362 00:08:31,399 --> 00:08:33,819 I forgive you, Mom. 363 00:08:35,862 --> 00:08:37,990 Lily, we are 364 00:08:35,862 --> 00:08:37,990 Ted's best friends. 365 00:08:37,990 --> 00:08:39,908 Our job is to 366 00:08:37,990 --> 00:08:39,908 hate that guy. 367 00:08:39,908 --> 00:08:42,368 Oh, yeah, 368 00:08:39,908 --> 00:08:42,368 that's what I was doing. 369 00:08:42,368 --> 00:08:45,455 I was just building him up 370 00:08:42,368 --> 00:08:45,455 so a few minutes later, 371 00:08:45,455 --> 00:08:47,707 I could totally 372 00:08:45,455 --> 00:08:47,707 cut him down. 373 00:08:51,086 --> 00:08:54,297 Weren't you wearing a bra? 374 00:08:54,297 --> 00:08:57,342 The night 375 00:08:54,297 --> 00:08:57,342 was going great. 376 00:08:54,297 --> 00:08:57,342 Amy was cool and dangerous. 377 00:08:57,342 --> 00:09:00,428 She found a friend for Barney. 378 00:08:57,342 --> 00:09:00,428 She even paid for drinks. 379 00:09:00,428 --> 00:09:01,680 Sort of. 380 00:09:03,223 --> 00:09:05,017 They know us here. 381 00:09:03,223 --> 00:09:05,017 You're gonna 382 00:09:03,223 --> 00:09:05,017 get us in trouble. 383 00:09:05,017 --> 00:09:07,352 Tell me something, 384 00:09:07,352 --> 00:09:10,772 do you ask your tailor to 385 00:09:07,352 --> 00:09:10,772 leave extra room in the crotch 386 00:09:07,352 --> 00:09:10,772 for your huge vagina? 387 00:09:12,691 --> 00:09:14,651 You... 388 00:09:14,651 --> 00:09:16,111 Your vagina... 389 00:09:17,737 --> 00:09:19,031 Ted, this chick is crazy. 390 00:09:19,031 --> 00:09:20,240 We're leaving. 391 00:09:19,031 --> 00:09:20,240 Good idea. 392 00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:22,034 Let's all go back 393 00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:22,034 to my place. 394 00:09:22,034 --> 00:09:25,787 Your place? 395 00:09:22,034 --> 00:09:25,787 Uh, thanks, but no thanks, 396 00:09:22,034 --> 00:09:25,787 1994 Courtney Love. 397 00:09:26,705 --> 00:09:28,540 I have a hot tub. 398 00:09:29,916 --> 00:09:32,544 Okay, this is actually 399 00:09:29,916 --> 00:09:32,544 pretty nice. 400 00:09:35,130 --> 00:09:37,298 I like your tats. 401 00:09:37,298 --> 00:09:38,925 Thanks, you can play 402 00:09:37,298 --> 00:09:38,925 with them if you want. 403 00:09:38,925 --> 00:09:41,720 They're 100% real. 404 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:44,514 No, your tats. 405 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:44,514 Toos. Your tattoos. 406 00:09:44,514 --> 00:09:45,557 Oh! 407 00:09:46,683 --> 00:09:48,393 Thanks. 408 00:09:48,393 --> 00:09:49,394 You should get one. 409 00:09:49,394 --> 00:09:50,562 Wrong. 410 00:09:50,562 --> 00:09:52,689 Ted has a classic, 411 00:09:50,562 --> 00:09:52,689 clean-cut look 412 00:09:52,689 --> 00:09:56,776 that never goes out of style 413 00:09:52,689 --> 00:09:56,776 season after season, burn! 414 00:09:56,776 --> 00:09:59,529 Yeah? Well, I think 415 00:09:56,776 --> 00:09:59,529 he would look hot 416 00:09:56,776 --> 00:09:59,529 with some ink. 417 00:09:59,529 --> 00:10:01,406 No, he wouldn't. 418 00:09:59,529 --> 00:10:01,406 Yes, he would. 419 00:10:01,406 --> 00:10:02,532 No, he wouldn't. 420 00:10:02,532 --> 00:10:05,035 Yeah-huh. 421 00:10:02,532 --> 00:10:05,035 Yeah, nuh-uh. 422 00:10:05,035 --> 00:10:06,828 I'm ready to do anything 423 00:10:05,035 --> 00:10:06,828 you want, by the way. 424 00:10:06,828 --> 00:10:08,872 Anything. Right now. 425 00:10:10,832 --> 00:10:13,376 Ted, who are you 426 00:10:10,832 --> 00:10:13,376 gonna side with 427 00:10:10,832 --> 00:10:13,376 on this tattoo thing? 428 00:10:13,376 --> 00:10:15,628 I think I'd look way hot 429 00:10:13,376 --> 00:10:15,628 with some ink. 430 00:10:15,628 --> 00:10:17,672 Yeah, you would. 431 00:10:15,628 --> 00:10:17,672 Yeah. 432 00:10:19,424 --> 00:10:21,426 Oh, my God! Tyler? 433 00:10:21,426 --> 00:10:24,345 Mommy! Daddy! She's back! 434 00:10:24,345 --> 00:10:28,016 Damn it, 435 00:10:24,345 --> 00:10:28,016 they were supposed to be 436 00:10:24,345 --> 00:10:28,016 in the Hamptons. Run! 437 00:10:29,851 --> 00:10:31,853 Sorry. 438 00:10:31,853 --> 00:10:34,397 I used to nanny 439 00:10:31,853 --> 00:10:34,397 for those jerks 440 00:10:31,853 --> 00:10:34,397 until they fired me. 441 00:10:34,397 --> 00:10:36,399 So unfair. 442 00:10:34,397 --> 00:10:36,399 Unfair? 443 00:10:36,399 --> 00:10:38,401 I wouldn't let you take care 444 00:10:36,399 --> 00:10:38,401 of the imaginary kids 445 00:10:38,401 --> 00:10:40,695 I make up to score 446 00:10:38,401 --> 00:10:40,695 with single moms. 447 00:10:40,695 --> 00:10:42,530 That's it, Ted. 448 00:10:40,695 --> 00:10:42,530 We're going home. 449 00:10:40,695 --> 00:10:42,530 Ugh. 450 00:10:44,991 --> 00:10:46,118 Ted? 451 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:48,870 Ted, you okay? 452 00:10:48,870 --> 00:10:50,538 Hello, Ted. 453 00:10:50,538 --> 00:10:52,332 Robin and I are about 454 00:10:50,538 --> 00:10:52,332 to make 455 00:10:50,538 --> 00:10:52,332 fantastic aquatic sex 456 00:10:52,332 --> 00:10:53,959 on this windsurfing board. 457 00:10:53,959 --> 00:10:57,129 And I just want to 458 00:10:53,959 --> 00:10:57,129 make sure 459 00:10:53,959 --> 00:10:57,129 you're okay with this. 460 00:11:00,465 --> 00:11:01,883 Okay, how do we do this? 461 00:11:01,883 --> 00:11:05,095 I think your leg 462 00:11:01,883 --> 00:11:05,095 goes up, up... 463 00:11:05,095 --> 00:11:06,596 Okay, how about if I... 464 00:11:06,596 --> 00:11:07,931 No, mine... 465 00:11:07,931 --> 00:11:09,724 I'm okay. 466 00:11:09,724 --> 00:11:12,102 In fact, here's 467 00:11:09,724 --> 00:11:12,102 how okay I am. 468 00:11:12,102 --> 00:11:13,603 I'm getting a tattoo. 469 00:11:13,603 --> 00:11:16,648 You're not 470 00:11:13,603 --> 00:11:16,648 getting a tattoo, 471 00:11:13,603 --> 00:11:16,648 it's not you. 472 00:11:16,648 --> 00:11:19,234 Ted, you are heading 473 00:11:16,648 --> 00:11:19,234 down a dark path. 474 00:11:20,568 --> 00:11:23,738 That dark path 475 00:11:20,568 --> 00:11:23,738 is my driveway. 476 00:11:23,738 --> 00:11:26,741 But you need a plan 477 00:11:23,738 --> 00:11:26,741 and you need a wingman! 478 00:11:26,741 --> 00:11:29,161 This is so going 479 00:11:26,741 --> 00:11:29,161 in my blog! 480 00:11:31,997 --> 00:11:33,873 You wanna have sex? 481 00:11:35,792 --> 00:11:36,835 Okay. 482 00:11:38,837 --> 00:11:41,965 And underneath, 483 00:11:38,837 --> 00:11:41,965 it should say, "I win." 484 00:11:41,965 --> 00:11:44,717 And then it should have 485 00:11:41,965 --> 00:11:44,717 flames 486 00:11:41,965 --> 00:11:44,717 coming out the bottom. 487 00:11:44,717 --> 00:11:46,970 Fire! We should 488 00:11:44,717 --> 00:11:46,970 start a fire. 489 00:11:47,929 --> 00:11:50,265 After this, maybe. 490 00:11:50,265 --> 00:11:53,393 Oh, man, this is 491 00:11:50,265 --> 00:11:53,393 going to be legend... 492 00:11:50,265 --> 00:11:53,393 Wait for it... 493 00:11:53,393 --> 00:11:55,061 And that's all 494 00:11:53,393 --> 00:11:55,061 I remember. 495 00:11:55,061 --> 00:11:57,814 The next morning, 496 00:11:55,061 --> 00:11:57,814 I woke up alone back home. 497 00:12:19,878 --> 00:12:22,505 Hey, buddy, 498 00:12:19,878 --> 00:12:22,505 how was your night? 499 00:12:22,505 --> 00:12:27,344 You know, it was great. 500 00:12:22,505 --> 00:12:27,344 I met this crazy girl, 501 00:12:22,505 --> 00:12:27,344 I almost got a tattoo. 502 00:12:27,344 --> 00:12:31,472 Don't worry. 503 00:12:27,344 --> 00:12:31,472 I didn't, but it was... 504 00:12:27,344 --> 00:12:31,472 It was amazing. 505 00:12:31,472 --> 00:12:34,767 I think it's safe to say, 506 00:12:31,472 --> 00:12:34,767 I am winning this breakup. 507 00:12:36,395 --> 00:12:38,146 Look. 508 00:12:38,146 --> 00:12:39,731 Oh, my God. 509 00:12:39,731 --> 00:12:40,857 What? 510 00:12:40,857 --> 00:12:43,443 Nothing. 511 00:12:40,857 --> 00:12:43,443 This J. Crew catalog. 512 00:12:43,443 --> 00:12:46,196 Who brings 513 00:12:43,443 --> 00:12:46,196 two golden retrievers 514 00:12:43,443 --> 00:12:46,196 in a canoe? 515 00:12:48,531 --> 00:12:49,615 We got to 516 00:12:48,531 --> 00:12:49,615 call Barney. 517 00:12:49,615 --> 00:12:52,535 Way ahead of you. 518 00:12:52,535 --> 00:12:55,580 Hey, guys, 519 00:12:52,535 --> 00:12:55,580 what's the big emergency? 520 00:12:52,535 --> 00:12:55,580 Oh, and B the W, 521 00:12:55,580 --> 00:12:57,082 I am never 522 00:12:55,580 --> 00:12:57,082 speaking to Ted again. 523 00:12:57,082 --> 00:12:58,624 Really? Never? 524 00:12:58,624 --> 00:13:02,087 Not even if, say, 525 00:12:58,624 --> 00:13:02,087 butterflies 526 00:12:58,624 --> 00:13:02,087 flew out of his ass? 527 00:13:04,672 --> 00:13:08,009 Ted? 528 00:13:04,672 --> 00:13:08,009 Could you grab me 529 00:13:04,672 --> 00:13:08,009 the fondue pot? 530 00:13:10,511 --> 00:13:12,055 He has no idea. 531 00:13:13,390 --> 00:13:15,767 Mmm-hmm. 532 00:13:13,390 --> 00:13:15,767 And up we go. 533 00:13:19,438 --> 00:13:20,855 Thank you. 534 00:13:19,438 --> 00:13:20,855 Mmm-hmm. 535 00:13:20,855 --> 00:13:22,441 What? 536 00:13:23,358 --> 00:13:24,525 Ted? 537 00:13:23,358 --> 00:13:24,525 Mmm-hmm? 538 00:13:24,525 --> 00:13:26,486 I came here 539 00:13:24,525 --> 00:13:26,486 this morning because 540 00:13:27,404 --> 00:13:29,739 I want to apologize. 541 00:13:29,739 --> 00:13:32,617 Apology accepted, Barney. 542 00:13:29,739 --> 00:13:32,617 As you can see, 543 00:13:32,617 --> 00:13:35,536 I do just fine on my own. 544 00:13:32,617 --> 00:13:35,536 I don't need a baby-sitter. 545 00:13:35,536 --> 00:13:38,415 See, all this time, 546 00:13:35,536 --> 00:13:38,415 I thought you needed 547 00:13:35,536 --> 00:13:38,415 a wingman to fly, 548 00:13:39,499 --> 00:13:40,666 but the truth is, you... 549 00:13:40,666 --> 00:13:41,960 You've got 550 00:13:40,666 --> 00:13:41,960 your own wings now. 551 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:43,711 Mmm. 552 00:13:43,711 --> 00:13:47,048 Since you and Robin split, 553 00:13:43,711 --> 00:13:47,048 you've been gestating. 554 00:13:47,048 --> 00:13:50,676 Growing in your cocoon. 555 00:13:50,676 --> 00:13:55,181 And last night, 556 00:13:50,676 --> 00:13:55,181 you burst out of that 557 00:13:50,676 --> 00:13:55,181 cocoon like a... 558 00:13:55,181 --> 00:13:57,058 Like a majestic... 559 00:13:57,058 --> 00:13:58,726 Uh... 560 00:13:58,726 --> 00:14:01,146 Gosh, what is it that 561 00:13:58,726 --> 00:14:01,146 comes out of a cocoon? 562 00:14:01,146 --> 00:14:03,606 I was always 563 00:14:01,146 --> 00:14:03,606 bad at science. 564 00:14:03,606 --> 00:14:04,941 He's going to 565 00:14:03,606 --> 00:14:04,941 say it! 566 00:14:05,900 --> 00:14:07,277 A butterfly? 567 00:14:09,612 --> 00:14:11,156 What? 568 00:14:09,612 --> 00:14:11,156 Nothing, buddy. 569 00:14:11,156 --> 00:14:12,240 Ow! 570 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:14,367 Why did that hurt so... 571 00:14:15,994 --> 00:14:17,036 Oh! 572 00:14:19,205 --> 00:14:20,832 Oh, my God! 573 00:14:23,168 --> 00:14:24,544 I have a tattoo! 574 00:14:24,544 --> 00:14:25,795 Oh, that's not a tattoo. 575 00:14:25,795 --> 00:14:29,007 That, dear boy, 576 00:14:25,795 --> 00:14:29,007 is a tramp stamp. 577 00:14:29,007 --> 00:14:30,300 A tramp stamp. 578 00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:33,512 You know, a ho tag. 579 00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:33,512 Ass antlers. 580 00:14:33,512 --> 00:14:36,181 A Panama City 581 00:14:33,512 --> 00:14:36,181 license plate. 582 00:14:36,181 --> 00:14:38,641 And suddenly, 583 00:14:36,181 --> 00:14:38,641 it all came back to me. 584 00:14:38,641 --> 00:14:41,227 dary. Legendary! 585 00:14:43,104 --> 00:14:45,773 Man, I am so winning 586 00:14:43,104 --> 00:14:45,773 this breakup. 587 00:14:47,567 --> 00:14:49,735 I just broke up 588 00:14:47,567 --> 00:14:49,735 with my boyfriend Steve. 589 00:14:49,735 --> 00:14:51,530 He was totally annoying. 590 00:14:49,735 --> 00:14:51,530 He was, like, 591 00:14:51,530 --> 00:14:53,239 "I think you're the one, 592 00:14:51,530 --> 00:14:53,239 I want to marry you." 593 00:14:53,239 --> 00:14:55,825 What a wuss. 594 00:14:55,825 --> 00:14:57,827 Do you think exes 595 00:14:55,825 --> 00:14:57,827 can be friends? 596 00:14:57,827 --> 00:15:02,582 Yeah, sure. 597 00:14:57,827 --> 00:15:02,582 I mean, we're still friends, 598 00:14:57,827 --> 00:15:02,582 right, Steve? 599 00:15:02,582 --> 00:15:05,210 Hey, your name 600 00:15:02,582 --> 00:15:05,210 is Steve. 601 00:15:05,210 --> 00:15:08,129 And her ex-boyfriend's 602 00:15:05,210 --> 00:15:08,129 name is Steve. 603 00:15:08,129 --> 00:15:10,173 What are the odds 604 00:15:08,129 --> 00:15:10,173 of that... 605 00:15:10,173 --> 00:15:11,716 Wait. 606 00:15:14,511 --> 00:15:18,097 No, no, no, no, 607 00:15:14,511 --> 00:15:18,097 no, no, no. 608 00:15:14,511 --> 00:15:18,097 Give me this. 609 00:15:18,097 --> 00:15:19,891 Oh, yeah, 610 00:15:18,097 --> 00:15:19,891 that'll get it out. 611 00:15:19,891 --> 00:15:22,935 Maybe you should 612 00:15:19,891 --> 00:15:22,935 try club soda. 613 00:15:22,935 --> 00:15:25,605 Damn it, it really hurts. 614 00:15:22,935 --> 00:15:25,605 I need, like, 615 00:15:22,935 --> 00:15:25,605 some ointment or something. 616 00:15:25,605 --> 00:15:29,067 What's this? 617 00:15:25,605 --> 00:15:29,067 Spanish massage oil. 618 00:15:31,152 --> 00:15:32,904 Spanish massage oil? 619 00:15:35,907 --> 00:15:37,950 What happened here 620 00:15:35,907 --> 00:15:37,950 last night? 621 00:15:39,994 --> 00:15:41,829 Last night got weird. 622 00:16:09,899 --> 00:16:12,527 Feel the emotions release. 623 00:16:12,527 --> 00:16:16,030 I think I just got over 624 00:16:12,527 --> 00:16:16,030 being chunky 625 00:16:12,527 --> 00:16:16,030 in the ninth grade. 626 00:16:17,198 --> 00:16:19,075 You're beautiful. 627 00:16:20,285 --> 00:16:21,786 I am beautiful. 628 00:16:24,205 --> 00:16:26,791 Experience your food. 629 00:16:28,918 --> 00:16:30,002 There. 630 00:16:31,170 --> 00:16:32,922 Try the mango. 631 00:16:36,801 --> 00:16:39,971 Okay, that's enough 632 00:16:36,801 --> 00:16:39,971 of the fruit. 633 00:16:39,971 --> 00:16:42,223 We're sorry, Ted. 634 00:16:39,971 --> 00:16:42,223 It'll never happen again. 635 00:16:42,223 --> 00:16:44,016 It meant 636 00:16:42,223 --> 00:16:44,016 nothing to us. 637 00:16:44,016 --> 00:16:45,810 It just felt really, 638 00:16:44,016 --> 00:16:45,810 really, really good. 639 00:16:45,810 --> 00:16:48,813 Oh! I can't even 640 00:16:45,810 --> 00:16:48,813 look at you 641 00:16:45,810 --> 00:16:48,813 two right now. 642 00:16:53,568 --> 00:16:55,361 He got a tramp stamp. 643 00:17:05,413 --> 00:17:07,790 All right, first of all, 644 00:17:05,413 --> 00:17:07,790 this isn't one of those, 645 00:17:07,790 --> 00:17:10,418 "I came all the way over here 646 00:17:07,790 --> 00:17:10,418 because I want 647 00:17:07,790 --> 00:17:10,418 you back" things. 648 00:17:10,418 --> 00:17:12,712 There'll be no 649 00:17:10,418 --> 00:17:12,712 startling confession 650 00:17:10,418 --> 00:17:12,712 of love, 651 00:17:12,712 --> 00:17:14,589 no sweet indie rock song 652 00:17:12,712 --> 00:17:14,589 that swells up 653 00:17:14,589 --> 00:17:16,549 just as we're about to kiss. 654 00:17:14,589 --> 00:17:16,549 None of that crap. Got it? 655 00:17:16,549 --> 00:17:17,758 Okay. 656 00:17:16,549 --> 00:17:17,758 Good. 657 00:17:17,758 --> 00:17:19,760 Now, here's the thing. 658 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:21,053 It sucks that you came back 659 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:21,053 from Argentina 660 00:17:21,053 --> 00:17:22,847 with someone 661 00:17:21,053 --> 00:17:22,847 as awesome as Gael. 662 00:17:22,847 --> 00:17:24,849 And I know I have no right 663 00:17:22,847 --> 00:17:24,849 to be upset at you. 664 00:17:24,849 --> 00:17:26,767 We're broken up, 665 00:17:24,849 --> 00:17:26,767 life goes on, whatever. 666 00:17:26,767 --> 00:17:28,687 But you know what? 667 00:17:26,767 --> 00:17:28,687 We never did this. 668 00:17:28,687 --> 00:17:31,690 We had this polite breakup 669 00:17:28,687 --> 00:17:31,690 with no irrational yelling 670 00:17:31,690 --> 00:17:33,274 and that's just wrong! 671 00:17:33,274 --> 00:17:36,068 So, I'm going to 672 00:17:33,274 --> 00:17:36,068 yell irrationally 673 00:17:33,274 --> 00:17:36,068 for a little while, 674 00:17:36,068 --> 00:17:38,613 and you're just gonna 675 00:17:36,068 --> 00:17:38,613 have to stand there 676 00:17:36,068 --> 00:17:38,613 and deal with it, okay? 677 00:17:38,613 --> 00:17:39,864 If you feel like 678 00:17:38,613 --> 00:17:39,864 you need to do that, 679 00:17:38,613 --> 00:17:39,864 then... 680 00:17:39,864 --> 00:17:41,199 I think I do! 681 00:17:41,199 --> 00:17:44,369 I really think I do! 682 00:17:41,199 --> 00:17:44,369 So now I'm yelling! 683 00:17:46,538 --> 00:17:47,872 You shaved. 684 00:17:46,538 --> 00:17:47,872 I did! 685 00:17:47,872 --> 00:17:49,415 I liked the beard. 686 00:17:47,872 --> 00:17:49,415 I liked it, too, 687 00:17:49,415 --> 00:17:50,875 but it was getting 688 00:17:49,415 --> 00:17:50,875 kind of hot! 689 00:17:50,875 --> 00:17:53,878 Maybe in the winter, 690 00:17:50,875 --> 00:17:53,878 I'll grow it back out! 691 00:17:55,838 --> 00:17:58,049 Okay, I'm done. 692 00:17:58,049 --> 00:18:00,885 I know it was weird 693 00:17:58,049 --> 00:18:00,885 showing up with Gael. 694 00:18:00,885 --> 00:18:02,303 I'm sorry. 695 00:18:03,971 --> 00:18:07,141 Look, us breaking up, 696 00:18:03,971 --> 00:18:07,141 it was the right thing. 697 00:18:07,141 --> 00:18:09,477 But it took some time 698 00:18:07,141 --> 00:18:09,477 to get over you, you know? 699 00:18:09,477 --> 00:18:11,604 I'm still 700 00:18:09,477 --> 00:18:11,604 getting over you. 701 00:18:11,604 --> 00:18:13,481 But you? You were over it 702 00:18:11,604 --> 00:18:13,481 the minute they started 703 00:18:11,604 --> 00:18:13,481 the in-flight movie. 704 00:18:13,481 --> 00:18:15,358 Over it? 705 00:18:15,358 --> 00:18:18,611 My first three days 706 00:18:15,358 --> 00:18:18,611 in Argentina, 707 00:18:15,358 --> 00:18:18,611 I cried my eyes out. 708 00:18:18,611 --> 00:18:20,905 I missed you so much. 709 00:18:20,905 --> 00:18:23,616 I wanted to go 710 00:18:20,905 --> 00:18:23,616 and prove how adventurous 711 00:18:20,905 --> 00:18:23,616 I am, 712 00:18:23,616 --> 00:18:26,745 but the truth is 713 00:18:23,616 --> 00:18:26,745 it was really lonely. 714 00:18:26,745 --> 00:18:29,121 And that's why 715 00:18:26,745 --> 00:18:29,121 Gael happened. 716 00:18:30,373 --> 00:18:32,751 You weren't trying 717 00:18:30,373 --> 00:18:32,751 to win the breakup? 718 00:18:32,751 --> 00:18:34,753 I was trying to 719 00:18:32,751 --> 00:18:34,753 survive it. 720 00:18:35,712 --> 00:18:38,256 Okay. 721 00:18:38,256 --> 00:18:40,633 No. See, look, 722 00:18:38,256 --> 00:18:40,633 that all sounds good, 723 00:18:40,633 --> 00:18:43,595 and we'll still be friends 724 00:18:40,633 --> 00:18:43,595 and move on, but, 725 00:18:43,595 --> 00:18:45,430 did he have to 726 00:18:43,595 --> 00:18:45,430 be so hot? 727 00:18:45,430 --> 00:18:46,639 The guy's an Adonis. 728 00:18:46,639 --> 00:18:47,807 He's not an Adonis. 729 00:18:47,807 --> 00:18:50,435 He's the Cadillac 730 00:18:47,807 --> 00:18:50,435 of rebound guys. 731 00:18:50,435 --> 00:18:52,478 Marshall has a crush 732 00:18:50,435 --> 00:18:52,478 on him! 733 00:18:52,478 --> 00:18:54,480 The guy's perfect. 734 00:18:52,478 --> 00:18:54,480 He's not perfect. 735 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:58,943 No, come on. 736 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:58,943 He's hot, he wind surfs, 737 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:58,943 he massages things. 738 00:18:58,943 --> 00:19:01,028 Name one way 739 00:18:58,943 --> 00:19:01,028 I'm better 740 00:18:58,943 --> 00:19:01,028 than that guy. 741 00:19:01,946 --> 00:19:03,823 You're bigger. 742 00:19:03,823 --> 00:19:05,784 Don't patronize me. 743 00:19:03,823 --> 00:19:05,784 If anything, he may even be 744 00:19:03,823 --> 00:19:05,784 a little bit taller. 745 00:19:05,784 --> 00:19:08,745 No. Ted, you're bigger. 746 00:19:10,079 --> 00:19:12,248 I win! 747 00:19:12,248 --> 00:19:14,208 Kids, 748 00:19:12,248 --> 00:19:14,208 I can't remember exactly 749 00:19:14,208 --> 00:19:16,961 what helped me get through 750 00:19:14,208 --> 00:19:16,961 the whole Robin-Gael incident. 751 00:19:16,961 --> 00:19:19,964 I'm sure that it was something 752 00:19:16,961 --> 00:19:19,964 profound and meaningful, 753 00:19:19,964 --> 00:19:22,883 and not at all macho 754 00:19:19,964 --> 00:19:22,883 and petty, 755 00:19:22,883 --> 00:19:25,928 but after that, 756 00:19:22,883 --> 00:19:25,928 I was back on my feet. 757 00:19:25,928 --> 00:19:28,389 And what followed 758 00:19:25,928 --> 00:19:28,389 was a new era in my life, 759 00:19:28,389 --> 00:19:31,476 a crazy time unlike anything 760 00:19:28,389 --> 00:19:31,476 that came before. 761 00:19:31,476 --> 00:19:33,770 It's funny 762 00:19:31,476 --> 00:19:33,770 looking back at those days, 763 00:19:33,770 --> 00:19:37,022 knowing now exactly 764 00:19:33,770 --> 00:19:37,022 what I was heading towards, 765 00:19:37,022 --> 00:19:39,651 and what was heading 766 00:19:37,022 --> 00:19:39,651 towards me. 767 00:19:50,829 --> 00:19:52,037 Go for Barney. 768 00:19:52,037 --> 00:19:54,457 Hey, man, it's Marshall. 769 00:19:54,457 --> 00:19:56,917 Check your e-mail. 770 00:19:54,457 --> 00:19:56,917 Sent you something. 771 00:19:56,917 --> 00:19:58,002 What is it? 772 00:19:58,002 --> 00:20:00,087 Just a new website. 773 00:20:00,087 --> 00:20:02,047 Slapcountdown.com. 774 00:20:05,510 --> 00:20:06,678 What does this mean? 775 00:20:07,846 --> 00:20:09,555 Marshall? 776 00:20:17,438 --> 00:20:18,564 No! 777 00:20:19,940 --> 00:20:21,150 No!